I leaped away from the giant kitchen mallet barely smashing me to bits. The mallet's spikes kissing the ground as Rupert Swaggert AKA Meat Sweats AKAA Porky Pig AKAAA Bootleg Gordon Ramseys kept looking at me with such hate. We relocated to the subway graveyard; plenty of space to move around but Meat Sweats kept on my pace. We've been at this song and dance for eight minutes. During my dodge fest, I've been trying to cock my gauntlets to be Iron Fists. Fatass literally damaged the recoil mechanisms. I don't know how long I can hold my ground. Maybe if I can wiggle my wrist a bit, I can take out a smoke pellet.

"I should pound you into tenderloins for losing my main ingredient!" Mr. Sweat Ass snarled. He lifted is weapon with ease.

"I'm not into food kinks. You got to find someone else to fulfill that lil' fantasy", I quipped, still trying to get a pellet out.

"Perhaps I can substitute you instead. How does roasted human bone marrow with Romano cheese, Redmond salt, douse in olive oil, and top with Italian seasoning."

"Sounds tasty unless you count metal as a well-balanced diet." I heard a soft click, my fingers held the feel of a small marble, and I couldn't hold in my grin.

"Why are you smiling? You are by yourself. You have a better chance of going against me with that yummy turtle. I can practically taste his delectable meat." How disgusting. He's drooling all over his already messy clothes.

Without another thought, I flicked the smoke pellet at Meat Sweats' face. He became blind, giving me the perfect opportunity to finally unleash Iron Fist. I ran. I can hear the creak in my mechanical arms as it shifted the extra armor around my fists and forearms. I was within three inches of the mutant pig when I unleashed my punch. I may have punched a little too hard because he flew like a missile hitting against a cart not only denting it but leaving a big hole landing him inside the cart.

I calmly walked to his injured body. "I don't mind you making fun of me or hurting me, it's all fine and good, however, you talk about 'him' even mentioning of harming 'him', I will make it my personal mission to kill you." I glared at the pathetic mutant. I didn't know what came over me. How he mentioned Leo like some meal irked me. Well, it fucking pissed me off.

Meat Sweats, though recovering from the blow, pulled his body out the cart. A creepy smile spread across his face. "Good to know, boy." He pulled out a squirming mutant silverfish probably it was hiding in the cart. His arm transformed into tentacles wrapping his appendages around the mutant. I raised an eyebrow seeing vibrant green veins appearing on the muscles. The silverfish's movements slowly getting stiff; its breathing still. Reminded me of a Venus Flytrap; the plant lured the fly to its sweet, sticky mouth before meeting its demise. I took a step back. Should I intervene? This was giving me bad vibes. I charged. My fist made contact to his stomach; unfortunately, his body shifted. He was one big fatass, he became hundreds of tiny fatasses. They leaped on me. Many of them grabbed on my limbs as one clamped on my face. I walked backwards blindly. I feel my weight losing balance. I rammed my arm against a wall knocking a few tiny piggies. As soon as I felt my arm with freedom, I snatched the face hugger and threw him across. I wasn't aware with each damage they kept multiplying like rabbits. Not to mention, one of those piglets snuck behind my legs and I tripped backwards. I fell and all the piglets laid on my body. I felt grossed all over. One little piggy walked over his clones standing on my chest like he already won the fight. "How does it feel to be a man in piggy's blanket?" he grinned.

"Your voice would be more threatening if it doesn't sound like you've been doped up on helium", I commented. His eye twitched.

"To the kitchen!" he yelled, and his little army bellowed. I felt them lifting me with no frustrations. Whelp, this ain't good.

"Hands off, piggies!" a force of nature collided on me, but the pigs scattered. I looked up to see Raph with a red helmet and visor. His weight crushing my body. "Goth Boy? Wow, Leo was right. You were in danger."

"I wasn't and get the fuck off me. You're not as lightweight as you claimed you are." The snapping turtle got off and reluctantly helped me stand. Leo, Mikey, and Donnie ran to us. Leo was wearing a bulky blue collar and Mikey wore a flappy, oversized orange jumpsuit. Donnie was the only one not wearing an upgrade merchandise. "What's with the outdated gear?"

"Gasp! Outdated? Why I have never!" Donnie gasped at my audacity. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I'm sure my characteristics isn't hard to read. "I have you know I invented something worth while for my brothers and I hope they like it otherwise I will kill myself if they don't!"

"Drama Queen much?"

"Love 'em, Donnie! Not as much as I wondered why my helmet is nagging me!" Raph yelled, throwing each piglet off his shell.

"Oh, look it's working." The soft-shell turtle became excited. More piglets came after us. Mikey and Donnie went to the left side. Leo and I went the right.

We jumped in unison dodging one wave after another. "So many ham with very little cheese", Leo joked. I would've told him off, yet an electric shock came along. "What the hell? These piggies need to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!" another shock came. "What? I can't use my oneliners?"

"I think it's an improvement", I said earning a glare from Leo. I leaped at another wave, jumping on top of a subway car.

"How are we going to him if I keep getting electrocuted?"

A lightbulb flashed in my brain. "How long can you distract them?"

"Long enough. Why?"

"You're just gonna have to trust me on this, Bluey", I called already working on adjusting my leg. I quickly took my boot and sock off and I did something so drastic my aunt will kill me for doing such a thing. I twisted my foot ripping it of by the ankle. Fluids leaked out the cables. I looked down at Leo who was fighting off his small herd. "Leo, move!" he instantly created a portal and jumped in. I spilled the fluids on the little piglets. They were covered in the stuff. I took out my lighter, flicked it on, and tossed it onto the little army. The piglets were alit in fire. They screeched in pain and agony. If I was having a bonfire, I would've brought skewers and marshmallows.

"That's pretty dark, Merrill", Leo stood behind me as I just watch from my spot.

"Not as dark as a mutant pig trying to eat you."

"True. I still think yours is much darker." I saw Mikey bouncing on the opposite piglets and Raph was working on his. Suddenly, all the small mutants came together and regroup to be one ugly pig.

"I won't rest until I have my fill!" Meat Sweats announced, his body charred to a crisp.

Raph put his helmet on his fist. "Fill on this, Sweaty!" he punched the mutant chef sending him back and hitting on a passing subway train. Talk about convient.

"Nice one, Raph!" Mikey cheered.

"That's not how you use it." I didn't bother hearing their conversation. It's not my business. My focus is my unattached appendage. I reattached my foot. I'll work on the rewiring when I get home. I move my foot around hearing my joint reconnect.

"Are you sure you alright?" Leo asked. I forgot he was with me.

"Yes, I'm fine", I groaned. Why is he so concerned? I'm standing, aren't I? I should be asking him that. I chose not to.

The slider sat down next to me, not bother to stop his stare as I work on my magic (so to speak). "That was cool of you. Going against Meat Sweats and all, I mean. I thought I wasn't going to make it on time. I – uh – I meant we – we weren't going to make it on time." If I didn't know any better, I'd say Leo has a guy crush on me or something.

"Like I said, I have fighting experience", I explained, "I can hold my ground long enough."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Heh, it's going to take more than Peppa Pig to beat me."

"...yeah... thank you, for saving me." I felt a light touch on my cheek. I turned to Leo who tried not to look my way. His light green face showed his cheeks darkened. "Um, uh, I – I – I got to go!" I watched him scurry away to his brothers. Leo trying to steer them away while not trying to look back. His three brothers look my way. I simply waved as I twist my ankle. Just to show them I'm good, I jumped off the cart and walked away with boot and sock on hand.

I touched my cheek. Leo gave me a kiss. A small, delicate peck. It was cute.

I couldn't hold in my smile.

Weirdo.