Her hands crushed his neck with so much force he almost didn't realize he couldn't breathe. Her gray hair and wrathful expression gave him pause, scared him. He tried to push the fear away but he didn't have any powers in this realm. He simply sank further and further, feeling the temperature rise but the pressure around him decreased the farther he went down. Eventually, soon enough really, he felt his lungs burning as well as his skin while every piece of his body tried to pull away from the inside out. Almost like he floated in space, getting close to a sun that held neither light nor gravity. And the only sound in this world aside from his struggles were her maddened sounds and the slither of a snake.

L****s struggled, tried to scream. He cried out his sister's name in the void, then his brother's when the sickening sound of bone being crushed and skin being charred reached his ears and no one answered his pleas. He heard his own body being carved out from the inside out, purple power beyond his comprehension making way through his limbs and chest. It was a very distinct form of pain, one different from the others. But it did not compete for space in his brain for some reason.

Death, in its emptiness, would've been far kinder.

His screams were met with a sensation akin to swallowing water while trying to breathe, and although his throat was blocked out he instinctively tried to cough.

"GAH!"

Luciel's sudden jump from the bed had him smash his head against Miyuzuin's, who was holding herself on her arms and leaning over him with a knee on his bed. The hit made his brain shake. The girl, on the other hand, just blinked as he cradled his forehead in pain. Having suffered no damage as the level of sturdiness she'd reached was incomparable to Luciel's still soft body.

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Stop." Miyuzuin reached out, getting further on the bed and holding Luciel while he trashed around. Still confused, but at least only suffering a mild headache while the Belial girl studied her with her emerald eyes "It's alright, you're safe here."

Luciel's eyes darted around the still-dark room but quickly fell onto Miyuzuin's as she put a hand on his sweaty forehead and made lines on his skin with her thumb. Slowly helping center himself as the only thing he felt were the pillows and her hand.

Luciel tried to speak, but only a wheeze came out of his mouth.

"Easy there, take your time." Her voice sounded normal, but her eyes were focused solely on him. Making sure she did not miss a hint of panic or 'disconnecting' again "I'm here with you."

Luciel grabbed Miyuzuin's arm, cold and moisty, and tried to breathe deeply to help his racing heart slow down.

"Take your time." She repeated, sweetly. Or as sweet as her usually cold voice could realistically turn.

The hit helped him a lot, actually. He felt more centered, if a bit dizzy, and the only thing refusing to work were his lungs. He forcefully pushed air into them with his magic, forcing his mind to connect with his perception of the formulae and helping him even more. It felt like an eternity, but it must've been about five seconds at most. Still, Luciel took a bit more to properly start breathing. To get his heart in check.

"You scared me." Luciel murmured as he held Miyuzuin's gaze.

"You were already scared when I got in." She pointed out.

"Oh. Did I scream?"

"Not really." She shook her head.

"Okay, that's good." Luciel swallowed with some difficulty before trying to sit up.

Miyuzuin put her hand on his chest, forcing him back down.

"Take it easy." She repeated "It's still early, you can relax."

"You're already showered and ready to go." Luciel smiled weakly.

"Force of habit." Miyuzuin replied simply, releasing Luciel of her touch and moving so she could lay beside him.

"Being an early bird has helped you before?"

"Yes." Miyuzuin pursed her lips "Haven't always stayed in one place for more than a week."

"Ah, a traveler's clock. I suppose it makes sense." Luciel spoke slowly, almost completely regaining his cool… Or as much of it as he still had.

"You sleep like a kid that has no school for the next day."

"Because I don't go to school anymore." Luciel stretched in place "Man… Okay, I'm good now."

"Are you really?" Miyuzuin frowned… More than usual, that is.

"Yes. Sorry to bother you."

"It's normal, really. Don't let it keep you up." Miyuzuin rolled away from Luciel and sat at the edge of the bed "If you need time to cool off, take it now that you can."

Luciel didn't like the sound of that.

"Yeah."

"If you can't go back to sleep, then I suggest doing some light exercise or something." The Belial girl added "We sleep better when we're tired, after all."

Luciel cringed at the idea.

"Exercise so early in the day? I don't think so. It's not like I can just practice senjutsu or anything."

"True, Kuroka's not here." The silver haired girl tilted her head "Although I can help you with that."

Luciel sat up at the idea, remembering how the first 'session' with Kuroka ended up.

He realized that Miyuzuin was only wearing a bathrobe. Her wet silver hair pressed against the back of her head and her chin, and she left droplets on the bed from time to time. Perhaps part of the reason why Luciel woke up was because Miyuzuin had loomed over him and let him get a bit wet.

"You don't mind getting dirty again?" He asked reflexively, mind still in the gutter.

"If it comes down to it, that's fine." Miyuzuin shrugged.

"I…Huh… I can take you up on that offer." Luciel managed to school his features and gave the girl a nod.

"Really?" She sounded surprised.

"Yep. Sounds like a good idea." Luciel dragged himself off the bed as he spoke, lazily using only his hands to actually move at all.

"Is it because it's me?" Miyuzuin's tone didn't sound teasing, but something in it turned softer.

"It's because one of Akeno's punches almost made a hole in my stomach." Luciel gave her a smile that said 'drop the topic, now' without hesitation. Maybe that was why he dreamed of exploding. But he couldn't be sure.

"Ah, yes. That sort of thing can…" Miyuzuin stopped speaking and looked back to the open door.

Akeno was standing there, hands joined in front of her, studying the two of them.

"I didn't apologize for that, did I?"

"No, no you didn't." Luciel got to his feet. Trying to play the episode off in spite of knowing that if Miyuzuin noticed, then Akeno must've done so as well "You two are up pretty early."

"Well, yes. That's what I was taught at the Gremory manor." Akeno answered reflexively, without properly finishing the thoughts she had before "Aside from that, are you alright? Luciel-sama sounded… In pain."

"It's what happens when your average Joe has to face the horrors of this world." Luciel chuckled weakly.

"The supernatural isn't for everyone. Especially not people that have no protection." Miyuzuin also stood up, placing a hand on Luciel's shoulder "It will pass."

"Sounds like he needs assistance." Akeno pointed out.

"And that's what training is about. Building up confidence, knowing that you're strong enough to not end up in the same spot." She nodded to Luciel, looking for confirmation.

He was stronger now, but he still felt robbed of any means of defense after facing… Well, that. He wasn't sure Miyuzuin actually knew what she was talking about.

"There's a need for kindness here, more than strength. If Luciel-sama doesn't want to talk about it now, then that's fine. Still…"

"He'll know how to take care of his burden." Miyuzuin interrupted the half-fallen angel.

"Neither of you are psychologists." Luciel reminded them "I don't have to deal with anything right now. There'll be time later."

"Later is never enough, Luciel-sama." Akeno looked rather worried.

"Later will have to be enough, given that we're facing the end of the world." Luciel shook his head "Sacrifices must be made."

"But if you're not sound of mind, then…"

"That's why we're here." Miyuzuin insisted "We help each other feel safe, right? It's what your Mistress did too."

"Well, yes. But there are ways, Yuzu-san."

"Please, don't treat me like a baby. I can discern what's good for me." Luciel scoffed "I know I'm small, but that just makes me feel like you're making fun of me."

"Oh, my. We're not discussing Luciel-sama's cuteness. I just want Yuzu-san to be a bit more gentle." Akeno smiled weakly, switching mental gears.

"Don't just start flirting with him either, do you have no shame?" Miyuzuin put both hands on Luciel's shoulders.

"I wouldn't dare, what gave you that impression?" Akeno closed her eyes with a sly smile.

He chuckled and placed his right hand on Miyuzuin's.

"Is that jealousy I hear?"

"Your mug is cute, but you're a little too easy a guy." Miyuzuin replied as if it was obvious "I don't want you to get distracted."

The more she repeated that, the more Luciel felt like she was projecting. But he didn't say it out loud. Not when someone else could hear him, especially Akeno. He suspected the half-fallen angel would use it as ammo against Miyuzuin later.

"Distracted or bewitched?" Akeno asked. It sounded like she was a bit relieved that the conversation had changed, and Luciel noticed that he did feel fine again. Distracting himself helped.

"Yeah, which one?" Luciel mirrored the raven haired girl's smugness "Tell me and I just might follow you around without question."

"You make it sound like I'm trying to seduce you." Miyuzuin dropped her hands.

"I'm not the one that came to your room basically naked." Luciel pointed out.

"I'm wearing underwear." She replied "It's basically like wearing a dress if you think about it."

"One that can easily be taken off?" Akeno refused to be let out of the conversation.

"Look who's talking." Luciel had to suppress a laugh while talking.

Akeno shrugged.

"Color me guilty."

"Huh?" It'd have been funny if Miyuzuin reacted more vividly, or if she place herself between them and tried to shake Luciel for answers or something. But she just looked at them with some confusion.

Teasing her like this was no fun, and it'd just damage what he was trying to build in the long run. So he just shook his head.

"Luciel-sama has the strange ability to get girls to approach him in various states of undress." Akeno placed a hand on her cheek, looking like she was talking about something a puppy did.

"That's blatant defamation." He protested. Diodora's peerage did not count, and given that Miyuzuin technically wasn't undressed…

Kuroka?

So two or three times, tops. Not really a precedent.

"Maybe I should stick with you a bit more…" Miyuzuin murmured.

Luciel didn't really know what to feel about that.

"Please don't try to use me to ogle girls, I might get depressed." It actually sounded kind of awful, not only because he'd be used, but because he really couldn't compete against girls. He was still a man, after all. And he suspected that the damage left by Ophis wouldn't let him change that any time soon.

…

Not like he would change himself for Miyuzuin! What?

Luciel screwed his eyes shut.

"Luciel-sama?" Akeno sounded like she stopped messing around, but Luciel just waved her off.

"I thought something incredibly stupid, don't mind me."

That was the first rule, wasn't it? Don't change for anyone. Be yourself. It doesn't matter how much you think you love them, it's not worth it if they can't love you back like you are.

Not like he actually loves Miyuzuin, but…

"Lucius?" Now even the Belial girl sounded a bit worried as Luciel hid his face with both hands.

What the hell? Was this the emotional sensibility he supposedly lacked? Or was it because his defenses had been weakened by the nightmares? Why was he thinking such useless thoughts?

He felt Miyuzuin's cheek press against his.

"It's okay." She whispered, and her voice made him shiver "You're cute enough to be the eye candy."

Perhaps everyone was right. Maybe Luciel was just incredibly horny. He couldn't explain the sheer hotness on his face or the way Miyuzuin's smell made his brain melt.

"Training." He reminded her "Let's… Let's train."

Miyuzuin gave him some space.

"Glad we're on the same page." She didn't sound smug, but Luciel imagined she felt a bit like she won.

The sound of the tap water running masked Fate Weaver's dry heaving as he held himself over the sink. He wasn't sick or had any food in his stomach for that matter, but it felt like his body tried to physically get rid of the turmoil in his heart. Forcing him into a pathetic state that he couldn't show anyone in the church.

The bathroom was relatively small, as he was dropped away from the major cathedrals and convents. He was in a small chapel somewhere close to Canada, closer to the home of his previous world than he'd like, and was supposed to lay low for a couple of days.

Still, the chewing that he was given the day prior didn't release him. And he started the day like this, looking like a mess when he had to show himself at his best.

"You're tearing my heart apart!" Gabriel had said once they were out of sight and earshot both of anyone "I told you, I explained it to you time and again! So why won't you listen?!"

"Mom, wait. I know I messed up, I really do. But what was I supposed to do?!" Fate Weaver had tried to defend himself, tried to make his mother see things his way.

"That's what you should've known already!" She didn't sound angrier. Instead, her voice broke down even more "You're a Child of Heaven! You should know! This is the sort of decision I taught you to make right!"

"But what if the fallen angels couldn't deal with the guy?! He bypassed my powers easily! Who else but me could've dealt with him?!"

"I don't know! You were the one that was there. You should know." Gabriel insisted, reaching out to grab at Fate Weaver's hands as tears ran down her face "My child, my baby. Using those two spells is never the only option, you've gone some time without them. Can't you see?"

Fate Weaver coughed fruitlessly. Still feeling sick to his core, but getting the physical symptoms to stop after a bit. No matter how much he replayed it in his mind, he didn't have it in him to shoot down his mother. He knew she was right, but he'd have liked it if she wasn't so inflexible. He defended himself, he didn't try to provoke Saji into rampaging around Grigori territory. It should've been a lesson to the guy. Nothing more, nothing less.

He dragged himself to the room he'd been given. A simple space with a bed, a drawer, and a desk. He didn't have a lot of things on him, so he didn't mind. But the lack of comfort didn't help his mood at all. It felt like he'd fallen from grace altogether, like Heaven was getting away and his environment was becoming more like Purgatory.

Like he'd fall to Hell if he didn't do anything about it.

"Shit, shit, shit…" He tried to calm down, to breathe slower, but it didn't help much. It just reminded him how furious he was, and that made him even madder.

He went to his phone, checking the text messages he got to try to distract himself. Some people from the church were asking this or that, higher ups that had direct access to him but no authority to actually demand answers. Dulio, too, sent him a lengthy text describing why Fate Weaver should be careful with his actions from now on. But he didn't want to read that now. Only Shinon actually asked if he was alright, and that helped a whole lot than reminding him he screwed up. Not to mention, she showed a lot more worry than Irina, who didn't text him at all.

Why? They were friends since forever, they did missions together. Hell, he gave her the Mechanical Angel so she could be stronger! Why then she gave him the cold shoulder when—!

A message made him stop in his spiral of anger, turning his mind into a blank canvas as he saw the sender like someone would look at a weird animal crawling out of a corner of a room.

"'Can we talk?', is it?" Fate Weaver murmured as he opened his dad's text. Not the bastard of the other world, but the one who birthed him in this one. The Hyoudou man that gave him his human names.

Unlike canon, this version of Hyoudou Gorou wasn't some good-for-nothing nameless no one. But a swordsman coming from a family that fought the supernatural basically with their physical abilities and skills with weapons alone. He'd been chosen by Gabriel for this reason to be her partner, and although the archangel took it upon herself to do most of the actual parenting… Well, Fate Weaver couldn't say he hated his dad. This one, at least.

The parental figure did bring resentment and fear at the beginning, but from the recollections of their moments together… Gorou wasn't a bad dad. He taught Fate Weaver the blade when it became apparent that he'd inherited the Hyoudou's almost non-existent talent for magical powers, and encouraged him to break the family's shackles and actually try to use his light powers.

Their relationship was awkward at best. Gabriel thought Fate Weaver should be raised like an angel, and he didn't have good experiences with dads either. He'd thought he didn't need the man.

They didn't let the man in as much as he'd have liked, and he'd had the decency to not push further… Or the self-preservation to avoid pissing off an archangel.

But… Well… Fate Weaver could really use some of the support he never had.

He pressed the button to call.

"...Issei?" The man sounded tired, or perhaps old. It hadn't been that far since the last time they saw each other, but it'd been a few hours at best. Some training, eating, catching up. Then… Back to the church.

"Hey, dad." Fate Weaver still felt weird saying that, but now it hurt his chest in a way that it hadn't before "Did mom tell you?"

"You know she really needs a listening ear when things go wrong." The man chuckled "She was devastated, but I suppose you already know that."

"Yeah…" Fate Weaver clenched his jaw, trying not to hang up then and there.

"Mhm. So, are you alright?" The man's tone was soft, worried. It took Fate Weaver a bit by surprise and he almost didn't understand the question "I can't imagine what it was like to have something like that in front of you."

"I'm… Fine." Fate Weaver chuckled awkwardly "A bit out of sorts, is all."

"I can imagine. Very few people can really understand what it is like to face true fear, so I thought… Well, I wanted to know if you were dealing with it fine."

"I'm not scared." Fate Weaver protested "I wasn't scared."

"You weren't? I heard the guy bypassed your failsafe." His dad's words made Fate Weaver's muscles seize up, like a current had run through his nerves and forced him to clench his whole body "And then you decided to use a sure-kill ability?"

Fate Weaver's body loosened up.

"I…"

"It's okay, Issei. These things happen." His dad exhaled "I don't think your mom can really understand it anymore. She's fought in wars even against the legendary Heavenly Dragons, but she's never been truly alone. She doesn't get it, can't really contextualize what happened."

"But you get it?" Fate Weaver asked reflexively.

"Son, being a warrior isn't about glory and victory. It is about losing as little as possible, living with the things you see and do when your comrades don't get to see tomorrow." The man stopped for a moment, and Fate Weaver imagined him shaking his head with disapproval "Angels may outlive us, but we humans get to suffer loss all the time. And so, we understand it far better than them. To a regular man or woman, just not fighting isn't an option. There are things lurking beyond the Veil that will exterminate us if we are not ready. And, in spite of your mother's protests, you're also human. You're my son, after all."

"..." Fate Weaver didn't really have an answer to that. His anger had faded away, but it didn't leave anything behind. That void scared him a little, as the cold settled in and he realized that the red-hot emotions boiling inside were just a cover up to the damning sensation left when they were gone.

"I'm so sorry you had to make that call." His dad said after a moment of silence.

"The others… They couldn't have fought him." Fate Weaver murmured, his voice a bit too high for his comfort.

"Are you certain?" The man asked.

"...I was." Now? Not so sure, not after everyone accused him of messing up.

"So you did what you thought would be best." The man concluded "I see. I'm glad."

That confused Fate Weaver even more.

"Fights end in the blink of an eye, Issei. Being quick on your feet separates the dead from the living. I know that very well, and I also know what making the wrong call feels like." The man sighed "I'm sorry you have to learn this now. If I…"

"No one believes me." Fate Weaver interrupted "I… I don't know what to do."

"Did you do it in self-defense?"

"Yes." Fate Weaver cradled the phone with both of his hands.

"Then you have to show it to everyone." His dad sentenced "That is not an excuse, not a free pass. It's your argument and word, and you have to prove it."

"What?"

"Fights and wars aren't about glory and victory, son. They are about living with the mistakes you've made, they are about being seen as a monster by those you seek to protect… And it is about taking responsibility for your actions." He sounded so much older like that, much wiser than Fate Weaver imagined "So if you're accused of mishandling your powers, you bow down and apologize. If people call you cruel, you remind them that they're welcome to try to find other ways in the same situation. But above all else, you show them that your word is true. That you are sorry, and that an action done in desperation is not who you are."

"That's…" Fate Weaver swallowed "How is that fair?"

"It's not. But life's like that, son. There's no way to achieve 100% victory. There are no retries, no second chances. We live and die by how much damage control we can get away with."

"I… I am a Miracle Child, though." Fate Weaver scoffed "Surely, if I try…"

"No, child. There will never be a big enough miracle to make everything right. No God or dragon is strong enough." The man admonished him "You do whatever you want, whatever you are forced to, and then… Then you take responsibility for your actions. That is all."

"That's…"

"Learn from your shortcomings, Issei." The man interrupted him "Even if they are only perceived ones, remember that people only care about what they think of you. You are indeed in a very singular position. And there's no amount of luck that will save you from the world's backlash."

Fate Weaver stared at the room. Simple and insignificant. Nothing like the places he'd been since he was old enough to travel the world.

"What did you learn from this?" His dad asked.

"I… I wasn't ready. It's been a while since I fought strong opponents…"

"Then go back to training." The man stated the obvious.

"I… I didn't take everything into account."

"Then go back to the basics, of team effort and awareness." His dad added.

Fate Weaver chuckled.

"If I was weak, then I have to become strong. If I was stupid, I should simply try to be smart…" He stopped in his tracks, realizing he'd been walking around the room while talking "Learn from my mistakes."

"It's what humans do." His dad agreed.

"I see… Thanks."

"It's what I'm here for." The man chuckled "I hope it helps."

"It does." Fate Weaver sighed "I… Thanks, dad. I really needed someone that got it."

"As long as I'm alive, you'll have a listening ear and my experience." The swordsman grunted "It's what parents are for."

"Yeah… Yeah, I guess so." Fate Weaver's smile disappeared "I… What now?"

"That's for you to decide." His dad hummed "But I suppose that showing your good side and trying to apologize is a good start."

Fate Weaver cringed.

"I'm not a little kid."

"You'd be surprised by how many conflicts could've been avoided by just saying sorry."

"Not that many." The Miracle Child scoffed.

"You'd be surprised." The man repeated.

"Whatever. I… I'll consider it." Fate Weaver pursed his lips "I might be busy."

"You're the Red Dragon Emperor, after all." His dad agreed "Just don't push it away."

"Okay. I'll do that."

"See you around."

"Bye, dad…" He heard the line get cut, and he just lowered his phone while thinking.

Could he do it? Should he? Nothing bad ever came from listening to his dad, this dad, but something within Fate Weaver still didn't want to go in that direction. It felt like he was admitting defeat, playing by someone else's rules. And that wasn't the kind of life he wanted to lead this time around.

He'd played under his previous father's rules for long enough.

[You run around in circles uselessly. It's almost like you want to fail again]

The reptilian voice made him snap to attention. Years of training had him summoning his Sacred Gear Blade and preparing for the assault, yet the voice came from within him. Not the outside.

[Heh… Look at you. Surprised, confused. This is the very problem you're facing right now. Exactly this. You act like you know better without thinking, and then get surprised when things follow their course regardless]

"...Ddraig?" Fate Weaver tentatively spoke up, feeling a strange mix of dread and relief. He knew that voice, from the previous world and the time he heard it before. He'd thought he imagined it, but now he was certain. That'd been the dragon's voice.

[Who else if not?]

"I… Why now? I've had you for years."

[Wrong. You've had the Boosted Gear for years. I am property of no one, answer to no one. I might be imprisoned in this Heavenly tool, but I am still a dragon. I have my pride]

Fate Weaver gritted his teeth.

"That's… That's not what I meant."

[Oh, but I digress. That's exactly what you meant. You're young, arrogant, and naive. A deadly combination in anyone's hands… For themselves. And yet you have a good enough support that you've lived. You've progressed thanks to the strength given to you]

"I gained my strength! I trained, I became good at fighting!" Fate Weaver turned the sword so the emerald solid-light like blade pointed upwards "It's all thanks to my own effort!"

[Wrong. All your powers, your holy attribute, your swordsmanship, even the Boosted Gear itself, were all handed to you. You won a lottery most can't even participate in, and it's thanks to all of that that you are where you are now]

"Says the Heavenly Dragon." Fate Weaver scoffed "Don't you freaking patronize me about shit like this. It makes you look bad."

[I am a dragon, brat. I am a being made out of power, passion, and potential. I did not inherit a powerful skill or look up to anyone. I willed myself into existence as Ddraig. I climbed every step by my own might, dethroned anyone that got in my path. I left ruins behind uncaringly, I stole whenever I pleased, I lived however I wanted. That is the difference between you and I, the difference between a Dragon and a kid that wants to be one]

"Well, anyone…"

[No one. Not even Albion, who got to his own position which I cannot usurp. Not the Gods, not the Dragon Kings or the Evil Dragons. I alone am the Welsh Dragon Emperor, the Red One. You think you're special? That you're unique? That there's no one better than you? That's a lie. You want people to THINK that, regardless of reality. And that makes you weak]

"That's…!" Fate Weaver felt red-hot inside. But this time, it wasn't due to anger. It wasn't an empowering feeling, but rather a disarming one "...That's uncalled for."

[Good. A small step toward humility, but a step nonetheless. I always wondered whether you'd perish under the weight of your own ego or raise up to challenge the world as I did]

"Is that why you never answered my calls?"

[Why should I bother with a brat that has no future? I could see clearly that you'd lose your wings and fail, beings "destined" for greatness are usually like that]

"That's…! Fuck you, you old lizard! Times change! Plus, there's no one like me in this world!"

[That is also a lie]

Fate Weaver flinched again.

[But no matter. Even if you choose to go back to being a crying baby in the corner right now, you've proven that you're not a completely lost cause. It reads to me like you're in dire need of a critic, so… That's why I revealed myself to you now]

"A critic?! Really?!" Fate Weaver shook the sword, but Ddraig didn't answer again "What? You'll just not answer because I'm being annoying?! Are you here just to mock me?!"

[That implies that I find you funny, and I do not. I shall simply remind you to not sully my titles any further]

"That's bullshit!"

And yet Ddraig remained silent. Fate Weaver insulted him a bit more, but it was for nothing. The Red Dragon Emperor was only a soul now. He wouldn't be bothered that easily by a mere mortal from another world thinking he knew better.