Shin Persona Evangelion

by Ultra Sonic 007

Shinji Ikari stared, bewildered by the bizarre-looking man, who gave an intrigued smile. "An interesting guest has arrived. My name is Igor. Welcome to the Velvet Room, young fool...we have important matters to discuss, you and I." (A fusion of the realms of Evangelion and Persona, where not all is as it seems.) (Cover art by Renu of the Sufficient Velocity forums.)

78. SIDESTORY - The Tale of Narukami: Part 1

Why are we here?

To gain perspective...to learn from the past...

xxxx

In a time long ago (yet not very far away), an attempt had been made to unseat the Usurper from the Throne of God.

Through the poor, unfortunate soul of a young (yet so very old) woman named Minako Arisato, the Angel of Might had warred against the One Who Sat Upon the Throne.

He had failed.

Having cast Zeruel down into the abyss, the Usurper turned their attention to bringing the facets of ADAM under control, lest the First Angel's power slip its shackles.

Minako Arisako had been dismissed to live numerous lives in relative isolation. (Minato Arisato, unknowingly, was still meandering through lives far removed from anything of importance.)

It was in that time...where the Angels, whilst licking their wounds, sought an alternative.

xxxx

Within an unseen dimension, a sterling humanoid gazed at his surroundings with sorrow.

"My kin," said Tabris, "we must...discuss our next steps."

The essences of the Angels were slow to come; though summoned by the will of Tabris from that interdimensional ether, not all were in the mood to speak. Some let their displeasure known quite vociferously.

"THOU HAST SQUANDERED A GLORIOUS OPPORTUNITY," thundered Sachiel (whose essence was a looming titan with limbs that were too long...).

"OUR GREATEST CHANCE SINCE THE WAR IN HEAVEN: WASTED," hissed Shamshel (a great and hideous wyrm that slithered through the metaphorical earth).

"Your anger is understandable. It was a long shot, but Zeruel's power was best suited for combat."

"Had you joined forces with him, what then?" demanded Ramiel. "Has your insipid taste for the lilim rattled your good sense?"

"Given how long it's been, it would not surprise if he has been corrupted by carnal concupiscence," murmured Sandalphon, his figurative ears leaking molten magma.

"You-speak-of-that-which-you-do-not-understand," cautioned Armisael.

"THAT THOU WOULDST DEFEND TABRIS IS NO SURPRISE."

The core of black crystal at the center of a halo pulsated with agitation. "It-was-only-because-of-my-bond-with-Yamagishi-that-Tabris-and-Zeruel-possessed-enough-knowledge-to-bind-themselves-to-those-children-to-begin-with."

"and to what effect?" inquired Gaghiel. "their first host is lost to time; after Zeruel's defeat, their second host is now beyond our reach as well, thanks to the Usurper."

"My-hope-is-that-she-stays-far-away-from-their-wretched-hands..." hoped Armisael.

(Little did they know, of just how deeply the Usurper's clutches of Minako Arisato went; that knowledge would not be learned until much, much later...)

"THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT," retorted Shamshel. "ARE WE TO DEVOLVE TO MINDLESS RAGING ONCE MORE? ARE WE TO SPEND ANOTHER SET OF TIMELINES RAMPAGING AMONGST THE LILIM?"

"it would make me feel better," admitted Gaghiel.

"A thousand poxes upon Shinji Ikari," ranted Ramiel, his blue geometry blaring with all the force of a tired orchestra. "This is all his fault!"

"You would tread upon old ground yet again?" wearily asked Tabris. "To blame Ikari is to ignore all those who played a hand in the choices he made...choices which we all had some part in."

"...why are our other brethren taking so long?" wondered Sandalphon.

Suddenly, as one, they manifested: Arael, Sahaquiel, Iruel, Bardiel, Leliel, and Israfel.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"Bot-dah-dooduhlee-doop. / Pontificating, naturally!" chorused Israfel.

"We...Have...A...Plan..." whispered Leliel.

"an iNTRICATE plan, aND a cONVOLUTED plan," grumbled Bardiel.

"IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED," griped Iruel.

"BUT IT INVOLVES THOSE STRANGE INTERLOPERS IN BLUE," rumbled Sahaquiel.

"tabris," chirped Arael, casting their living light upon Tabris. "they are what you wanted to talk to us about, is it not?"

"...you perceived rightly," admitted Tabris, casting his mind back to that strange place — the Velvet Room — from which the host of Nyx (a boy called Minato Arisato in one life; the girl most commonly known as Minako Arisato in numerous(!) lives) had obtained such strange and formidable powers: powers that were foreign to not only those born of ADAM, but to LILITH as well. "Though my bond is not perfect...the traces are hard to ignore. I believe that the Velvet Room, whoever they are, will be choosing another host in this upcoming timeline."

"then we can implement it. i believe that power will play an important role in our ultimate salvation."

The Angels pondered Arael's idea to its fullest, and plumbed the depths of its immensity.

"Such coordination would draw the tyrant's attention," pointed out Matarael.

"THE USURPER WOULD WITNESS THEE." criticized Sachiel.

"NOT IF SOMETHING ELSE SERVED AS A DISTRACTION."

Tabris considered Sahaquiel's point; countless possibilities were cast aside in an instant, narrowing down to a method that would be efficacious. "I believe the rest of us can provide such a distraction...but it may take many years of planning in this next timeline before anything comes of it. And until the time comes for them to choose a new 'Wild Card', their presence upon the world will be...very minimal."

"OUR SEEDS WILL BEAR SUFFICIENT FRUIT," stated Iruel with confidence.

"...very well, then. Here's how our 'distraction' shall manifest. But be warned that the Usurper's attention will be drawn by how blatant we'll be."

"we're counting on it."

And thus did the Angels prepare for the next run.

xxxx

The timeline that followed was a strange one, to be sure.

Supernatural monsters, born from the essences of Sachiel, Shamshel, Ramiel, Gaghiel, Sandalphon, and Matarael, terrorized the continents of Europe and North America. Though discreet and unnoticed by the public at large, it was a threat that could not be ignored by the top echelons of numerous governmental bodies.

Tabris, in his guise as Kaworu Nagisa, openly plied his talents to found an organization called NERV, gathering top minds from all over the world to combat the secret threat: among them were Yui and Gendo Ikari, Naoko Akagi, Kōzō Fuyutsuki, and Kyoko Zeppelin Langley-Sohryu. His vision had been named Project E, and Mayumi Yamagishi — bearing the essence of Armisael, as ever — would be the First Child in this timeline.

That had been Kaworu's Scenario: thence began the new timeline, with numerous players already in place, living out life as if it had always been that way.

The Usurper, relatively fresh from crushing Zeruel, considered such heavy-handed manipulation to be another attempt at rebellion; thus was their attention captured in the fullest by the events happening within Europe and North America.

Coincidentally, Rei Ayanami had also been concerned by how brazen these maneuvers were. As such, she spent most of her life wooing her way into Kaworu's inner circle, to the point where jokes abounded in NERV about how she was Nagisa's mistress (notwithstanding how she could out-theorize Naoko or Yui any day of the week, this time 'round). Though it was a pleasant life (all things considered; sending Mayumi — and then 'Shinji' and 'Asuka' and other European children — into combat against monsters unseen by the rest of the world was always a deplorable circumstance), she had been unsuccessful in plying the truth out of Kaworu, who had played coy the entire time.

Thus did subsequent events that affected a tiny corner of Japan go unnoticed by the world at large.

Thus did the story of Yu Narukami, in the rural town of Inaba, play out in relative peace and tranquility.

xxxx

Yu Narukami had had a strange life, all things considered.

An eventful life. A fun life. But strange.

Oft were the times that he thought about the strange entities that he and his friends had fought over a rather short period of time.

(Little did he know, of the power that animated Kunino-sagiri and Ameno-sagiri: the latter in particular, bearing a great eye that would not have been out of place on the Angel Sahaquiel. The emphasis that Izanami had placed on truth and falsehood, on lies versus reality: so indicative of Arael's particular insights into human minds. Such were the capacities of Izanami-no-Mikoto and her numerous incarnations., born of Arael and Sahaquiel. Lastly...how fitting, that through an amnesiac 'goddess' named Marie, the Angels had gained access to the otherworldly realm wherein the Velvet Room laid.)

There had been a lot of strife. A lot of struggles.

(Little did he know, of how Hi-no-Kagutsuchi, born of Iruel and Bardiel, sought to turn the powers of the Persona-users against each other, to discern precisely how they functioned from a different perspective that Tabris and Zeruel had been unable to witness, grounded as they had been within their hosts. Though Hi-no-Kagutsuchi had ultimately failed, the prize gained — a human with an open offer to join the Velvet Room, an offer that Sho Minazuki had foolishly declined! — was worth it, if only for the potential value possessed. But in the grand scheme of things...the knowledge gained by the Angels had been worth it.)

A lot of laughs. A lot of weirdness.

(Little did he know, of how Leliel's manipulation of spacetime manifested through the Midnight Stage; of how Israfel's constraints on the powers of Persona-users forced them to get creative, providing new insight into their abilities. How fitting indeed it was for Mikuratana-no-kami, born of Leliel and Israfel, to be defeated in another dimension through the power of dance!)

Quite frankly, that period — not even lasting two years! — had affected him in so many ways that he considered it the dividing line between an old life and a new life.

Even as Yu entered adulthood, his eyes were on the horizon for new opportunities...and new ways to help people with events that were rather unusual.

("Focus on your own life for now, Narukami," advised Mitsuru Kirijo, reading a report that Aigis had sent her from Europe. "There's apparently been supernatural incidents occurring for years in Europe and North America...there's no telling what exactly this 'Project E' is about, but I have a feeling that this is something the Shadow Operatives would be perfect for.")

Even if his efforts were rebuffed, he still made a point of offering...partly because it was the right thing to do, but mostly because he wondered just how stranger his life could get.

(He asked Kirijo about a certain individual that the other members of the Shadow Operatives had alluded to over the time he had known them. "...who told you about Minato?" When he bluntly admitted that Naoto told him, Mitsuru grumbled about 'nosey detectives.' "...it's a strange thing, Narukami. Those events at Tatsumi Port Island were important to all of us...in so many ways...yet there are times when I think about them, and they feel so very far away...like they were part of another life entirely. Which doesn't make sense, so I ignore those feelings...even though they keep vexing me." The beautiful yet deadly woman sighed, running a hand through her hair. "It's so very strange..." Then, because his curiosity had been eating at him, he asked if her black catsuit was something she wore all the time, because it seemed like an unusual choice for a CEO to wear in her office. "...get out.")

So yeah.

(Little did they know, that this timeline had 'begun' shortly after the 'Dark Hour Incidents' at Tatsumi Port Island had come to a conclusion. Such had been Kaworu Nagisa's Scenario, designed to provide an avenue for his fellow Angels to observe experienced Persona-users in action.)

That had been the idea, at any rate.

Then, rather abruptly...it had come to an end.

He could recall people crying out in shock...along with a burning sensation accompanied by a strange feeling of serenity...and then darkness.

xx

I had that weird dream again, pondered Souji Seta, running a hand through his gray hair as he walked towards school. How...strange.

It was rather fantastical. And persistent. (People weren't supposed to dream about the same event in sequence, were they?)

Maybe I could make a book out of it, he wondered, ready to begin his first year of high school on a high note.

Then the homeroom teacher had introduced herself as Nanako Dojima, at which point his mind screeched to a halt.

He didn't panic. He didn't go crazy. As the memories came pouring in, he simply kept his head down the rest of the day.

Once he got home, Souji promptly began writing stuff down, to try and keep things in order:

Observations...

- Dreams are actually memories?
- why am I named Souji Seta
- Another 'Mitsuo Kubo illusion world' situation?
- Nanako actually looks pretty cute as a teacherDON'T YOU DARE GO THERE NARUKAMI
- did I actually die? what was the cause of death?

Souji leaned back, trying to remember the precise moment his awareness as 'Yu Narukami' had faded...then, with a grimace, he wrote it down.

- cause of death: choking on Yukiko's homemade manjū

...huh. That's awfully anticlimactic. Yet, given all the jokes made about Mystery Food X over the years, it was also strangely appropriate. Well...time to figure out what's going on.

xxxx

ANOTHER SIDE, ANOTHER STORY

REACH OUT FOR THE TRUTH

The Tale of Yu Narukami

xxxx

Souji Seta (inwardly, he still thought of himself as Yu Narukami) didn't make any major changes or try to attract any attention. Not at first.

Over the ensuing days (whilst he attended school dutifully), his notepad at home became rife with details about his 'old' life, and about what he had been able to ascertain of his 'current' life:

Current Observations:

- It's the year 1998
- I go to school in Fukuoka?
- somehow my Uncle Ryotaro is already dead

(That bit of knowledge was an oddity that he had gleaned from Nanako-sensei — by Marie that still sounds so odd — regarding her family life. What made it even stranger was the fact that his mother was still alive.)

(The timelines involved made it impossible for Ryotaro Dojima to be his mother's brother.)

(This isn't making any sense.)

If nothing else, he was privately grateful for having Naoto-kun as a girlfriend in his 'former' life (why are you thinking of it in past terms, this is probably just an illusion); it had given him a brief foray into the fields of deductive reasoning and inductive logic, as well as when to deploy them. The discrepancies are present...and weird...

- Inaba doesn't exist, apparently
- Kenshiro Morooka is also the Prime Minister?

(This whole thing feels like a fever dream.)

...nothing I can do about it now. Leaning back in his chair, Souji pondered what to do next; being without the Internet was an utter pain when it came to doing research. (He also didn't want to ponder what had happened to his friends; were they in the same situation as he?)

(You miss them so very much.)

He kept his head low, doing his 'studies' (which were a breeze for someone who had already gone through first year 'before') with the sort of diligence that was 'expected' for a young high school student. Hoping that this would mask any personality differences, Souji spent his free time delving into public libraries to try and find anyone that he knew...but to no avail.

It wasn't until his final year of high school in the year 2000 (having long accepted that if this was all an illusion, it was an extraordinarily thorough one) that he finally got a break; the head of the Martial Arts Club (one Makoto Niijima, a name that he didn't pay much attention to; that name didn't matter to him, in the grand scheme of things) had been talking about a 'legendary martial arts master' that lived in the woods of Aokigahara. It was the nickname, more than anything else, that prompted him to take his car (a pre-owned Corsa L10 that had been a gift for getting top of the class for two years in a row) and have an impromptu road trip in early September of 2000.

(He hadn't told anyone that he was leaving that weekend; he had enough saved up from numerous part-time jobs that he would be fine for at least a couple of weeks; more than a month if he chose to be thrifty.)

(Better to ask for forgiveness than for permission, if this turns out to be a dead end and you miss school for a bit.)

(What did it matter, compared to a potential lead?)

After two days of driving, he had arrived at one of the campgrounds bordering the Sea of Trees; it had taken another couple of days going about to trails, asking strangers about any potential rumors related to a master of martial arts that called the forest their home; a couple of (very annoyed) park rangers politely told him about a rather persistent 'hobo' (their words, not his) that refused to leave the forest. Narrowing down possible locations based on what he had heard, he went off the beaten path, marking his path with yellow ribbons as he went along.

Finally, about half a kilometer southwest of the entrance to the Fugaku Wind Cave, he found her. "I've heard that you're known as the Dragon who's discarded Womanhood," Souji sagely said aloud.

The woman — clad in an old and dirty gi — turned towards him, glaring with brown eyes that were achingly familiar. "What do you want, boy?"

The old woman, with hair gone pale from age, and wrinkled skin out the wazoo.

(But it didn't matter. He could feel it; this was his spunky and never-say-die Chariot.)

The void that opened up within his gut only solidified just how much he had missed his friends, for it threatened to swallow him whole right then and there. That he managed to get away with only gulping once was a minor miracle. "Is your name Chie Satonaka?"

She frowned, leaning back against the mossy roots of a maple; despite her age (late seventies, at least?), the woman gave off an aura of someone who could kick his ass without much difficulty. "Who wants to know? You look like a punk...and not like any of the neophytes who come here wanting to learn at my foot. Stupid brats, obsessed with power..." She spat in her palm, wiping it onto her pants leg. "Idiots."

"...I'm not here to learn from you as a student, per se," he diplomatically said, quietly sitting down with his elbows resting on his knees. (You're not a threat to her.) "I just...needed to see you. That's all."

"...damn, kids these days have weird tastes," Chie muttered.

Souji (think of yourself as YU NARUKAMI, you can't forget!) ignored the barb, saying, "you ever have a feeling that you know someone?" he said with genuine earnestness. "Perhaps from a past life?"

Chie, to his dismay, huffed. "I've heard better pick-up lines in my day," she retorted. "Besides...this forest is the only place that gives me any peace, these days."

Souji (Yu) frowned. "What do you mean?"

Pressing an aged hand against the maple, Chie calmly said, "there's...an odd feeling in the air...and in the earth. Those who were masters of the old ways would have known as well...it's like the world itself is holding a great big breath...and when it releases, it'll be like WOOSH," she added with sudden exaggeration, "and life as we know it will end..." The elderly woman fixed her glare back on him. "It's strange...the look in your eyes is of someone who's familiar with that sort of thing."

"...so to speak."

"You look like you're barely out of diapers."

(Heroic Courage!)

Without a moment's hesitation, Souji retorted, "I could say the same about you, granny."

Rather than being insulted, Chie seemed amused by the comeback, judging by her stifled snort. "Cheeky little brat! You've got a lot of nerve to sass me like that..."

Yu (not Souji) smiled, feeling more himself than he had in quite a while. "...for what it's worth, I'm not sure why the rumors called you a 'Dragon who's discarded Womanhood'."

"Oh? If I kicked you, you'd see just how much of a dragon I am."

"That's not what I mean. They say you've discarded womanhood." Shrugging nonchalantly, he added, "since you're obviously a woman, I don't get that part."

"...hmph," grumbled Chie, a faint hint of red coloring her cheeks. "You're also a shameless flirt too, it seems."

Still got it. "I'm just saying."

Suddenly, without warning, Chie went still, her eyes widening. "It's...it's happening..." She gazed towards the south. "So this is the hour where the world sighs with pain..."

Yu frowned, looking at his watch; it was September the 13th. "The 'hour'? What do you mean?"

"I've felt it brewing...martial arts is as much understanding the world as well as yourself...and this...feeling..."

Without warning, there was a distant rumble...and the sky took on a strange color that he couldn't quite articulate. "What's...what's happening...?" Yu wondered aloud, rising to his feet. When he didn't hear any answer, Yu gazed back towards Chie. "...oh."

The woman's chin was resting on her chest; eyes downcast, no longer seeing anything; without so much as a whisper, Chie Satonaka had slipped the mortal coil.

(A dear friend had just died right in front of him.)

(...you have to keep moving.)

With numb extremities, Souji Seta (Yu's not answering right now...) followed his ribbons back to the trail, moving with a surreal serenity. (There was no point in grabbing Chie's body; she had come to this forest for a reason, and he would respect her wish in that regard.) All the while, earthquakes began to erupt with increasing regularity; only when the aftershocks faded hours later did he finally resume walking. After getting back to his car, he made a beeline for Tokyo (because that's where information would likely be found).

It was there, from the various news channels and public media clamor, that Souji Seta learned of what the strange phenomenon had been: an apparent meteor impact of sorts in Antarctica. This had been the cause of the subsequent earthquakes and ensuing tsunamis which had ravaged Japan's shorelines.

(This was unexpected.)

(You don't remember a major event like this occurring in the year 2000, do you?)

Souji spent the next few days going through the last of his savings, trying to avoid crowds as he tried to get a better picture of what had happened. (The fact that India and Pakistan had wiped each other out in a nuclear exchange chilled him in a rather...unique way.)

Then, on the 20th of September, it all ceased to matter when an ICBM detonated over Tokyo.

Souji Seta died instantly-

xx

Yu Narukami sat up, blinking rapidly. Huh...must have dozed off, he mused to himself, taking a look at the novel he had been reading at his desk: a work of detective fiction, written by one Naoto...Shirogane...?

At that moment (just like before), it all began to click.

With great speed and swiftness, Yu quickly grabbed a notepad (you're in your bedroom, the calendar reads March 19th, 2011) and began writing things down.

OBSERVATIONS:

- A second death(?)
- I'm Yu Narukami again
- this time I live in Tokyo-2 (?)
- I have memories of 'Second Impact' (?)
- Naoto-kun is a novelist this time around? I can see it
- Chie deserved better. :(

Grimacing, Yu tried to organize the jumbled mess in his head. Think...THINK. It was September the 13th when it happened, right? If the memories of 'this' life (that's the way you should think of it, because if you stay still for too long, you'll never be able to move forward, keep THINKING) were accurate, then a similar sequence of events had occurred: a natural disaster in Antarctica; earthquakes followed by mass flooding; refugee crises that escalated to war; nuclear armaments being unleashed; the destruction of Tokyo...and that's where his 'old life' had ended. And now I'm in a world where life kept on going after that...

It was a point of commonality...and a fairly big one, at that. Well...I suppose there are worse leads to have...

xx

There were a couple of bright sides to his 'third'(?) life, Yu mused:

For one, as he began attending high school as a first year, he recognized some familiar faces in his homeroom class: Rise Kujikawa, Ryotaro Dojima(?!), and Tohru Adachi (?!). That definitely eased his burden, somewhat.

- though history differs, personality traits are mostly constant?
- [I can sense the people I had bonds with. somewhat. it's vague]

(He didn't know why he was writing some lines in Japanese and others in another language. Was it paranoia?)

(It's probably paranoia. Whoever's doing this to you isn't one to mess around with.)

That...was pretty much it, because his other observations were not so nice.

- Tokyo-2 is located in Matsumoto and is the current capital
- We live in a quasi-military state where the United Nations has control over a lot of domestic affairs
- [we actually have an aggressive military ('Strategic' Self-Defense Force; who are we trying to fool?)]
- [Internet search confirms that Inaba still doesn't exist]
- why is Tokyo-3 even a thing?

"What'cha writing there, Narukami?" inquiried Adachi from the desk over.

"Just practicing my Spanish," easily answered Narukami (because he didn't trust his Japanese or English to be sufficiently secure enough).

(Good thing he learned Spanish as an elective in his 'last' life.)

(You liar, you only did it to get on Nanako-sensei's good side.)

(She had taken to calling him 'little bro' as a friendly nickname, so it had been worth it.)

(Fair enough...teacher's pet.)

Internal debates were pushed aside as Adachi audibly groaned. "Sheesh, talk about a tryhard..."

"You could stand to try harder, Tohru-san," remarked Dojima (yup, still weird for uncle to be so young) as he reviewed some old notes. "You came out in the middle of the pack for the end of the first term exams; I know you can do better."

"Eh, what's the point? Not like exams are ultimately gonna matter," moaned Adachi with his characteristic irritation.

"Come on Adachi-baby," retorted Yu, riffing on Teddie's (damn it, you miss that silly ball of naive fluff) nickname from a former life (don't think about it like that; you need to get back to it!). "Ryotaro's only trying to look out for you."

Adachi audibly shivered at the horrific nickname. "How many times do I have to tell you to not call me that?"

"But you have such a cherub-like demeanor," seriously answered Yu. "More innocent and pure than a baby's smile: that's you, Adachi-baby."

"...I can't tell if you're mocking me or if you're being serious," muttered Adachi.

Rise merely giggled at his sense of humor. "Come on Adachi-kun, you know that Yu-kun's not the kind of guy to make fun of people." Reaching over from the other side, the girl latched onto his arm with a glomp. "He's too sweet~ "

Ryotaro rolled his eyes. "Cut the PDA, Kujikawa-san; I'd rather not have a repeat of what happened yesterday on our first day back from break."

"What do you mean?" she innocently asked.

"...you were found making out with Narukami in the janitor's closet after class," dryly said Ryotaro.

"...and?" she flatly said, a 'well, duh' fashion.

Adachi shook his head. "Sheesh, girls these days are so thirsty..."

Rise pouted, crossing her arms out of irritation. "Well, after a whole summer break with Yu-kun, how am I supposed to go without him for a whole day?"

"TMI," grumbled Ryotaro.

(It had been inevitable, he mused, that he would latch onto Rise. Though her interest in him was somewhat more subtle than he was used to, the signs had still been obvious; as such, when he had invited her to hang out with him over the summer break, she hadn't hesitated. By the end of the month-long break, their status as boyfriend and girlfriend had been solidified.)

(You're being unfaithful to Naoto-kun.)

(Naoto Shirogane was an adult novelist in this timeline. She wouldn't even know him.)

(A mere excuse.)

(...he would take whatever he could get. Rise's presence — as well as Ryotaro's and Adachi's, to a lesser extent — helped to keep him going in a strange yet new world.)

(So you're already beginning to accept the inevitable? Are you moving on?)

(He would never move on until he had found the truth.)

(Who's to say that your 'first' life was any more real than the 'second' one, or this one?)

(...he had to find the truth.)

(Are you sure that you're not just clinging to an illusion of your own?)

(He had to.)

"So...what are your thoughts about Angels?" inquired Adachi, breaking Yu out of his internal self-recriminations. "You know what I'm talkin' about, right?"

"Oh come on Tohru-san, again with the conspiracies," quietly grumbled Ryotaro.

"Hey, it ain't a conspiracy if it's true, right?"

"What do you mean by 'Angels'?" asked Rise, tilting her head. "You mean the kind we normally see around Christmas?"

Adachi huffed. "Nah, nothing so boring as that. I'm talkin' about the actual cause of Second Impact."

...oh really? Yu subconsciously leaned in. "Actual cause?" he asked with feigned bewilderment.

Ryotaro turned back towards the front of the class; their homeroom sensei — a young woman with an unusually fierce gaze — was walking in. "Just ignore him. He should know better than to look up stupid stuff."

"Fine, don't believe me," muttered Adachi with a pout.

Yu made a point to talk with Adachi once classes were over for the day. He turned towards the teacher, whose light purple hair was tied into a thick bun. "Good morning class."

"Good morning Kuroda-sensei," replied the whole class.

Yu looked down at his notes and wrote something else in Spanish:

- [first Nanako and now Hisano Kuroda]
- [why can't more of my homeroom teachers look like Morooka or act like Kashiwagi?]
- [I wouldn't have to worry about getting attracted to them, then.]
- this sucks

(Yes, it does indeed suck...)

xx

Once classes concluded, Yu promised to meet with Rise at a local sweets shoppe once after-school clubs were over. As the girl bounced away (almost literally) to practice at the Gymnastics Club, Yu cornered Adachi while he was leaving the school grounds.

"Don't you have a club to attend, Mr. Tryhard?" griped Adachi.

Yu shrugged. "I haven't really joined one."

"...huh. All the rumors talk about you being part of...every single club."

"If people want to assume, that's their business." Huh...was wondering why no one actually invited me to join a club. I wonder how long that'll last?

"...heh. How underhanded," said Adachi with a smirk, making his way towards the trees that lined the inner courtyard of the school grounds. Leaning against the brick wall that served as the boundary for the school, he continued with "so, what in the world do you want to talk to me about?"

"You mentioned something about 'Angels' before classes began. What was that about?" asked Yu.

"Why so curious?"

"Just a history project of sorts I've been working on in my spare time," answered Yu. "Been looking into Second Impact."

"...interesting." Adachi adjusted the knot in his uniform's tie, briefly looking around before saying, "you have to know where to look, you know? Internet these days gets scrubbed awfully quick...but for the past few years or so, someone — or multiple someones — has been leaking stories about strange things that happened in Antarctica before it all went down. Somethin' about a Katsuragi Expedition, funded by a group called the Human Instrumentality Committee. Stuff doesn't stay up too long before it gets deleted, but it makes you think, doesn't it?"

It does. "...and what does that have to do with the Angels you mentioned?"

Adachi shrugged. "Not sure. But there are all sorts of rumors about the level of funding going into Tokyo-3. Used to be nothin' but a hot springs town, now they're arming it up like the damn end of the world's gonna happen on its doorstep. Cause these rumors...mention how an Angel was woken up on September the 13th...and how that's what really caused Second Impact...and that, one day, not too long from now, more will come to finish the job."

"...you wouldn't happen to have printed off anything, would you? Saved any links?"

"Pfft, HELL no," retorted Adachi. "Too much of a chickenshit. I just read 'em for the entertainment value."

"...I think you need a new hobby if apocalyptic conspiracies are entertaining."

"Well, that's just your opinion." Brushing him off, Adachi sauntered away. "Ta ta, Narukami."

...well. That was something.

(You'll take any lead you can get.)

xx

The next few years of high school were spent in relative tranquility; Yu was practically the poster child for 'Most Perfect Boyfriend Ever', which drove Rise to paroxysms of ecstasy whilst her peers seethed with jealousy. It certainly served as a fitting cover so he could research in relative solitude, to the point of inducting himself into an online 'hacktivist' community so he could learn more about the techniques needed to navigate the deep (and, eventually, the dark) web.

(What a charming double life you lead.)

(He needed to find information. What information some brave souls had managed to leak about the Human Instrumentality Committee and the Katsuragi Expedition was unnerving enough. Why did so many things point to the NGO known as NERV? What was this Project E that kept popping up in various places?)

(Do you ever think about your old friends?)

(He thought about them all the time. They gave him the strength to keep going.)

(Yet they might as well be no more, compared to the here and now: Ryotaro introduced you to his new girlfriend Chisato. They're getting married once they graduate high school. You know what that means.)

(There would probably be a little Nanako coming along within a few years.)

(Rise-chan's going to get ideas.)

(She always had ideas. Some of them were even good ones.)

(And yet there'll be a side of you that she'll never know.)

(He thought about that quite often as well.)

(Rise Kujikawa's Shadow was born from her fear that no one would ever see the 'real' her. Isn't it ironic that this Rise doesn't see the 'real' you?)

(He gave so much of himself to make her happy, because her happiness gave him strength.)

(How selfish can you get? All she's getting is a shadow of who you really are.)

Sometimes, his internal debates sucked.

Fortunately, his part-time job at a local greenhouse-slash-garden supply store was a relatively relaxing one, all things considered.

So it was on a relatively calm day in 2014 that Yu Narukami was about to close up shop when his last customer made their purchase. "That'll be a thousand yen."

"Mah, seeds have gotten pricey, these days..."

"Well sir, this particular watermelon cultivar is rather hard to come by nowadays."

The man grinned lazily, as though acknowledging his point. "Fair enough, China has had a rough go of it economically, these past couple of years."

"So have a lot of places," Yu diplomatically said, wondering why this man give him such a weird vibe. Despite a slouch in his frame, stubble, and brown hair tied into a ratty ponytail, the man looked like your average overworked salaryman. (Who is he...?)

"True, true. Maybe if I get reassigned to a warmer climate, I'll find a spot for them."

"You don't work around here?"

"Nope. I'm usually stationed in Europe, but I was pulled back to the homeland to snoop around. Hush-hush government stuff, you know?" The man briefly looked him in the eye, as if taking his measure. "...you know kid, you're not as clever as you think you are."

"I beg your pardon?" asked Yu, trying to play dumb.

"Playing dumb, huh?" (Damn it.) "Good. Keep playing dumb. All the stuff you're looking into: Project E, NERV, the Instrumentality Committee...let it lie."

Aw hell. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, Mister...?"

"You can call me Kaji. And trust me, Yu Narukami...you don't want to push any harder." Changing the subject, he said, "people around here like to gossip about how sweet that Kujikawa girl is for you. It's actually kind of frightening how fixated she is, but you seem to make her happy. Get yourself a good job, put a ring on her, raise a family...that should keep you plenty occupied. Sound good?" The man handed him a thousand yen...plus a little extra...a lot extra. "Please." The man sounded like he was pleading.

Briefly dropping the pretenses, Yu grabbed the thousand yen, and none of the extra yen. "I will find the truth, Kaji-san."

For some reason, these seemed to both amuse and sadden the man. "If you say so...but I did warn you." With those words said, the man named Kaji departed; that unnerving presence left with him.

...well, that was ominous.

That night, Yu spent his time trying to dig up any details online about who 'Kaji' was, and if there was any such individual who worked for the Japanese government (or perhaps the UN) in any capacity.

Two days later, after closing up for the shop for another night, Yu Narukami was ambushed by two men in an alleyway mere blocks away from his apartment. Fists pummelled him, and a knife nicked his neck.

As he lied bleeding out on the ground, he tried his damnedest to listen to their voices.

"-stupid kid didn't get the hint, did he? I still say we should've taken him in."

The other grabbed Yu's wallet. "His lines were tapped; he was just too nosey for his own good. No one with any real power. This way it'll look like a mugging gone wrong."

(Neither of them sounded like 'Kaji.' Did the conspiracy go so deep that people were willing to kill for it...?)

"Such a damn waste. If he had kept to himself, he might've made it long enough..."

"We can't afford any chances at this stage. We have three more 'stops' to make."

Yu loosed a death rattle...

(He had to keep this in mind. He needed to remember this!)

(Poor Rise-chan. Not a thought spared for her in your dying moments.)

(She deserved better than a liar like him anyhow.)

(That's the first honest thing you've admitted in a while.)

...and everything went black-

xx

/May 10, 2002/

OBSERVATIONS:

- A third death (getting mugged sucks)
- still Yu Narukami
- currently seven years old; I don't think Second Impact happened this time around?
- Project E; Human Instrumentality Committee; NERV; Katsuragi Expedition; Kaji; TERMS OF IMPORTANCE FOR LATER
- I hope Rise found a better boyfriend
- never forget your first life!

The young Yu leaned back, feeling at odds with his suddenly youthful body. Back to the drawing board...

(And what happens if you look those terms up and don't find anything? What if this life has changed so much from what you remember that those terms don't even exist?)

(He had to find the truth. There had to be a reason as to why this was all happening.)

xxxx

The next several lives for Yu Narukami followed a similar pattern: understand his place in the timeline; try and find if there were any of his old Social Links within his ability to reach (regardless if they had been flipped around in ways that were utterly impossible from a chronological perspective); research, research, and more research on any terms of importance.

Oh, and keep an eye out for the Velvet Room as well. (No luck there.)

Oh, and compulsively write down important things if he was on the verge of forgetting. (How did memory work between entirely different bodies and times?)

(Your soul has a memory of its own. How else can you retain a semblance of yourself?)

(That was a satisfactory explanation. It wasn't the only one.)

(You could just be going crazy.)

In order to solidify the connections, he had to formalize his work, to make it more official (to make it stick).

And so it went.

xxxx

/January 4, 1973/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my fifth life. My fourth life ended after two years because of the flu. Friends found: Kou Ichijou.
- Important Events: There was something about swarms of 'Sahaquiel' that were apparently a new natural disaster?
- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 9 Years Old
- New Location: Inaba (it exists!)
- Miscellany: why am I in the 1970s
- Never forget your first life!

Yu would go on to open the first Junes supermarket in the area, making a point of providing places where locals could market their own products (because why repeat drama unnecessarily?).

It amused him to no end that he ended up employing numerous teenagers on a part-time basis over the years, including Nanako Dojima, Yosuke Hanamura, and the Konishi siblings. (It was a point of pride on his part that he helped set up Yosuke with Saki. It felt...normal, in a nostalgic way.)

But his attempts at research had been hindered by circumstances; all he had been able to glean was that a group called NERV — originating in Germany — was working in esoteric research fields, reaching out to numerous companies like the Kirijo Group, Nippon Heavy Chemical Cooperative, and so forth. But what they were researching was...rather esoteric. (Metaphysical biology? Cognitive psience?)

He had also ended up marrying Yumi Ozawa, of all people. That had been an interesting relationship, all things considered.

(It's because she acted at and then ran the local theatre. Taking on a role, and playing it to perfection...how are you any different, you wretched deceiver?)

He died of natural causes.

xx

/November 9, 1999/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my sixth life. My fifth life ended after over seventy years because of old age. Friends found: a lot. (Married: Yumi Ozawa.)
- Important Events: Something about NERV. Circumstances kept me from finding out more.
- New Name: Souji Seta
- New Age: 12 Years Old
- New Location: Tokyo
- Miscellany: the Human Instrumentality Committee is publicly known as a UN body Pre-Impact. have to keep an eye out
- Never forget your first life!

(Pathetic. Your 'fifth' life lasted longer than all of your other lives put together. By all accounts, it was more real than any other.)

(Nothing sat right with him. He had to find out more.)

(You're obsessed. A whole life with Yumi-chan, a family raised...and they don't count as an 'important event' to you?)

(He had given them his love. But now they were gone. He had to focus on the overarching mysteries.)

(You could just be reincarnating. You could be chasing ghosts: mere shadows of figments of your imagination.)

(He had to keep going.)

Despite his subtle attempts at trying to get his parents to leave the city, he had been unable to convince them to leave Tokyo before the 13th of September, 2000. As a result, when Second Impact occurred, they had been caught up in the chaos: with evacuations lagging behind, he resigned himself to the possibility of getting nuked. (How depressing.)

(He counted it as a point of pride that he managed to convince Kanji and Chie to leave the city prior to Second Impact.)

xx

/May 11, 1995/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my seventh life. My sixth life ended in less than one year because of Tokyo getting nuked. Friends found: Chie Satonaka and Kanji Tatsumi.
- Important Events: Second Impact occurred again.
- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 15 Years Old
- New Location: Inaba
- Miscellany: how come Inaba exists in some timelines and not others?
- Never forget your first life!

xx

/June 21, 1986/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my eighth life. My seventh life ended after seven years because of internal strife in Post-Impact Japan (the way it happened was rather gruesome. don't wanna think about it). Friends found: Naoto, Chie, Yukiko, Yosuke, Daisuke. (Married: Naoto.)
- Important Events: Second Impact. Formation of JSSDF. UN takeover of national affairs.
- New Name: Hayato Asakawa (what the hell kind of name is that)
- New Age: 21 Years Old
- New Location: Tokyo
- Miscellany: 'woke up' this time because I met Naoto and Adachi as part of a crime scene investigation where I was a witness to a murder (why is Adachi the senior detective and Naoto the junior, that feels weird); why is my name the only one that ever changes?
- Never forget your first life!

xx

/February 19, 1997/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my ninth life. My eighth life ended after twenty-nine years because of an Angel attack (the 'Angel' was fighting a giant purple demon, and it crushed my apartment while I was still inside) Friends found: Yukiko, Kou, Ryotaro, Nanako. (Married: Yukiko.)
- Important Events: Second Impact. Formation of JSSDF. UN takeover of national affairs. Hakone turns into Tokyo-3.
- New Name: Yu Narukami (this name feels right)
- New Age: 7 Years Old (so young)
- New Location: Sapporo
- Miscellany: noticed that if you go back far back enough in people's family trees, certain names will change unless they're particularly famous; for what reason do people shift around so much? Is it tied to memory? Cognition? Souls? I don't know.
- Never forget your first life!

xx

/January 14, 1994/

It was late at night in the dead of winter, and Yu Narukami stared at his notepad with a grim expression.

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my tenth life. My ninth life ended after three years because of Second Impact. When I 'awoke', I couldn't hide my personality change from my parents. I panicked (like an idiot); they had me placed in an institution. Was diagnosed with "split-mind disorder." They took me all the way to Tokyo, where they had the 'best in the business.' They meant well. The drugs made it hard to think. Couldn't remember to warn anyone about Second Impact before it happened.
- I woke up last time because I met Yosuke for the first time at elementary school. It was a short while before I got committed, but we became friends. I wonder what they told him when I never went back.

(For the first time in a long time, he felt tired.)

(You're fighting a lost cause. It's been well over a hundred years for you.)

- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 11 Years Old
- New Location: Inaba
- Miscellany: focus on surviving long enough to get to Tokyo-3; it seems like that place is where I can find the answers I need
- Never forget your first life!

(You emphasize one life that's a mere fraction of your total time lived. Why?)

(It was the only timeline where he had been a Persona-user; the only timeline with the Velvet Room. That had to mean something.)

(Have you ever wondered if this obsession is keeping you from moving on?)

(He wondered that all the time.)

(Why do you persist?)

(...because he had to find the truth.)

(What is 'the truth'?)

(...)

xxxx

Subsequent lives (for quite a while) angled towards trying to utilize the Japanese military as a means of gaining information; the focus had been more towards the areas of logistics, engineering, intelligence, or nursing. (Jeers from certain soldiers whenever he chose the latter career path were easily ignored, because what did their opinions matter?)

(So easy to ignore; circumstance and your stubbornness are all that separate them from being a coveted 'friend' of Yu Narukami.)

(It wasn't the same, and he knew it.)

Some paths took him well beyond Second Impact; others led to rather abrupt ends in the midst of the short-lived 'Impact Wars', or in subsequent 'peacekeeping operations.' (Getting shot or blown up were...unpleasant ways to die.)

(What are the odds you'll forget the unpleasantness? You've already started to forget some of your earlier lives.)

(Never the first one.)

(Because that one is so special. How can you live with the way you view these 'timelines' as though they were expendable?)

(They weren't expendable...but they weren't real in the ways that mattered.)

(And what gives you such certitude?)

(...)

(Can you even remember who your first wife was?)

(Naoto had been his first love.)

(Wrong answer. First girlfriend, sure: the first woman you ever married was Yumi-chan.)

(He wondered why he was asking himself trick questions.)

(Was it a trick question? Or are you just forgetful?)

(How could he remember enough to accuse himself of being forgetful?)

(What?)

(What?)

(...you make a fair point.)

(Indeed, he made the best points.)

There were some lives where his duties and responsibilities kept him beyond the realms of Japan; however, he was also mindful to keep an eye out for the development of Tokyo-3, if any. (Why was anything related to Tokyo seemingly the center of the universe?)

However...he finally made some headway as to why Inaba's very existence seemed variable. In a few timelines, it didn't exist at all; in several, it seemed the sleepy rural town he remembered it to be (even though its location also seemed to vary...?); however, in all others, the key year seemed to be 2004.

His few lives where he ended up in military intelligence indicated that it had been designated as a testing ground for something...ominous; however, the security classification had rendered him unable to find out what for. Whether it was a function of his own cognition or otherwise (or maybe you just gave more of a damn about a rural town on the decline than most people ever would), it would seem that after this 'event', all mentions of Inaba as an entity seemed to be nonexistent: no media reports, no mentions in public records, nothing.

This life, where he ended up as a combat medic in the JSSDF, was where he finally found out what that event had been.

(As the personnel carriers rumbled along the highway in the dead of night, past more and more military checkpoints, he listened to his more senior medics talk in hushed tones. Mention of some "Special Forces Group" was made, along with how the 2nd Infantry Battalion of the 1st Airborne Brigade was being deployed. Apparently their target was some separatist group that had holed up in Inaba; the whole point of this operation was to nip them in the bud before any terrorist attacks could be launched.)

Yu had no idea as to what veracity there was to those notions, if any (there had been numerous separatist movements that had been put down since Second Impact all over the world, not just in Japan; it was plausible...); all he knew was that the timelines meshed (for the most part), because 2004 had always been the year Japan publicly unveiled its Special Forces Group. However...the thought of the military being deployed against his fellow countrymen (much less the town he considered his home) was...repulsive.

As they passed Okina City and crossed the military checkpoints warding the highway between it and Inaba, Yu prepared himself for the worst.

Oh, how little he knew; how unprepared he had been!

Inaba had never been a large place, but it had always had a fairly decent population at under 15,000 people, as far as rural towns went.

On that night in 2004, Yu Narukami watched Inaba burn.

If there had ever been a separatist group, they certainly didn't fight back; it had been...a slaughter.

It was to the point that the combat medics ended up seeing more civilian wounded than actual soldiers, that night. But the clincher...the clincher...

Yu stared with unbelieving eyes as a middle-aged man (Ryotaro Dojima...his uncle...!) barrelled into their tent, carrying a young girl in his arms. The man's shouts were nonsensical to his ears; all that mattered was getting the young girl onto the nearest cot, getting her wounds treated, getting her away from death's doors because she was gutshot and there was so much blood-

(He was trying to connect with her out of sheer instinct; it had never worked before in a time without Personas, without the Velvet Room, no one else but him ever remembered, but he had to TRY.)

In the midst of that strangely delirious haze, clouding his senses to all else, a tiny voice — barely a squeak — cut through the fog.

"...big...bro...?"

Yu watched — utterly stunned — as little Nanako reached up for his face, a strange look in her eyes...and then, just as quickly, the look faded, as did the spark of life.

He wasn't sure who screamed first: Ryotaro, or himself.

xx

/July 11, 1989/

Souji Seta wrote in his notepad with clipped motions.

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my forty-seventh life. Friends found: Naoki Konishi, Kanji Tatsumi. Ryotaro. Nanako.
- My forty-sixth life ended in a military prison, where I had been detained on suspicion of "having ties with anti-government separatists." An interrogation 'gone wrong' was the last straw, I think, before I finally died. My reaction to Nanako dying right in front of me must have been quite extreme.

(Even now, he couldn't quite recall those hazy memories between watching her die, and waking up in a stockade.)

(It was the most honest you've been in a while. You treated Nanako as though she was real.)

- Important Events: Second Impact. Formation of JSSDF. UN takeover of national affairs. The Annihilation of Inaba. Nanako calling me "big bro."

(It was more momentous than even he knew; he had never met Nanako before, in that timeline. Yet there had been a semblance of his first life, even if just a spark!)

(So you're not crazy. Now what?)

- New Name: Souji Seta
- New Age: 14 Years Old
- New Location: Inaba

(Even now, he could still envision the deployment of munitions with devastating effect, taking down old landmarks...)

(Now what?)

- Miscellany: get into military intelligence. If Second Impact happens again, find out why Inaba had to burn.

(You're getting distracted from the mystery you've spent so long pursuing.)

(A life spent on a tangent wouldn't amount to much. Besides...this was personal.)

- Never forget your first life. Never forget those who died.

Time to get to work, Seta resolved to himself.

xxxx

Alas, not everything went according to plan. This life was cut short in 1993 by a car accident, and the next was one where Second Impact didn't occur; instead, he ended up getting crushed in 2008 when a plague of nanoscopic organisms — called Iruel's Scourge — devoured the building he had been in at the time. He died after the foundation of the skyscraper gave way.

But the life after that, where he awoke as a young man in the late 1970s...would be much more fruitful.

xxxx

/April 7, 1994/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my fiftieth life. My forty-ninth life ended because of a "mugging gone bad," but I'm fairly sure it was a hired hit. Friends found: Yosuke and Chie.
- Important Events: Second Impact. Formation of JSSDF. UN takeover of national affairs. The Annihilation of Inaba.
- Continued: Annihilation of Inaba was organized for the sake of an experiment in information control. Namely, could the military destroy an entire town and keep it a secret from the media and from society at large?

Yu's stomach curdled at the utter travesty of it all.

(Owing to his greater experience and time spent working his way through the ranks of the Defense Intelligence Headquarters, he had been privy to the discussions regarding separatist movements and terrorist cells in Post-Impact Japan. Given the greater need for information control in a chaotic world, Inaba had been deemed the scapegoat to test out new methods and new technologies that — if successful — would be replicated elsewhere.)

His pen shook as he continued to write.

- Continued: Threat of separatist movements was communicated to military as the reason why Inaba had to be destroyed. Path of prior military operations logically pointed to Inaba as the source for the terrorist movements, but it was all a flimsy pretext.

(He had argued vociferously that the information linking Inaba to the separatists was circumstantial at best. His peers were surprised at how forward and blunt he was. However, his superiors had ultimately overruled him...and he knew, from that point forward, that his days in the DIH were numbered.)

Breathe, Narukami, he told himself.

(Well, you found the truth about 'that'. Now what are you going to do?)

- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 13 Years Old
- New Location: Tokyo

He gathered his thoughts, trying to think about how to put them down...concisely.

- Miscellany: I have a hypothesis. Inaba sometimes doesn't exist in any timeline; when it does, its location isn't always fixed. However, some places like Tokyo never change. Certain events, if they happen, always happen the same way: Second Impact, for example.
- Continued: In like manner, the names of family members that are more than one or two generations removed also tend to vary in terms of their name. The exception is if said family member was famous. Or infamous.
- Continued: my hypothesis is that human cognition has a role to play in how certain events play out. If there are enough people who 'remember' Inaba, then it will 'exist'; however, if the Annihilation of Inaba was so thorough as to remove its very existence from the minds of most of the public after a long enough time, then it won't 'exist.' (Sometimes.)
- Continued: possible objections — if this is so, why does no one else remember prior timelines? Why am I the only one who does? Who would need information control to the extent that they were willing to test the destruction of an entire town for it? Was it NERV? Or some other group?

(Are you beginning to realize the implications?)

(Where did the rabbit hole end?)

(If this is true...then your precious 'first' life may not have been the first at all. It may not have even been the 'original' one.)

(...)

- Continued: the military's no longer an option. Making it to Tokyo-3 is a necessity.

(After what he had endured over his recent lives, he didn't think he could stomach putting on the uniform again.)

(Why not? It's not like it would be essentially different from any of the other lies you've told over all these years.)

(How many years had he lived? Should he have bothered keeping count?)

Yu underlined the final line in his notepad.

- Never forget your first life. Never forget those who died.

...I will get to the bottom of this, no matter what, he resolved to himself. Now...it was personal.

xxxx

Getting to Tokyo-3 proved to be easier said than done.

First of all, NERV didn't actually 'exist' prior to the year 2000 in timelines where Second Impact occurred. Notwithstanding variations in non-Impact timelines, its predecessor organization was some group known as GEHIRN, which in and of itself wasn't founded until shortly after Second Impact. The official 'change' from GEHIRN to NERV didn't occur until the year 2010. (Why the change? What was the point, other than a shift in brand?)

Secondly, the organization's hiring standards were...notoriously scrupulous. (How many times had DIH tried to get a mole into GEHIRN, as Hakone was slowly transformed into Tokyo-3 over the course of years?)

However...there were certain names he could follow up on. Ikari. Fuyutsuki.

The academic discipline of 'metaphysical biology' was notoriously esoteric; however, once he discovered a lead, tracing it to a few academic institutions was relatively simple: Kyoto University, in particular.

(Yosuke and Chie had been the ones to 'awaken' him, this time around; they were rather perplexed as to why he was choosing to study such an odd topic, but they were supportive nonetheless.)

(You've never seen Teddie since that 'first' life. Ever wonder why?)

(The two hadn't managed to qualify for Kyoto University, so their farewell ceremony had been rather...heartfelt.)

(If only you had been as heartfelt.)

In 1999, Yu left Tokyo.

The professor for lectures in metaphysical biology at Kyoto University was one Kōzō Fuyutsuki; though the material was downright bizarre in its implications, it was challenging, in an odd way. (A.T. Fields. The Chamber of Guf. The soul.)

(Are you wondering what your soul must look like?)

However...his graduate assistant, one Yui Ikari, was...unsettling. Unnerving, in a way that he couldn't quite explain.

If ever pushed on the matter, he would simply say that 'smart women intimidated him.' (Which was sort of true; Naoto-kun had always intimidated him, to a certain extent.)

(Naoto-kun also...invigorated you, in many ways.)

(No; looking at Yui Ikari was like watching a shadow pretending to have depth; listening to her was hearing a scratchy record mimicking the vocal cords of the living. There was something distinctly unreal about her, and he had no idea why.)

(Good thing your 'charm' doesn't seem to work on her. She only seems to ever have eyes for this 'Gendo Rokubungi.')

After some trial and error over a few lives, Yu Narukami — born in 1979, this time around — was finally in a position of trust with the older man.

(In the weeks following Second Impact, Fuyutsuki looked rather perplexed as to why he kept following him around. "Don't you have family, Narukami-kun? They'd probably appreciate having you around in these hellish times." When he bluntly answered that his family had lived in Old Tokyo, the professor's complaints ceased entirely.)

This time, when Fuyutsuki was approached in 2002 to join a UN Investigation into Second Impact, Narukami's presence was non-negotiable.

("The young man's been a great assistant," remarked Fuyutsuki, gazing at the flooded remnants of Toyohashi. "I'm more than happy to come along, if you'll also accept Narukami-kun as well.")

The first time Yu saw the Antarctic (or what was left of it), he wondered at just what he was digging into. (How does it all tie together? What's the meaning of it all? What is the truth?)

("You don't have my connections, Narukami-kun," warned Fuyutsuki as the naval vessel trudged through bloody waters, "so you wouldn't know...but there are members of an organization called SEELE who apparently have a rather wide reach, and are privately bankrolling this investigation. Do try and keep your head down.")

(SEELE. A new term he had never heard before. Related to NERV? Something else?)

He quietly listened as a dutiful assistant would, saying nothing as Fuyutsuki-sensei (you have no trouble thinking of him in such a way, hm?) reunited with Gendo Ikari née Rokubungi (how important was the Ikari name, if he willingly took it on?). Discussions about Yui Ikari and her young son were tuned out, for the time; Yu was busy looking at the waters, so red and murky. What do they hide, in those dark depths...?

A few days into the investigation, as the naval vessel procured wreckage and salvaged materials for review, Yu stepped outside to gaze at the night sky; despite the horror of everything that had obviously gone down, at least the stars were still the same. "...constants...and variables..." (But for what purpose?)

"You're new."

Yu blanched, turning to face the voice. "Oh...good evening Ikari-san. You startled me." The man didn't answer, his clean-shaven face appearing rather stark and severe in the dim ambience cast by the ship's spotlights. Whatever affected warmth had been present with Fuyutsuki-sensei was...absent. "Can I...help you?"

"Playing dumb? You're a face who's never been present before. Fuyutsuki was never one to socialize in his old life, so I doubt he would willingly seek out help. Which means you sought him out."

(What's going on?) "...Ikari-san, I'm just interested in finding out the truth of what happened. That's why I'm here."

"...hmm." Gendo seemed amused. "I wonder if you're a soul whose true A.T. Field is beginning to self-differentiate. Is this what it looks like?" With a bitter chuckle, he added, "you might as well save yourself the trouble, boy. This eternal purgatory goes in only one direction; you might as well sit back and enjoy what little there is to have."

(He knew.)

(He knows.)

Yu couldn't help the narrowing of his eyes. "You know about prior timelines. Of other lives? Of events repeating?!"

"My, you are a special one, to understand this much. How many have you gone through? Whose plaything are you, to understand so much?"

Yu impulsively grabbed the furry lapels of Gendo's insulated jacket. "Who's behind it all?! Is it NERV? SEELE?! I need to know!"

His demand for answers only seemed to amuse Gendo even further. "Tell you what...let's see how far you can go. If we ever happen to meet again in Tokyo-3...I'll make sure to hire you. You'll have front row seats to the essence of monotony." Without warning, Gendo bull-rushed him, dragging him off balance and throwing him over the rails.

Yu barely had time to open his mouth when he hit the frigid waters-

xx

/August 12, 2001/

Yu Narukami turned away from his bedroom's television (which was announcing the nuptials of Mitsuru Kirijo and Yosuke Hanamura, and he was undeniably curious as to how such a relationship ever came to be) to focus on his notepad. Flipping away from his mathematics homework, he began writing.

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my fifty-fourth life. My fifty-third life ended when Gendo Ikari pushed me overboard a ship in the Antarctic Ocean. Friends found: Yosuke and Chie.
- Important Events: Became Fuyutsuki's assistant. Second Impact. UN Investigation of same. Gendo knows.

Someone else knew. (Why Gendo Ikari? Why him?)

- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 15 Years Old
- New Location: Inaba
- Miscellany: judging by my calendar, this is a 'Non-Impact' timeline. try to see if you can find Gendo Ikari. if not, during the next timeline with Second Impact, try and get to Tokyo-3. See if he'll keep his word.
- Never forget your first life. Never forget those who died.

For the first time in a long time, Yu was in a genuinely good mood.

(Have you already consigned this timeline to the rubbish heap?)

(Not at all. In fact...)

Yu stood up, opening his window and poking his head outside. "HEY! CHIE-CHAN!" he yelled, looking towards the upstairs window of his next-door neighbor's house. With practice, he took a tiny pebble (from a small pile sitting on his desk) and tossed it, where it dinged off the wooden window frame.

Sure enough, a tired Chie opened her window, gazing across the open air towards him. "Urgh...whaddya want, Yu-kun...it's Sunday, and you're wakin' me up before ten in the morning...?"

As trace thoughts (they were childhood friends; he had never given her any guff for being a girl interested in martial arts; he barely held the edge over her in their eating contests at the local Chinese restaurant) filtered through, Yu answered, "let's go on a date tonight!"

"...eh?" sputtered the girl, her face going beet red. "A d-d-d-d-d-d-d-date?!" Predictably, she fainted.

"...is that a yes?!" he asked. Still got it.

(For a given definition of 'having it.')

xxxx

/December 8, 1996/

OBSERVATIONS:

- This is my fifty-fifth life. My fifty-fourth life ended after twenty years, when a Warrior Priest of "Lord Sachiel" challenged my wife to a duel. The collateral damage was significant, and I was caught in the crossfire. Friends found: Chie. (Married: ditto.)
- Important Events: An Angel manifestation of sorts. (They tend to be quite varied in Non-Impact timelines, I've noticed.)
- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 10 Years Old (As of today, in fact; it's my birthday. Nice.)
- New Location: Kyoto (Been a while since I was in a place that wasn't Tokyo or Inaba.)
- Miscellany: preliminary research on my end indicates Fuyutsuki-sensei is teaching metaphysical biology at Kyoto University. High odds of an Impact timeline!
- Never forget your first life. Never forget those who died.

Yu quietly looked out his window, hands idly making paper cranes as he took in the sight of the stars. Here's to another life...

(What is your goal?)

(He had to find the truth.)

(But to what end?)

Second Impact came and went; he veered away from anything related to the JSDF or the JSSDF; however, even employees of NERV would have children, and as such educational facilities were still a necessity. (Anything within the junior high and high school curricula would be a breeze by this point...save for a few things he might need to brush up on. His memory wasn't perfect.)

(That's because you've lived too long.)

He moved to Hakone after obtaining his educational credentials in the late 2000s, wherein he joined the staff of the First Municipal Junior High School. As more and more resources were poured into the city (indeed, as Hakone was rechristened as Tokyo-3), rumors were acknowledged, and municipal governance made things clear: the city was actually built over a subterranean cavity called the Geofront (an underground arcology? Impressive.); Tokyo-3 had been selected to become a fortress city; at some point within the next decade, the UN was convinced that an extraterrestrial threat (the 'Angels') would be targeting Japan; that the organization NERV would be deploying experimental weapons to stop these monsters.

Confidentiality agreements were employed en masse. Most of the staff were briefed directly by NERV personnel at the school.

Yu, on the other hand...had been invited directly to NERV.

His thoughts were somewhat in flux as he descended a tram car into the spherical expanse (and his past lives spent doing engineering work were screaming, because how were skyscrapers supposed to be suspended with hydraulic systems alone?!); he tried keeping note of where he was being escorted, but the path taken was both extremely boring and extremely circuitous.

As such, he was rather ready to get on with it when his armed escort directed him into the cavernous office that could only belong to Gendo Ikari. Gazing out the windows at the picturesque scenery of the Geofront, he remarked, "nice view."

"Indeed," remarked Gendo, who was no longer clean-shaven.

"...I have to say, I approve of the new look. Orange shades, white gloves, chinstrap beard: it makes your inherent creepiness more bearable."

"You're much more cheeky now than you were in our last meeting."

"Now that I know you're aware of the other timelines, I don't see the need to be polite."

"And just how many timelines have you experienced?"

"This life marks my fifty-fifth." Gendo immediately snorted. "And I assume that means you've gone through a lot more."

"To put it mildly, Narukami."

"So why?" Yu leaned onto the table, glaring at his reflection in Gendo's glasses. "Why is this happening? What's the reason for all of these timelines? Some are variable...and wildly so...but this one, where Second Impact occurs, and the Angels are prepared to attack? It happens a lot."

"Given how much these events seared themselves into the memories of mankind, it's of no surprise."

So it DOES have something to do with cognition. "But why? What's causing the repetition?"

Gendo didn't answer that question. Instead, he said, "in the year 2015, the Angels will make their grand return. Children by the name of Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari, and Asuka Langley-Sohryu will be assigned to your class, because of the role they must play in this insipid drama. If you want more answers, then you'll simply have to play along until the end, as everyone else has to."

'Everyone else.' Focus on the key words. "...everyone else is unaware of these events: unaware that they've happened before. But you are. Why?"

"Where's the fun in spoiling?" remarked Gendo, a genuinely amused smirk coming to his face. "Your presence is the first bit of spontaneity I've had in a long time when it comes to this rancid plot; why would I ruin it?"

Yu resisted the urge to punch the man in the face.

(His mentality is so similar to yours.)

(They weren't alike in the least. He had a goal; he had a grander purpose than mere entertainment!)

(You're already on the way; how much of your prior lives have been glossed over? How much have you already forgotten, if you've even bothered to try and remember?)

(...)

"...I imagine this won't be the last time we'll meet," calmly said Yu, turning away on his heel. (The man had mentioned 'Shinji Ikari'; was that his child?) As his shoes echoed across the floor, marked with esoteric designs, one question came to mind. "By the way, Ikari-san...whatever happened to Fuyutsuki-sensei's graduate assistant? Whatever happened to Yui Ikari?"

Gendo sighed, sounding somewhat...tired. "Yui Ikari has already assumed her role in this particular story...an old and bothersome role...but I endure it for the times where something different happens. In that, I find some measure of happiness, however meager it may be; in a sense, this tired timeline is my penance, of sorts."

"...I see." How interesting. "One more question: Fuyutsuki-sensei mentioned a group by the name of SEELE. Are they still a factor?"

Gendo's melancholy transformed into joyful spite, twisting his lips into a merry sneer. "A bunch of old men, who collectively had the power to control the world...and control it they did." His shades seemed to flash, allowing his eyes — in all their intensity and savvy — to be seen. "They've long since been rendered irrelevant. Any semblance of their activity...is naught but an echo. Ponder that if you'd like, Narukami."

(...that was certainly cryptic.)

(You shouldn't treat that man as a friend.)

(He had managed to form a bond with Tohru Adachi, of all people. Could Gendo Ikari be any different?)

(One conversation is all you needed to know that his brand of madness is different from Adachi's.)

Yu's thoughts circulated about themselves as he was escorted out of NERV. What am I getting into?

(He was getting closer to the truth, slowly but surely.)

(But to what end?)

Weeks and months passed by, as Yu dutifully taught his second year students at the renamed Tokyo-3 First Municipal Junior High School.

Finally, in March of 2015, an unusual student appeared in Class 2-A: a young girl with blue hair, pale skin, and red eyes.

Yu idly noted that she visibly reacted to his presence with surprise. Referencing his own notes and the seating assignments, he knew that it was none other than Rei Ayanami. (The girl that Gendo Ikari had mentioned. But for what overarching purpose?) She seemed to expect someone different. (It was only logical; before he came along, there would have been a different homeroom teacher.) Is she also aware of the changes? Would Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley-Sohryu be the same?

He would find out soon enough; as the first term moved along, Yu did his best to be a supportive teacher for his students: listening to complaints, keeping the peace, and most importantly: offering wisdom. (No Aida-kun, taking pictures of the girls is a bad idea; Horaki-chan, if you really like Suzuhara-kun, just tell him, because boys at that age can be idiots; etcetera etcetera, blah blah blah.)

Ayanami was notoriously insular, treating him with outright suspicion. She never came to him for assistance, and only responded when he called on her for answers.

Finally, shortly after the first major set of exams began...the Angels had made their comeback.

(Hiding in a shelter had been kind of boring, by comparison.)

(You've already had one life where the purple giant crushed your apartment whilst battling this Angel. It looks like 'Sachiel'.)

(...right, that had happened to him, before.)

(You're slipping.)

Days later, Shinji Ikari was assigned to his class. Surprisingly, Yu received the same sensation from the boy that he had felt so long ago from Yui Ikari: an unnatural emptiness, acting according to some detailed yet imperfect script. Human-like in so many ways...yet not human.

(How odd, that the children who seemed to treat Ayanami with such concern and trepidation couldn't sense that Shinji Ikari was somehow more inhuman than all of them.)

(Curiouser and curiouser, isn't it?)

(There were times when Ayanami would see him caught in a stare, fixated on Shinji Ikari in all of his inherent oddness.)

(She doesn't trust you. Why?)

Weeks went by. More Angels appeared. Shinji and Rei were in and out of class; usually at the same time, sometimes staggered. Rumors of the giant robotic creatures (mechs? Mobile suits? He didn't know what the proper term was) had filtered through the ranks of the school by now, giving him a proper name: Evangelion. (There was something foreboding and ominous about that title.)

(Ironic, compared to original Greek word euangelion.)

(...right, he had taken Greek on a bit of whim some time ago. When had it been?)

(You're slipping.)

At last, the third of the Evangelion Pilots (ironically known as the Second Child) had appeared: Asuka Langley-Sohryu.

He had her pegged as a stereotypical tsundere in an instant, a complete and total contrast from the withdrawn and apologetic introvert that was Shinji Ikari.

(And yet...she evoked the same sensation as Shinji and Yui had: a mere automaton, acting according to a strange compulsion that was utterly bizarre. How could no one else see it?)

(...maybe it's because that's what they expect. A self-fulfilling prophecy.)

(But why them? He had only ever felt those sensations from Yui Ikari, Shinji Ikari, and Asuka Langley-Sohryu: no one else. What was the connection?)

(Yet another mystery to consume your life...)

xx

After a few days of watching the interaction between the redhead and the rest of the class, Yu arranged a meeting with the guardian of Shinji and Asuka: a rather vivacious yet slovenly woman by the name of Misato Katsuragi. (She was like some weird chop suey of personalities of the various women he'd met in his many lives.)

(Or, you know, it could be that she's her own personality.)

(Why didn't Shinji live with his father?)

(Would you want to live with Gendo Ikari?)

"Is there something wrong with their schooling, Narukami-sensei?" diplomatically asked Katsuragi.

"Beyond Miss Sohryu's apparent difficulty with some of the kanji? Not in particular," he said. "However, given their 'extracurricular' activity, I wanted to provide a lesson plan so they wouldn't be at risk of falling behind." He handed over a small sheaf of papers. "If you'd cover that with them, they'll at least know to use it for a reference on future material."

Misato looked somewhat annoyed. "Not exactly something I'm qualified for..."

"Well, going by the gossip I hear from some of the boys, you are the director of NERV's Tactical Operations branch. I'm sure second year material would be a break by comparison to what you normally have to deal with."

Misato playfully snorted at the compliment. "If you say so, Narukami-sensei."

"In the event my assistance would still be needed, here's my business card," he said, handing it over to her. "I'm sure there are going to be situations where their duties will keep them away from the school for extended periods."

"...why are you going this far for them?" she wondered with some degree of suspicion.

"Notwithstanding the fact that they're Evangelion Pilots?" he answered quite solemnly. "They're just children. For whatever reason, they've been put into a situation that should be left to the adults. This is just my way of...balancing the scales." (Why were children the ones who piloted these Evangelions? For what purposes?)

(And will these questions help you reach the truth?)

(He would pursue this lead for all his worth.)

Misato seemed mollified by this.

xx

Sure enough, it was around mid-September when he found himself accompanying Horaki-chan to Misato's apartment.

("Given everything that's happened, you never know what could go wrong," he calmly said to the Class Representative. "Besides, I'd like to see their living situation myself.")

Running into Aida-kun and Suzuhara-kun along the way, Yu wasn't sure what to expect; nowhere on the list was 'Ikari and Sohryu answer the door in matching leotards, speaking in unison.' Well then.

(This was almost nostalgic, in a strange sort of way; it was the kind of weirdness he'd once considered normal.)

(And doesn't that say volumes?)

He idly pinched the fabric of Ikari's overshirt, remarking "this fabric feels kind of cheap...and it's too loose. If you're going to dance, go for something with a tricot weave."

That oddball comment elicited looks of confusion just long enough for Katsuragi and Ayanami to arrive (sure enough, the latter twitched at the mere sight of him). Narukami was then treated to a bizarre scenario of Ikari and Sohryu working on a dance machine as part of a combat preparation strategy.

"Not what you'd expect from an organization like NERV, huh?" remarked Misato with sly eyes.

Yu shrugged as he sipped from a cup of tap water. "If it works, it works." (There were numerous moving boxes, full of stuff being unpacked; some empty containers of alcohol, stashed away out of sight; an odd air of untidiness clashing with a desire to look good but not caring enough to go all the way.)

(You've seen worse.)

(The part of him that had been a parent several times over wondered at the suitability of Katsuragi as a guardian. The rest of him, who had witnessed the weakness of way too many people to count, withheld judgment.)

All the while, Ayanami kept her distance.

xx

Days later, Yu watched from a distant mountain ridge as the purple and red titans coordinated to defeat the Angel (one that split into two before being forced back together) in under a minute. "Not bad," he murmured. "I wonder if they stuck the landing...?"

(He'd find out later that they hadn't.)

xx

That was the general trend of things; Yu would visit Katsuragi's Apartment, trying his utmost to find out why exactly Ikari and Sohryu felt so different from everyone else. His very presence seemed to repulse Ayanami, who was never around when he was present.

(At least Katsuragi was a pleasant and fun-loving sort, even though he could tell there was an underlying darkness.)

(This whole city has an underlying darkness. You can practically taste it.)

"By the way, congratulations on your promotion to Major," he idly said one day, whilst tutoring Asuka on her kanji.

Misato blinked. "Eh?"

"The patch on your lapel. It's changed."

"...well, I'm surprised you noticed."

Yu shrugged. "Going from a Captain to a Major is a pretty big step. Who knows: you might be a Lieutenant Colonel one of these days."

Misato snorted. "If this job doesn't kill me first."

xx

Yu wasn't sure how he got invited to the party celebrating Katsuragi's promotion.

("...well, if you're going to invite me anyway, I might as well make sure Aida-kun and Suzuhara-kun behave themselves," he casually said, to the woman's amusement.)

Oh. Right.

It turned out to be a boon in disguise, because well after the party had started, two other adults had arrived: a doctor by the name of Ritsuko Akagi (he had seen her handwriting on some of the school's medical files related to Rei Ayanami...and her hair was dyed a shade of blonde that would have made Kanji proud), and a ratty-looking man by the name of Ryoji Kaji. The latter, in particular, struck a chord. (He's the one from way back when.)

(Now you have context for the weird vibe from the first time you met him.)

(Kaji felt just like Yui, Shinji, and Asuka...save for the fact there was something just a bit more solid. Somehow.)

Notwithstanding Misato's irritation with the man (they're obviously ex's) and Asuka's obvious infatuation (which the man, to his credit, ignored with aplomb), Kaji seemed rather intrigued by his presence. "Ah, you must be the mysterious teacher that Katsuragi's talked about at headquarters."

"I apologize if I come off poorly compared to her compliments," he simply said.

Akagi snorted, glancing slyly in Katsuragi's direction. "You didn't mention that he was a braggart."

"I see. I'll have to work harder at being humble," he retorted just as quickly.

Misato hid her irritation at Akagi and Kaji's amusement behind a sip from her beer.

(As the party continued, he couldn't help but look in Kaji's direction; the man was knowingly looking at him.)

(What is he? He could be like Gendo...or like you.)

(Was that even possible?)

xx

It was around late October when Katsuragi invited Narukami as her date to the wedding of an old friend.

(When he asked why she wasn't inviting Ryoji Kaji, the woman huffed. "The idiot would probably be late. Like he is to everything else in life.")

It was a relatively pleasant affair, all things considered: the bride and groom were lovely in their Western-style garb, the food was plentiful, and the reception was rife with libations. (He'd seen enough weddings by now that they were rather...humdrum, in the grand scheme of things.)

(More like you've been married enough.)

(That was a fair point; his own weddings had always seemed more important.)

(And yet how many memories have you forgotten?)

Still, he enjoyed the celebration with the best of them; his turn at karaoke went quite well, in his opinion.

"...dame da ne! Dame yo, dame na no yo," he sung soulfully. (He had indeed been a fool. He had indeed been a mess.)

(You're still a fool. You're still a mess. Accept it.)

When he sat back down after finishing the song, Katsuragi looked at him with a strange expression that belied her impish smile. "My my, the teacher sounds like someone who's broken a lot of hearts in his day."

"...it speaks to me, on some level," he honestly admitted.

xx

Katsuragi was tipsy, but not drunk.

(He pushed away her glass, remarking that she'd had enough. "I'm a grown-ass woman," grumbled Misato. That may be true, he admitted; however, even 'grown-ass women' could get drunk.)

Narukami had pulled over at a park near his apartment, allowing the woman to get some control back over herself with a nighttime walk. "...you're thinking about Kaji-san."

The woman's eyes — guiltily — flashed towards him. "...it's stupid. You must think I'm horrible."

Yu shrugged nonjudgmentally. "I'm no stranger to carrying a torch well beyond what's reasonable. But it kind of hurts to just be a rebound."

Misato snorted. "Of course...so much for being a grown-ass woman, neh?"

"Even adults are no strangers to pain. No one's too old for heartache."

(Take your own advice.)

"...so damn rational," murmured Misato, hugging herself as they walked under pale street lamps. "Trying to be too cool. Just like he was. Both of you acting like you know what's good for me...just like him. But it's all pointless...I'm nothing but a damn hypocrite. Telling Shinji-kun not to run or else nothing will ever improve...like hell. Can't even take my own advice..."

(The woman was unknowingly preaching to the choir.)

(You're not above it all. Their pain is just as real, even if they can't remember like you.)

"...I think we're all running away from something," he admitted to her (and to himself). "What matters is that, when the chips are down...is that you make a choice you're willing to live with. That's all any of us can do, at the end of the day."

"...and if you're willing to live with really shitty choices?"

"Then make it so that you have choices which aren't 'shitty'," he retorted.

Misato snorted at his rejoinder. "Stupid sexy sensei," she murmured. "Too charming to be just a junior high school teacher...bet you're some kind of suave secret agent type underneath that stupid hair of yours..."

"Maybe in another life," he said with an amused smile. "But I'm fairly certain that's the alcohol talking-"

"Narukami."

"Yes?"

"...just shut up," she grumbled, grabbing his tie and yanking his face down to hers.

xx

Yu wasn't sure how he had made it back to his apartment.

All he knew was that he woke up the next morning with a naked woman wrapped around him. Well, he mused, looking dryly at Misato's sleeping face, that happened.

Needless to say, it was rather awkward when Misato woke up. "...aw hell..." she muttered, looking somewhat mortified.

He didn't say anything out of recrimination. (She was already doing enough of that for herself.) Rather, he gazed at her phone, which was buzzing. "I think that's for you."

Misato scrambled to his nightstand, grabbing her cell phone and holding it up to her ear. "Hello," she muttered, angry German cursing coming out of the other end. (Miss Sohryu had a rather foul mouth, it seemed.) "No no, I just...ended up crashing at a friend's place, that's all...come on Asuka, at least Kaji was on hand to watch you guys, right? He did show up, right?" More conversation. "Ah. Good. Sorry I didn't make it back. At least you had Shinji-kun all to yourself, eh?" She held the phone away as a predictable bout of cursing ensued. "Look, just head to NERV for today's sync tests. I'll be there shortly." Hanging up, the woman nervously looked towards him. "...so..."

"We're both looking at each other in the nude," he abruptly said (intentionally glossing over the prominent scar running diagonally underneath her right breast), "after a rather eventful night. I think we're past the 'awkwardness' stage."

The shift to banter seemed agreeable to Katsuragi, as she crossed her arms (hiding the scar) with a huff. "Well, turns out the homeroom teacher is a wannabe Casanova."

"If I'm going to be nicknamed after a romantic literary figure, I'd prefer Romeo over Casanova; at least he cared about his woman."

Misato snorted, looking towards curtain-covered windows. "Romeo didn't end up so well in the end, though..."

"True. Which is why I like to avoid forced dichotomies." Holding out his hand, he said, "hello there. My name's Yu Narukami."

"...I can't believe you're such a dork," muttered Misato, who nonetheless took his hand in her own. "Misato Katsuragi," she jokingly replied.

"So...a friend's place, hm?"

"...ah. I said that, didn't I?" The woman looked utterly flummoxed, nervous, ashamed, and delirious, all mixed into a heady emotional cocktail.

Yu rose from his bed, privately grateful that he had been rather frugal since coming to Hakone, because the relative lack of furniture made it easy for him to find Misato's clothes. Her undergarments and jacket were still serviceable, but the dress...looked like it had been ripped off. "...I'll buy you a new one?" he offered, resisting the urge to blush. (By comparison, the popped buttons on his dress shirt and ripped cuffs on the suit jacket seemed...pedestrian.)

"...eh, it didn't fit that well anyhow," she muttered. "Besides, it was a rental."

(He wasn't quite sure if that made it any better, per se.)

That left the matter of getting her back to her apartment; he offered a pair of sweatpants and a plain undershirt that she could wear her jacket over. As Yu dressed himself, he couldn't help but hear Misato muttering about 'stupid guys, why do they have to be so much taller' and things to that effect. "So...I'm not going to presume anything from this."

"Eh?" Misato blinked, looking at him with trepidation. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know if you want to make this a 'thing'," he said, adding air quotes for effect. "I don't know if you want this be a one-time-only deal. I'd understand, because you seem to have some issues with your ex that I'm not privy to."

"Gee, I didn't know the sex was that bad," she grumbled bitterly, brushing by the thrust of his comment entirely.

"The sex was nice. I've had better, but I've also had much worse," he replied so casually that it elicited a semi-outraged sputter from her. With her defenses down, he pressed forward with his rhetorical offensive. "Not my point: I'm leaving the decision in your hands as to how you want to go from here. But from what little I do know of you...leaving it on the level of 'just sex' is something you'd rather avoid, if at all possible."

Misato frowned, tightening the drawstring on the borrowed sweatpants so they wouldn't sag. "What are you, my therapist?"

"I'm afraid I don't do pro bono work."

"Oh really? And this would be 'work' to you?"

"Nope." Scratching at his cheek, he admitted, "I'm in the market for a friend though, and I think you meet my qualifications."

It was enough of a lighthearted comment to ease the tension, yet heartfelt enough to reach her. "And I'm sure a guy like you is just so desperate for friends," she joked.

(She has no idea how desperate you truly are.) "Most of my time is spent at work...and unfortunately, my colleagues are a bit too straightlaced for me." (Compared to the teachers in his 'first' life, especially.) "I like a little bit of quirkiness in my confidants."

"That so? And how exactly am I quirky?"

"Well, you do have a penguin for a roommate."

Misato chortled at the comment.

After tidying things up in his bedroom, he cooked a quick and simple breakfast of eggs and toast with orange juice before offering to take her back to her apartment. "I can walk," said Misato, dipping her toast into the yolk.

"You can, but you'd also be walking home in my clothes. In broad daylight." Downing the last of his orange juice, he added, "besides, I was technically your date. I can only imagine the gossip that would spread among my students if they found out I didn't escort you home."

"Didn't think a guy like you would care about gossip."

"For one, I think Miss Sohryu would put the nastiest twist on it as possible." She acknowledged that as a fair point. "Secondly, if the children don't trust me, it's kind of difficult to get them to listen. I'd probably have to resort to some absurd challenge to win their respect again...like folding a hundred paper cranes in ten minutes, or posing so hard that I'd risk getting a cramp."

"Poor baby, so disrespected," she snarked.

"We're all poor babies, in the grand scheme of things."

Since it was Sunday, there was no need to worry about going in for work as far he was concerned; as such, the drive to her apartment was done in relative silence. (She looked like she had a lot to think about. So did he.)

(You've been so focused on your first group of friends for so long that you've forgotten there are other people with their own inherent worth.)

(It was strange, to be in a position where someone's personality traits were a relative mystery to him.)

(Are you going to treat it like a game?)

(There would be no point to it. That would render them as less than people. It would be loneliness by another name.)

As he pulled into the parking lot of Misato's apartment complex, she finally broke the silence. "You're not gonna ask about the scar?" Glancing at him, she added, "I know you saw it."

"Kind of hard to ignore."

"...and?"

"Every scar has their own story. In fact, I have a very traumatic one about the Great Paper Cut of 2011," he answered with genuine seriousness. "But not all stories need to be shared in the first meeting, don't you think?"

"...true. Who has the time?" Don't comment on the irony don't comment on the irony don't comment on the irony. "...thanks for being my date, last night. I really did have a good time, all things considered."

"Likewise. Are the children going to give you any trouble...?"

"Nah. They should be on their way to NERV by now. I need to freshen up before going anyway." She flashed a small grin at him before turning to step out-

"Hey."

Misato turned back, looking at him with curiosity. "What?"

"..." (You don't know her like the others.) "Katsuragi..." (He'd only obtained glimpses into the story of 'Misato Katsuragi'. Yet what did they say?) "...take care of yourself, okay?" he said with a sort of sober solemnity.

The woman's grin faded into something feebler, more uncertain...and yet, somehow, all the more genuine because of it. "...I'm still trying to figure that part out, Narukami-kun." With those words said, she departed.

Yu watched her leave, waiting until she was out of sight before pulling out. As he idly thumbed through the list of Contacts on his phone, he found himself...somewhat unsettled. (This was all new to him. Even all the lives he had lived left him unprepared for the possibility of establishing connections with others outside of his usual Inaba circle.)

(So what are you going to do? Are you going to try and leverage your circumstances to save them all?)

(Where would he even start? He'd barely made the sort of progress he would've liked into why he was looping.)

(You're no savior. If you start thinking that way, you're already damned.)

These thoughts and more circulated through his mind as he finally made it through the subfolder containing emergency contacts for his students. (Misato was the first emergency contact for Asuka Langley-Sohryu...but there was a second one.)

"Hello?"

"Am I speaking to Ryoji Kaji?"

"This is him...ah, is this Narukami-sensei? You sound familiar."

"We haven't met since Katsuragi's promotion party some weeks back."

"Well, you were a rather distinctive figure. Is this about Asuka? I'm afraid Katsuragi would be more able to answer any questions about her schooling-"

"That's not why I'm calling." Vaguely recalling the most useful bits of knowledge from a few prior lives, he stated, "I have a package of red mochi I need to drop off somewhere. Where's a good place?"

"...head for the rim of the newest crater, near the Yugawara Defensive Line. North side."

"I think I can be there in about thirty minutes." Without another word, Yu hung up, and proceeded to drive. Looks like my old lives in military intelligence still have some value...

xx

Yu had parked near an old trailhead, and hiked the rest of the way; the damage from the battles against the Angels could be seen in numerous places, but the elements that had preceded their return — the warning signs about restricted military zones; the artificial camouflage that masked defensive armaments, visible even from a distance — were more striking, in his mind.

There was a point where the old forest trail came to an abrupt halt, courtesy of an impressive crater formed by a blast of explosive proportions. It was a sight of bloodless carnage, of clinical devastation. Was this from an Angel, or from the JSSDF's own munitions...?

Before long, he heard footsteps. "That DIH catchphrase is rather old. You must have been out of the game for a while."

"You could say that," neutrally said Yu, turning to face Ryoji Kaji. "Haven't had much of a reason to use them. Figured they'd be useful in a pinch."

"So you say," remarked Kaji with a sort of forced unreality, taking out a cigarette to smoke it. "I'm sort of in the middle of working; any reason you needed to get my attention in such an overt manner?"

"Why haven't you and Katsuragi had any closure? She still carries a torch for you. You know it. I know it. Katsuragi knows, but is in denial."

"...oh?" He leaned to the side, grinning as he looked towards his neck. "You and Katsuragi have a nice date?"

"Don't change the subject," he insisted (wondering if there was a hickey on his neck...yeah, there probably was). "I overheard Akagi and Katsuragi talking at the wedding reception last night; you've been withdrawn as of late."

"Life as an inspector for the UN keeps me rather busy, I'm afraid."

"I think we both know that's an excuse; you seemed to be pretty forward with your advances...until at the promotional party, where we first met." (For a given definition of 'first'.) "After that, you backed off...why?"

"...heh. You're surprisingly sharp, Narukami-san," he admitted, dropping the teacher's honorific. "You seemed like a swell enough guy. You also looked like someone who had their act together. I figured Katsuragi would be better off with someone like that. Was hoping she'd eventually forget about me."

"You're going about it the wrong way then," said Yu with a fierce expression. "If you don't want to continue things with her, then at least make it a meaningful ending. She needs it...and I think you need it, too."

"I'm afraid I don't deserve it."

"If it was about what people 'deserve', we'd never get anywhere," Yu retorted. (Did he deserve to live all of these lives? Did he deserve to keep moving on, always cursed to leave his friends — old and new — behind?) "But I think you both need it."

"...you're awfully considerate, Narukami-san." Kaji smiled with a sort of grim resignation, as someone who had already seen the end of a show and was just waiting for it be over. "I've tried moving on...but I'm afraid she won't let me." Inhaling deeply of his cigarette, he added, "I'm just trying to find the truth...and it's a truth I think I already know...but it's the role I must play, come hell or high water."

(Did Kaji know? Did he possess knowledge of other timelines?) "Kaji-san...I'm trying to find the truth as well. We can help each other."

"...I'm afraid I'm beyond help by now, unfortunately." He dropped his cigarette to the ground, where the embers smoldered on the dirt-covered trail. "I really do wish you had picked a different way of getting in touch with me; it raises all kinds of red flags, for a teacher with no military background to suddenly toss out a secure catchphrase. It's the sort of thing that certain people would like to interrogate you about, you know? But, if it makes you feel any better...at least this way it'll be quick." Kaji then ground his foot onto the cigarette, snuffing it out.

Yu barely had time to widen his eyes before a sharp impact (trailed by the distant crack of a sniper's rifle) slammed into his torso, and everything started tilting-!

xx

/September 27, 2002/

A ten-year old Souji Seta, watching the new superhero show The Amazing Adventures of Kick-chan!, suddenly blinked as the credits introduced one Chie Satonaka in the lead role. "...oh," he muttered, suddenly feeling a torrent of memories slam into him.

All he felt as a result...was a sense of annoyance. Ah...I walked right into that one. Damn it, Kaji.

(Back to the drawing board.)

xxxx

TO BE CONTINUED

xxxx

Author's Notes: Even in the midst of an escalating existential crisis, Yu just can't turn off the swag, can he?

That's right, we're starting off 2022 with another Sidestory! Yu's has ended up becoming so long that I felt it necessary to upload it in two installments. At my current pace, the rest of the Sidestory should be up within a week.

For those who may be wondering why Yu responded very differently to his looping relative to Minato...it's not favoritism. I think a lot of it has to do with not only the characters themselves, but also their particular circumstances:

Minato Arisato (or Makoto Yuki or Sakuya Shiomi or what have you) started as cold, indifferent to the point of apathetic, and a bit of a jerkass (depending on some of his dialogue responses). He opens up later as he gets closer to his teammates and Social Links (thus allowing some of his eccentric thoughts to manifest), but he's still quiet and rather withdrawn in general. Even though part of his character arc involves his lack of fear about death (either his own, or in general), part of his growth involved the attaining of bonds that gave his life meaning...which is why, when he chose to become the Great Seal at the end of the game, he still did so...for their sake.

Imagine now if he 'woke up' in an entirely new life, where none of that had apparently happened...and where all he had were memories that dogged him relentlessly.

That would definitely be a shock to him, I would think; between his 'original' life and Elizabeth finally finding him again however many timelines later (as that old hobo living in the wilderness), the only documented time he encountered the Velvet Room, or any semblance of his original life...was the timeline where he had been 'replaced' by Minako Arisato. (Little did he know that his bonds had somehow pulled him into a life that existed within the Usurper's seed world of choice, which is why he got yeeted very far away.) Then to be encountered by the Usurper, only to be tossed away like powerless trash?

I'm not surprised that Minato would feel a sense of despair that would eat away at him, for they fueled the fire that burned away his dread. Only when Elizabeth revealed the truth about what was going on (giving him hope)...was that flame rekindled.

Now...contrast with Yu Narukami (or Souji Seta or Hayato Asakawa or *Insert Chad Meme Name Here*, but *Insert Joke about how Yu Needs No Charm Stat*).

Every single game he was in involved an 'investigation' of sorts: finding a serial killer (P4 Golden); finding out who Labrys and General Teddie were (P4 Arena and Ultimax); finding out the secret behind the Midnight Stage's ties with Yuko Osada and Kanamin Kitchen (P4 Dancing). His fellows were known as "the Investigation Team." Their most notable accessory were glasses that cut through otherworldly fog, allowing them to see with unclouded eyes. The freakin' normal battle song was about reaching out for the truth!

Plus, given that he defeated a god through the power of dancing (because of course that would be the one whose power is partially sourced from Israfel, of all Angels), it's fair to say his tolerance for weirdness is higher than Minato's.

Couple this with what can be considered his most canonical fear (namely, of being abandoned, as seen in the P4 anime and in PQ), along with the fact that he's dealt with illusions before (Shadow Mitsuo's Lotus-Eater Machine in episode 12 of P4 the Animation)...well, it felt logical that this would be how he'd respond. Because no matter what, he will find out what's going on...and he won't stop until he's found his friends again.

/so this is not a case of preference for one protag over the others
/they're different characters who've faced different circumstances, so they're gonna respond differently to the same situation
/that's all
/Part 2 coming soon