I released my urine in peace. I flushed the toilet. I went to the bathroom next to the library on the first floor. Leo finally shut his trap. Good. I didn't need to hear his voice while I take a piss. I washed my hands over the sink. I had the sudden fear lingering in my chest. I swear my emotions are getting all over the place.

Leo, I'm done. What nonsense are you trying to say?

I got no response.

Leo? Are you trying to scare me? It's not going to work, puta. I have nerves of steel. Leo? Leo? Bitch baby?

He should've said something by now. He's been talking for a while. Something about a pizza. Oh, yeah. Giant pizza in my kitchen. Ha! Bullshit. He's

I stepped out the bathroom only to come face to face with a cheesy wall. I looked up to see the grotesque stare of mushroom eyes and ranch sauce dripping on its body.

Oh... Giant pizza in my house. Leo wasn't kidding.

...WHAT THE FUCK!!!! GIANT PIZZA!!!!! How the hell did a pizza monster get in here?

The pizza monster roared at my face. Cheesy saliva splattered on my face. Gross. I stepped back my backside hitting the sink. My hand blindly grabbed the first item it could get: a bar of soap. The oversized pizza monster tried to grab me with its long gooey arm. I threw the soap into its gaping mouth. It paused; then, it started choking and burping out bubbles. I slid passed it and dashed into the library. I stared at the invading creature. An eerie green glow surrounded it, and it recovered within seconds. Well, that didn't raise any questions. I glanced at the lone mahogany desk by the bay window. I'm close to one weapon in this area; the gauntlets are in my room on the third floor. Overall, I'm in a tight situation.

My next move could give me a small window of a chance to get it. I grabbed a satin ottoman and threw it at the monster. I rushed to the desk. A holographic appeared on the surface. I quickly input the security pin. It accepted the passcode. The desk's top popped opened revealing my emergency weapon: a flamethrower.

The pizza was recovering its confusion as I strapped the flamethrower while inserting the gas. It roared. It only made me smirk. "Burn in hell, you mothafucka!" I ignited my weapon. The flames hit the pizza burning it until it's nothing more than a pile of ash. The stench of mushroom and ranch filled the room. I checked the fill gage. For a big creature, I already used half of the gas. I have an extra gas tank in my room. Getting there would be a problem if there are more invaders in my house.

My eyes widened in quick realization. Leo! I rushed out the library and into the living room. I saw another pizza just hanging around sniffing at the chips. From the stench, it's a pizza with peanut butter and barbeque. I burned it instantly. It was a few inches taller than me. I quickly snatched Leo's sword before exiting the living room.

Think, Merrill! Think! Leo said there's a giant pizza in the kitchen before he went silent. There are two kitchens. One in the basement and one up on the second floor. I bet my savings he's on the second floor. The tug – barely noticeable – was coming from the second floor. I was about to ascend the stairs, but two pizzas blocked my path. I repositioned the flamethrower. I wanted to save my ammunition until I get a refill. I charged forward with the sword and sliced the two pizzas. After slicing them, their pieces started to glow. The sliced pieces slowly crawled together. I dashed up the stairs and into the second floor. I quickly ran the hallway.

Please be alive!

I burst through the kitchen's double doors. There in the center was the biggest pizza monster I've ever seen. The stench was grotesque, including the scent of pineapples. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. In its mouth was a light green leg sticking out.

"LEO!!!!"

Anger bubbled in my chest. The sword hummed in my hands. I dashed to the pizza and sliced it. It yelled in pain giving me time to pull Leo out of its mouth. I ran out with Leo unconscious in my arms. The two pizzas from before recuperated. I headed into the elevator. Of course, my mansion had an elevator! Anyway, I made it to the elevator furiously pressing the button to open. The pizzas were inching closer. The elevator doors opened. I slipped in and pressed the closed button. Their cheesy hand almost reached us until the doors closed.

I gently laid Leo. I leaned on his chest to hear his heartbeat. No heartbeat. I started to panic. Don't die, don't die! I pressed my palms against his plastron. I started pumping twenty times before injecting air through mouth. Nothing. I repeated my action. My eyes were stinging. It's probably the leftover pineapple bits on Leo's body.

Leo... please come back... I'm sorry. I should've listened. I shouldn't've ignored you. Please wake up. Please!

A cough caught me off.

"...Merrill?" I pulled back and saw Leo stirring. His eyes fluttered. He sat up. "What happened?"

I didn't tell him. Instead, I pulled him into my arms. My face hiding in his shoulder.

"Merrill? Are you okay?"

I'm sorry...

"Merrill, what are you talking about?"

I shouldn't've listened to you. Because of me... because of me you almost became a pizza's meal.

My hold tightened. I never felt so scared in my life.

Leo patted my back. Then, he gently pulled me away and dried my tears. I didn't know I was crying.

"I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere."

I gently pulled his hands away. I took a deep breath. Back to business.

"Beside the pizza infestation in your house."

"Right... how the hell did they get into my house?" I never let any stranger or creature get into my house... except...

"Oh, fuck!" Leo just keeps surprising me. "This is all my fault! I brought that thing inside!"

I should've agreed and said "yeah, it's your fault, dipshit".

"Not reassuring!" he laid his head against cold wall.

"We don't have time to play the blame game. All I want is to get rid of those mothafuckin' pizzas. And we can't do that by sitting in the elevator before sunrise."

"And how are we going to do that?"

"We get to my room where my spare prosthetics are and an extra tank of fuel for the flamethrower."

Leo's eyes sparkled. "I get to use a flamethrower!"

"Hell, the fuck no! I'm not letting a twelve-year-old play Make-Believe-Arsonist in my house!"

"I'm fourteen!"

"Same-difference." I tossed his sword as I pressed the button 3. The elevator jolted to life. The elevator stopped two minutes later. The doors opened. My room is just across the hall. We peeked around the corner. A mutant pizza was by the staircase. I crept to my bedroom door. A keypad was placed above the knob.

'You have keypad for your bedroom?'

I like my privacy.

The passcode went through. I beep went off. The door opened. I glanced behind me. No monster pizza. Good. Leo went in first before I followed. I lightly shut the door.

"Your room is Nightmare Before Christmas?" Leo gaped at my large bedroom. My room is the primary bedroom. It would've been my parents', but they barely come by nowadays so it's my room. Anyone who doesn't know Nightmare Before Christmas must be living under a rock. I'm surprised Leo knows it.

"Yes. Got a problem?"

"No, no. I'm concern of the main theme."

"So, I have more of Jack Skeleton. What of it?"

"Even his body pillow."

"He's fine as fuck. I don't care who oppose."

"He's a skeleton."

"I don't care. He's my Bone Daddy." I headed to my tall, double-doored oak wardrobe and pulled its doors. Inside are my clothes. Below are two cabinets; another holographic keypad located on the surface. I input my passcode. Both drawers opened: the top had Gauntlet Beta, the bottom Quick Step legs. I deposited my limbs already feeling eyes on me.

"What's the plan?" Leo asked.

"Simple", I said while testing my movements on my gauntlets, "we take down every mutant pizza and burned them until they're nothing but a pile of ash." Without a command, the talons popped out. I felt like Freddy Kruger.

"Mutant pizza?"

"I managed to give them a few damages, however, they reanimated. They had a green glow. Kinda like Draxom's insects. I could be wrong, but I'm not taking any chances. Their only weakness, so far, is fire."

"You're saying they were mutated?"

"Again, I could be wrong."

Leo nodded. "I want a little payback to Mr. Pineapple. No one makes a snack out of Leon!"

"Giggidy."

"Gross." I managed to find the extra fuel for the flamethrower. I headed to my door. "Ready to go to war?"

"Hell yeah!" Leo smirked while lifting his weapon. I opened the door. We were greeted with a pizza with anchovies. Leo dashed forward slicing it in two. I burned that son of a bitch until it was black ash.

We ran down the hall. Two pizzas – avocado and barbeque – were by the staircase. Leo slashed behind me before running to the pizzas. I twirled the flamethrower behind me and pressed the trigger. Leo opened more portals surrounding the pizzas. Flames spewed through burning them to an overcooked crisp. I refilled the gauge and followed the turtle. We traveled through the entire mansion. We sliced and burned every pizza in sight.

We have one pizza left: Mr. Pineapple.

"One pizza to go", I stated.

"And one place we haven't checked..." the kitchen on the second floor. We make our way to the second floor. It was quiet; too damn quiet. We stepped over the massive cheesy mess heading to the kitchen. Their doors were shut. We pressed our backs against it. My hand held on the knob. We nodded and burst through the doors.

Unfortunately, the kitchen was bare. No evidence of the pineapple pizza. We separated to roam the room. It's still here. The scent lingered. It could be in the cabinets or the drawers biding its time.

"Merrill, look out!" I was pushed aside by Leo. I noticed the mutant pizza dripping from the ceiling. It landed with a plop. Leo helped me up. The pizza roared. It was bigger than it was before. I refilled the gauge. Leo positioned his sword.

Get me close to its mouth.

Leo's eyes widened. 'That's crazy!'

I'll be fine. Trust me.

The slider reluctantly obeyed and opened a portal. I jumped through and appeared in front of Mr. Pineapple. It ate me whole! I ignited my weapon. Its entire mouth was aflame. I exited and continued to burn the last pizza. It yowled in agony. It turned to a pile of ash. I tossed the flamethrower aside and sat down. Leo thrust into me.

"Don't ever tell me to do that again, you crazy suicidal Goth!" Leo wailed.

I rolled my eyes. "Not a Goth. I'm Emo."

"Same-difference!" we sat in the kitchen for who knows how long.

"I'm allergic to pineapples..." I randomly said.

Leo blinked. "Really? Why didn't you say anything? I would've understood."

I shrugged. "It's one of those things I don't want to mention. I get hives whenever I'm near them."

The turtle quickly patted himself down. "You were with me the entire time! How can you sit there and be calm?!"

"It's not serious... it's more of a food allergy. If I don't eat it, I'm Gucci."

"At least tell me you have medicine in store."

"Duh. I ain't that suicidal." I headed to a supply closet, grabbed a few cleaning supplies, and put on the rubber gloves.

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"I'm cleaning", I simply replied, "I'm not going to explain the servants why the entire mansion looked like a cheese grenade went off."

"You're going to clean the entire mansion by yourself?"

"That's the plan. You can go home, Leo. I don't want your family going on a search and rescue. I got this." I went to a pile of extra gooey cheese and started scrubbing. I heard movement behind. I turned and saw Leo mopping up the cheese trail. "What are you doing?"

"Mopping", he answered, casually, not stopping his progress.

"Smartass. I meant why are you helping me? This isn't your problem."

"Because I wanted to." I blinked. "This is as much of my responsibility as yours. And leaving you to do all the cleanup by yourself, well, that's not hero-like at all."

I smiled and went back to work.

Thank you.

"Did you just say...?"

"Hurry up there. We got a lot of ground to cover."

Leo went back to mopping. 'You're welcome.'