AN: There's some wordplay in here that only really works with English grammar, not Japanese. Oh well. I thought it was cute. Granted, I am a total dork, so that's par for the course.

1750, Autumn (6 months into Academy Year 1)

Kaede hurried through the Academy halls, trying not to break into an all-out run. She was so late! Zanjutsu practice had gone long today, then she had cleanup duty with Hiyori and another student, and the dinner gong had already been rung which meant she had maybe five minutes to drop by her bunk before meeting Sousuke.

Their dinner meetings were the highlight of her week, even though dinner wasn't always involved anymore. This would be their…ninth? In just over as many weeks? She still couldn't believe it had been going on for that long. Sousuke's curiosity and thirst for knowledge easily matched her own, and between the two of them, there was always something more to discuss.

She wasn't about to sabotage their arrangement with tardiness, or let that become fodder for Sousuke to turn into some sort of favor. She just had to grab the book Sousuke had loaned her (this time, the book itself was the exchange for her company rather than a meal), and then she'd go directly to their spot.

Their spot…she couldn't believe they had a "spot!" The very thought of it made her giddy; she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot. No need to make everyone in her path think she was weirder than necessary.

Rounding the corner into the hall that led to the girls' barracks, Kaede felt someone slam into her shoulder.

"Oops," came the honey-sweet voice of the girl responsible as she sauntered past. "Better be careful, wouldn't want to be late for your dinner date."

Kaede's head snapped around. The girl and her friends snickered as they walked away, as though what the honey-voiced one had said was some sort of joke. Kaede vaguely recognized her as one of Sousuke's classmates, someone she'd never spoken to and had only ever seen in passing.

Her eyes narrowed as she wondered what the girl meant. Dinner date? Is that what she thought was going on with her and Sousuke?

…Was that what was going on? Her cheeks warmed. No…stupid to even think that.

Kaede shook her head and finally just broke into a run. Dinner date or no, she wasn't about to be late!

The putrid, sour stench hit her just as she reached her quarter, and permeated the room where she and her female classmates slept. With a sinking feeling in her stomach that had nothing to do with the smell itself, she knew without looking that her corner was the origin.

"Ugh, what the hell stinks?!"

Hiyori had caught up to her; she pulled her collar up over her nose and mouth as she approached their barrack. When she saw the source of the smell, her brown eyes widened. "What the - who the fuck did this?!"

Kaede's bed roll had been laid out - no, that was too nice a way of putting it. It had been thrown onto the floor and covered with what looked like kitchen waste: not just food scraps, but rancid oils and spoiled sauces. There were a few coins scattered over the refuse as well, and on the back wall, a message scrawled in what appeared to be a mix of dark-colored sauces.

EAT THIS WHORE

Kaede stared at the message blank-faced as Hiyori spouted every expletive in her vocabulary. It wasn't a stretch to guess who was responsible, or why. She, the freak who'd caused the Catastrophe, had been seen on multiple occasions with one of the most well-loved, respected, popular upperclassmen on campus. That probably went against whatever passed for "order" around here, so she was being un-subtly told what her place was.

Hiyori yanked at her sleeve. "C'mon, we're finding who did this, and we're making them pay!" When Kaede didn't budge, she pulled harder. "I said, let's go!"

"No," Kaede said simply, still staring at the message. "It doesn't matter."

"What're you talking about? Of course it does! You can't let people just stomp all over you like this!"

Eyes narrowing, Kaede silently agreed. She'd already imagined finding the honey-voiced girl from the hallway, perhaps at night when everyone else was asleep and the girl would feel more vulnerable. She'd use her words first, making it clear that she knew the girl was responsible for this. Then, if Honey-Voice denied it, or - even better - taunted her about how no one would believe her…

Well, back in the Nest, violence was a highly effective persuasive tool for getting people to back off.

But that wouldn't work here. This wasn't the Nest; as satisfying as it could be to scare Honey-Voice off, responding with violence would only work against her. After all, she was the "freak" that even instructors were wary of, whereas the girls who did this were upperclassmen. Their word was worth far more than hers.

Besides, even if going to an authority was the correct option on paper, the very thought turned Kaede's stomach. She needed to deal with this on her own - and for right now, that meant making sure she had a place to sleep that wasn't covered in garbage.

"No," she said. "They're not worth the trouble. I just want to get this cleaned up."

Hiyori opened her mouth as if to protest some more, but then closed it with a huff. "Fine. But hey, if you know who did this, let's at least dump all this shit on their bed. Let them clean it up."

Let's? It took Kaede a second to realize the implication, and even when she did, she wasn't sure she'd understood correctly. Hiyori planned to help her?

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, Kaede just shook her head. "No…too much work, and it'd be too obvious where it came from. I'll just open some windows and try to get this stuff out of here before anyone else comes back."

"Ughhh, fine. Freakin' goody two-shoes…" She pulled out a handkerchief and tied it tightly over her nose and mouth. "We'll put everything on the bed roll and just throw that out. I know someone who can hook you up with a new one."

Wait - so she was saying she'd help? "You don't have to-"

"It'll go faster with the two of us," Hiyori cut her off. "You've got that thing with that guy tonight, right? So let's get going."

Gratitude washed over Kaede as Hiyori started gathering pieces of trash. If she'd been alone, she'd have dealt with this - it wasn't the first time something like this had happened here, though it was certainly the worst incident yet. She was used to having things thrown at her, her laundry messed with, or people trying to make her trip and fall (though they rarely succeeded). She was used to witnesses either snickering or pretending not to see what was happening. She'd long ago learned to ignore it, pick herself up if need be, brush herself off and move on.

This was the first time someone was actually stepping up to help.

"Hey…" Hiyori picked up a coin. "Did they actually leave money?"

Kaede shrugged, looking down at the mess. "Guess so. Really trying to play up the 'whore' angle, I guess."

She could practically hear Hiyori's devilish grin forming behind her handkerchief. "Suckers! Joke's on them, this is ours now!"

Even with Hiyori's help, it took almost an hour to get rid of the trash and scrub the message off the wall. Thankfully, the smudges hadn't stained too terribly.

Unfortunately, the book Sousuke had loaned her wasn't so lucky. Kaede almost changed her mind about not getting violent with the girls responsible when she found the volume damp and slick with rancid oil, the binding torn, pages missing. She'd sworn so vehemently that even Hiyori was taken aback.

"Jeez, just go, already," she'd said. "I'll get that bed roll replaced. Go wash up at least, you stink."

Kaede thanked her profusely. As she dashed out of the room, Hiyori called after her, "But any other coins in here are mine!"

Kaede made a quick stop at the laundry - luckily, her other uniform had been drying undisturbed the whole day, so at least she could change her clothes. She hastily pulled her hair back into a bun, hoping that would keep any lingering odors from wafting. Part of her wondered why she was even bothering; no way was Sousuke still waiting for her, over an hour after their usual time.

So when she spied his familiar form leaning against a hip-height stone wall across from their usual spot, Kaede stopped running and just stood there for a moment.

He was still here?

Why?

Well, she'd kept him waiting long enough. "Sousuke!"

He looked up from the book in his hand as she came running up.

"I'm so sorry," she panted. She didn't want to tell him about the girls or the message they'd left her, but she wasn't sure how else to explain what had kept her for so long. Maybe she shouldn't even try explaining. "I - uh - I can't believe you're still here…"

He arched a brow. "You ran all the way here over an hour after we were supposed to meet because you thought I wouldn't be here?"

Kaede crossed her arms, face flushed from both the run and his mocking tone. "I'm just surprised, that's all. Oh-" She swore under her breath. "Your book. I'm sorry, but I don't have it. It - um…it got ruined."

She mentally kicked herself. Why didn't she just say she'd lost it? Oh, right - because that would make her look careless and absent-minded. She should've just offered to replace it - but how? Other than a few coins she'd picked up from her ruined bedroll, she had no money, nor access to any sort of book shop.

"So first you're late," Sousuke said, "which has not happened once since we began meeting - and now you're saying you let a book 'get ruined,' despite once nearly throwing a fit over a bent page corner."

Kaede didn't want to look at him for fear of seeing disappointment, or anger, or exasperation. None of those things were obvious from his tone, but she was certain that was what he felt.

"Sorano-san…" Sousuke spoke her name softly, and when she didn't respond, he used his finger to gently direct her chin upward. She jerked her head away. "What happened?"

Kaede's jaw tightened. "It's nothing."

"Clearly not," Sousuke argued, his voice keeping that soothing timbre. "What really kept you?"

He wasn't demanding an explanation - he was asking, and doing so in such a manner that she almost wanted to tell him. But no - she wasn't a snitch, and it wasn't like telling him would make a difference. If anything, he might pity her, or think her weak for being targeted at all.

She wasn't sure which would be worse.

"Kaede," he said, almost imploring her - but not quite. "This is all unlike you. I'm not angry; I just want to know what caused this…abnormality."

The way her name rolled off his tongue, the words he chose…she could almost think he was actually concerned about her. She had the feeling, though, that he was more curious as to what caused the sudden change of data. Sousuke was very much a scientist by nature; she got the impression that he viewed just about everything, from natural phenomena to human interaction, as an experiment.

Assuming that he viewed this situation the same way made it a little easier for her to admit what had happened - but only a little.

"It's nothing," she insisted, but this time she continued: "I mean…it's stupid. Really, I don't even know why it happened, exactly. I mean, I can guess…"

In halting phrases, she told him about the trash, her ruined bedroll, and the note on the wall. She left out her suspicions about who did it - she didn't know any names, after all.

"I see," Sousuke stated when she finished. "Some girls from your barracks thought it amusing to target you."

Kaede opened her mouth to point out that she hadn't mentioned a culprit, but stopped herself. Of course he'd put that much together; it was pretty obvious. "Anyway…Hiyori helped me clean it up, so I definitely owe her something."

"Hiyori?"

"A classmate of mine - one who actually talks to me." Kaede sighed heavily and leaned on the stone barrier beside him. "It's not the first time, and it won't be the last. I'm kinda used to it." She winced, realizing how much self-pity could be inferred from that. That wouldn't do; she didn't want him thinking she was fishing for sympathy. "But you know what the worst part was?"

"What's that?"

"The grammar."

Sousuke's surprised blink lit a little triumphant flame in her. "The…grammar?"

"It was horrible," she insisted, drawing the characters in the air. "'Eat this whore' - no punctuation, no way to discern a single, concrete meaning. Were they telling me to eat a whore? But they didn't provide one. That's just inconsiderate. Or were they encouraging others to eat me? 'Cause really, I'd recommend against it. I'm probably all stringy and gamey. If they were really just telling me to eat garbage, they were missing the necessary comma. And 'whore' is an inaccurate label, because I have never traded sexual favors for anything before. That's just confusing."

"Truly," he said with an amused grin, "the worst offense possible is a poorly worded insult."

"It really is!" Kaede shook her head in mock-disgust. "But really, they're only hurting themselves. The message was so unclear that it was impossible to feel anything but confused. So if they were trying to intimidate or humiliate me, they failed, and all because they left out a simple little comma. Their waste was wasted."

It was satisfying to see Sousuke smiling and shaking his head at her. Not only did it seem like a genuine reaction, she liked the thought that she'd been responsible for it.

Remembering the real victim of the incident, Kaede's own smile faded. "I'm sorry your book got caught in the crossfires. I'd replace it if I could, but…well, what'll it be?"

"What will what be?"

"You know."

"No, I don't."

She eyed him, not believing for a second that he didn't know what she was asking. The expectancy in his gaze confirmed it: he just wanted her to spell it out. "Ugh…fine. What do you want…from me…to make up for the loss of your book?"

Sousuke curled his fingers under his chin and pursed his lips, seeming to contemplate. Kaede had the nagging feeling that he already knew what to ask for and was drawing this out just to mess with her. She braced herself for whatever it would be and tried to come up with an escape plan if needed.

"How about…" He tapped his chin once, twice. "And end to the tit-for-tat model we've been using thus far."

…That was not what she'd expected. Granted, she was never sure what to expect with Sousuke - that was actually part of the fun, now that she was fairly certain he didn't mean her direct harm. Her best guesses had been a sexual favor (which she'd refuse) or a more mundane one (which she might consider).

But this…this made her want to crawl into a hole and disappear. He wanted to stop meeting. All this time, she thought there was something bringing them together. But she was wrong. He didn't care, not about her, or what she could do for him, or what they talked about or that they could talk to each other at all. She was stupid for having thought any of it had meaning.

"You want to stop meeting…" She swallowed, trying to mask her emotions. "Yeah. That's fine. I won't bother you anymore, so, uh…"

She started to walk away, not even sure which direction she intended to go - just needing to get out of sight.

"That isn't what I said."

Kaede stopped and slowly turned back to face him.

"What I said," Sousuke stated evenly, "was that I wanted an end to the transactional nature of our meetings, not an end to the meetings themselves. If you would rather we not meet again, though-"

"No!" Kaede caught herself - dammit, the word had come out so fast and strong that he probably thought she was desperate! "I mean - I just…"

An understanding smile crossed his lips. "Ah…that's right. Transactions are your comfort zone. However…wouldn't you prefer to not have to keep a running tally? It could become quite exhausting."

Her shoulders rose automatically, eyes shifting. No, she wanted to say. Tallies kept things clean. She knew how to use them - or rather, she didn't know how to navigate without them. But she didn't want him to know how uncomfortable the idea made her, in case he just pushed harder for it.

At her hesitancy, Sousuke sighed. "All right. Let's try this: Do you enjoy our talks?"

She shrugged and nodded.

"As do I," he said. "Then let's consider our mutual enjoyment to be the only trade required from here on out, shall we?"

Kaede wasn't sure she was comfortable with that. It seemed too nebulous, and what if he was lying? What if he intended to hold the ruined book over her head sometime in the future? Would he attach extra strings to this so-called "mutual enjoyment" someday and expect her to comply based on this?

There were too many "what ifs"…but did she want to give up these chats with someone who was so intelligent, who read the same things she did, who treated her like a person?

No. She didn't. It meant accepting the possibility that he'd go back on his word, but…maybe that wouldn't happen. Even if it did, maybe it was worth it.

"Okay," she assented.

Sousuke looked almost relieved, a hint of a real smile turning his mouth up. "I'm glad to hear you say that. For the record, I don't care about the book…and I'm sorry you were put through so much on my behalf."

"On your behalf? Careful, Sousuke," she chided, "your delusions of grandeur are showing again." Sobering, she sighed. "Honestly, though…it doesn't really matter who they see me with. They don't like me, and there's not much I can do about that."

"Wise words from one so young."

"Thanks, Ojii-san." She tapped her chin in mock-contemplation. "Maybe I should start selling proverbs, like they do at temples. Ooo, or I could write a book: 'The Way of the Freak.'" She wrinkled her nose. "Title pending review."

This time, Sousuke didn't crack a smile. "Don't call yourself that."

"Why not? Everyone else does. Might as well own it a bit."

"Don't demean yourself by accepting labels from petty idiots," he told her, no hint of humor in his voice. "You are more than what they think."

When he said it, she could almost believe it - that she was worthy of more, deserving of attention that wasn't contemptuous. That she should want more for herself.

"I'm alive," she said, as much to herself as to him. "That's enough."

"That's never enough for anyone," Sousuke replied softly. "Don't limit yourself."

His hand had drifted toward hers. She was aware of it, and of her impulse to pull away - but she also wanted to know what would happen if she didn't. She lifted her eyes to his, and there was something in those brown orbs, something that wasn't mild amusement or mockery or curiosity, something that beckoned her closer…

"There you are, Kaede-chan! Been looking all over for you!"

Kaede jerked her hand back. Breaking from Sousuke's gaze, she turned toward the familiar voice. "Urahara-san?"

It was indeed Urahara Kisuke strolling toward them, his hand lifted in greeting, a friendly smile plastered on his face. His black shihakusho stood out sharply in contrast to the lighter, more colorful Academy uniforms, even in the sparsely populated courtyard. It was the first time Kaede had seen the man in almost six months; he'd sent her a book or two, but always through the Academy's mail system.

"You didn't forget what today was, did you?" Urahara asked cheerfully. Then he seemed to notice Sousuke for the first time - though Kaede doubted he'd overlooked the other student at all. "Oh? Making friends already?"

Kaede looked between the two, dumbstruck. She'd never imagined having to explain who Urahara Kisuke was with the man himself standing right there.

Sousuke didn't miss a beat. He had already donned his classically polite smile and stood to greet the man. "You must be Urahara-san. It's a pleasure to meet you - I'm Aizen Sousuke." He even finished with a respectful bow - the perfect model student.

"Has she talked about me then?" Urahara rubbed the back of his head. "I hope it's all good things!"

"Hardly anything, really," Sousuke answered with a light chuckle. "It's been quite an interesting challenge getting to know her. Very worthwhile, though."

"Is that so?" Urahara peered at the spectacled student with narrowing eyes, stepping uncomfortably close so they were roughly eye to eye. "Tell me, Aizen-san…what are your intentions with my dear Kaede-chan?"

Kaede was ready to sink into a bottomless pit if it meant escaping this whole scenario. With no such pit in sight, she settled for groaning and covering her face with her hands.

"I assure you, Urahara-san," Sousuke replied smoothly, not even flinching under the man's stare, "I have nothing but the purest of intentions regarding Sorano-san."

"'Sorano-san,' is it?" Urahara turned a teasing grin to Kaede. "Pretty formal for a boyfriend!"

Kaede stuck herself between the two, forcing them both to take a step back. "What do you want, Urahara-san?"

He cocked his head to the side. "So you did forget. Well, I guess it's to be expected, with such a different routine and all…"

The color drained from her face when she realized what he was talking about. Oh…it was that time again. She might be out of confinement, but certain procedures still had to be followed.

Turning to Sousuke, she swallowed and tried to think of what to say. "I, um - I have to go take care of something, so…"

"No need to explain," Sousuke assured her in that soft voice that seemed solely intended for her. He put a hand on her arm, and for once, she welcomed the unbidden contact. Maybe he was just putting on a facade for Urahara, but something about the gesture communicated an understanding that didn't need to be faked. "We'll catch up later."

Looking past her, he addressed Urahara once more. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Urahara-san."

"Likewise," Urahara responded, though he'd dropped the smile. Then, to Kaede: "You ready?"

Kaede nodded, already dreading the next few hours. "Yeah."

Sousuke's hand lingered on her arm until she'd walked out of reach. Once gone, she covered the spot with her own hand to keep it warm.

They called it a "checkup." Periodically, Kaede was required to undergo a physical exam - but unlike a normal physical, this one involved the captains of both the Kido and Medical Corps. For a while, she'd only had to go through one every couple of years, so long as her reiatsu was stable. However, one of the conditions for her attending the Academy was to have a checkup every six months, overseen by a couple members of Central 46.

Urahara delivered her to an observation room deep within the Central Underground Prison; it was the only facility in Soul Society with rooms already secured by high-level Kido spells. This wasn't the room she remembered waking up in decades ago, when she was a frightened child with no idea what she'd done, but it was similar enough that Kaede tensed involuntarily.

She was provided with a simple white robe, which she changed into without caring that she was being observed. Privacy wasn't part of the routine. As the pieces of her uniform came off, the chain-like pattern of the various Kido seals were put entirely on display, twisting from the reiatsu vents on her wrists up her arms and crossing her chest and back. The white robe covered the marks and allowed her some modesty, but donning it brought her no comfort. It was too similar to an inmate's uniform, a reminder of where she'd come from - of where she'd return if she didn't meet certain requirements.

First was the physical exam. Unohana-taichou greeted her warmly as always, her kind smile and gentle hands helping to put Kaede at ease - as much as that was possible. It didn't matter that Kaede had a good five inches on the medic-captain; in this room, with these people, she may as well have been a child again, small, scared, uncertain.

"You've gained a little weight," Unohana commented as the exam began. "Some more muscle, too - and there's a bit more color in your cheeks. Academy life agrees with you!"

"Yeah, I guess so…"

Unohana checked her vitals, measured her reiatsu output, asked about her konpaku's cycles and overall functioning. Nothing had changed, nothing was new - her spirit body was a healthy projection of her soul and behaved as any other of her relative age.

"How about sexual activity?" Unohana asked at one point.

It was a routine question, one that she'd heard at every check-up since puberty - yet for the first time, Kaede faltered. "Um - no, nothing."

Unohana raised her brows at her stammered answer but thankfully, didn't press. Kaede wasn't sure why exactly she'd hesitated. It was true: she'd never been sexually active with anyone, never even wanted to be so.

And yet…she found herself remembering long, elegant fingers inching toward her own, a deep voice as luxurious as velvet caressing her ears…

"Everything looks good," Unohana-taichou declared cheerily, jolting Kaede back to reality. "Are you prepared for the next phase?"

All thoughts of fingers and voices vacated her mind, leaving her alone in the warm, over-bright room. She nodded tightly.

Just get it over with.

Unohana took her place behind her. If any of the destructive power lurking in her reiatsu did leak out, Unohana would neutralize it before it did any damage.

Kaede never could take full comfort in that. As much faith as she'd developed in the other woman's skill, she couldn't shake the what ifs that plagued her whenever the Kido seals were examined and tested.

The door opened, and one more person entered. He was tall, well-muscled, and wore a royal blue robe with the Kido Corps insignia. In his right hand, he carried a monk's staff that clanged softly with each step. When Kaede was a child, he often made her giggle by molding his waxed mustache into different shapes.

"Good evening, Kaede-chan," Tessai, Captain of the Kido Corps, greeted her. "Sorry for the late hour - Kisuke didn't think it wise to pull you from your classes. How are your studies so far?"

"Fine," she answered, unsticking her tongue from the roof of her mouth. "A lot of it is pretty familiar."

Tessai chuckled, his mustache twitching as he smiled knowingly. "Always the voracious reader."

Urahara's voice crackled over a speaker. "Let's begin. Kaede, I'm going to ask you some questions on behalf of Central 46. Do your best to answer 'yes' or 'no' unless otherwise indicated…you know the drill."

Kaede nodded slowly. She'd dreaded this more than anything.

"Now…there was an incident during a class where the Failsafe was used, correct?"

"Yes." She didn't try to explain the situation or give her side of the story - that would go against procedure. Instead, she waited, heart pounding, as Urahara relayed the questions from a veiled Central 46 member behind the mirrored glass.

"According to the instructor," Urahara continued, pausing now and then to listen as the judges fed him the questions, "you were engaged in a fight with another student. Is that correct?"

"It wasn't a-"

"Yes or no, please."

Kaede swallowed again. "No."

"Please clarify."

Now she was allowed to say more. "It was a spar, not a fight. We were just practicing."

"Nonetheless," he parroted, and she could hear the slightest strain of impatience lurking in his tone. "You went against the instructor's orders to only carry out the prescribed exercises. Correct?"

"Yes," she croaked.

"And you engaged in combative behavior against another student. Correct?"

She wasn't sure how to answer that. Did they think she'd been trying to hurt Hiyori? "I di-"

"Yes or no, please."

"No!" The word erupted from her more aggressively than she'd intended.

"You engaged in combat against another student. This is what happened."

"No," she repeated, her voice weakening. How could she convince them of what actually happened when she could only say 'yes' or 'no?'

"You - hold on a minute," Urahara's voice had returned to its normal timbre; he wasn't repeating someone else's words anymore. "Honored Judges…"

His voice became muffled and unintelligible; Kaede imagined he'd put his hand over the microphone. Kaede sat silent and still on the cold exam table, closing her eyes, trying to shut out the room and the faint sound of raised voices from the adjoining room. Please, just get this over with…

A few minutes later, Urahara's voice came back over the speaker. "Sorry about that, Kaede, Tessai, Captain. It seems there was some confusion over the difference between 'combat' and 'sparring,' but that's been cleared up. Kaede, during the spar, did you at any point notice a spike in your reiatsu?"

Kaede let out a shaky breath, silently thanking Urahara for his cognizance. "No."

"Did you emit a spike in your reiatsu?"

"No."

"Did you notice any buildup of your spiritual energy?"

"No." Every 'no' came out a little stronger than the last, steadier and more confident.

"That settles it," Urahara declared after a few more minutes of silence. "In this case, it appears that the instructor triggered the Failsafe inappropriately."

Kaede closed her eyes, dizzy with relief. Anytime the Failsafe spell was triggered, the incident was recorded and related directly to Central 46. It had only happened a few scant times when she was in the Nest, each time because she'd emitted a potentially dangerous amount of reiatsu despite her other seals. That was back when Urahara and Tessai hadn't quite perfected the custom-made spells, so "leaks" happened on occasion. Even though she'd been relatively stable for years, the Failsafe remained as a stopgap measure to keep her from hurting others, intentionally or not.

The questioning was over - but in a flash of inspiration, Kaede realized that this might be her only chance to speak with the judges before the end of her first year. She scrambled to gather her thoughts and her courage in order to do something she'd never attempted before: speaking out of turn.

"Honored Judges," she began, clearing her throat to stop her voice from cracking. "If I may…" She waited to be cut off - but nothing happened. "Before Tessai-taichou does his evaluation and refreshes the seals…The way the seals are right now, I can't properly perform Kido. I'm trying - I understand the theory - but…I think the limiters are…well, limiting me too much. I'm also finding it hard to - um - connect with my Zanpakuto."

Again she paused, expecting to be rebuffed, but there was nothing.

"May I request that the Suppression and Neutralization seals be…loosened? Not removed, just - just so I can complete my studies properly? I am grateful for the chance to study at all, of course, but…if I'm to become a Shinigami, I think - don't I need to be able to do such things?"

Not being able to see who she was addressing made it all the more difficult - though she wondered if seeing the Central 46 judges would actually make it easier. She was at their mercy no matter whether she could look into their faces and gauge their expressions.

At first, there was no sound at all over the speaker. Perhaps they were deliberating. Could that be a good thing? It wasn't an immediate 'no,' so maybe…?

Urahara's voice once again crackled over the speaker. "Denied."

Kaede's heart sank. She knew better than to expect an explanation for the decision; that wasn't her place, after all. No, her place was to take what was given to her and be grateful for it.

Ever the professional, Tessai gave no indication of his own thoughts on the ruling, merely squaring his shoulders and giving a short nod. "If that matter is concluded, I will continue with a basic check of the Kido seals."

At least the next part would be over quickly, Kaede thought. Tessai, being one of the designers of her Kido bindings, had a quick, light hand when it came to checking their functioning. It would be a little uncomfortable, as he had to briefly activate each one in full to test its efficacy, but it wouldn't take long, and it didn't require testing the Failsafe.

"Tessai…" Urahara's voice, though carefully controlled, betrayed a note of regret that made Kaede's stomach drop. "They want a full work-up."

Her eyes widened. A full work-up? Again? Her hands started to sweat at her sides. Full work-ups meant testing each seal individually and collectively, including the Failsafe - often multiple times. The last time she'd had one, she'd needed almost three days to recover.

"Honored Judges," Tessai protested, "I must insist that this is unnecessary. There was a full work-up six months ago, prior to the subject's start at the Academy. Going through that whole procedure again so soon-"

"It's what is now required," Urahara interrupted. "Unohana-taichou - are there any medical reasons for avoiding a full work-up here tonight?"

It sounded like he was asking the medic-captain for an excuse to defy the order. Kaede almost wished he hadn't asked at all - she didn't want to feel the tiny bit of hope that sparked in her chest now, not when she knew it was about to be smothered.

Behind her, Unohana let out a soft sigh. "No. There is no medical basis for postponing this procedure."

There it was. Kaede knew Unohana meant no malice by it - she'd always been an advocate of hers, one of the few people who approached her without fear or judgment. But Unohana was also a captain and a consummate professional. She couldn't and wouldn't lie about her practice.

There was a pause before Urahara responded. "Then let us proceed."

The sky was a pre-dawn gray when Urahara half-carried Kaede back to the Academy barracks. She could barely move her own limbs, and her skin, usually a smooth, light bronze, was pale and blotchy from the ordeal.

As much as Urahara had hoped to spare her the hours-long series of painful and humiliating tests, he couldn't deny that Central 46 did have a reason to insist on it. This was Kaede's first six months outside of confinement, in a place where her spirit energy was near-constantly taxed and tested. They had to be certain that the altered conditions hadn't affected the Kido bindings.

At his side, Kaede groaned. "Urahara-san…?"

"Right here," he assured her. "You're almost there. Just a little farther."

The judges could've at least shown a little compassion, Urahara thought as he adjusted his grip around Kaede's waist. She'd thrown up twice during the exam, passed out once, nearly bit clean through her lip a few times trying to stifle her whimpers and cries. Even so, they kept pressing for Tessai to prod harder at the Kido workings, push them further - push her further.

Maybe he was just too soft when it came to Kaede. That's what Yoruichi would say. He didn't have the luxury of caring about someone who would always be a few steps away from execution. Central 46 had granted her a continuing stay of execution when she was a child, not a definitive ruling against it. Urahara lived with the knowledge that he - or someone else - might one day need to put her down, like she was a pet that could turn feral at any time.

If it ever came down to that…he honestly couldn't say if he'd prefer to be the one to do it or not.

"Why won' they let me practice?" Kaede slurred as they inched toward the barracks. "I jus'…wan' be good…"

"Don't worry," he said. "We'll make sure you can practice. Just be patient and keep your head down."

He shouldn't be promising her anything. He doubted she'd remember in a few hours, but once Urahara said the words, he felt compelled to see them through. Well, he'd promised her a chance to attend the Academy, and he'd delivered - even if it took nearly two centuries. He'd figure this out for her, too.

When they arrived outside the women's barracks, Kisuke ignored her half-formed protests and picked her up, cradling her to his chest. With practiced ease, he silently and swiftly brought her to the room she shared with several other girls. The other occupants were sound asleep, thankfully; one was even snoring, which covered any noise he might have made as he carefully deposited the exhausted Kaede into her bedroll. She wasted no time curling up into the covers.

Urahara blinked and squinted at the blanket. Was that a different pattern? And - he sniffed the air - why did it smell faintly like garbage in here?

Not wanting to linger, he cast one more glance on his sleeping charge, unconsciously reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair from her face - though he stopped short of actually touching her.

Kisuke stood and silently flashstepped his way out of the barracks, but not off campus just yet. He had to pay a little visit to a certain instructor first.

…

So Urahara and Aizen have now met…and we get a look at some of what Kaede has had to endure over the years.

Next Time: Stepping Out. Kaede recovers from the checkup and bonds with Hiyori, but reminders of the Catastrophe continue to plague her. Then, she has an encounter with Sousuke that may change her entire worldview…

Let me know what you think :) Reviews are love!