On a clear and blue day in the colorful landscape of ever-gorgeous Mushroom Kingdom, Mario examined his reflection in the mirror as he combed his hair a little more, then he placed his hat upon his head, and adjusted it right before the pudgy Italian plumber heard a knock on the door.
"Mario?" Princess Peach's voice called, "You've been in there for a while, are you okay?"
He hopped off his chair, and walked to the door, casually opening it and stepping into the hall, coming face-to-face with the Mushroom Kingdom's royal human monarch herself. "I'm okay, Peach." Mario told her, "I just wanted to-a look my best for-a my date."
"You mean your date with that nice Tifa woman?" Peach asked, "Hopefully, you'll be alright."
"Peach?!" Mario laughed, "You're-a looking at Super Mario, the plumber who stomped on-a Goombas and-a kicked down Bowser more than once to save you, I know what I'm-a doing. Plus, we're going to be spending an afternoon in-a Italy."
The Italian plumber hugged the princess, then he darted through the halls, and rushed downstairs to the great hall. Mario made his way out the front door, and found a Warp Pipe awaiting on the castle grounds. He focused on what the destination would be, then Mario leaped down the pipe with an eager "wahoo".
If anyone told Peach or Mario's brother Luigi a few years ago that the Mushroom Kingdom's number one hero would be dating the Meteor-Showering Avalanche resistance member/Seventh Heaven bartender of Final Fantasy fame, it would be worth the laugh. But no, it was real, Mario was dating the gorgeous Tifa Lockhart.
Mario twisted and flailed as he spiraled through the churning warp of space-time within the green pipe, and he folded his body together as a white light shone, and the spaghetti-loving hero emerged in a lovely Italian countryside.
"Mama mia!" Someone in a straw hat exclaimed when the Warp Pipe and Mario popped up.
"Hope I didn't give you a heart attack!" Mario tipped his hat in an apologetic manner.
Mario jumped down from the pipe and it vanished into the ground, then he took in the exotic scenery of Italy, surveying the lush hills, and the architecture of an Italian town in the distance. He was so tempted to go to Rome, and visit the ancient ruins there, and Rome was part of this country, so that didn't hurt.
But today, unfortunately, was not the day. Mario knew he was near Sardina, one of Italy's most inviting beachside locales, and Rome was miles away. Plus, she was close by, and they didn't plan on visiting Rome today.
"Oh, Mario."
The plumber turned, and there she was, coming his way with her gorgeous black hair flowing down her toned back, and wearing a lovely blue dress that accentuated her figure just perfectly. Mario's sky-blue eyes met Tifa Lockhart's brown-red pupils, and his heart pounded gently, while Tifa blew a little kiss at the humble Italian man.
"Hey, madame?" A tall Italian man walked up and took Tifa's hand, taking her and Mario by surprise, "I must say, what's with the fancy dress, are we going to a festa? If so, then I have some affascinante ideas. Perhaps we can festa together, no?"
"Keep your hands away from me, you pervert!" Tifa slapped the man on the wrist, just as he was reaching for a particular spot below her neck.
"Yeah, she's my girlfriend." Mario told the perv, "Why don't you go harass another woman in a dress or find someone else to play with, paisano?"
"Un tipo duro, eh?" The man chuckled, "Okay, then. I'll leave this woman be, in-a the courtship of Super Mario. Why aren't you dating a princess, mustache boy, is that Peach of yours seeing someone in another castle?"
"Maybe you should get-a lost before I lock YOU in another castle." Mario said, crossing his arms sternly.
The creepy man yelped and ran for it. A few people looked at the plumber with raised eyebrows, then they carried on like it was nothing. Tifa stooped over and planted a kiss of gratitude on Mario's cheek, causing his face to flush red, and the plumber started to swoon. He quickly pulled himself back into reality and held Tifa's hand, ready to start their date.
Mario and Tifa walked along the road that wound through the countryside, taking in the gorgeous Italian scenery, and Mario smiled whenever the red-white-and-green banner of Italy appeared. Given his background, he had great respect for this place, and the fact he and Tifa were on a date here felt very magical.
The two of them heard a bell, and spotted an ice cream vendor close by. The man was offering different flavors today, like most vendors did, and he held up a pink-colored ice cream with a generous smile.
"Would anyone like a Pink Romana today?" The vendor offered.
Mario pulled out some coins and waked up to the stand with Tifa following him. "I'd be happy to have the Pink Romana ice cream." The plumber said optimistically.
"Eh, it's-a Super Mario." The vendor smiled, "Great to see you today. That'll be five coins for the cone, and-a here you go."
Mario paid the man, and took the cone before giving it a lick. Tifa looked at the various types of ice cream on the menu, and settled for having the Yellow-Gray/Blue Italian double decker cone. She brought some money out of her purse near her hip, and gave it to the vendor, then she helped herself to her selected ice cream treat.
Tifa and Mario walked away from the vendor, and looked at one another while raising their cones as if they were giving a toast before they helped themselves to the treats in their hands. Mario licked every inch of his ice cream, and smiled while smacking his lips. It tasted just as good as everything else he'd eaten, and Italian ice cream was the best.
He watched Tifa licking away at her cone, eating it one inch at a time before gobbling up the first part of it. She took her time to swallow, then she dug into the other part of the cone, and Mario helped wipe some ice cream off his girlfriend's face.
The Seventh Heaven fighter thanked Mario, and they continued to feast on their treat until their cones were empty. Mario sat down on the small brick wall close by, and ate what remained of his ice cream. Tifa made herself comfortable next to him, and licked whatever was left of her cone before eating it up.
Tifa finished chewing, then she sighed, and rubbed a hand across her stomach while holding Mario's hand.
"Isn't this view so breathtaking to behold?" Tifa asked.
"It sure is, my meteor-showering princess." Mario nodded.
His nickname for her prompted the gorgeous Lockhart to giggle, and she pecked Mario on the nose, taking him by surprise. She stood up, and leaned over the wall, breathing in the fresh air, while gazing out at the horizon. Mario turned around, staring at what had gotten Tifa's attention. The sound of the ocean had already hit his ears as well.
"Mario, do you feel like hitting the beach?" Tifa looked at the plumber with a sweet smile, "From this angle, the sea looks inviting, and the weather already feels perfect for a swim."
"I guess you could say we found a new Seventh Heaven for you?" Mario commented, "Paradise is-a so nice."
His remark got a giggle from the black-haired fighter. "Mario..." Tifa said, "Let's go down to the beach for some sun, and relaxation, I think we could use a tropical scenery right now. I could use a sea breeze, a tan, and maybe we can make sand castles together."
"Okie-dokie." Mario scooped Tifa off her feet in the gentlest bridal carry ever, "Then down to-a Sardina beach we go, my meteor princess."
The couple traveled down the hill, and made it down to the beach, with nothing to trouble them aside from a rough slope. Luckily, Mario and Tifa got there safely, and they basked in the sun as they stepped onto the inviting beach, taking in the palm trees and the alluring horizon beyond the rolling waves of the sea.
Luckily, Mario had brought his swimsuit along with other outfits in his inventory, he had prepared for the chance of him and Tifa visiting the beach in Italy before their date started. The plumber carefully walked along the sandbar, and placed himself behind a cliff, then he changed out of his trademark overalls, and slipped on his red trunks with white spots.
Mario looked down at himself, and rubbed his mustache gently. He wasn't worried about his pudgy appearance, the plumber wasn't that fat, and Luigi wasn't extremely fat either. Tifa liked him already, and they had some... special plans for tonight.
"I'm ready, Mario!" Tifa called.
He already knew she'd be waiting, and Mario had let her know that he would be changing. The plumber walked out from behind his spot, and his blue eyes sparkled, his heart throbbing like cannonballs, as he gazed upon the breathtaking sight of Tifa Lockhart wearing a bikini with the theme of the Italian flag.
Tifa leaned against the cliff, arms resting behind her head, and winked at the stunned Mario.
"So, what do you think of my Italian swimsuit, my precious jumpman?" She asked.
"Mama mia, girl." Mario quipped, "And I didn't bring a camera with me."
Tifa leaned over to peck her Italian boyfriend on the nose. "I guess you really like that one so much." She said, "So, how about it, Mario?"
And the tropical fun-times got underway. Mario scooped up the bikini-clad Tifa in his arms, and they walked along the beach as they took in the view again, then they hit the sand for some fun. Mario lay back and Tifa playfully buried him up to the neck in sand, which got a laugh from the fat Italian.
When Mario protested that she was getting sand in his stache at one point, Tifa giggled, blew the sand out of his trademark mustache, and pecked him again. She dug him out of the sand, and they decided to make a sand castle.
Luckily, they had a spare pail and shovel lying about. Mario prepared the foundation, and helped Tifa begin her half of the construction. The castle wasn't going to be that big, but it would be still fun. Tifa carefully flattened the sand on the first tower she constructed, and Mario handled his side without much haste.
"Are we making a replica of Peach's Castle?" Tifa asked as she and Mario continued to assemble the beach castle.
"It's just a regular sand castle." Mario told her with a smile.
One more inch of making the sand castle later, and Tifa placed a tiny makeshift flag on top of the tower before letting Mario etch some words above the fake gate. Who could expect them to make a Mario-Tifa Castle, even if they couldn't live in it?
Mario and Tifa regarded their work, then they scooted away from it to avoid accidentally breaking their sand castle, and Mario cupped the bartender's hips while Tifa caressed his face as the Jumpman and the Final Fantasy fighter dipped into a kiss by their castle.
Now was the time to hit the water. Mario and Tifa ran to the ocean, and the latter splashed the former as soon as they were out of the dry area of the seaside. Mario splashed Tifa back, then they dove into the blue, and the couple spread their arms while kicking their legs, as Tifa and Mario swam through the Italian sea.
Orange fish swam around them, and Tifa playfully waved at Mario, who smiled sweetly at his shapely love. Tifa gave Peach a run for her money, and in so many areas of beauty. Tifa swam in to kiss Mario, then she flipped around, and swam backwards, kicking up her legs while moving her smooth arms like wings.
For a few moments, Mario froze, watching Tifa's graceful motions, and began to smile dreamily. Out of every woman he'd ran into, he didn't think someone so shapely, so curvaceous, and so attractive as Tifa Lockhart of Final Fantasy fame would be the one for him. It felt like a dream, the most magical dream that Mario ever had.
He swam after her, and rotated his body, until he was swimming on his back just as Tifa was. Mario caught up to Tifa, and they became synchronized swimmers. They rotated, doing the front stroke, and straightened themselves out with their arms forward while plumber and bartender glanced at one another with encouraging, smiling twinkles...
Just then, something took shape before them, slowly approaching Mario and Tifa. The couple stopped swimming, and watched as a massive tentacle came in their direction. Mario looked up, and his eyes widened, then he took Tifa's hand and they swam for the surface before the tentacle got closer.
And they saw it, a massive Blooper with swirling tentacles, as it spat ink in various directions. The large squid-looking creature made a snarling noise, and it's body seemed to spasm, making it look like it was writhing in agony... unless it was trying to intimidate it's two victims-to-be.
"Gooper Blooper!" Mario exclaimed, "That thing is-a hungry today! Get-a behind me, Tifa!"
"Wait..." Tifa held up a hand.
Gooper Blooper got closer and then, Tifa swam forward, and reached out to touch one of the large Blooper's tentacles. Mario watched with shock, watching as his girlfriend held the creature's thrashing tentacle, even as ink shot over Tifa's head. To Mario's surprise, she began to rub the tentacle gently.
"Take the other tentacle." Tifa told the plumber, ducking her head as another tentacle swung over her and Mario's direction.
Mario was surprised. He looked at Gooper Blooper, seeing the menace in it's eyes as it glared at him, and then he looked at Tifa, who was showing kindness to this creature. Mario swam around the large Blooper's body, and grabbed one of the other tentacles. He watched Tifa rubbing the first tentacle, then he began to rub the other, gently and slowly.
"This creature's stressed..." Tifa told Mario, "Something upset it, and the poor thing just needed some comfort."
"Eh, Tifa?" Mario raised a hand, "Bloopers are... usually not that friendly, and I've encountered this thing before. I didn't think it was actually friendly, and that you'd calm it down by rubbing it's tentacles."
Tifa hugged Blooper Glooper's tentacle, and continued to rub it, seemingly ignoring Mario's remark. Mario looked at the big Blooper, who seemed to have calmed down, and he kept stroking it's other tentacle. And then, cautiously, Mario hugged Gooper Blooper, and so did Tifa. The creature made a calm warble sound, and hugged them back.
Its tentacles folded around the couple, and Mario swam closer to Tifa. The meteor-showering fighter pat the creature on the beak, then she looped her arm around Mario's neck. Mario's mouth opened into a clean-teethed smile, and Tifa smooched his nose. And then, they embraced in a long tender kiss by the Italian beach in the Blooper's embrace...
The End