Chapter 29:

Laxus was pulled from his sleep by a knock at his door. It started as a quiet, polite rap but soon turned into and impatient pounding. He raised his head off the pillow and glanced around drowsily, lifting himself up on his arms as he listened and hoped that whoever it was would just assume he wasn't home and leave. Silence ensued for a moment before an ever-sweet voice called from outside.

"Laxus! I know you're home, open up!" Mirajane called melodiously. He groaned and rubbed his face into his pillow one more time before finally pulling himself out of bed.

He opened the door a crack and glared down at the snowy-haired woman. She smiled at him despite his scowl.

"It's eight in the morning, Mirajane. What do you want?" he growled at her.

"We're just here to help you with your date tonight," she grinned.

"We?" he glanced past her and saw a shock of blue hair. Juvia stood awkwardly behind her, clearly having been forced to come herself. She smiled sheepishly at him, "No."

"No?" Mira looked almost dejected, "What do you mean no?"

"I don't need any help…" his eyes cut over to Juvia, "And it ain't a date."

Mira's smile widened, "Oh, you need all the help you can get," with what could have been a dainty push she slammed the door back, knocking Laxus in the side of the face. While he was recovering she slid past the opening with Juvia in tow.

"Dammit Mira! Just mind your own business for once!" he growled, rubbing the side of his jaw.

She blatantly ignored him and marched on to his room. Juvia tiptoed quietly after, her large eyes taking in the rooms as she passed them. He gritted his teeth and followed them, immediately finding his bedroom in shambles as Mira ripped apart his closet. Juvia hesitantly took a seat on his bed, her eyes gliding over burn marks on his walls and ceilings from nights where he'd gotten too angry and let loose.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Laxus growled as Mira threw yet another shirt onto the floor.

"Well…" she sighed, putting her hands on her hips, "There's no way around it, we'll have to go shopping."

"Mira! I don't need to go shopping!" Laxus snapped, snatching up some shirts from the floor, "What I have is fine!"

She turned on him, a flash of she-devil in her eyes, "You want to make a good impression, don't you?"

"What does Gajeel care what I wear?" he roared back at her, advancing to the challenge in her eyes.

Juvia's reluctant voice came from beside them, stealing all the fire out of him as she spoke, "Gajeel has decent fashion sense…"

He snapped his head around to look at her and she glanced down at her hands, "That is… Gajeel helps Juvia pick out dresses for dates… he will probably look his best too…"

"That settles it, then," Mira beamed triumphantly and Laxus let out an exasperated sigh, "We're going. Get dressed!"

Laxus huffed as he grabbed his shirt from the day before and pulled it on. Mira sat comfortably on his bed and Juvia's navy stare was hyper focused on the ground. The poor woman had probably been scared into coming along. He pulled his jeans over his shorts and walked out, listening to the hurried patter of their feet behind him as he stopped to grab his headphones.

"Where are you taking me?" Laxus muttered as Mira led the way into the morning sunlight.

"Well, we need to get you a suit- "

"I havea suit- "

"And it probably wouldn't hurt to have some new shoes… and maybe a watch."

"A watch?"

"Oh, come now Laxus, every formal man needs a watch. Isn't that right, Juvia?"

"Juvia thinks it would complete the outfit…"

"There you have it!" Mira sang happily.

Laxus just rolled his eyes and pushed his hands into his pockets. He followed them as Mira chattered away happily, leading them down a street with some clothes shops and restaurants. She ushered them into a store with expensive looking suits in the windows and immediately took to the racks, pulling out shirts and ties that honestly Laxus would probably never have touched if he were here on his own.

"You know, some lavenders and blues would be good to add to your wardrobe. You're always in purple and yellow. You should really mix it up a bit…" Laxus just followed behind Mirajane as she babbled away, criticizing his sense of fashion and picking out shirts in almost every shade of blue imaginable. Juvia was looking at some dark grey vests and speaking to a slim man as he pointed out different styles.

Suddenly, Mira threw the shirts she had collected into Laxus's arms and rushed him towards the changing rooms, muttering something about Magnolia being too small of a town.

"The fuck, Mira…?" Laxus growled just as a dinging noise made it to his ears from the front door. His eyes widened as he glimpsed black hair and suddenly Mira pulled the curtain shut to the dressing room, "Was that Gajeel?"

"Shhhh!" Mira hushed him, "Now hurry up and get dressed! I'm trying to keep him from knowing you're here!"

"What the hell does it matter?" he snapped back at her in a whisper, throwing the mountain of clothes on the bench. Her eyes widened and his heart sank a little bit. She stuck out her bottom lip as if he'd just made her upset and he crossed his arms in defeat.

"It'll ruin the magic if he sees you early, Laxus…" she batted her eyelashes at him, "I just want to make your date special… am I not helping?"

"Fine, Mira, do whatever you want," he resigned and she smile triumphantly. She waved at him as if to signal him to start getting dressed and he complied, working his way through at least twenty shirts she'd picked out. He could hear Juvia from across the store, laughing nervously about how she was there shopping for Gray. Gajeel's voice was approaching their direction and damn him if Laxus didn't suddenly feel nervous.

"…I'm just happy you're finally getting out of the house," Pantherlily piped happily, receiving only a grunt in reply, "it wouldn't hurt to get a full suit, anyway. You never know when you might need it. Your white one is too gaudy for special occasions."

"It's a stage costume." Gajeel growled. He sounded tired, like this whole ordeal was draining for him. Laxus wrinkled his nose at the faint smell of cigarettes as he took the stall next to him. Did Gajeel smoke? He'd never seen him doing it before. Come to think of it, he'd seen Gajeel both early in the morning and late at night and he'd never even had a pack on him. So what was this?

"You should try wearing something other than red. When you're not wearing black, you're wearing red. Some more color wouldn't hurt. You've got such dark skin you could try orange or yellow…"

Gajeel didn't reply and Laxus busied himself with his own wardrobe change. He slipped on several different shirts and regarded them all dispassionately, although he could see Mira's face light up over a few of them. For hours, she kept bringing him different things as they danced around the only other two patrons in the small store, dashing just out of sight around columns or mirrors or hiding back in the dressing room. Juvia finally walked over to Laxus's room after Gajeel had left, sighing in relief that she could finally stop her charade. She'd been helping Gajeel pick out an outfit in an effort to keep him from seeing Laxus, knowing too well how upset Mira would get if they were to accidentally bump into each other.

In the end, Mira had actually gotten him in blue. The tailor grinned as he walked out, sporting a white shirt, maroon vest with matching tie, and navy jacket and pants. He had to admit that it actually didn't look half bad for being out of his comfort zone and he could tell Mira was elated. Juvia gave him the final touch, a watch that she'd picked out. He narrowed his eyes at how rosy her cheeks were and she muttered something that sounded like 'how romantic' as she fastened the leather strap around his wrist.

He paid for the ensemble, pretending not to shudder inwardly at the price, and sauntered out into the cool afternoon air. Juvia left them and it was just he and Mira for the trek towards Laxus's house. He heard her sigh contentedly and he chanced a glance over at the blue-eyed woman.

"I wish you would have let me do this kind of thing when we were dating," she had a sour smile on her face as she spoke and she was fidgeting beside him, "Maybe I would have nagged you less about how you dressed."

"Oh, I'm sure you would have found something to get onto me about… if not my clothes then probably my hair," he joked back at her, trying to lighten the mood a little. She smirked.

"Well, you know that's next. You should probably part it for tonight… or slick it back,"

"Nah, you got me dressed up but I'll be damned if you touch my hair," he grinned back at her.

They stayed in silence for a moment. She obviously wanted to say something that Laxus wasn't sure he wanted to hear, so instead they just walked with only the sound of the clicking of his new shoes to ease the cool quiet.

"You're so intimidating, Laxus,"

"Huh?" he looked over at Mira whose eyes were cast to the sky.

"You're so quiet and you have this stern look in your eyes… some people find it hard to talk to you because of it,"

"Thanks for the honesty," he grunted, trying not to bristle at her words. She just laughed lightly.

"I'm just trying to help you," she flashed him a small smile but for some reason it didn't quite make it to her eyes, "You're so strong that sometimes weaker mages see you as being this untouchable thing, like you're above everyone else. Your silence can come across as callous or even critical…"

"I get it, I'm an asshole."

"That's not what a mean," Mirajane stopped him, her large blue eyes meet his golden with a quiet storm in them, "you and Gajeel both have a fear of weakness. What I'm trying to say is… you know he's been through something traumatic and you want to help him work through it. Maybe what he needs, what would help him, is for you to show a little weakness."

He blinked at her, obviously not following what she was saying and she sighed, a hopeless look on her features.

"Just some tips that might help for tonight: make eye contact when he's talking to you, let him know you're listening. Don't let him get drunk… Show him you're having a good time and enjoying his company."

"This isn't my first date, Mira," Laxus huffed, looking away from her. She was trying to help but he didn't like how sad she seemed while doing it.

She shot him a wicked grin, "I thought you said this wasn't a date?"

He immediately felt heat shock his neck and sting the tops of his ears. He gave her a weak smile and she laughed happily. She took the bag that held his clothes from earlier that morning and waved him off.

"It's after 5:00, I'll take these back to your house for you,"

"Oh… thanks…" he reached for his keys but she was already walking away.

"Don't worry, I still have a spare," she smirked at him, "Have fun tonight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"Yeah yeah," he sighed and headed towards Gajeel's house. The breeze picked up as he walked. He could smell autumn in the air and the leaves in the trees were starting to change color. In just a few short weeks Magnolia would be filled in the beautiful oranges and yellows of fall. For a second he wondered which season was Gajeel's favorite and then immediately cast the thought out of his mind and tried to ignore the way his heart seemed to pick up pace.

"Laxus, you're such a fucking kid," he growled to himself as he rounded the bend onto the shoddy street where Gajeel's house set just off the path. He could see a figure on the porch as he approached and stifled a smile as Gajeel's raven hair came into view. His hair was still long, if slightly more tamed than usual. He was also sporting maroon and navy, no doubt the doing of Juvia and Mira. His shirt was a few shades darker than his ruby eyes and he was wearing a navy vest and matching slacks. He wasn't wearing a tie, and instead had the top two buttons of his shirt open. In place of a suit jacket he was wearing a leather jacket.

"You look like a fucking yakuza," Laxus laughed as he approached and Gajeel shot him a keen look.

"Yeah? Well you look like Mira dressed you," he gihi-ed as he jumped off of the porch. Laxus had to admit, Gajeel looked kind of badass. He'd never considered a style like biker-formal existed until now.

"Laxus," Lily's harsh voice caught both of their attentions but Gajeel chose not to look back at him. Laxus lifted an eyebrow to the Exceed that was standing with crossed arms in the doorway of the house, "If you get him drunk, he's staying at your place."

He suddenly felt like there was enough tension to suffocate the three of them. Gajeel just barely looked over his shoulder at his smaller partner but the malice in his eyes were as clear as day. Had they been fighting earlier? That might explain why Gajeel had decided to wait out on the porch.

Damn, he'd never really been that good at diffusing situations.

"It's not a bar, Lily," Laxus tried to smile a bit, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "It's more like a theater…"

"You heard me," he growled and then turned and slammed the door. Laxus clicked his teeth and turned back to Gajeel who was already heading down the street, hands shoved into his pockets and eyes trained on the ground. Laxus caught up to him in a few long strides.

"What the hell was that about?" he huffed.

"He's just sick of my shit," Gajeel growled, not moving his eyes from their place on the ground, "He wants me to stop drinking."

Laxus noticed once again the bags under Gajeel's eyes and the shadows in his scarlet eyes. He tried to remember what Mira had said about silence but what the hell was he supposed to say? Everything about the iron dragon seemed to be steeped in misery. Laxus was supposed to find words to pull him out of it? He gritted his teeth. Mira would probably tell him to be positive. Actually, now that he thought about it, Gajeel tended to surround himself with positive people. Juvia, Levy… even Pantherlily was typically more upbeat, if in a more stern, militaristic way…

Shit, he was no good at this.

"I was planning on cutting you off at three anyway," Laxus hummed, "I ain't letting you drink me out of house and home."

Gajeel snorted, "I'm buying my own."

"Why would I let you do something stupid like that?" Laxus smirked down at the raven, "I asked you to come with me, I ain't making you pay."

Gajeel shot him a look, insistent, "I can buy my own."

"Just buy me a drink later,"

"Just let me buy my own drinks!"

"Fine," he put his hand on top of Gajeel's head as if he were going to ruffle his hair and the raven stiffened, "Last one there buys the drinks."

"Oi?"

He pushed Gajeel's head down and the Iron Dragon stumbled. Laxus took off, using his lightning to help him zip forwards a few meters. He could hear Gajeel swearing from behind him as he broke into a blind sprint.

"That's fucking cheating!"

"Try to keep up, Redfox!" Laxus called after him, powering down his magic and running as fast as he could. Laxus was already out of breath as he pushed himself. He'd never been a runner and Gajeel had more stamina when it came to sprinting. It wasn't long before the raven was running alongside him, his arms and legs pumping furiously as fought to take a lead.

Laxus stole a look over at him. He seemed so much more alive than just a few short moments ago. His eyes were light and swimming with energy. Laxus could even see a faint smile playing at his lips. He quickly overtook Laxus and the two ended up in front of the lounge gasping for breath. Laxus was doubled over with his hands on his knees, almost light headed from lack of oxygen. Gajeel laughed jauntily and smacked the Thunder Dragon on the shoulder.

"We need to work on your cardio," he huffed, "what, do you only lift weights? Where's your stamina?"

"I hate… running…" Laxus gasped, "I had no… idea… you were a distance… runner…"

"And you caught me at the bottom of my game," Gajeel grinned elatedly, "I haven't been jogging in over a month."

"Yeah…? shit…"

"I was going to start back up. Maybe you should come with me. Honestly, you're a little pathetic right now."

"Yeah, well, I still won," Laxus smirked, straightening and wiping the sweat from his brow.

"No, Sparky, I won," Gajeel chuckled.

"You're right. Youwon the race. But I said the loser was buying the drinks."

The dumbfounded look on Gajeel's face actually made Laxus howl with laughter. The Iron Dragon simmered as they approached the lavish entryway. Laxus handed in their tickets and a man in a black suit ushered them into a red-carpeted hall, but a flight of stairs, and to the balcony where a table set for two awaited them. The waiter held their chairs for them to sit and placed two crystal tumblers on the table, pulling out a bottle of amber liquid and filling their glasses before placing it on the table for them. He bowed slightly and then left, drawing the curtain so the two were left alone to view the show from above.

"When you said this place was fancy, you weren't kidding," Gajeel mused, eyes scanning over the railing that looked to be hand carved with intricate designs of angels and dragons and some other mythical beings, "Wonder how much it cost to build this place."

"Probably a fortune," Laxus muttered, unfolding his napkin and placing it over his lap, assuming that was the right thing to do. He had to be honest, he never really paid attention during Erza's etiquette lessons.

"Yeah? Bet you're gonna regret buying me drinks now," Gajeel took a sip of his drink and wrinkled his nose, "this stuff tastes expensive."

Laxus snorted, "Like you can tell how expensive that drink is."

Gajeel raised a studded brow, "Try it. It's smooth."

Laxus lifted the tumbler and sniffed at it. The acerbic smell attacked the inside of his nose like any drink, but hell, he was no connoisseur. It was incredibly smooth, though. He drank it heartily and easily emptied his glass. Laxus could hear Gajeel's I-told-you-so grin before he saw it.

"Goes down easy, huh?" Gajeel smirked.

"Gentleman, some starters before the show?" their waiter returned with a tray full of food. Gajeel's eyes seemed thoughtful for a moment and he looked down at his hands. Laxus furrowed his brow, trying to piece together his sudden reflection. Was he worried about the price? Or was it something more complicated than that?

"You allowed to just leave the tray?" Laxus asked smoothly and Gajeel's eyes widened.

"I… uh… you'll be charged for everything… is that alright?" the waiter stuttered, his mind obviously on the money he was going to be raking in off of the two men.

"S'fine," Laxus waived him to set it down and he bowed again and hurried off. Gajeel shot him a suspicious look.

"You blowing your life savings?" Gajeel muttered.

"Just half of it," Laxus smirked back at him, picking up something pink that could possibly be salmon but he wasn't quite sure, "You need to tell me what this shit is. I've never had it before."

"Why are you doing this?" Gajeel growled, crossing his arms, "Why did you take me here?"

His eyes were guarded and dark. He was staring off the balcony to the people below, keen eyes picking out waiters and following them as they made their rounds to different tables. He looked tired again and the shadows had returned to his face. Laxus studied him; his posture, the way his hands trembled slightly as he took another sip of his drink, the way he kept pulling at his shirt cuffs to hide something on his arms, the slight stink of tobacco that had never been there before. Laxus knew Gajeel had been in a dark place recently but maybe he didn't understand the scope of just how bad it really was for the Iron Dragon. It wasn't like the hardened, tenacious Gajeel Redfox to let something get him down like this. What exactly happened to him?

Again, Laxus was asking questions he didn't know the answers to. He felt a strong sense of déjà vu. Just like back when he had no memories of what had happened on their mission together, he was stuck speculating about Gajeel. He'd been hurt again.

Maybe he should just be honest, tell Gajeel what was going on. He was taking him on a date. He wanted to see if he could be the one to help him through the dark place he was at. Sure, he couldn't fixGajeel. But he could try to help maybe. After all, wasn't this somewhat on him as well? If he'd never left him alone out in the words out of his own cowardice – whether of Gajeel or himself, honestly, he wasn't sure anymore – then Gajeel wouldn't have been ambushed. Or maybe they both would have been ambushed. But at least he wouldn't have been alone in that tortuous place. If he'd gone to look for him sooner, he wouldn't have spent so much time in Bianca's hands. He could have looked after him, made sure he was safe. There were a million ways he could have helped or stopped what had happened and he'd failed every one of them.

He should just be honest… but he was worried his honesty might just make everything worse. What if it made Gajeel mad and he just stormed out of the lounge? Then what would that do? He'd lock himself up again and probably refuse to have anything to do with Laxus. He'd drink himself away and let the darkness eat him alive. Would it hurt to leave him in the dark for just one night if it meant he was out and happy and not alone to whatever self-destructive behavior he was prone to.

Laxus sighed and Gajeel started, his ruby eyes widening at the serious look in Laxus's eyes as he straightened and crossed his arms, "Honestly?"

"Honestly." Gajeel's jaw clenched and he looked flighty, as if he'd dash away the moment Laxus said something he didn't like.

"Redfox, I… um… I…" he chickened out, "I'm worried… about you."

Gajeel blinked slowly as if he were still processing Laxus's words, "Worried… about me."

"Yeah, I mean, you're not yourself,"

"Yeah?" his voice raised a little, "and how should I be?"

"Sirs," their waiter's voice silenced them both as he glided back into their booth and placed their entrées down, "…Enjoy."

There was a tense silence as they both stared at their food, neither of them wanting to eat but also not wanting to continue the conversation. Just then, the stage lit up and the lights around the lounge dimmed. There was a quiet applause as a man walked out onto the stage, guitar in hand, and sat on a singular stool. Laxus could barely see him from where they sat in the balcony, but he could tell the suit he was wearing was white and he was wearing a fedora. No wonder Gajeel liked him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, how ya'll doin' tonight?" he hummed into the microphone with a voice that reminded him of the sound of gravel underfoot, "This first one is called Dearly Departed… I hope you enjoy,"

"You and I both know that the house is haunted…

you and I both know that the ghost is me…

Used to catch me in your bedsheets just a-rattling your chains…

Well back then baby, it didn't seem so strange…"

"So… this is Wilson Benson? Doesn't sound half bad," Laxus muttered into his drink, trying to alleviate some of the tension.

"Yeah," Gajeel sighed, picking up his fork and stabbing it into one of the appetizers. He popped the piece into his mouth and chewed absent-mindedly, his eyes truly sparkling like rubies in the dim light, "I like him because he's real… doesn't just sing about the good things. He makes music about stuff he's been through."

"Yeah? I'll have to pick up a record."

"You listen to records?"

"I know, it sounds dumb, but I like the added noise. I think it gives the music character… but everyone who listens to records says that,"

"You like what you like, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah… I suppose."

"In the midnight hour, you came alive…

I was looking for my crystal ball…

Busy trying to charm that snake…

When the sun came up we had no place to hide…

And you had to tell your friends that my things were fake…"

"It's crab, by the way," Gajeel mumbled, popping another piece of fish into his mouth.

"Crab, huh… I thought it would taste better,"

"Don't have expensive taste, Sparky?"

"Apparently not,"

"But even when one is dead and gone

It still takes two to make a house a home

Well I'm as lonesome as the catacombs,

I hear you call my name but no one's there

Except a ringing in the air…"

Gajeel was on his second drink and his eyes were swimming already. He'd barely eaten which was a feat for this man who could usually consume his own weight in one sitting. Laxus was wracking his mind for something to say. The tense small talk was killing him and at this point his stomach was in his shoes. He'd wanted to show Gajeel some fun not force him into a dinner that he hated. He sighed.

Mira's words were bouncing around in his head. His silence was intimidating. His stare was calloused. If all that was true than Gajeel was probably ready to leave already. Show some weakness…like what? He leaned back in his chair and stared at the stage. Gajeel finished the rest of his second drink, not even glancing in Laxus's direction, and poured himself another.

"You and I both know that the house is haunted…

Yeah you and I both know that the ghost is me…

You used to walk around screaming, all slamming all 'dem doors,

Well now I'm all grown up now and I don't scare easy no more…

Yeah you and I both know…"

A light applause followed the end of the song and then Wilson cued a small band to start behind him. He rasped into the microphone something about the title and Gajeel seemed to perk up immediately.

"This one of your favorites?" Laxus tried to hide his amusement at seeing the raven's mood suddenly change. Red eyes danced his direction.

"Yeah, it's called Jackie and Wilson," he smiled, tipping back the last of the amber liquid and setting his glass down a little too hard on the table, "It's pretty great."

"What's it about?" Laxus pressed, desperately trying to keep the lighter conversation going.

"It's about a guy in a bar seeing a woman and just kind of… I dunno… filling in the blanks of that person's life,"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

Gajeel paused as he thought for a moment and to Laxus's delight he actually took a bite of what was in front of him, "You know… like seeing someone and imagining what your life would be like if they were a part of it? Like… imagining how that other person would complete you if they were part of your life."

"Sounds… strange…" Laxus muttered as he took a bite of his food, "I don't think I've ever done that before."

"Really?" Gajeel smirked, "All that silent brooding you do all the time and you've never thought about something like that?"

"It might surprise you to know this but I'm usually listening to music while I'm silently brooding."

"And?" Gajeel raised a studded eyebrow at him as he ate.

"And… that's it."

"You don't… feel anything when you're listening to music? It's just this noise that exists in the background of your life?"

Laxus chuckled, "It's listening to music, there's nothing complicated about it."

"Of course,there's something complicated about it! It's music! It's a part of the maker's soul. It's emotional. It tells a story. You don't just listen to music, you feel music, you live music… it's like a gift someone poured their time and energy into," Gajeel's eyes were alight with passion as he spoke and for the first time it was he making eye contact with Laxus. Laxus loved it. His eyes sparkled with the same light from earlier, during their race. He looked so much more alive. He latched onto it and threw his mind to finding something to keep Gajeel in this place, away from the negative. Maybe he could salvage the night after all.

"How do you know? Are you a songwriter?" Laxus shot him a wry smile.

"I am, yes," Gajeel narrowed his eyes at the blonde, "Why?"

Laxus was actually a little surprised. He knew Gajeel could play and sing but he didn't know the man actually wrote his own music. He leaned back and looked the raven up and down. He was such a brutish man. He just didn't look the type.

"I don't believe you," he proclaimed and Gajeel clicked his teeth, "Prove it."

"I ain't gotta prove anything," Gajeel growled, popping another bite into his mouth, "I know what I can do."

"Oh, come on. Just give me one verse," Laxus pressed.

Gajeel scratched the back of his head for a moment as if he were considering it and then shook his head, his ruby eyes sparkling with challenge, "You gotta get me a lot more drunk if you're gonna try to get a word outta me. And you already promised Lily you wouldn't let me drink too much."

"I promised Lily I wouldn't bring you home drunk," Laxus grinned wickedly, sliding the crystal decanter towards his ebony friend, "So all I have to do is make sure you've sobered up before you get home."

Gajeel blinked a couple of times, obviously thinking deeply about something as Laxus leaned his chin against his knuckles, watching. Reluctantly, the red eyed Gajeel poured himself his fourth glass and downed it, a slight blush coming to his cheeks from the heat.

"Well if you insist," was all he muttered in response.

The rest of the night seemed to pass in a blur of whiskey, gritty music, and the glitter of ruby gemstone eyes. Even Laxus had drunken enough not to care about the bill as it made its way to his hands and the two barely made it out of the lounge without a stumble. Laxus was trying to remember the way Gajeel's nose would wrinkle when he scowled as he looked for words to say, memorize the way he'd run his tongue against his teeth when he was thinking, or the way the left side of his mouth would pull upwards in a sideways grin when he thought he was being clever. A few times he'd wanted to mention how much he liked seeing the glisten of raucous mirth in those blood-filled eyes but even through the muddle of alcohol he knew there was a reason he shouldn't, although he couldn't quite remember exactly why.

The chill of the air snapped a small semblance of reason into the two as they made their way through the town. Gajeel was admittedly quite drunk and Laxus would have felt bad for it if it weren't for how happy he seemed. His inhibitions were dropped and the Iron Dragon looked more like himself than he had in the past month. Every once in a while, he'd take a step too boldly and tottle to the side, only to catch himself before he'd actually fall, laughing about how Laxus was taking up too much of the sidewalk.

"Oi! Sparky! Mah house is thatway," Gajeel snickered when Laxus took a left instead of a right.

"I know… but I promisedLily I wouldn't bring you home drunk,"

"Pfft… so? He's probably asleep anyways,"

"T's only nine," Laxus snorted, "Sides, I ain't takin' any chances. Soon as you get kicked out I'm stuck wit yer sorry ass."

"Shit…" Gajeel tripped and gripped onto Laxus's arm. Laxus tried his hardest not to lose his footing but all in vain as the two men went tumbling to the ground, Laxus barely catching himself with his hand before falling into the grass and Gajeel tumbling into a heap beside him.

"Fuck… I really let you drink too much," Laxus laughed heartily, propping himself up on one arm and looking down at the Iron Dragon who was sprawled out in the grass, his disheveled hair fanning out around him, "Lily will be pissed."

"Ah, let 'im. He won't get off my ass lately, anyway," Gajeel huffed, his bleary gaze up at the clear sky above them, "Sides, he doesn't want me to come home."

"Why not?" Laxus would have been surprised at his own brazenness is his inhibitions hadn't left him a while ago. Now he seemed incapable of not saying anything that popped into his head.

"Cuz of my nightmares," Gajeel sighed, tucking his arms behind his head, "they keep us both awake, I s'pose."

"What're they about?"

"Depends. Sometimes it's Bianca. Sometimes it's Phantom. Used to just be Phantom. Recently it's been a bit of both."

"Phantom?"

"Phantom Lord. My old guild,"

"Shit, that's right. Sorry, I forget. Wasn't here for all that," Laxus sighed, also rolling to his back to cross his arms behind his head, "Mira tried to get me to come back but I was too far up mah own ass to do it."

Gajeel smirked, "Well at least you admit it."

The two were quiet for a moment, in their own thoughts. Laxus was trying to remember the last time he'd let himself drink this much. It had to have been years. He turned his gaze to Gajeel who seemed much less cheerful than just a little time before. His ruby eyes were distant and dark, as if they were remembering something from a long time ago.

"What was Phantom Lord like?"

Gajeel started at his words, turning his gaze to the blonde, "Why d'you wanna know?"

Laxus shrugged and turned to face him, stretching out on his side so he could give Gajeel his full attention, "Just curious."

"When are you ever just curious?" Gajeel regarded him suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

"Well if it's gonna piss you off, don't worry about it,"

Gajeel was quiet for a moment, his stare not wavering as if he were searching for a chink in the blonde's armor or maybe an ulterior motive. Finally, he sighed and also turned to face Laxus, propping himself up on his arm and lacing his fingers into the grass. He diverted his gaze to the ground, however, as if he were thinking hard about what he was going to say.

"I mean, it was a mercenary guild. What more is there to say?" he finally sighed at length, "I got jobs to take out certain people and I did it."

"What kind of people? Just anybody?"

"Nah… usually they had it coming. It was a lot of people into gangs or drug trafficking. Sometimes they were hits for other mercenary guilds."

"Were they all people you had to kill?"

"Nah, that was just the serious shit. Usually we were just roughing someone up or sending a message. Shit like what I did to Levy, or when I was sent to kidnap Lucy. It just kind of depended on what Jose wanted done,"

"How many people have you killed?"

"Enough."

"How cryptic." Laxus smirked, but it was clear Gajeel was uncomfortable, "I ain't takin' it to the Magic Council."

"I ain't worried about the Magic Council." Gajeel muttered, looking as if he were waiting to sink into the ground.

"I ain't gonna spread it around the guild, either." Laxus added, trying to catch Gajeel's ruby eyes. He was silent for a minute before rolling back onto his back with a heavy sigh.

"Are we counting everyoneor just… the big people." Gajeel slurred lowly, "Probably everyone."

Laxus just waited patiently as Gajeel closed his eyes and counted, occasionally furrowing his brow as he tried to remember.

"Sixty. Solidly," he breathed, not opening his eyes, "Maybe more… I'm not really sure."

"Holy shit," Laxus's eyes widened, "you remember all of them?"

"It ain't like some fucking movie. I don't remember all of 'em. I don't know all of their names or any shit like that. Maybe if I were like some of the other guys and did it because it was fun I'd be into that shit but… they were just jobs."

"You knew guys who killed people for fun?"

"Yeah… hated 'em too. They were fucking insane."

"So why did you do it, then? Why didn't you just leave?"

"All the hard questions tonight…" Gajeel whispered, still never opening his eyes, "There wasn't a way to just leave. That's the beauty of running a place like Jose did. You start the young ones out with petty crime. Stealing, breaking and entering, maybe assault or threats, shit that young, impressionable kids get inta. Then you tell 'em that they need to take it a step further for the guild. You get 'em to kill or fuck up someone up real bad. Then it's over their head. If they did it then why not do it again? Once you've killed yer first guy, you got a choice. If you want out, there's the door. But no one's savin' yer ass from the Magic Council. You wanna stay? Then ya better be ready to do it again. And when you got nowhere to go, ya only really ever see one choice. So ya have to either start likin' what yer doin', or like it from the start.

I never got behind killin'. Not even at my worst... that didn't mean I didn't like how scared everyone was of me. It was… addictive. Worse than alcohol or cigarettes or anything else I got into. The thrill when you walked inta a room and not a guy in there could even look at ya because they knew you could smell their fear. That shit was awesome and it was all I really knew."

Laxus was wordless. He wasn't sure what he had expected but it wasn't that speech.

"You miss that?" the words slipped out without Laxus's permission but Gajeel didn't seem upset by them. His lip quivered slightly before he finally opened his eyes.

"Nah… that shit scares the piss outta me now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean… I always told myself I wasn't as bad as some of the other guys because I didn't enjoy killing people… I did it because I had to but…" his breath stuttered a bit as he spoke and he clenched his fists, "I could have killed Levy or Lucy. I fucking… they were helpless… and I hate myself every time I think about it because I… I…"

Gajeel couldn't finish and honestly Laxus didn't need him to. He reached out and placed a hand on the Iron Dragon's arm, felt the way he stiffened beneath his touch and then slowly relaxed. He finally opened his eyes and they rolled slowly to gaze into Laxus's gold.

"You're not the same person you were," Laxus said softly, somehow not finding it in him to disrupt their contact.

"I don't think I've changed as much as you think I have,"

"You have," Laxus said with a sense of finality that Gajeel didn't have the determination to fight, "Come on. Let's get you home."

"I dunno… I'm still pretty drunk."

"Yeah? Well you ain't coming to my place so you better sober the hell up."

"Better than my place," Gajeel growled lowly and Laxus felt lightning rip down his spine. He felt every muscle in his body tense and he focused his gaze up at the stars. Did Gajeel wantto come home with him?

"You'd have to sleep on the floor," Laxus chuckled, trying to dismiss the feeling that suddenly began to pool in the pit of his stomach.

"I could sleep in yer bed,"

Another shock down Laxus's spine and the feeling in his stomach dropped lower, calling forth another dangerous emotion to his attention. He swallowed and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"And where the hell am I supposed to sleep?"

Laxus held his breath, trying to calm his head before any adverse effects were to take hold.

"The floor."

"Well I ain't really in the mood to do that. Besides, Lily will be worried."

"Lily ain't my keeper."

"Oh, shut the hell up," Laxus grunted, rolling to his knees and ignoring the swimming in his head as he pushed himself to his feet, "You still owe me that song, by the way. Don't think I've forgotten."

"Damn and here I thought talking about my violent, bloody past would have gotten your mind off of it," Gajeel laughed, if a bit sardonically.

"I think you want my mind off of it because you don't actually write songs," Laxus challenged but instead of rising to the occasion as Gajeel normally did, he just kind of stared up at Laxus from where he was laying on the ground, making no move to get up himself.

"It's not that I don't… it's that I haven't made anything good recently."

"Whatever you say," Laxus offered Gajeel his hand and Gajeel regarded it coldly, still making no motion to take it.

"How much do you need to hear for me to convince you?"

"Anything at this rate," Laxus's smile wavered. The shadows on Gajeel's face were back, but maybe it was just the time of night that was finally getting to him. The Iron Mage sighed, pushed himself up to his feet without Laxus's help, and stumbled in the general direction of his home. At first Laxus thought the mood swing had something to do with his relentless questioning, but suddenly Gajeel was humming quietly to himself. Laxus strode to catch up with him and the sound of Gajeel's voice on the cool wind was something he honestly found chilling.

"My legs are dangling off the edge

the ground and sky look the same to me

I think I've lost my mind again

And I'm gone, gone, gone.

My legs are dangling off the edge

My mind is no longer one of my friends,

If I could just let go of what keeps me here

I'll be gone…"

The silence when he'd finished left the air heavy. Laxus stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared down at the raven who was bent on keeping his eyes forward.

"Well… you got me," Laxus breathed, eyeing Gajeel closely, "I believe you."

"That was easy,"

Laxus chewed the inside of his cheek, the urge to ask him about why he'd made the song gnawing at him. But a lot of his drink had worn off and he was much more aware of how he'd been pressing Gajeel for information. If he kept pushing, he was sure that at this point he'd recede back into his shell again, especially since now the alcohol was wearing out of his system as well. Instead, Laxus decided to stay close. He walked side by side with Gajeel until they could see his house in the distance.

Maybe it was the fact that he knew the night was coming to an end on a sour note, but he suddenly felt ballsy. He actually walked Gajeel up to the porch and stood in front of the door with him, his arms limp as his sides as they both stared at the entrance. Gajeel, crossed his arms and scuffed his boot against the ground.

"Well… I'm not drunk."

"Good. Lily won't yell at either of us, then."

"Yeah."

Laxus took a breath and glanced down at the tanned man at his side, "Redfox?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you... for going with me tonight," he felt his stomach twist into a nervous knot as he spoke, "I had fun."

"Yeah? I didn't have a bad time either," Gajeel looked up at him and met his gaze.

"When you decide to start jogging again, let me know. You can show me your routine."

Gajeel smirked, "Yeah… you really need it."

Laxus reached out and placed his hand on Gajeel's hand. The Iron Slayer stiffened beneath his touch but didn't smack his hand away or yell.

"My door's open, by the way… if you need someone to talk to," Gajeel's eyes widened at his words and he stood silently as if not believing what Laxus was saying, "Anyway… goodnight."

"Uh… yeah… night…"

Laxus withdrew his hand and quietly walked off the porch. He could feel ruby eyes staring at him as he walked down the street, heading home. All the while Laxus couldn't get the nervous feeling out of his stomach. As he made it home, the tips of his fingers still tingled with the remembrance of touching black locks. He sat on the edge of his bed for a moment and just stared down at his hands, knowing very well it was going to be hard for him to sleep tonight.