Majo Kon-ki The Marriage of Tanya the Witch
(The marriage chronicles of a witch)
Arc 4 - Goblet of Fire – part 7
February, AD 1995, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
All of Tanya's senses were assaulted by the same strong feelings from last night.
"Don't tell me… the little succubus' spell left a permanent effect?!"
Fortunately, before she lost herself further, Harry ended the kiss.
"Sorry for saying you were driving me insane. You know I love you the way you are, right?"
"That is the problem!" Tanya merely nodded her head.
"Everything about you is cute! I consider your princess' pride-"
"I AM NOT A- aff! Forget." She grew tired of repeating herself.
"This is another thing I have been meaning to say. You don't have to be ashamed of your dark wizard ancestors."
"Oh, really?"
"I swear to you, there is not a single piece of you that I consider dark!"
"In any case, I should be glad that he mended our relationship by himself."
"Hehehe! Even if you tend to be a bit moody every now and then, I've got it covered thanks to Sirius."
"Sirius?"
"He told me some girls can't help being cold and hostile as they are too shy to express themselves."
"That flea infested DOG dared to call me tsundere?!"
At last, it all made sense, Harry began to look for signs of her undying affection after Sirius began putting ideas in his head.
"Just… try to hold back a little in the future, okay? I was a bit hurt, thinking you saw our night together as a mistake."
"It was a mistake!" It hit Tanya a way to revert this situation to her favor.
"Have you forgotten? I didn't want any indecency before we marry!"
"Y-you are right! I am terribly sorry!"
"I can't change what happened, but I can make sure this never repeats!"
"I expect you to behave- what are you doing?"
Harry knelt on the floor.
"I am taking responsibility!" She had a horrible feeling about what was coming as, next, he gently took her hand.
"Tanya Degurechaff, will you marry me?"
"Eh?!" It was far worse than she expected.
"Of course I won't!"
"Ugh! Is it because I didn't kill a dragon? Still, if memory serves, your dowry could be a valuable possession of mine." With his other hand, he was pulling something from his pocket.
"Don't know if you will like it, the most expensive thing I got is…"
"Stupid boy! Does he actually believes I will marry him in trade of-"
"… my father's invisibility cloak."
Tanya widened her eyes and held her breath.
"Is he trying to give me his deathly hallow?"
"Will you accept this as a-"
"YES! OH GOD, YES!" Tanya took the cloak while laughing aloud. A small check and she confirmed the hallow's mana had harmonized with her.
"It accepted me as its owner!"
"Thanks! Oh, thank you so much!" She couldn't help smiling fondly at him in gratitude.
"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this moment!" Over the past months, she tried many times to ask for the cloak, however, in each instance, Harry would return the look of someone waiting for a kiss.
"No, I am the one who is grateful! And I promise to make you happy every single day from now on!"
"I will be damned! To think all I ever need to do was-" Tanya's smile froze in her face.
"… are we… ENGAGED?!"
"Yup! I also can't believe you said yes!" Harry was jumping from happiness.
"H-Harry… I don't-"
"I need to tell our friends! They will be so happy- Ah! Sirius too!"
"L-listen, I-"
"Tanya, I am going to the owlery to ask Hedwig to deliver a note to him." He turned to her and gave a quick peck on her cheek.
"See you later, my love- no, fiancee!"
Tanya only stared as he left while skipping from happiness.
"…" It took a few minutes until she could form any coherent thought. She was so silent that even the beetle walking at a close wall seemed to make more sound.
"A beetle…?" Thinking back, she remembered this same sound, a buzz like a mockery, at the Yule ball and after she received her penalty for the giant squid.
"Ah!" It occurred to her that this damn bug could be Being X in disguise. A new discreet way he had found to taunt her, without letting 'Death' be aware.
Releasing all the pent-up anger from the last humiliating hours, she unleashed a blast at the insect.
"I can't kill the piece of shit but- huh?" An entire wall was destroyed, yet she noticed the small pest quickly flying away.
"That is it…! I AM DONE PLAYING NICE!" This small failure turned out to be the last straw.
"FUCK EVERYTHING! I AM GOING HOME TODAY!"
"Seriously! Must that young lady persistently exhibit such relentless aggression?" Albus Dumbledore listened to his deputy's grievances while they dealt with the aftermath of the disastrous second task.
"The Whomping Willow, Peeves, the girl's bathroom and now the giant squid?!"
"Minerva. You are aware of all the circumstances behind these events."
"I understand! But take a look at all those complaints and-" As if the big pile on the table wasn't enough, another owl arrived with an additional letter.
"Albus! This is from the dragon's reserve! They've determined a price for the dragon Miss Degurechaff killed!"
A small glance at the 'bill' made Dumbledore widen his eyes in shock. There is no way the school could afford it.
"Our sole hope rests in her using the prize to cover the expense herself." While Dumbledore deemed it nearly impossible, given how far behind she was compared to the other champions.
"We could also ask Potter to bear the cost if he emerges victorious. Naturally, assuming she refrains from harming another creature in the final task…" The headmaster shuddered. He could foresee Hogwarts going bankrupt if the sphinx, for instance, ended up dead.
"… or blow up the entire castle in the meanwhile!"
"Aren't you overreacting-" Both teachers startled as an explosion erupted from the entrance of the room. Amidst the dust, the decapitated head of the stone gargoyle was thrown at Dumbledore's feet.
"Sorry! I didn't know the password!" Said the emerging Tanya Degurechaff.
The two teachers exchanged astonished glances.
"It seems, Minerva, you are correct after all."
"MISS DEGURECHAFF! Have you lost your- ARGH!" Albus Dumbledore stared in astonishment as his transfiguration teacher was almost instantly covered in a web-like substance.
"Shut it, you old hag!" Left as unconscious as she was glued, Minerva was unable to retort to the young girl's uncharacteristic display of childish tantrum.
"Miss Degurechaff, what do I have the honor-"
"Cut the crap! I want the wand!"
"What about our agreement?"
"I never agreed with anything! Either you stay still and let me take the wand or I will take it from your dead body!"
Dumbledore started to feel uneasy; she appeared quite distressed.
"May I ask why today? What changed for you to decide to attack me so openly?" Upon his question, she flushed a deep shade of red.
"N-none of your business!"
"Might this be related to the fact that both you and Harry didn't spend the night in your designated beds?"
"H-how do you- I mean, why- Ugh! You don't understand! W-we got engaged!"
"Is that so? I guess compliments are in order-"
"DO NOT FUCK WITH ME! There is no way I am staying here!"
"I was afraid she would say that!"
"In any case, I shall not surrender the wand-" Dumbledore dodged right in time for her spell to slice through the air instead of his head.
"Good grief! She is serious!" That's what the devilish smirk on her face told him as she readied another curse.
"Hold, Miss Degurechaff! Allow me just a moment, if you will!" Dumbledore pleaded with her, realizing the unconscious Minerva could be hit.
"If we are to engage in a fight, may I transport us to an empty location?" Tensely, he waited for her answer.
"Where have you brought us?" Tanya inquired as soon as they apparated in an open clearing facing a dense forest.
"The northern entrance of the Forbidden Forest. A place rarely ventured by anyone, as it marks the boundary between our world and the Muggle's. Consequently, a permanent Muggle-repelling charm is in place."
"Are you afraid I would take a hostage? Or perhaps, of someone getting hurt in the cross-fire?"
Tanya noticed the headmaster flinch at her last comment.
"Miss Degurechaff, there is time to call this off."
"Hand me the wand and I will!"
He sighed hard.
"I have no desire to engage in a fight with you, and I shall not. What do you say to a compromise?"
"What is your suggestion?"
"I shall withstand all your attacks, and if weariness overcomes you to the extent of yielding the battle, I will claim victory by default."
"Don't underestimate me! I will kill you, if I must, to obtain the wand!"
"How about this: should I emerge victorious, you relinquish the Stone and the Cloak to me, and I shall see to the destruction of the Hallows, thus fulfilling your mission."
"Pff! Only, you will decide the moment to destroy them. Maybe in a few YEARS, when I am supposedly settled with Harry!"
"I stand by our original agreement. As soon as Voldemort's threat is-"
"Enough talk!" Tanya kicked the ground and soared in the skies. Immediately, she charged a reductor curse to blow away her adversary.
"I tried to be reasonable- huh? Where is he?!"
"I am right here." She saw the headmaster a few meters in front of her… flying.
"Did you truly believe yourself the sole practitioner of this technique? Similar to many, I favor a broom, however I can hold up in an air fight by myself quite fairly."
"Okay…the direct approach of plan A goes through the drain!" Tanya glared at him and smirked.
"Fortunately, I have as many plans as there are letters in the alphabet!" She launched straight at him like a missile. Already putting in action plan B.
One hour and twenty five plans later…
"THE FUCK?!" Tanya thought as plan Y also ended up in nothing.
"I threw everything I had against him and he is still in one piece!" Judging by his appearance, he seemed well-rested and energized, whereas she was worn out from exhaustion.
"Are we finished, Miss Degurechaff?"
"S-SHUT UP!"
"He is not considered the most powerful wizard for nothing!" Dumbledore might not top the list as the toughest opponent she ever faced (the honor belonged to Mary Sue), but he was clever, resourceful and supported by the mighty power of the Elder Wand.
Moreover, it is his extensive experience over the years that played the deciding factor in their battle. He comported himself akin to a seasoned war veteran, executing each move with meticulous calculation and conserving energy with utmost efficiency.
She realized too late that she had rushed in this fight. Brute strength won't give her victory, and neither will any simple strategy. Somehow, she had to force Dumbledore to lower his formidable guard.
"Perhaps, if I had my pink purse I could take him by surprise!" She didn't see any point to bringing it, as the artifact within is supposed to be used exclusively if she finds herself suffering from the symptoms of her PTSD, to counter the loss of her magic.
"W-what is about to happen as I am almost empty of mana!" Meaning, plan Z would be the last, one way or another.
"No other way… If I can't kill him, then, let's try the opposite. Let's gamble on him killing ME!"
"W-what a monster this young lady is!" Dumbledore thought while putting considerable effort to keep his serene face in place and hide how terribly exhausted he was.
He had no doubt she would have shot him down a thousand times over if not for the extra boost the elder wand gave to his magic.
"My seconddeluminator could have ended this conflict in a second. Why, I wonder, did I not bring it with me?" The headmaster understood the answer clearly. If he were to utilize any of the weapons he had ready for her, Tanya would never trust him again.
"Miss Degurechaff, I can see that weariness has taken hold of you. Let us bring this futile skirmish to a close!"
"Huhuhu!" Dumbledore sensed a cold shiver down his spine at the sound of her giggle.
"Merlin! What could she be planning now?!"
"Tell me professor, who do you want to see with the power of the stone?"
"What makes you think I want to use it?"
"When I told you about the hallows, you were very interested in it!"
"Well, we all have someone who-"
"Is it Ariana?"
"What?! W-where did you get knowledge about my sister?"
"I researched extensively about you. Besides, you let her name slip on the last occasion we met in your office."
"W-well, my sister died young and you two have some resemblance."
"Is that why you won't attack me?"
"I promised myself to not hurt- I mean, let another die under my watch!" It was too late to correct himself, he could see a bright girl like her connecting the dots.
"You… hurt her? Does this mean you killed her?!" Dumbledore averted his gaze.
"Pff! HAHAHA!" He frowned hearing her laugh.
"Can I ask what you find so funny?!"
"Your hypocrisy! You don't want to hurt another?! Bullshit! What have you been doing to Harry? All those years with the Dursleys were torture to him!"
"I didn't have a-"
"And how about me? I have been desperately working to get home and you still deny me my way!"
Dumbledore didn't dare to defend himself and neither told her about Trelawney's most horrific prediction.
"Know what? I agree with you! I don't have any power left to fight…"
He smiled thinking she was going to give up.
"… all I have left is to kill a few Hogwarts' students in retaliation!"
"Excuse me?!"
"I didn't want to resort to terrorism, you are the one who gave me no choice!"
"Miss Degurechaff, I don't believe you would attack innocent children! Some are your friends!" He guessed this was a bluff, her last attempt to try to convince him.
"Wanna bet? Then, watch and see!" Quickly, she accelerated towards the general direction of Hogwarts.
"S-she is bluffing… right?!" He wanted to believe wholeheartedly, yet the memories of the massacre she took part resurfaced on his mind.
"CURSES!" He followed her, burning away the little magic he had in store.
"I AM NOT LETTING YOU-" Hearing his scream, she came to an abrupt stop in mid-air, turning to face him with her wand pointed menacingly.
"My goodness! It was a feint!" There was no way to guess what spell she would use against him but if it turned out to be one of her destructive curses, he would be obliterated.
"I am unable to evade, and my magical reserves are insufficient for a protective shield!" With a mere fraction of a second to decide, he chose to respond in kind.
"REDUCTOR!" He managed to shoot his spell at the same time as her. The two met and exploded, the flash so bright that Dumbledore had to cover his eyes.
As soon as it was over, he readied himself.
"What… is she going… to try next?!" No longer he couldn't hide his fatigue. While panting from exhaustion, he checked all directions, expecting an attack to follow suit.
"Perhaps… she grew… tired and- !" Dumbledore's heart paused. He perceived what appeared to be a small body down below.
"… is that- NO! NO! NO! MISS DEGURECHAFF!" He flew down to her as fast as possible, praying it wasn't too late.
"Oh, no…" Her body was broken and all twisted, while her face had a permanent horror struck look, blood was everywhere, she wasn't breathing.
He surmised that she likely fell to her death caught in the shockwave of their spells.
"She couldn't keep flying… her magic was depleted… I- Oh! What have I done?!" He fell to his knees and covered his face. The severity of his action sinking deeper and deeper.
Albus Dumbledore would bear the weight of another girl's death for the rest of his life, and this was just the start. Once the truth came out, he would lose his position at Hogwarts. Isolation awaited him, meaning he wouldn't ever again be able to aid anyone, and redemption would remain forever out of his reach.
"And Harry… How do I explain this to him?!" After everything the poor boy suffered because of him, now he killed his loved one.
"My fault… it is all my fault! I am really sorry, Miss Degurechaff!"
"Okay, I forgive you."
"Wha- UGH!" Dumbledore was hit straight by what he believed to be a disarming spell. Thrown onto the dead body, it vanished the moment he collapsed over it.
"WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME?!" He was stupefied to see Tanya Degurechaff in perfect health holding his wand with a triumphant smile.
"I must concede, it was no easy feat beating you. I was forced to rely on a spell I tried only once. My improved optical decoy!"
He couldn't help being a little annoyed as she proudly explained how she tricked him with an illusion spell.
"Hehehe! To think I was able to replicate my visual likeness to the smallest detail! The formula version could merely copy my shape and cause interference…"
The rest, he could figure out. She intentionally upset him to divert his attention from any peculiarities in the decoy. Focused on his distress over the possibility of killing a girl so similar to his deceased sister, he inadvertently lowered his guard.
"… I admit I had doubts about the outcome. The most I had done was to replicate a golden snitch to guide Krum to the actual one during the world cup-"
"You cheated the outcome of the quidditch world cup final?!"
"…" She went quiet, seemingly embarrassed for accidentally letting this information slip.
"Never mind… the most important fact is that you are alive and w-well-" Dumbledore was actually so relieved, he let out a few tears.
He heard the girl shudder, apparently from guilt.
"D-don't think I wanted to play dirty, you left me no other choice!"
"I… deserved that."
"You surely did! There is no need to force me to stay here! Harry is more than ready to confront Voldemort!"
"No, I am afraid you are unaware of the true gravity of the situation!" Though he really didn't want to burden her, he saw no other way.
"I had intended to pass the Elder Wand to you… at least, before Professor Trelawney paid me a visit." Reluctantly, he told her the prediction she made that night.
'She changed this world too much! With the traveler's interference, the new overlord will take down the skies!'
"S-she told me to stop intervening. That my changing would spawn an even greater evil…" Next, it was her turn to tell him about a prophecy she had kept quiet about.
"I see…! You, the time traveler, have intervened, leading to Pettigrew's demise. Somehow, this circumstance shall culminate in Voldemort evolving into an overlord through the utilization of your mystical orb."
"We must destroy the type-95! Although, the radius of the explosion may prove-"
"Regrettably, it is not so simple." He shook his head.
"You already published the idea of those orbs; it's conceivable that someone might craft another in the foreseeable future."
"Shit! Damn inferiority complex that compelled me to be the first in class!"
"Please, do not despair. A glimmer of hope persists. Trelawney told me what has to be done."
'The overlord is inevitable! The anomaly must erase the overlord from ever existing!'
"I believe she meant to convey that you, as a temporal anomaly, are the sole individual capable of averting the unfolding of this prophecy."
"I have to stop the 'skies from being taken down'?! Why does this sound awfully like the end of the world?!"
"Do you comprehend why you must remain?"
"…" Seeing her lost in thoughts, he hoped she took his words to heart.
Dumbledore contemplated allowing her room to think, but the stakes were too high to leave to chance.
"If you are worried Harry might hold your past against you, then be assured he wouldn't! He loves you dearly!" It was despicable how he was trying to manipulate her using her love for Harry…
"And in the matter of your parents, there is always a moment when a child must leave to start their own family." …but it was all for the greater good.
"Your mother and father would certainly understand and approve your wish to be with the future father of your own children!"
"!" Noticing her shudder intensely, he felt a sinking despair, realizing he had inadvertently pushed her in the wrong direction.
"I am definitely leaving!"
"YOU CAN'T!"
"Go into the room of the hidden things, destroy the type 95."
From her pocket, she took what he believed to be the resurrection stone and the invisibility cloak.
He had no way to stop her, his magic was basically empty, plus he was exhausted. She in comparison, received a booster from the elder wand and was casting a huge dragon made of fiendfyre.
Placing the three items together, she ordered the dragon to attack.
"Farewell!"
"NO!" He could do nothing as the dragon, despite hesitant for a second, swallowed the deathly hallows. A loud explosion and the dragon disappeared together with-
"… huh?" He blinked as Tanya Degurechaff was still there looking at the three undamaged hallows.
"I don't get it! Why didn't it work?! DAMMIT!" Tanya couldn't hold back her frustration, pacing from one side to another, trying to figure out a reason for her failure.
"Miss Degurechaff, if you allow me…" Dumbledore said standing. He had been resting to restore enough mana to apparate them back to Hogwarts.
"I believe I have deduced what transpired."
"Then out with it!"
"Your spell from before had a lag, like you were hesitating to cast it."
In order to test Dumbledore's theory, she tried her fiendfyre curse again, all the while paying close attention to it.
"Ah?!" He was indeed right, her spell looked as if it was having second thoughts.
"My mana is refusing to cooperate?!"
"Your magic can't follow your instructions because there is doubt in your heart."
"T-this doesn't make any sense!"
"Oh, it does! You are disrupting your own magic because you don't actually wish to depart…" The old man's face lit up with a knowing smile.
"… due to your LOVE for Harry!"
Tanya was agape as this last sentence echoed in her head.
She was still in shock while the headmaster apparated them both back to Hogwarts. Without anything else to do, she begrudgingly placed the three deathly hallows together with the type 95 for safekeeping at the room of hidden things.
"C-could my mana have betrayed me the same way my female body did?!" She spent a few minutes staring at the hallows, contemplating if there was any chance Dumbledore could be right.
"Or deep down I am worried about Trelawney's prediction?" Of course, there were other explanations, Being X could be sabotaging her attempts or even that there was a proper way to destroy the hallows.
"Wish I could ask Peverell…" Unfortunately, Ignotus Peverell had a limitation: his powers allowed him to speak with her only once every seven years.
"Wait! Seven years?!" She realized that enough time had passed already.
"Peverell! I have the hallows!" Full of confidence, she called out for him.
"PEVERELL! ANSWER ME!" Despite shouting at the top of her lungs, he never showed up.
"Why- where are- ARGH! TO HELL WITH ALL!" In a burst of irritation, she began casting fiendfyre after fiendfyre upon the three objects.
"COME ON! BURN!" It was all for nothing, the three hallows remained in one piece.
"… what I am supposed to- Oh, great!" The constructs she made with fiendfyre didn't vanish.
Her tantrum merely led to an additional task: hunting down the fire zoo and casting them all out of existence.
"Okay… you are the last one." Tanya murmured, noticing a small flaming-dog remained atop some craters.
"Be gone- eh?" Directly below the fire-pup, she saw a tiara.
"Haven't I seen you somewhere…?"
'… and for hundreds of years, people haveyet to find the losttreasure.'
Tanya was agape.
"Did I just find Rowena Ravenclaw'slost diadem?! The thing which had a big reward for whoever found it?!" She couldn't believe her luck. With the reward, she would have more than enough money to emancipate.
"Why stop there? I could employ my own research team to seek a method to destroy the hallows!" Her heart full of hope and dreams again, she was on the brink of grasping the diadem…
"I can buy a big house for myself! Hire the best bodyguards to help Harry-" … when the fire-pup leaped down and swallowed it.
"WHAT?! NO!" With a piercing scream, the construct exploded.
In her dazed state, she wondered if all objects belonging to traditional wizarding families let out scream-like sounds upon destruction.
"It was the same with Gaunt's ring and the Black's golden locket-"
"Wait! Who cares about that?! Where is the treasure?! AH!" Relief flooded her seeing the diadem had survived.
"Phew! Maybe my spells are malfunctioning-" A single touch and it turned to dust.
"Sob! Why does it look as if I can't do anything right these days?" Her only consolation is that no one saw this incident.
"I would be forced to win the triwizard to pay-" Suddenly, Tanya felt she was about to figure out something of extreme importance.
"Forced, no… compelled- WAIT! COMPELLED?" With a startle, she recalled how the goblet of fire compels her magic to force her into participating in the tournament.
"This is why my magic is so uncooperative! If I destroy the hallows and go home, I can't attend the last task!" She wanted to curse Dumbledore to death for ever putting her name in that foul chalice. But mostly, Tanya was glad her mana wasn't impeding her out of a crush she may have had for a boy.
"Plus, I have a certain date to go back home: twenty four of June!"
As the days passed, Tanya couldn't remain happy with the good news of her certain departure. With her plan temporarily failed, she has to entertain the ridiculous notion she will marry a boy.
'Tehehe! MRS POTTER, good day!'
Besides, Hermione and Luna were teasing her non stop over the impending wedding.
'Let's have lunch, MRS POTTER! Hihihi!'
She found solace in the fact that they didn't find out the NIGHT she and Harry spent together.
'Miss Degurechaff and Mr Potter had to meet with their guardian to discuss the details of their union.' Was the excuse Dumbledore gave. This also became the explanation for her attack on professor McGonagall.
'What do you mean she didn't want me to hear you two talking about thewedding?! All you had to do was to ask me to leave!' Her sour mood around Tanya lingered for weeks afterward.
"Well, at least my life wasn't in any danger, Harry on the other hand…"
'Professor, please give me Tanya's hand in marriage!'
"Ican't fathom how the heck Harry survived that meeting!" Tanya was convinced the professor would murder the boy on the spot by the amount of killing intent he released.
'Potter, you…! T-take care of her…!' He begrudgingly said between gritted teeth.
"Why didn't he say no- Oh, yeah, I made him promise to not meddle with us…" Still, he should act the part of a responsible adult and talk some reasoning into the two kids declaring they will marry.
"Hold on… what about the other teachers…?" Upon reflection, she came to the realization that, so far, no one seemed bothered by the idea of a potential marriage between two minors.
"I knew this world's mages lacked common sense but not to thatextent!" Fortunately, Tanya persuaded Harry to postpone the ceremony until summer vacation, a time where she would, hopefully, be far away.
"And this brings me to a troublesome issue…" She anticipated her 'fiance' would likely sink into profound despair over her sudden disappearance, potentially compromising his ability to fight effectively.
Tanya was weighing her options, and the most viable one would be if her 'death' could be attributed, either directly or indirectly, to Voldemort. This way, Harry would be fueled by strong motivation, if not a sense of revenge while confronting him. Yet, the sole person she could turn to for orchestrating such a deception was Dumbledore, and she was hesitant to inform him of her plans to leave.
"Hmmm… maybe I could ask for Luna's help instead?" Tanya decided to give it a shot by spurting some nonsense about the Crumple-Horned Snorkack needing help to return to its original habitat.
However, the Ravenclaw became suddenly busy. They would only cross paths late at night when Luna visited (or rather, invaded) Tanya's bed to sleep, leaving as soon as the sun rose.
"I haven't been seeing much of Harry lately either…" Anxiously, Tanya foretold a new headache coming her way.
""Congratulations! Tanya!"" Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil said together as soon as Tanya, with Hermione, turned up for breakfast one morning. In their hands, the latest issue of the Witch Weekly magazine featuring a picture of Tanya and Harry together under the headline 'The Wedding of the Century'.
"Oh well, I knew this was going to happen eventually." Even if she was prepared, it was irksome to have more people pestering for details of her 'romantic love life'.
"You sure you want to wait that long?"
"Yeah, your belly will begin to show soon."
"My belly?"
"You know, giggle, the result of your night of love!" Tanya paled. She immediately took the magazine from the girl's hands and began to read.
'A boy like no other deserves a girl equally special… I could never believe the words from the third rate magazine,'the Quibbler', nonetheless, the great talent, especially for the dark arts, of Tanya Von Degurechaff, or should I say, Degretschow…'
"GAH!" Tanya cursed mentally as she reread the same fairy tale from the Quibbler now in a serious magazine, and this wasn't the worst part.
'… the two were seen coming together from an empty classroom where they spent the night!'
"Shit! Shit! SHIT!"
'… Harry Potter pressed the innocent Tanya and as the girl shunned him for taking advantage of her feelings, he in a show that gallantry is not totally lost, asked for her hand…'
"FUCK!"
'… one has to wonder how the teachers and mainly the headmaster could allow for children to engage in such antics. There may be a chance that little Miss Von Degurechaff could have ended up pregnant…'
Despite the strong temptation to tear the magazine to shreds, Tanya refrained. She felt compelled to see what else that woman had published.
'… we predict Mr Potter already has a purpose for the money prize as a glamorous wedding is certain to cost a small fortune…'
"Skeeter didn't hear about the giant squid?" Further reading, just mentioned how Tanya is dead last in the tournament.
"T-T-Tanya, is this true?! You and Harry… i-in a classroom?!" A dismayed Hermione asked.
Before Tanya could open her mouth to let out a denial, a mob surged towards her.
"Have you decided on a date?!"
"Are we invited?!"
"What about a name for the baby?!"
"Will you two leave Hogwarts?!"
In the midst of the barrage of questions, she noticed that, in their excitement, people had seemingly forgotten their hostility over the death of the giant squid.
"Princesse Tanya!"
"You can't marry another!"
"I am double the bloke Potter will ever be!"
And, of course, her admirers were trying their last attempt to win her over, taking advantage of Harry's absence.
"And where is that boy? Could he be hiding and leaveme alone to the wolves- eh?" Through the windows, a multitude of owls, numbering possibly in the hundreds, descended upon her, unleashing a rain of congratulatory letters.
"Splendid! I suppose all the ingredients for turning this into an exceptionally irritating morning are in place!"
"MISS DEGURECHAFF!"
"Or maybe not…"
Fuming, Professor McGonagall cut a path through the sea of students.
"What does Skeeter mean by you and Potter spending the night together?! And in our school?!"
"N-nothing happened. We merely slept!" Under the stern gaze, she resorted to a simple lie.
"Really, lass?" She didn't realize professor Moody was in the room until then.
"Maybe we ought to borrow a unicorn from Hagrid, to be on the safe side, eh?"
"Eek! Not another unicorn!" Ultimately, the money she could make from them didn't make up for all the effort to keep them happy.
"Wait a moment, you two." Professor Snape cut in.
"Trusting Skeeter's every word would be a grave error." A wave of relief swept through her as the potions teacher came to her rescue.
"In my case, I find it more reasonable to place my trust in the words of my student!"
"Thank you so much- Hey! Why are you performing the pregnancy test spell on me?!"
He remained silent in response to her question, simply shifting his gaze away while continuing to wave his wand.
"And you had the nerve to tell me that you trusted your students!"
"Don't mistake me. It's Potter who I don't trust."
Speaking of the supreme source of her troubles, Harry arrived precisely at the instant people exclaimed their disappointment upon learning she wasn't expecting a baby.
"TANYA! I want to give you- Huh? Why are there so many people around? And why are owls dropping letters on you?" Promptly, Ron ran to him and whispered something in his ear while showing the magazine.
"Skeeter spilled the beans to everyone?! Fantastic!" This earned a glare from Tanya.
"We don't have to hide our happiness any longer, and I can give you THIS!" Quickly, he slipped something on her finger.
All present, Tanya included, gazed in amazement at the diamond ring she now wore.
"All those who have kindly gathered here today, I have an announcement to make." He cleared his throat, and a quiet anticipation settled over the crowd.
"I would like to make it known that I, Harry Potter, and Tanya Degurechaff, will soon be joined in holy matrimony!"
There was collective cheer followed by applause.
"No, really! Why does no one think it's strange for a fourteen year old boy to be proposing to an equally young girl?!"
"Harry… I, hum… w-where did you get the money?" Frankly, she was at loss of what to say in the current situation.
"I didn't want to take from Sirius or the money left by my parents so, I sold my old Nimbus and the rest came from autographs!"
"Autographs? You stole my idea for fan events?!"
"Yup! I even asked Luna to help me!" He said, pointing to the solitary Ravenclaw in the crowd. Who, in turn, waved merrily to Tanya.
"Sorry, we couldn't be around you as often. We wanted to make it a surprise!"
Tanya perceived a certain irony in this. The fan events, originally meant to buy her freedom, were used, instead, to get her a new fancy shackle.
"How does this ALWAYS keep happening to me-ouch!" She was reminded that owls were still dropping mail.
"Err, can someone stop the owls?!"
"Tanya, we talked about getting married in the summer, but I've been thinking, what if we speed things up and have a quick ceremony around Easter?"
Completely disregarding her troubles, Harry Potter went on to make this outrageous proposal.
"DEFINITELY NO! I-I… Err- We promised to marry in the church close to my orphanage, remember?! And the sisters need to be alerted in advance!"
"Sirius already contacted them, he said it may be difficult to get a reservation so soon!"
Actually, that was the whole idea.
"Feh! That shit hole is always booked!" Certainly because of the superstition saying 'everlasting happiness' will be granted to whoever married there.
"I thought, well, we could marry somewhere else, perhaps here?"
"Harry Potter! What are you saying?!" Her fellow Gryffindor girls called out.
"You have a responsibility to give your bride the wedding of her dreams!"
"Specially after your failure to offer her the head of a dragon!"
"Okay, okay…" Under the relentless assault from all directions, Harry yielded.
"I will ask Sirius to try again."
"Perfect! With luck, they won't have a date available for months, perhaps a- Geh?!" She tried to move only to notice the pile of letters had reached her waist.
"Someone, PLEASE, stop the owls or, at least, close the windows!"
Somehow, the latest Care of Magical Creatures lesson provided Tanya with the much-needed break she sought.
"No one is asking about the wedding… or for me to ditch Harry… or if I am having safe sex…!" And, blissfully, no owls were in sight.
All she had to do was watch her niffler digging fake Leprechaun gold.
"Honestly, how did Skeeter know about it…?" Hermione muttered loud enough for Tanya to hear.
"I have no idea… maybe she overheard one of the THOUSAND instances you or Luna called me 'Mrs Potter'!"
Hermione blushed hard at her remark.
"S-sorry, we got a bit carried away with our excitement for you two. Anyway, I presume she's got an invisibility cloak, maybe everyone from the press has one?"
By reflex, Tanya checked over her shoulder, searching for that photographer.
"Then, we must always keep our guards up! Harry, starting now, we-"
"Come on Ron! I already told you I didn't notice! Remember the chaos of that night!"
The boy didn't listen. He was busy trying to calm down Ron, who was upset for finally discovering he had paid Harry with leprechaun gold.
"It's just… I hate being poor. I can't even pay for a- ring?" Ron furrowed his brows seeing his niffler with a ring on its mouth.
"Oi, Tanya. Isn't that yours?"
As a matter of fact, the engagement ring was not on her finger.
"When did he-"
"Give it back you thief!" Harry lunged at the small creature, causing it to scurry away in fear.
"Ah! It's running to the Forbidden Forest! Tanya, help me catch him!"
Unfortunately, Tanya had to oblige as she couldn't let people know how much she wanted to sell the thing to the first pawn shop she came across.
"Caught him!" Harry said triumphantly after they spent about half an hour chasing the niffler through the forest.
"Wish I could give an excuse like Ron and Hermione-" Tanya shivered.
"A killing intent!"
"Here, Tanya. Let me put it back!"
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Tanya hurriedly pushed Harry aside right before the space they were in exploded.
"Who-" Once more, she had almost no time to shove her fiance behind a tree as another killing curse was thrown at them.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
"Be silent! I need to concentrate!" Focusing intently in her detection skill, Tanya swiftly cast a cutting curse at the largest and closest mana source she pinpointed.
"ARGH!" The scream confirming her target was hit.
"Harry, take this chance and run!"
"What about you?"
"I am right behind you!"
Reassured by Harry running back to the school grounds, Tanya, instead, carefully approached the fallen enemy.
"Who are you?! Why did you- !" Tanya was utterly astonished to recognize her attacker.
"Mr Crouch?!" Lying on the ground, clutching his severed arm, was the Ministry employee, Bartemius Crouch.
"Need to… kill… the acromantula girl…"
"Can't believe it! Sirius was right!" By his words, she could assume he had tried to have revenge over the incident of seven years ago.
"Then again, why the surprise? I should be used to people attacking me for petty grudges."
"… Bertha died… my fault… kill… Must kill!"
"What are you saying? You killed someone?"
"… my fault… my son… Potter in the tournament… my fault…"
"Did he admit to having put Harry's name in the goblet?!"
"… dark! He is dark… must kill!"
It was undeniable that he had lost his sanity, judging by his nonsensical sputtering and the wild, unfocused gaze.
"Kill… kill… all the dark… KILL!"
He was crawling towards his wand, but Tanya was prepared to intervene if he posed any threat.
"I should go back and bring- Another killing intent?!"
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Once more, the killing curse was thrown her way. However, this time, it found a mark.
Crouch was struck, his movements ceased abruptly, he now lay dead.
"THE HECK?!" Looking at the direction the curse came, she saw Professor Moody, with Harry a few paces behind him.
"Why did you kill him?!"
"Lass?!"
"I had him under control! This was a senseless murder!"
"Hold on, Tanya!" Harry spoke up.
"We saw him trying to get to his wand, going on about how he was going to kill!"
"He was losing too much blood! No way could he lift his remaining arm, even less chant a spell!"
"We couldn't know that!"
Tanya recalled they were in a forest, there was no way the two could see her well from afar.
"From their viewpoint, it seemed like I was in danger."
"You are right, Harry. My apologies, professor."
"This was nothing, lass! I am pleased Crouch didn't hurt you!"
"It was Mr Crouch?!" Harry asked, baffled.
"He was completely mad. You have no idea the things he said-"
"He said something?!"
She was taken aback as the professor suddenly lunged at her.
"What did he say?!" Tanya was further confused with the desperation in his voice.
"Professor?!"
"TELL ME!"
"He confessed to killing someone named Bertha and putting Harry's name in the goblet of fire."
"Oh? Is that so…?" As sudden as before, his behavior returned to normal.
"W-well, we should inform Dumbledore! Come along, you two!"
"What was that?"
'… maybe he was a raging lunatic or perhaps, he died a hero trying to rid the world of a new dark lord, or should I say, dark lady?'
Harry couldn't believe his eyes. The very next day after the death of Barthemius Crouch, he discovered Rita Skeeter had, once again, twisted the facts to depict Tanya in the most unfavorable light imaginable.
'… both came from different words. Tanya from a powerful and ancient dark family and Harry as the tragic son of two combatants of the dark lord. Perhaps, since Harry Potter finished one dark lord, she wants to avoid the same happening with her? Marry the potential worst enemy and then have him help her take over the world starting with Britain…'
"This is an outrage! That nasty woman is- is…! ARGH!"
"Calm down, Hermione. There is no need to make a scene."
"How can you ask me to calm down, Tanya?! Skeeter is outright telling all magic Britain that you are the new you-know-who!"
"Kinda makes sense. Remember back when folks were convinced she was Grindelwald's granddaughter?"
"Ron!"
"Whoa! I never said it was true! And didn't Fudge already let her off the hook, Harry?"
Harry nodded his head. On that same day, the three provided their testimony to Dumbledore and the Minister for Magic. All ended well, neither Tanya nor Professor Moody faced any charges, as both had evidently acted in self-defense.
"Blimey! People were finally starting to forget about the giant squid…" And on that subject, Skeeter, at last, presents her own 'unique' perspective on the events at the Great Lake.
'… it was a bloodbath! Tanya Von Degurechaff killed the harmless giant squid, one of Hogwarts most beloved residents. And it's said that the merpeople living in the lake were viciously exterminated…'
"This woman gives honest journalists like daddy a bad name!" Luna shouted in a rare demonstration of anger.
"I really hoped she didn't hear about the second task. It turns out she was merely keeping the news for a better occasion." Tanya sighed.
"So, what more nonsense does she say…?"
'… what is the truth? Is she an innocent girl in love with Harry Potter? Or is she the one evil witch about to unleash danger to our entire world? Regardless, her simple existence represents a danger to the sovereignty of our modern day world, perhaps it would be for the best if the minister took her into custody.'
"Tanya, I am scared for you." Hermione declared, putting away the Daily Prophet.
"The way people seem to take at face value everything that woman puts on paper, they might do exactly as she suggests!"
"Well, so far I merely noticed some people deliberately avoiding me in the corridors…"
Harry could only cross his fingers that this was the worst his fiancee had to endure.
"Bloody hell, can't believe anyone's falling for this rubbish!"
"Why? Weren't you saying just now that it made sense?!"
Harry let out a grunt, spotting the signs that Ron and Hermione were on the brink of another bickering session.
"No, I'm talking about the bit where she says Tanya's a menace even to insects. Look here:"
'… her violent antics won't forgive an innocent and beautiful beetle…'
"Beetle…?!" A thoughtful expression came over Hermione.
"We kept seeing beetles- no, ONE beetle everywhere… could it have been the same?" She was gazing at the point on the paper that Ron had indicated as if hypnotized.
"… could she be an- I need to make sure! To the library!" Before Harry could ask what Hermione meant, the girl dashed out.
"HARRY!" Opening his eyes, Harry saw the whole classroom, including Ron, looking worried at him.
He was drenched in sweat and his scar hurts terribly.
"W-what is going on…? W-where am I…?"
"We are in divination class. Remember, mate?"
Taking a peek around, Harry felt his disorientation starting to fade.
"… right! I reckon I fell asleep." He had been drowsy throughout the day due to a lack of a proper night's sleep. His mind was overwhelmed, particularly, he worried about his fiancee's current troubles.
"It's too painful to watch Tanya being isolated again and not being able to do anything to help!"
And Trelawney's incessant boasting about foreseeing Harry and Tanya's upcoming marriage weren't contributing to his ability to stay alert.
"You alright now, Harry?"
"Of course he isn't!" The professor excitedly said, pushing Ron aside.
"Tell me, Potter, what did you see?! Was it a premonition?! An apparition?!"
"Nothing-"
'Your obsession with Tanya Degurechaff almost cost me my plan! CRUCIO!'
With a startle, Harry recalled the dream he just had.
"It was exactly… like the nightmare… I had almost one year ago!"
"Y-you mean, you saw HIM?!" Ron asked, scared.
"Yes! Voldemort was there!"
An uncomfortable silence filled the room at the mention of the dark lord's name. Even Trelawney seemed to have forgotten her excitement.
Harry could clearly see the dream, as if it was replaying in front of him.
'Told you can have her AFTER I have Potter!'
'I-I am sorry! I-I heard Crouch saying she would be the perfect queen for you!'
'And then used the imperius to send our pawn to kill her…'
'Y-yes! Forgive me!'
'How stupid can you be? Indeed, the princess is from a family of conquerors and I don't share what is mine with anyone else!'
'Won't you make her yours?'
'I could care less about her! You, on the other hand,dared to defy my orders! CRUCIO!'
"Voldemort was so furious! He kept torturing the disfigured man!"
"GAH! Harry, stop saying you-know-who's name!" Ron pleaded
Harry noticed the entire class shared his friend's frightened look.
"I need help!" Disregarding everyone and pushing through the sharp pain in his scar, Harry ran straight to Dumbledore's office.
Briefly, he thought he was being followed, but the noise that caught his attention turned out to be an insect flying in the same direction as he was running.
Arriving at the gargoyle, he feared it wouldn't grant him entry, given that he lacked a password. Surprisingly, the statue sprang to life and moved by itself.
"Great! I have no time to-"
"We can't get married! We are children!"
"Huh? Tanya?"
"No, really! Why is nobody saying anything?!" Tanya had run out of patience. She had to question what bizarre logic motivated those crazy teachers.
"Actually, a few members of my staff voiced their disapproval, but Professors Snape, McGonagall, and I were able to sway their sentiments."
"You did? Why?"
"We all agreed it's preferable for two teenagers to be married than have a young PREGNANT maiden under our watch."
"W-w-we didn't do anything! Haven't you heard about the unicorns?!"
"I know for a fact they were somehow mistaken. If I were to speculate, I would surmise your impressively high amount of magic energy must have something to do with their confusion."
"Ugh! Right on mark!"
"Besides, YOU told me once that there was a chance you could be pregnant!"
Tanya had no defense against that.
"I can't tell it was a subterfuge to have him lower his guard to steal the Elder wand…"
"And consider yourself fortunate. You see, this, ahem, 'behavior' would have resulted in expulsion for the both of you in the past."
"Then, go ahead and expel me! I am leaving Hogwarts as soon as the year ends, anyway!"
"… you are considering becoming a housewife?"
"What?! No! THE MARRIAGE IS NOT HAPPENING!"
"It is not…?"
Tanya was thunderstruck. Turning around in her chair, she saw Harry at the entrance of the headmaster's office. An equally shocked look in his face.
"Good grief…" Dumbledore murmured, lowering his face into his hands.
"How much had he heard?!"
"W-when- How did you get inside?!"
"As I mentioned previously, my stone gargoyle is encountering issues, courtesy of a certain individual who saw fit to decapitate it."
"Tanya… you want to leave me?!"
"H-Harry, I-"
"Don't you love me any more…?"
Tanya was utterly perplexed. This wasn't what she had in mind when she approached Dumbledore. The original intention was to propose her plan of attributing her 'death' to Voldemort. However, she got sidetracked by the discussion about the marriage.
"I knew I should've asked Luna! FUCK! WHAT DO I SAY?!"
"Tell him the truth!" As if hearing her thoughts, Dumbledore suggested this.
"There is no way I can tell the truth!" As always, she worried Harry might break down if he ever finds out she didn't have any feelings for him.
"Besides, no one would believe, they would think I am… crazy?" With a jolt, Tanya realized she had gained an opportunity to finally end this mistake of a relationship.
"He might find it easier to move on from me if he's the one doing the rejecting!"
"I-if Harry learns the truth, he will hate me! Sob!" She dramatically declared, faking a few tears.
"No, whatever you want to tell me, I would never hate you!"
"You must hear the story first…"
"I will listen! Please, tell me!"
"Okay, I will… hmm… tell you…"
"Crap! What did I say to Dumbledore last time?!" She could only remember a few bits of her new fabricated story.
"Err… Professor! If you please? It's too hard for me to revisit my past…"
She felt a sense of relief as Dumbledore nodded in agreement.
"You see, Harry, Tanya was the unfortunate target of a rather potent and malicious…"
Harry listened intently to every word the headmaster spoke.
"Better if I pay close attention as well. In case I may need to share this tale with someone else."
"… and that concludes it. Do you have any questions?"
"… you are joking, right?" Harry seemed nonplussed, as if he had just been told about the plot of the newest sci-fi movie.
"A poltergeist send Tanya to another world… and she become a flying witch soldier-"
"An aerial mage."
"Right… and she is looking for relics created by Death?!"
"You don't believe…"
"I-If I say I believe, will you stay with me?"
"Eh?!"
"Grr! Come on! I am crazy, give up on me!" It was clear, he wasn't going to be so easily swayed.
"Okay, let's see what happens once he gets a real shock!"
"Professor, did you keep the memory I gave to you?"
"Yes, I do- You are not suggesting we show him that HELL, are you?!"
She thought that if he wouldn't leave a 'nutty' fiancee, maybe he'd be more inclined in parting ways with a supposed genocidal psychopath.
"He deserves to know!"
"Miss Degurechaff-"
"If he sees me at my worst and still wants me to stay, then I might reconsider!"
"Very well… Harry, please come this way." Obediently, Harry followed the headmaster inside the pensieve's cabinet.
"He will be so horrified he- huh?" Tanya's thoughts trailed off as she heard a familiar buzz like mocking from a beetle.
AN: Hehehe! What do you guys think of how Tanya ended up engaged? Wonder if anyone saw this coming when I first mentioned Harry would need to give her a dowry?
As you can see, Tanya reunited the deathly hallows but couldn't become the master of death. The explanation was the one I gave, Tanya is compelled to participate in the tournament until the end. Only after a winner is declared she can use the hallows true powers.
About Tanya and Dumbledore's duel, sorry that I went directly to the end but let's face it. Written fights aren't that fun, you need at least a picture to make it cool. But I hope people liked what I did.
Next chapter: We will see the Master of Death, the Eleventh Goddess and, perhaps, the Overlord from Trelawney's prediction!