A/N: The song in this chapter is 'The Wonder of You' the Ronnie Hilton Version (1959)
At eight on Wednesday morning, Mary waited at the park entrance and started stretching as she waited for Matthew. The morning chill bit at her face as she shivered, her eyes scanning the busy street that was filled with commuters passing her in a hurry, wondering if Matthew was running late in the hustle and bustle of the London crowds as people hurried their way to work. As she stretched her left leg out, she saw him walking towards her, dressed in a pair of grey jogging bottoms with a matching hoody.
"Good morning, I hope you haven't been waiting long?" Matthew greeted cheerily.
"About ten minutes." Mary replied.
"Sorry to keep you."
"It's fine. Did you sleep well?"
They walked into the park together slowly, stopping by a nearby bench to use it to stretch their legs properly. Mary placed her right leg on the bench and felt the tight stretching sensation run through it as Matthew copied her action.
"My sleep has been a little disturbed lately. I'm not used to sleeping alone." Matthew admitted.
"I hope Lavinia will talk with you soon." Mary said sympathetically.
"Thank you. I'll give her a ring on Friday and see if she wants to go out for dinner." Matthew said with a sigh.
They finished their stretching and started their jog in the park, starting slow and keeping pace with each other. They jogged around the park, picking up the pace until they were running along the paths together. Mary panted as she tried to keep to Matthew's fast pace and eventually stopped by a bench, pinching her sides as she took slow, deep breaths to get over the stitch in her ribs. She kept jogging on the spot, her heart rate maintaining as Matthew looked back over his shoulder and jogged back to where she stood.
"I hadn't realised you fell behind." Matthew said.
"I'm not used to your faster pace. I usually go for a run alone." Mary panted.
"Sorry. Shall we slow down?" Matthew suggested.
Mary nodded and caught her breath, the stitch subsiding and they carried on their run at a slower pace.
"If we continue going for runs regularly, you'll be able to keep up in no time." Matthew teased.
"I used to be able to keep up with you just fine." Mary retorted.
"You could even outrun me if memory serves."
She met his gaze and smiled.
It was strange just how at ease they were this morning, given how awkward they had both felt over the last few occasions they had spent time together.
They continued to jog lightly around the park until they came to a complete stop.
"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" Matthew asked.
"Daytime TV." Mary replied.
"Do you want to grab some lunch with me?"
Lunch.
Well, that was progress up from a run.
"That sounds nice."
Matthew smiled at her.
"So, I'll text you a time and place and meet you there?" he suggested.
"Sounds good." Mary smiled.
With that, the two went their separate ways.
oOo
On Friday evening, Matthew sat nervously at the bar, his drink almost forgotten about on the countertop as his blue eyes focused on the restaurant doors. It was busy for a Friday night but luckily, he'd had the sense to book a table for two just in case. He wasn't sure if Lavinia would show up tonight to talk, but he hoped that she would and that she had decided on their future.
Finally, he felt a wave of relief as he saw her at the door, pulling it open before she came through it. Her red hair was worn down in loose curls, her make-up minimal and she wore a casual blue dress with short sleeves and black tights with black heels, the dress flowed to her knees and swayed as she walked across the entryway and met him at the bar.
"Hello Matthew." Lavinia greeted nervously.
"Lavinia, you look beautiful." Matthew smiled.
She smiled at him nervously and sat on an empty bar stool next to him. He watched patiently as she ordered a white wine, saying nothing until the bartender had placed the glass in front of her and took her debit card.
"I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure if you would." Matthew admitted.
"I just needed some time to think." Lavinia replied.
"I know."
They took a sip of their drinks and faced each other, both not sure which one should start the conversation that they knew they needed to have. He watched as Lavinia placed her drink back down on the bar, her fingers feeling around the cold edge of it as she took a moment to decide where to begin.
"Lavinia…"
"Matthew, before we get into the stuff about our relationship and our future, I wanted to say that I heard about Patrick's death." She interrupted.
"Oh…"
"My father told me that one of the other partners has made you take a week's bereavement leave. I'm sorry that he died." Lavinia apologised.
"Thank you. It came as a surprise to some of us." Matthew sighed.
Lavinia reached across the bar and squeezed his hand gently. A little sign of support in the wake of his cousin's death. Even if Patrick wasn't his biological cousin, he had grown up with him being referred to one as such, given that Robert was the closest thing Matthew had to an uncle, that honorary uncle title that parents gave to their best friends, as Reginald Crawley did to Robert.
Lavinia took another sip of her wine and looked at him curiously.
"Why didn't you tell me about Patrick when you found out?" Lavinia asked.
Matthew sat back in his seat, rubbing his eyes before he looked at her.
"I didn't want to sway your mind. I wanted to respect your need for space and time." Matthew replied.
"Whilst I appreciate that…your cousin died, Matthew…losing a family member…it would've been okay to call me." Lavinia stated.
Matthew gave her a small smile and reached across the table for her hand. He saw a tiny flash of hesitation across her eyes before she reciprocated and held his hand in hers, giving a light squeeze.
"Do you need more time to think?" Matthew asked.
"I've had time. I just want to talk now." Lavinia replied.
"Of course."
Lavinia shifted in her seat nervously and cleared her throat, using her free hand to bring her glass of water to her lips and sipped. As she put the glass back down on the table, her eyes locked with his.
"Matthew…I love you…I think I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you…you taught me how it was to be treated in a relationship. You have always thought about my needs, what would make me happy…and when you proposed I knew that I would happily spend the rest of my life with you…" she began.
"But?" Matthew prompted.
"But…I wonder if you're still pining for Mary and not ready for us to start that chapter of our lives…" Lavinia finished.
Matthew nodded stiffly and took a deep breath.
"Lavinia…I'm sorry for not telling you the entire truth about my history with Mary…" he sighed.
"I understand why you didn't. It must have been painful for you to go through."
Matthew gave her a small smile of surprise. Here she was, having had weeks of time to think about their future and instead of arguing with him about his omission, she was sat across from him being very understanding and mature. He hadn't been expecting her to be so accepting. He wasn't sure what to expect, to be honest. He knew that Lavinia wasn't the type of person to hold a grudge or be bitter towards people. But he knew that she had been hurt when he hadn't told her long ago about his proposal to Mary.
"It was painful," Matthew agreed, "But Mary and I have moved on from that part of our past. We're rebuilding our friendship and focusing on our futures separately. She is starting a relationship with Tony Foyle, and I want to start my future with you."
Lavinia nodded.
"I want nothing more than to marry you, but I have concerns about your relationship with Mary." She said quietly.
"Are you asking me to have nothing to do with her?" Matthew asked.
"No. I would never give you that ultimatum. I like Mary, she was nice to me when I first met her, and I want us all to be friends…but I'm worried that you haven't completely moved on from your past." Lavinia replied.
"Lavinia, you brought light back to my life after three years of hurt. I want to marry you and make you as happy as you make me. There is nothing between Mary and I anymore." Matthew stated.
"Just promise me one thing, Matthew."
"Anything."
"If…if you and Mary…still love each other…don't hide it…just be honest with me. I can't say that I won't be hurt if it ever came to that…" Lavinia muttered.
"You don't need to worry about-"
"Promise me, Matthew. I don't want to be a nuisance."
Matthew nodded and leaned across the gap between them and kissed her lightly. His face lighting up happily as it seemed that Lavinia was willing to go ahead with their wedding. He knew that she was worried, but her worries would come to nothing. After all, his conflictions over Mary were the result of their past and that door was firmly closed now. It was time to focus on the future and commit to Lavinia, to live up to his promises to build a happy life with her.
oOo
Come the weekend, Mary was back at Downton to attend the thirtieth wedding anniversary celebrations for Tony's parents. The great hall had been set up with chairs and small tables lining the walls and the middle section set up for dancing. A small band and singer were set up in a spacious far corner and the dining room set up for a buffet and eating. The only people that were staying were Tony, his parents and Tony's PA.
As Mary looked around to ensure everything was set up before the guests arrived for the party, she heard her name being called and turned around, being greeted by Tony's PA.
"Lady Mary, Mr. Foyle wanted to check that you were staying-"
"Of course…um… sorry I've forgotten your name…" Mary apologised.
The man smiled.
"It's Alex. Alex Green."
"Right. May I call you Alex?"
"Of course. Mr. Foyle wanted me to check that you would be staying for the party as his guest." Alex stated.
Mary smiled.
"You can relay my thanks and assurances to Tony that I will be staying."
Alex nodded his head and left. Mary took one last glance and then headed to the staircase where Tony and his parents were descending to the great hall.
"Mary, the place looks amazing!" Tony praised.
"You chose the décor, I simply put it into practice." Mary smiled.
"Well, I appreciate it all the same."
Tony introduced his parents again, who she hadn't seen for the same length of time as their son and then she headed to a corner where her parents were stood.
"It was nice of Tony to include us in his invitations." Cora said with a smile.
"Yes, he's a nice man." Mary mused.
"It was even more nice of him to extend an invitation to Isobel, Matthew and Lavinia." Edith commented.
"Tony said it would be nice to see some old faces. We did all play together as children." Mary pointed out.
Edith smiled amusingly, moving to stand closer to Mary. As Mary kept her eyes straight at the doors, noting that Matthew had just arrived with Lavinia on his arm, she felt Edith lean closer to her.
"Or is it to finally see that things between you and Matthew are over for good?" Edith whispered.
"It is," Mary muttered, "Lavinia and Matthew are getting married."
"And you're going to let them be happy? You aren't going to sabotage them?"
Mary looked at her sister with a glare.
"Why would I do that?" she hissed.
"To stake your claim. To recover what is yours." Edith whispered.
Mary rolled her eyes and the guests started to pile into the great hall, with the band starting to play and the singer starting to sing. Various little groups of people were dancing, with Mary joining in with Tony and her sisters. She even pulled Lavinia into the group and watched as the red head nervously joined in until she felt more comfortable to relax. Mary smiled at her reassuringly, trying to speak the unspoken words that Lavinia had nothing to fear from her.
At least she knew she was trying to have good intentions to let Matthew move on with his life.
As one song finished and the band announced that they were taking a ten-minute break, most of the guests were starting to pile into the dining room for food and drink. Mary scanned the crowd for Tony, having not seen him for a while and eventually her eyes settled on him having a rather tense conversation with a brunette in the corner.
She crossed the great hall and stood near to Tony, but he hadn't yet noticed her nearby.
"I don't understand why Tony-"
"Mabel, accept it's over and move on."
"But-"
"This conversation is over." Tony stated firmly.
As Tony turned around, his facial expression changed from frustration to surprise. He quickly smiled at her and offered her his arm and she looped hers through it, looking quizzically back at the brunette and then at Tony.
"Is everything okay?" Mary asked.
"It will be. I wasn't expecting Mabel to show up tonight." Tony sighed.
"An ex?"
Tony shrugged.
"We weren't ever official. Mabel is beautiful, young, clever. She can tell a good joke and she can show you a good time…but we want different things…" he explained.
"Ah."
They went into the dining room and grabbed some food, sitting at a tiny table next to Matthew and Lavinia.
"So…you're the mysterious man that Mary has mentioned?" Lavinia asked curiously.
Mary felt her cheeks redden as she met Matthew's gaze before she looked at Tony.
"I suppose so. Why, what have you heard?" Tony countered with a smile.
Lavinia laughed and told him that she had been told it was early days, but then she teasingly joked that they were together by the time her wedding came around.
"When is the big day?" Tony asked.
"We haven't set a firm date yet. But we're thinking in April or May." Lavinia replied.
Mary felt her heart sink as she took a bite out of a sausage roll and swallowed. She looked away from the group and met her grandmother's stare, who just so happened to be a few feet away. She watched as Violet walked over to them with a blank expression on her face. Sometimes, Mary found it hard to read her grandmother.
"I wouldn't get married in May, dear." Violet interrupted.
"Why not?" Lavinia queried.
"Marry in May, rue the day. But if you want an unlucky marriage, it'll be on your shoulders to bear." Violet answered.
Matthew chuckled.
"Cousin Violet, surely you know it's an old-fashioned superstition?" he stated.
Mary watched as her grandmother bent her head to Matthew's ear to whisper something that the others couldn't hear. From the panicked expression on Matthew's face and the way he looked over at her with what seemed to be a thousand questions running through his mind that he wanted answered, she knew that it wasn't good.
Mary finished her plate and excused herself, feeling the need for fresh air. She walked through the crowd and stepped outside into the cold night air. She wrapped her arms around herself and took some deep breaths.
What had Granny said to Matthew which made him look at her so terrified?
She knew that if she asked her grandmother, Violet would be secretive or dismissive. Then she wondered if she should ask Matthew what had been said but if she did…would it open a can of worms?
Would it ruin a nice evening?
She didn't know.
She didn't know what she wanted or what she had to do to get on with her life. It wasn't for lack of trying. She was trying to move on from her conflicted feelings of memories she shared with Matthew. She was trying to be sincerely happy for Matthew and Lavinia, trying to let them be happy and build a life together. She was trying to be friends as much as it hurt sometimes.
Hearing footsteps behind her on the gravel, she turned around and saw her youngest sister stood behind her.
"The band are getting back together in a minute. Tony will be looking for you." Sybil said warmly.
"I'll be there in a minute." Mary smiled.
Sybil crossed the distance between them and placed an arm around her shoulder, both turning to look out at the pitch-black grounds, lit up with only solar powered lawn lights.
"Are you alright, darling?" Sybil asked.
"I am. I just needed some air." Mary replied.
Sybil rested her head against hers.
"It feels like I don't see enough of you." Her sister admitted.
"You're in York for university, darling. I'm in London. Of course, it's difficult to see each other in person." Mary said.
"I know."
"So…are you seeing anyone?" Mary asked.
Sybil laughed lightly and nodded her head.
"I am. It's still early, we're not ready to be introduced to each other's families yet…but I like him…"
"What's his name?"
"Tom. Tom Branson." Sybil sighed happily.
Mary squeezed her sister's shoulder tightly.
"I'm glad you're happy, Syb."
They heard the music start to play inside once again and they headed back inside together to join the dancing. The music upbeat, from the 80's and the 90's. Everyone cheered, danced, whooped, enjoying themselves. Until the band stopped playing the upbeat, familiar tunes and the singer cleared their throat and smiled.
"We would now like to play a song at the request of Viscount Gillingham that has special meaning to him and his wife. He requests that those of you who wish to dance to it too, join in."
The band began to play a slow of melody, the intro so musical and almost soulful as Mary watched Tony's parents lean together and began to dance. She watched as everyone else in the room observe the sight of Tony's parents dancing together, looking at each other so lovingly after thirty years of marriage.
"Fancy a twirl?" Tony whispered.
"Why not." Mary replied with a smile.
Tony held out his hand and she took it, allowing him to lead her into the middle of the great hall, one hand was held out and the other on her waist as she placed one hand in his and the other on his shoulder. Their heads touched to the sides, and she followed Tony's lead as they swayed slowly in pace with the music.
When no-one else can understand me,
When everything I do is wrong,
"Pa sang this song for mummy the night he proposed, and they danced to it at their wedding." Tony whispered in her ear.
"It's lovely." Mary whispered back.
Her eyes scanned the crowd and saw that many other couples had joined the dancing. As Tony twirled them gently around the room, her eyes fell on Matthew who was cuddled up to Lavinia as they swayed together. Their eyes locked on each other, both just focused on the other with everything and everyone else fading into the background.
You give me hope and consolation,
You give me hope to carry on,
And you're always there to lend a hand,
In everything I do
That's the wonder,
The wonder of you,
Matthew smiled at her, and she returned it. His look reminded her of how he used to look at her all those years ago. A look she associated with longing, except it also had a hint of confusion. Confusion about what though?
But she had to be wrong.
He was dancing with his fiancée. The woman who had announced that their wedding was back on. The woman who looked at Matthew so happily, so lovingly that she felt her heart sink every time she saw Matthew look at Lavinia and talk about their future together.
And when you smile the world is brighter,
You touch my hand and I'm a king,
Your kiss to me is worth a fortune,
Your love for me is everything,
"Mary, I know we've only been on a handful of dates, but I want you to know that I want something with you. Something exclusive." Tony whispered in her ear.
Tony. The man who had come back into her life after eleven years apart. The man who had been kind to her, listened to her and took an interest in what she liked to do. The man who had helped her that night in the office after a stressful day of writing emails and processing refunds. The man who held her close and she could feel smiling as his head rested against hers.
"Tony-"
"I don't expect you to give me an answer now. But I'd like you to think about it. I have feelings for you, Mary, and I hope you feel the same way about me." Tony interrupted softly.
And you're always there to lend a hand,
In all I try to do,
That's the wonder,
The wonder of you,
The background singers slowly began to sing the next line as Mary met Matthew's gaze again.
That's the wonder, that's the wonder, that's the wonder of you,
So…Tony wanted a relationship. Exclusivity. He wanted them to have something between them aside from a few dates here and there. Her heart was beating faster in her chest, and she moved her head away from his and looked at him with a genuine smile.
Tony was here, in the present. He cared about her. He liked her. He was kind and considerate. He liked to make her laugh and spend time with her.
But he wasn't Matthew.
Matthew.
The one who got away cliché. The one who was marrying someone else and building a life with someone else.
Someone who could only ever remain her friend.
"I'll think about it." Mary promised, smiling at him.
Tony beamed happily, placing a kiss to her cheek.
I guess I'll never know the reason why,
You love me as you do,
That's the wonder, the wonder of you.
The song finished and the dancing came to a slow stop. The crowd clapped and dispersed from the dance floor. The band announced that the evening was ending, and Tony's parents did the rounds of goodbye to their guests. As Mary went through the crowd to find her parents, she was stopped by Mabel who wore an annoyed expression on her face.
"Mabel, I hope you had a good evening." Mary said politely.
"Do you have to rub it in? If you hadn't come back into Tony's life, we would've been happy." Mabel hissed quietly.
"Careful, green isn't a colour I'd like to see on you." Mary warned.
"Tony and I were happy before you came along." Mabel stated.
"Tony says different. He's told me that you had a casual thing and were never committed."
Mabel glared at her angrily, as if she were trying to shoot daggers out of her eyes. Mary had never realised just how strongly Mabel felt for Tony until now and it was clear from the other woman's perspective that she felt more invested in their relationship than Tony had.
Without saying another word, Mary bade Mabel goodnight and climbed the stairs to her bedroom.
oOo
"FIRE! FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE!"
Mary's eyes shot open as she scrambled out of bed. She switched on her lamp and pulled her dressing gown off the armchair by her bed. As she pulled it on and hurried across the room, she opened her bedroom door and peered down the hallway. Smoke was starting to slowly fill the hallway and appeared to be coming from Patrick's bedroom. She heard shouting from somewhere along the corridor and then saw her parents and sisters rushing out of their bedrooms and down the stairs, covering their faces.
"Everyone out!" Robert called out as loud as he could.
Mary watched Tony and his parents rushed down the stairs and she followed, the fire alarms ringing loudly in their ears as they went. Carson pushed open the front doors and everyone spilled out on to the gravel driveway, coughing and spluttering as smoke began to fill the entrance hall.
"I've called the fire service, My Lord." Mrs Hughes announced, holding up her phone which showed the call had ended.
Within a few minutes everyone could hear the sirens and before they knew it, blue lights flashing hurriedly were rushing up the long driveway until the fire engine pulled up in front of the house. Everyone stood back as the firemen rushed into the house with their hoses to put out the fire.
Mary looked up at the house, smoke filling the windows, becoming such a dark colour of grey to black that she couldn't make anything out. She felt arms around her, rubbing up and down as if trying to make her warm.
"I hope it gets put out quickly." Tony said in her ear.
It wasn't the first time that Downton Abbey had been on fire, when she had been a young girl and her grandfather was still the Earl, the roof had caught fire during a thunderstorm, and she had hoped that it wouldn't happen again during her lifetime. She remembered the roof ablaze, being carried out of the house by her father whilst her mother had Edith in her arms, heavily pregnant with Sybil. It was one of her first memories, how the thunder roared in the sky, the flashes of lightning and the red and orange of the flames on the roof.
She recalled how scared she felt during that time, trying to bury her head in her father's neck so she didn't have to witness the flames and the roof falling in. But her father had placed her on the ground next to her mother before heading over to her grandfather. She tried to hide behind her mother, but Patrick had grasped her hand and told her to look up, his eyes filled with absolute fascination as he watched their home burn.
As the years went on, grandpa died, and her father became the Earl. The roof was repaired after a lot of fundraising and dipping into the estate's funds. It was since that night twenty years ago that Mary got the first sight that something was wrong with her cousin.
At least Patrick isn't here to witness the fire this time.
She thought to herself.
As she had been recalling of the roof fire from childhood, the firemen were coming out of the house, announcing that they had managed to get the fire under control quite quickly, but nobody would be safe to remain at the house for the night.
"The fire has been put out," Robert announced, "But the firemen don't want us back in until the house has been assessed for safety reasons. Carson, could you please arrange a few of the cottages on the grounds for us tonight?"
Carson acknowledged the request and rounded up some of the staff members who had room and board at the house to start preparing some cottages for everyone to stay in. Mary looked at Tony and smiled apologetically.
"I'm sorry that your overnight stay got interrupted." She said quietly.
"Don't apologise, it isn't your fault." Tony replied.
"It's the last thing you'd expect to happen after your event though." Mary pointed out.
"Let's just be grateful that we all got out of it alive and well."
They chatted a little more until Carson announced a few minutes later that the cottages were ready. The group walked together across the dark grounds, torches that the staff had gathered from a shed in the grounds lighting their way as Robert stayed behind to speak more with the firemen. Mary walked beside Tony and his parents, too tired to talk or muse about what caused the fire. When they reached the cottages, Carson showed Tony, his parents and PA to one cottage, the second to the staff that had room and board at the house, and the third to Mary and her family.
She followed her mother, grandmother, and sisters inside. Edith was in the kitchen making everyone a hot chocolate when Mary closed the door behind her.
"It seems to be one thing after another lately." Cora sighed.
"We'll carry on as we usually do." Violet stated tiredly.
"I wonder how it started," Sybil added, "It seemed to be coming out of Patrick's bedroom and that hasn't been occupied for a while now."
As the room went silent, Robert opened the front door of the cottage and stepped inside, locking the door behind him.
"How bad is it?" Cora asked.
Robert sighed heavily.
"The inspector will be back tomorrow morning to do a more detailed inspection. But the fire was contained to Patrick's bedroom, the fire had been set in the fireplace and it was evident that someone had started it deliberately. Given that the bedroom has remained unoccupied for weeks and believes that was malicious intent." Robert explained.
Mary frowned.
Who would want to go into her dead cousin's bedroom, start a fire in the fireplace with the intent of it getting out of hand?
"Who would want to do that?" Edith asked.
"I don't know. But I think it's best that we all head to bed. The cottage only has four bedrooms so two of you will have share." Robert stated.
"I don't mind sharing." Sybil said softly.
"I'll share with you." Mary offered.
"Why would anyone want to burn down an unoccupied room?" Edith mused.
It was certainly a question that Mary would ask herself as the weeks ahead would go by.