Rain or shine, I don't feel a thing

Just some information upon my skin

I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed

The barometric pressure we always blamed

All I want is to flip the switch

Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

Touch / Sleeping at last

"I never wanna do that again."

"You've made that abundantly clear," I sighed, once again feeling terribly for Jervis, who had to deal with his shit mood the entire time he was getting his measurements. "You're a rotten bastard, you know?" I was glad Jervis had left, shopping for clothes and lunch, so we could discuss his attitude towards my friend.

"Yep." He popped the P with his lips, sipping at his first beer of the day before lunchtime. "Never hid that."

"No, but you're really showing it off today, you know? Jervis is one of the few friends I have that has been supportive about all this, J. He's the one who encouraged me to break you out. You could be a little nicer."

J raised an eyebrow. "Why, though? Doesn't make a lot of sense. Guy like that probably has ulterior motives."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't know Jervis. Plus, I'm paying him well to let us stay here for now, I wanted us out of the Narrows until the Bat wears himself out."

"Where are we?" He asked, looking mildly alarmed.

I looked away. "Still in city limits."

"Oh, shit Harley, we're halfway to the Palisades aren't we?"

I grimaced. "A little more than halfway…"

"Fuck, I thought this place looked too nice."

"Listen, it's fine. Jervis is a designer in more than one sense of the word, and he keeps this apartment because the police don't bother rich people. So we're safe here. "

"Safe to itch. God, I shouldn't have asked. I feel like I have worms in my skin."

"Oh, shut up, you big baby. Only you would complain about having a free stay in a luxury penthouse."

He grumbled under his breath, reaching for a cigarette he didn't have. I handed him my vape with an apologetic expression. "Jervis is buying us a carton- but he asked that we don't smoke around the clothes- so mostly in our room. He doesn't want it to yellow the fabric."

His lip curled. " This guy makes drugs?"

I snorted. "Yeah, but he's not… it's not the same kind of drug. Hell, not even the same customer base."

His eyebrows screwed together, and I sighed, exiting the room, and returning with my jacket from the night before, retrieving the small purple device, holding it up for him. "Remember this?" He nodded, and I continued. "This is the kind of thing Jervis makes. It's a blend of things, meant to give a very specific high every time. It is a high-end street drug. This kind of thing is usually only bought by people with more money than sense."

He raised an eyebrow. "Alright, well, what would that little tube run you?"

"If I didn't know him? Close to two grand. And it's one of his cheapest options. He made it for Halloween."

J's eyes bugged out at the price, swiping the vape from me, and staring at it. "Jesus, I got into the wrong profession."

"It's not all sunshine and rainbows though. Jervis hates most of his clientele. A bunch of spoiled trust-fund babies, and bored Mob wives. The Mob wives are his favorites, though. He loves gossip, but he'll never admit it."

"Why… Why?" He looked up at me. "Weed is so cheap. Fuck, coke is cheaper than this."

I laughed. "I got that for free," I swiped it from his fingers, taking a hit before I settled across his lap, straddling his legs. "He felt bad for me after you escaped. I hated going on TV. As for why? Well, I told you. It's meant to be the same high, every time. A sort of 'perfect' high. Some of his blends are meant to be more meditative, or psychoactive, but all of them have a story ." I roll my eyes. "He claims to find that as pretentious as I do, but he puts too much work into it to not enjoy it a little bit."

"So what's that one meant to do."

I smiled, "Well, it was inspired by you, you know?"

He blinked. "Wow? Always nice to meet a fan?"

I laughed again, harder. "I told you, it was a Halloween thing, supposed to be scary, I guess? But it's actually a really safe compound, from what Jervis told me it's pretty close to THC, anyway. But mostly it's supposed to make you feel… light. Giggly. I guess?"

He rolled his eyes. "Wow, I feel so good knowing my likeness was used as a light scare tactic for college children trying weed for the first time. That isn't emasculating at all. You know, I mostly do stimulants, right? He could have at least… made it an upper."

I snickered. "I'll give him your patch notes."

"I'm just saying, if he was gonna make a drug inspired by me, my input could have helped."

"Well if he made a drug for you it would be more potent than fent, and you would be the only customer, so," I shrugged.

He tried to fight the laugh, but it escaped regardless. "Oh fuck you, Harls." He wrapped an arm around me, jerking me closer in a rough move that made me blush.

"You did already. A few times. Gotta be getting tired of it by now," I sighed, shaking my head.

"I would say 'You wish', but you better not wish anything like that." He narrowed his eyes playfully.

"Life certainly would be simpler."

"Simple is overrated. Let's be complicated."

"That could be your tagline."

"Nah, I'll stick with the scars thing."

"They are quite striking." I ran my fingertips over them, and he smirked.

"That feels funny."

"Oh?"

He hummed in the affirmative, leaning into my hand. "I like it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Don't stop."

I chuckled, but acquiesced, my other hand coming to the opposite cheek, making his eyes relax, and close.

In the softness of that moment, I couldn't resist, leaning forward to press my lips to his. He had me held down on the cushions of the couch within a moment, hands gripping my face as I did the same to him, and we stayed like that, making out on the couch like horny teenagers for a while.

Eventually, he did pull away, breathing hard, and fast, but keeping his eyes closed, seemingly fighting some fight internally, before they opened, unreadable and flat, despite their depth, and he smiled at me.

"We should probably go to the bedroom if we're going to go any further, I don't need your rich friend to get jealous. I mean, being magnificently endowed does come with a moral duty to not brag too much. That's why I'm so humble."

I cracked up, again. "God, you're-" I smacked his chest, making him pull back, his arms coming around me to pull me with him until he was upright, and I was in his lap again. "Too much."

"And I'll stop doing it when you stop laughing."

I pulled away, standing, prompting a disapproving look from him. "God, why are you so touchy? It doesn't fit your image."

"I think it fits pretty well." He shrugged, arm swinging out to capture me again, dragging me back, and rearranging me on his lap. "I mean, what screams bad guy more than a guy like me? One who absolutely does not care about your personal boundaries, and insists that you are touchy without giving a fuck if you wanted to be?" He smiled. "Why is it considered so manly to act like a total virgin? I used to bully people for that, and now I'm meant to emulate it? No thanks." He coughed. "Besides. It's not like you mind, right?"

I grinned. "Feeling insecure?"

"No, just wanted to know how much trouble I'll have out of you," He raised an eyebrow superiorly, and I giggled.

"Only enough to keep it interesting."

"Why must you always run?" He sighed.

"As if you'd be interested if there wasn't a chase."

He tilted his head in embarrassed admission. "I can't deny I love a good hunt. But you can stop now, you know? I won, I think."

"Who says I'm running now?"

"Well you still haven't admitted that you love me, so there's that."

"You know, if you aren't careful, someone's going to think you're in love with me. " I laughed, but he stayed quiet. Looking away for a long moment, but he kept grinning, though it was tight at the edges.

"Yeah? Well, shows what they know, huh?" He said finally. "You're the romantic here, Bunny."

"And what if I am?"

"What?" He didn't look at me, but his voice changed, sounding as though he was holding something back again.

"What if I am in love with you? What then?"

"Are you?"

"You're the one who keeps saying I am."

"Harley-"

"I mean, I've been trying to reason it out myself. What sane person does what I did? Breaking you out of Arkham, throwing away my entire life- my future. For a life on the run. A notorious criminal asshole in my bed. One who has threatened to scar and maim me- who has hit me, and pushed me to the point of insanity. A man who makes me so goddamn angry I want to throttle him most days. I mean. I must be crazy." I grinned. "But then, love makes you do crazy things, huh, Mr. J?"

He kissed me again, harder, and this time we did not come up for air.

Much later in the day, redressed, and me highly embarrassed by the fact that Jervis had definitely been home for at least half of what we had been doing- unless he had had the good sense to leave for a while, which I hoped for, though I knew was unlikely. We were in his home after all.

That hopeless hope was dashed when we stepped into the kitchen, to find a thoroughly unimpressed Jervis.

"I was gone less than an hour." He sighed. "Your lunch is on the stove. I'm sure you have an appetite."

"Dinner now," J said off-hand, sauntering to the takeout boxes still sitting out.

"Sorry," I offered.

"It's fine." He sighed. "I stayed in the kitchen because I couldn't hear anything in here. What little I heard when I came in was traumatizing."

J snorted. "So you're boring?"

"J, please be nice."

"This is me being nice!"

"You could be nicer."

"But then you wouldn't love me," He grinned, smug.

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes, sitting in front of Jervis, "Can you grab me a beer?"

He cracked the lid off with his tooth before placing the bottle in front of me, sliding my microwaved take-out box in front of me with it. "Eh, I'll eat it later."

"You'll eat it now." He sighed, placing a fork into my hand.

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are,"

"No-"

"You've only had an omelet today, and it's dark out. Eat, or I'll force-feed you."

"Jesus Christ," I grumbled, twirling the fork into the pasta.

"You brought this on yourself, and you know it. If you're gonna bitch about what I eat, you can expect me to call you on your shit."

Jervis laughed quietly, standing. "Well, since the rest of the Apartment is available to me now, I'm going to my room. Mr. Joker, I picked you up some new clothing while I was out. It is off the rack," He said distastefully, "But when I head back in to work tomorrow, I can get to work on something more substantial. I also…" He cleared his throat. "I also have placed a sketchbook with some of my ideas for your orders, Harley. Take a look, and pick what you like. If there's anything you hate, let me know so I don't waste my time."

"Jervis, you and I both know you couldn't make ugly clothes if you tried."

"True," He considered. "But you're pickier than most, and some of these are going to be big undertakings. I would prefer to be sure."

"Fair enough, we'll take a glance."

J's eyebrow climbed his forehead, but he nodded, looking pleased he would get to provide input. Jervis left the room without much fanfare, and within a matter of minutes, we heard the shower start.

"Eat. I'm not joking." J insisted.

"That's a first."

"Yeah, so you should take it seriously."

"Fine, fine. But when I balloon up like my mother I don't wanna hear it."

"I've seen pictures of your mother, she wasn't fat." He said, confused.

"Are you kidding? Just because she carried it in her ass–"

"Are you actually concerned I'm going to be pissed if you get… a fatter ass?"

"No one likes a fat-ass."

"Not true, for one. And for two, that isn't what people mean by fatass, Harley." He laughed. "God, I am gonna start force-feeding you, you crazy woman."

"No way in hell." I laughed. "As if you're one to talk about healthy eating habits–"

"I think the kids call what I do intuitive eating." He grinned. "It's healthy now."

I snorted. "That isn't what intuitive eating is, you clown."

"Close enough," He snorted. "I eat what I like when I want to. You're the restrictive one."

"Whatever, I'm gonna go get the sketchbook." I stood but was pulled back into the seat with a rough jerk.

"You can." He nodded. "When you eat."

"Jesus." I sighed again. "Fucking fine. You jack-off."

It was a cold night. Gordon stood on the rooftop, the signal light off, but hoping that the vigilante would be here, responding to the text. He was not disappointed.

"We found the body…" Gordon said lowly, and the Bat nodded. Stepping slowly from the shadows. "I need to know what you know. With Dr. Quinzel missing–"

"She was the killer."

"What?"

"Vicki Vale's story seemed to have some truth to it."

Gordon's eyes widened, and he cursed under his breath. "This is- How? How do you know?"

"She left a message for you." He pulled a small recording device from his belt, showing him. "I tested it for fingerprints. It only has Vales and Quinzels."

Gordon stared, before reaching for it. The Batman handed him it easily, but a warning stayed in his voice. "Be… be careful. It's very disturbing."

Gordon nodded. "Thank you for the warning, but I could have guessed that, given what was left of her… They found animal bites on her–"

"She bought guard dogs after the Crane incident. Before meeting Joker. She seems to have taught them new commands."

Gordon grimaced. "I see…"

Batman didn't speak, but behind the cowl, Bruce was disgusted with himself. He couldn't help but feel responsible for the situation. He should have pressed harder- fought more, to get her away from Arkham, away from the clown, lying in wait to corrupt her to such a degree that she believed it was something innate in herself.

"I am going to continue searching. If she's going by his playbook, they'll be holed up in The Narrows."

"That's a good idea, she's also a native. I doubt she would be comfortable leaving her home turf now."

Morning came too quickly and found me with J's tongue in my mouth.

"Jesus, J, you're gonna give me friction burns." I sighed, rolling away. "You gotta give me a break sometime."

"Yeah, eventually, but there's nothing to do here." He sighed. "Nothing but TV and you. I pick you."

"Ah, how complimentary, fucking me is better than daytime TV."

"You should be thrilled, Judge Judy is my shit."

I laughed, rolling on top of him. "You are ridiculous."

"Maybe, but you are too, you're just so deep in it you can't see it. Besides, this is basically our honeymoon, you know? You just tied yourself to me pretty permanently. Much more permanently than a marriage certificate."

"And I'm the romantic?" I giggled.

"Shut up," He rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but we can't stay in bed all day."

"We better get to it then." He smiled.

"Couldn't agree more," I purred, biting his lip roughly, before standing. "Just because I let you talk me into being rude yesterday, doesn't mean it's a given, please get up."

"No."

"J–"

"I'm still tired. There's nothing to do in this shitty apartment."

I decided the fight wasn't worth it. "Fine, but we still need to go through that sketchbook. I can't believe you distracted me."

"I can. It was boring. Also, I think tonight I'll call Johnny, and set up a job. I'm thinking we hit a bank."

"I was hoping to last at least a couple weeks under the radar—" He glared. "But we can try to speed that along. What about your suit? It will probably take Jervis a while?"

He shrugged. "We can wear masks. That way it makes sense. Like it was on purpose. I don't know." He sighed. "Ideally? We skip the bank robbery and start on some assassinations, but I doubt your friend with the tape measure would appreciate us bringing work home."

I snorted. "Probably not."

"So. Bank Job."

"Fine. But we can't lead the cops here."

He sighed. "Got it. When can we leave?"

"I figure you want to wait to move until your suit is done."

He groaned. "You did this on purpose." Yes.

"J, I'm sorry, alright? I forgot the suit. I didn't mean to. But, hey? Think of it as a vacation! You said you needed one right?"

"Goodnight, Harley." He flipped me off before rolling over, done with the conversation. I slipped on a nightgown from the drawer nearby before I questioned him.

"It's not even lunchtime?"

"Fuck. Off."

I giggled, amused at the fact he was snoring before the door closed behind me. Jervis sat at the kitchen table, cereal bowl in front of him, along with an ashtray.

"Can I hit that?"

"Sure," He handed me the joint, and I puffed on it gratefully.

"Thanks. It's been a morning already."

"I'm just thankful that you two decided not to traumatize me this morning."

"Listen, Jervis–"

"Only teasing, Harley." He laughed. "I assumed I would be dealing with similar. I remember Pamela's stories from college."

I grimaced. "Don't- uh. Don't mention those to him."
Jervis raised an eyebrow, still amused. "Possessive one, is he?"

"Eh, I can't complain too much. Makes me feel wanted."

He snorted. "You two are a match made in hell. He's much more Handsome in person, you know? I had thought he would be a total gremlin from what they show on the news, but there is a classically handsome man under all that grease paint and scar tissue."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Don't tell him that though, his ego is big enough. We gotta shrink it where we can."

"Oh, you mean where you can." he laughed. "I will not be insulting the terrorist, but if you feel safe doing so I support you."

"He likes you, you know?" Jervis raised an eyebrow. "No, really."

"That's what he's like when he likes someone?"

"Yeah. Don't ask about how meeting Pam went."

Jervis laughed. "I can see that. Very different people. And I assume Pamela is always going to hate him, for 'dragging you down.' What she doesn't see is how much happier you are with the reins in someone else's hands for once."

I scoffed, taking another hit. "Maybe. By the way, he's gonna be setting up a job tonight, so one day soon you'll probably come home to us gone. Don't be alarmed."

"He isn't waiting for his suit?"

"Apparently not." I groaned. "But we'll be back, to wait it out. He's just bored."

He laughed. "Oh? You aren't exciting enough for him now?"

"Not if I want to keep my ability to walk," I sighed. "The man is a machine. In his defense, he has too much goddamn energy. I've never seen someone with that much fucking energy."

"That much fucking energy, or that much fucking energy?"

"Jervis!" I laughed, before giving an admission. "Both. It's odd to see him so preoccupied. Usually, I'm the problem child when it comes to this stuff. I think he really hates it here, sadly." I sighed. "Maybe I should have found a place in the Narrows, but I know they're circling the area like fucking vultures, waiting for any sign of us. It's hopeless." I groaned. "Staying in a place that makes him comfortable gets us thrown right back into the fishbowl, and coming somewhere away from the cops makes him practically depressed. Jesus Christ, wait." I stared, taking another hit, and thinking. "Do you think he's like, actually depressed?" I coughed out. "I mean, I've been trying my best here- I wish if he's that bad off he would give me some other options, you know? I'm not the only one with ideas here he absolutely–"

"Harley!" He snatched the joint from my hand. "You're freaking out. Take a breath."

I did as he said. "Fuck. He's gonna make me go gray. Isn't he? Should I get Botox? I'm not even Thirty yet." I groaned.

"You… have a lot of feelings." He laughed.

"You would too, if you had to put up with him.

After Jervis left for work, I slipped back into the bedroom, to find J flipping through the sketches, with a bored expression.

"There you are," He sighed, jerking his chin to express that he wanted me to sit next to him on the bed. I followed orders and was unsurprised to feel him pull me closer. "Not gonna be able to see from all the way over there."

"You started without me? They're going to be my clothes, you know?"

"And I have excellent taste."

"Please, knowing you, you've narrowed it down to a couple of string bikinis, you pig."

J snorted, nudging me. "My main concern is- I hate all this blue. Red is your color, Bunny. Like, look at this." He showed a page, with a blue and red corset, and shorts in the same shades. "Hideous." He flipped a page, displaying a new look, a pantsuit, that somehow, with the ruffled blouse and long black fur coat was more feminine than the previous look. "The furs are nice. I think they would suit you. Not sure about staining though." He grimaced. "It's hard enough to get blood out of regular fabric."

"I like this one?" I pointed to a new page- a high-necked romper, styled to look like a dress- black and red shimmering fringe to fall around my hips. Long sleeves that would be made to gleam under spotlights. "Sexy. Looks comfortable."

He nodded. "I like it, but we need to get you better shoes. Boots. Steel-toed, preferably. Something sturdy, and that will help you keep your footing. I'd also like to get you some knives."

"I'd prefer something else. I'm not that good with knives. I'm better with a bat, or a baton." He went silent as I continued looking through the book, until eventually, I gave in, looking up to see him grinning down at me. "What?"

"Nothing." He said, shaking his head. "Private joke. I like this one." He pointed, and glancing down I tilted my head. It was a dress.

"I'm not sure… What if I need to fight?"

He shrugged. "I'll shoot anyone who looks up your skirt."

I cackled. "What a gentleman."

"Nah, just reasonable. Why are they looking at my stuff."

Bristling, I glared. "I am not your stuff. "

He rolled his eyes. "Don't."

" Don't what?"

"Don't start a fight because you're as bored as I am."

"I'm not bored," I said. "Some of us don't need insanity 24/7 to lead an interesting life."

"Last warning." He sighed. "I'm not gonna fight you right now, Harley. I'm not in the mood."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, J. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Having to stay in a Luxury apartment, meals paid–" He stopped my words with a hand on my throat.

"Alright. Fine." J sighed, pushing me onto my back with his grip on me, shifting until he was hovering over me. I thrashed, but his grip made my head spin. He began unbuttoning his shirt and my efforts redoubled, glaring up at him.

"Hey, I warned you." He laughed as he finished, reaching down to pull up my nightgown, letting it settle at my waist. "God, Harley. Why are you fighting? Look, you need it too." He sighed, and I blushed, closing my eyes as the embarrassment spread. "Aw, so cute." he leaned in to kiss me. I tried to fight the feelings he was bringing down on me, disgusted with myself- but all too soon, my thrashing and fighting subsided. When he felt me relax, J pulled back, a small smile still gracing his scarred lips. "There you are, beautiful. Now lay back, I still haven't thanked you for your gift."

"I have no idea what you mean," I sniffed, but relaxed, trying to fight the blush begging to return as he kissed my stomach, scooting off the bed, to kneel on the floor. He jerked me closer, legs off the bed now. "Jesus, what are you doing? A Pap-smear?"

He chuckled, throwing my legs over his shoulders, but not answering meaningfully past that. He started in on me without warning, making me cry out.

"Fuck! J, please, don't stop-"

"Not fucking stopping" Came his muffled reply, as he didn't pull away, tongue running long and thick strokes across my oversensitive skin, and all too soon, I was pulling him closer, uncaring if he could breathe- only wanting more. Only needing him closer, even if it would have killed us both. All too soon, he sent me spiraling over the edge, his fingers joining in then, as he continued his assault on me, making me scream. He seemed gleeful at my reactions, only demanding I scream louder when my cries became whimpers. Eventually, Joker either had mercy or decided it was his turn.

He stood, climbing back into bed, before pressing his chest to my back. I moaned at the contact, making him chuckle, before he threw one of my legs over the top of both of his, and I cried out at his sudden entrance.

"Wait!" I cried, a hand coming to rest on top of his on my hip, but I was surprised when he listened without hesitation, breathing heavily into my ear, he kissed my neck, waiting for me to readjust. When I nodded, he groaned, hand on my hip moving instead to circle my waist, as he began moving his hips in a steady, but slow beat. "Oh god," I hadn't meant to speak again, but it was all too much, making my head feel like it was spinning again- I felt nearly high off of him, and after another moment, I rolled my hips back towards him pressing as close as we could be, and signaling him to go faster. He took the hint, speeding his movements, and slipping his hand back down from my waist, to where his fingers slid over my clit in featherlight touches that were nearly too much. I wasn't expecting him to speak when he did.

"Sometimes I want to rip you open, and climb inside." He groaned. "I want to live here."

"I love you," I whimpered, making his breath catch as he sped his fingers.

"What are you?" he growled, "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since the first time I saw you- I knew you were different but I never- fuck- I never expected - shit. "

All too soon we were both tumbling off a high peak, with my nails cutting into his wrist, and his sharp teeth breaking the skin of my shoulder, as he bit down savagely, marring my nightgown with blood, that he lapped at in long strokes of his tongue as my sanity returned.

"Better?" He asked when my breathing was back to normal, and unable to speak, I only rolled over, burying my face into his chest. "Good. I missed you, Baby."

Soon we were sat with takeout containers, which we explained over the phone would need to be left at the door, due to sickness. We didn't exactly lie. J is a sick bastard. It had taken us another hour to leave the bed, and even then I was a limping mess, making him laugh at me. I had kept the nightgown on for now, though the blood at the hem near my neck made it clear that I would need to change before Jervis got home from his office at the Tailor shop. I still had a couple hours for that though, and relished being comfortable instead, for now.

"This was double the price as our usual place, and tastes like shit," Joker complained.

"The spicy noodles aren't bad?" I offered, and he took a bite, grimacing.

"Why do rich people hate flavor?"

"Same reason they go apeshit for the minimalism stuff, probably." I shrugged. "Bad taste."

"Here, here." He growled. "At least they can't fuck up fortune cookies."

"Hey! That one's mine!" I shouted, reaching for the cookie, but he threw it in his mouth before I could grab it. "You moron, you didn't even take out the fortune!"

He chewed it anyway, seeming non-plussed. "Tastes… wise."

"Fuck you, man." I laughed. "I'm gonna check to see if Jervis has anything sweet. Shit. You're a terrible influence."

"Whatever, I need to call Johnny. I've been thinking. This is your first public appearance, right?"

I stopped, turning to look at him before I shrugged. "I guess? I mean, I'm pretty proud of that breakout."

"I'm thinking… what about instead of a bank we hit a Jewelry store? One of the big rich-bitch ones? Would certainly be a statement."

It would be a statement. I tried to decide what I thought of it, before giving up and nodding. "But I wanna pick out my cut."

He shrugged. "Sounds good. I'll message Johnny, I have some ideas for your bat. So scadaddle." Joker stood, pulling a burner from my pocket and leaving the room, and me, to my own sugar sweep.

AN: Please review.