Rowan

And when I wake, I can still feel those jaws around my jugular, my veins throbbing around the pierced flesh as I gasp through a constricted windpipe. It felt so real. It feels so real.

The wall of sparks in front of my eyes starts to dissipate and I see a concrete ceiling with an artificial light in the center, above me. The room has a slight chill even though I am drenched in sweat. The corners of the room are dark. There are no windows.

As I look around, desperately trying to get my bearings, I find that I am strapped to a chair. I try to remember what had happened before I arrived here, and I am met with memory and then panic. What have they done to Wade?

I shake my head, and again harder once I realize there are sensors attached to my temples. I half-whimper in confused fear as I writhe and strain, trying to dislodge the many wires in and on my body. I am too winded and afraid to yell for help, but it turns out that I don't need to, because a figure opens the door and walks into the room, closing it behind them with a low, quiet thud.

It's President Egret. I freeze, and a cold tendril of fear runs along my spine.

She slowly walks into the room. Her hands are interlaced in front of her, and she raises them to rest under her chin thoughtfully. Her head tilts slightly and her eyebrows raise in sympathy as she studies me.

I sit up in the chair as best as I can. I drop my head low and quietly address the floor in front of her. "Our President. I am deeply sorry for what I have done. Is Raven alright? Please, this has nothing to do with Wade. I seem to have lost control for a brief moment. This will not happen again, I swear to you. I will triple my harvest quota. I will take triple rations of bread. I will live separately, away from the rest—"

She cuts me off mid-sentence. "Rowan, look at me, please. Do you understand why you are here?"

Her voice is soft and full of concern. I raise my eyes to look at her interlocked fingers. One of them is resting on her chin.

"Yes, President Egret."

"Tell me why."

"I disturbed a peaceful assembly of fellow faction members who had gathered to enjoy a bountiful feast as one family. I harmed a fellow faction member with no regard for their well-being, nor my own, nor those around me who bore witness. I—"

"No, Rowan, that is not why you are here."

I looked up at her in surprise before quickly dropping my gaze to the floor.

She continued, "You are correct in that we initially brought you here for the reasons you have stated, but after some…observation, we have found there is much more to discuss with you."

My breath came out in a shudder. "Please, our President. Wade had nothing to do with this. He works hard and upholds the honor of the faction."

"Yes, we know. Wade has always been a dutiful and upstanding member of the faction. He was released two days ago after a brief line of questioning, as he was needed for the harvest."

Another ice-cold wave of panic swept over me. My stomach turned. "Two days…how…long have I been here?"

She looked at me with worry. "We needed to determine the extent of your emotional wounds."

"Is Raven alright? I am deeply sorry."

Her voice dropped its tone for a split-second. "Raven is fine, no thanks to you." Quickly returning to its original mildness: "She was healed and released two days ago as well, and is resting in her cabin. But, no matter. We are here to talk about you."

She took a few more steps towards me, now sharing the circle of artificial light around my chair. She leaned closer to me for a moment, taking in my damp, salt-stained collar, before turning and stepping back into the half-darkness.

She continued, facing away from me, hands now clasped behind her back. "As I understand, you made a certain…acquaintance in Amity. An outsider, whom you chose to allow into your thoughts and, in doing so, allowed your mindset and decisions to be affected in consequence thereof."

My dread and unease slowly started to turn upon hearing Egret's words.

"This person, even when welcomed with open arms into our generous faction, chose to tarnish its reputation with defiance and rule-breaking. You can understand, therefore, why we had to act accordingly, can you not?"

I remained silent, and after a moment's pause, she turned towards me. "Do you understand, Rowan, why this individual needed to be removed from our precious Amity? Does disobedience not put the entire faction into deep peril? We are not only responsible for ourselves, as you know, but we are responsible for the survival of all factions. One bad seed can case a multitude of problems for the group."

I shook my head, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. "She had done nothing. She broke a couple of minor rules; rules that many of us have broken in the past. She was innocent."

"She was deliberately undermining the faction," Egret snapped, her voice rising. "Breaking curfew? Wandering outside of faction grounds? Connecting with one's consciousness instead of creating the customary physical bond with them? Teaching one of our own to read?" She paused and took a deep breath, turning her back once again before continuing more calmly. "We owe our thanks to Raven, who noticed this imposter from the outset, and worked to contain and ultimately banish the dangerous behavior."

My voice shook, but no longer with fear. "Raven is vile; a fiend. She and her group of thugs do nothing but bully and intimidate. She is a coward and a hypocrite, just like you."

Egret turned her head sharply towards me, her nostrils flaring. "You believe I am a hypocrite? There is an entire group of fellow Amity whose sole purpose is to ensure that I preside over this faction with the utmost honor."

I laughed derisively. "Yes, the Heads have certainly done their part to make sure we uphold the honor of the faction. Tell me, is this where you brought our fellow Amity during the riots? The ones who disappeared for days, and then reappeared suddenly during the harvest without so much as a word?"

Egret's voice had gone cold. "They were deeply unhappy, and after they received their treatment, they returned to work more content and ready to help provide for their people. Do not forget that Amity are born with one true purpose, and are happiest when they live within that purpose."

"And what of the ones who govern the factions?" I spat. "You think we don't know how you all fairly and dutifully took to your coveted roles? You think we don't know that you are Divergent?"

I immediately knew I had said too much. All of the air went out of the room as I stared in horror at President Egret. "I…I didn't mean—"

She looked at me for a long moment before walking out of the room without another word.

I breathed hard, looking around the empty room like the trapped animal I was. I knew I was done. I mouthed a silent plea to someone, anyone, to help Wade. I knew my brother was indispensible to the faction and hoped with everything I had that he would stay that way. I hoped he would forgive me. I had put him through so much worry and suffering. I hoped he would be alright.

After what seemed like an eternity, President Egret returned with another person, someone I did not recognize, who was pushing a wheeled cart with a strange device on top of it. Egret was carrying a chair.

I fidgeted against my constraints as she walked toward me. She lightly set the chair down in front of me, slowly walked to the front of it, and sat down, watching me the entire time.

She spoke. Her voice was once again soft and full of concerned sympathy.

"Rowan, we understand that you have experienced a great amount of emotional turmoil. We have consulted with our fellow faction, who have provided us with the proper knowledge and guidance on how to proceed with your treatment."

I watched, now perfectly still, as the figure moved around the cart, adjusting the instrument on top. It was a metal box containing a series of knobs and switches. Two strange apparatuses were attached to its front by black wires.

"This treatment is from a medical book provided by Erudite. It is used to treat those who are experiencing extreme despondency. Those who cannot remain content with the meaningful, extraordinary lives they lead, no matter what they do."

The figure started to turn the knobs and switches on the box. The machine lit up and started to emit a high-pitched, electric hum.

I shrank back in my seat as President Egret stood up and approached me, leaning forward to look into my eyes.

"Rowan, you must understand. This is for your own good. It will show you how lucky you are to live and work in beautiful Amity." She smiled, and the corners of her eyes creased with compassion.

She straightened and turned toward the figure. "Begin."

My head is jerked into place as I try to avoid the black apparatuses being placed at my temples. A strap is pushed into my mouth; I can taste leather. My breath is ragged and I have once again started to sweat.

"We have given you a small bit of Enhancement serum. It allows the treatment to be more…effective."

She nods to the figure and steps back, shrouded by half-darkness. The figure turns a dial on the machine, looks at me, and then presses a button.

Lights explode behind my eyes and my entire body is wrenched by an invisible force. All of my muscles have contracted. I am unable to see, to hear, to breathe, to scream. I convulse for a few seconds, and then the apparatuses are removed from my temples.

I collapse into my chair, gasping, in shock, unsure of what has just happened. My ears are ringing and I blink hard, trying to get my eyes to focus. Before I can regain my senses, however, I hear a distant voice. "Again."

And it starts once more.