Just a quick warning: there are descriptions of blood and vomiting in this chapter, as well as medical procedures.
Thanks so much for reading and following this story so far, I appreciate it!
Leonard woke up with a sick feeling in his chest. Memories were flying through his mind, memories of white sheets, pale skin, blue eyes closed, and agony in his heart. He couldn't take a deep breath in, and all he wanted to do was make sure that Jim was okay.
Deep down he knew that the serum worked, that Jim was alive, but it didn't stop his mind from racing, his limbs from pulling him out of bed and to the communicator, sweat falling into his eyes as he stumbled. His finger hovered over the comm button, but it hesitated, as the sights and smells around him finally registered.
These weren't his quarters. This wasn't his comm station. This wasn't his Enterprise.
He took a deep breath, kneeling onto the floor, his head in his hands. He had forgotten…that nightmare felt like it was his reality, Jim's cold body seemed real, and Leonard's panic was straight from his memories. He had forgotten that he wasn't home. He wasn't on his Enterprise. Jim wasn't here.
But, he was alive. He had to be. The serum worked, it was the reason Leonard was here in the first place, wasn't it? The Romulans wanted to know what the formula was so that they could bring people to life.
But Leonard knew that it wasn't true, the facts told him so, and he let himself drown in them, because facts stopped panic, right? Spock would be proud of him, Leonard was sure.
The serum he developed didn't bring people to life, it rapidly healed the body, even if there was only minimal brain activity remaining. Which, in itself, was dangerous, too. Who knew what it could lead to? But the facts remained the same: Jim wasn't dead, he was barely dead then, there was still brain activity, which is why he had to be put in the cryotube. The tribble's brain functioned long after it physically died, the serum was a life saving device, but it couldn't bring people back from the dead. Leonard knew that.
It was a pity that the Romulans' didn't. Then, Leonard would be home by now. Then, the pilot wouldn't have died. That kid was so young…
More memories filled his mind, of dark rooms, of chains, of screams from torture, his own paired with one more, screams that he could never forget. Of boots slamming down onto his chest. Of hands twisting his leg, breaking bone. Of a young Starfleet officer covered in blood.
His breath hitched, and he ran for the bathroom, clutching the toilet seat as he heaved, bile spilling from his lips as he shuddered, coughing. Inwardly, he was berating himself. He was a doctor, he should be able to take it! He's seen death, he's seen blood, he's seen young lives taken too early.
Yet, this time it was his fault, wasn't it?
He had to stop thinking about it. If he kept thinking about it he would never get out of the bathroom, and that wouldn't look good to any of these people here, much less Doctor McCoy. He wasn't going to break in front of another version of him. Never.
He puked again, shivering from the uncomfortable sick feeling that swelled in his chest, the cold that climbed up his spine, and held himself there until he was sure that he could handle the emotions that swirled under the surface, until he was sure that he wouldn't puke all over the floor and make a fool of himself.
Counting back from five, he got up, tried to freshen up as best as he could, and took a minute to look himself in the mirror. He was pale, with deep eye bags, and heavy stubble on his cheeks. It was only a week since he had been saved from the shuttle, and it was two days since Doctor M'Benga had released him from Sickbay. His leg was fully healed, but Leonard still felt like he was broken. Pieces of him were missing, and he knew that nothing here could fix it.
If he got his memories and nightmares under control, maybe he would feel a little bit better. But, there were really no guarantees, especially not here. He couldn't talk to Spock about his worries. He couldn't hug Jim and feel the warmth of his skin, proof that he was alive and well.
Taking a deep breath, he threw on a spare outfit that was lent to him, black pants and a black top, and exited his quarters slowly, only to be greeted with the two security guards that were assigned to him for the day. They haven't told him their names, and he didn't ask. He didn't belong here, he didn't want to grow close to anyone. After giving them a nod, they escorted him to the Mess Hall, where he knew that he would be watched by all of the crewmen, like the day before. He didn't have to wonder why. A new and younger McCoy? It sounded impossible, even to him.
He was used to being stared at. After the messy divorce, he was avoided by all of his old friends and peers, Jocelyn managing to turn them against him, and he was often stared at by them, watched under their judgemental gaze. At the Academy he was the oldest Cadet by far, known as the broken drunk doctor who ruined his own life. On the Enterprise, especially at the start, he was seen as the scary doctor. It didn't bother him anymore. The only thing that he wished would change is that he didn't have to endure it alone. At least back home he had Jim to talk to, or even Spock, if things got too hard.
Here, he didn't really have anyone that he would confide in like that. He didn't know this James Kirk. He didn't know this Spock. He trusted them, but they weren't friends. And he didn't even want to think about McCoy.
Sitting down at an empty table, he turned his eyes to the strange cubes on a plate that one of the security guards placed in front of him, scowling. It was the same food, everyday. He understood that they were nutrition cubes, but couldn't they at least look more appealing?
Unlike the day before, the redshirts didn't sit with him, and instead went to sit at another table. Leonard watched them before turning back to his…food. It didn't matter why they left him alone now, he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Leonard!"
He looked up to see a woman wander over to him, her black hair in a fancy updo. She was trailed by two men in yellow, and he couldn't help but smile. They were different from the people that he knew, but he recognised them immediately.
"Nyota Uhura, am I right?"
Uhura beamed, nodding, sitting beside him and squeezing his arm gently.
"It's so good to meet you! We've heard so much about you, the Captain can't stop talking about you!" Her voice was angelic, and Leonard couldn't help but feel more comfortable around her. At least she didn't want him thrown in the Brig.
"He kept saying that we had to meet you. Apparently you're more lively than Doctor McCoy." The man with black hair said, and Leonard instantly knew that it was Sulu.
"More lively, huh?"
"And, you have more muscles!" The younger one, Chekov, said, and Leonard smiled. "You know, back in Russia, my brother would fight people for fun, in tournaments, and he was just about as strong as you!"
"You have to be strong to wrestle my Captain Kirk, believe me. That kid gets himself into way too much trouble." Leonard said, feeling a sense of welcoming envelop him, and took a slight comfort in it, "And, well, I was a doctor in some big cities in Georgia for a few years before I joined Starfleet, so I had to be strong to take out a few people that were threatening the safety of my patients. I never stopped keeping in shape, I guess."
That life seemed so simple compared to the one that he had now. It was a thought that he never thought that he would have. Yet, here he was.
Sulu spoke up, disrupting his thoughts. "Well, you look great. You're going to have to share your secrets sometime."
"There's nothing really to tell. Say, do you eat this stuff every day?" He asked, pointing to the nutrition cubes. He was curious, and the security guards refused to tell him anything.
"Of course, why?" Uhura asked, and Leonard scoffed.
"My Enterprise actually has real food. There's nothing better than some chicken and potatoes, not this…cubed, jelly matter."
"Believe it or not, our Doctor McCoy says it's good for you. Apparently it has nutrients and stuff." Chekov said, stabbing one with his fork, and he looked disgusted to do it.
"Maybe Leonard could try and convince him otherwise…?" Sulu asked, but Leonard shook his head.
"There's no way in this nightmare of space that that'll happen. We don't see eye to eye. He would rather see me in the Brig than out roaming around as a free man."
"Listen, Len, I'm sure he doesn't hate you." Uhura said with an easy smile. "You both have big personalities, that's all."
Leonard nodded, not knowing whether he could agree with her or not.
As soon as he went to take a bite out of a red cube, hating how flavorless it was, the shipwide speaker system beeped, and everyone went silent.
"All medical staff to Sickbay to tend to the injured away party. All medical staff to Sickbay."
Leonard was on his feet before he knew it, and felt two pairs of arms holding him back, pinning his arms behind his back. Uhura gasped, getting to her feet with him, and Leonard tried to wrestle himself out of the security men's grip.
"Get off of me! I need to help them!"
"You need to stay out of the way."
Leonard scowled, yet stopped his struggle, letting the two men keep their hold. "Who was on that away team?"
"We're not telling you."
Uhura frowned, shot the security guards a look and spoke. "I believe it was the Captain, Spock, and Doctor McCoy."
Typical. Of course it would be those three.
"If Doctor McCoy is hurt, then you'll need a doctor to take care of him. I'm a doctor, let me help them!" He argued, but the biggest security guard argued right back.
"There's Doctor M'Benga, and many capable nurses. You need to stay on the sidelines."
The last time he stood on the sidelines he was waiting for Spock to get some of Khan's blood. Jim basically died. Spock nearly died. Never again.
"You know, I've never been one to stay on the sidelines."
With a swift kick behind, his foot nailed a security guard's knee, and he jammed his elbow into the other man behind him. Their grip loosened, and he was able to wretch himself free, running into the corridor before the security men could catch up. A part of him felt bad for using physical violence, but he could patch them up later. People needed him. He could feel it in his gut. And, no matter what Spock said, his gut spoke the truth.
His leg hurt slightly as he ran, clearly not ready for this kind of exercise, but it wouldn't be his first time putting his own health on the line for others.
Avoiding all of the crewmembers that watched him in shock, he ran down to a turbolift, and from there bolted into sickbay, slapping on a pair of gloves before a nurse could say anything.
"Get that man out of my sickbay!"
Leonard looked up with a scowl to see Doctor McCoy pointing at him from a biobed, his arm covered in blood. A nasty gash was bleeding rapidly from his arm, and Leonard instantly knew that it was a deep one, no doubt needing stitches and a few hours with a dermal regenerator.
"Good luck kicking me out in your condition." Leonard said walking further into Sickbay, and McCoy went to stand up before Nurse Chapel pushed him down. The other doctor coughed, letting out a wheezing sound that Leonard knew wasn't good, and was thankful for Chapel's strong arms keeping him down. If McCoy had a punctured lung things would get bad, fast. Any sort of movement could be fatal for him.
Sickbay was chaotic. Loud orders of medications and hypo sprays filled the tense air. Blood coated the floor. Nurses swarmed around both Spock and Kirk, Doctor M'Benga throwing on surgical gear as he spoke quickly to the nurses around him.
Leonard didn't hesitate to push himself into the mix, despite Doctor McCoy's protests, ready for anything.
"Doctor M'Benga!" He called, getting the attention of about half a dozen people around him. "What do you need me to do?"
M'Benga let out a relieved sigh before pointing to Kirk's still form, where Leonard could see a long gash across his lower torso, bleeding rapidly.
"Leonard, thank goodness you're here. Doctor McCoy is injured, and I need another pair of steady hands. The Captain needs surgery ASAP, he has a severe hemorrhage, but Commander Spock needs the same."
Leonard looked down to Spock to see a similar injury on his thin frame, green blood soaking through the bandages the nearest nurse pressed to it. His eyes were closed, but Leonard instantly knew that he wasn't in his healing trance.
"I can take one of them for surgery. I'm not the CMO of the Enterprise for nothing." Leonard said, and Doctor McCoy protested behind him. Chapel thankfully shushed him before it could get any louder.
"Good. I'll take Commander Spock, I'm more familiar with Vulcans, and you'll take the Captain."
"McCoy will need to go in too, he's got a punctured lung."
"What?"
M'Benga turned and, as soon as he saw McCoy struggling for breath let out an uneven exhale himself, a worry that even Leonard felt, and pointed to Chapel.
"Get him under a stabilization field, I don't want things to get worse before we can treat him! Leonard, you're in Operation Room Two, I'll be in One. Whoever is done first will take McCoy."
"Yes, Sir." Chapel said, and Leonard nodded in agreement. Without hesitation, he slid effortlessly into the business around Kirk.
"Is he allergic to anything? Any medical conditions I should know about?" He asked quickly, taking in all of the medical information displayed on the scanners, and the nearest nurse shook her head.
"No allergies or pre-existing medical conditions."
Leonard couldn't help but find that a bit amusing. No allergies? It was a miracle. He could only hope that he would be able to tell his Jim about it.
Nonetheless, this made things a lot easier. His Jim was allergic to everything under the sun, which made treating him a whole circus of odd treatments and medications, yet now Leonard could use common medication to treat this Kirk. And he wasn't about to hesitate to do so.
Things were still serious. He needed to treat this man as soon as he could.
"Give me a dose of Lectrazine!" He ordered, holding out his hand as a hypo was easily slipped into it, and he plunged it into Kirk's neck. The Captain was awake, barely, but still awake, so Leonard ordered for a sedative, making sure that someone had bandages firmly pressed to the wound all of the time.
"Len…" Kirk gasped out, coughing up blood, and Leonard shushed him.
"Everyone's going to be okay, I promise you, Jim. I won't let anyone die today. Now, you're just going to rest and you'll wake up with a patched up side, you hear?"
Kirk didn't seem to have the strength to reply, and Leonard pressed the hypo into his neck, watching with tense worry as Kirk's eyes slipped closed.
He saw his Jim then, one whose blue eyes were closed, who was pale and cold on a table, no breaths of air moving through his lungs, young, so terribly young. Leonard shook his head, pushing the memories away, and ordered three nurses into the OR with him.
He could worry about that later. Right now Kirk and Spock from this timeline needed his help, and what kind of man would he be if he didn't provide it? He became a doctor to help others. So that's what he would do.