Title: We Didn't Lose Him Down the Toilet
Team: Caerphilly Catapults
Position: Chaser 1
Round: QL Daily Prophet Expelliarmus Competition
Prompt: Impervius– [dialogue] "I don't believe it… it's just… bouncing off? How?"
Additional Prompts used: N/A
Word count: 1101
Betas: Ikuni
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Lily asked, looking at her husband and Sirius suspiciously.
"Of course, we do," James stated. "Everything will be fine. Go and enjoy your lunch with Mary."
"Hmm…" Lily's eyes narrowed in suspicion at the guilty look on Sirius' face. "Maybe I should see if Remus can come and help you."
"Really isn't necessary, Lils," Sirius tried to assure her but Lily didn't look any less suspicious.
"We'll be fine," James said, backing up Sirius. "It's nearly the full moon, you don't need to bother Moony. I think I can be trusted to look after my son for one afternoon."
"And you promise you won't do anything dangerous or reckless?"
"You have my word," James grinned at his wife.
"And when I come back my child will be alive and whole and the house will still be standing?"
"What do you take us for?" Sirius asked, grinning at Lily.
"I take you both for a couple of idiots, who have never quite grown up. Especially, when you are together without Remus to keep you in check."
"I'm hurt," Sirius said in mock hurt tones, grinning at James.
"To think my wife doesn't trust me with our son."
"I do," Lily said. "It's just more the together part that worries me."
"I promise we won't lose Harry by accidentally flushing him down the toilet or something," Sirius smirked, earning him a punch on the shoulder from Lily.
"You'd better not," she said warningly.
"Bye love," James said, kissing his wife on the cheek and gently nudging her towards the front door.
With one last suspicious glance at the two of them, Lily reluctantly opened the front door and went out to meet her friend. As soon as the front door had closed, James and Sirius dashed to the living room window and watched as Lily turned on the spot and vanished from sight. James turned to Sirius and flashed him a grin.
"Did you bring your broom, Padfoot?"
"Yup! I thought for sure Lily had spotted it when I came in though."
Sirius went back to the hall and retrieved his broom and James' from the cupboard under the stairs. Shouldering both the brooms Sirius and James, carrying baby Harry, left the house and Apparated to the nearby woods. Sirius handed James his broom.
"Ready?" James asked, mounting his broom and holding Harry on the broom in front of him.
"Ready," Sirius replied, mounting his own broom.
"Let's go," James said, as he flew through the trees, just high enough for his feet to be off the ground, he wasn't totally irresponsible after all. Sirius zooming along behind them. Harry was giggling, gleefully as they zoomed about the woods with the wind in their faces. Harry clapped his hands together as Sirius darted his broom in front of them. James flew a little higher and Sirius started doing circles around them, over, under, over under, in front, behind, in front, behind; all the time Harry was giggling and clapping his hands.
"Don't know why Lils was so worried," Sirius said, flashing a huge grin at James, as they flew over some boggy ground. James turned to face his best friend who was flying along beside the now and returned the grin. And that was all it took. In that split second, where James and Sirius were too busy grinning at each other, Harry slipped off the broom and landed with a soft, squelchy, splat in the bog. James and Sirius looked at each other in horror. They leapt off their brooms, cast a quick Impervius on themselves and waded into the bog to get Harry. Harry was covered in mud and was having a great time splashing in the stagnant, muddy water. James gingerly picked Harry up and held him at arm's length.
"Lily is going to kill us," James said.
"Us?" Sirius asked. "You're the one who let him slip off the broom into the bog."
"Yes us," James said, as they made their way out the bog back to their brooms. "You didn't exactly stop me from taking him on the broom."
"Lily is going to kill us," Sirius said, looking serious.
"We'd best get back and give him a bath before she gets home."
"Agreed."
Still holding Harry at arm's length James Apparated back to the house; Sirius followed with the brooms. Sirius drew a bath for Harry while James stripped Harry of his muddy clothes. Harry was not at all pleased at having been removed from the mud, nor at having his muddy clothes removed. He had managed to smear more mud over his face and in his hair in the time it took Sirius to run the bath. James plonked Harry in the bath, conjured up a jug and poured jug after jug of water over Harry's head in an attempt to clean him.
"I don't believe it… it's just… bouncing off? How?" Sirius exclaimed, as Harry remained as dirty as when they had put him in the bath.
"He must've cast an Impervius charm because he doesn't want to wash," James exclaimed, as Harry slapped both his hands into the water of the overly full bath for a one-year-old, sending a wave of water slopping over the edge of the bath onto the floor and soaking James and Sirius, who both yelped and jumped back. Harry giggled delightedly and did it again and again.
"No, Harry," James moaned. "Stop, please stop. Your mother will kill me."
"Impervius, Impervius," Sirius said frantically waving his wand at both him and James.
The front door opened and closed and James and Sirius heard Lily call out, "James? Sirius? Where are you?"
"Just giving Harry a bath, love," James replied quickly. "Why don't you just get yourself a cup of tea?"
"Why?" Lily asked, suddenly suspicious.
"You deserve to relax," Sirius called down to her. "Don't worry. We've got this."
They heard Lily coming up the stairs.
"When you say don't worry, Padfoot. Then I worry," Lily came into the bathroom. "What on earth happened here?" Lily exclaimed, taking in the sopping wet floor, the pile of Harry's muddy clothes and her child in an extremely full bath, slopping yet more water onto the floor, although he was as dry as a bone and still covered in mud. "What. Did. You. Do?
"I can explain," James said looking sheepishly at his wife.
"He's alive and whole and the house is still standing and we didn't lose him down the toilet," Sirius said, giving Lily a hopeful smile, while Lily glared at them both.