The thick, rippling grass of the Hogwarts grounds was dappled with late afternoon sunlight filtered through fat, cumulus clouds that floated lazily across the sky. The vibrant golds, rust, and deep evergreens of the forest trees that painted the mountains that stood behind the Quidditch pitch were a sight Hermione never grew tired of seeing, no matter how often she had trekked its path. The crisp air felt refreshing with its autumnal scents. Combined with the flannel shirt Hermione stole from Peter during Herbology, and the warm fluffy boots she got when visiting Diagon Alley earlier with McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey, she felt that peculiar coziness that makes the heart feel warm, full and dreamy.
Or at least that's how she would have been feeling if not for the dour mood that radiated out of Sirius, who was trudging along beside her. He had been awfully quiet since they left Dumbledore's office a few minutes earlier and his eyebrows were pinched in the middle. His cute little pout sort of made up for ruining the beautiful atmosphere, though she wouldn't tell him that.
"Are you going to be like this every time you see my memories?" she finally asked. "Because I'm sure Afify isn't going to be pleased if you're distracted at practice tonight. Especially not with the match being tomorrow." She curled a hand into the crook of his elbow and poked his polished leather pauldron with her other hand and looked up at him expectantly. She wasn't going to let him continue moping.
He looked down at her, his expression relaxing as he let his eyes wander over her face. She started to wonder what he saw when he looked at her like that. Wondered what he thought about and felt; what he was searching for. Older Sirius would sometimes look at her that way too. It made her chest feel swollen, and oddly self-conscious but not necessarily in a bad way. It almost made her feel pretty. A sensation she only attributed to spending time with him and that time at the Yule Ball.
"How else am I supposed to be after seeing all of that?" he grumbled and crossed his arms, trapping her hand and pulling her a step closer to him. "How could Dumbledore think of hiding such a valuable item here? One that someone even risked breaking into Gringotts for! And then to just tell a bunch of students not to go on to the 3rd floor, with no explanation? It was like he was laying out bait!"
"Well, probably because he was…" Hermione said, trailing off and looking down at the grass. "You've read my journal, Sirius. You can see what it took me nearly seven years to put together. Seeing the memories is no new revelation."
They crossed the gate threshold and stood in the shadow of the arch. She watched him expectantly, as he let go of her hand and turned to look down at her. His face was half shadowed, half illuminated from the afternoon sun streaming in from the field side of the gateway.
"I know. I just hate it," he groused with a deep sigh.
"If you hate it so much, you should just let Dumbledore watch them alone," she suggested, hopefully. It was no good, she knew, but she desperately wanted to protect his heart from seeing some of those memories. Seeing Harry– the godson who wasn't even a thought in the minds of his parents– had affected Sirius more than he would tell her at the moment. And seeing her be bullied and attacked by a troll, among all the other things that had happened that school year, was troubling for him to see; but she knew it was comparatively tame compared to the following years. If he was this disaffected from her first year, how would he handle the rest? This Sirius was as soft hearted as her Sirius. But where his older version had lost his naivete, this one still had parts of him that hadn't been trampled on yet.
"Hey. You know I can't do that," he said, reaching for her cheek, but stopping short and letting his hand fall. She didn't quite know how to read that. He had never been shy about touching her. Physical intimacy came naturally to Sirius and, if she hadn't experienced it from his older counterpart, she would have assumed he meant something deeper by the affection he showed her. Though, there had been that moment in the bookstore. That instant when she had thought for a second that he'd truly kiss her. But that made her point for her didn't it? He hadn't. "Since you came back, we've been in this together. I'm not going to let you go through it all on your own just to keep myself from discomfort."
A spark of humor lit his face after a moment, transforming his features and lifting the mood around them. "I have to admit, you were a cute first year. Especially with those teeth."
A blush filled her cheeks and neck. She punched his shoulder with her free hand in embarrassment, even as warmth filled her stomach to match the color on her face. She might want to spare him all the misery of the future, but his stalwart support and presence had been the only thing that kept her upright most days. She could keep getting up in the mornings and find things to smile about because she wasn't alone in all of this. Her grief, her trauma, her longing for familiar faces, were all bearable because Sirius volunteered to share the weight of her burden.
"I need to get going," he said, his gaze lingering on her as he turned towards the broom shed where a few other students milled around retrieving their broomsticks. He sent her a smile before becoming engrossed in his prep work.
Hermione turned and huffed her way up the stairs to the stands. She put the memories and heavy emotions away by contemplating how she should spend a little more time hiking around the grounds to get strength back in her legs.
Remus was already seated with a small stack of books and homework next to him on the bench. His dark blue hoodie sagged behind him, two orange ears poking up from the makeshift sack.
Crookshanks had apparently found a comfortable hammock to nap in. Hermione laughed at the sight, which had Remus looking up from his sketchbook with amused eyes. He shushed her and pointed to the bulge in his front pocket where a tiny little tail stuck out.
"Did you become a kitty hotel?" she teased in a whisper, tucking herself into the spot next to him, the books in between them. She reached over and grazed the edge of Crookshanks' ear. It flicked as though to dislodge an irritating fly. He pawed at it but stayed asleep.
"There are worse fates to bear," Remus chuckled, patting the hidden bundle against his stomach. "Are you still working on a name?" he asked for the umpteenth time since the previous weekend. The boy's had had a keen investment on what she was going to name the black kitten and had been suggesting all sorts of absurd names.
"I have narrowed it down. I think I'll have it settled today."
"Have what settled?" asked a vibrant voice.
Hermione tilted her head around Remus to see who had interjected and noticed Alice and Lily standing on the stairs.
It had been almost a full week since the fallout between Marlene and Lily and, despite the fact that they all shared classes, it didn't seem like there had been much reconciliation between them. The other girls in their Gryffindor class seemed to be attempting to stay neutral by taking turns accompanying the feuding sixth years.
Alice beamed at them and seemed unfazed by the awkwardness of her friend, who loitered behind her looking uncomfortable. She was bolder than Hermione would have assumed. More vibrant. The short dark hair and bright eyes were a far cry from the wispy gray hairs and dull confused looks of the older woman she had met in 1995.
"Ah," started Remus. He cleared his throat of surprise at the sudden intrusion. "We were just discussing what Hermione was thinking of naming her familiar."
Alice had already gotten closer to them, as if drawn with magnetic force to the sleeping babies. She hovered over Remus' hood with her hands clasped to her chest in an obvious attempt to restrain herself from waking the sleeping kitten. Crookshanks' ears flicked as he sensed her approach.
Lily sank down onto the bench a couple feet away and watched them from the corner of her eye in a poor attempt at disinterest. Hermione had come to realize that Lily wasn't as socially graceful as she appeared. Perhaps it was simply because she had held the boys at arm's length for so long that she had no idea how to bridge the gap she had created. Or maybe it was Hermione's own refusal of friendship on the basis of that gap that had her uncomfortable. Either way, Hermione didn't see a need to extend an olive branch just yet. Lily needed to learn how to adapt her expectations and opinions of others on her own. If she wanted to engage and be friendly with them, it would have to start with her.
"I'm sure it's going to be Godric," Remus said as he side-eyed her with a grin.
Hermione flicked his knee, which resulted in an abbreviated yelp and his leg kicking out.
"I'm not naming him Godric!" She huffed, sticking her nose in the air. Sirius, James, and Peter had been suggesting increasingly ridiculous names all week, and Remus had been egging them on. Godric had been one of their favorites, using it as an excuse to shout expletives in the hallways. No matter how many terrifying encounters Hermione had with Death Eaters and other dangers, Professor McGonagall's withering stare still made her insides twist.
"What? But it's such a noble and historic name." He laughed as she ignored him. "What about Marauder? He does like trying to steal my eggs in the morning."
"My cat is not going to be your little gang's mascot," Hermione deadpanned.
"Are you sure you have a choice in that?" Alice interjected with a mirthful expression. She did an embellished wave like she was presenting Remus as a brand new museum piece to a tour group.
Hermione let herself glance back at Remus and took in the sagging, kitty laden sweater and giggled again at how silly he looked. Crookshanks' had readjusted himself so that his nose was next to Remus' ear. Given by the involuntary flexing of his thigh and the strained look on his face while he attempted to hold himself together, the cat's whiskers must have been tickling him to no end.
She took pity on him and retrieved the fluffball and tucked him up against her in some of the extra fabric around the hem of her borrowed shirt. Crookshanks started purring immediately, nuzzling in closer to her. Hermione would never take for granted the gift of having her friend back with her.
"Probably not." She conceded. "But I can at least give him a name that isn't influenced by your weird band of misfits." She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Don't try and act like you're not one of us," he rebutted and stuck his own tongue out to return the taunt.
Though it was only playful teasing, Hermione felt an increasingly familiar stinging warmth that built up in her chest. The indubitable affection and easy acceptance she had found among them was somewhat overwhelming but in the best possible way. She had never known such an irrefutable welcome by anyone other than her own parents. The boys spoke to her as though it was obvious that she was one of them. That it was only natural they adopt her into their group and keep her safe and loved. Even with Harry and Ron, she had had to earn their friendship. She had to fight through animosity and misunderstandings driven by the false confidence she had used to mask her fear of entering an unknown world. Fighting mountain trolls and three headed dogs, that is how she was used to making friends.
It was different from the hard-won loyalty and trust of her old friends, but she discovered that it was just as precious. It made it difficult to keep herself alert, to doubt and scrutinize where she wanted to lay down and rest in trust. Somehow knowing it all could – would – fall apart if she wasn't vigilant didn't make it any easier to keep her guard up. It left her feeling conflicted. To doubt seemed like a betrayal to her new friends, but to passively trust would be a betrayal to Harry and his future.
Alice laughed at their squabbling. "Where's Peter at?" She asked as she sat down on the bench a step down from them.
"Tutoring," Remus answered. "He should be done soon. He's supposed to meet us here when he's finished."
"Ah, right. I forget that he does that." Alice nodded. "He's too nice. If it were me, I don't think I could stomach tutoring those Slytherin kids." She reached up to pet a tiny patch of orange fur that was still exposed to the air. Crookshanks let out a petulant whine and burrowed closer to Hermione.
By the pinched line between her eyebrows, what Alice had said seemed to have bothered Lily. She shifted in her seat and fiddled with the buttons on her jacket.
"You can't lump all of them up in the same category." Lily spoke up for the first time. Her indignation was firm in her voice. "I'm sure Peter thinks the same."
"More than half of their parents are Blood Purists, Lily." Alice argued, looking back at her friend. It sounded like a well rehearsed argument.
"But that doesn't make them Blood Purists themselves." Lily vollied back.
"No, it doesn't." Hermione agreed, glancing down at the shorn grass of the pitch below. James and Sirius were running laps around the edge of the field. They seemed to be laughing about something. "But, when you consider the households most of them go home to, and the sorts of cliques that are formed in their house, even if they themselves aren't, there is very little they can say or do that doesn't put a target on their own back." She returned her eyes to Lily, who was worrying her lip now. "Blood traitors are in as much danger as we are. I can't fault them for wanting to protect themselves, but it makes it difficult for us to put our trust in any of them."
"So, we should be as bigoted as they are, is what you're saying?"
"Not at all." Hermione wrinkled her nose in disgust at the idea. "But we're actively under attack. Not every German was a Nazi. And not every Nazi was one because they wanted to be. But if you were a Jew in the 1940's would you casually associate with Germans? Or if you were an Armenian, would you trust your safety to a group of Turks? Can you really implicitly trust the pureblood Slytherins right now with no caution at all?"
"But this is school! Not a war zone. Hogwarts is the safest place in the world."
Hermione almost laughed.
She used to be that naive once. There had been blind faith that she'd be safe within the castle grounds. That belief had lasted less than a year. Nothing about the wizarding world was safe. Magic was as much a weapon as it was a tool to make life easier.
"Yeah, from outside forces, maybe." Remus answered what Hermione was thinking. But the look in his eye seemed to indicate a line of thought that was self depreciating.
As much as she wanted to vehemently dismiss that line of thinking, she knew she couldn't. Both because she wasn't supposed to know about his furry half, and because logically she couldn't fully disagree. At this time, there was no wolfsbane potion to keep him docile and she had seen what a full fledged werewolf was capable of on more than one occasion. She would never advocate his exclusion from society, or hold his affliction against him in any way, but she couldn't deny that there was an inherent risk that came with allowing a werewolf on the campus.
"You're a muggleborn too, Hermione?" Alice asked. She looked up and caught Hermione's eyes.
Hermione was struck by how even more similar Alice was to her future son, Neville. They had the same round face and rosy cheeks. Except where Neville displayed meekness, Alice seemed to take the bull by the horns.
"All my life." Hermione answered with a sardonic tilt of her mouth.
"Oh! Me too." Lily said in surprise. Something shifted in her face making her seem more comfortable and eager. Then, there was a sudden comprehension that shone in her demeanor and her next words came out more hesitant and regretful. "Is that how you ended up here? With all your injuries?"
Hermione's throat dried up and her chest clamped down like someone had gripped her heart with two hands. Her first altercation with Marlene came back to her, and the lie that she had to tout to conceal her true origins. It wasn't like the truth was any less gruesome; but it felt disgraceful to her parents, to the people she left behind, and to the people here that she knew would sacrifice themselves for the future of the Wizarding world. But Hermione had no choice. She detested her cover story, and wished she had never lost her temper back then and used it to lash out at Lily and Marlene. Even if it was more suspicious, she wished she had kept quiet and remained the transfer student mired in mystery.
"Yes." She said, deciding to keep her answers perfunctory as not to encourage more questions she'd have to answer. Especially with Remus sitting right next to her. If she hated lying to those who were antagonistic to her, the idea of purposefully deceiving those who had accepted her with open arms was wretched beyond belief.
Thankfully Remus seemed to understand her sudden reticence and changed the topic, cutting off Lily who had opened her mouth to say something else.
"How's Frank, Alice?" He asked.
Alice caught on to his pretense and followed along, clearly not wanting to continue down a line of conversation charged with that much tension anymore than Hermione did.
"He's great! In his last letter he said his mentor at the ministry gave him a good review to their superintendent." She said enthusiastically. Hermione could practically see the stars aligning in her eyes as she spoke. "Oh! Frank is my boyfriend." She said to Hermione when she realized that she wouldn't know who Frank was. "He graduated last term and went on to train to be an a
auror!"
"That's great to hear, Alice. I know we were all a little bit worried about him. He's always been so soft-hearted." Lily said encouragingly, perking up at the new topic.
"Yeah, it wouldn't be good if he let go of every thief he encountered because they gave him some sob story." Remus added with a laugh. "How is your mother-in-law handling it?" He asked with a cheeky smirk that grew into a cheshire grin when Alice squeaked and flailed her arms.
"She's not my mother-in-law!" She sputtered out, affronted.
"Yet." Lily added with a giggle. She covered her laugh with her hand when Alice whipped a glare at her.
"Augusta is hard on Frank." Alice said with an added air of indifference to her friend's jibes. She crossed her legs and tilted her chin up, poorly masking her embarrassment with bravado. "She wanted something more prestigious for her only son."
"You call Mrs. Longbottom, Augusta?" Lily asked with raised eyebrows.
Alice coughed and cleared her throat. "Well…maybe not to her face."
Hermione felt herself slowly relax as she let the easy banter take over the previously tense atmosphere. Whatever lies she would have to tell, could wait at least a little while longer.
Crookshanks, sensing his witch's mood, nuzzled deeper against her stomach. Her attention drawn to the ball of orange fur, Hermione scratched behind his ears, eliciting deep purrs from the kitten.
A loud whistle was sounded from down on the Quidditch pitch, which made them pause and look down at the team below. The players were all gathering around the communal water pitcher. A few touched down from their brooms chatting about the drills they were running, while others got up from the ground where they were going through what looked like strength exercises. James and Sirius looked to have been in the middle of some sort of weird game of catch, where they threw what seemed to be weighted balls at each other.
Sirius looked up as he took a long draw of water and caught her eye. He smiled broadly when he caught her eye and waved with his free hand. He nudged James, who was talking to another chaser in the ribs, and gestured to them up in the stands. James' face lit up and Hermione waved back at them feeling her own smile stretching across her cheeks.
They borrowed brooms from two chasers that were chatting next to them and kicked off the ground. The other's stopped talking and watched the two zoom up to the stands and gracefully land on the stands by them.
"Hey, Lily." James greeted as he raked his hand back over his already tousled hair, making him look a little bit like a kid who stuck a fork in an outlet.
"Oi! What are we? Chopped liver?" Remus asked facetiously. James just waved him off without taking his attention away from the object of his affections, who had her arms crossed and was pointedly looking anywhere but at James.
"You brought my kids!" Sirius exclaimed as he scooped the black kitten up from where he was squirming out of Remus' pocket.
"Your kids?" Hermione asked archly with a quirked eyebrow.
"Fine. Fine. Our kids." He corrected as he nuzzled his nose against the kitten's.
Alice let out a choking sound that was clearly a failed attempt at concealing a laugh. Hermione suddenly felt very hot around the collar. Meanwhile Sirius seemed to go on as if he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.
"Are Marauder and Crookshanks behaving for Uncle Moony?" He asked the kitten with a baby voice.
"His name isn't Marauder!" Hermione groaned with a slap to her forehead.
"Why not? Since you seem reluctant to name him…" Sirius rebutted as he played keep away with his fingers.
"She's not a fan of Godric, either. She doesn't like any of our names." Remus added.
"Come on, Hermione. We got to call him something." Sirius whined and gave her puppy eyes.
"Didn't you say you had it narrowed down? Why don't you decide now?" Asked Alice eagerly.
"Really?! Yeah, Hermione. Give him a name!"
Hermione looked at the kitten in Sirius' hands, who seemed to have just as much anticipation as the boy holding him. To be honest, she had already decided on a name, but despite everything she said about not letting the kitten be the mischievous gang's mascot, she couldn't help but pick a name that reminded her of the young man and his older counterpart that had been a steadfast friend to her.
She cleared her throat.
"Grimalkin." She finally said. "After the cat in MacBeth." Not a total lie, but a lot less embarrassing than the total truth.
She ignored Remus, who turned around to hide his face, and James who was openly shooting suggestive looks at Sirius. They caught the reference, even if they didn't realize it was intentional on her part. It made her want to crawl into a hole and die, cooked to death by an oven heated by her own flushed skin.
Whenever there was a Quidditch match, it felt like the population of the school grew three times its normal size. Of course, Hermione knew that it was because it was one of the few times that the whole student body was congregated together without the assembly of the faculty to dispense with announcements. Which made for a rowdy affair. Breakfast included. Sirius and James, already in scarlet and gold uniforms, stood on the Gryffindor table and loudly led their house– and anyone who was rooting for them– in a rally song.
"Roar! Lion's roar!
We chew up the snakes 'cause they're a bore
Rah! Rah! Gryffindor!"
Everyone stomped at the end, and laughed as they hoisted Afify up out of the crowd to join them for the next verse. The Quidditch captain's laughing protestations did nothing to save him from the duo locking arms with him and performing the can-can as they sang.
Hermione couldn't help being swept up in the energy and sang along, grinning madly at the boy's as they hyped up their audience. She might not have been much of a Quidditch fan, but she loved seeing her friends happy.
Across the Great Hall, the Slytherin table ignored the rest of the student body and kept their haughty noses in the air. They would occasionally sneak a glance at them and sneer down their beaks at them, but no one paid them any mind. Their pretense of superiority was disregarded.
A loud bang came from the head table and the hall went silent as heads turned to look. Dumbledore stood in the center of the dais with his periwinkle eyes twinkling with delight.
"It is time for us to head down to the stadium. Wish your team good luck, and may the best team win!"
Hoots of excitement cried out as people began to file out of the room.
"Time to wish them luck!" Remus said, as he shared a very suspicious look with Peter. He sent a grin and a wink in Hermione's direction as they walked past her.
Sirius and James hopped down from the table, unaware that they were being surrounded by their other five teammates as Remus and Peter made a beeline toward them. Like there had been a countdown, the five Quidditch players pounced and wrangled the two boys' arms behind their backs.
Sirius and James let out twin yelps of surprise, their eyes growing round when they noticed their friends marching towards them like they were on a warpath.
"No, no, no!" James said as he shook his head vigorously. "You promised you wouldn't do it this year!"
Sirius didn't initially say anything, but focused his efforts on struggling against his captors. He kicked out his legs and thrashed around until someone cast an immobilizing jinx on his legs. Which made him topple and left him being held up by a tall blond boy, and a stocky brunette girl Hermione hadn't yet met.
"Don't you dare, Pete." He barked and glared mutinously.
Peter didn't even hesitate as he and Remus marched up to their two bound up best friends and– in perfect synchronicity– grabbed their faces and planted loud smacking kisses right on their lips. Sirius barely had time to screw his eyes and mouth shut before the smooch.
Hermione's confusion gave way to shock as she watched. Cheers had erupted from the crowd of Gryffindors that had stayed behind to watch the strange ritual. The twin, utterly disgusted looks that were exposed when Peter and Remus stepped away had her in a fit of uncontrollable giggles that made her slap her hands to cover her mouth.
"Hey, Hermione." Peter called back to her. "Come and wish the boys good luck, too."
Heat rushed to her cheeks at the implication of his invitation, but Hermione went over to them anyway. Sirius's bolshie glare had intensified, and drilled into the side of Peter's face as his own ears gradually grew redder. Peter happily ignored him.
She first pecked James on the cheek, who grinned at her good naturedly before calling over her head.
"Oi! Evans. Want to wish me luck, too?"
Hermione couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped her as she heard Lily's response from across the room.
"If you don't win, Potter, I'll make you wish he added tongue!"
After ducking around Peter, Hermione stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Sirius's cheek while also subtly tapping his leg with the tip of her wand, releasing the immobilizing spell on his legs.
"Good luck out there." She smiled up at him.
He looked down at her with bright eyes and pink cheeks.
"Alright team! Let's get out there." Ordered Afify. He grabbed Sirius' arm and dragged him away. "Make sure you pull your hair up, Black. I don't want anyone getting hit with a bludger because you can't see properly."
Edited with the help of StarryAppa on AO3