Countdown:

Ten minutes.

Ten minutes until the Mako Reactor goes up.

...What happens if I wait for the reactor to blow up?

Just... wait.

Wait until the timer goes down. Well, I'll be dead. I can't do anything after I am dead. But what happens when I die? What happens to everything outside the reactor?

Well...

I guess the reactor will explode and kill a lot of people. I don't know any of these people at all. I've met Barret Wallace and Avalanche, and they want to destroy the reactor to save the planet. And they're willing to kill a lot of innocent people to do that.

Are they right?

Is this the only path forward?

Or is Barret just some psychopath whipping them into a frenzy? Well, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie seem like good people. I don't really care about their names at all.

What happens if the reactor goes off and we're inside it?

Well...

I guess they'd abandon me down here. They don't know me; they're only bringing me on board because Tifa recommended me. They want extra muscle. I was in SOLDIER; I'm good at killing people.

Why do they care what Tifa wants?

Because they owe her?

They're basing their operation in her bar. Tifa is provided the funding and the drinks. There is no way they could pull this off without a base of operations or money. But what...

What does Tifa get out of this?

Obviously, she had been working with Barret long before I showed up. She knows him well enough to take care of his daughter. His daughter, who he is planning to leave so that he can get revenge on Shinra. Doesn't he care about his daughter?

Maybe he's leaving her because he cares.

Because he's such a psychopathic, broken mess that he knows he can't stay with her for long.

Like me.

Wedge... he's securing the exits. His whole job is gonna be to make sure we get there. And I don't really think he's gonna leave without us. But will Barret leave without me? Will Jessie?

Logically, they should.

They don't know me.

And if I'm just going to sit here in a Mako Reactor for ten minutes waiting to die, why do they have to help me? I'm supposed to be helping them.

But I'm helping Tifa, not them.

I just met them.

So why am I helping Tifa?

Because she's my childhood friend, my memories of things are still weird, but... we grew up together, didn't we? Back in Nibelheim, we made a promise, didn't we or something?

What does it even matter?

Tifa is doing fine without me. She's a successful bar owner with a lot of patrons. That and the universal adoration of the surrounding area. Why does she need to help Avalanche?

She doesn't strike me as an eco-terrorist?

Is it revenge?

Revenge on Shinra for what it did to her? For covering up Nibelheim. But that was Sephiroth; Sephiroth killed those people. Sephiroth went nuts and killed her Father, my Mother, and a lot of other people.

What is the game plan here?

If Tifa seeking revenge on Shinra by proxy because she can't get at Sephiroth. Using me?

I've got plenty of reasons to hate Shinra. So does Tifa and Barret, but how is blowing up a Mako Reactor going to help that?

Well...

We could kill a lot of Shinra soldiers.

But why does Barret need me for that?

Maybe...

Maybe Barret could use the extra help. And if we blow up the Mako Reactor, we will buy the planet some time. But it won't solve the problem. So... buy the planet more time. Blow up another Mako Reactor.

And another after that.

There is no way Shinra will take that lying down.

They'll do something grand and dead in order to make a statement. They will find Tifa eventually. And when they do... she's going to lose the Seventh Heaven. Marlene will probably get taken as a hostage at best.

What would be best for Tifa?

Tifa would be better off not being friends with terrorists.

Well...

If Barret dies, Marlene will be sad.

But Barret is gonna die anyway when Shinra decides to get serious. The only question is whether Barret dies here...

Or later. In a situation where Marlene will be endangered.

So...

What if I take this from Barret's perspective?

What if I just assume that everything about his beliefs is absolutely correct? In that case, the WEAPONS are real. The legendary weapons that exist will eventually awaken. Or Shinra will stop what it is doing. In which case, Barret is delaying the arrival of the WEAPONS in the hopes that Shinra will change.

But Shinra is not going to change.

If they were going to change, Zack would have done it. And Zack is dead, shot to pieces in a wasteland. I'm just his war buddy, who has stolen his sword for lack of a better option.

So the WEAPONS are going to kill everybody. Or, at least, wipe out Shinra and force humanity to take some responsibility. So, what Barret is actually trying to do is save humanity. He is trying to show the Planet that not all of humanity is like Shinra. He doesn't have any better options, and he has nothing to lose.

But blowing up one Mako Reactor makes that point perfectly.

Blowing up another is just going to provoke Shinra to kill a bunch of people for fun. Just like me.

So... why am I here?

Because I'm the hero?

If I choose to be the hero, the only thing I'm going to do is make Tifa's life worse. A lot worse. I'm going to destroy everything she has built so that I can play hero. Then, she can get her revenge on the Shinra Corporation for something that Sephiroth did.

All Shinra did was cover it up.

So why am I here? What use is a SOLDIER to Tifa?

Because I don't want to let Tifa down? What exactly do I offer her?

I could hunt monsters, but Tifa can do that too. And she'll face much more dangerous enemies if I help her. So, what can I do for Tifa? How can I help her?

...I could pull my weight. But nice to her.

Hunt monsters.

Not be a burden.

But I've already set the timer on the Mako Reactor, so it doesn't matter. And how is not being a burden going to help Tifa? She has other friends than me. Friends who are not in SOLDIER and don't kill people for a living. Johnny is not a burden, and he was closer to Tifa than I was.

At least until I saved her life.

And when I did that, I got made an outcast for it by her prick of a Father.

So, the truth is...

I can't help Tifa.

Could I help myself then?

Immaculate Johnny and convince him to go out and be just like me. And by the time he gets back or something. Woo Tifa by sheer masculine badassery and play hero?

Tifa seems to like playing Princess. She always did when we were growing up.

Though, I don't really remember ever being in her house.

Were Tifa and I even that close? Was that why I went to join SOLDIER?

When did I join SOLDIER? I don't remember any inauguration ceremonies. Did Lazard just toss a badge at me and tell me I'm a dog of the military? I think I'd remember something like that.

No, no, I'm in a trap right now! I'm sitting on the floor of a Mako Reactor, waiting to die from an explosive I planted! No one is coming to help me!

Could I help someone else?

Maybe Jessie will get trapped or something, and I can free her.

But Jessie is going to die no matter what I do when Shinra gets serious. So is Biggs and Wedge. Maybe Barret or Tifa could make it out if I help them.

I...

I could save Tifa and Barret. I can't save all of them, but maybe I could save Tifa and Barret. They're strong enough to survive long enough...

For me to save them.

What of it?

They'd only be in danger because I put them in danger by helping them get their revenge.

So the only thing I'd do is save Jessie for a bit so I could trade her up for Tifa. Logically, I could then find some other beautiful woman to trade Tifa in for once I get bored of her. And then when I get bored of that someone I could get experimental.

Like that freak, Corneo, who rapes women, calling them his brides. Then condemning them to a life of prostitution and horror. But it's okay because Tifa looks good in a bunny girl outfit or something.

Is that really a life worth aspiring to?

No, no, we could survive, survive, and get out of Midgar. Work as mercenaries...

And do what?

Where would I go? Even if somebody declared me the hero out of pity, what would it matter? I have no place in the world, no strong desire in life.

But I could find one.

I...

I have everything I need right now to build a new life. I can fix my relationships with other people. I can make friends, I can be friends with Tifa, I can...

I can ruin Tifa's life so I can be the hero.

But...

Maybe Tifa doesn't like the bar? Maybe she wants to see the world beyond this place.

Why does she need me to do that? If anything, having a rogue super soldier with her is only going to hurt her. I...

I barely even know Tifa.

I can't remember having any real conversations with her besides the promise.

Well...

Tifa likes me. Why else would she help me when I was lying in the street dying? She can't be out for revenge here. Tifa has never been out for revenge, and if she wanted revenge on something...

It would be me.

I never went back to Nibelheim until Sephiroth was assigned there. I can't have wanted to go back. And I was never anywhere near as strong as Sephiroth; he was a godlike entity. All I did was follow behind him and get bailed out constantly.

I don't think I was Sephiroth's war buddy at all.

I had trouble taking down ordinary infantrymen in the train station. Sephiroth could have cleared this place in ten seconds. He wouldn't need ten minutes; he'd blow the place to smithereens in ten seconds. Then he'd ascend into heaven to woo goddesses and drink an ocean's worth of beer.

I've got to have gotten stronger since Nibelheim.

Was I really in SOLDIER?

Or was I just some guy who technically held the rank? Some social climber who rode Sephiroth's coattails and pretended to be his friend. Before walking out on him in that library when he needed him the most.

So...

I'm just pretending to be a hero.

Tifa has got to know I'm not as strong as I am. She's not stupid. So she's handing me over to Barret out of pity. Allowing me to play hero...

Because she isn't willing to let me waste away by the train tracks.

And she doesn't want me around the bar.

Because I'm still just that stupid, violent kid, the one who was always going around starting fights.

But...

Now, I'm a fraud as well. I just only realized it.

No, no, I am not a fraud! I was in SOLDIER!

I just can't remember anything about the layout of Shinra facilities. So obviously, I couldn't have been that important. And Lazard didn't think I was important enough to warrant a promotion. And I don't have don't have the physical abilities of a SOLDIER.

No.

If I do not have the powers of a SOLDIER.

If I do not have the knowledge of a SOLDIER.

If I do, I am not considered a credible member of SOLDIER...

Then, I was not in SOLDIER and never was. My rank is totally irrelevant. Whatever my technical rank, I'm just a random infantryman. I am one who got assigned to work under Sephiroth. Who just happened to snap and burn my hometown down.

Why play the game at all?

Why ruin Tifa's life?

Because Tifa is the only thing I have left? When did I have her? She couldn't have been very important to me if I never thought about her before now.

Well, what if there is something else here?

Some other power at work sabotaging everything from within. Playing the sides or something. A manipulative sociopath using people for their own ends. To achieve power or control a damsel in distress or something.

Someone with a convenient personal interest in me whose plans revolve around me.

Would I know this guy?

Well, of course, I would. He's me.

Well, whatever his plans are, I'm sure they'll all fail if I die right here.

But what if they don't? What if he finds some other way or something? Maybe... maybe I have to stop him or something.

No, no, I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to have been in SOLDIER. I want to be Tifa's friend. I just want to be Tifa's friend without ruining her life. I want to be the hero. I want to save Tifa.

What does it matter if I die? I've never even really lived.

I was never Tifa's friend.

I've already ruined her life.

I've already saved her.

And I was never the hero.

So...

What would a hero do?

A hero...

A hero would show Tifa he cared.

And then he'd leave her because he is a completely toxic individual. One whose only purpose is getting revenge on the people who hurt him. Only it's obvious that his problems are entirely his own fault. All he's doing is spreading those problems to other people.

Why play hero at all?

Why make friends if all you do is hurt them?

No, no, I want to help Tifa. I want to help Marlene. I want to help the Planet.

Tifa and the Planet don't need my help.

But...

Barret is down here, too. And he isn't moving. Maybe Jessie will free herself and get out. But Barret isn't leaving without me.

Has he thought the same things I have?

If Barret had any more reason to keep living than me...

He'd have left a long time ago.

Should I say something here?

"Barret," Cloud says. "Marlene will be alright."

They'll be alright.

'No!' said a voice of chaos and strife. 'Can't you see that if you don't play the game, you'll never see what lies beyond the reactor?! You'll never climb to the highest mountains. You'll never be anything but an infantryman!

'You're a puppet! A machine set in motion! I command that you leave the reactor and slaughter Shinra!'

Go to hell.

The film reel broke.

I haven't saved anything, so I can't continue.

But maybe I'm not so far back that starting a new game won't work.