Dania knew that it was going to be bad when Mr. Evans came back with his daughter. She prepared herself, gathered her strength and hunkered down in her spot at the table.

All she had to do was make it through an hour, probably even less than that, of mindless conversations, holiday feasting, and a family reunion that she shouldn't be a part of. After that she could slink away back up to her room and sleep the rest of the night away in a food induced coma.

Simple enough.

Lily's arrival was marked with laughter and vivid conversations that blended together like a pile of crayons that melted in the sun. But the sound of what Dania assumed was Lily's voice carried through the house loudly and clearly like nails being scraped across a chalkboard.

Dania gritted her teeth and forced herself to power through the insipid pain in her ears that wormed straight into her brain creating a massive pressure that weighed heavy on her.

There was a voice in the back of Dania head telling her that she should get out. That she should just get up and leave. Save everyone the trouble. And maybe save herself all of the struggle.

But Dania didn't get up, didn't flee. She was determined to sit there and make it through the dinner if it killed her. The least she could do was to present herself as a somewhat normal human being. Just so that she could keep any negative attention off of her.

And for what it's worth, her resolve lasted far longer than expected. Dania made it a whole fifteen minutes before she gave in.

The second Lily Evans crossed the threshold between the kitchen and the dining room, Dania was hanging onto consciousness by a literal thread. But she could feel Lily's presence.

Just there, hovering at the edge of her personal space.

Suddenly, every sound around Dania that had been banging in her head faded into a mute hum, and the sound of her pounding heart overtook everything else. Her tunnel vision returned at full force, narrowing her field of view until the only thing that she could see was the filtered view of a tiny chip at the edge of her plate through her sunglasses.

Dania did not look up when Lily took a step toward her.

She did not look up when Lily carefully putting down whatever it was that she was carrying

She did not look up when Lily took a seat beside her.

And Dania most certainly did not look up when Lily began to speak.

Something exploded inside Dania, sending ash and soot throughout herself, clouding her body and mind. There was a dull numbness that encompassed her entire body and every single turbulent emotion that she felt leading up to this moment.

It felt like she was back in the murky haze of nothingness that she remembered before waking up in this strange new universe. Another reminder that she did not belong here. She should get out.

And Dania was floating.

Disconnected from her thoughts, her feelings, her memories, her surroundings, and time itself. She felt the nothingness. She breathed the nothingness. She smelled the nothingness. She tasted the nothingness. She was the nothingness.

Dania could vaguely recall from what seemed like a lifetime ago, her roommate Genevieve listing off some of the symptoms of her dissociative disorder. Dania thought that it might be relevant to her current situation, she couldn't tell why exactly. Her thought process was slipping through the cracks of her mind and she couldn't remember what was going on.

What had she been doing just now?

Dania didn't belong.

So why was she here?

She should get out.

Dania felt her mouth move, twisting her tongue around to form words in her second language, but all that came out was static.

More people came. Mrs. Evans from the kitchen, Mr. Evans from the living room followed by a stranger with messy black hair and impeccably clean glasses. Dania couldn't see them through the veil of white clouds blocking her vision, but they were there. She knew it as instinctively as she knew how to breathe.

She didn't belong.

She should get out.

They sat around the table, and their conversations sounded like silver bells chiming in a gentle winter wind

She didn't belong.

She should get out.

Plates were passed, food was served, and the bells rang faster.

She didn't belong.

Get out.

Someone was talking to her. Dania didn't know what they were saying but she tried to at least make an acknowledging noise.

She said something. Hands slammed down against the table, and someone started crying.

You don't belong.

Get out.

She didn't wait. She made a break for the stairs.

Lily didn't expect things to be easy going into this family reunion, but she didn't think it would get so messy and complicated right from the get go and just go straight to hell.

The first thing out of Petunia's mouth was:

"Did you bring home another frog's nest on your head or do you just not know how to brush?"

Lily was completely taken off guard when her sister that had spent her entire life in England suddenly acquired the strangest combination of a Scandinavian and American accent.

She thought their parents had been joking when they said Petunia gained a new accent and knowledge of a completely random language. That just didn't happen to Muggles, or to Wizards for that matter. Maybe if there was a potion mishap but only under highly specific circumstances that Lily doubted that her magic-hating sister would ever find herself in.

Lily was so taken aback, she apologized on reflex.

Petunia tipped her head back and stuck her chin in the air. "Do I look like I'm here for your hand-outs?" She said looking down at Lily.

And things didn't get any better from there.

"Don't they teach you how to sit properly at that circus of a school you go to? Don't slouch!" Petunia snarled as the James and the rest of Lily's family approached the table.

And when James introduced himself as politely as he possibly could, Lily's sister huffed and said, "Oh please, an uncultured swine would have more grace befitting of a gentleman."

Petunia never hid her disdain for the Wizarding World, but even this was getting into more extreme territory that she had never ventured into so publicly.

"Got yourself a new boyfriend, Lily? One freakish bully wasn't enough for you? At least you've dumped that Snape kid. I've always said that he was bad news, but I guess it's been established that 'bad news' is your type."

Lily's parents had tried to run interference, falling back on proven methods developed through many years of trial and error.

They started serving the food, talking about how wonderful it would be if there was a white Christmas, and singing praises to both daughters while gently reminding them that this was a family diner and they should act like a family. Especially in front of a guest, even if they themselves didn't particularly like said guest.

Usually this was enough to stop Petunia's tirade against Lily, but this time it was different.

"I'm only voicing some observations," Petunia said with a sickly sweet smile on her face, "I won't pretend to be civil to the freaks if they can't be civil back."

Lily had to physically restrain James from leaping across the table to get at Petunia. And what worried Lily was that she had no idea what James would do if he got close enough to her sister in the heat of the moment. But Lily knew exactly what Petunia would do.

"Oh, how violent! Is this how all Hogwash students behave? A good thing your kind is quarantined away from the rest of our proper society. I can't even imagine what it would be like if you freaks went around attacking good, honest, normal people for no reason."

Bitterness had twisted Petunia's facial features, but there was a clear underlying smugness underneath her scowls.

Petunia knew what she was doing, and Lily questioned why she ever thought they could just go back to being the Queen of the Schoolyard, and the Brave Princess of Chimneys like they were in their childhood years.

"A shame the two of you are planning to leave on Christmas Eve after we pay for your dinner. Father and I are planning to attend the premier of that Star Wars movie that's been causing such a stir in the States. But given how lazy freaks like you are, I hardly think either of you will be able to wait long enough to see it. There will be, after all, only two theaters in London that are to show the movie, and I can't imagine how long the lines will be."

Maybe it was because there was more than just one Wizard in the house rather than just Lily. Maybe it was the stress of the holiday season getting to Petunia, she never did like Christmas after all. Or maybe her illness that was pushing her to the line that she'd never dared to cross before.

"Is a soap opera in space too mundane for the likes of your kind? My sincerest apologies for offending your delicate sensibilities."

Lily tried to defend herself. To defend James, and the rest of the Wizarding World. But the only thing Petunia had to say was:

"You're mistaking me for someone who cares."

But none of Petunia's insults throughout the evening held a candle to her parting words.

Lily's sister slammed her fists down against the table and as she stood up from her chair. The sudden bang silenced all of the other conversations.

"But you know what makes me feel truly sick? Having you occupy my head-space rent free. You don't belong. Get out. " Petunia spat out with so much more venom than Lily thought was possible.

Lily burst out into tears as her sister stormed away without even bothering to look back.

She never felt more grateful for James's presence, tucking her into his warm embrace and calming her with soothing words and promises to make things better.

You don't belong here. Get out.

One minute Dania was sitting at the table, preparing herself to face her sister who wasn't, and then next she had thrown open the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom.

She couldn't remember what happened. She didn't even know how, when, or why she left the dining room only to lock herself in the bathroom.

Was the dinner over? Dania hoped it was for the sake of her own dignity. The last thing she wanted was to make a scene and bring attention to the fact that she wasn't who she said she was.

Get out of my head or suffer.

Dania flinched. Why was she poking around the medicine cabinet anyway?

Oh right. Her meds. She forgot about her meds. She needed to take them before she went to bed. And after all the stress she'd been under these last couple of days, she didn't want to risk going without them.

Oh you think you're stressed now? I'm just getting started.

Dania let out a low, disgruntled growl escape the back of her throat. She tossed a shampoo bottle aside as she dug deeper into the cabinet. Where were her medications? She knew they were around her somewhere.

Get out. I'm warning you.

There!

Dania's hands closed around an orange bottle, and she pulled it out. She scanned the label and to her relief, she had finally found the right one.

With a trembling hand, she shut the cabinet door and fumbled her fingers as she began unscrewing the cap. It took her a few tries to figure out how to get past the safety lock but she managed.

I'll make you pay for ruining my life.

Dania cupped a hand and tipped two pills into her palm. She closed her hand and brought it against her chest. She breathed in deep.

You think you can just get on with your life like nothing happened? With no consequences whatsoever?

She flicked her eyes up and stared at her face in the mirror. The face of a stranger. The face of Petunia Evans.

I can do this until the end of time. You'll never rest easy again if I have anything to say about it.

Dania knuckles went white as she tightened her grip on the half empty pill bottle. She kept her meds close to her but she didn't take them. "Were you here this entire time?" She whispered, staring at the reflection in front of her.

Who you do you think keeps sending you to the hospital?

"Figured as much." Dania heaved a sigh, "Why couldn't I hear you before now? What changed? "

You never wanted to listen to me. The only language you seem to understand is pain. But then Lily showed up, and I suppose that you should never underestimate the power of spite.

"What does that supposed to mean?"

Lets just say I had a lot of pent up rage I needed to let out.

"So what? You just want to sling insults at your sister?"

What I want is for you to leave.

"If I could leave, I would." Dania said. She pressed her lips together in a thin line.

Doesn't change the fact that you're still here. And believe me, you've definitely overstayed your welcome.

The pressure in Dania's head increased exponentially. Dania almost doubled over in pain, but managed to catch herself against the counter at the last minute. "I can't think straight when you do that." she hissed, putting the bottle down before pressing her fingers against her forehead, as if the action could actually help.

Good. Maybe that will make you get out faster.

"I don't know how to get out!" Dania said, bordering on hysterics, "You think I want to be here?"

Yes.

"Well I don't! I really don't! I'm sorry we're in this shitty situation, and I'm sorry I can't leave you alone."

If you were really sorry, you'd leave.

Dania resisted the urge to scream out in frustration "I'm telling you! I don't know how to leave!"

You're just too much of a coward to figure out how to do it.

"There is no way."

No muggle way. Lily might know something.

"You hate magic."

I hate this situation more. I'm mad, and fresh out of fucks to give.

"You're not what I imagined a younger Petunia Dursley to be like."

That's because I'm not a Dursley, and I never will be because of you. Now stop talking to yourself in the mirror. It's not normal.

"Nothing about this situation is normal."

That's because you stole my perfectly ordinary life away and turned it into an absolute monstrosity! And now you won't get out! You don't belong here, just go home already!

"I. Don't. Know. How"

All you have to do is ask my sister. Not right now while she's being a whiny brat, but maybe sometime in the morning.

"I can't"

Why not?

Why not indeed?

Lily Evans was perhaps the only person who would be able to tell that Dania wasn't really Petunia and actually be able to do something about it.

She could help them. Help Dania get out of this mess of an afterlife. Lily had access to the Hogwarts library with tens of thousands of books solely dedicated to magical subjects. There had to be something in there about soul-swapping, universe hopping, or whatever it was that happened to Dania and Petunia.

Lily and James were only visiting for four days, and leaving on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas day with James's parents. Dania had the time to plan, the time to ask, and the time to convince Lily that something was terribly wrong with her sister.

But Dania hesitated.

Because in the end, Lily was still a seventeen year old girl, and not even a completely trained witch. Was she even capable of tackling a problem as big as this?

And even if she could, if she figured out a way to help Petunia regain control of her body, what would happen to Dania? Would Dania, as the invading soul, even be able to survive whatever cure Lily could come up with?

Because if it came down to either saving Petunia or Dania, there was no doubt that Lily would choose Petunia over a stranger whose only caused problems.

As much as Dania wanted to see if magic could reverse the effects of whatever it was that happened to her, she didn't trust it enough to actually go through with it.

It was too risky. She couldn't die. Not again.

I'm waiting.

Dania stayed quiet.

What happened to all of that brooding and angsting and 'Oh woe is me, all I wanted to do was go home'.
"I do want to go home. There is nothing I want more than to see my family again."

But when I offer you an actual chance of getting out of here, you clam up and say that it's impossible? You're living in a world of magic now. You don't have to like it, I most certainly don't, but you can't just ignore it.

"I am not about to put my life in the hands of a teenager who hasn't even graduated magic high school. And I don't exactly trust her to have my best interests in mind when trying to reverse this."

If you don't talk to Lily, I'm going to make you live out the rest of your miserable existence in this universe on life support.

"I'm sorry, Petunia" Dania said, strengthening her resolve. There was no turning back. "But for now, I'm staying.

So move aside"

A deep power sent ripples through her mind like a stone being tossed into a still pond.

And suddenly, the voice went quiet. The pressure was lifted, and the thick veil of fog was lifted.

Petunia was gone. Banished to the farthest reaches of their shared mind.

And Dania hadn't felt so good since Mrs. Evans first opened the letter from Lily announcing that she was coming home with her boyfriend for the holidays.

Her usual aches and pains were still there, and her particularly persistent headaches still pinched at her brain. She also suspected that her light sensitivity issues hadn't been resolved, but at least she could breathe again.

Dania uncurled her hand. The pills were still there, completely in tacked. She was actually surprised that she hadn't crushed them completely after everything that had happened.

Without saying another word, she popped them into her mouth, turned on the tap, leaned over, and washed her meds down with water straight from the faucet.

Dania took some time to clean up the mess she made in the medicine cabinet before turning on her heels with the intent of going to her room and collapsing on her bed. She felt that she deserved a nice long nap.

She left the bathroom.

And the door closed behind her.

Author's Note:

Merry Christmas everyone, my present to all of is the final installment of the Christmas Dinner arch. And oh boy did I drag this thing out. It was only supposed to be a chapter long but ended up being three. Next part will be a time skip and I promise it won't take as long to get through it.

Some of you guys guessed that Petunia wasn't actually gone, and kudos to you for figuring it out! She's been here since pretty much the beginning and has been fighting back for control of her body since Dania showed up on the scene. And that's why Dania feels like a dumpster fire every waking moment of her life.

I'm not sure how in character Petunia is, I'm trying to write her as what I would imagine her to be in her early 20s as opposed to her early 30s. She ended up being a lot angrier and sassier than expected, but it was really entertaining to write.

A note about the Star Wars movie reference: Star Wars: A New Hope was released in the US in May of 1977 but didn't premier until December 27, 1977 in the UK. And in honor of the recent release of Rise of Skywalker, I thought I'd give the franchise a mention.

Also, if you guys are interested in reading a Self-insert based in absurdism as opposed to one based in existentialism (like this fic is) check out my other story We put the Fun in Funeral. It's a Percy Jackson fic and it's a wild ride to read if I do say so myself.

Thank you to everyone who has read this story and left a review! It fuels my motivation and desire to continue writing this story every time I read one. It means a lot to know that people are actually enjoying my writing.

See you all in the New Year!

~Lost-In-The-Muse