Majo Kon-ki The Marriage of Tanya the Witch
(The marriage chronicles of a witch)
Arc 1 - Philosopher's Stone – part 3
September 6, AD1991, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
It was Friday, the Gryffindors had their first potions lesson, and Tanya found out the rumors about professor Snape's preferential treatment had some merit.
To be fair, she believed that Harry was the wrong one. But that still didn't justify the professor's attitude. It was strange, the girl knew him for years and he had always been a very rational person, but for some reason, he seemed to hold some grudge against Harry, but as far as she knew, it was the very first time they had met.
And to complicate things, Granger had to try to show off by answering some easy questions. This ended up costing Gryffindor a point.
The rest of class didn't turn out much better as Neville made a mistake that cost another point and also sent him on a trip to the hospital wing.
Fortunately, Tanya managed to even the score by earning some points with a well brewed potion.
This actually took a weight off her mind, unlike most of the classes, potion making was a complete new territory for her and that had been a source of apprehension during the last week.
At the end of class, Harry was already inviting her to visit Hagrid with him when…
"Miss Degurechaff, please stay after class." Snape asked her.
Harry left with Ron, and Tanya noticed that Hermione Granger was glaring at her.
With the classroom empty, she was left alone with the professor.
"Hello sir. It's good to see you well."
"Hello Tanya- I mean, Ms Degurechaff." Snape corrected himself, recalling the proper way to address a student.
After that they started catching up the last few days. Because Tanya was still getting used to the school, they didn't have any time to meet. This was the longest they didn't talk since starting to exchange mail for the last four years.
Tanya felt considerable respect towards Snape for all the help he gave her in these years. They get along well, being individuals of similar tastes and views. They were so similar that he was a constant reminder of the salaryman she once was and could or rather 'would' be again.
"He is even as unpopular with the students as I was with the company employees. Maybe I should warn him to never get too close to the Hogwarts express… or trains in general."
"Please do tell me: what do you think of Hogwarts so far?"
Tanya couldn't help but grimace at the question.
"Well, so far the teachers are alright, I guess. But…"
"Hum? Something wrong?"
"May I speak frankly sir?"
"Please."
"You were not kidding when saying that this is the most ghost inhabited place in all of Britain."
"Hum? Don't tell me that you are afraid of ghosts? Let me tell you that they are harmless-"
"No, it's not that. Only, can you remember the last time you had a moment of privacy? Since I am the last child remaining in my orphanage, I am used to being by myself. But now, aside from these bunch of merry brats, I have to watch out for ghosts popping up out of nowhere at any moment!"
"I know what you mean. It took me a long time to get used to it…"
"And if it's not ghosts, it's the portraits always watching what we are doing! What is the deal with those? People think they will live forever if they leave their memories inside a portrait? Is it so fun to peep at present day children forever?"
"It is said that they can give advice and information but I agree with you. It wouldn't be a bad idea to limit the amount of sentient paintings, at least for privacy's sake."
"Oh! And back to the matter of privacy, just how many of you teachers can read minds? During super that night, my shield activated not once but twice, just like with yourself years ago."
"I assure you that this was not my doing, that was probably professor Dumbledore. He is the only one besides myself that can use legilimency so discreetly. However, it's strange for him to try twice…"
"Speaking of the headmaster, what about that speech? He said that anyone going to the third-floor was going to suffer a most painful death?! Could he be referring to the stairs? They are so unreliable you could fall to your death because it chooses the exact time you are stepping in it to move to another place!"
"Unfortunately, I can't talk about the third-floor, just obey the rules and stay away from it. That's for your own good… And don't worry about the stairs, it's been hundreds of years since a student fell to his death."
"It happened before?!"
"Now I am worried…"
"Listen, it's alright to feel insecure in a new environment but don't worry, this is the place you were meant to be, you will eventually get used to these small nuisances."
"What that's supposed to mean?"
"That soon you will fall in love with Hogwarts and forget about these little details." Snape gave her an uncharacteristic bright smile.
"First an irrational hatred towards a student he just met. And now unconditional love for a creepy castle.Perhaps I was mistaken, we don't have that much in common…"
"Oh! I just remembered, Xenophilus Lovegood contacted us. He asked to inform you that his wife is better. He sounded very grateful and said you can visit him any time of your choosing."
"Feh! I really don't know when the opportunity will came. At least, he must think he owes me a favor and will be very cooperative. Hmm… I need to know if I still have my 'insurance'."
"Is his wife making a full recovery?"
"From what I understood, yes."
"But she won't be having any permanent damage? Like, err… is she limping? Or is she having trouble seeing? Or… she lost the capability to bear children?"
"He didn't mention anything. But as far as I know, she has no lasting effects."
Tanya let go a breath of relief.
"Good!I still have my 'backup parents'!"
"He wanted to make an article about your 'heroic deed' as he called it. But I persuaded him against it. After all, you still aren't supposed to use magic outside school…"
Tanya felt a small tone of disapproval in his voice.
"W-what you wanted me to do? The woman was dying, I had to act fast. You don't think the ministry will-"
"No. It was justified. At least more than you flying to catch with Pottter…"
"Ugh! Hagrid told you?"
The professor nodded in agreement.
"I had no choice! Hagrid promised to take me to see Lovegood only if we had time but wherever we turned, the boy would be just gone!"
"… besides the fact that I waslooking for an opportunity to test if it is possible. And it was totally worth the risk! I can fly even better than in my last life!"
"You were fortunate that only Potter's relatives saw you. Although, I am surprised you didn't receive an owl with a warning."
"Looks like the ministry's incompetence saved me again."
"Anyway, were you able to buy all your supplies in time?"
"Yes. Hagrid had to take us the next day, but it all went smoothly."
"What wand did Olivander get you?"
"Huh? Wand? But I already have one, remember?"
"Wait. You are using that wand? The one you took by force?!"
She nodded.
"Do you know that some pure blood radicals insinuate that muggle-borns are thieves of magic and wands? It would be better to have one that is rightfully yours."
"Oh! I see…"
"Bah!That is a waste of time and money if you ask me!"
"Your magic will respond better to a wand properly chosen. However, now is too late, next year you will get a new one."
"Aren't you giving too much credit to a piece of wood?"
"I also heard about your incident with Mr Malfoy on the train. Want to talk about it?"
"He was just bullying Harry and I gave him a lesson. That's all. I am only sorry if this offended your house."
He chuckled at that.
"Well… They weren't in my house yet. And those three are just like their parents, so they deserved. I really hoped that some of these pure blood radicals' children would go to other houses. It's unbearable to have to suck up to them!" The professor said without hiding the venom in his voice.
Severus Snape already confided in her years ago that he didn't like how his house turned out in recent years. They were supposed to be the house of the cunning, of the ambitious. They used to graduate leaders, but now Slytherin was reduced to a bunch of bullies. Still, he was the head of the house and would need to stick up to them.
"That's one of the reasons I wanted to go to Hufflepuff house." Tanya sighed.
"I have been wanting to ask. What was that sorting?"
"I just tried to reason with that… hat!"
"That fucking hat! What is the problem with these wizards giving life to everything they see! Even the chocolate tries to jump awayfrom you!"
"I asked to be sent to Hufflepuff, but it keeps pestering me that I should go to any of the other houses! And when I think that it finally agreed with me, it sends me to Gryffindor! Hmph! If that was the case, I should have taken Ravenclaw!"
"I can understand why you wouldn't want to come to my house. But why Hufflepuff?"
"No one has high expectations for Hufflepuff, so I could be whatever I want without any pressure. In Gryffindor, and with my skills, I am afraid that I may end a soldier…"
"… again!"
"But most important, that thing won't be sharing my personal thoughts with other people, right?"
This was another source of worry during the last week. The hat could look into her most profound thoughts! Unlike legilimency, there was no defense against its mind probe. It did promise to not disclose any information about Tanya, but it had already lied to her once.
"The function of the hat is sorting the students in the most adequate house. Besides that, it has to identify squibs or muggles that could have been here by mistake in our initial selection or a possible threat to the students and school like, well, someone posing as a child…" Snape looked direct in her eyes as he said that.
"Do you still think I'm pretending to be a kid?"
"No, no! Just that now, any lingering doubt about you has been lifted."
"… You didn't answer my question."
Snape sighed.
"The hat was made by the founders with discretion in mind. It was always common for wizard families to have all sorts of secrets. And was only allowed because of the special protections it has, it is compelled to guard its secrets with its life. Not even to the headmaster it will reveal anything."
"Are you sure?"
"Some believe that if the hat disclosed some of the minds it sees, there would never have been a dark lord."
"Oh!"
"For a side is good to know that it won't reveal anything about me. But this means that I can't take its secrets. Who knows… Maybe it could give some info about the deathly hallows."
"Well at least, it sorted Harry in the same house-"
She didn't finish, as the mention of the name 'Harry', Tanya noticed that the professor raised an eyebrow.
"Did you already know Harry, sir?"
"… no."
Tanya couldn't tell if Snape was lying but understood that he didn't want to talk about the boy.
"Better to avoid mentioning someone that can provoke such emotional outbursts in front of him."
"Don't take this the wrong way but are you eating well? You don't seem to have grown much since I last saw you years ago." Snape asked, clearly wanting to change the topic.
Tanya, in turn, didn't want to talk about this, as she was painfully aware of her height.
"Yes, I've been eating well enough."
Originally, she thought that the constant training in the last world hampered her growth. But given that this is happening in a war free environment, Tanya reached the conclusion that this is how her body is supposed to be.
"Probably the last remaining gift from that fake god!"
"Are you telling the truth? If those nuns found out you are a witch and have been treating you badly, you can say now." He said, sounding worried.
"If that was the case, they wouldn't want me to be one of them! They wanted me to be a nun! Can you believe it?" Tanya said with disgust in her voice.
"No, I could never see you that way. I know how much this subject displeases you."
"They are not bad people, but I still don't want to see how they would react to having a witch under their roof."
"Not to say my personal opinion about their 'god'."
"Those narrow-minded old sisters think that my only option besides joining the church is getting married. So we settled this issue with a promise that I- W-well… I promised that should I marry someone, it will be in the church annexed to the orphanage…"
"Hm? Could it be that they wish to approve of your future husband?"
"Maybe that too. But there is this superstition about that church. It's said that everyone that marries there will be granted 'everlasting happiness'. It seems to hold a record of never having a single divorce since it was built."
"They seem to care about you, to the point of worrying about your future. And in the matter of marriage… Did you find any possible suitor? Maybe Mr Potter?"
Tanya widened her eyes.
"W-what are you talking about sir?"
"You two were very close in my class. And he didn't get angry when you scolded him. I also saw you two holding hands just before the sorting… And you just mentioned how happy you were that you are both in the same house."
"I didn't say I was happy!"
"P-please, we are just friends. Because those relatives of his never gave a damn about him, he turned into a needy boy that seeks human warmth with anyone willing to give. Pff! He keeps pestering me to hold his hand all the time! I really need to put some sense in that boy…"
"It appears that you became very fond of him…" He gave her a hard look.
"W-well…"
"Crap! Can't say that I plan to turn him into my personal dark-lord-killing pawn slash meat shield."
"… you still didn't explain what you see in him."
Tanya was becoming flushed by the professor's inquisitorial gaze.
"He is… Err… Hmmm… Important… to… me…?" she babbled the first thing that came to her head.
Snape had a thoughtful look on his face.
"…" Almost a full minute passed and he didn't say anything.
"Professor what-"
"MERLIN! YOU ARE BLUSHING! YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH POTTER!"
"Eh?!"
"How did he come to this absurd conclusion?"
"P-please calm down! I already told you. We are just friends."
"Friends huh? That is how it starts. First you say that you don't like him, then you are friends and before you know it, you are married and with a child!"
"Are we still talking about me and Harry Potter?"
"Sir… Please, believe me. I don't intend to marry anyone. I am here to learn and someday get a decent and high paying job…"
"… if I don't find the hallows sooner."
"A-alright, I will believe you. But just promise that you will be careful around Potter. I know his type! Someone that is always looking for trouble and hurting those close to him! Never be seduced by the likes of Potter… or end up marrying him!"
"Again, it looks like he is talking about someone else."
"F-fine. I promise."
"Everything you say, let's just get over this unpleasant topic!"
"I am not saying that you can't be friendly with him. But know that you are a cute and charming young girl and someday will grow into a beautiful lady! Boys will flock to you like flies. You can choose a husband much better than Harry Potter!"
Tanya grimaced at the simple thought.
"P-please professor! I know you are trying to be nice but don't say those things! I dread the day I became attractive to boys and men!"
"You say that now, but in a few years-"
"I DON'T WANT TO DATE OR GET MARRIED!"
Snape took a step back at her outburst. It took Tanya a second more to realize her slip and recompose herself.
"S-sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you."
"It's alright. I am the one that needs to apologize. I see this is another subject that displeases you."
"I hope that you understand now, sir. Just thinking about m-marring a man or having c-children-!" Tanya didn't finish her sentence, as she felt a shiver down her back.
Snape seemed to finally get her point.
"Oh! I have a wonderful idea! How about I teach you a curse to scare any possible suitor, including Potter?"
"He is still stuck with Harry Potter!"
"Can I really learn a curse?"
"Finally something with promise! So far the most useful spell was transfiguring wood into steel."
"Look, I will demonstrate. It's called the 'Sectumsempra curse'."
Snape turned to the table and shot a spell at a test tube, cutting it in half.
"Hum? Isn't that the severing charm?" Tanya asked, not very impressed.
"Take a closer look at both parts." Snape handed her the severed tube.
Tanya looked at the pieces and gasped.
"This is…!"
"I knew you would realize. This curse cut not only the matter, but the magic as well. Any attempt to repair or cure using magic won't work unless you know the correct counter-spell."
"Amazing! It disrupted the mana surrounding the cut- No, it created some sort of mana void! It is as he said, any counter magic would be neutralized. The only way around, would be to know exactly what was done…"
"Remember to be careful. If you use it against a living target, he or she will not be able to heal magically. You could even kill a person with a small wound."
"This is something I can use!" Thought Tanya, again being reminded that this professor was a valuable ally.
"Use it to scare Potter should he become too 'affectionate'."
"Can you give me a break?!"
Hermione Granger couldn't remember when she started to like studying so much… Nevertheless she could remember when she started to seek praise from others, this was in her primary school days when she learned to read ahead of her classmates. Words like 'brilliant mind', 'gifted' and 'genius' became constants in her life. But, this had a price, as only adults praised her, with the other children, she was always the 'insufferable know-it-all'.
But it was alright, since she was always isolated because of the many odd things that happened around her. And it would be only recently that she would discover that those things happened because she was a witch.
A witch. Initially she thought the conception absurd, but eventually understood that it was the only explanation for the strange occurrences.
Once she came to accept what she was, Hermione made a somewhat small change of plans. If before she was going to be the brightest girl in her school, now she would be the brightest witch of her magic school, if not her age.
The plan seemed to go smoothly, she read all her spellbooks in a record time, and was confident in performing some easy spells. Then, the day to go to Hogwarts arrived and she met a rival: Tanya Degurechaff.
Hermione was helping one of her future classmates when she was about to ask if they had seen his toad.
Then she heard about how the small girl had improvised a pair of defibrillators to save a woman's life. At first Hermione was ecstatic imagining doing the same. She introduced herself and was made acquainted with Harry Potter, possibly the most famous wizard their age. They had no time to talk further, because three bullies walked inside the compartment. What Hermione saw next took her breath. Tanya easily, without a wand or even an incantation, just shoved the three boys with such magical power that the compartment tilted so hard that she thought for a moment the train was going to derail. She was impressed but good manners demanded that she protested against the usage of magic in such a violent way.
Then came the sorting ceremony. The hat took almost four minutes to sort Hermione herself and that was considered a long time. Tanya was sorted before her and took more than thirty minutes and for what she witnessed, the hat considered sending her to all houses before deciding on Gryffindor. Also, the hat said some very ominous things. About a storm… And later Hermione would understand what it meant.
Their first lesson was transfiguration with professor McGonagall. Hermione thought this was the perfect opportunity to impress their head of house and Deputy Headmistress. She wanted them to transform matches into needles.
Hermione watched mindfully as the professor demonstrated the wand movements and listened to the incantation. But before she could even try, Degurechaff had already transfigured all the matches and even the box was now metallic!
Professor McGonogall was very impressed, Tanya broke another record of the school, the fastest to learn transfiguration and she did not believe that this record could ever be broken again.
Hermione was annoyed, mostly with herself, she just lost her first opportunity to shine. But the lesson was learned, next time she would be faster… or so she thought!
In all classes after that, Tanya managed to impress the teachers before she. Any question the teacher would make, had Tanya answering before they even finished saying it! How was she doing that?! And the worst part was that Hermione knew all the answers.
Hermione came to the conclusion that she was guessing the questions by the start of the sentence. So when History of magic arrived, she tried to do the same only to embarrass herself. It was said that Hermione broke a record that day. She was the first to lose points to professor Binns since he became a ghost!
Finally, Friday arrived, and their last first class arrived: potions. And Hermione was determined to impress professor Snape or die trying!
As the lesson started, Hermine paid close attention to every word that came from the professor's mouth, ready to jump at any chance to earn points. So, when he finally asked a question, she didn't care to who it was, she only shot her hand as high as possible, repeating the answers in her head over and over again. She was so preoccupied with answering that she barely noticed Tanya scolding Harry Potter, something about needing to pay attention instead of writing about random stuff.
"Granger, please lower your hand! The question was for Harry, not for you!" It was when Hermione noticed Tanya also trying to berate her.
"But I know the answers!" she tried to justify.
"Of course you know the answers. They are in the first chapter of the potions book. Everyone here should know by now. Just because you know an easy question doesn't make you special!"
Hermione blushed as she heard the sound of the other children laughing at her.
After that humiliation, Hermione vowed to defeat the smaller girl and began spending all her free time in the library. That's when she discovered that Tanya was also a regular visitor; and she always attended with another student of their year, or was at least what madam Pince said. On the first day only with a Gryffindor of their year like Harry Potter or Lavender Brown. But then each day of the week she accompanied other house students like Parvati's sister from Ravenclaw or Susan Bones from Hufflepuff, and even students from Slytherin as she was seen with Davis and Greengrass.
That's when it hit her. Tanya knew the answer to the questions by merely asking the students that had the lesson first. That's cheating! This made Hermione more determined to defeat her.
Then flying lesson day arrived and Hermione knew she wouldn't be very good since it was a class purely practical, no theory to learn beforehand. She was already dreading Tanya's performance when the summoning lesson started. Harry Potter was the first to manage to call his broom, as it jumped to his hand with a single 'up' command.
Hermione was somewhat happy. At least here, Tanya wasn't first. In truth, Hermione wasn't so bad in the summoning and when she gazed at the girl, she was doing nothing.
Professor Hooch also noticed and asked her why she wasn't even trying. Tanya declared that she wasn't going to mount a broom using a skirt. Something that everyone knew by now that the girl was very sensitive about.
"Miss Degurechaff, if you feel such discomfort, why don't you wear shorts under your skirt then?" Madam Hooch then suggested.
"Because-" Degurechaff then made a thoughtful look.
"Actually, that is a good idea! Excuse me, I am going to change." But as she turned around, with the intention of heading back to the dormitories, madam Hooch just made a quick wand move and a ball of light hit Tanya in her 'behind'.
Tanya let a surprised yelp sound. Then she raised her skirt and confirmed that madam Hooch had summoned a pair of shorts for her.
"Oh! Thank you professor! I should have thought of this one week ago…" She said spinning around, her skirt still raised.
"Erm… Please miss Degurechaff. Even using shorts, it's kind of indecent to keep your skirt raised…"
At that Tanya immediately let go of her dress and blushed furiously.
"Now that this was taken care off, could you please take the lesson seriously?"
"…" Tanya made a serious face, looked at her and declared:
"Sorry professor, but I refuse to fly in a broom!"
"Huh? Why?"
"Because it's too much of a cliché! A witch flying in a broom?! Really?"
"These are our traditions-"
"Not mine. I am not some sort of mahou shoujo-" Tanya covered her mouth in her last statement.
"Mahou shoujo? What is that?" Hermione thought.
"Miss Degurechaff, it's not just a matter of tradition but broom flying is our primary method of transportation and the easiest to learn."
"And what if I could fly without a broom?"
"Hum? You mean in a magic carpet?"
"No! I mean flying by myself."
"Unsupported fly?! Do you even know how difficult that is? I only saw that a few times and they were very slow and couldn't fly too high."
"And if I could? Plus be fast and go high? Would you excuse me from this class?"
"Hum… Very well! If you can show me some good flying until this class is over, I will excuse you, but should you fail-" Madam Hooch never finished what she was saying as Tanya just jumped high in the air.
No. It was not a jump… she actually flew!
"If you don't mind professor I will fly around a bit until class is over…" Very fast she flew so high until it was impossible to see her.
Both Hermione and madam Hooch were shocked at what they saw.
"H-how did she do that?! And in her first try?!" The professor asked dumbfounded.
"Actually, Tanya was flying the first time I saw her. Is it weird?" She heard Harry Potter say.
"She learned even before coming here?!" Hermione thought astonished.
"But when did she-" Professor Hooch realized every student was looking in the direction that Tanya took off.
"Ahem! Is there someone else that can fly without a broom? No? Then let's continue with the lesson." The professor called the other students, trying to regain a little of her lost composure.
The rest of the class was a blur to Hermione, she believed that someone got hurt and that others were flying around over something, and at some point professor McGonagall showed up and took Harry Potter somewhere else.
The girl stood there looking up at the same point that Tanya flew. That seemed to illustrate their rivalry, the more Hermione tried to surpass her, the more high and far away Tanya got…
AN: Sorry it took too long, but I had a difficult time creating Snape and Tanya dialogue. The second part, Hermione monologue, was ready months ago and I made very small changes.
What did you guys think about Tanya view about Hogwarts? I thought that since Tanya is not exactly a child, her view would be more cynical. I myself think that ghosts appearing from all sides would be very annoying…
Oh! And I believe that I don't need to explain what a mahou shoujo is… right?
I am a little sorry with Hermione in this chapter, but I really believe that her relationship with Tanya would start like this. Most because the two are hard working and bright, and Tanya has the aspect of not wanting to lose. In the manga, I understood that the salaryman always wanted to be the first of class but never managed, Tanya herself had to 'cheat' to became one of the 12 knights, so I believe that in her third chance, she would fight hard to take first place.
Next chapter, the troll incident.
Reviews:
To Lubber: Thank you and you are welcome.
To Ocansino: Thank you. The wands that Tanya has will be reveled just in the start of arc 2. In that year, Tanya will also interact with Luna. About the length, sorry that I can't write more, but unfortunately, at least for now, this is the most I can do. I wish I could read your stories, but there are lots of fanfics I want to read and I am giving they up to write…
To Cevandri: Thank you for reading.