When the two had returned to Tal earlier and the women saw that Zim looked like someone tore off his PAK and went tens rounds on his ass with it, most were horrified. Tak was impassive.
When Zim told them it was Mandy, most of them looked three seconds away from ripping her to pieces. Tak merely smiled.
When he stopped them with a chuckle and said he deserved it, most them balked at him and asked why. Tak...was actually curious too.
And when he told them why?
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"
All of them nearly died from laughing so hard while Mandy blushed and growled at them from embarrassment. She stayed away from them all until Tal had dropped her off at her house so she could get ready for her and Zim's dinner date. Zim, who had been taken to a small part of Tal by Gaz for them to have some privacy, was peacefully lying on Gaz's lap after she had bandaged him up, the both of them sitting on a bed and in nothing but their underwear.
"You, Zim, are either the bravest or dumbest creature in the entire universe to pull a stunt like that." Gaz chuckled as she gently rubbed a spot on Zim's head that wasn't injured.
"I know." Zim chuckled before wincing, his smile not faltering at all. "Still, with the way she kept telling me to do this and that, I wanted to have a little fun with her. I'm actually surprised she lasted the whole movie."
"Was it that bad?" Gaz asked.
"Tal. Call my phone." he ordered as he quickly placed the device next to her womanhood.
BZZZZZ!
Gaz's whole body spasmed as what felt like a thousand tuning forks hit her, making her flail and kick and causing herself, Zim and the phone to fly off the bed.
"Ow." Zim groaned while Gaz gasped and grabbed the vibrating phone.
"She spent two and a half hours with this against herself?!" Gaz yelled with wide eyes and a blush before answering it to make it shut off. "Holy shit!"
"Yeah. I was impressed she lasted that long." Zim commented as he stood up. "She didn't whimper, but she sure squirmed."
"I'd say that you were being cruel, but she's done a whole lot worse." Gaz chuckled after the shock wore off. "Still, you should be careful. She's also a vindictive bitch."
"Let's just hope that this-" he said as he gestured to his injuries. "-was the bulk of it."
"For your sake, it better be. Now go get ready for your date." Gaz said with a snap of her fingers, making Tal take Zim away to nurse his wounds and get dressed. She was silent as she sat alone in the room before looking down at the phone still in her hand, a smile slowly coming to her lips.
Chez Le Snooty was the finest eating establishment in all of Endsville with standards far above other five star restaurants. The atmosphere? Grand. The food? Divine. The background music from the live orchestra? Filled the room with classical music. The staff? Apart from some of them having a stuck up attitude, they were prim, proper, and kept good posture.
And it was at this restaurant that a long stretch limo had driven up to before one of the staff opened the door, letting two of it's occupants out.
Mandy was now sporting an elegant strapless pink dress with matching opera gloves and high heels. Her hair was the same, headband and all, but now she wore diamond studded earrings.
Zim was wearing a three-piece suit that was the same color of his irken uniform. He was also wearing a fancy watch just for looks and wore a wig that had his usual cowlick hang over his face and a ponytail in the back.
All in all, the two of them looked very classy.
"You sure you can walk by yourself?" Mandy whispered to him. "I was trying to break bones after all."
"I know." Zim huffed before smirking. "Honestly, it reminded me of when I was training to be an Invader. Felt a little nostalgic."
"Then after this is all over, I'll help you relive more of those nostalgic moments." she said, her grip tightening around her purse string. Zim surpressed the urge to swallow the lump in his throat as they walked up to the doorman. "We have a reservation under Zim Ovirk."
"Hmm." the man hummed as he read his list before finding the name. "Ah. Here it is. Dinner reservation for two at 7:30 P.M." the man said in a French accent as he undid the red rope. "Right this way. Someone shall show you to your seats."
"Thank you, my good man." Zim said before slipping him a sizeable tip.
"No, thank you." he said with a small smile as Zim and Mandy walked in. Mandy kept a straight face while Zim's eyes darted here and there, taking in the classy...everything around him.
"Ah, Mandy." said a man in a tuxedo, well kept hair and large smile as he approached the two of them. "How nice of you to grace our establishment." he said before looking down at Zim. "And this must be your boyfriend, Zim Ovirk?"
"That's right." Mandy said. "Is our table ready?"
"Ready and waiting. Follow me." he said before he walked off, with Gaz and Mandy following him.
"He doesn't look afraid of you." Zim muttered.
"I like to have a good relationship with a few places." Mandy answered. The two were shortly seated at a table in the center of the large room, a lit candelabra in the center of the table.
"Here are you menus. I'll be back soon to personally take your orders." he said as he handed them their menus. "Ta ta for now!" he said before walking off.
"Yikes. And I thought the food at the movie theater was expensive." Zim said as he took a closer look at the prices.
"Why do you care? You're the CEO of a massive company with connections to a lot of rich and powerful people. The cost of this food wouldn't even scratch your bank account." Mandy said as she considered what to order.
"Doesn't mean I wish to go crazy and spend it all like there's no tomorrow." Zim said in a flat tone. The two looked over the menus and found what they wanted before closing them. After that...came an uncomfortable silence. "So...where did we leave off earlier?" Zim asked. "We talked about our childhoods and such and our businesses. Anything else while we wait?"
"Hmm...stories?" Mandy said with a shrug.
"That works. What haven't we talked about?" Zim asked.
-Minutes Later-
"So your friend Billy had this odd dream about kids being able to make rocket ships and weapons and battling adults and having a base on the moon?" Zim asked while trying not to burst into laughter.
"Yeah. He told me once. Said I took it over for a while before being thwarted when Billy's dad took his lucky pants back." Mandy finished before huffing. "If it had been real, then I wouldn't have gone down so easily."
"At least not as easily as your pants." Zim snickered.
"Keep talking, Mr. I-plunged-my-homeworld-into-darkness-multiple-times." Mandy countered before the host came back.
"Have you decided?" he asked, notepad in hand.
"I'll have the Lyonnaise Salad for an appetizer and the Coq Au Vin for my main course. As for dessert...surprise me." Mandy ordered.
"A grand choice, Mademoiselle." he said as he wrote it down before turning to Zim. "And you, Monsieur?"
"I'll have the Potatoes au Gratin for my appetizer and the Bouillabaisse." Zim ordered.
"Right away." the host said as he wrote it down and put his notepad away. "You orders will be brought to you soon." he said before walking away, leaving the two alone again.
"What was it that you whispered to him?" Zim asked.
"You'll see." Mandy said before gently holding the stud in her left ear. "Any sign of him?"
"Haven't seen Irwin." came Lily's voice from the tiny microphone in the ear bud. "Most of us are keeping watch around the block. He's not getting into the restaurant so easily."
"Most of you?" Zim whispered into one of his cufflinks as he tented his fingers and rested his chin on them.
"Gaz is having fun with your phone." came Lucy's voice, sounding even flatter than usual. Mandy suppressed a shudder at that while Zim smirked before Mandy gently shook her head.
"Keep an eye out. If you see him, tie him down." Mandy ordered.
"Got it." Lynn chuckled over the radio, the sound of knuckles cracking coming over before they hung up.
"Maybe we'll get lucky and have at least one part of this date uninterrupted." Zim said with a smile.
"Wouldn't bet on it." Mandy sighed as she turned towards the musicians playing a soft classical song.
"You know, I've been wondering something." Zim spoke up, making her turn her eyes towards him. "Why are you trying all this? All you needed to do was say that I'm your boyfriend. Wouldn't that have been enough to nullify the contract?"
"I'm not taking any chances." Mandy grumbled before facing him. "The contract is not only bound legally. Grim used his magic on it when he signed as a witness, making it impossible to break unless I got myself a boyfriend."
"I thought you said that you guys actually cared for each other. Why would he do that to you?" Zim asked.
"I gave his robe to Billy to play tug-o-war with my dog, Saliva. He was furious and decided to get even. Before I could make him undo anything, this whole thing with the underworld suing me started, meaning I couldn't get Grim to try and undo the magic." Mandy explained. Zim just looked at her before snickering, his head resting on his arms on the table. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up."
"I'm sorry. It's just...the timing is too perfect." Zim chortled. "With the contract and then the lawsuit and...it's just too...hahaha." Zim got out between his laughter. Mandy growled at him but recomposed herself when the host came back, a chef with a large mustache that covered his face walking behind him and pushing a cart with dishes covered in silver dome covers and a bottle of wine in an ice bucket on top of it.
"Dinner is served." the host said as he and the chef set the dishes and wine glasses out. Zim and Mandy watched as they put it all into place before removing the domes, allowing them to see their orders.
"This all looks delicious." Zim complimented as he looked at his meal.
"Thank you. I've put my all, and more, into your dishes. I hope you two will enjoy." the chef said through his thick mustache before turning towards Mandy. "Especially you, Mademoiselle. Would you mind if I stay for a moment? I wish to hear your opinion on my food."
"Yeah...sure." Mandy said with a slight glare.
"And for tonight's drink, a vintage bottle of Dom Perignon from 1937." the host explained before he popped the cork and poured the drinks. "Bon appétit." he said with a bow as he began to leave, but stopped and leaned down towards Mandy's ear. "And your dessert is being prepared as we speak, Madame."
"Thank you." Mandy said in a neutral voice. With that, the host left three of them alone.
"Wanna toast?" Mandy asked while raising her glass.
"To what?" Zim asked.
"Anything at this point." Mandy shrugged.
"Hmm...I know." Zim said before raising his glass. "A toast to you getting Irwin off your back."
"And to you keeping your people from dying out." Mandy followed before their glasses met, a soft 'ting' coming from them.
"Cheers." they said before Zim brought the drink to his lips.
"One question before we eat though." Mandy said before the glass touched his lips.
"What is it, Madame?" the chef asked.
"What did you put into the food, Irwin?" she asked, making the chef jump in shock.
"I-I-I have no idea what you're-I mean...who's Irwin?!" the chef quickly said in denial.
BAM
Zim winced when Mandy slammed the chef's face onto the table, making him fall over onto the ground and knock his mustache off, revealing a dazed Irwin.
"That hurt, yo." he slurred as the birds circled his head. The commotion caused the musicians to stop as everyone's attention turned to the three.
"You are really annoying." Mandy said in anger. "You've spied on me all day throughout my whole date with my boyfriend to the point that I couldn't enjoy it at all because of you staring at me like a pervert."
Some gasps and mutters of 'I say' came from the people watching.
"Well...I wouldn't have to do all this...if you didn't weasel out of the contract." Irwin countered after getting his senses back in order.
"I'm not weaseling out of anything. If I didn't have a boyfriend, then something would've happened." Mandy explained. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to at least try to enjoy the dessert I ordered for later, so go away."
"Yeah, get lost creep." Zim added.
"You stay out of this!" Irwin snapped in anger as he got to his feet. "This is all your fault anyway! If you hadn't of shown up today, everything would've been perfect! After ten long years of waiting, I was finally going to make Mandy mine! And because of that contract, she wouldn't have been able to say no!"
"Well it's long past noon and the contract hasn't reacted, meaning that it's no longer of any use to you and I don't have to be your girlfriend." Mandy stated.
"I refuse to believe that! You must've pulled some kind of trick to get out of it! I wouldn't put it past you to pull some kind of stunt like you tried to do with those other men you wanted to have as a boyfriend for a day." Irwin growled.
"There was nothing in the contract against doing so, so I didn't breach-"
"I KNOW THAT!" Irwin roared, cutting Mandy off as he got to his feet. "I'VE KNOWN FOR TEN LONG YEARS THAT YOU'VE TRIED TO GET OTHER MEN TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND, EVEN IF YOU PLANNED TO THROW THEM AWAY LATER! WHY DO YOU THINK I'VE SPENT THE LAST TEN YEARS GETTING ALL OF THEM OUT OF THE WAY?!"
"You what?" Mandy asked in surprised shock.
"THAT'S RIGHT! EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT YOU'VE TRIED TO HAVE AS YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR HAVE A DAY HAVE BEEN STOPPED BY ME! I HAD THEM BEATEN UP BY SPERG AND OTHER THUGS, LEFT THREATENING MESSAGES ON THEIR PHONES EVERYWHERE THEY WENT, AND EVEN FLAT OUT SENT SOME TO THE HOSPITAL ONE WAY OR THE OTHER! IN FACT, I'VE EVEN PUT ENOUGH POISON IN ZIM'S MEAL TO KILL AN OX!" Irwin continued, a mad glint coming to his eyes. Many in the room gasped in horror at that revelation.
"Wait a second. You tried to kill me?!" Zim asked, causing Irwin to get in his face.
"THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR NOT ONLY TAKING MY MANDY FROM ME, BUT FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER ALL DAY!" he yelled.
"What are you talking about?" Mandy asked as she stood out of her seat, an action Zim copied.
"DON'T PLAY DUMB! I SAW HIM RUBBING SUNSCREEN ON YOUR BUTT AT THE BEACH! AND AT THE MOVIES, YOU NOT ONLY LET HIM SIT ON YOUR LAP, BUT YOU LET HIM USE YOUR BOSSOM AS A PILLOW! THAT'S THE KIND OF STUFF THAT I SHOULD'VE GOTTEN TO DO, BUT HE TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME! I SHOULD BE YOUR BOYFRIEND AND ALLOWED TO DO ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF WITH YOU, NO SOME LITTLE GREEN OVERGROWN BOOG-GACAKAAAHACKKK!"
Whatever else he was about to say got lost when one Zim's and Mandy's hands shot up and squeezed around Irwin's throat in a bone crunching vice grip.
"Zim, let go. I need to have a word with this idiotic bastard." Mandy warned as she tried to tug Irwin away.
"Sorry, but I'm not gonna let this jackass off easy after trying to poison me." Zim denied as he pulled Irwin towards him.
"Dessert is served." the host said with-
"NOT NOW!" the two roared, making the host run in fear and pushed the domed dessert back into the kitchen. With him gone, the two glared at one another.
"Let go!"
"No, you let go!"
"Hey." Gaz's slurred voice came over the radio. "I heard what's going on. I got an idea. Both of you end the date by taking turns on kicking his ass."
Both of them looked at each other, then at a still struggling Irwin before back at each other.
"Ladies first." Mandy said while her free hand gripped into a fist.
"Just leave me something." Zim said with an evil grin.
What happened next not only sent the people inside running, but also got Mandy and Zim banned from the restaurant for life.
Still, the symphony of Irwin's pleas for mercy and his bones being broken was not only a worthwhile trade, but was also music to their ears.
A/N: I apologize to everyone of French heritage if the name of the restaurant and it's description offended you. I honestly couldn't think of a better name or how they should act, so I went with my gut. Also, the votes aren't limited to just one woman, especially if they've already been selected. You can vote for another.