Ziva sighed as she surveyed her things spread about Gibbs' home. Suitcases and a few boxes were all she had brought with her. The rest of her things remained at her apartment. Their meeting with Vance had been brief. There was no real information on Harith other than what she'd already given them. No sightings or reports of him. The lack of information on his whereabouts wasn't a surprise to her. He'd waited this long, he wasn't likely to tip his hand. She rubbed the back of her neck not enjoying the feel of unease that thought created. It left all of them uneasy and a bit at loose ends. Collectively the team and Vance had decided the easiest way to handle the situation was to keep Ziva guarded at all times.
It hadn't been mentioned, but the echoes of Kate's loss lingered in the things unsaid. That was the only reason she could hold in her frustration at being treated like a child. Equally frustrating was the fact the team had been resigned to mostly paperwork and in house interviews. The risk of being in the field, seemed too much for Vance and the powers that be, she couldn't argue given the guilt she felt. She clenched her fist tightly around the bags she carried even as she sat them in Gibbs' bedroom.
Nico had stayed at her apartment long enough to work with McGee on installing surveillance equipment. It would give them warning should Harith seek her out. She closed her eyes trying to breathe past how out of control her life suddenly felt. It wasn't surprising that when she opened her eyes Gibbs was watching her.
He sat casually on the end of his bed waiting for her to say something and yet she had no words. She needed something but even she couldn't name what it was. The whisper of something nagged at her as she pushed aside the luggage.
"Talk to me Ziva."
It wasn't the voice she expected not the one from work that had included her in every moment of discussion and decision. Instead it was the voice that demanded her attention and forced her eyes to his. Her breath pushed out forcefully her eyes snapping to his even as they savored the way his words forced a change in her stature.
"I am lost Jethro. My past is threatening to ruin the team, my life not to mention my sanity. And…"She couldn't say anymore voice all the emotions the previous night had left her trying to understand.
"You are not lost Ziva; you are forced to rely on us instead of just yourself. That is new and something a woman, a soldier like you isn't used to. Our team protects each and every member to the best of our ability. We have learned the hard way failure is deadly, complacency is deadly, we will not allow that when it comes to you. I would protect your life with my own as you would for me. This is not the first threat against your life Ziva. You are so strong, even when you think yourself weak; you're still stronger than anyone I've ever known. Does it cost you so much to accept our protection?"
Ziva shook her head even as she answered. "No, but it is hard as a woman to remember that."
"Look at me Ziva." Her eyes met his watered with tears and the faint hint of something unnamable. "Are you ashamed of having been with both Nico and I?" his words found their target when he watched both desire and the battle with shame in her frame.
"I do not want to be. I do not regret it but I have only known that behaving this way is wrong. I know you love me, and that you would not leave me because of what we have shared with him. But if I am being honest the worry is still there. When we are in the moment, before the intimacy even right after there is no doubt it is only later that I feel it. I cannot lose you Jethro."
Gibbs let his hands move to the collar around her neck. "I am yours Ziva, have been for longer than just the time we have admitted. The collar you wear isn't just about me owning you but about you owning me just as equally. I would marry you tomorrow if I thought it would make you feel more secure. But, I know the doubt you feel comes from somewhere far different. I am not a conventional man Ziva. At least I never wanted to be. My boundaries are far further on the edges than you might be comfortable with. I pushed them away years ago because there wasn't a woman I trusted enough to share them with" He paused stepping out of his shoes, socks and weapons before a flick of his eyes had her doing the same. Only then did he continue.
"People who don't live the life you are learning think a Dominant holds all the control. When in reality the submissive a Dom chooses is far more in control. My pleasure comes from pleasing you. Any man can get off; any man can find pleasure in making love to any woman. But someone like me needs the edge, the taboo and I need all the things most women cannot accept. I understand it and always respect those limits without regret. Then there is you. You make me want all the things I stored away and tried to forget. Your openness, willingness to let me control, to lead you could never make me want you less. Because, I've never known a woman willing to want so much. Leaving you, not wanting you is unthinkable."
He stepped back from her, a look of near fear on his face that had Ziva reaching for him even as he caught her face between his hands. "All I want Ziva, what I crave is testing every one of your limits, pushing at the boundaries hearing you call out in pleasure so intense you beg me for more. I know it's not always right. I'm not the kind of man society says is acceptable and yet it's who I truly am. This honesty I'm giving you. It makes me feel bare. More than naked it makes me afraid in front of you. Because I worry that you will look at me as a man who isn't happy being with just you. A man who is deviant, and that you will walk away from because I ask too much." It was his turn to feel the bitter burn of tears in his eyes so much so he had to look away. He took just a brief second to regain his famed control, which while used upon her was equally lost when he was with her.
Ziva felt his words brand her as surely as any burn she'd received. For a moment all she could do was savor the feel of his forehead pressed against her. "I told you my hard limits Jethro. I did my reading, as much as I can I understand. What I restricted was not as much as I would have thought. Otherwise I am yours." She kissed him before looking him in the eye again. "Aside from those few things nothing you ask of me will be refused and nor would I want to. As you say your pleasure is mine. There is so much satisfaction from doing any small thing you ask. Nico stated you do not like "humiliation" play. And while that pleases me even that I would not deny you. There is something about your control, your dominance that makes me feel more complete than I have ever known. I have never had the freedom to want anything, to be free of judgement before you. That is why I go from feeling confident one moment and so damn afraid the next"
She took in a deep breath before she smiled as she began to remove her clothing. His breathing was ragged when she was finally nude before him. With a bravery that scared her she stood as he liked only this time her eyes watched him. "Last night was far more pleasurable than I would have admitted before this moment. I enjoy your rough hands, your commands, the way you test my limits. Even more I savor not knowing what you will ask of me next. I too crave the edges, for reasons I do not understand given all I have known. I need, want the rough edges you hold back, the bite of your teeth, the hard fall of your hand. There are things I have read about but never known. I should not want to know them, not after all I have been through. Yet it is my truth. You are the only man I could share that with and not feel shame. There has never been a man I have trusted more. Not ever before you."
Gibbs felt the weight of her words slam into him even as he heard Nico open the door to his room. His friend stopped, moving to close the door when Ziva spoke. "Only leave Nico, if Jethro asks it of you." He watched then as her eyes hit the floor and she waited in total obedience for whatever he asked next.
Nico took in the look on his friends face and knew something had shifted. He couldn't say what or even guessed but it was enough that the weight of uncertainty that had lain heavy in the air the night before had dissipated. He stayed still lingering in the doorway as Gibbs face flushed with a thousand emotions. With only the lift of his hand he motioned to the bag he carried. "I brought the things you requested."
Gibbs looked at the woman in front of him. Her pride and dignity shown through in the way she patiently waited for whatever he asked. Looking at Nico he finally allowed himself to fully embrace the man Ziva seemed so proud of. "Set the bag at the end of the bed, shut the door as you come in. Ziva I want you to kneel."
Her sigh of pleasure wasn't quiet. Even as Ziva sank to her knees and waited carefully sitting she knew both men watched her. She took in those gazes letting it warm her even as her body felt the slide of desire. A hand traced the scars on her back, whip marks healed from long ago. Whose hand it was she couldn't say but it was Gibbs voice that broke through the slight bloom of pleasure. "Have you ever felt the passionate touch of a flogger Ziva."
"No sir." The clench of his fingers as she answered with a breathy sigh of lust and fingers grasping the carpet had her body pulsing with need. She heard the loud pull of a zipper against canvas, the shuffle of clothing and the scent of leather in the air. Still she kept her eyes cast down at the floor. Her pussy clenched tightly again and again with anticipation. She knew her body wept with need and there had been a time when that would have made her want to cover herself. Instead she held herself still proud of the way Gibbs could cause her to react without touching her.
Gibbs pulled the soft leather flogger from the bag. He laid it on the ground in front of Ziva. With a whisper to Nico they both stripped of their clothing. Nico stood in front of her, himself behind her. "If you wish to feel this against your back, your body, your pussy then you will pick it up and hand it to me. If you feel even the slightest hint of fear, then you will remain as you are and we will wait for another night."
He waited watching the smooth line of her back, the fall of her hair nearly to her waist. He wouldn't have bet money what she would choose. Instead he chose to wait without expectation. His cock hardened to stone when her hand picked up the softly wrapped handle and without breaking her pose handed it back toward him. Her hand didn't tremble, her eyes never lifted from the floor and he felt the strongest surge of pride. He took the flogger slowly, letting the butter soft leather strips slide slowly across her spine and further. The softest whimper escaped her throat and he looked to Nico.
With a nod Nico conveyed that the sound Ziva made was only of pleasure. He couldn't see her eyes but her hands pulled at the carpet, her pose unbroken so beautifully submissive he couldn't fight the pride that wasn't his to feel. A glance at Gibbs told him the other man knew what he was seeing.
"This is just a beginning Ziva. It will only brush the rim of pain but should you wish it to stop…."
"I will have no need of my word tonight. Already my body weeps for whatever you ask of it." Ziva heard the rush of air only seconds before she felt the fall of broken leather against her back. The faint bite of pain pushed a taboo lust through her veins. Her cry of pleasure was soft but not enough that she didn't sense both men's recognition of it.
Gibbs watched the fine ivory leather strips fall against her skin and almost came without touching her. There was no fear or regret in her gasp of pleasure. He lifted his chin feeling the power of a dominant's control as her pleasure filtered through him. "Nico wants your mouth Ziva, around his cock. I want your hands on the ground let him take your mouth as he would your body." He let the flogger fall again against her spine, watching the blush of her skin as it landed. His cock twitched when her head lifted taking Nico's cock in her mouth. "Good girl."
Again he lifted the leather, and it splayed against her buttocks, this time the fall was rougher more of a snap and he watched the sensation crawl up her spine as Nico thrust deeply in her mouth. Her thighs parted in front of him trembled, and he could see the wetness as it seeped from her. It trailed down her muscled thighs. He reached between her legs pushing one finger inside her, cock feeling like stone as her muscles clenched around that one lone finger. "You will not come Ziva unless the flogger touches your skin as you do so. I would have you learn that with every erotic pain there is pleasure."
Gibbs looked again at Nico the fight against pleasure clearly etched on his face. "Finish my friend, take her the way you wish." He heard the faint rumble of pleasure as the other man anchored a hand in Ziva's hair. His hips thrust into her mouth his head thrown back even as Ziva's hips thrust against the fingers still thrust inside her. "No Ziva you will wait. He's going to come down your throat and still you will hold back, because it is what I wish. You will not come yet." The flogger landed on her buttocks just moments before Nico came deep in her throat.
"That's it beautiful hold me tight in that silken throat of yours." Nico waited for the protest as he sank deeply in Ziva's throat. She swallowed gripping tightly as he lost himself inside her." He watched the fall of the flogger and her fight the urge to come. It was beyond sensual. He fought to hold still from thrusting even harder as he finished and pulled from her throat. "Bella that was more than beautiful." He kissed her forehead and then her mouth reminding her there was no shame in the gift she'd given.
Ziva trembled as both Nico's words and the heavy fall of the flogger fell on her. His words were a gentle balm in comparison to the now slightly sharp bite of the leather. "Jethro.." She hadn't intended to speak but again as she felt the leather bite into her skin she was forced to say his name. Her pussy clenched before rushing with wetness. His hand was there again two fingers pushing inside her as he smacked the flogger against her again and again. Sounds escaped her she hadn't known she could make, his name a mantra to every other sound.
"My body inside of you Ziva, you will come the next time the flogger lands on you. And you will allow Nico to touch you however he wishes as I do so. You will obey."
Ziva felt every nerve ending fire with lust, need and anticipation, her words came easily. "Yes sir."
Gibbs let his cock just brush her, poised ready even as his hand lifted high letting the strips of leather land far more roughly than before against her. Her cry nearly tore through him. It was the drive to sink inside her even as Nico took her mouth. The other man's fingers drifted across her clit, the risqué touch as Gibbs thrust inside her pushing their orgasm beyond coherence. The growl he gave was deafened by the cry ripped from her. Together the three of them shuddered, lost in a moment of intensity. Only when she was spent against him, barely moving was Gibbs able to move enough to hold her in his arms and move her towards the bed. A simple look at Nico had the man flicking of the soft lamp on the bedside and sliding into the bed beside Ziva.