Author's Notes: First off, a huge shout-out, hug, and thank-you to Angela, who literally wrote like…a third of both this chapter AND the next one. I was struggling SO damn much with this one, and she more than pulled me through it!

That's also why this took an extra week. This chapter was original over 13K words and had a LOT happening, so I decided to split it up. Chapter 22 will put us back on schedule though!

Also also - Disclaimer: The opening scene is based directly on a scene from the "Can't Fear Your Own World" novel. I took the basic dialogue, put it in Aizen's perspective, and fleshed a couple things out while summarizing others.

Content warning: Elements of emotional manipulation/abuse. What is portrayed here is Not Okay. Please do NOT idealize this relationship. A partner should not make you do something you're afraid of/were traumatized by, full stop. I don't care if it's under the guise of "but it's good for you"/"you'll be stronger because of it." Pushing through that fear/trauma/discomfort should NOT be a requirement for acceptance and affection.

So yeah. There's tricky stuff in this story about a person in a relationship with a manipulative, callous, (generally) unemotional megalomaniac. Who'd've thunk it?

That said, if you're enjoying the story…thank you! For all the problematic stuff that has been and will be included, I'm honestly enjoying writing it, and I don't think there should be any shame in getting something positive out of reading it. This chapter (and the last) definitely had some difficult scenes to write, though, I won't lie. I don't like bringing Kaede so low, but it is part of her journey as a character. I hope this goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: I would NEVER wish any of this on a real person. I barely "wish" it on my own character, but it's fiction - by far, the safest place to explore difficult and even traumatic themes. This story isn't for everyone, and that's okay.

Aaaand now I'll shut up and get y'all into the story!

21. Justice

Earlier that day

There were times that Aizen truly appreciated Kaede's skills and insight. Her senses had only grown more keen with her time in the Stealth Corps, to the point that he doubted there were many in the Seireitei that could match her.

So when he read her note the day before about an interesting figure at the funeral for Tokinada's wife, he paid attention.

Finding the young man had been easy; it was rare for a Rukongai citizen to be allowed into the Seireitei, and wandering was hardly an option. Aizen first found him standing at Kakyo's open casket, speaking softly to the corpse. How could this happen to you, why… It seemed like he hadn't yet heard the rumors.

Aizen made sure that by the next morning, he had.

He had to admit: the young man was bold. Few Shinigami would dare try to storm the Central 46 compound demanding an audience and justice - granted, most Shinigami had been conditioned to assume that Central 46's decisions were flawless and final.

That Tsunayashiro Tokinada himself showed up to seemingly help the young man was a stroke of pure luck. Aizen watched from the shadows as the nobleman toyed with Tousen Kaname, telling the latter the truth behind Kakyo's murder while masterfully avoiding mentioning that he was the culprit. Tokinada was clearly a masterful manipulator, though Aizen had the sense that there was little behind those snake-like eyes aside from cruel delight at causing despair. He had no goal, no intention of using his power or status to do anything worthwhile; if anything, he seemed content to bask in the absurdity of his situation.

He was, in short, a disgusting creature.

Tousen Kaname, however, was far more interesting to Aizen. His blindness made him immune to Kyoka Suigetsu, though that was more of a fun bonus than anything else. Aizen was more intrigued by his burning desire for justice, his brash boldness, his despair at realizing that the world he lived in was irrevocably despicable.

Tokinada saw all of those things as entertainment; Aizen, however, saw them as opportunities.

Once Tokinada was finished playing with Tousen, leaving him to be beaten by the guards, Aizen made his move: With a little tweak of perception from Kyoka Suigetsu, the guards were busy beating each other rather than their actual target.

"I switched the water in their canteens for alcohol," he told the bewildered young man, sidestepping the brawling guards. "I believe their actions will be put down as a fight while drinking on the job. The aristocrat will suspect something, but we just need to make him think he's jumping at shadows."

Tousen started at the sound of his voice, scrambling backwards at first to get away from him. "Who - who are you? Another Shinigami?!"

Already so much hatred dripping from the word…Aizen smiled. Tousen had been played with enough; he would grant the young man the courtesy of honesty. "Yes. That is exactly what I am. I'm just a fragment of the world that, in your despair, you burn with hatred for. I wonder…would you surrender that hatred to me for a while?"

The words had the desired effect, kindling the fire in Tousen's soul while also catching him off guard enough to keep listening. Aizen held out a hand to him.

"My name is Aizen Sousuke," he told the blind man. "At present, I am but a humble Shinigami…but I believe there is much we could do for each other, Tousen Kaname."

Kaede studied the blind young man with renewed interest. Tousen Kaname…She hadn't known his name before. When she'd dropped the secret note for Sousuke, a part of her had hoped for something like this to happen - for them to finally have a true ally, not just another convenient connection who was only here out of fear or greed.

At the very least, it was plain by this meeting that Tousen was no ordinary "investment." Sousuke had plenty of connections throughout the Seireitei and the Rukongai, but rarely did he bother introducing her personally to them like this.

She smiled, even though she knew he wouldn't be able to see it. "It's nice to meet you, Tousen-san. I'm sorry it isn't under better circumstances."

"Likewise," Tousen replied, probably more out of politeness than anything else. "Did you know Kakyo?"

Kaede took a breath before answering. "No, I didn't have that pleasure."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Then why were you at the funeral?"

She shared a quick glance with Sousuke. "I was on Tokinada's guard detail," she told him, not bothering to mask the bitterness in her voice when she mentioned the name.

Tousen's grip tightened around the scabbard of the Zanpakuto. "He was being protected in that way, too…"

"Naturally," Sousuke replied calmly. "Had you confronted or attacked Tokinada while she was present, she'd have been forced to eliminate you."

"Not something I'd have done willingly," she added.

"But how -" Tousen shook with rage. "How could you stand to protect someone like him?!"

"Trust me," Kaede said, "I wanted to impale him more than once in the last week. But if I did that, it'd be my head on the chopping block."

"And it's difficult to make impactful changes when one is dead," Sousuke added lightly. "It is understandable that you are angry, Kaname. That you seek justice is admirable, but the world as it is doesn't contain that justice. It simply doesn't exist."

Tousen was breathing hard, clearly trying to rein himself in. "Then why should I trust you? What makes you any better than the rest of the Shinigami who did nothing when…"

He choked on his words, his clouded eyes misted with unshed tears.

"Whether we are 'better' than others is immaterial," Sousuke replied. "What we are, however, is willing to do what it will take to change this world, from its foundations to its pinnacle. What you must ask yourself is whether you are also ready to do whatever it takes."

Tousen's jaw clenched as his teeth ground together. "And by 'whatever it takes,' you mean I should follow you?" He reached for the hilt of the sword. "I'm not a pawn-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Kaede had his arm twisted behind his back and a knife at his throat. Tousen's eyes widened, his grip on the Zanpakuto going slack in his shock.

"How…? I-"

"Couldn't sense her move?" Sousuke supplied, utterly nonplussed by the fact that this young man had intended to attack them a second ago. "You have talent, Kaname, but you need much work to get on her level."

Kaede moved her blade away from Tousen's throat, but kept her grip on his arm. "Please don't throw your life away so easily. If you truly want justice for Kakyo, it won't come from one man's death. Tokinada deserves it and worse, but it won't fix anything. All it will do is get you killed."

"I don't care!" Tousen thrashed in her hold. "If there is no justice in the world, then at least let me be the one to kill him! I don't care if I die because of it!"

Kaede let him go as he fell to his knees, her heart breaking.

"I know what you're going through right now," she said softly. "Well, maybe not exactly, but I've been in a place like this before. The world you thought you knew, the ideas and dreams you held dear…it's all falling away, isn't it? Like everything you once knew is proving to be a lie or a farce, and there's nothing you can do about it. You want to think that killing the man who killed your friend will do something, but it won't. It might bring you some satisfaction, but the world will still be the same afterward. Kakyo will still be gone, and you'll still be powerless."

Tousen's breath grew ragged, his face twisting in agony.

Kaede knelt before him. She wanted to give him some hope, the way Sousuke had done for her - not with empty platitudes, but with something true. "The world Sousuke and I want to build is a world where the justice you yearn for not only exists, but is enacted for all who deserve it. The reason we're telling you all of this is because we believe you can help us create it."

Tousen's whole being radiated with exhausted despair. "How? How could I possibly do anything? I'm…" He shook his head and dragged the Zanpakuto into his lap. "I don't even know how to use this."

"It is true," Sousuke stated. "As you are now, you aren't capable of much. There is a simple solution, however: Enter the Shin'o Academy and train to become a Shinigami."

"Like Kakyo was?" Tousen asked bitterly. "To serve the same people who let her murderer walk free?"

"To become a warrior," Sousuke corrected. "Take your fear, your despair, your hatred, and hone it, sharpen it into a blade - and allow us to direct that blade to cut down the very system that orchestrated your friend's death. It will take time and sacrifice to truly change it, and it will take strong wills to withstand the painful process. Training in the Shinigami arts is merely a stepping stone on that path to grant you more tools with which to work; ultimately, we must all go beyond what is conventionally accepted to reach our goal."

Kaede could see Sousuke's words at work in Tousen's mind simply by watching the latter's face: The agony of despair melted, only to harden into steely resolve. Yet there was still some defiance, some doubt.

"Why would you trust someone who just tried to attack you?" he asked. "And what reason do I have to trust that you'll be true to your word?"

"Trust has nothing to do with it," Sousuke answered easily. "I won't ask you to trust in our ability to enact the kind of change we're planning. 'Trust' is a notion a few steps behind imagination. What I will do, however, is give you tangible evidence that we can do the impossible - starting by getting justice for your friend."

Kaede's head whipped around. What exactly did he mean by that? Tokinada was already in the Nest by now; he'd been untouchable out in the open, but now…

Dread sank in her stomach as realization dawned on her. Sousuke met her eyes, and in his own, she found her confirmation. The Nest of Maggots was heavily guarded to keep its inmates' very existence a secret; it was, by its very nature, a blind spot, to the point that anything that happened inside was deliberately overlooked.

If Tokinada were to die inside a place that, officially, didn't even exist…even if his noble family cared enough to investigate, it wasn't like there was much they could do about it. The Stealth Corps, which oversaw the Nest, was run by another noble family, and so out of their jurisdiction. If the Stealth Corps itself looked into it…well, it would be easy to make it seem like some other inmate was responsible.

But the only way to pull it off - the best guarantee they had of doing so - was if she was the one to do it.

The Nest was a maze. Even if Kaede were to draw a map, it would be nearly impossible for anyone who hadn't been there before to navigate it at all, let alone in secret. But she knew that maze inside out, knew the patterns of the guards, knew every secret passageway and shadowed alcove that hid the dark deeds that happened in that place.

No, she wanted to shout, to scream. I am NOT going back there! They'd find some other way to persuade Tousen. They didn't even need him, did they? There would be other allies, other people to "invest" in.

But she couldn't say any of this now, not in front of Tousen. Instead, Kaede tried to beg Sousuke with her eyes for this to not be true. She couldn't go back, she swore she'd never go back, why did he want her to go back?

"There is more to Kakyo's murder than you know," was what he said instead - and though his words were ostensibly for Tousen, he looked directly at Kaede as he spoke. "More to Soul Society's sins than almost anyone knows. I cannot show you the evidence, Kaname, not in a way that you'd be able to perceive; but I can help you hear it from the mouth of your friend's killer. Within the next few days, you will have a small measure of justice, but you will also have to decide if it is enough for you."

"And if I still refuse to be someone else's pawn?" Tousen asked.

Sousuke's mouth turned up at the corners. "Then use this as an opportunity to sharpen your sword, that you may one day reach us with it."

Kaede managed to keep herself together until after they saw Tousen back across the border into the Rukongai. He'd been given instructions that she barely registered; her head rang with a single, deafening imperative that she finally vocalized when they got back home.

"I can't go back." Her entire body began to tremble. "I can't do this. I can't-"

"You can," Sousuke replied simply, walking past her. "And you will."

Through her growing panic, Kaede bristled at his tone. "Is that an order?"

"I consider it more a 'fact,'" he responded. "If you would prefer I order you like an underling, I will. But I don't think that is necessary."

Her mouth fell open in incredulity. "If you think I am setting one foot in that place-"

"I don't 'think' it," he corrected, turning his razor-sharp gaze on her, "I know that you will."

She almost responded with a petulant, No, you don't KNOW that, but stopped herself. She already felt like a child being scolded; those words would just make that more of a reality. "Why? Is this some sort of punishment? Are you that mad at me for releasing my Shikai?"

Sousuke sighed and closed his eyes. "We will discuss this at a time when you are thinking rationally."

"No, we will discuss it now!" She grabbed his arm to stop him from turning away again. His eyes snapped back to hers, and for a second, Kaede felt the weight of his reiatsu closing in around her. Her own flared back in defiance. "You want me to be rational? How about this: You're telling me to break into a prison that doesn't officially exist in order to kill a member of the most powerful noble clan in the Seireitei, all while I'm probably already under scrutiny for having a Shikai I'm not supposed to have!"

"And whose fault is that last one?" Sousuke asked coolly. "Or are you denying what you said earlier this evening about being able to take care of that?"

Kaede sputtered, her mind casting about madly for any other reason to not agree to this. "I - that's - what good would it do, though? Killing one low-level noble - how does that actually help anything? He's nothing, and there are so many ways this could backfire!"

"And we will discuss them all," Sousuke countered. "As we always do, until no scenario is left unconsidered. As for why: there are several advantages. First and foremost, doing so would secure our newest ally - the same one you brought to me to begin with. Aside from that, Tokinada is, as you said, inconsequential - except that he was surprisingly conscious when the attack occurred the other night. Is there anything you'd like to share about that?"

He'd noticed. Of course he'd noticed, and now Kaede felt dread sink in her stomach. Tokinada was aware of her attempt to sedate him. While that would be a small thing for most Stealth Corps operatives to wave away, it would be easy for him to spin it against her.

Or does the "Child of the Catastrophe" not care how such an act would look to those who hold her life in their hands?

"This is the perfect chance," Sousuke continued, "to turn your blunder into an opportunity. In the next day or so, you will be called for an impromptu check-up because of your little display; Central 46 will want to know that your seals are working properly and will likely order a full workup. The next step they'd take is a demonstration, but they'll need to wait a few days for you to recover. Doubtless they will keep you under close watch - which is why it's the perfect time to kill Tokinada. With so many eyes on you, there would be no suspicion when Tokinada winds up dead days after he enters the Nest of Maggots."

She wanted to argue more, but she knew he'd have an answer for everything. In the face of his icy rationality, her fiery anger was stifled and smothered, leaving ample room for the fear she'd been suppressing to flood into its place.

"I can't go back," she insisted, though it came out as a whimper. She sank to her knees, still holding onto his sleeve. "Please, don't make me go back there…"

Sousuke wasn't the kind of man who'd succumb to begging - she'd known that for almost as long as she'd known him. But she could think of no other way to appeal to him, to make him see that she couldn't do this, he couldn't do this to her. It didn't matter how airtight of a plan they made; every one of her instincts screamed that if she went back to the Nest, she'd never make it out again.

"Please," she whispered again as tears fell down her cheeks. "Don't make me go back…"

He looked down at her impassively. "Look at what your fear is doing to you right now. It's made you weak, pathetic - everything they want you to be. They want you terrified that they could send you back there without a moment's notice should you step a toe out of line, and it's worked."

Kaede shut her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek to try and stop the tears. She didn't want to be weak, or pathetic, especially not to him. Never to him. She had so much power, and she knew that - so why couldn't she be strong too? Why was she so goddamn afraid of a place that, if she really wanted to, she could destroy with a thought?!

She felt his fingers grasp her chin, forcing her to look up at him through tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

"Where is the woman I married?" he asked, the disappointment in his tone so much worse than anger could ever be. "My goddess, the one who will stand beside me at the top of the heavens? This sniveling mess kneeling before me now is none of those things."

She wanted to look away, but that would be backing down. She wanted to leave, to curl up and hide somewhere, but that would confirm everything he was accusing her of. There was no running from this. She had to face it, to find some iota of the strength he saw in her and use it. She could do this. The Nest was just a place, and she knew it better than almost anyone. It was just a place, underground and damp and cold and filled with so much bitter despair it could be tasted -

Kaede dug her fingernails into her palms. Her whole body was stiff as a corpse; it took real effort to make muscles release. Prying her tongue from the roof of her mouth, she pushed out the words she needed to say in a cracked whisper. "I'll do it."

There. She was committed now. No going back, no more second guessing.

"That's my woman," Sousuke said with a small smile. She let him help her to her feet, fighting back against a wave of dizziness and nausea.

"I know you are afraid," he said softly, stroking her cheek. "But know this: Even if the very worst should happen and you are trapped in there again, it wouldn't be for long. I would never allow anything to keep you from me, Kaede. You should know that by now."

She nodded stiffly, not trusting herself to open her mouth again.

He planted a kiss on her forehead. "Get some sleep, love. We will deal with the rest in the morning."

Just as Sousuke predicted, Kaede was summoned to a checkup the very next day. How long had Soi Fon waited to tell Yoruichi, she wondered? Did the other woman even realize how big a deal this was? Kaede wasn't sure which answer she'd prefer.

The checkup included a full workup - again, just as Sousuke had guessed. As with every appointment, he stood in the observation room, directing what Urahara and the others saw; she simply had to act accordingly, strengthening the suggestion in their minds.

Urahara didn't come to see her or speak to her outside of his role as Central 46's mouthpiece. If it weren't his voice coming in through the speaker, Kaede wouldn't have known he was there at all. She was a little offended: no acknowledgement from him about her having Shikai? Really? Not even a bit of curiosity?

Of course not. He just didn't care.

Kaede was brought home by a couple of guards and left in Sousuke's care. In three days, she was to report to the training yard of Division Two for further evaluation; until then, she was, as far as anyone else knew, convalescing.

Preparations took another day and a half. Body doubles would help sell the illusion that she and Sousuke were home the entire time; the only people who ever came to visit when Kaede was supposedly in recovery were already under Kanzen Saimin. Sousuke made sure that Urahara was following a false lead on the Tsunayashiro break-in, so there was little chance of him being at the Nest when the time came.

The whole time, Kaede did her best to focus on the mechanics of the operation, psychologically removing herself from the equation as much as possible. This was just an infiltration mission. Get in, accomplish the objective, get out. Better, actually, as it served their interests rather than Soul Society's.

Her detachment lasted until the time came to enter the Nest.

She made it all the way onto the artificial island without incident. Between her old skills in hiding in plain sight and Sousuke's hypnosis, it was easy to slip into the group of second unit guards on their way to take up their shift in the Nest.

As soon as she spotted the doors, the only way in or out of the Nest, Kaede's head felt dangerously light. Her limbs locked up, and it took everything she had to keep walking. Sousuke was watching everything from the Tsunayashiro's surveillance quarters; she couldn't turn back.

The guards were thoroughly checked for hidden or forgotten weapons, their Zanpakuto left in the care of their comrades outside. Kaede stayed very still during the pat-down, holding her breath as their eyes looked directly at her without actually seeing her.

They would find no weapons, of course. She was the weapon.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she left the sun and open air farther and farther behind. The all-too familiar smell of damp rock filled her nostrils; the air became close and chilled. Her throat threatened to close more than once in those few minutes; her hands and jaw trembled so badly she worried she'd call attention to herself in spite of the hypnosis. Every instinct screamed at her to turn around and run.

But she couldn't. As much as she dreaded what awaited her below, she didn't even want to consider what would happen if she abandoned or failed this mission.

I don't want to be left behind, she reminded herself. And I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Sousuke was certain that she'd come out of this stronger. So far, he'd been right about pretty much everything - and more importantly, she wanted, needed to be that strong, powerful person he believed she could be.

The only way to do that was to move forward.

The hardest part of this infiltration would be getting across the open space of the yard without any inmates noticing her - no small feat. There were few hiding places in the yard, and while the guards were all hypnotized, the inmates were not. There was a chance someone might recognize her, or at least realize she wasn't supposed to be there.

Of course, they'd prepared for that.

The guards entered the yard, greeting their relieved brethren. There'd be a couple of minutes while the old guard updated the new on anything noteworthy; using them as cover, Kaede quickly discarded the dark cloak she'd worn on the way in, leaving her barefoot in a simple, white robe - a prisoner's robe. It was just a disguise - she even had a wig to cover her distinctive hair - but it felt far too familiar, a reminder of the fate she'd tried so hard to escape.

She hunched her shoulders, making herself smaller and letting the false hair obscure her face. It was sickeningly easy to mimic the listless shuffle of so many other inmates; her old habits returned on their own, bolstered by years of stealth training she'd undergone since leaving. Slowly, oh so agonizingly slowly, she made her way across that yard, passing blank faces and lifeless stares.

She was almost at the other end when a familiar figure wandered into the yard right in front of her - one she hadn't seen since her Academy days.

Honda-sensei?

It was him - the Hakuda instructor who'd used the Failsafe on her in her first year, who'd leaked the trigger of that seal to who knew how many people. He'd been dismissed from his teaching post by Head Captain Yamamoto himself, though Kaede couldn't recall what happened to him after that.

He'd been put here?

Shit! Kaede racked her brain: Was Honda-sensei under Kanzen Saimin? Would Sousuke have ever had the opportunity or need to put him under hypnosis? Shit, shit, shit! She couldn't panic. She just had to step around him before he got a good look at her.

As soon as the thought entered her head, Honda-sensei's bloodshot eyes rose to her face.

Kaede stopped breathing. She quickly averted her eyes away from his, ducking her head and hoping that the wig would throw him off.

"You…"

He was speaking to her.

"Y-you," he stammered quietly, stepping closer and peering at her. "I know you…do I know you?"

Kaede stepped around him, keeping her face turned away - but he grabbed her sleeve.

"I d-don't belong here," he whimpered. "I didn't do anything, I didn't do anything!"

His voice rose with every pronouncement until he was shouting.

"I didn't do it! I didn't do it!"

Groans and shouts rose from other inmates in the yard, some yelling at him to shut up, others agitated by his display. When someone else came over, threatening to silence Honda by force, Kaede took her chance to slip away.

Once in the hallways leading to the barracks, Kaede leaned hard against a stone wall, her breath ragged. She hadn't known Honda-sensei would be here. Of course he'd been put in the Nest: He'd been disgraced, stripped of his post and - apparently - his Shinigami status. It wasn't like he could just be left alone to live the rest of his life after that.

The one saving grace was that he looked like the Nest had gotten to him already: he was gaunt, his hair patchy and unkempt, and he had the same despondent, glassy-eyed look of so many other inmates. Even when he'd looked straight at her, Kaede had the impression that he hadn't recognized her, and even if he had…who would believe the ravings of a man who'd clearly lost his mind?

The thought brought her no comfort. That was the fate that awaited every unfortunate soul down here, and while she had no love for Honda-sensei, seeing him like that was a reminder of what this hopeless place did to people.

Tokinada, she reminded herself. You're here for Tokinada. But she couldn't make herself move. Her palms sweated against the cold stone wall; she couldn't move, could barely even breathe, how was she supposed to do anything like this? She was going to be trapped here, and while Sousuke said he wouldn't let anything keep her from him, would he really come for her if she wound up stuck because of her own cowardice?

Or would he decide she was no longer worth the trouble?

The thoughts - the hardest thoughts, the ones she avoided like the plague when she could - came unbidden. She knew that Sousuke viewed her differently than his other investments; she had never seen him drop his mask so freely with anyone, and there had been moments over the years where he seemed to genuinely feel things because of her. Surely that had to mean something.

But the fact remained that she was, in fact, an investment. When he'd broken her seals, it wasn't simply to free her; it was with the hopes that she would use that power on his behalf, to further the dream that they shared. He gave her everything she'd been denied for so long at the behest of Soul Society, made her his partner and dubbed her his "goddess" as a representation of everything he wanted her to become - someone who could conquer and rule by his side, someone who would allow nothing to stop them from achieving their goals.

What would happen if, one day, he decided that she wasn't the person he'd hoped she would be?

Kaede balled her sweating hands into fists, willing herself to step away from the wall. She couldn't let that day come - she wouldn't allow it to happen. She had to be the person Sousuke saw.

Otherwise, she might as well stay in this hellhole forever.

Kaede cast out her senses, searching for her target. After guarding the bastard for over a week, she was well attuned to his slimy signature.

She didn't have to search for long: he was walking down the very hall she was in.

"Trying to avoid the action?" Tokinada's cultured voice reached her ears before she saw him emerge from the shadows. "Oh, you poor thing, you look scared to death!"

Kaede kept her head ducked and decided to play into whatever Tokinada thought he was seeing, even wrapping her arms around her middle for added effect.

"I-I don't like it out there," she said in a small, high voice that she hoped sounded nothing like her.

Tokinada sighed lightly. "Well, I suppose that once you've seen one brawl between desperate, miserable sods, you've seen them all."

"Is it always like that?"

"Truly?" He shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. I'm rather new here, myself." He offered her a smile that, had she not known any better, would have seemed warm and inviting. "Come with me. I may not know this place well yet, but I've found a wonderful hiding spot."

He went so far as to offer her his arm, which she hesitantly took. It didn't take long for her to recognize the route he led her down: The hidden hallway was precisely where she remembered it, every twist and corner as familiar as her own hand.

It could be a coincidence. He could just be isolating who he thought was a random inmate for whatever sick mind games he wanted to play. That was fine; she needed him isolated, anyway.

"Not to worry," Tokinada assured her. "This particular corner is avoided by the others, even the guards." His voice dropped to a conspiratory volume. "From what I understand, it's where they used to house the Child of the Catastrophe! Can you believe that?"

"I-is it safe to go there?"

"Oh, plenty safe. It's just superstition that keeps people away. Ironic, isn't it? So many of the inmates here are ex-Shinigami, and yet even they are frightened by ghost stories. Don't worry, I've yet to uncover any skulls or other body parts hidden away in there."

She almost rolled her eyes. First of all, she would never keep such memento mori where she slept; second, with her abilities, there wouldn't have been anything left of her so-called "victims." The idea that she'd have skulls or whatnot lying around was ridiculous.

"Do you know much about that person?" Tokinada asked conversationally. "The so-called 'Child of the Catastrophe,' I mean. Not the most accurate moniker these days; she is hardly a child anymore. I find her quite fascinating, myself - not for her power, mind you. I don't really care about such things. Rather, it's that she's a perfect case study in how to use hope to create compliance. Now, I don't know what you did to be thrown in this cesspool, but imagine if you'd grown up here - a place without hope. Only, you have something to look forward to: a way out. So long as you stay in line and follow their rules, you'll be allowed to live and - honor of honors - serve the 'greater good.' You would probably withstand any misery and humiliation at their hands if it meant a drop of something like freedom."

She had to admit - he was right. That had been her when she first left this godsforsaken place. The small glimmer of hope Urahara had given her - a chance to get out of the Nest, to become a Shinigami, to do 'good' things…that had kept her sane while so many others around her went mad.

It hit her then, a revelation she hadn't expected to come from the living trash talking to her: Her fear, then and now, hadn't been of death. It had been of a life without that hope.

Tokinada grinned, his eyes focused not on the path ahead, but on some pleasing mental image. "Now, if I had been given charge over that person…I wouldn't use fear as an incentive. Fear is so trite, so easy to instill. No…I think I'd give that child everything they ever wanted right from the start. Instead of a prison cell, they'd have a warm bed and all the toys they could wish for. Instead of being shamed, I'd pay servants to shower them with affection. They'd live in luxury and comfort, like a prized hog on a farm."

His expression grew almost gleeful. "Then, when the time came, they'd be told the truth: That they'd killed thousands. That they were, in fact, reviled throughout both the Seireitei and the Rukongai, even by the very servants who'd been paid to keep them happy. And that they'd only been 'rescued' for one purpose: to have that special something that gave them power harvested from them."

Kaede's stomach turned. The place he'd chosen, this topic of conversation…there was little doubt in her mind now that he knew exactly who he was speaking to. He was trying to make her react, probably thought that he was espousing things that she wasn't already aware of.

They'd reached her old cell. The door hung open at a familiar angle, the inside lit by the same dim bulb - but the cell itself was no longer empty. There were items strewn about: a blanket and pillow on the bed, books on the desk…someone was living here.

"So what do you think, my little Shadow?" Tokinada asked her then. "Which would you have preferred?"

He was living here. Of course they'd given him her old cell; Tokinada's noble status would grant him special treatment, even here.

"Do you like what I've done with the place?" he asked, watching her face. "Granted, I've only had a few days to spruce it up."

Kaede yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Why bring me here?"

"The better question," Tokinada said, "is why are you here in the Nest? Are you that afraid that I'll tell someone about your attempt to sedate me? Or did someone put you up to this?"

"If you know I'm here to kill you, why bring me to a secluded area that everyone else avoids?" she demanded again.

"Maybe I simply respect that you wouldn't want others to know you're here," Tokinada offered with a half-shrug. "And maybe I'm already bored to tears and you being here is the best chance I have for entertaining myself. Besides…" He sauntered over to her, his voice dropping to a low, almost intimate timbre. "You've yet to even try killing me, though you've had ample opportunities in the past several minutes. So perhaps you're here for some other reason. Or is your intention to rough me up a bit first? Make me beg for mercy for my crimes?"

Kaede had to admit: making him beg for mercy was an appealing idea. "You should die for what you did."

Tokinada laughed, a high, grating sound. "Wait - you really are here to get justice for Kakyo? Someone you didn't even know? Oh Shadow, you really are a bleeding heart. I know that from where you stand, my actions were repulsive. But if you knew the things my dear family had planned for her, you could argue that killing her was an act of kindness."

Bile rose in her throat. Tokinada really was a true representation of everything wrong with the world, and she longed to end his pitiful existence right then and there - but she needed to have patience. He was finally getting to the things she needed to hear from him, after all. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Tokinada gave her a smile that was both monstrous and condescending. "You think my family, the great, powerful, noble Tsunayashiro Clan, would have allowed any of its members - even a minor one like myself - to marry a commoner from the Rukongai without some ulterior motive? I almost pity you, Shadow; you're so grateful to be alive that you don't even think to question such things. I suppose it's not entirely your own fault, though - you probably can't ask such questions, for fear of losing whatever illusion of freedom the higher ups have allowed you to believe you have. So I guess I'll have to tell you…" He sighed, as if he were going to some great trouble, but the sickening smile on his face never faded.

"Kakyo first caught the eye of my family while she was in the Academy," Tokinada began. "Her reiatsu was particularly potent, even when she'd been nothing more than a peasant in the Rukongai. But what made Kakyo's strong reiatsu particularly interesting was the source from which it came. You see, Kakyo was born with something…special inside her soul. Something that stems all the way back to the beginning of the worlds as they exist today. A fragment, if you will. My family has been very interested in that special something, and so every time they came across someone who seemed to carry a similar fragment inside them, they made efforts to…acquire them.

"Most of the time, my family tried to find ways to separate those fragments from those who carried them. That was always a messy process, and as you can imagine, it never ended well for the poor souls involved." He chuckled. "With Kakyo, the clan leaders thought it would be interesting to see what happened if, instead of picking apart her reiatsu to find the prize inside, they made her bear a child. If all went well, she and others like her would have been brought in as breeding stock for the Tsunayashiro clan. If not…well, dissection was always on the table." He paused, and then his grin grew even wider. "So yes, I do think that ultimately, Kakyo dying by my hand was a far kinder fate than what awaited her had she lived. As someone who might have been in her place had things turned out a little differently, what do you think, Shadow?"

"I think I would have rather been executed than married to trash like you," Kaede said. "I also think that Kakyo would have seen things far differently if she'd known the monster she was really married to."

"You know the funny thing?" Tokinada asked. "She did know. She just thought that she could change me somehow, like she was on some higher plane that I should aspire to reach." His lip curled in disgust as he spoke, a bit of real contempt peeking through the arrogance - but then he relaxed again. "But it hardly matters now. Kakyo is dead and in the ground, and I will one day walk free…unlike you."

Kaede immediately shifted into a defensive stance, ready to fight - but he didn't move. Instead, he began to chant.

"I bow to the four cardinals, the four noble guardians that encase the world!"

Kaede's eyes widened in recognition, and she realized what he was trying to do. He thought she was still sealed. He thought that he had the upper hand because, for whatever reason, he knew how to activate those seals in such a way that she'd have been paralyzed. No wonder he'd been so calm throughout this whole encounter; he'd been toying with her, assuming that he could overpower her at any second.

Oh, how wrong he was.

For a split second, neither of them moved; Tokinada watched her with manic excitement and expectation.

"Sorry," Kaede said coldly, narrowing her eyes at him. "Was that supposed to do something?"

There was something so delicious about how his excitement melted into confusion, making his revolting grin shrink. "What - but how-"

Any fear or apprehension she'd carried into the Nest with her was gone in that instant. Instead, Kaede felt herself become calm and steady, cold disgust for the man before her overriding anything else.

"I couldn't possibly care less about what nobles like you think," Kaede told him, ice in her voice. "That's why I got rid of those seals years ago."

Tokinada's eyes grew so wide they seemed to bug out of his head. It was exactly the expression she imagined other nobles and judges would have when the day finally came to show them exactly what she thought of their rules and conditions and perceived ownership over her - and it made her hungry for more.

"Did you really think I let you rattle on for so long because I was interested in what you had to say?" she asked, taking slow, deliberate steps toward him. "Or that I'm here on someone else's orders, or to silence you? No - what was your other theory? That I want to make you beg for mercy for your crimes?"

Tokinada's back hit the wall in the small cell.

"I don't care what you have to say," Kaede reiterated, stopping within arm's reach. "Nor do I want to hear you beg. Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your voice."

Tokinada's grin started to return, though it was shakier than before. "So - what? You think you're here to enact justice? The whole world is rotten, Shad - ach!"

He clutched at his throat where she'd just jabbed him, his eyes wide as he tried to breathe with a crushed windpipe.

"My name," Kaede stated, "isn't 'Shadow.'"

He tried to rush past her, heading for the door. Kaede caught him easily by the arm and stomp-kicked the backs of his legs, forcing him to his knees. "You think I'm a mindless little drone who carries out Soul Society's orders without question, that I'm grateful to serve them because they allow me to live? If it would solve anything, I would burn the entirety of the Seireitei to the ground and trap every despicable member of the upper class inside. I'm sure you'd enjoy that too, but unlike you, I wouldn't just be doing it to watch."

She locked him in a chokehold when he started struggling again. "I'm not here on orders from your family or from Soul Society. If you're assuming that I must be here for Kakyo, you are once again mistaken. Don't misunderstand; from what I've heard about her, Kakyo seemed like she was a kind, good-hearted person and she certainly deserves to be avenged, but vengeance isn't what motivates me."

"Then – why -?"

"It's very simple, Tokinada." She leaned in to speak directly into his ear. "I came here to kill you because you deserve to die."

Tokinada's face erupted into an expression of pure rage. He grabbed her wrist, nails digging into her skin as he threw her off of him.

"You think you're so much better than me?" he growled, his voice little more than a wheeze. He wrestled her to the floor, pinning her down with his teeth bared in a snarl. "You think I'm a blemish to be erased from the world? You are nothing!"

He put his hands around her throat, his mouth stretching into a deranged smile. Kaede, however, stared impassively up at him and calmly grasped his wrists. In seconds, Tokinada's grin was twisted with horror as his fingers disintegrated into nothingness. His gasps and yelps of pain and terror, sounds that used to haunt her nightmares, now rang like strange music in her ears.

He scrambled away from her, cradling his mutilated hands to his chest. "Y-you don't know everything," he insisted. "There's more - I can tell you things that no one is supposed to know about, things about the Soul King-"

"Oh, shut up." She kicked him in the throat so that his windpipe was properly crushed. "Nothing you have to say could possibly change what's about to happen. You're going to die, Tokinada, but unlike your wife, there will be nothing left of you to bury."

She grabbed him by the throat - but instead of simply choking him, she reached into herself, her disgust at the sorry excuse for a man before her giving her fuel. This wasn't justice - this would change nothing about the world, do nothing to fix its flaws or prevent future tragedies.

But right now, none of that mattered. She wasn't doing this for the sake of Tokinada's victims, or even for Tousen Kaname. She sure as hell wasn't doing it out of love for Soul Society's laws. She was doing this because she had to - but she couldn't deny that some part of her was enjoying it.

She wanted to watch him suffer, to feel the fear and despair he so relished causing for others. And not just him: in her mind, she saw the faceless figures of Central 46, looking down on her, judging her for something she couldn't control. She thought of the decades of subtle indoctrination that made her believe she was worse than scum - all because she had something that they lacked.

Power.

This man before her was nothing - and she was determined that in a moment, that was all he would ever again be.

Her energy poured into him, around him, wild yet contained as it attacked the very bonds of his being. She took hold of it all, and with a thought, tore it apart until Tokinada ceased to exist. Every cell, every atom of his body became blessedly silent void in that instant.

But it wasn't enough. There was still something left - and for the first time since she was unsealed, she could see it, grasp it…change it.

She'd felt it before with Hollows, a lingering essence so fleeting she could barely comprehend it before it was gone. But this…she could actually see this, touch this. Until a second ago, it had held together everything about the man that was Tokinada, bonding his spirit with his cells and making him distinct from all else.

Kaede quickly encircled that essence with her own power. With the Hollows she'd tried this on, the essence had been too weak and wispy to capture before it dissipated, but this…this was the soul of a strong Shinigami, stable and refined. She didn't want to allow this essence to dissipate into aether - that might give Tokinada a sort of peace he didn't deserve. No…what fate would someone like him detest above all else?

Perhaps…she could make him actually useful for something. What, exactly, she wasn't sure of yet; but for now, containing him, keeping him from progressing or resting, would do.

It was then that the words of her Zanpakuto came back to her: What you seek is 'control,' but what you lack is 'intent.'

It made sense now. With those Hollows, it wasn't just that they'd been weak; she couldn't do anything with the energy they left because she had no real plan or purpose for it. This time, she knew exactly what she was trying to do, and more importantly, why.

Intent guided her power to gather that essence, that soul, and condense it more and more until it became something solid and tangible. Every last trace of Tsunayashiro Tokinada was pressed into a single bead no bigger than a large grain of sand, rendered and refined until it no longer felt anything like the toxic piece of slime it had once been.

When it was done, Kaede slumped against the wall, light-headed and out of breath. Her whole body hummed with power, her senses so raw that she could practically taste the faint traces of reiatsu in the air. She was tired, but she was also floating, the heady rush of using her raw power washing over her like a steamy bath.

It was done.

She couldn't linger here. Her job was finished, she could finally leave this place. As for this tiny grain, this piece of transformed soul…well, now she had a little surprise for Sousuke when she got home.

Deep within the Tsunayashiro estate, Aizen felt a slow smile form as he watched Kaede emerge from the Nest of Maggots. Even in the grainy image on the screen, she was clearly steadier and more confident than when she'd first arrived. They hadn't been able to see what happened inside (there were no cameras within the Nest), but Tokinada had worn a bug designed by his clan that transmitted sound back to this room. That bug was gone now, reduced to same nothingness as the man, but the memory of that exchange…that was something Aizen wouldn't mind holding onto for a while. Just hearing the coldness in her voice, the indifferent superiority as she turned Tokinada from arrogant to pitiful…there was something so appealing about it. Already, Aizen was imagining how he'd reward her for a job well done.

But such pleasures would need to wait just a little longer. Turning away from the monitors, he looked back to check on his companion, who stood just behind him. "Are you satisfied?"

Tousen Kaname was facing the ground, but Aizen could clearly see his tightly clenched fists, the tears that were leaking out of the corners of his closed eyes. When he opened his mouth, his speech was preceded by a harsh, shuddering exhale.

"I should have been the one to avenge Kakyo," he said in a tremulous whisper. "I would have drawn out his suffering...made him understand what true agony is before ending his wretched existence."

"I know you would have liked to," Aizen said, "but the reality is that even if we had allowed you to accompany Kaede into the Nest, you would not have been able to deal with Tokinada on your own. He was the scum of the worlds, undoubtedly, but he was also a trained and experienced Shinigami. I understand your passion, Kaname, but passion alone would not have been enough to bring justice to Tokinada, nor will it be enough to change this world."

Kaname didn't respond immediately - no doubt he was still reeling from Tokinada's death, but Aizen knew he was also contemplating what was said.

"Tokinada...he murdered Kakyo, but he isn't the only one who bears responsibility for her fate." Kaname, to his credit, kept his voice steady in spite of the growing rage Aizen could hear in it. "The Tsunayashiro...Central 46...all of the nobility...this world that they're in charge of, this world that they created...it's rotten to the core. It's monstrous and evil. It cannot be allowed to continue to exist."

Aizen allowed himself a satisfied smile, since Kaname would not be able to see it. He kept his tone neutral when he spoke again. "Then tell me, Kaname: what do you plan to do about it?"

Kaname hesitated for just a moment, but when he spoke again, his words held a conviction Aizen had never heard from any of his subordinates.

"I will enroll in the Shin'o Academy, and I will endeavor to hone my abilities as a Shinigami. I will see justice made reality, and I will help raze this wicked world to dust and ash. And so long as your goal remains the same... I will follow and obey you, Aizen Sousuke."

Author's Notes: And with that, "Can't Fear Your Own World" has officially ceased to exist in the MnA universe! It's not that I don't like it as a story or anything (though the writing style was…yeah I'mma stop there); on the contrary, I got a lot out of it, and it just worked better this way for Kaede's story.

To reiterate: Just because Aizen was technically right about Kaede facing her fears doesn't mean he wasn't also very, very wrong to make her do it. Such a thing should have been her choice, not an ultimatum disguised as "making up" for a perceived wrong.

Next Time: Transcience. Our problematic power couple makes up…Yoruichi confronts Kaede over her Shikai, with surprising results…and Kaede confronts some uncomfortable new truths about herself.

Let me know what you think, and as always…

Stay Tuned!