Chapter 52

Sirius would happily let himself be tortured by Snape once a week if he could stay at Hogwarts with Harry indefinitely in exchange.

Not that that was an option, unfortunately. And after that unpleasant first class he feared Snape would not stop at torture next time, moving up to murder or exposure directly, so Sirius had wisely decided to heed Dumbledore's stern lecture and stay away from the greasy git from then on.

It hadn't been fun to have several bones crushed and having to stay that way for hours, chained to the dungeon's floor and quivering from pain and cold and rage. Harry's potion had thankfully been fine —if particularly disgusting even for a dog's taste buds—, but Snape had not bothered to align the broken bones before administering the Skele-Gro, so everything had mended wrong and later Sirius had had to have his bones vanished by Grubbly-Plank to make them grow again properly. Between the crushing, the two consecutive Skele-Gro doses, and the Cruciatus the day before, Sirius had been brutally reminded of what pain was.

Still, he would take any amount of physical pain over Dementor exposure any day. And, no matter how much Snape's cruelty made him want to murder him, Sirius knew that he actually deserved pretty much anything that Snivellus chose to do to him, so he was fine taking the pain.

What he was not fine with was Harry's misery. And what Snape had done had been as much a punishment for Harry as it had been for Sirius. That was unacceptable. In a way, it was even worse what Harry had had to endure during that class. He and Alice's boy. That made Sirius think that the greasy git could use another round of public humiliation.

If he could just pretend Snape didn't exist (and he could, most of the time, except when Harry had Potions class and Sirius had to stay behind imagining what sort of torment his godson might be suffering at the bastard's hands), Sirius was as happy as he could be at this point in his horrible life. A castle full of laughing children going about their innocent routines was about the farthest thing from Azkaban that he could conceive, even though it also held all sort of memory traps. Sirius had spent the best years of his life here, everything around him reminded him of happy times and of terrible losses, but somehow he was managing to enjoy himself instead of sinking into a pit of depression.

Harry was like a talisman against despair.

He was now sleeping soundly for the first time in over a decade, his anxiety and fears kept at bay by the safe haven that was Gryffindor Tower and by the reassuring company of his godson and —bless him— Crookshanks. Harry's frequent nightmares didn't bothered him at all, since it made him feel useful to be able to calm the kid with his mere presence or some whining or nuzzling at most. Although he wished he could do more for him, like giving him Dreamless Sleep or at least ask him what the nightmares were about.

He was also finally eating decent food and with good appetite, which was simply glorious. He supposed he shouldn't get accustomed to better fare, knowing that he would go back to his poor eating habits very soon, but he just couldn't let pass the opportunity of stuffing himself with Hogwarts' amazing food. He hoped Dumbledore was keeping his word of going to feed Buckbeak once a day, and that the old man would spare a few minutes to converse with the hippogriff. It made Sirius feel terribly guilty to imagine his proud companion alone and tied up inside a cold cave.

He managed to forget Buckbeak during the day, though, when there were so many distractions to keep him from gloomy thoughts. Except for Potions and Divination, which were suicidal and hard to access for a quadruped respectively, Sirius was attending all Harry's classes, and he was having a great time at it. He grinned internally whenever he imagined James going nuts with envy at his having pulled off attending classes in his Animagus form.

At first most teachers had been hesitant to admit him, insisting in that Harry had to take responsibility and make sure his dog didn't sully the classrooms, bark during lessons or bit anyone, but after only a few days the entire staff seemed to have overcome their reservations and accepted that Sirius was a good dog. Since nobody could keep him away from Harry, this was visibly a relief for the teachers.

And as it turned out, some teachers not only tolerated him, but seemed to like him. Like Flitwick and Sprout, who showed up to class with their pockets filled with dog treats that they tossed at Sirius along with smiles or pats to the head as a reward for good behaviour. Or Sinistra, who to Sirius' shock (she was a Slytherin!) conjured a fluffy mat with a self-warming charm on it for him to lay down while the shivering students stole envious glances at him from behind their telescopes.

Binns of course didn't even seem aware that there was a dog inside his classroom. Not that there was any reason to notice him, since Sirius spent those classes napping the way he and James had always done. He was surprized to see that his godson was staying wide awake and taking notes, though, until he realized that the smart kid had a book opened under the desk and seemed to be working on a essay for a different subject instead of listening to Binns, to Hermione's obvious disapproval.

McGonagall didn't offer him any treats, nor anything beyond a stern look and a preventive Silencing Charm. Still, Sirius couldn't help wagging his tail happily at her nor to pay far more attention to her lecture than it was probably wise considering that he was supposed to be an irrational animal. Transfiguration had always been his favourite subject and McGonagall his favourite teacher, he could never tire of listening to her (when she was in a non-scolding mood), although it was a little frustrating to attend her classes without being able to try the spells.

When the Transfiguration Mistress —and an Animagus herself—, didn't suspect what he was, Sirius relaxed and assumed no one would. But he was mistaken. He had opportunity to hear his godson swear under his breath for the first time when Moody made him and his dog stay after class, and Sirius himself panicked when Harry whispered to him that the Auror had the Marauder's Map in his power. Luckily for them, however, once Harry had assured him that Sirius was innocent and that Dumbledore knew all about it Mad-Eye's only reaction was to laugh at the idea of Snape having been bitten by his old nemesis. And while lending the map to a teacher was definitely a sacrilege, in the end Sirius had to admit that it was good that Moody was using it to keep an eye on Snape behind Dumbledore's back. Someone had to properly watch the greasy git.

Interesting as it was to come into contact with the adult component of Hogwarts, being Harry's dog meant that he mainly got to interact with children. And Sirius was partly relieved by that, even if half the children in Hogwarts were afraid of him or seemed to hate Harry. Kids had so much life in them! They were always laughing and joking, and many were eager to play with Sirius or at least scratch him behind the ears.

Most of all, Sirius wanted to make sure that Harry had good people around. Loyal people who would stick with him the way Ron clearly hadn't. And he was satisfied to see that Harry had such people. There was Hermione, of course, whose loyalty Sirius had no reason to doubt especially considering that she had Crookshanks to vouch for her. And then there was Neville. Sirius had been surprized to learn that the Alice-looking boy that went everywhere with Harry was, indeed, little Neville. He had heard Bellatrix in Azkaban bragging about what she had done to the Longbottoms —mental images that had contributed to his hell of despair—, but clearly —and mercifully— at least part of Bella's boasting had been empty. Neville was here, after all, and he looked healthy if a bit shy. And a kind soul if Sirius had ever met one. He could easily imagine how pleased Lily and Alice would be if they knew that their sons were friends.

Ron might be an idiot at present, but his siblings seemed to be unconditionally on Harry's side, and the three of them were definitely funny and devious enough to gain Sirius' instant approval. The twins actually reminded him of Fabian and Gideon, but also of himself when he was their age, which was why Sirius was extremely wary of them and especially of those suspicious treats that they kept offering him.

Even the annoying kid that insisted on taking pictures of Sirius and Harry seemed to also be unconditionally on Harry's side, although he behaved more like a fan than a friend and Harry tended to avoid him.

There were many other kids whom his godson was friendly with, but Sirius didn't think any others would even remotely qualify as friends. The other boys in his year were nice enough, but apparently they were friends with Ron so Harry tended to avoided them. As to the other girls, they seemed shallow and more than a bit silly judging by their resistance to accept that Sirius wasn't a Grim. He had some fun following them around and striving to look menacing whenever they looked at him, to Harry and Hermione's amusement.

He didn't know what to make of the girl that Ginny brought one day to the Gryffindor table to be introduced to Snuffles, though. For one scary moment Sirius felt certain that the odd girl could see through his disguise, by the way she addressed him as if she were talking to a person. Harry seemed to fear the same, because he quickly intervened and redirected the girl's attention to himself while he subtly signalled Hermione to take Sirius away. Later Ginny explained to them that Luna —that was the girl's name— was just special and believed in things that no one else did. Sirius was more inclined to think that this Luna was unusually perceptive or even some sort of clairvoyant, which was why he made sure of maintaining a prudent distance from her from then on even though it sounded like no one would believe her if she suddenly were to claim that Harry Potter's dog was a fugitive in disguise.

Whenever Sirius wasn't observing people or keeping up his dog cover, he discreetly watched his godson in an attempt to figure out who he was and how he was holding on. He had felt quite at a loss since the moment he had met him last year, and his feeling of inadequacy as a godfather had only increased ever since Harry's name had come out of the Goblet of Fire and he had confirmed, that day in the Floo, that he couldn't advise him or help him in any way. Now he still couldn't help him, but he might as well use the opportunity to get to know him.

Unfortunately, Harry wasn't someone easy to get to know, at least not for someone trapped in the body of a dog. Even when they had briefly met as humans in Dumbledore's office the kid had seemed closed off, only willing to discuss Snape or Sirius' safety, barely anything about himself spilling out. Sirius had hoped he would confide in him later, out of the Headmaster's hearing, but Harry turned out to be even less willing to share personal stuff with his dog.

Sirius had noticed that his godson had grown less communicative ever since he had become a champion. The letter informing him about his killing a dragon to survive the first task had been barely longer than a Ministry memo, and even though following letters had been somewhat better, full of reassurances and even cheerful small talk, everything had sounded forced or fake to Sirius. He suspected that Harry had been keeping all his fears and troubles to himself so as not to worry him, or perhaps to avoid himself the frustration of not receiving any helpful advice in return. Sirius certainly had had a lot of trouble writing back.

He had wanted to believe that Harry's reluctance to talk had only been directed at the godfather that he barely knew, but now that he was here he noticed that he didn't share much with his closest friends either. In fact not even Hermione and Neville got to hear the complete story of what exactly had happened at the bottom of the lake, to everyone's frustration.

As if guessing his thirst for information, in the third day of his stay at Hogwarts Hermione took Snuffles alone for a walk along the lake shore and began talking about Harry. She seemed to be speaking less for his benefit than for her own catharsis, but Sirius was eager for whatever insight she could give him into the mystery that his godson was to him so he did his best to keep up with her.

The bottom line was that Hermione was worried about Harry. She worried that the Tournament was changing him, making him bitter and more reluctant to ask for help than he had already been. It worried her that Harry was much quieter now, no longer confiding in her as much as he used to and bottling everything up. Apparently he hadn't talked at all about the first task even though he had been deeply in shock after killing the dragon. Harry was always sad now, she said, and she thought that had a lot to do with losing Ron. Hermione had a lot to say about Ron, noticed Sirius, and somehow that part of her rambling ended up in a long monologue about Viktor Krum and how confused she was. Because she really liked Krum, and she was more than flattered by his attention, but she wasn't sure she felt quite so strongly as the Bulgarian obviously felt, and everything seemed to be moving so fast, but she feared it would affect Harry's alliance somehow if she pulled the brakes, but she also feared she could no longer date Krum if some part of her was only doing it to help Harry, and she felt awful thinking that way when she actually really liked Krum, and she feared her parents would not approve of her dating someone so old, and it was really frustrating sometimes to talk to Krum because the Goblet stopped her from speaking freely, and... By that point Sirius had developed a headache and was feeling completely out of his depth, relieved that he couldn't talk because he wouldn't have a clue of what to say. Feelings and complex stuff had never been his thing, although he could understand the freaking out part. If at her age —or any age— a girl he had just began to date had been revealed to have such a serious crush on him as Krum clearly had on Hermione judging by his 'choice' of hostage, Sirius would have definitely freaked out and ran in the opposite direction.

It was plain that Hermione needed to talk to someone, but Sirius thought it should be someone like Remus. Definitely not an irresponsive dog that had spent over a decade in Azkaban and had never been very tactful to begin with. Female brains had always been too much for him to contend with, in fact that long walk with Hermione left Sirius half-wishing to be back in the solitude of a cave with a silent Buckbeak as only company.

He was grateful for everything she had told him about Harry before she had gotten derailed by her own personal issues, though. And he was also less anxious about Harry's alliance with a Durmstrang champion after hearing Hermione speaking so highly of the Bulgarian, although now he was worried that the alliance might have broken with whatever had happened at the bottom of the lake. Apparently Krum was even less communicative than Harry, and nobody could ask the champions about the alliance so it seemed that everyone was doomed to remain in ignorance. The gossipers of Hogwarts seemed to be more frustrated by the limitations of the Goblet of Fire than anyone else in the castle.

Sirius would have been willing to go on further headache-inducing walks with Hermione if she had taken him, but unfortunately Skeeter's article in Witch's Weekly came out the day after that walk. Amongst other repercussions of the article (including some nasty situation in Potions class that made Sirius want to bite Snape again when he heard about it), Hermione became convinced that Skeeter was somehow eavesdropping around Hogwarts and therefore it wasn't safe to address Sirius as anything other than a dog no matter how alone they thought they were. Sirius was more inclined to believe that any random student had overheard Hermione and Krum after the second task and then told Skeeter, but he couldn't very well argue with Hermione so he simply had to accept that there would be no more informative walks.

He tried to watch out for that bitterness that Hermione had mentioned, though, his only discovery being a wry sense of humour that Sirius had never been aware of and that could easily be Lily breaking through. Harry was a lot like her, after all. In fact so far Sirius had only seen a James-like expression on his face when glaring murderously at Snape, the rest of the time the kid looked like Lily on a sad day.

Because yes, Harry was definitely sad. And it warmed Sirius to think that part of that sadness might be related to his imminent departure. Harry might not talk to him much, but he had developed a habit of burying his fingers in Sirius' fur and holding on to him as if he didn't want to ever let go. Sirius would not have believed such attachment was possible (and even less deserved) if not for the fact that he had been Harry's hostage. The kid really cared about him. For some crazy reason he wanted him around.

And still Sirius could offer him nothing.