Many of the residents of Gravity Falls were standing outside of the police station as they waited for the ones in question to appear. The only area not full of people was the line between the front door and the bus that was waiting on the road. Nobody said anything, but a few did turn when Zim, Luan and Maggie arrived.
"We miss it?" Zim asked before a woman's screaming could be heard coming from inside the police station.
"Nope. You're right on time." Lynn answered with a smile. Everyone watched as the doors opened, showing Preston and Priscilla Northwest being escorted by Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Preston was quietly glaring, while Priscilla...
"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME! AND TAKE THIS ACCURSED THING OFF MY FACE! HOW DARE YOU TREAT US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO AT ONCE!"
...was fighting tooth and nail to get free, a muzzle covering her face as she thrashed about in Durland's grip.
"Why is she wearing that?" Maggie asked.
"From what we heard, Mrs. Northwest still isn't taking her expulsion from Gravity Falls well." Lisa answered as the Northwests were escorted towards the bus.
"They brought it on themselves." Dipper huffed.
"LET US GO! OUR FAMILY FOUNDED THIS TOWN! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!" Priscilla yelled.
"Pacifica already told us the truth! You can't hide behind your lies anymore!" one resident answered as they stopped in front of the bus, the door now opened.
"So...where am I taking them?" he asked.
"As far away as this will allow." Pacifica answered as she handed the driver a wad of bills. The driver quickly flicked through it before smiling and putting it away.
"Pacifica! Please, reconsider!" Priscilla begged. "You can't do this to us! We're your parents!"
"I know. And that's the only reason why I'm giving you this." Pacifica said as she handed her mother a check. "$10,000 should be enough for you two to live on at wherever you end up. Give you plenty of time to look for a job."
"A JOB?!" Priscilla screamed in horror before fainting into Durland's arms.
"I'll just, uh...get her on the bus." Durland said before he and Blubs put the Northwests on some seats, undid their cuffs and exited. The moment the bus started, the people started to cheer. The only one silent was Pacifica, her gaze stuck upon her father's stoic glare as the bus drove off.
"Well, they're off." Mayor Cutebiker said before nodding at the sheriff, who nodded back.
"Okay, everybody! Show's over! Nothing to see here! Disperse and return to your lives!" Blubs ordered. The crowd groaned as they left, many of which were dropping rotten fruits and vegetables, leaving only Zim, his harem, Mabel and Dipper.
"Where'd all the produce come from?" Maggie asked.
"We were gonna throw it at the Northwests as they left." Stan answered.
"Why didn't you?" Luan followed up.
"Because I forbade it." Mayor Cutebiker answered. "We're already kicking 'em out of town. No need to kick 'em while they're down."
"After all they did? Come on! They deserved it!" Lynn stated before she saw Pacifica grunt and walk away. "What's her deal?"
"She was the one who asked me to forbid throwing the food at her the Northwests." Cutebiker answered, stunning a lot of them.
"Seriously?" Wendy asked. "But they-"
"I know what they've done, and so does she. But despite it all, they're still her parents." Cutebiker said as they watched Pacifica's retreating form.
"I guess deep down, she still cares for them." said Lily.
"I'm gonna go talk to her." Mabel spoke up before Dipper stopped her by gently grabbing her shoulder.
"No. Best to just let her be." Dipper told her as Pacifica disappeared into the woods.
The woods were silent, save for the sounds of nature and Pacifica's footsteps. She didn't have a set destination in mind. She just wanted to keep her legs moving. Finally, after some time had passed, she sat down against a fallen log, her legs and feet aching from lack of rest. She sighed as she stared up at the blue sky, lost in her thoughts.
She wanted to be happy that her rotten parents were gone, but it still hurt to watch them go, despite all that they put her through.
"Why can't anything be simple?" she asked herself before closing her eyes. The whole ordeal just felt so draining that, even though it was still morning, she almost immediately fell asleep.
"Hey...Pacifica. Wake up."
Pacifica's eyes fluttered open to see a disguised Tak staring down at her.
"Wha...Tak?" she said in a groggy voice before sitting up and stretching. "Why are you here?"
"I came to get away from the others." Tak answered.
"Master." a disguised Mimi whispered, earning a huff from Tak.
"And...to give you this." she said as she handed something to the blonde woman.
"What is this?...A backstage pass?" Pacifica asked.
"Luan was giving them out to you and a few others that were at the Mystery Shack yesterday. Said you earned them after her manager tricked that earthling, Soos, out of his money with a bad contract." Tak explained.
"I actually forgot about this." Pacifica admitted as she put it around her neck.
"Then I guess you also forgot that the show is two hours away?" Tak asked, making Pacifica's eyes widen.
"It is?!" she yelped before noticing how late it was. "Oh crap! How long was I out?!"
"Quite a while. Everyone felt you needed time to yourself, so they left you alone." Tak answered.
"Well, I'm glad you came for me." she said before looking away from the pass. "How'd you find me anyway?"
"I tracked you down. It was a simple task." Mimi answered.
"Oh? Well, thank you, Mimi." Pacifica said with a smile.
"Can I has a cookie?" Mimi asked, her eyes shining cyan blue for a moment before shaking her head. "GAH! Stop that!" she snapped, her eyes back to red.
"That's right. She's a robot." Pacifica said in remembrance. "What was with that...Would 'glitch' be the right word?"
"More like a virus that pops up every now and then." Tak grumbled before offering Tak her hand. "Come on. We need to get going." Pacifica nodded and took the hand before standing up and walking with the two back towards town.
"So, what kind of virus is it?" Pacifica asked.
"A stupid one. And I'm being literal." Mimi answered with a glare. "That SIR unit of Zim's just as idiotic and defective as it's master, Zim. I'll never forgive them for this!"
"What'd they do?" Pacifica asked.
"They hacked me and had Gir control me. Now, at random moments, I act as insane as he is!" Mimi answered before shuddering. "So much stupidity...flooding my circuits."
"And I can't fully remove it without wiping out Mimi's memory." Tak growled. "Not only has that pathetic defect ruined my life twice, he's corrupted Mimi as well! I just...just...GAH!" she yelled before turning to Pacifica. "If I were you, I'd reject his offer to be one of his breeders before you-" she began before suddenly pursing her lips...and blushed?
"Before I...what?" Pacifica asked. Tak looked like she'd eaten a lemon before looking away.
"Before you become addicted." she grumbled.
"Addicted?" Pacifica asked in confusion while Tak covered her face with her hands.
"My heart despises him, but my body craves for the pleasure of mating with him!" she admitted in embarrassment. "I won't go seeking him like some horny animal, but I've been wanting his dick inside me!"
"Wow. He must be good if you want him and hate him all at the same time." Pacifica chuckled before becoming curious. "How good is he?"
"I hear it's different for each women, but I will say this. If Irken mating was anything like human mating, my people have absolutely no idea what they're missing." Tak answered.
"That good, huh?" Pacifica asked before chuckling. "Well, if I do let Zim...have me, I'll at least be prepared. Now, let's get to the show." she said before eyeing her pass with a smile.
"Is Luan Loud that funny?" Tak asked.
"She's hilarious! Even her stuff when she first started out is gold!" Pacifica complimented. "And, despite meeting her in person earlier, I get to go meet her again backstage."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE NOT ALLOWED BACKSTAGE?!" Pacifica roared. After separating from Tak and Mimi, the blonde woman had joined Mabel, Dipper, Stan, Wendy and Tambry to go backstage and meet Luan before her show. Sadly, their plans were being derailed by two security guards that were keeping them, and many others, out.
"It's as I said. You can't go backstage." the smaller security guard repeated.
"But we have backstage passes! Luan Loud gave them to us herself!" Dipper stated.
"I know. She told me to let you through." said the same guard.
"Then move your ass and let us through already!" Stan ordered, only to be picked up by a much more burly guard with one hand. "Hey! Put me down!"
"Only if you all promise to leave. If not, I'm gonna have to have you detained." the smaller guard warned.
"But why?!" Mabel whined, earning a groan from the guard. "If you know they're real, why won't you let us in?!"
"Look, I want to let you in. I got no problems with the passes. I know they're legit." the small guard answered. "It's just that..."
"Mr. Dirk's orders. Absolutely no outside parties get backstage." the big guy answered.
"It's like my little brother says. Donovan gave us orders. And as much of a bastard as he is, he's the bastard that signs our checks." the small guard answered.
"Lame." Tambry huffed as she updated her status on her phone.
"Can't you guys just look the other way?" Wendy asked.
"Mr. Dirk has a 'No Tolerance' policy for slackers or lax security. We let you through, we lose our jobs." the smaller officer explained. "Sorry, but no entry." The group frowned and all turned to leave.
"Wait a minute!"
They all turned to see Luan walking up behind the guards.
"Where are you guys going?" Luan asked.
"These guys won't let us through because of your manager." Wendy answered.
"We're sorry, Miss Loud. Mr. Dirk said if we let anyone in, we're fired." the smaller guard apologized.
"Oh he did, did he?" Luan asked before smiling and looking around. "Well, I don't see him, so let them through. And before you say anything!" she started when they opened their mouths to protest. "If he asks why, tell him I threatened to go April 1st on you." They immediately shut their mouths and stepped aside. "Thank you." she said as she hugged them before gently leading her friends backstage.
"Hey! Can we come in too?!" one citizen asked with a smile.
"Sorry! VIPs only!" Luan answered as she slid the two guards back, causing them to block the way again. They got in before Luan started shaking their hands. "I'm glad you guys made it!"
"Almost didn't because of those guys." Dipper said while pointing his thumb towards the guards.
"Yeah. I really gotta talk to Donovan about easing up on everyone." Luan sighed before smiling again. "But that's later. Right now, I want you guys to meet the crew!"
The group spent a good 30 minutes meeting Luan's crew. Those who set up the lights. Those who placed and operated the cameras. Those who made sure the sound system and microphone worked properly. Even a personal chef for Luan that made them all a light meal.
"Wow. None of the things the chefs my parents hired made anything this good." Pacifica commented as she finished her ravioli.
"Well the chef I hired learned from my dad, and he owns a great restaurant." Luan boasted as she wiped her mouth.
"If that's true, I might just visit Royal Woods just to try his food." Dipper chuckled as one of the staff approached Luan.
"Miss Loud, it's 45 minutes until curtains." the man informed her.
"Well, I guess I better get ready." she said as she got up from her chair. "Care to join me?" she said to the group as she walked into her dressing room. The women followed her inside before Luan held her hand up, stopping Dipper and Stan from entering. "Women only beyond this point." she said with a smile before shutting the door.
"What good are these backstage passes if we can't go everywhere?" Stan grumbled.
"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper said with a glare.
"I'm kidding! Sheesh. Lighten up, kid." Stan placated as the two walked away.
Luan was sorting through her clothes as she, Mabel, Wendy, Tambry and Pacifica all chatted away.
"So you've not only had parts in movies, but you've also performed overseas too?" Mabel asked.
"Yep. A lot of them were fun. Some, not so much." Luan answered as she looked at her clothing options.
"You ever travel overseas when you were still...uh..." Mabel started to ask Pacifica before trailing off.
"When I was still living under my parent's thumb? Rarely, but yeah." Pacifica answered. "It was mostly them for business deals and such. I hardly got to do anything for myself when I went anyway."
"I know that feeling." Luan grunted as she picked out a pair of pants. "My rotten manager didn't factor in a lot of free time for me to enjoy myself. It was almost always work, work, work and no fun. And that's not even the worst part."
"What's the worst part?" Wendy asked.
"Ever since he became my manager, he hasn't allowed me to perform at a single birthday party!" Luan whined. "Not even for my little sisters!"
"Seriously? Why?" Tambry asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Because Donovan says that birthday gigs aren't as profitable as stand-up performances or movie parts. Even if he's right, I still want to do them." Luan huffed as she set a shirt down next to her other choice of clothing. "Does this outfit look good?" she asked as she gestured to the clothing options. A blue blazer over a white t-shirt, blue jeans and black heels.
"I like it." Wendy commented.
"Why not go as a clown?" Mabel suggested.
"Clowns are for circuses and birthday parties. I may make people laugh, but I'm still a professional." Luan said as she stripped down to her underwear. She lifted her leg to put her pants on before noticing from the mirroring that the four women were looking at her ass and blushing, making her smile as she looked over her shoulder at them. "See something you like?" she asked, making them all jump and look away while she laughed.
"Are you and all your sisters that big?" Wendy asked as Luan put her pants on.
"Pretty much. A lot of my sisters had boys lining up to ask them out as we grew up." Luan answered as she started to put her shirt on. "And all of you? And don't tell me nobody's tried. Not with how amazing you all look."
"Well, a little. That's one of the reasons we shrunk ourselves." Mabel answered.
"So you all got big again after that whole thing with the Lilliputtians, huh? And you haven't shrunk back because...?" Luan asked as she got her socks and shoes on.
"Part of it is because Mayor Cutebiker has outlawed the possession and use of the crystals." Tambry answered. "The other reason varies, but we all have pretty much lost the reason we shrunk ourselves in the first place."
"Mind if I ask what those reasons were?" Luan asked as she donned her jacket.
"It was different for each of us, but we were staving off men." Pacifica answered. "I didn't want to marry any of the men my parents wanted me to."
"I wanted to find a guy who would love me for me and not my body." Mabel answered.
"We had a bunch of guys show up to the Mayor's office saying they needed to see him, but would always wait and stare at me." Tambry sighed.
"Actually, while keeping men away is a good reason, my real reason is that my figure got in the way of me doing lumber work." Wendy admitted.
"Wow. Those are certainly some interesting reasons." Luan said with a nod.
"Yeah, but my reason's gone now." Mabel informed her.
"Found a guy you want to let have all that?" Luan asked while gesturing to Mabel's body.
"And how!" Mabel admitted.
"Who's the lucky guy?" Luan asked.
"Well, you're gonna think I'm a bad person, but...I'm hoping to get together with Zim." Mabel answered.
"Zim? You mean Gaz's boyfriend? The little green guy? That Zim?" Wendy asked.
"The very same." Mabel nodded.
"Wow. Didn't take you for the kind of girl who tries to steal her friend's boyfriend." Tambry said with a disapproving frown.
"It's not stealing if she gives the okay." Mabel countered.
"Say what?" Wendy said in surprise.
"Gaz and Zim have a special...open relationship." Mabel explained.
"Meaning that Zim is open to any women, so long as Gaz approves of them." Pacifica added.
"Are you serious?" Tambry asked with wide eyes, earning nods from both Mabel and Pacifica. "Wow. I didn't think people actually did that."
"So you're saying that Zim can have as many girlfriends as he wants as long as Gaz is okay with them?" Wendy asked.
"Yeah. Heck, all five of us here could get together with Zim if Gaz said it was okay!" Mabel answered, making Wendy and Tambry blush while she looked at Luan. "This isn't weirding you out, is it?"
"It would if Maggie and I didn't already sleep with him." Luan said without hesitation.
"Whawhowhahahahaaaaat!?" Mabel stuttered out as they all stared at her. "You mean you and Maggie-"
"Took turns riding Zim all night long~" Luan answered, her cheeks turning a little pink as she brought a finger to her lips. "Don't tell my manager."
"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Wendy spoke up. "If it's an open relationship...does that mean that all those women that were with him and Gaz are his girlfriends?!"
"Pretty much." Luan answered with a smirk. "You want in?"
"Yes!" Wendy and Tambry blurted before covering their mouths.
"T-That wasn't- I mean, I wouldn't want to go that far with him at first!" Wendy quickly said.
"...I might." Tambry confessed, her face turning redder as she buried it in her phone. She then noticed the looks she was getting from Wendy and frowned. "Hey, a girl has needs, and I've been needing for a long time!"
"You mean after you broke up with Robbie?" Pacifica asked.
"Long before that." Tambry answered with a disappointed huff.
"Trouble in bed?" Luan asked.
"I've seen toothpicks bigger than what he's got." Tambry admitted.
"Won't have that problem with Zim." said Luan.
"Oh? He that good?" Pacifica asked. Luan grinned and opened her mouth-
One of the crew knocked on Luan's door.
"Miss Loud? 10 minutes to showtime." he called out. A moment later, Luan exited with a smile.
"Thank you." she said to the man as she walked past just as Stan and Dipper returned, each munching on a snack.
"Remember Dipper. Always fill your pockets with this free food." Stan told his nephew while tucking some snacks into his pants just as Mabel and her friends came out, each of them red in the face with steam coming off them. "Either Luan's jokes made them mad, or that woman's packing something else."
Luan made her way to the curtain and took a peek out at the audience.
'Yep. Another full house.' she thought before seeing a few empty seats. 'Oh yeah. Gaz and them told me some of them couldn't make it. Hope our earlier arrangement...works...' she thought before a strange feeling flooded her body. It wasn't fear or tension. It was...something else. She quickly backed away and grabbed her suddenly aching head. 'Ow! What's going on?!' she thought as she scrunched her eyes shut. A few moments passed before the pain stopped. 'Where did that come from? And...why do I feel like my usual routine is suddenly bland? And where are all these jokes and ideas coming from?!' The more that went through her head, the bigger the smile on her face became.
"One minute, Miss Loud." a crewman whispered to her as the others hurried to get in place. Luan nodded before walking where she was needed. She could hear the audience start to applaud as the lights dimmed and a man's voice was heard.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Get ready to laugh out loud with Luaaaaan LOUD!"
"Time to make them laugh." she whispered before taking a deep breath and walking onto the stage.
"Well, as much as I don't like it, the show's nearly over. I'll have to take my leave." Luan lamented.
"Yeah, 'cause you've got a date with the gym." said Coconuts Jr., making Luan jump. "Especially for those glutes of yours."
"Would you stop talking about my butt?!" Luan snapped, causing the audience to laugh.
"How can I not? It's huge!" Coconuts Jr. stated.
"Well I can't help that it's big. After all, I got my mom's good genes." Luan said with a proud smile.
"I know. You stole them because they're the only thing that'll fit your fat ass!" Coconuts Jr. said while gesturing to her pants, making Luan blush while the audience howled with laughter.
"YOU'VE ALL BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE! THANK YOU SO MUCH! GOOD NIGHT!" Luan called out, making the audience cheer and give a standing ovation as Luan put Coconuts Jr. away and waved to them all, basking in their applause for a few moments before walking off stage. "Phew! Another successful show." she said as she was given a fresh bottle of water from a crewmen. She took a few swallows while Pacifica, Mabel, Dipper, Stan, Wendy and Tambry approached her.
"That was amazing! I couldn't stop laughing!" Mabel commented.
"Yeah. I haven't laughed that hard in ages." Stan chuckled.
"You laughed so hard, your teeth fell out." Dipper commented.
"Tambry here even put her phone away to listen." Wendy said while pointing her thumb at Tambry, who was giving a small smile.
"It was nice to laugh after all that drama from earlier." Pacifica sighed with her own smile.
"Thank you, thank you." Luan said with a bow before her phone starting to ping off the hook. She took it out to see a lot of messages being sent to her from her sisters and friends in the audience, all of them saying how funny she was. "The others all loved it too." she said with a smile.
"Too bad Soos and Melody missed it. They would've loved it." Wendy sighed.
"Actually, Lisa set up a direct feed of my show to their room in the hospital room since Melody couldn't leave." Luan informed them as she put her phone away. "Hey, I don't want to be rude after inviting you guys back here, but you should leave before my manager gets here. If he sees you backstage, he'll blow a gasket."
"Alright. Thanks for the passes." Pacifica said before Tambry took out her phone.
"The others sent a message. They said Melody and her babies are okay to leave the hospital, so she and Soos are bringing them home tonight." Tambry informed them before another message came. "And Soos and Wendy are inviting us and some others to see them if we remain quiet."
Out of all the smiling faces, Mabel's was the only one that was vibrating from happiness.
The Mystery Shack was full of people wanting to see Soos and Melody's newborn babies. As promised, they all kept their voices down as they took turns seeing the two.
"They're so cute!" Mayor Cutebiker commented as Blubs and Durland gushed at the sleeping twins before letting the next set of people see them.
"So one's a boy and one's a girl, huh?" Dipper asked Soos and Melody, who were next to the baby bed the twins were sleeping in.
"What are their names?" Mabel asked. Soos looked at Melody with a smile, who smiled back and nodded.
"Well, after a little thinking, we named them after the coolest twins we know." Soos answered, making Dipper and Mabel's eyes widen.
"You mean...?" Mabel began before Melody showed them the birth certificates of the babies.
MASON RAMIREZ
MABEL RAMIREZ
Dipper had to slap his hand over Mabel's mouth since the woman was too excited to stay quiet and screamed.
"Can I take my hand away from your mouth?" Dipper asked, earning a vigorous headshake from his sister. He frowned before smiling at Soos and Melody. "But seriously, you named them after us?"
"That's right. You two did so much for us and Gravity Falls, so we named them after you." Melody answered, making the Pines Twins smile.
"Aww, thanks." Dipper said before turning to Mabel. "Can I move my hand now?" he asked, earning a light nod before he released her.
"You two are gonna be such awesome parents!" Mabel whispered with a big grin as she looked at the sleeping babies again.
"Yeah. And as they grow up, they're gonna know both of us." Soos declared before his expression became stern. "I won't abandon them and have them know their daddy through postcards!" he promised as Luan and Maggie approached.
"Hi guys. Sorry I'm late. I was helping the crew clean up." Luan apologized before she and Maggie looked at the babies next to Zim and Gaz. "Aww. They remind me of Lana and Lola."
"Let's hope they don't fight like them." Maggie whispered to her, making her chuckle.
"I wonder what it'll be like to have a child of my own?" Zim wondered out loud.
"Hopefully, we'll know one day." Gaz said before leaning down and whispering. "But until you get me and the others pregnant, we'll just have to keep trying~" Zim's eyes widened and his cheeks reddened at that while Gaz stood back up and looked at Luan. "So now that your tour is over, what are you gonna do now?"
"I'm going to take a vacation here in Gravity Falls and relax before I do anymore tours. See the sights, enjoy the fresh air just have fun." Luan answered before eyeing Zim. "Lot's of fun." she finished, making Zim smile as well. "And then I'll go on another tour and it'll be back to work."
"Speaking of work, is there anyone around here hiring?" Maggie suddenly asked.
"What about your job at the pet shop?" Luan asked.
"I got fired days ago. My vacation days ran out while I was going crazy and I didn't call to explain why I wasn't coming in." Maggie answered. "Besides, if I'm gonna help Zim, I can't exactly live far away, now can I?"
"Good point." said Mabel. "Well, there's plenty of job openings in Gravity Falls."
"They're also hiring at Greasy's Diner. We could also use an extra hand." Pacifica suggested.
"'We?' You mean you're still working there?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah. At least for a little while longer. I'm gonna ease into the role of being what the Northwest family should've been years ago." Pacifica explained. "And hey! If Greasy's doesn't work, you could always just work for either Zim or me."
"Thanks. I appreciate it." Maggie said as a loud knocking was heard, irking many in the room.
"Who's out there? Can't they read the 'Do Not Knock' sign I made?" Mabel asked as Ford answered the door.
"Where's Luan Loud?" came a familiar grumpy voice.
"Oh great. Here we go again." Luan sighed as she walked to the door to see Donovan standing outside. "Hey, Donovan."
"Luan! There you-"
"SHH!" many of the others all quietly shushed.
"The babies are sleeping! Keep your voice down!" Luan whispered. "What do you want?"
"I came to tell you to go to the hotel and pack your things. We need to be at the airport by noon tomorrow." Donovan answered.
"What?! Why?!" Luan whisper yelled.
"To get you prepared for the next tour I scored for you!" Donovan answered with a grin. Luan's eyes widened before she frowned and quickly pushed Donovan out the door and a good distance from the Shack. Many inside looked out to see what was going on as Luan stopped pushing.
"What do you mean next tour?!" she yelled. "When did this happen?!"
"I've been on the phone the past couple of days planning out your next tour! You're gonna be performing in some of the best places around the world!" Donovan explained in excitement as Maggie, Gaz and many others all came out and stood near Luan "I even scored you a chance to perform for foreign royalty!"
"Wha-bu-I-that's-"
"I know, I know. I almost couldn't speak at first either. This tour's gonna make us loads of cash! However, some of the stops won't have translators, so I hired you some language tutors!"
"Donovan."
"You should be able to master the languages since we have plenty of time before the shows."
"Donovan!"
"But we gotta hurry. Those tutors are strict about using time efficiently, so you'll have to-"
"DONOVAN!" Luan shouted, cutting the man off and making them all jump. When it was clear he wasn't going to continue, Luan spoke again. "I'm. Not. Going!"
"Huh?" Donovan said in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"We agreed that after my current tour was over, I was going to take a vacation." Luan stated. "That was the plan."
"Plans change, Luan." he said, angering Luan and annoying those who were listening. "Besides, why wouldn't you want to jump at an oppotunity like this?"
"Because I'm tired, I want to visit my family and I need a vacation!" Luan answered.
"If your family wants to talk to you, they can buy tickets and meet you overseas." Donovan said. "And besides, unlike with all the contracts I signed over the last few days, this 'agreement' of ours isn't in writing!"
"Rrrgh! Donovan, you are the biggest, most insufferable piece of-" Luan began to rant before her expression suddenly went blank. "Say that again?"
"We don't have the agreement in writing." Donovan answered.
"Nononono. Before that. What did you say about contracts?" Luan asked.
"I said I've signing these contracts for the last few days." Donovan huffed. "Now quit standing around and go pack your stuff. I got our plane tickets ready."
"Listen here, buddy! You can't order my sister around like-" Lynn began to yell before Luan held out a hand to stop her.
"It's okay, Lynn. I'm fine." Luan said with a smile.
"Exactly. She's fine." Donovan nodded.
"And I'm okay with all of this." Luan continued.
"Exactly. She's okay with all this." Donovan kept nodding.
"Because, as of this moment, I'm terminating his contract." Luan finished.
"Exactly. She's terminating my-" Donovan said before he caught on to that. "Wait, what?"
"I said you're fired." Luan replied with a smile. "This was the last straw, Donovan. I cannot handle having you as my manager anymore."
"Luan, if this is a joke, I'm not laughing." Donovan said with a frown.
"And I'm not joking. You're fired." Luan stated.
"HA! Take that, douchebag!" Lynn snapped.
"Our sister deserves a better manager than you, anyway!" Lily added while Donovan glared at Luan.
"So that's it?! After all I've done to further your career, this is how you repay me?! Fine! I'll take a check for all the legal fees you now owe me, plus reimbursment for all the gigs I paid out of my own pocket to get you!" Donovan ranted, making Luan laugh.
"I'm not paying you one red cent!" she said with a grin. Donovan turned red at that before reaching into his coat and pulling out a stack of papers.
"It seems, Luan Loud, that your mind is so full of stupid jokes and dumb comedy, that you've forgotten about a certain clause in the contract that you signed." he said as he flipped through it until he got to a certain. "Article 7, subsection F, paragraph 3...here!" he said as he held it out for her to read. "If the client, that's you, wishes to terminate this contract for unjustifiable reasons, like if you don't like me or don't like the way I do things, the manager, that's me, is entitled to legal compensation in the form of lost revenue, cancellation fees and so much more. In short, by firing me, you have to pay me damages. And it's not gonna be cheap! And if you keep refusing, I'll take this matter to court after I sue your ass!"
Hearing that, the others started to grow worried for the comedic Loud.
"I'm no lawyer, but I think he's got the drop on you." said Mindy.
"Think your ex-lawyer is still in town? We could hire him to fight for Luan." Mabel suggested to Pacifica.
"That won't be necessary." Lisa stated, making them turn towards her.
"Why?" Parker asked.
"Wait for it." Lisa answered as she saw Luan's smile grow as she chuckled.
"You think this is funny?!" Donovan snapped.
"No. I'm just amazed that you, Donovan Dirk, with your mind so full of thoughts of money and ways to irritate me, that you've forgotten your own fine print." Luan answered as she pointed to a line on the contract. "Read the clause under the one you just read." she said. Donovan frowned in thought as he stared at the contract. When he found the line she wanted him to read, he suddenly turned pale and began to sweat before letting out a nervous laugh.
"Hehehehe! Wow! Great joke, Luan! You're really funny! Almost had me there!" he said in forced laughter. A laugh that died down at the sight of Luan smiling while folding her arms. "Come on, Luan! This isn't funny!"
"Then why am I smiling?" Luan asked while Zim took a peek at the contract, then howled in gut-busting laughter as he fell to the ground and hugged his ribs.
"Okay, what's so funny?" Gaz asked. Luan took the contract out of Donovan's hands and showed it to her while pointing at certain part of the contract.
"Before I signed this contract years ago, I had him add a little clause for me. A clause that, a few moments ago, he broke." Luan answered as Gaz read it before smiling.
"In the event that one of either party agrees to an event without consulting and/or consent from the other party, the other party can render the contract null and void." Gaz read out loud.
"And Donovan here signed me up for an overseas tour without consulting it with me first, giving me the right to terminate the contract with no legal blowback to me." Luan explained before turning to her profusely sweating manager. "So I say again. Donovan Dirk." she began before tearing the contract in half. "You're FIRED!"
"YAAAAY!" the people began to cheer before Abuelita came out and shushed them all.
"The little ones are still asleep! Be quiet!" she whispered in a calm voice.
"yaaaaaay." the crowd whispered before they saw Donovan drop to his knees and clasp his hands together, tears in his eyes.
"Luan, please! You can't do this to me!" he blubbered.
"Is he actually begging?" Shannon asked.
"That's just sad." Fink scoffed.
"I sank a lot of my money in buying those spots for you to perform! I can't tell all those people expecting you that you won't be there! My reputation, my business and the rest of my money will all go into the toilet!" Donovan ranted.
"Well that's fitting considering that you've been nothing but a giant shit to me." Luan joked, making the people all laugh.
"LUAN!" Donovan wailed.
"Please be quiet. I told you all that the little ones are sleeping." Abuelita repeated.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! MY CAREER'S IN JEOPARDY HERE! YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THE SPAWN OF SOME BACKWOODS BITCH AND AN OVERGROWN MAN GOPHER?!" Donovan roared.
That earned everyone's immediate hate for Donovan as they all glared daggers at him. Abuelita, however, still wore a calm smile.
"One moment, please." she said before going back into the Shack. A moment later, she came back out. "I put earmuffs on the little ones." she said as she raised a broom she was holding. "Now they can't you scream." she finished before she charged at him, making him yell in terror as she chased him around with the broom and shouted at him. "¡Maldito hijo de puta! ¡¿Cómo te atreves a insultar a mi familia de esa manera?! ¡Voy a meterte esta escoba tan adentro del culo que estarás escupiendo pelusas y cerdas por una semana!"
"Get him, Abuelita!" Soos cheered as the people saw the old woman chase Donovan away from the shack.
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, LUAN LOUD! YOU'LL PAY FOR *SMACK* OW! STOP THAT!" he yelled as she continued to chase him and swing the broom, all while the people laughed.
"I'm...free. I'm finally free!" Luan cheered before falling onto her back and sighing.
"Glad to finally have Donovan 'Dick' off your back, huh?" Lucy asked.
"More than you can imagine." Luan answered.
"So what will you do now?" Mabel asked.
"I told you, I'm taking a vacation." Luan answered. "I'll need to pay the hotel I'm staying at to extend my stay since Donovan won't be anymore, but it'll be worth it."
"So...what now?" Tambry asked as Abuelita came back looking winded and holding a broken broom.
"These old bones can't sweep up trash like they used to." she said before seeing Luan on the ground. "I could go for a nap myself." she said as she laid down on some grass.
"After a day like today, I think everyone could use a nap." Mayor Cutebiker said, earning a lot of nods of approval.
"WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH!"
Abuelita's eyes sprang open as she, Soos and Melody rushed into the Shack to calm the crying twins.
"And those three are gonna need a lot of them in the future." Luan said in a half serious tone.
"Well it's a good thing they've got a whole town of people willing to help." Wendy offered.
"Yeah. It'll give you practice for when you finally have your own kids." Manly Dan said to her, making her groan and the others to laugh.
"We'll need the practice too." Gaz whispered to Zim as hugged the little guy before walking towards the Shack to see the twins again.
A/N: I asked you all for help with jokes for Luan's comedy performance. Only one person helped me, but it was nowhere near enough. Therefore, instead of having a bunch of jokes here and there, I had to shorten it down to the last joke at the end. That makes me feel like none of you care, and that hurts. I even offered to give extra votes to those who helped, but only one sent anything. So if you're all wondering why it's so short, it's not my fault.