AN: Okay. This chapter is DONE. I'll admit, I'm posting without doing a final read-through because by god I have been staring at this thing for way too long already and I probably wouldn't even catch any errors at this point.

Which means that when I go back to skim it later, I'll find about a dozen things I want to change. But you know what? Screw it. I'm still pretty happy with this thing. Here ya go.

22. Transience

She couldn't believe it.

She was out of the Nest. It had been so easy to leave, even more so than entering, as though her fear had slowed everything down at the beginning. She kept expecting something to happen: for someone to come check on Tokinada or notice the disappearance of his reiatsu, or to notice her and realize she didn't belong there as she made her way across the yard. Her heart pounded as she slipped out of the main entrance, passing the oblivious guards and flash-stepping her way off the artificial island. Several times, she cast out her senses, checking for pursuers.

Nothing. She was free and clear.

Kaede had to stop for a moment in a secluded alleyway. She was light-headed and weak-limbed with relief, and now that she was out of danger, it was all sinking in.

She'd just killed a man with her raw power. Although she vowed to never use her power to hurt others, she'd done it. She wanted to, and with a shudder Kaede realized she enjoyed it. The pain in his eyes was vindication for her own pain, his screams a balm to scars she thought long healed.

Was this the person, the "goddess" Sousuke saw in her? Was this who she really was, who she could be?

It certainly wasn't who she used to be.

She gripped her forearms tightly, then forced herself to let go of the old habit. No, this was for the best. The "old" Kaede was a scared, timid child compared to what she was now. People change, she thought, and took a deep, calming breath. Yes, the old Kaede, the one content to remain in her place, satisfied with just a pat on the head and breadcrumbs of respect had no place in this world, no place beside Sousuke. He needed an equal, and if she wanted to help him change this broken world, then that's who she had to be. Damned be the bodies she would step on in the process. This was necessary. It had to be done. It was for the greater good.

Feeling calmer, Kaede brushed away some unseen dirt from her hakama and straightened her posture. Tokinada had been an exception, a lapse in control on her part. She did not enjoy killing, but it had to be done. And if she got to kill the man who'd attempted to use her old seals on her, the very same leash that had once tethered her to Soul Society's governing body like a beaten hound, well then call it divine retribution. Vindication. He was a monster, and monsters deserved no mercy.

We cannot go back. We must learn from what we have done and move forward.

Sousuke was already home when she arrived. By the look in his eyes, she knew that he was aware of all that had happened. He opened his arms, and she entered them as though drawn by a magnet. The initial rush of adrenaline had subsided, but her body still hummed with the effects of her power, and the feel of his body against hers stirred a familiar need to life.

"Tousen?" she asked.

"Heard everything," Sousuke confirmed. "And has decided to join our cause - thanks to you."

"Good," she said. "By the way - I brought you something."

She held up her hand between them and opened her fingers to reveal the tiny, pebble-like collection of energy.

Sousuke's eyes went a little wider at the sight. "Is this…?"

"All that's left of Tsunayashiro Tokinada," she confirmed. "I took it and turned it into…this."

Sousuke took it delicately between his fingers, holding it up to the light like he was assessing a gemstone. "It's solid…"

"And stable," Kaede added. "But if I do this…"

She took the pebble back and concentrated, loosening the bonds she'd forced on the soul. It fanned out, particles and energy separating like a small galaxy between them, only to converge back into the compact form.

"It can still be used," she told Sousuke, passing it back to him. "I just wasn't sure what to do with it yet. But I think I know why it wasn't working with those Hollows," she continued. "They were too weak. Their energy was so thin that there just wasn't enough to work with; it disappeared before I could grasp it."

"But a strong enough Shinigami soul doesn't disappear so easily," Sousuke finished. "There is something I need to check on in the Tsunayashiro's records, but I believe we may be able to do something with this." He continued to stare at the object, his eyes alight with possibility.

"So?" Kaede asked, trying to catch his gaze. She kept her tone light as though she was joking, but inside, she squirmed with need for confirmation. "Am I forgiven?"

He drew his eyes away from her creation to meet hers. "There was never anything to forgive. You delivered justice where no one else could, and you finally took control of your power. I know it was difficult for you, at first - facing the fears you've internalized all these years."

He set down the bead of energy and took her face in his hands. "When I married you, you became my wife; today, you have become my queen, a ruler to stand with me. I couldn't be prouder of you, love."

Kaede's eyes slid closed as his praise washed over her like a refreshing current. He wasn't angry with her. He simply pushed her past her limits yet again, and she'd come out stronger for it. He was proud of her? Good - but more importantly, she was proud of herself. She finally felt like the strong, powerful, dangerous creature Sousuke had been trying to bring out in her.

And she loved that feeling.

Kaede pulled him into a hard, deep kiss. His masterfully controlled reiatsu met and mingled with her charged, barely contained storm of energy, and it was like coming home.

"Enough talking," she whispered against his lips. "I need to feel you…"

She bit his lip to draw him back in and reached down to palm his hardening length through his clothes. With her other hand, she pulled at the bindings of his shihakusho. She needed to feel his skin against hers again, to be enveloped by his presence and rid herself of every last trace of the Nest and Tokinada from her being.

A low chuckle vibrated from his chest at her actions. "Interesting…you're always so assertive when you've just used your power. Should I find you more targets?"

"Shut up," she hissed, pushing him back onto the floor. She peeled off the rest of her clothes and straddled his hips, sinking down onto his length with a wanton moan. Her body wasted no time in setting a wild pace that alternated between frantic and sensuous - whatever whim struck her in that moment. Finding her stride, she wound her hands into her hair to give him a full view of her writhing form atop him.

"There she is," Sousuke encouraged, gripping her hips and meeting her with his own powerful thrusts. "There is my queen."

Her whole being lit up in tingling heat at his praise, and the pure desire in his tone shot straight to her core. She'd been so tightly wound over the past few days, so bound up with fear and anxiety, that her climax came almost without effort. She rode him through it, savoring the sensation of being so full of him and the sight of his half-lidded eyes as he watched her.

"Finished already?" he asked in a teasing tone, raking his nails lightly along her thighs.

She leaned over him until she was a hair's breadth away from his lips. "Not even close."

"Good."

With a movement so quick even she could scarcely fathom, she was on her back with Sousuke on top of her, her hands clasped in his above her head. He leaned in to speak directly into her ear, and the promise in his tone could have been her undoing. "Because I haven't even begun to worship you properly."

Kaede half-wanted to protest - she'd been enjoying being on top, having him at her mercy for a change - but then Sousuke began a fast, almost brutal pace and any complaints died immediately. She could barely form thoughts at all; the feel of him inside her, on top of her, all around her as he pistoned his hips against hers occupied every inch of room available in her mind. She locked her legs around his waist and began to meet him thrust for thrust, not caring that she'd surely be bruised come sunrise or that she'd likely have trouble walking. She only cared about feeling every push of him in her core, every squeeze of her wrists that belied his illusion of complete composure as he took her breath away.

He let go of her hands to shift his weight and make his thrusts longer and deeper, occasionally punctuating them with a sudden snap of his hips that had her gasping. When her second orgasm arrived, it was explosive; Kaede had to muffle her scream by sinking her teeth into his shoulder and raking her nails down his back. Sousuke groaned at the pain, the perfect compliment to his own ecstasy, and followed her over the edge, coming deep inside of her.

She sighed happily, savoring the last few seconds of having him inside of her before he inevitably pulled away.

"Has my goddess been adequately satisfied?" Sousuke asked in a lightly mocking tone. "Or do I still have work to do?"

"Shut up and run us a bath," Kaede retorted, too boneless to do more than languidly stretch out on the floor. "Then we'll see."

"Yes, my lady."

Later, soaking together in the hot water, Sousuke told her of what he'd found so far in the Tsunayashiro's archives.

"So Tokinada wasn't just raving," Kaede murmured. "Do you think I'm like Kakyo? A…what was it? 'Fullbringer?'"

"It's possible that you were, in life," Sousuke said. "Though even the ever-observant Tsunayashiro had no clues about your origins, so it's difficult to say for sure. The theory has its holes: first and foremost, the fact that no other Fullbringer has been linked to something like the Catastrophe."

"Are you sure? Maybe people just didn't know-"

"Consider this: For the presumably dozens of Fullbringers the Tsunayashiro found over the centuries, none were linked to any major events or disasters. They were found because of unusually strong reiatsu or, occasionally, unique individual abilities."

It made enough sense, but Kaede's heart sank a bit. For a second, she'd almost been a part of something bigger, a group of others like herself. The thought that she might be truly unique was hardly flattering; instead, it just made her feel lonely…empty.

"What did Tokinada mean by a 'fragment,' though?" she wondered aloud. Maybe there was still something she had in common with these 'Fullbringers.' "Some special thing in the soul…"

"I'm not entirely sure yet," Sousuke admitted. "But I will certainly be looking more into it. I do recall reading something about 'Fullbringers' some time ago: that one trait all known beings like that shared was that their mothers survived a Hollow attack. It could be that some of that Hollow energy infected the mothers and was passed down to their offspring."

"But you just said I'm probably not one."

"I said there are holes in the theory," he corrected. "Not that it is impossible. There may be another explanation, though."

"Which is?"

"A form of Hollowfication."

Kaede spun to face him, eyes wide with disbelief. "What? How would - that's not even possible!"

"Because it's illegal?" he asked with a mocking glint in his eyes.

She glared back in annoyance. "Because it. Isn't. Possible. The konpaku always self-destructs. So unless you're suggesting that I was Hollowfied when I was a living human child…"

She trailed off. Actually…had such a thing ever been attempted on a living human? The very few cautionary tales she'd read about only ever involved Souls. It seemed unlikely, but then again, if she'd learned anything over the past several years it was that Soul Society buried a lot of things. Between the Tsunayashiro clan hoarding knowledge and Central 46 purposefully erasing it when it suited them, it was possible that something like this had happened.

But that would mean…was she actually…

Kaede shivered and sank lower into the warm bath. Her stomach was in knots; she didn't know what to make of this possibility. "So I might be…part Hollow? Or my power, at least?"

"It would explain a few things I've observed about you."

Curiosity made her perk up a bit. "Such as?"

"Your sensory abilities, for one. Hollows are hunters that prey on reishi, so they have a strong, natural sense for it. There's some evidence that especially powerful Hollows, such as Adjuchas or Vasto Lordes, can also detect particular attributes of their prey's reiatsu - something Shinigami need to train rigorously to develop, yet something you exhibited even as a student at the Academy."

Kaede wanted to protest that she did train her senses for decades in the Nest, if only to stay out of other people's way. But then she paused: How had she learned how to do that in the first place? She couldn't recall it being something Urahara taught her to do. Nor had anyone taught her how to analyze and interpret what she sensed, yet she'd been able to feel out the true nature of Sousuke's Zanpakuto.

She shook her head. "That doesn't mean…I can't be…"

"Why not?" Sousuke asked. "Because it's impossible, or because you don't want it to be true?"

Her jaw clenched tightly. He'd hit the nail on the head: she didn't want to be associated with Hollows like that. Perhaps it was just from centuries of indoctrination, but the very idea of having anything in common with a Hollow just felt wrong. And heavens forbid such a theory about her becoming widely known…she'd already spent most of her life as an object of prejudice and revulsion for something she couldn't help.

"There's enough to set me apart," she muttered. "I don't need another reason to be seen as a freak."

"That sounds like the old Kaede," Sousuke admonished. "The one overly concerned with the opinions of others, who was afraid of her own shadow."

"I was not afraid of my own shadow," she retorted. He was right, though, as much as she hated to admit it. "And I'm not that person anymore."

"Good," Sousuke said. "A queen shouldn't be concerned with the opinions of her lessers, especially when they're as easily influenced and ignorant as Soul Society has conditioned them to be."

She cringed a bit at being referred to as a queen like that, though she wasn't sure why. She usually loved it when Sousuke called her his "queen" or his "goddess." But something about it in this context just…didn't feel right.

She must not have masked her discomfort, or perhaps Sousuke simply knew her well, because he soothed her with his hands running up and down her arms, smoothing the goosebumps that had risen there.

"Let's set aside the Hollow question for now," he suggested in a soft tone. "There's something else I found at the estate that you'll find interesting."

"Oh?"

When Sousuke described the Tsunayashiro's observations of the Catastrophe's aftermath, Kaede's curiosity was renewed entirely. She'd never thought much about what was left over after the event, but considering what happened when she used her power on one man…

"What happened to all of that energy?" she wondered aloud.

"My question exactly," Sousuke agreed - though his tone told her he already had a theory.

It only took her a few seconds to guess what that theory was. "You think someone collected it."

"It's not unprecedented," he confirmed. "There've been experiments throughout the centuries on how to both strengthen and weaken konpaku, and in the process, various methods were developed for preserving broken souls - though there's yet to be a way to restore one to full health. What is more curious is that in all my research thus far, I've found no evidence of any experiments involving such energy - at least, none made with Central 46's blessing."

"Then who collected it," Kaede surmised, following his line of thought, "and what's happened to it since then?"

Whoever it was, they'd done so without Central 46 or the most powerful clan in the Seireitei noticing. That took skill not only in handling such energy, but in stealth and secrecy as well - and she knew of one person with skills in each of those areas.

"Urahara," she breathed.

"My thoughts exactly."

It made sense. He'd been the one to "save" her and oversee her sealing, the one who brought her to the Nest as an experiment. He was well-versed in Kido and, she knew from his literary choices, the sciences. He'd definitely taken some samples from the Catastrophe; she remembered him telling her about some of his findings. But what if he'd taken more than just a few samples?

The idea lit a spark of indignant anger in her. What right did he have to keep such a thing from her?

"It may be worth trying to repair things with him," Sousuke suggested. "At least, enough to find out whether it was him and what he did with it all."

Kaede's first instinct was that no, that was not a good idea. Urahara, in her mind, was far too observant and keen to be played like that. But was that true, or was that just a sentiment held over from when she used to trust him? Before the Academy - before Sousuke - she'd never been able to get anything past him. But had she even tried? There'd been no reason for her to do so back then. Yet more recent evidence suggested that she could pull wool over his eyes, at least where those Kido seals were concerned. Granted, that had to do in large part to Sousuke's Zanpakuto…

"I don't know," she finally said. "I mean…I haven't actually seen or spoken to him in years. At the checkups, he's always in the other room…he doesn't even bother taking me to or from them anymore."

She hated that some part of her was still bothered by that.

"You don't ever see him on Division Two's grounds?"

Her brow furrowed. "No…actually, I don't. You'd think we'd have run into each other, but…no."

It was true: After starting in the Stealth Corps, she'd anticipated seeing Urahara more often. She'd even planned to give him the cold shoulder when that happened, or ignore him entirely - but she'd never had to. Either that was a remarkable coincidence, or he was adamantly avoiding her.

"Look," she said. "It's all the more reason I shouldn't try finding him. If he's avoiding me, he'll just do it harder. And even if I did manage to pin him down, it's not like I can just ask him about this. He'd know something was up. I mean, the only reason we even know about this leftover energy is because we essentially committed treason a few times over."

Sousuke was quiet for a moment. Kaede's stomach started to knot up as she realized he might take her reluctance as cowardice again. Was that what it was? Was she just afraid to even talk to Urahara? No - she genuinely didn't think it was a good idea, and she had good reason to think so.

Right?

"You have a good point," he finally said, and she breathed an immediate sigh of relief. "Besides, if he did collect that energy under the radar, there isn't much he could do with it without attracting attention. Most likely, he's stored it in a secure location to observe if it would change or grow on its own. It's what I would do."

"If you're about to suggest that we try and steal it from him-"

He shook his head. "Not at all. After all, we don't have to - not when we can simply gather our own."

Kaede stiffened. "Meaning?"

"What you did with Tokinada…imagine if you had more to work with." Sousuke's tone was curious but purposeful, as if he were already thinking of the possibilities and planning on how to enact them. "It's been over two hundred years since the Catastrophe. If we're correct in assuming that someone - perhaps Urahara - stored that residual reishi, then it's had ample time to develop. But considering what you did with Tokinada, you could theoretically force that energy to undergo that same change in a fraction of the time. If we find a way to recreate what happened, even on a smaller scale, we would have a near-limitless source of power at our disposal."

Kaede shot up, making little waves in the water with her sudden movement. She fixed Sousuke with a hard stare. "We are not killing thousands of people to test a theory. Tokinada deserved what he got, but I am not doing - that."

"I don't think we'd need to," he replied calmly. "If your theory about the Hollows we've tried this with is correct, then we simply need to change our target group to Menos-class Hollows. If a Shinigami of Tokinada's caliber gave you that-" He nodded toward the other room, where the small bead of energy was securely stowed away. "-then Menos-class Hollows, already being a condensed collection of thousands of souls, should do the trick. Unless you've developed some sympathy for Gillians that I'm unaware of?"

Kaede rolled her eyes and sank back down to lean against his chest, relieved that at least he wasn't suggesting mass murder. "It's good you're so skilled at pretending, because you'd never have gotten this far if everyone in Soul Society knew you were so insufferable."

Sousuke let out a sound between a hum and a chuckle, wrapping his arms around her abdomen and pulling her a little closer to him as he did so. "You don't seem to mind."

"I've developed a tolerance. Repeated exposure does that." She sighed and settled back against him. "Kind of a shame we won't be able to compare whatever we get to whatever came from the Catastrophe, actually…I wonder if there's a noticeable difference between Hollows and Souls when they're so broken down…"

He grinned against her hair. "You almost sound excited to do this."

"Maybe I am, a little," she admitted with a small smile of her own. "It feels like we're finally making real progress."

Their plans were coming along even faster than she had anticipated. They'd managed to earn repeat access to the Tsunayashiro's archives, and she'd finally managed to grasp the secret to fully utilizing her raw power. In the process, she'd even secured Tousen Kaname, the first true ally to their cause.

As for the question of where her power came from…what did it matter, in the end? If recreating the Catastrophe with Hollows and gathering up the residual energy would take them even a single step further, she'd find a way to get it done - for Sousuke, for herself, and for everyone that Soul Society had ever failed.

"We can discuss the particulars after your demonstration tomorrow," Sousuke said. "You aren't still feeling anxious over that, are you?"

"Not at all," Kaede replied, and was satisfied to realize that it was completely true. After everything she'd accomplished today, she felt more than ready for anything Central 46 could throw at her. She hated having to pretend to still be under their control now more than ever, but she could deal with it. She and Sousuke were closer to their goals now than they'd ever been before, so it wouldn't be long until those high-and-mighty nobles and judges were the ones submitting to them.

"Good." Sousuke placed a kiss on her shoulder, and then shifted like he was going to stand. "We ought to start getting ready for bed."

Kaede turned around in the bath so she was fully facing him and grabbed his arm to stop him. "Not yet." She straddled his hips and wound her arms around his neck. Her voice was quiet but sultry when she leaned in to whisper into his ear. "I think your goddess could use a little bit more worship first." She gave the imprint of her teeth on his shoulder a few nips and kisses.

Sousuke gave her that devious, sexy smile that she loved so much and shifted his hands back to her hips, pushing the beginnings of his arousal against her. "Well, I do live to serve."

The Division Two training grounds were eerily quiet. Normally filled with the soft grunts and thuds of ninja at practice, today they'd been emptied out for a particular demonstration. At the head of the yard stood a panel of authorities from throughout the Seireitei: a handful of captains, including Yamamoto himself; a few judges from Central 46, sitting inside an ornate palanquin that shielded their identities; the heads of three noble clans, in addition to Yoruichi herself; and, of course, Kido Captain Tessai and Detention Unit Head Urahara.

Kaede stood alone in the center of the training yard, the focus of their collective, stony gazes. Not long ago, it would have taken everything she had to not tremble under those stares; now, she was perfectly steady, sure of what she was about to do. She wasn't surprised to see that her Shikai demonstration had drawn such a crowd; all of these people viewed her as a weapon first and foremost, so it was only natural that they'd want to see exactly what said weapon was capable of.

The small screened window of the palanquin slid open, and an attendant leaned in to hear the judges' instructions. "Commence the demonstration."

Kaede bowed low to the panel and turned around. At the far end of the yard, three practice dummies were set up at uneven intervals. She gripped the hilt of her sword and whispered the command.

"Wither, Mono no Aware."

The blade rang free of the scabbard in a single strike, returning barely a second later. Across the yard, hay and sand burst from deep cuts in two of the dummies; the third was neatly bisected, the upper half sliding to the ground with a dull thud.

Exactly as she'd intended. Now it would seem like she was still new to this power.

Kaede turned back to the panel and dropped to her knees. Before touching her forehead to the ground in supplication, she saw some widened eyes and raised brows. She didn't try to explain herself; she knew the drill all too well: they'd ask, she'd answer, and she'd show them the deference they so craved.

"How long has it been since you awakened your Zanpakuto?" the attendant called out.

"About two years, Honored Judges." The lie fell easily from her lips. "After many failed attempts at jinzen. I only achieved Shikai a little over a year ago."

"And why did you not come forward sooner?"

Kaede hesitated, letting a bit of apprehension color her tone. "I…I was afraid. I had to make sure I wouldn't accidentally hurt or kill anyone, so I practiced on my own. Even my husband didn't know."

"Yet you chose to use it during a mission where lives were at stake."

"I used it because lives were at stake," she insisted. "It was the only way I could think of to save my partner's life while also preserving the mission."

Silence ensued as the judges deliberated inside the palanquin. Kaede braced herself for whatever ludicrous argument they would come up with next.

The blank-faced attendant addressed her a few minutes later. "Sorano Kaede. By the authority of Central 46 as bestowed by the divinity of the Soul King, you are hereby forbidden from developing your Shikai any further. Any attempt to do so -"

"Now, hold on a minute."

Kaede's eyes widened at the sound of her captain's voice. Yoruichi may have been a division leader and a clan head, but no one cut off a judge like that. It simply wasn't done.

"Forgive my intrusion, Honored Judges," Yoruichi said, bowing respectfully in their direction, "but I think there are a few other considerations to be had here. The fact that Kaede achieved Shikai at all, given her restrictions, says a lot about her potential; she may be one of the strongest assets Soul Society has had in centuries. Why stunt her growth?"

The judges made no move to answer. Kaede inwardly smirked; it wasn't that they didn't have a reply, it was that they couldn't admit to the truth, not so publicly. They were afraid of her, of what she could become if allowed to flourish. However, to say such a thing would be tantamount to saying the Soul King himself was afraid of her, and that was completely unacceptable.

"As for coming forward about it," Yoruichi continued. "Yes, she should have come forward sooner, but many Shinigami develop their abilities in secret. If anything, she was just following convention. Unless she was given orders I'm unaware of regarding her Zanpakuto?"

Again, Kaede found herself admiring Yoruichi. Not only had she offered a perfectly sensical explanation, she'd just openly challenged the judges to admit that they never intended for Kaede to get this far.

This time, it was Unohana who raised a hand and spoke up in her gentle yet authoritative tone. "I believe Tessai-taicho, Urahara-san, and I can all confirm that no such orders were ever stated to Sorano-san."

Kaede blinked in surprise. Yoruichi defending her like this…she could write that off as her captain being pragmatic. To hear Unohana speak for her as well…it reminded Kaede of how fair the older woman had always been toward her. She'd never treated Kaede as a monster or a weapon.

She's a medic, Kaede told herself. She's trained to treat all patients equally. It's not personal.

Still, though…not all of the authorities in Soul Society were inherently awful. Heck, if Kaede had learned anything from Mono no Aware, it was that no one was "inherently" anything, including herself. Perhaps…perhaps she and Sousuke could even find more allies among the Gotei 13 than they'd expected.

She wasn't about to jump up and tell Yoruichi, or any of the others, the truth, though. Not yet.

"If I may, Honored Judges." This time, it was Tessai who spoke. "There is naturally some concern over whether Sorano-san will lose control of her power. However, I can confirm that the Kido bindings have remained strong, and her reiatsu has been completely stable for decades. There have been no incidents since she was a young child. In my opinion, there is no reason for concern if she were to continue developing her abilities under the watchful eye of a mentor." He nodded to Yoruichi as he finished.

Kaede's heart reached out in gratitude to Tessai, though she wondered if his attitude would be different had he known the truth. Perhaps it was only the illusion of security that made him stand up for her like this.

Her eyes flicked up from the ground to the one person who should have had plenty to add, and yet had been silent the whole time. Urahara stood still as a statue, looking deep in thought. That, more than anything else in this whole proceeding, sent goosebumps crawling up her skin. Of all the people who'd been in charge of her over the years, he was the one she was most apprehensive of. Urahara didn't just know her Kido seals; he knew her, or at least, knew the old Kaede. Even with Kanzen Saimin tricking his senses, if anyone was going to spot the lie in all of this…

Come on, she found herself silently urging. Say something - anything!

Instead, it was Yoruichi's voice she heard again. "I'll oversee all her training myself in the First Militia. If anything seems amiss, it'll be reported promptly to the Kido team in charge of her seals."

Kaede held her breath as the judges deliberated in the safety of their palanquin. After what felt like an eternity, the small window slid open and the attendant leaned over to hear their decision.

Oh, how she couldn't wait to be rid of those pompous fools.

"Sorano Kaede," the attendant called out. "You are hereby remitted to the command of Shihoin Yoruichi, Captain of Division Two, Commander of the Stealth Corps. All future development will take place under her supervision. Any signs of disobedience regarding this decree will not be tolerated!"

Kaede touched her forehead to the ground once more. "Thank you, Honored Judges," she said, the words like honeyed poison on her tongue.

She remained kneeling as the judges, clan heads, and captains dispersed, a picture of gracious servitude. Once they'd left, Kaede glanced up.

Urahara, too, was gone. There would be no attempting to speak to him today, something Kaede was relieved about. Yoruichi, however, was someone she should make an effort to speak with.

"Yoruichi-taicho," she called, darting after the captain. In the shaded hall of the main building, Yoruichi stopped with her back to her. "Thank you-"

"Why didn't you tell me the moment you achieved Shikai, Kaede?" A stark contrast from her usual, easy-going nature, Yoruichi's voice was tight with anger and disappointment.

Kaede blinked, falling back a step. "I told you, I wanted to be sure I could control it-"

"Bullshit!" Yoruichi declared, whirling on her. "You know what kind of pressure you're under as well as I do. You're lucky they decided to make this a semi-public event, because if it had been done behind closed doors, they could've decreed anything and no one, not even I, could have spoken for you. I am very much aware that Central has wanted you held back for as long as possible, but let me let you in on a little secret: I honestly don't give a shit about what those old farts want."

Kaede blanched in surprise. This had to be the first time anyone other than Sousuke had openly acknowledged that Central was holding her back - well, at least, so frankly admitted to it. What she hadn't expected was Yoruichi - captain of Division Two, commander of the Stealth Corps, head of the great Shihoin clan - to express such blatant disregard for the decisions of Soul Society's governors, even after the display outside.

And…was it her imagination, or did Yoruichi seem worried about her?

"I - I didn't know how they'd react," she stammered. "I didn't mean…I wasn't sure if I'd be able to…"

Yoruichi sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I meant what I said: you could be one of the greatest assets to come out of Soul Society in centuries. Even if Central doesn't see it that way, I do. And if you'd have come to me with your Shikai sooner, we could have come up with a safe way for you to practice it and you'd be much, much further along with it by now!"

There it was. She wasn't worried for Kaede's wellbeing so much as for what she could be used for.

Yoruichi crossed her arms and looked Kaede directly in the eye. "There are two things I hate seeing wasted: my time, and people's lives. You've been doing both by holding yourself back all this time. From this moment on, I expect you to give me everything you've got. Is that understood?"

Kaede bowed her head, keeping her tone and expression as neutral as she could. "Understood, taicho. And…thank you."

She mentally tacked on the condition that when, where, and how she used her full powers would be entirely up to her, orders from anyone be damned.

"Don't thank me. Just meet me in the training grounds an hour before sunrise, and make sure you bring your sword."

That night, some time after Sousuke fell asleep, Kaede crept out of bed and took her Zanpakuto to the other room. Sitting cross-legged, she laid the sword in her lap and focused on her breathing, gradually dropping into the meditative state of jinzen.

Her inner world hadn't changed. Mono no Aware remained under the same weeping sakura tree, wearing the same neutral expression. But there was one new thing, Kaede realized: a mark on the spirit's face that hadn't been there before. A scar?

"It's been some time, Kaede."

"Certainly feels like it," Kaede replied. Another thing that had changed, she noticed then, was that this time, her sword sat at her hip. Usually, it lay in the spirit's lap, or didn't appear at all.

"I understand now," she said, looking around at the gently falling petals. "What you were trying to tell me before. Things change; that's their nature, and it's as true for people as it is objects."

She caught a petal in her hand. For a second, it remained silky-soft, tickling her palm - but then, under her gaze, it shriveled up, turning yellow and dry.

As it should.

"Second Truth," she uttered, gripping the hilt of her sword. "All is Transient."

Transience, impermanence - all things changed. No state lasted forever. Flowers withered and died; people grew and aged. All things passed to make way for a new state of being, and so on, and so on.

Her blade struck through the weeping sakura just above the spirit's head, and for an instant, she saw everything that tree had ever been and ever would be: from a seed to a sapling, roots crawling deep down as above, branches spread out in equal measure. The bud of the first blossom, coaxed into being by sun and warmth and the imperative to create more of itself - the sigh of that same blossom when its time was up, its energy spent, its purpose fulfilled.

It was time for that tree to die and make way for something new.

The edge of her blade sliced through the trunk - but rather than be cut, the tree remained. The delicate blossoms, however, did not. They withered, losing their ethereal beauty and falling from the branches in a curtain.

"This place shouldn't be the same," Kaede stated, watching the fallen flowers rotting at her feet. "Because I am not the same. I'm not the person I was at the hanami, or anytime before that."

She pointed her blade directly at the spirit.

"That means you shouldn't be the same, either."

There was a sound when the sword's tip touched Mono no Aware's opalescent forehead, a sound like tapping on porcelain or glass.

And then, for the first time since Kaede had found this place inside herself, the spirit moved.

Its arm rose from its lap, revealing a bone-white hand with long, sharp nails like claws. The hand grasped the blade and guided it to the strange new mark on its face, pulling until that the tip penetrated what should have been flesh. It was then that Kaede realized what that strange mark had been: not a scar.

A crack.

A piece chipped away, then another, and another - and with a deep chill, Kaede realized what the face was actually made of.

Bone. Mono no Aware's face wasn't an actual face; it was a bone mask.

"What are you?" she whispered as more pieces fell away.

"I am many things," said the thing she'd been calling her Zanpakuto. "I am nothing."

Kaede took a staggered step back, her grip tightening on the hilt of her sword. The bone mask continued to chip away, yet never fully revealed what was beneath; it was as though for every piece that fell, a new one formed, only to crack and fall away and continue the cycle. The…thing stared straight back at her now, its gaze at once steady and piercing. She felt like it was looking through her, seeing things about herself that even she didn't acknowledge - things she once would have tried to hide from.

But not anymore. Kaede swallowed her shock and her fear and held the thing's unnerving gaze. She wasn't running anymore - not from her power, not from change, and not from herself.

"Hello, Kaede," said the spirit in a voice both familiar and bone-shatteringly new. "It is good to see you."

"Hello," Kaede responded, her own voice steady. "Mono no Aware."

At her feet, a new bud emerged from the rot and decay.

Ending notes

Yes, in Chapter 18, I called Second Truth "All is Impermanent." Wound up changing my mind to "Transient" because it sounds cooler. Still the same idea.

Next Time: Now sure of her power, Kaede uses it to create something new…with unexpected consequences.

Let me know what you think! And as always…

Stay Tuned!