All Trish wanted to do after work was put her feet up and relax, unfortunately she had to get the house ready for Nikki's return the next day. By the time she reached the front door she had decided that dinner would be the first microwave meal to come to hand, but as she entered her ears picked up the faint strain of music and her nose was assaulted by a tantalizing smell that did nothing to curb her mounting hunger.

There was of course always the slight possibility of a particularly inept or confident burglar being in the house, but the whole 'anti-crime' concept of breaking-and-decorating had for the most part been a 60s fad that died down.

No, Trish had her own suspicions about what was going on.

Crossing the threshold to the kitchen, a light smile graced her lips as her eyes landed on her beloved marine, still in uniform, tending a multitude of pots and pans on the stove. Nikki's head turned round, eyes seemingly lighting up with happiness as they landed on Trish, her first words spoken seemingly without any trace of sarcasm or irony:

"You're back early, dinner won't be ready for another half hour."

The vid calls had been a godsend, each one truly amazing, but they were nothing compared to the real thing just standing there. The urge to rush over and jump into her arms was almost unbearable, but she was highly aware of the hot stove and boiling water, the last thing she wanted was to burn her lover. Instead she leant casually against the doorframe, if Nikki could fein nonchalance so would she.

"Yeah, because I wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow and I'm the early one?"

Nikki responded with a carefree shrug.

"Heard a rumour of a private shuttle making the trip, pretty much begged, bribed and blackmailed my way onto it. I can leave now if you want? Come back tomorrow when I'm supposed to?"

"Oh I would never be that mean... you can finish cooking before you go!"

Shepard smirked, turning back to her work and Trish took the opportunity to sneak up behind her, wrapping her arms round the soldier's waist and snuggling close, head resting on her shoulder.

"So, what you making?"

"Shepard's special surprise."

"Oh really? And what's in it?"

"Meat, rice and sauce with a dash of spice and a handful of vegetables." Trish could tell the quest for more information was a battle she wouldn't win.

"Sounds good... I can already guess dessert."

"Really? I hadn't decided yet. It's between apple turnover and-..." Nikki trailed off, understanding dawning as she shuddered under the kisses to her neck. "Oh you cheeky minx! Control yourself when I'm cooking please."

"It's not my fault. You're the one who turned up without warning, in my kitchen, after months away, and wearing that sexy uniform."

"Oh I see, so if I want to avoid harassment next time I come home I should change into civvies first?"

"Well, I can't guarantee you won't get ravaged simply by turning up but there's no harm in trying. Ooh, one of those old fashioned long aprons with nothing underneath, that might work."

Shepard barked a laugh.

"I know what you're doing you know and I'm not falling for it. You're trying to distract me and sabotage my cooking so you can claim to be the better chef!"

"Foiled again!" Trish pressed one last kiss to her girlfriend's jawline before releasing her and going to make a drink. For a moment the boiling kettle and sizzling pans were the only noise in the companionable silence.

"So... you'll never guess what I managed to get hold of." Such a claim was almost certainly true but Trish still had to appear to try.

"Uh, the complete works of Agatha Christie?" Nikki just shook her head. "Ooh, a Ming dynasty vase?"

"What would we even do with one of them? No, much better... Bananas!" There was an impressed gasp before Trish thought to seek clarification.

"Hang on, do you mean bananas or bananas?"

"Nope, real, proper, honest to soil, organic bananas. None of that fake, mushy, cube crap. They're in the bag over there." Nikki would have sworn her partner teleported she moved so fast. The half made coffee forgotten on the worktop.

"Can I have one?"

"That was kind of the idea when I bought them." The soldier was still stirring the pots, just about able to see Trish in the corner of her eye. She spun round suddenly when she noticed her peel it and take a bite. "Wait, you're eating it raw!?"

For the briefest of seconds Trish panicked, thinking there was something wrong with the fruit. She quickly dismissed that idea, confident that Nikki would never bring anything dangerous back without at least warning her first. That analysis was confirmed when she looked in Nikki's eyes, instead of concern for her safety the marine looked more like a child who'd just witnessed someone kick a puppy.

"How else am I supposed to eat it?" Yep, kicked a puppy, pissed in the fish pond and then stolen all the candy.

"How else... Not 'I'm too hungry to wait' or 'I just prefer it that way', but 'how else do you eat bananas?' You seriously don't know?" She sounded so incredulous that Trish had no comeback. "My god, I'm living with a barbarian! That's it, dessert is cancelled."

"What! Which version?"

"Both types! All of them! No other desert is acceptable until I have initiated you in the ways of the banana. I'm going to need some chocolate, preferably with nougat or caramel in, possibly some..."

This is like when she found out I couldn't swim all over again... Trish thought as Nikki continued listing ingredients for various banana orientated meal plans. Mind you those lessons were fun.

"Of course for savory you just can't beat fried banana and tuna... I think I'm going to need some more bananas."

This is getting out of hand.

"You're seriously willing to risk turning down guaranteed sex tonight to teach me about bananas?" It sounded even more absurd out loud. There was a pause and for a moment Trish thought the soldier would backtrack like any sane person would do.

"Well... I've survived this many months without it, I'm sure one more day won't kill me."

"And what makes you think you'll only have to wait one more day?" Her own body was protesting the threat even as she spoke it, she caught a momentary glimpse of worry on Nikki's face before it disappeared behind a grin, two parts cocky to three parts salacious:

"Oh after you've tasted what I can do with bananas, you'll do anything for me babe."

There was no containing the laugh that erupted from her, the corners of Nikki's lips twitching in response as she struggled not to join in.

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm." Nikki's eyes were sparkling with mischief and Trish couldn't seem to tear her gaze away. Fortunately she had other senses and she caught a whiff of-

"Your Shepard surprise is burning." Nikki spun around with a curse, muttering about sabotage as she worked to salvage the meal. "Thought you weren't going to fall for that?"

"I didn't! It's all part of the plan!"

"You planned to burn the food?"

"... That's the surprise! Adds flavour and er... crunch."

Trish smiled. Vid call was all well and good, but nothing beat the real thing.

...

Author's note:

Breaking and decorating is a nod to Sir Terry Pratchett, I'm pretty sure it was in Soul Music, but it could have been another book, definitely part of the Discworld series though. The rest of the chapter is pretty much a result of me realising I had some spare bananas and deciding to recreate my favourite pudding from childhood, then wondering what these two would do with the recipe. If anybody's interested you want to put some water in a frying pan, make a little boat out of tinfoil, peel the banana, slit it lengthways then push chunks of chocolate in the gap (Mars bars, double deckers and galaxy caramel are among my favourites, but anything that melts well and has more than one texture should work), pop the food in the tinfoil, heat until it reaches you're preferred level of gooeyness and enjoy.