"I shit you not, there I was..."
Shepard tried focusing on the team's random chatter, hoping it would calm her down as she strode furiously through the Citadel. Unfortunately their tales of past glories and hilarious misdeeds wasn't working, she was still pissed off at Nassana Dantius, and rapidly running out of time before their scheduled meeting.
It wasn't that she regretted killing Dhalia, that slaver scum got what she deserved, but she detested the way Nassana had manipulated her with the sob story of her sister being captured. All she had to do was say she knew the location of a slaver hideout and Nikki would have happily wiped them out.
Instead they'd gone in under the assumption of it being a hostage rescue.
The slight hesitation when Tali found the asari they thought they were supposed to be rescuing on the other end of a gun was enough for her to sustain a suit breach. If Doctor Chakwas hadn't had the foresight to stock up on dextro antibiotics the consequences could have been much worse.
If that had happened Shepard wouldn't even be attempting to calm down. As it was, the quarian had only been returned to light duty yesterday.
A faint vibration on her wrist had Shepard glancing down, stopping suddenly, eyes darting around when she reached the end of the message.
[Now there's a sight for sore eyes. xXx]
The rest of the squad halted too, staring suspiciously in all directions for whatever had caught their leader's attention. The corner of the spectre's mouth quirked upwards as she caught sight of a figure on the balcony of a nearby cafe.
"Wait here a moment, there's something I've got to check on." She ordered, walking off before calling back over her shoulder: "Oh and you can relax, it's nothing bad."
They watched her leave, glancing at each other in confusion, trying to decide what to do now. The uneasy silence was broken when Ash decided to voice the question on everybody's mind:
"Did the commander just... swagger?"
...
"Well now, someone's looking sexy today." Trish greeted, eyes roaming greedily as her partner walked across the cafe towards her.
"Hmm, that someone must be you." Nikki responded as she closed the gap and claimed a quick kiss. "Not that I'm complaining but what are you doing on the Citadel?"
"Work, very boring. There's some perks though, like they paid for my hotel. What about you?"
"Work, I'm wearing this so it must be boring." The soldier gestured down at her seldom worn dress blues as she sat down, their hands reaching for each other across the table, while their legs sought physical contact underneath. "Nobody provided me with a hotel though, they never do... I'm starting to think I'm in the wrong job."
Trish chuckled dutifully.
"Well, you can always come share mine for the afternoon?" The civilian offered suggestively. "I've not got any more meetings until tomorrow."
"Tempting though that is, and believe me I'd like nothing better, I'm afraid I've got a meeting and I promised my guys lunch afterwards." She pointed out the rag tag group that were still standing where she'd left them. "You can come with if you want?"
"I get to meet your crew? Now?" Trish was clearly excited. "It's been years since you let me meet anyone on your teams." She stood and grabbed her jacket, heading for the exit while Nikki sat frozen as she suddenly remembered there was a reason for that and wondered if it was too late to rescind the offer.
Echo squad was the last team to have the honour of meeting Trish and they had greatly enjoyed the experience. Particularly the way they ended up with plenty of ammunition to take the piss out of her for weeks afterwards.
"Aww hell, I'm going to regret this." She scrambled to her feet, rushing after her waiting partner, brain whirring trying to think of damage limitation plans.
...
The introductions didn't actually go too badly. As long as you ignored the part where Trish asked Kaidan whether it was Nikki's charming smile, gorgeous eyes or perfect ass that he'd been attracted to.
"Don't answer that Lieutenant." Shepard ordered, glaring at her girlfriend and hoping her blush wasn't too obvious. Trish remained unrepentant.
"What? I'm just curious."
"Garrus, I'm just curious, you were with C-Sec, is it legal for a spectre to sew someone's mouth shut?"
Trish grinned, completely unfazed by her partner's threat.
"Aww am I embarrassing you sweetheart? Think it through a moment, if you sewed my mouth shut I wouldn't be able to do this." The civilian planted a series of light kisses on her jaw and neck much to the Normandy crew's entertainment, the commander huffing in defeat.
"Uhh, ma'am? We're going to be late for your meeting with Dantius."
"Like I owe that bitch the courtesy of being on time." Shepard grumbled, going from amused discomfort to righteous anger in a second flat. "Garrus, is it legal for a spectre to wring that lying cow's sodding neck?"
Trish was surprised by the amount of vehemence in her partner's voice but remained silent. She wasn't aware of the facts and in her experience if Nikki was pissed off she probably had a good reason.
"Grey area Commander. It's not officially legal per se, but you wouldn't be prosecuted for it. I'd advise against doing it in the embassy lounge though, it wouldn't help the other species' opinion of humanity being violent bullies."
"Noted."
"Do I even want to know?" Trish asked, Nikki calming slightly as she turned towards her with a tense smile. She offered her arm out for the civilian to hold so they could resume walking as she explained.
"She seems to think my squad are acceptable collateral damage. I don't."
...
"I still think you'd be better off with a Logic Arrest, Tali. Nexus shield enhancements are years behind the curve."
The commander rolled her eyes but said nothing, not willing to risk drawing attention to herself when everybody seemed quite content talking about something other than her. Ever since the suit breach on Sharjila during the 'Dantius disaster' Kaidan had been trying to get the quarian to change omni-tools.
Shepard appreciated his obvious concern for the youngster but wasn't convinced a different tool would have made a difference.
"You could get round that if you overclock the microframe though." Trish piped up from Shepard's side.
"Exactly! That's what I keep trying to tell everybody." Tali exclaimed. "I'm running multiple attack processes simultaneously, nothing comes close to outperforming the Nexus."
"Well... the Savant blows everything else out of the water, but it's almost impossible to get on Serrice Council's approved customer list." Trish amended, not even bothering to bring her own product into the mix.
The Polaris may have been the best human made omni-tool in the galaxy, but even she'd admit that for sheer processing power the Nexus had it beat. It probably had something to do with the fact that R&D teams for asari companies had millennia of experience between them.
"Blow out the water?"
Nikki smiled as her girlfriend explained the human idiom to the quarian before they entered a conversation in universal tech speak that the rest of the humans present had no hope of understanding.
...
"Tarc! Is that who I think it is?"
Nikki nodded unhappily at the turian's question.
"Yeah, anybody volunteering to be decoy?"
Trish looked around the bustling street in confusion, trying to figure out who the Normandy crew were talking about as they all declined the job offer.
"Sorry Shepard, he knows all of us."
"Who knows what? What's going on?" The civilian asked, instantly regretting it when everybody's eyes snapped to her.
"Trish, babe... you know you love me?"
Every second of every day, but right now I'm not so sure.
"I don't suppose you could go over there and distract that nice gentleman while we sneak past?"
"Which gentleman?"
"The blond with the goatee."
"Why?"
"Because it's me and I'm asking nicely?" Nikki wheedled, with full on puppy dog eyes.
"No, I mean why does a spectre, a former C-Sec officer, a krogan battlemaster and two Alliance marines need to sneak past someone?"
"Can I maybe tell you later? Like, after you've distracted him and we're no longer anywhere near here."
"Just tell me one thing, is this dangerous?"
Nikki's horrified protest of: 'of course not!' was drowned out by Wrex's booming laughter.
"Dangerous? That little pyjak!"
The noise cut across the busy marketplace, people of all species pausing to glance over, including the one specific human they had been trying to avoid.
"Commander? Commander Shepard!"
"Damn it Wrex! Scatter!"
Trish glanced round at the rapidly emptying space around her in bemusement, her girlfriend jogging back over to grab her hand and plead: "Babe, run."
They were too late however, the mystery man finally reached them and a look of abject despair crossed Shepard's features as she closed her eyes in defeat. Opening them again she plastered a fake smile on her face as she turned round to confront her nemesis.
"Conrad, my main man and biggest fan! How can I help you?"
Over on the far side of the market the rest of the squad reformed. Considering the distance Trish may have imagined the grins on their faces, but there was no doubting the cheeky wave from Garrus.
...
"Do you get that a lot?" Trish asked when they were finally on their way again. She was still trying to process exactly what had just happened and silently vowed then and there that, whenever they were in public, she would obey Nicola's strangest requests without question.
"Sometimes. So far since being made spectre I have met eight 'biggest fans', three 'No. 1 fans' and a batarian who calls me 'demi-god of the demi-eyes'. Conrad's probably the most persistent though."
"I don't know how you tolerate the freaks, if it was me I'd probably try and scare them off." Ash admitted.
"Nah, not worth the PR headache. They might have a few screws loose but they're harmless enough. Finally, we're here." They stopped outside an Avina terminal close to a rather worried looking receptionist.
"Hmm, probably best if we don't all go in, they might think we're an invasion force pulling a coup. Wrex and Garrus with me, the rest of you hang out round here." Shepard paused, turning to address her girlfriend but Trish spoke first.
"Really? You don't want to look like an invasion so you're taking Garrus and Wrex?"
The spectre shrugged.
"Garrus can warn me if I'm about to break any unique or bizarre Citadel by-laws and I just love watching the faces of those stuck up snobs when I bring a krogan into their exclusive clubs."
Trish couldn't help but smile at the reasoning.
"What about you? You still happy hanging around with this lot or do you want to head off and I'll meet up with you tonight?"
"No, I don't mind hanging around. Besides, me and Tali are brainstorming something."
"Already? Ah whatever, have fun. Just do me a favour and try not to completely destroy my squad's respect for me while I'm gone."
"Promise, I'll leave the last little shred until you get back."
"Why thank you." A kiss and a wink and Nikki was striding away. Trish enjoying the sight for as long as possible before turning back to the strange collection of individuals.
...
"Well, that could have gone better and it could have gone worse." Shepard philosophised as they headed back to the others.
She smiled when she saw Tali and Ash talking together. Despite her previous reservations and long held prejudices Williams was getting on much better with the aliens on the crew, particularly the young quarian who she had started treating like another little sister. Tali for her part absolutely loved listening to anyone telling stories involving siblings.
Next to them Kaidan and Liara were talking about biotics. At least, Shepard assumed it was about biotics, if it was about her she was sure her girlfriend would be involved in the conversation. She frowned as she realised the final human was missing.
"Where's Trish?"
"She asked for a moment alone." Ash answered, tilting her head in the relevant direction and Nikki's eyes followed to find her partner standing looking out over the presidium lake.
"What? Why?"
Williams simply shrugged but Shepard connected the dots herself a moment later as she overheard a man and woman arguing about their unborn child nearby.
"How long have they been there?"
"A while." Ash must have caught the implied question in the commander's glare because she clarified a second later: "Since before Trish left." Williams was surprised when, without another word, the spectre decided to march over to the two loud humans.
"It's less dangerous than the genetic enhancements that every soldier in the Alliance receives!" The man was ranting.
"You know you two should stop arguing and try actually listening to each other." Shepard butted in, not caring if her unsolicited intervention was considered socially unacceptable.
"Excuse me! Who are you?"
"Commander Shepard, but that's irrelevant. What's important is that you are both claiming to want what's best for the baby but all this shouting and stress... That ain't best for it."
"Perhaps you can talk some sense into her." The man, Michael, appealed to the commander in the frustrated tones of someone who's tried every argument they can think of, before filling her in on the situation as if she and half the presidium hadn't already heard the deeply personal conversation.
"There's a chance of the baby developing the same heart condition that killed my brother, undergoing routine gene therapy in utero can eliminate it but my sister-in-law refuses to listen."
"Well it's her baby and her body, I'm sorry but that makes it her choice."
"It's a stupid choice! She's too consumed with grief to think rationally right now, and her 'emotions' are going to hurt this baby."
"Not necessarily, what kind of odds are we talking here?"
"There's a one in fifty chance of the baby developing the heart condition, compared to at most a one in three hundred chance of something going wrong with the gene therapy. You can't argue against the facts! It is six times more likely for there to be a problem if she doesn't do the therapy." Michael explained only to be countered by his sister-in-law:
"Don't you understand? So what if he's more likely to develop the condition? If he does then there are medical treatments available, but if my baby is that one in three hundred I'll always wonder if I killed him for nothing!"
There was a tightness in Nikki's throat as she finally managed to get back into the conversation:
"I do understand Rebekah, that kind of guilt can eat a person up inside whether they deserve it or not. The two of you need to sit down with a gene therapist and a heart specialist and go through this in a much calmer setting. It's your choice and in the end it doesn't matter if you go with your head or your heart, all you can do is choose what you think is best. But what you need to understand, no matter how hard and horrifying it sounds, is that it is possible to do everything right, everything, and still lose a child for no other reason than the universe sucks!"
Her voice broke towards the end, the ache in her heart at old memories rising to the surface visible as pain in her eyes. The force of emotion took the two redheads by surprise, grasping each other's hand for support.
"Thank you." Rebekah breathed quietly and Shepard nodded before turning away to find her whole squad watching her, their own conversations long since ceased.
"You guys go on ahead to the restaurant. I'll catch up."
There were varying lengths of uncertainty before people turned away, shocked at what they had just learned about their commander and internally debating how to show their support but coming up blank.
While they could sympathise with her position, they could only imagine what it was like, Wrex the only one among them to have experienced the same feeling.
To have had the highs and hopes of expected parenthood dashed in the cruelest of fashions.
Yet the krogan didn't waste time attempting to come up with comforting sentiments, knowing no words would make a difference. He gave the spectre the slightest incline of his head in acknowledgment before herding the others away with a call of:
"Come on, I'm hungry."
Meanwhile Shepard turned, heading towards the railings by the presidium lake.
"It's me." She warned softly as she approached Trish from behind, loosely wrapping her arms around her partner's waist but making sure her grasp was easy enough to break out of, waiting until Trish relaxed and leant back into her before she tightened her embrace into a supportive hug.
"Sorry, I don't mean to be a downer." Trish whispered only to feel Nikki shaking her head.
"It's ok." The spectre issued her partner with a chaste kiss to the shoulder.
"It's just-..." The civilian trailed off, unable to find the words capable of doing her thoughts and feelings justice.
"I know. I miss him too." Nikki squeezed reassuringly, they stood in melancholic silence a moment before Shepard mused: "He'd be starting school this year."
"Yeah... I wonder if he would've liked it."
"You're kidding right?" Nick asked softly. "With your brains? There's no question about it." There was a light chuckle in response.
"Do you..." Trish hesitated. "Do you ever think about trying again?"
The spectre's grip unconsciously tightened a fraction.
"What, about trying to get an education? You saying you think I should go back to school?" She teased, deliberately trying to deflect away from the serious conversation with humour.
"No." Trish spun round to face her, gazing into those deep chocolate eyes in the hope of discerning an honest answer as she clarified beyond any shadow of a doubt: "Try again for a kid?"
"Yeah, I've thought about it." Nick admitted after a moment's silence. She glanced away but not before the civilian caught sight of the look of longing mixed with... something else.
"And?" Trish pressed, bringing her hand up to her partner's face to gently force her back into eye contact.
"Truthfully?"
Trish nodded and the spectre sighed.
"...I'm scared... I want to babe, I really do, but... After everything with Thomas... I don't know if I could go through that again if anything went wrong."
"Yeah... I used to think that too."
"Used to?"
"Yes, but then I remembered something a wise woman once told me. She said I shouldn't let fear hold me back from something awesome."
A faint smile graced the soldier's lips as she remembered the conversation from what felt like a lifetime ago.
"A wise woman you say?"
"Well... The words were wise at least, I'm not so sure about the woman." Trish teased, earning a deeper smile.
Nikki leant their foreheads together, entwining their fingers. She'd always been wary of raising the subject of children with Trish after Thomas's death. Knowing no matter how bad the experience had been for her, it had been far worse for her partner, but if Trish had truly come to terms with events and was willing to take the risk... Well then:
"Maybe I should think about it some more."