Finding a firebending teacher wouldn't be as easy as it was in the Spirit Quest. Unfortunately, there were no Royal Sons wandering around unaccounted for, so he couldn't just stumble upon a firebending master who happened to be against the war. The people of the Fire Nation were raised believing in the absolute authority of the Fire Lord. Even the majority of the Fire Sages were loyal to the Fire Lord before the Avatar. However, there was one organization that transcended all loyalties and allegiances, one organization that was more concerned with the good of the world than the good of one Nation. The Order of the White Lotus.

The Order found the one family that would be more loyal to him than to the Fire Lord. Aang had known that Zuko was Roku's great-grandson, but what he hadn't put together was that that meant that at least one descendant of Roku had to be alive currently. The Order had smuggled them out of the Fire Nation when the tensions before the war had gotten too high. Even knowing that he would be learning firebending from Roku's descendants didn't prepare him for the shock he felt when he saw that Kuzon would be teaching him.

It made sense, when he thought about it, that his friend in the Fire Nation was Roku's son(1). The monks had probably suspected that he was the Avatar ever since he was born. It was logical that they would make sure he associated with future kings and nobles of high birth (he doubted that it was purely coincidence that Roku and Sozin had been best friends). Although he felt a little betrayed that his mentors had been manipulating his friendships ever since he was little, Aang was glad that his friend had survived. The other boy was four years older than him, and a one of the best firebenders that Aang had ever met. Zuko had been a good firebender, but he was young – only a year older than Aang's current fifteen – and so lost.

They were on an island west of where the Sun Warriors resided. Although the Fire Nation's main landmass was the archipelago around the equator, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of small volcanic islands that were forgotten by time. The island they would live on to train Aang's firebending was too small and rocky to grow much more food than a single family needed to support itself, and too out of the way to support trade. Aang doubted that many people knew that it even existed. It was perfect. Kuzon regretted that he would have to teach him about Fire Nation culture second hand, but Aang didn't mind. They still had small patches of firelilies and there was a little pond populated with turtle-ducks.

It was kind of boring because they lived alone on the island, and all the had to do was play Pai Sho and practice firebending, but eventually Aang talked Kuzon into going into a village and watching a play. Kuzon had been teaching him that the Fire Nation was the land of passion and fire, and that their theater and poetry was unmatched. He had only managed to convince his Sifu that he didn't think Fire Nation plays could match the ones he had seen in the Earth Kingdom (it wasn't exactly a lie, considering the one play he had seen by the Fire Nation Players in his Spirit Quest), and the older boy was dragging him to a more populated village to "experience culture."

Aang had no doubt that Kuzon was against the war. He even went so far as to curse Sozin's name, an act of almost unmatchable blasphemy. The firebender was training him to defeat the Fire Nation, after all. Despite that, Aang didn't think that he had ever met anyone as nationalistic as Kuzon. The boy was constantly preaching how the Fire Nation didn't discriminate against women, and that there had been numerous female Fire Lords in the past (the term wasn't gender specific, apparently). He could wax on for hours about his Nation's music and art, not to mention the beauty of the people and flora. Kuzon had even admitted that he thought the rest of the world should experience their culture, but he didn't think that war was the way to go about it.

The play had been beautiful. It was about a man who fell in love with a princess. In order for their love to be acceptable, he joined the army and worked his way from nothing until he became a General, and eventually earned a noble title. By the time he had achieved this, though, his love had married another man. The princess had forgotten him, and the woman's lover was a kind and gentle man, but a man of high stature and thus many enemies. Throughout the play, the hero tried to gain the attentions of the princess, and failed every time. At the end, an assassin tried to murder the princess' husband, and the hero threw himself in front of the poisoned dagger, saving his rival's life. As he died in the princess' arms, he said that he knew the prince was what made her happy, and so he was glad to die to save someone that he hated, simply because she loved him. Aang felt tears in his eyes when the curtains closed. The story was amazing but the acting had been phenomenal. Kuzon smugly proclaimed that they would go out once a week and see more culture.

Aang remembered the parody of a play that he had seen when he and his friends were hiding in the Fire Nation in the Quest. It had been nothing like what he had seen. He wondered if that had simply been a bad performance, but the audience had seemed like they loved it. Aang wondered if the Fire Nation had actually lost the greatest part of their culture in a war designed to spread it. Could true art survive in a hundred years of dictatorship and war? How many of the Fire Nation's greatest artists had died in a war they were drafted into?

Unbidden, he found himself falling in love with the Fire Nation. He loved the art, the music, the passion of the land. He didn't find a Nation full of bloodthirsty tyrants, but rather normal people who loved living more than any other group of people he had ever encountered. For the most part, the citizens hadn't been affected by the war yet. Sozin had had years to build up his armies, and the war hadn't dragged on long enough for him to need to draft ordinary citizens. The only difference they noticed was the increased taxes, which Aang could hear people muttering about.

He and Kuzon were in a bar (apparently one couldn't experience the culture of a land without experiencing its bars), and Aang was reluctantly sipping at a glass of wine. He admitted that the Fire Nation did have fantastic wines. To their left a particularly loud drunk was bemoaning his misfortune.

"What am I going to do? The Fire Lord put his faith in me, you know?"

They didn't know, but the drunk didn't seem to care.

"Have to hunt down those airbending scum, I do."

Aang's head snapped around, and suddenly the drunk had his full attention. Kuzon tugged nervously at his elbow. His mentor wanted to leave, but Aang needed to hear what this man had to say about his people.

"Only three this year." It was spring. "Fire Lord won't be happy… but how are we supposed to catch them, what with the arrows and the swirling…"

Aang was shaking with fury, and he nearly struck out at the man, but Kuzon bodily yanked him out of the bar. When they were on their small boat sailing (more due to Aang's airbending than any natural wind) back to their small island, he spoke up.

"I know that it must be hard on you to think about your people dying, but isn't it a good thing that so few of them are being captured?" Kuzon said hesitantly.

"Good thing… good thing?" Aang exploded. "The Fire Nation isn't getting worse at killing my people; my people are getting better at killing the Fire Nation!"

He had heard rumors, of course, but he hadn't believed them. Eventually the younger airbenders had gotten fed up with just running and hiding while they were being slaughtered ruthlessly, and they had taken up the bow and arrow. An airbender with a bow was a frightening thing; they could use the wind to make the arrow go faster, and even change its direction. Not to mention the fact that they could fly through the air and fire from any direction. There was literally no place safe from their arrows except within a tank. That had been the least of their transgressions though. There had also been rumors of a secret technique known only by the Air Nomad Elders.

Whenever Aang saw empty space, he assumed that it was full of air. Apparently someone long ago had wondered what would happen if you removed the air from empty space. Using airbending, you could swirl the air around an object, and eventually create a void inside the sphere of spiraling air where there was nothing. The rumors called this void a vacuum. The vacuum didn't destroy objects, or make them explode, but when a person was inside of one, they couldn't breathe. They would slowly but surely suffocate to death, and firebenders were especially susceptible to it. Firebending relied on the breath, and if you couldn't breathe you couldn't firebend. Aang had tried it once. Air wanted to fill all gaps and spaces, so it was hard to convince it to do otherwise- hard, but not impossible. Supposedly the Elders were supposed to die rather than reveal the technique, due to its destructive effects, but someone had let it leak (Aang couldn't help but think of Elder Tashi).

"My people," Aang began again, "Are a peaceful people. We believe in nonviolence as a way to preserve the spirit. We don't even eat meat!" Aang clenched his fists so hard that they hurt. "Now they're taking up weapons. They're using airbending to kill!"

Airbending was (had been) the perfect bending art for the Air Nomads. It was designed around circular motions; an airbender would flow around their enemy's attacks. Trying to hit an airbender would be like trying to hit the air itself. Airbending attacks didn't hurt the opponent either. They were designed to knock down opponents and exhaust them. Airbenders conserved their energy and could fight for hours without tiring. They would wear out their enemy until they were too tired to fight anymore, and resolve the conflict peacefully. And if a peaceful resolution was impossible, then airbending was also perfect for fleeing. For a people dedicated to nonviolence, there could be no better fighting style. That there was a form used only to kill went against everything he had ever learned.

"You don't understand," Aang said finally. "My people might not actually be dying, but they might as well be. They're destroying themselves more effectively than the Fire Lord ever could. By abandoning our customs they're losing what it is that makes them airbenders."

"But Aang," Kuzon said, "It's not all bad. When the war is over, you can forbid them from using weapons or that technique. Eventually the world will forget about them. At least they'll be alive for you to order around."

Aang knew it wouldn't be that simple. Not everyone would just forget, and as long as one person remembered and taught other people how to kill with airbending, the world would never be safe. Aang wondered if he would be able to do what it takes to keep the world safe. To his dismay, he thought that he could. He had already sacrificed so many of his principles to become an Avatar that would keep the world in balance. He didn't know where he would end up drawing the line between "an Air Nomad Avatar" and "an Avatar." He wondered if Yangchen had ever thought the same thing.

Regardless, he threw himself into his firebending training. As soon as he mastered firebending, he could end the war, and preserve what was left of his people's culture. He felt cold inside when he realized that he would rather kill the Fire Lord and eschew his morals than let his people abandon theirs. It was ironic that in the end, mastering lightning was the easiest part of learning firebending. He had thought that he was too conflicted emotionally to learn the cold blooded fire, but as an airbender he had learned to ignore his emotions and distance himself from the world. Lightning, a technique only useful to kill and damage, was almost like airbending. Even the circular movements of lightning generation were similar to airbending.

It was his sixteenth birthday when Kuzon told him he had nothing more to learn.

Aang thought that shaving his head and dressing like an airbender would make him feel less conflicted. He had let his hair grow out while he was training to help disguise who he was, and he had had to cut it short before shaving it. He had also had to find new clothes, because he was much taller than he had been when he was twelve. In the end, although he certainly looked the part of an Air Nomad, he didn't feel like one. His guilt was weighing him down in a way that it never had before he knew of his destiny.

He and Kuzon were landing in Omashu. It had been a week since his sixteenth birthday and they were going to a war meeting. The war had entered a tense ceasefire since his birthday. Fire Lord Sozin was waiting for a proclamation of who he was before he proceeded. Aang knew that the man was wondering whether to continue his fruitless assault on the Earth Kingdom and Air Nomads or center his efforts on the Water Tribes. When Appa touched down, they were quickly escorted into the war room.

They interrupted something, but as soon as he entered all eyes were on him. He was a teenaged Air Nomad travelling with a Fire Nation man. The conclusion was easy to reach. A tense silence permeated the room. There were some, like Ahnah, Gyatso, and Bumi, who knew who he was, but others did not. No one was introducing him. Aang could tell that they were waiting for him to speak. It might have only been in a Spirit Quest, but he had stared down kings and conquered empires. He refused to be nervous.

"I am Avatar Aang."

The silence was shattered. Everyone was talking all at once, trying to shake his hand, or get his attention. Eventually King Bao called for silence, and everyone settled down. Aang sat next to Gyatso, who smiled at him fondly. A man, an astronomer apparently, was talking.

"Ahem, this summer there will be a full solar eclipse over the Fire Nation. We believe that the firebenders will lose their powers during the eclipse. It is quite fortunate that Avatar Aang has completed his training, because we will not get this opportunity again. Complete solar eclipses only occur in the same location once every three or four hundred years."

That surprised Aang. He wondered if the eclipse in the Spirit Quest was an exemption to the rule, or if the Avatar Spirit just bent the rules to fit his Quest. After that, they made plans to reveal Aang's existence as a fully realized Avatar and demand the immediate surrender of the Fire Nation. If the Fire Nation didn't surrender, they would use the eclipse to attack the Fire Nation capital. Aang hoped it wouldn't go as terribly as in his dream. At least they didn't have air ships this time.

The meeting was adjourned, and would be reconvened the next day after the strategists had drawn up battle plans to be reviewed. Many people tried to get Aang's attention, but the Elders drew him aside. When they were alone, Gyatso presented him with a necklace. He recognized it- it was the necklace that was worn by Air Nomad Elders… and by Air Nomad Avatars. Aang allowed his mentor to put the adornment on his neck, but he felt out of place.

"Can I… Can I speak to Gyatso alone?" Aang asked. The other Elders (Aang noticed that a few were missing) smiled, but left them. "Gyatso," he said. The word was thick with emotion, and the older man drew him into a hug. Aang noticed that he was nearly as tall as his friend.

"What's wrong Aang?" Gyatso asked gently. Gyatso released him from the embrace, but kept his hands on Aang's shoulders.

"I… I don't really feel like an airbender anymore."

"Ah," Gyatso hummed, eyes lighting up in understanding. "You've been forced to eat meat and accept worldly possessions. You're afraid that soon you will even be forced to take a life."

"Yes!" Aang cried emphatically. "How can I wear this necklace when I'm not really even an Air Nomad anymore?"

"You're the Avatar, and as such you are of all the Nations. You must learn to balance yourself and your duties."

"That's just it! I don't know how I can be an Air Nomad and the Avatar. I don't want to end up like Yangchen. I mean, she was an incredible Avatar and she brought an era of peace to the world, but she's so sad. I can tell that what she had to do in order to keep the world safe weighs on her even now. She sacrificed her spiritual wellbeing for the sake of the world. Can't I help the world without hurting myself?"

Gyatso closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "As the Avatar, you will have to do things that you don't want to do. You may even have to take lives. However, that doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice your spiritual needs. Avatar Yangchen was very successful as an Avatar, but you're right. She allowed herself to be weighed down by her negative emotions. But remember, Aang, that our Way teaches many things, but forgiveness above all. It's not easy, but you must learn to forgive."

"You mean I have to forgive the Fire Nation for what they've done to us? That I have to forgive the renegade Air Nomads for throwing aside the principles their brothers and sisters died for?"

Gyatso made a humming sound and laid his hands gently on Aang's shoulders. "Yes, that too. What I meant though, was that you have to learn to forgive yourself."

Aang looked down, unable to meet Gyatso's eyes. "It's not that easy," he mumbled bitterly.

"No, it's not," his mentor agreed. "But remember that you are a Son of the Winds. You are the Avatar, and thus of all nations, but you were born to us. We will always love you and accept you as our own. You are an Air Nomad, whether you feel like one or not, and you will always be an Air Nomad. Our arms will always be open to you, and we will always provide you the guidance and support that you need."

Gyatso paused, and lifted Aang's chin so that their eyes met. "All you have to do is forgive yourself enough to accept it."

The elder man smiled at the teen, and Aang closed his eyes, biting his lower lip. There was so much ahead of him. He had to defeat the Fire Nation, but keep the other nations from taking revenge on them. He had to reunite the airbenders, and restore them to their peaceful ways. There was also the matter of refugees from the Earth Kingdom, and any damage done to the infrastructure of cities and towns. Aang didn't think that he could deal with all of that without compromising himself or his values.

Suddenly the world flashed blue, and Aang heard a whisper in the back of his mind. "You're not alone, young Avatar."

Images flew by in front of him, too fast for him to really see them, and yet he understood. The lives of hundreds of airbenders flashed in front of his eyes, men and women who did whatever it took to keep the world in balance, and yet still lived moral lives. It was possible to be an airbender and the Avatar, and he had done it before- so many times.

"Nothing is harder to do than forgiving yourself, but Aang I've seen you do incredible things, and I know that you can do it."

Aang reached his hands up and touched the necklace signaling his mastery of the elements. He swallowed, breathing past the knot in his throat, and smiled. "Yeah, thanks Gyatso. I think you're right."