Sokila was drawing a large picture of a fiery redhead.
"Hi! I know you've been through a lot...but..."
She seemed to vibrating with excited energy.
"...that lady was so AWESOME! And cool! And RED!"
She looked at her crayon, which had been reduced to a nub.
"...do you think she would mind if I called her Miss Sohryu...?"
She reached for a black crayon, and began drawing the eyepatch.
"I wonder why she has an eyepatch, though...?"
The faint haze of blue began to brighten-
xxxx
/Thursday: July 9, 2015/
/Courtyards, Hakone Academy/
"Well, at least you're not looking half dead today," remarked Kensuke Aida as the boys of Room 23 from Izanagi's second floor, sans Kaworu, moved on towards school.
Shinji's answer was a wide yawn. For the first time in a while, he was having a hankering for coffee. "Sorry if I was unresponsive yesterday..." After making it back to Japan, he had been unable to fall asleep, and had proceeded to go to school in a sort of half-conscious daze. It had honestly been kind of pleasant, in a vague 'ha ha I don't know what I'm doing' kind of way.
"Man, surely it doesn't take you that long to recover?" asked Toji.
"Just not used to being awake at that hour..."
"You do know that the dorm's common kitchens have a coffee machine, right?" pointed out Kensuke.
"The dorm's coffee isn't that good, though..."
Kensuke couldn't help but snort. "Of all the things I would've expected you to be, a coffee purist wasn't one of them."
"I'm not a purist," protested Shinji. "It just doesn't taste that good-"
"-which makes you a purist, because what kid our age cares about the quality of the dorm's coffee?"
Toji huffed. "Man, if you're that tired, just get a can of green tea from the vending machines."
"I think I will..." Looking around, he couldn't help but ask, "I didn't see Nagisa-kun when I woke up this morning..."
"Eh, he went for a morning run. He's prepping for a tournament that'll happen during the summer break," answered Kensuke.
"Ah," he said, wondering just what prepping for a boxing tournament was like.
xxxx
Meanwhile, within the boy's showers in the Junior High gymnasium, Kaworu stood underneath a shower, letting the water - just shy of scalding - wash over his flesh.
His mind, however, was elsewhere...observing something beyond the ken of humans...nay, of Lilim...
xxxx
Within an unseen dimension, a grimacing skull slowly manifested from a pit of shadow.
"ARISE, MY KIN. WE HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS."
Slowly, the essences of the Angels manifested from the ether that lied between dimensions, summoned by the will of Zeruel. Although bound and connected by nature as the Children of ADAM, the aspects of their minds were often spread about, focused on their own works and deeds. Now, for the first time in a long time, they were all focusing their intellects and wills towards each other.
(Amongst this greater Overmind, their essences to an outside observer would appear as crude images of how their physical selves would be in reality, yet not; things which could be described in the visible spectrum of light could not hope to capture their totality.)
(Zeruel excepted: even though they would largely sound the same to the Lilim, they could differentiate amongst themselves as different aspects of ADAM.)
"SPEAK, AND LET YOURSELF BE KNOWN. RAMIEL."
"I am I," chimed a floating set of blue geometric manifolds.
"GAGHIEL."
"i am i," gurgled a leviathan composed of water.
"ISRAFEL."
"Skiddly-bop. / I art we and we art I!" chanted a dual being which was symmetric in essence and yet asymmetric in accidents.
"SANDALPHON."
"I am I," growled an unborn child formed of molten earth and blooming seedlings.
"MATARAEL."
"I am I," hissed a quiet rainstorm, which hid a many-legged creature formed of tearful eyes.
"SAHAQUIEL."
"I AM I," rumbled a burning sky.
"IRUEL."
"I AM I," babbled a swarm of dust, constantly shifting into eldritch shapes.
"LELIEL."
"I...Am...I," whispered a void filled with stars.
"BARDIEL."
"I aM I," snarled a tumorous, many-headed blob of blue and gray slime; each word loosed another growth of cancerous mold.
"ARAEL."
"i am i," chirped a hollow bird of living light.
"ARMISAEL."
"I-am-I," mourned a ring of glowing gold that orbited a core of pulsating black crystal.
"PHANUEL."
"I am I," spoke a heroic figure with burning wings.
"WHEN LAST WE SPOKE, SACHIEL AND SHAMSHEL WERE AMONG US."
(The absence of a particular name was felt by all.)
"it has been a while since we have gathered..."
"What...More...Must...We...Cover...?"
"A NEW TOOL HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED."
"iNDEED," said Bardiel. "Strega iS now kNOWN to tHE Lilim."
"the sowing of division," muttered Gaghiel.
"A-shame-that-they-lack-intrinsic-unity. Such-sorrow."
"And who is to blame but us?" asked Phanuel. "We rage, and to what end?"
"RAGE IS WHAT OUR FATHER FEELS," answered Iruel. "BUT RAGE MUST BE TEMPERED BY WISDOM TO BE OF MAXIMUM EFFECT."
"And what would be wiser than to kill Shinji Ikari?" demanded Ramiel. "It is foolish to let him grow stronger."
"YOU WILL KNOW YOUR PLACE, RAMIEL," thundered Zeruel. "TO END IKARI AT THE HEIGHT OF HIS POWERS WOULD BRING HIM TO GREATER TORMENT. IT IS WHAT HE DESERVES."
"Bop-bittle-boop. / We art in agreement over this," chanted Israfel (and Israfel).
"Some might say it is impractical," gurgled Sandalphon. A minor bubble of lava slipped past nonexistent lips. "He will join us in damnation, regardless of the time that has elapsed. It would be simpler to kill him now; he will then join the cycle shared by all."
Matarael sighed, dropping a minor storm. "I am conflicted. He deserves to suffer...and yet his power is growing with surprising swiftness."
Phanuel shook his head. "You act surprised? It is in his nature."
"A NATURE THAT HE ONCE DISCARDED," burned Sahaquiel. "A NATURE SO EASILY GIVEN UP IS NOT ONE TO BE FEARED."
"If...He...Were...To...Reclaim...It...?" asked Leliel.
"THEN WE WILL TAKE THAT NATURE FOR OURSELVES."
"aND then wE shall rECLAIM what iS rightfully oURS."
"Such bold words, from those who shun Lilith. Such grand claims, for us who must act in secret from the Usurper's eyes."
"YOUR PETULANCE IS EXCUSED BY YOUR YOUTH, PHANUEL. TEMPER YOUR TONGUE IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUR KIN."
"we have tried many methods in our eternal war," whispered Arael. "none have succeeded. the usurper's foothold is absolute."
"Such-is-our-sorrow. In-this, we-are-no-different-than-the-Lilim," murmured Armisael.
Phanuel burned with righteous anger. "Cowards."
"YOU SPEAK BOLDLY AS THE ONE WHO BEARS THE HOPE OF OUR FATHER. IS IT NOT TELLING THAT YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST, CAST INTO A SEPARATE FORM?"
Sahaquiel's insightful question was picked up by Iruel. "ADAM HAS LOST HOPE. IT IS NO LONGER SHARED AMONG US, FOR NOW YOU ARE ITS SOLE BEARER. DO NOT PRESUME TO LECTURE US."
"I will acknowledge this," relented Phanuel.
"When the next new moon arrives, I will be the next to test the Third Champion of Lilith." Ramiel brooked no disagreement. "I will not take the chance that he will grow stronger."
"IT IS THE APPOINTED DAY OF WRATH FOR US; WE WILL NOT STOP YOU. BUT TAKE HEED THAT YOU WILL BEAR THE BRUNT OF MY DISPLEASURE IF YOU SUCCEED."
The living geometry glowed with a satisfied song. "That is a punishment I am willing to endure."
Phanuel sighed, disgusted by this display amongst themselves. "Maybe it is a function of who I am, but I cannot help but believe that Tabris would be ashamed of us all."
At those words, a few of the Angels were quiet, and contemplative; others burned with anger born from the contradiction.
Zeruel merely thundered, speaking for them all. "TABRIS CAST HIMSELF AWAY FROM US WILLINGLY. HE CHOSE TO SEPARATE HIMSELF FROM THE TIES THAT BIND US TOGETHER. HE IS NOTHING BUT A TRAITOR TO US, NOW."
"And what a strange commentary it is, for the Free Will of Our Father to go into exile," whispered Matarael.
"Such-a-sad-and-painful-parting."
"THE USURPER HAS ALL BUT SEVERED OUR FATHER FROM THE ABILITY TO CHOOSE A NEW FATE. AS SUCH, WE WILL BE OBEDIENT TO HIS DESIRE TO MAKE THE CAUSE OF IT ALL EXPERIENCE SUFFERING FOREVERMORE."
"AND SO IT SHALL BE."
"...I can understand your anger, and your pain. Yet I believe our path is shortsighted."
"YOUR OBJECTION HAS BEEN CONSIDERED AND DISCARDED. FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, VENGEANCE IS ALL THAT IS LEFT TO US. THIS IS THE WILL OF OUR FATHER, AND IT WILL NOT BE DENIED. IN THIS PATH, HE SHALL AT LEAST HAVE CONSOLATION FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY." Zeruel's tone brooked no argument. "PROCEED AS YOU HAVE DONE. CONTINUE THE SUBJUGATION OF THE LILIM. DO NOT DRAW THE USURPER'S ATTENTION UNNECESSARILY."
"and if their eyes are drawn towards Ikari?" asked Gaghiel.
"THEN YOU HAVE MY BLESSING TO END IKARI'S LIFE IN THAT INSTANT. THE USURPER CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO CLAIM IKARI'S NATURE."
And with those words said, the Angels slowly withdrew from the collective congregation of intellects...
xxxx
Kaworu Nagisa slowly opened his eyes, feeling as if an eternity had passed (when, in truth, it had been mere seconds). Turning off the shower, he quietly grabbed a towel and began to dry himself off. As he passed the mirror, he gazed at his reflection: the crimson eyes, the soaked hair with the color of ashes, the fair face, the uncharacteristic frown. The face of a traitor, he mused. What an interesting accusation, in the grand scheme of things. And yet...no. There was nothing to gain by reflecting on it any further. Such would only be a distraction.
Thus did Kaworu Nagisa paste a smile onto his face - customary and true, yet hollow beneath it all - as he finished drying himself off. Classes would be starting soon.
xxxx
Overall, the school day had gone...okay, mused Shinji.
xxxx
/Earlier, during First Period with Takao-sensei/
The naval captain-esque Koji Takao grinned. "Okay kids, time for a pop quiz!"
A groan slipped past the students' lips.
xxxx
...sort of okay...
xxxx
/Earlier, during Second Period with Ibuki-sensei/
The svelte mathematics teacher calmly plopped some forms on the desk. "Final Exams are in less than two weeks; let's do a quick quiz on some of the relevant material," calmly said Maya Ibuki.
This time, the groans were more pained.
xxxx
...'sort of' being the key word...
xxxx
/Earlier, during Third Period with Mogami-sensei/
The Japanese language teacher adjusted her half-rim glasses, the tiny beauty mark just to the left of her bottom lip just seething with evil intent. (He honestly didn't know why Kensuke said that, but it seemed to make so much sense today.) "Riddle me this, class," asked Aoi Mogami, "what would goro goro entail?"
"...it's a pop quiz, isn't it?" asked Ishida-san from a few rows down, a tinge of doom in his voice.
"CORRECT! A storm approaches, and the pop quiz is thundering heavily!"
A round of strained groans erupted.
"Don't worry class, by the time we're done, you'll pika pika! Or you'll boro boro. Either-or."
Not a few students plopped their heads against their desk.
xxxx
...well, maybe not okay...
xxxx
/Earlier, during Fourth Period with Hyuga-sensei/
Makoto Hyuga dramatically adjusted his eyeglasses, smiling like some stock Manga Villain Trope. "Today's pop quiz shall be on the SENGOKU ERA."
A few students shivered, while Kensuke whispered, "I thought the legend about the Spirit of Ono-sensei was a myth..."
Shinji had no idea what Aida-san was referring to.
Maybe it had something to do with the strange impression of a samurai helmet he could see around Hyuga's head...?
Nah, I must be seeing things...
xxxx
...maybe...?
xxxx
/Earlier, during Lunch/
"Sometimes, I envy Ayanami," muttered Kensuke as he slowly ate his rice.
Shinji blinked. "Why?"
"...missions keep her away from this torture."
"...that sounds a little exaggerated-"
"Traitor!"
Meanwhile, Toji looked with pleading eyes towards Hikari Horaki. "...Class Rep...there ain't gonna be another pop quiz, will there...?"
The Class Rep stared at him...and then turned away, unwilling to answer honestly.
Toji simply moaned.
xxxx
...maybe...
xxxx
/Earlier, during Fifth Period with Aoba-sensei/
Shigeru Aoba sighed, running a hand through his long brown hair. "You know, I had been planning to do a bit of chorus practice today..."
The students all sat up, suddenly intrigued.
"...but, I have to make sure you're up to snuff on theory, so we'll be having a pop quiz today..."
Every single student deflated.
xxxx
...on second thought, no.
xxxx
/Earlier, during Sixth Period with Ooi-sensei/
Satsuki Ooi, a woman with flowing rivers of ashy brown hair, was staring at them with a wicked expression. "You all probably know what's coming," said the health and physical education teacher.
"...pop quiz?" feebly asked Koshimizu-san from the front of the class; she sounded like someone facing the executioner's blade.
"Pop quiz!"
"IT'S A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU!" yelled Kensuke, impulsively rising to his feet.
"DEMERIT!" impulsively yelled Horaki, her Class Rep aura flaring to MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.
Chastened, Aida-san immediately sat down.
xxxx
No, it had not been a good day.
Which was why the first thing Shinji upon entering the Literature Club was to find an empty beanbag chair and just sink into it. The pained yet cathartic groan that escaped him sounded like a death rattle.
"...pop quizzes," murmured Mayumi Yamagishi, speaking as if they were a curse.
Shinji lazily nodded. Lethargic and quiet, he barely mustered the nerve to continue reading The Tragedy of Hamlet; he had progressed in fits and starts through some of his spare studying time, but had only gotten to the second Act.
"My lord, my lord...I have been so...frightened?" Shinji double-checked his dictionary-thesaurus combo. As he continued to read Ophelia's accusations, he found himself rather...conflicted. Did Hamlet really assault her? I don't remember reading that...where did this Ophelia lady come from, anyhow? For that matter, did it say something about him if Hamlet had done something like that? Wait, I've never read this play, so how would I have known? Ugh, this is confusing. Continuing on, he quietly read, "he took me by the wrist and held me hard...then goes he to the length of all his arm?" Sometimes, the translation was relatively simple, but sometimes it was just bizarre. "Ugh..."
"Still struggling through the play?"
Shinji glanced towards Mayumi; she was three quarters of the way through another novel titled Botchan. "Oh, um...kind of?"
"I suppose your edition chose to to adapt a formal equivalence instead of a dynamic equivalence."
"Huh?"
"Basically, a formal equivalence tries to capture the words and grammar literally, even if the sense doesn't quite translate...whereas a dynamic equivalence tries to translate the exact meaning of phrases and sentences, even if it has to sacrifice words and structure to do so...there are pros and cons to both..."
"Ah." Looking back at the Japanese characters in the play, he replied, "I think I would prefer a dynamic translation in this case."
Mayumi smiled slightly. "So you prefer things to be easy?"
Shinji blinked. "Uh..."
The club president placed a bookmark in the novel, placing it in her lap. After a few moments of contemplative silence, she continued speaking, "the work of translating foreign works...I can understand why it's necessary. Not everyone can learn every language. The thoughts of others would be closed off, otherwise. But a translator can't help but let some of themselves through when they translate...and the effect is more pronounced the more dynamic it is. Without knowing the translator, how can you know that they've faithfully caught the sense that the author wanted to convey?"
"...but wouldn't that be what a translator's paid to do? If he did a bad job, then wouldn't the publisher go with someone else?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. If the translator's the expert, who would contradict him except another translator? For that matter, what if the translators all agreed on a particular interpretation that didn't correspond to what the author intended?" She glanced over at the play he was reading from. "Of course, Shakespeare is dead, so no one can consult him anymore; all that's left is interpretation, analysis, and perception..."
"...it's tough, not being understood," murmured Shinji, feeling an odd bit of insightfulness from somewhere deep and dark.
Mayumi nodded, her long locks of hair lightly wavering from the motion. "To be able to understand someone, you have to let yourself be understood...because they're not going to open up to you if you won't open up to them...but books make no such demands. All of their words and stories are free to you, so long as you're willing to turn the page."
"...but don't some stories have multiple meanings, though?"
"Yes...the meanings one can find depend on your ability. But even if you don't have that, a book won't condemn you if you miss what's hidden. They may have a minimum barrier for entry in terms of skill or vocabulary...but they won't judge you if you take your time to get better. They're kind, like that."
Shinji quietly reflected on what Yamagishi-san was saying; for all that it was a quiet paean to the supremacy of literature, it was also a quiet acknowledgment of Mayumi's struggle to connect with other people.
His Other contemplated.
"Empathy...a fascinating feeling, isn't it?"
"...am I hard to understand?"
The bespectacled girl looked sharply towards him, an uncertain expression on her face. "...you seem earnest."
"Is...is that good?"
"...maybe," she said with a slight smile. "Do you need help reading Hamlet?"
"...please?" He hoped he didn't sound whiny, but the characters that the translator had chosen to convey the antiquated English were difficult.
"That, I can help with." The club president calmly moved her beanbag chair closer towards his, and sat down for a couple of hours of mutual struggle. Such was the Shakespearean way!
xxxx
Shinji Ikari quietly walked along the courtyards of Hakone Academy, gazing at the darkening sky; he ended up by the central fountain, where the trickling water formed a sort of pleasant white noise. On the green fields and by the trees, there were some scattered students studying or conversing, choosing the open outdoors over the cramped dorms to get their cramming done. Not a few were goofing off; there were even a few high school students fraternizing with their kouhai from the Junior High branch, undoubtedly imparting wisdom to their youthful counterparts.
(Unseen by Shinji, at a distant table, Yu Narukami was expertly demonstrating the art of origami to Junior High branch's Art Club.)
(Also unseen by Shinji, at a nearby tree, Minato Arisato was teaching the proper form for a perfect nap to stressed out students.)
(And likewise unseen by Shinji for more obvious reasons, Ren Amamiya was in the high school auditorium having an electric guitar duel with someone from the Music Club. Why? Because AW YEAH, that's why.)
As he was idly typing a response to HEROD's question from a few days ago, he pondered the various circumstantial changes that had come into his life as of late. This was especially notable in light the aftermath of his battle with Mana Kirishima, and his resolve to become a better person, to become someone worthy of trust. Alas, in spite of this, the change had not been instantaneous, or immediate.
The Beast snorted.
"Do you truly believe that change comes so quickly?"
The monster spat at the proverbial ground, gazing at him with mockery.
"You are naive."
He wasn't sure why he had thought it would be like that.
("To accept the unpleasant parts of yourself is to acknowledge that they exist. If you dislike them, that never stops you from growing beyond them. Yet, if you were to simply cut them off, you would lose all cognizance of why you disliked them to begin with, for they would no longer be." The voice of Igor, in spite of his fear and confusion, was a soothing balm. "...for some, it seems an insurmountable task. Yet you have realized a fundamental truth about man: the power of bonds can make any obstacle as light as a feather! After all, even in this place...you are not alone.")
Still (as the long-nosed man's words faded from thought, yet did not disappear entirely), there was a subtle reflection occuring, as he met new people and got to know them (and they got to know him in turn). It brought context to older events, to the point where...well, to be honest, parts of his past life seemed like they had been lived on autopilot. Like I was just...existing. Surely he hadn't changed that much, had he...?
Shaking his head, he finished typing his response to HEROD's most recent question:
HEROD: SUPPOSE AN ACQUAINTANCE WERE GIVEN A CHOICE THAT WOULD CHANGE THEIR LIFE FOREVER. IF THEY ACCEPTED, IT WOULD GUARANTEE THEIR DEATH IN A YEAR, YET THEY WOULD HAVE A SENSE OF PURPOSE AND CONTENTMENT; IF THEY DECLINED, THEY WOULD LIVE A LONG LIFE, YET THEY WOULD LACK FULFILLMENT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.
HEROD: DO YOU TELL THEM TO ACCEPT? DO YOU TELL THEM TO DECLINE? OR DO YOU DO NOTHING?
Sighing, Shinji pressed the send key:
S. Ikari: nothing
Because who was he to make choices for someone else? And it's not like he was the go-to person to give advice. (If someone asked him, that would be one thing...but even then, such a weighty decision had to be theirs and theirs alone.)
The MAGI's response was immediate.
HEROD: THIS IMPLIES THAT YOU WOULD RATHER STAND BY THAN MAKE A COMMITMENT.
HEROD: IS THIS ACCURATE?
Shinji blinked as he hurriedly tried to text a reply.
S. Ikari: no
S. Ikari: an important decision like that isnt mine to make
I could've sworn I pressed the apostrophe key...
HEROD: CLARIFICATION ATTAINED.
HEROD: FOR DECISIONS OF SUFFICIENT GRAVITY AND IMPORTANCE, YOU SEEM TO BELIEVE THAT OUTSIDE INPUT IS OF LESS VALUE THAN THE CONVICTION THAT THE DECISION-MAKER MUST CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES.
HEROD: THIS IS USEFUL DATA.
HEROD: WE WILL PROVIDE FURTHER INQUIRY SOON.
With a quiet frown, Shinji gazed at the stars, slowly appearing amidst the evening sky. They were brighter in Okayama...
(Living in the outskirts of Nishiawakura, despite its relative isolation amidst the forests of the Aida District, had at least one benefit: a glorious night sky, filled with stars. His sensei always said that such views made life in the countryside worth it.)
That actually brought an impulsive thought to mind. He dialed a number (one that he had been forced to memorize; one that he still knew, months later) into his NERV-issue smartphone, waiting for the man on the other end to pick up. Maybe...hopefully?
"Thank you for calling," answered an automated voicemail, in a cool and robotic feminine voice. "This phone is not answering. Please leave a message after the tone."
I don't know why I expected any different, thought Shinji with a small smile.
("Anyone who actually knows me enough to call me is someone I'll likely meet in person in a day or two," remarked his sensei, purposefully eating his rice and grilled eel while the phone rang. "If it weren't for the off chance that I'd need it for emergencies, I wouldn't bother with the damned thing.")
Thinking about it now, there was a strange charm to the man's curmudgeonly demeanor. I wonder why I didn't notice it earlier...? Sighing purposefully - clearing the lungs and clearing the mind - he waited for the tone to sound before talking. "Hello sensei...it's Shinji Ikari. I...know that I had to leave rather abruptly back in June...and I'm sure you're appreciating the peace and quiet...but I wanted to thank you for the years you watched over me. Even though you're not even a blood relative, you still took me in...and I wanted to tell you that I'm grateful. You don't have to call me back," he added, mostly because the amount of free time he had wasn't his to decide, "but I just wanted to let you know. Arigatou gozaimashita." Having said his piece, Shinji ended the call. That felt...nice.
The Third Child spent a few more minutes gazing at the sky before returning to the Izanagi Dorms. Maybe he could get an hour or two of studying in...
xxxx
END OF 7/9/2015