I have a son. The thought still seemed a little surreal as Nikki sat in the passenger seat of the skycar. Even though she'd completed her side of the baby making process, somehow she'd never really considered the possibility, and now she had a flood of emotions battling for dominance inside her. Joy and fear appeared to be the strongest, although neither seemed quite able to conquer the other.

Joy's constant mantra of 'I have a son', up against a barrage of questions from fear: What if he doesn't like me? What if I do something wrong? What if I make him a target? What if I drop him? Of course she'd held a baby before but that was years ago and it had been Kevin. It hadn't mattered if she'd dropped her younger brother, she'd had plenty of brothers, but this was her son. There was only one of him and he was important. The most important person in the world... Except maybe Trish... Ok, that was tricky... Most important boy in the world. There, sorted.

She glanced at Trish out the corner of her eye and saw a slight smile on the driver's face. Nick suddenly realised her knee was bouncing with nervous energy and slammed her heel to the floor to stop it, Trish's lips twitched in amusement and the spectre didn't even notice when her hand reached up to rub her eyebrow.

She did however notice the changing scenery below, the familiar sight of home. Was she even allowed to call it that anymore? She forced the doubts out her mind as they landed, Judy wandering off to check the garden hadn't changed in her brief absence while Trish led Nikki through a new gate into next door's yard.

"Mama!" Nicola's breath caught at the sight of the miniature carbon copy of herself waddling unsteadily towards Trish. Part of her wanted to rush forward before he fell and hurt himself but none of the other adults present seemed concerned so she simply watched in amazement as he reached his target, gesturing to be picked up. Trish was more than happy to comply, but the commander missed what she said as her attention was pulled away by the sound of a disbelieving: 'Nikki?!' and she turned with a grin towards her neighbour.

"Hi Ben. How's things?"

"You? You-" The smirk was quickly wiped off Shepard's face as a punch connected with her jaw, her own fist instinctively clenching in response and she only just managed to prevent herself from swinging back in retaliation.

"What the fuck was that for-... Ow!" Her angry glare turned to a look of betrayal as Trish slapped her lightly on the arm.

"Language." She admonished and that was enough to get the soldier's attention back to their reason for being here, gaze instantly softening as it landed on the child now being returned to the ground and Shepard quickly crouched down to his level. "Nicky, this is Nick. She's your... Opie." Nicola heard the moment's hesitation before Trish used the title they'd talked about so long ago, and was instantly bombarded with more questions.

Did she even tell him about me before? Maybe she used a different word for me in the past and is only using opie to make me happy now I'm back? What if they called Melissa opie? I hope not. I wonder if she has a title? She better not have been using mine.

"Hi there little man." Nikki was privately pleased that she managed coherent words but her namesake simply blinked owlishly at her. Now what? Should I wave? Pick him up? Hug? Shake hands. No, my whole hand's too big, finger?

Before she could make up her mind, the toddler broke away from the assorted humans with a cheerful cry of: 'Ju-ey!' Flinging himself around his four legged friend's neck as the dog finally decided to join them. Trish gave an apologetic look to the spectre, Nikki offering a sad but understanding smile in reply.

Well, Jude is more interesting than me, I don't have a tail to play with. Although... Sometimes on missions it feels like I'm chasing my own tail.

...

"Unca Ben, towy!" The miniature brown eyed terror demanded, pushing against his victim's leg. Their friend, neighbour and technically the biological father of their child even if only by donation, had calmed down and apologised after Trish explained that Nikki really didn't have a choice in the 'staying out of contact for two years and putting everyone through hell by letting them think she's dead' department.

Nicola wasn't entirely sure if Trish had told him the truth or made an excuse up, she'd been far more interested in watching her son play than listening to the adults' conversation. Now the tiny tot was bored of his toys.

"Sorry Little Nicky, I've got to go. Why don't you ask your opie for a story." After a bit more prodding, Nicholas sensed he wasn't going to get Ben to change his mind and shambled off.

"Mama, towy!"

"Why don't you ask your opie, I'm sure she'll read you a story." Trish repeated Ben's suggestion despite clearly wanting to read to him herself, this time pointing Nikki out to avoid confusion. The commander held her breath as puppy dog eyes turned to stare at her, seemingly getting larger and larger as he toddled toward her.

"Towy!"

"Sure. What towy- story, would you like?"

Five minutes later Nicola found herself sat with babe in lap, datapad in hand, working her way through a veritable zoo of animal noises. She was doing well until her impersonation of a pyjak was met with a devastated: "No! Pie-ack!"

"It is a pyjak! Listen." She was pretty certain Nicholas had never seen a pyjak in real life. She was also certain she knew what noise they made. She must have chased hundreds of the damn things on Eletania in search of the missing data module from that downed probe for Hackett (She may have left a few details off her after action report on that mission. No one needed to know she'd been given that long a runaround by frigging space monkeys).

Unfortunately her imitation still wasn't Nicky approved even when she tried a few different variations, all meeting with the same criticism until Trish came to investigate the disturbance and taught her the 'correct' (sounds nothing like a sodding pyjak) noise to use. After that Trish stuck around to help with a few of the more complicated sounds.

"Come on Nick, now you're just being awkward. Everybody knows dogs go 'woof'."

"Really? When was the last time you heard Judy say 'woof'? She doesn't. It's more like a 'ra ra roo' sound."

"Wa wa woo!" Nicholas did his best to copy, bringing a smile to both parents' faces and a mischievous twinkle to the N7's eyes.

"See, he gets it." Nikki declared, kissing the top of his head and flicking the datapad to the next page as she continued reading. By the time she finished the story Nicky was fast asleep, Trish helping to get him in bed without reawakening.

"Thanks for letting me see him." The awkward uncertainness was suddenly back as they stood in the hallway between rooms.

"Anytime. No matter what happens he's still your son Nick."

"Yeah... Not exactly like I can have him alternate weekends though." The spectre sighed deeply, running a hand through her short black hair, casting one last longing look at the door. "I should go."

"You don't have to." Trish offered and Nikki paused, brown eyes analytically searching their blue counterparts for clues.

"I'm not sure me staying's a good idea Trish." She wanted to, heaven knows she'd love to stay. Unfortunately if the position was reversed and she was Melissa, she'd be suspicious if she found out about an ex sleeping over. The thought of someone else with her wife hurt like hell but she wanted Trish to be happy, and the smiling photos around the house proved that if nothing else, Melissa was capable of that.

She didn't want Trish to risk ruining that relationship without at least having time to think about what she really wanted. Besides, what kind of future could there be with a zombie on a suicide mission?

"I'm sure Nicky would love to spend some more time with you tomorrow..." There it was, one of her Top Ten original fears about becoming a parent; that someone would use her son against her. She'd just never expected it to be her wife. Nikki felt her resolve crumble as she thought about the little guy in the next room.

"Alright." Someone had to teach him more realistic animal noises after all.

...

The stars stretched out above her, a quiet beauty that made one marvel at the splendour of the universe, while at the same time reminding one of how tiny and insignificant they were in the grand scheme of the cosmos.

The silence was deafening after the noise inside the cockpit. The only sound her own laboured breathing and the faint hiss of escaping gas. Her arms flailed, delusions of serenity forgotten as she desperately tried to find the source of the suit breach to no avail.

She'd swear the frozen white planet with random contour lines of red was getting bigger, but at the same time she doubted it. It was probably just psychological. Even with the planet's gravity well she doubted she'd be moving quickly enough to be able to notice significant changes of scale in the amount of time she had left to her.

She struggled. Desperately trying to find a solution, any way to cling on to life, to see her wife once more, but deep down she knew it was hopeless. There was no way out of this, no insanely clever plan or miraculous lucky coincidence was going to save her. No script writer's hasty deus ex machina waiting for the opportune moment to reveal itself. No, when the oxygen ran out that would be it. The bright spark of her life snuffed out. Just like the brief fireballs that had exploded silently from the Normandy, quickly vanishing as the last oxygen from the ship's life support systems burnt out and the vacuum starved the hungry flames into non-existence. Inside her armour a half melted ice cube pressed against a rib, the sudden cold sensation forcing her to gasp-...

"Jude, No!" Trish hissed with quiet urgency from the doorway, but she was too late, the whining canine pressed her nose against the fitfully slumbering soldier's ribs and Nikki sat up with a gasp. Unseeing eyes flitted wildly around the room, her breathing ragged and uneven and Trish jumped into action.

"Nick look at me. It's alright, I'm here, you're safe at home." Haunted eyes snapped onto her as she cautiously approached the couch, the proffered hand grasped like a lifeline. "Focus on me, you're ok."

The process of grounding herself had become almost second nature to Shepard over the years and she automatically started working through the five senses, focusing on a detail from each of them as she struggled to control her breathing. Sound: the quiet background hum of electricals and Trish's soothing voice. Touch: the softness of Trish's hand in hers. Sight: Those intense blue eyes staring at her in concern. Smell: the faint aroma of coconut shampoo. Taste: Trish's lips as she-

"Shit, sorry!" Nikki pulled back as clarity returned with the force of a bulldozer, a new type of panic racing through her.

"Shh, it's ok." Trish soothed, one hand reaching up to the soldier's cheek in gentle caress as she leant back in again and Nikki allowed herself to get lost in the rekindled kiss. It was a slightly calmer Shepard that finally surfaced.

"Did I wake you?" Trish shook her head at the soldier's question.

"I was getting some water." She wasn't sure why they were whispering but she maintained the trend as she asked: "Was it Akuze again?"

It was Nikki's turn to shake her head as she answered without thinking: "No, Alchera."

"Al... You remember that!?" The civilian's voice was horrified, chest aching at the thought and Nikki winced as her brain caught up to her admission. It was too late to take it back now.

"Not all of it, but yeah... enough." Trish pulled the younger woman into a hug on the couch.

"I think you need to stay away from planets beginning with the letter A." It took a moment for Nikki to make the connection, then she gave a dark laugh. Trish kind of had a point. After all she'd lost her squad on Akuze, her toe on Antibaar and her life above Alchera, superstitions had developed over far less.

"Maybe. It's not like the rest of the galactic alphabet is all sunshine and roses though." Trish scoffed slightly as she leant her head against the soldier's shoulder, snuggling in close. The contact helped sooth the pain in her heart but only briefly, guilt welling up to take its place as her eyes landed on a photo of her and Melissa.

"Why'd I have to love you both?" She didn't realise the thought had escaped as a faint, barely audible whisper until Nikki shifted slightly to get a better look at her.

"You ok?"

"I don't know what to do Nick. Where are we supposed to go from here?"

"I don't know." The spectre ran her fingers comfortingly through golden brown hair before gently pulling away. "Perhaps you should start with getting that glass of water."

Trish arched a questioning eyebrow: "How's that supposed to help?"

Nikki shrugged, smirking slightly as she offered: "It'll keep you hydrated at least."

"Idiot."

"Yeah but I'm-..." your idiot. She quickly trailed off before she could finish her traditional reply. It wasn't quick enough though, she caught the flash of recognition and hint of pain that passed through blue irises in response to the words, both those said and those not.

"I don't have any of your teas, do you want some cocoa?" Apparently Trish was willing to pretend it never happened so Nikki nodded, the older woman standing to make her way to the kitchen. Nick's eyes lingered on the retreating figure, her mind supplying her with much nicer memories than her recent nightmare until she forced it back to the present. Trish wasn't hers anymore, no matter how much it hurt she needed to remember that.

She was debating whether to wait on the couch or follow her heart's desire to the kitchen when she heard a noise from upstairs. A quick mental calculation of how much Lazarus upgraded her hearing and the extra distance between the lounge and the kitchen suggested Trish probably hadn't heard and another brief internal argument had her heading for the stairs.

Her son was awake. By the look and sound of things he did not seem too impressed about that fact. Standing in the doorway Nikki suddenly realised she was woefully unprepared to deal with this. She didn't know why he was crying, she didn't know how to fix it and surely her best course of action would be to find a more qualified adult.

She took a step back. He looked up. Their eyes met, he made 'pick me up' gestures and Nikki knew she couldn't let him think she was abandoning him. She took a step forward. Then another. In seconds she was by the cot and lifting him out. He was still crying. She still had no idea what to do.

"Shh, shh, it's alright Little Nicky." She bounced him experimentally a couple of times before her mouth decided all of its own accord that it was going to try singing, the words coming out as a soft croon: "Hey Nicky you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Nicky. Hey Nicky." The wide eyed baby chortled. Nick Senior smiled. Junior burst back into tears. Nicola's smile vanished.

"No, no, no, don't do that mini-me. I don't know what you want." Nicholas didn't have the vocabulary to express his wishes just yet, or maybe he could have if Nicola was more fluent in baby speak, fortunately he found other ways of communicating. As he attempted to grab and grope her breasts through her shirt Nikki finally cottoned on. Grin reappearing as she realised her son was a true Shepard and had the stomach to prove it.

"Nice logic little guy but it doesn't quite work like that. Come on, let's find-..." She trailed off as she turned and found Trish watching them from the doorway. Highly aware of the still bawling babe at her hip, she instantly went on the defensive. "It's not... I wasn't..."

The civilian merely rolled her eyes as she stepped into the room, holding out the promised cup of cocoa. "It's fine, I'll swap you."

They carefully transferred Nicky between them but despite her best intentions, the private promises to step aside for the sake of her family's happiness, the commander couldn't help but be hit by a tide of emotions, a surge of love and desire as she watched Trish breastfeeding their son.

...

Author's note: Huge apologies for the delay in this one guys, wasn't expecting it to take quite that long. In case of any confusion, when both generations of Shepard are present then 'Nick' is used to refer to the elder Nikki (Commander Nicola Shepard) or used in plural form to signify both of them eg 'the two Nicks' or 'both Nicks'. Their son will be referred to as Nicky or Nicholas or various pet names.

As for Nikki's title, Opie (O.P - Other Parent) it is pronounced Oh-Pee not Oh-Pie because otherwise Nikki would forever be getting distracted at the thought of food.

That's it for now and hope you're still enjoying. I promise not to drag this out too long before a resolution. (Number of chapters wise, no promises regarding frequency of updates I'm afraid)