Chapter 41

Neville was worried. Last night when he had woken up to go to the bathroom Harry's bed had been empty. That wasn't unusual, but it had been really late, and this morning it still looked as if he hadn't come back at all from wherever he had been.

He wasn't the only one that had noticed, but no one commented. At this point they all knew that Harry sneaked out at night, but for one reason or another they had all decided not to say anything about it. Even Ron seemed to be covering for Harry, which might have something to do with certain threats that the twins had made. As to Dean and Seamus, they either didn't care what Harry did, or they were afraid of him, like most people.

Neville was worried, though, and he could see that Ron was too, although he was pretending not to care.

What if Harry had had an accident flying and no one even knew about it? Harry was a good flier, definitely nothing like Neville, but it must be different to fly in the dark, and even good fliers could have accidents sometimes, right? What if Harry had been flying over the Forbidden Forest and something had jumped on him? What if he had fallen to the lake and had drowned for not knowing how to swim? What if...?

He was spared from any more panic when Harry suddenly walked into the dormitory completely dressed and carrying his egg as usual. He didn't seem to notice anyone as he rushed to his night table and picked up the mermaid's fairy tale, which pages he began to turn furiously as if looking for something. Once he had examined the book from all angles he put it aside and went to open his trunk, in which he dropped something silver that he had had in his pocket before digging out what looked like the swimming trunks he had gotten for Christmas. He examined those too from all angles, turning them inside out and checking the pockets while he huffed in frustration.

Then he continued digging inside the trunk until he managed to extract the monster book that Hagrid had made them all buy last year. Harry's was tied up with a belt, but to Neville's nervousness he released it after quickly stroking the spine of it. He knew the book was safe that way, but he was still half-afraid of it, he couldn't help fearing that Harry would lose a finger or two at any moment if the monster suddenly decided to close itself.

Harry began turning pages again, and now Neville was pretty sure of what he was looking for. Of course he wouldn't find anything in that book, Hermione had already checked and Merpeople weren't mentioned there since they were considered half-breeds instead of creatures, but at least Harry seemed to be looking for information about them. Why else would he have examined the fairy tale? He must have figured out that the gifts were clues!

He glanced around and saw that Ron, Seamus and Dean were also watching what Harry was doing, although they seemed just perplexed. Maybe they hadn't noticed that Harry had a book about mermaids on his bedside table? No one went too close to Harry's bed anymore, except Neville sometimes to check whether Harry was there or not.

Huffing again in frustration, Harry threw the book aside and went about looking for fresh clothes to change into, which was sort of a confirmation that he was wearing the same clothes than yesterday and that he hadn't slept in his bed. Although it was a question where was his broom. Neville hadn't seen it inside the trunk and Harry had not had it with him when he had walked in.

Once changed, Harry went to the bathroom in a hurry, picked up his school things and the egg again and disappeared out the door.

They all stood in silence at his departure.

"Harry is really losing it," said Seamus finally.

Dean was about to answer something when the Monster Book of Monsters that Harry had left unrestrained over his bed began to move and sort of growl. It took them like five minutes to finally corner it and tie it again with the belt, and by then Ron was swearing and they all were running late for breakfast so they didn't talk anymore.

Neville wanted to tell Hermione about Harry maybe having cracked the clue, but she was sitting too close to Harry at breakfast so of course he couldn't say anything. Harry was definitely acting weird, glancing all the time at the Slytherin table as if searching for something, or frowning at the High Table.

Things got weirder when they went to History of Magic. This was Neville's less favourite class —after Potions—, since there were a lot of things to remember and it was really hard to stay awake. It was usually a comfort that everyone else —except Hermione— also seemed to have trouble not falling asleep, but today it surprized him to see that Harry was also awake and taking notes. The weird thing was that he kept writing even when Professor Binns wasn't talking, so eventually Neville glanced sideways to see if he really was taking notes or what.

He almost knocked over his inkpot in shock when he read the line that Harry was writing over and over again:

"I won't prove myself a retarded person by jumping into a lake without knowing how to swim."

What?

Why would Harry write that? It looked like detention lines. Did that mean that Harry had actually done that? Neville had feared he might have fallen into the lake, but why would he jump on his own? Had he maybe been trying to crack the clue? He shivered. How had he gotten out? Not knowing how to swim wasn't the only problem. According to Hermione's research it could be dangerous to hear the Merpeople underwater, if they were singing.

That line... It sounded like something Snape would say. He was the only teacher who insulted students all the time, and especially Harry. Of course Snape didn't usually give lines as detention, but Neville knew that he lately seemed to prefer to make Harry write insults instead of scrub cauldrons. No doubt because it bothered Harry more.

He didn't look too angry now, though, just irritated and resigned.

Had Snape caught Harry last night? It made Neville really anxious to think of that. Snape was a Death Eater, like Bellatrix Lestrange and the others that had tortured his parents. Neville had always been afraid of the man, but ever since the article it had gotten much much worse. His gran had sent him a letter telling him not to accept any more private detentions or time alone with Snape under any circumstances. He was to go to Professor McGonagall or even Dumbledore if the man tried to lure him to a lonely dungeon, and never to accept not even an antidote or a healing balm from him. If he got hurt during Potions class, he was to go straight to the Infirmary instead of allowing his Professor to heal him.

All those warnings had only scared Neville more. Now he was having more trouble than ever focusing on anything during Potions, sometimes even forgetting to count three times on everything he did because he was too distracted keeping an eye on where Snape was at any given time. During the last class he had almost melted another cauldron, and Snape had yelled at him and looked at him in a way that had made him fear to be crucio'd like his parents. After that he had felt cold all day, and he had fallen asleep still shaking and crying.

Hermione said that they didn't have to worry, that Dumbledore would not keep Snape here if he didn't trust him, and that they had to trust Dumbledore, but Neville was still worried and terribly afraid. He especially was worried about Harry, who was now defying Snape more than ever before as if he didn't realize that the man was dangerous.

Although there was some unfamiliar, fairly new part of Neville that could understand Harry and that maybe felt in a similar way. Snape might not have been the one to murder Harry's parents or torture Neville's, but he represented You-Know-Who so it was hard not to get feelings mixed up. The man was the first Death Eater that Neville met, and even though he was mostly afraid of him sometimes he felt like crying from anger instead of just fear.

Neville didn't like the way that Snape made him feel. He was now thinking a lot more about his parents, but not always just with sadness. More than about his parents, he thought about the Death Eaters that had tortured them. He wondered if they had been like Snape or worse, if they were sorry for what they had done or if they didn't care at all. He wondered if a lifetime in Azkaban was punishment enough.

It was like the whole thing was waking something ugly inside him, and that scared Neville more than any Death Eater.

Getting lost in all those thoughts and confusing feelings made Neville miss pretty much all the rest of the class, so at the end he didn't even know if Binns had given them homework. He figured he could ask Hermione later, and felt sorry for Harry, who also seemed to have missed the entire class and wouldn't have anyone able to pass him notes. It didn't look as if he cared, though. Neville had noticed that Harry no longer cared much about some of their subjects, like History or Astronomy. He supposed it made sense, since champions were exempted from final exams, but he wondered how he would catch up next year if he survived the Tournament.

Herbology was Neville's favourite subject. Lately he liked it even more because it was the only moment when he could actually help Harry in something. Not too much, of course, but at least if Professor Sprout put them to work together in the same plant Neville could make sure Harry wasn't strangled and even could share some advice as to how to deal with it. He suspected Harry also enjoyed those moments, even if they were little things. He looked less miserable, at least, when he was inside class and being treated like a normal student.

During lunch he finally found an opportunity to talk to Hermione, since Harry ate really fast and disappeared saying that he was going to the library. All those who had been close and heard watched him go with mouths open, since eating fast to go to the library was more Hermione's thing than Harry's. Hermione was just as shocked as everyone else.

"I think Harry cracked the clue," Neville whispered anxiously to her, glancing in all directions in fear. He wasn't sure why it made him so nervous to speak of it, since he knew the Goblet would take care of shut him up if a champion was close, but all about Harry had felt so secretive lately that he just couldn't raise his voice much.

"What?" she whispered back, also glancing sideways as if feeling the same way.

She dragged him out of the Great Hall immediately and into the first empty classroom they found. Neville explained about Harry maybe not having come back to sleep in his bed last night, and his weird behaviour this morning, and the detention line. When he finished, Hermione looked half relieved and half worried to death. She also seemed to be thinking a lot, but she didn't share with him any of her thoughts, probably not to worry or confuse him. They would know soon enough, she said, all they could do was to be there for Harry, to support him in whatever way they were allowed.

Before all this, Neville had never realized how fortunate people were of being able to help each other.

When Harry met them at the Charms classroom and placed the egg and a book over their table, Neville could swear that Hermione almost fainted. Harry saw her reaction and raised his eyebrows with amusement.

"You can't even tell me 'I told you so', can you?" he challenged.

Hermione tried to speak, but couldn't, which made her scowl and Harry laugh. The sound of Harry's laugh attracted the entire class' attention to him, probably because Harry laughing wasn't a normal occurrence anymore.

Neville didn't understand what they were talking about, but he was glad to see Harry in such a light mood.

"The credit goes to Krum, though," said Harry taking his seat. "He recommended it to me."

Now Hermione was staring at Harry in confusion, but before she could try to say anything Flitwick began explaining today's lesson so they had to pay attention to him. Neville winced internally when he heard that they would begin working on a new charm that was at least as hard as the Summoning Charm had been. Just when he had stopped feeling so useless in this class! It sounded like the Banishing Charm required good aim, to make things worse.

"You know, Harry," said Hermione once Flitwick had finished his lecture and the classroom filled with noise again. "We can't help you, but we can listen to you, if you need to talk about something." She seemed to be choosing her words very carefully. Talking to Harry had become something really tricky to do. "Although we understand if it's too frustrating to talk without receiving answers."

Harry seemed to consider Hermione's words while he chose a cushion from the pile Flitwick had given them.

"It is frustrating," he admitted. "I know I haven't been handling it very well. I'm sorry if I hurt you being the way I have been lately... well, ever since Halloween."

He looked at them both with guilt in his eyes.

"It's all right, Harry," said Hermione gently. "We understand. We are sorry that we haven't been able to help you. We... we are worried about you."

"Don't be," said Harry firmly. "I think I have cracked the clue for the second task, or at least I have a good idea. It's no guarantee that I will survive but at least now I might be able to prepare somehow."

Of course neither Hermione nor Neville could say much in answer to that, but Harry didn't seem to expect them to. He just pointed his wand at the cushion and tried to send it across the room. It flew all right, but missed the box he was aiming at. Hermione tried too, but she must be distracted because the cushion didn't get very far. Neville tried next, and of course nothing happened.

"We know what you do at night," said Hermione in a whisper, startling Harry just when he was banishing his next cushion, which somehow hit the ceiling before falling over Lavender's head.

"Sorry, Lavender!" called Harry before summoning the cushion back. He looked at Hermione nervously. "What do you mean?"

"Harry, if the Goblet could make us betray you we would have done it weeks ago," she continued in a low voice. "We won't tell anyone."

Harry looked half-worried and half-relieved. Also guilty, as usual.

"Sorry for not telling you. I was afraid that... I don't know, of something. It just doesn't feel safe to say anything to anyone."

Hermione and Neville both nodded in agreement. Nothing felt safe this year.

Just then Professor Flitwick came to scold them for talking without working, so they focused on the Banishing Charm for a while. Hermione managed to make her next cushion land inside the box, and a few tries later one of Harry's cushions landed on top of hers, to Harry's surprize. Neville still hadn't managed to make his cushion move at all, so Hermione began correcting everything from his wand grip to his pronunciation.

Still, nothing happened.

"I don't understand what's the problem," said Hermione in frustration, "you did everything right that last time. Are you sure you are focusing hard enough?"

"I... I think so..." said Neville, not at all convinced.

"Imagine the cushion is your fist flying towards Malfoy's face," suggested Harry. "That's the feeling you need."

Neville laughed nervously. Was he serious?

"Seriously," said Harry, although he looked amused. "Here, this cushion looks as if it would hurt if it weren't just a cushion."

He handed Neville a grey and black cushion. Neville glanced at Hermione, who nodded encouragingly at him. All right...

"Depulso!"

This time the cushion flew, really fast, and in the general direction of the box too! Neville couldn't believe it. Harry patted his back.

"See, Neville? You have it in you. I bet that if the box were as close as Malfoy was at the Yule Ball you would have hit it." He sighed. "I wish I had seen that."

Neville felt himself going red.

They continued practicing, sometimes sending cushions where they were supposed to and others not exactly there. Even Hermione missed sometimes, probably because she must be still worrying about Harry.

"All right," said Harry finally. "Don't freak out, but last night I almost drowned."

Neville turned to look at Harry just as he was casting the spell, which hit Professor Flitwick instead of the cushion and sent him flying across the classroom. He landed on top of a large cabinet, to Neville's horror.

"I'm so sorry, Professor!" he exclaimed in panic. "So sorry! I..."

"Not to worry, Longbottom," said Flitwick, who was chuckling while he levitated himself to the floor. "That was a very powerful Banishing Charm, ten points to Gryffindor!"

Neville's jaw dropped. Harry was laughing at his side.

"He's right, Neville. It's supposed to be a lot harder to summon or banish living creatures, and you banished a person. I don't think I could do it."

Was he joking? Harry probably could banish a dragon! Neville didn't say so, though, not wanting to ruin his good mood.

Hermione didn't seem to have even noticed the incident. She was staring at Harry with a very concerned and stern expression that reminded Neville of Professor McGonagall. She probably wanted to say something, but talking about water around Harry was nearly impossible.

"I'm still alive," reminded her Harry. "Krum fished me out."

Now Hermione definitely wanted to speak, but she couldn't. Harry laughed at her.

"If you think not being able to help is frustrating, I assure you not being able to be helped is much worse," he said. "Let's just agree not to try any help amongst us anymore, shall we?"

Hermione looked as if she wanted to object, but Harry ignored her as he grabbed his golden egg and banished it across the room. All eyes followed the shiny thing and watched it land inside the box.

Professor Flitwick scolded Harry for intentionally banishing an unauthorized object. Then he awarded ten points to Gryffindor for a charm well done.

Neville was still worried, and Hermione obviously was worried too, but at least Harry looked calmer now, less desperate. And he had said that he had cracked the clue, so maybe things would be all right.

It puzzled him what he had said about Krum, though. It sounded like the other champion had suggested him a useful book, and also saved him from drowning. Did that mean that they could help each other?