Chapter 32:

Laxus spent most of the night at the Redfox house. It was quite deep into the early morning hours before he finally left, assured by Lily that he needn't stay. When he'd finally shambled home the exhaustion sunk him into his mattress as if he'd had bricks strapped to his feet. He fell into a fitful, worrisome sleep with dreams that haunted him into his waking. He kept seeing Gajeel, ruby eyes reflecting in the night, just as Laxus made it to the edge of the cliff. And right when he'd gone to reach out and pull him back he slipped away into a black abyss below.

Finally, he awoke to dawn's light tumbling through the slits of his curtain and he forced himself up out of bed, sleep still beguiling him to just fall back into the sheets. But he had worry in his heart and didn't want to squander time. He showered the last of his drowsiness away and dressed, heading straight for the shoddy house on the other end of town. Halfway there he realized he had forgotten his headphones and shrugged it off, not willing to turn back for them.

It felt like he was constantly wasting time.

He finally made it to the door and knocked, waiting impatiently for someone to answer. Lily greeted him, rubbing his eyes pitifully as he'd just woken. The Exceed padded into the room and tumbled back to the couch, inviting Laxus to make himself at home. Laxus nervously made his way to the kitchen, his mind flashing back to the only other time he'd been here, and busied himself searching for a kettle for tea or coffee. He took note of how bare the cupboards were, thinking maybe he could get Mira to help him get some groceries together for the pair…

That was… if she was still ok speaking to him…

He pushed the thought away as quickly as it surfaced and put some water on the oven. Lily was dozing by the time he came back out to the living room and he felt extremely out of place. Honestly, he wasn't really sure what he was doing here. What could he possibly do to help? But his worried mind had brought him here. He just needed to know Gajeel was safe.

He cast his eyes to the hall, hearing a sigh coming from one of the rooms. No doubt he was still asleep. After the night he'd had he was probably exhausted…

A creak echoed through the hall and a sound like a whine. Laxus furrowed his brow but stayed in place, not sure what to do. Should he go see if Gajeel was ok? Was it better to stay put and wait? His eyes caught a slight curl in the wallpaper and his heart dropped. It had been poorly patched, but the evidence of the last time Laxus had been down to Gajeel's room was still visible. He gritted his teeth.

Maybe it would be best just to stay in the living room.

The whistle from the kettle drew him back down to reality. He stepped back slowly and made his way to the stove, amber eyes fighting to keep him grounded to his task. There were no tea leaves, just some instant coffee, so Laxus set himself to searching cabinets for mugs. He was grabbing a couple from the top of a shelf when he heard the sounds of feet hitting the ground and stumbling out into the hall. He turned the corner just in time to see Gajeel making a frantic dash to the bathroom and slamming the door. He cast his eyes to Lily who'd also been woken by the raucous but he seemed much less alarmed than he was.

"His night terrors," he said simply and the sound coming from the bathroom suddenly made Laxus no longer in the mood for breakfast, even if it was just coffee.

"Should we do something?" Laxus muttered, but Lily only shook his head.

"It's best to just let it hash it out himself,"

"That hasn't been working very well recently, though, right?" he crossed his arms and Lily didn't meet his gaze, "What's the worst that could happen?"

"He thought I was attacking him once… that went about as well as you'd expect,"

Laxus cast his eyes to the hall again and let out a sigh. He took quiet steps and eased the door open. Gajeel was sitting on the floor, his hand over his eyes. At first glance, he could have just been resting accept for the trembling in his arms. Laxus turned his attention to a small linen closet and opened it, grabbing a towel and flipping on the warm water. When he glanced back over at Gajeel he was met with bloody eyes, wide and with pupils dilated in mild panic.

"You alright?" Laxus asked, wringing out the rag and kneeling down next to the Iron Dragon.

"Fine," he replied gruffly, taking it from him and pressing it into his face.

"Rough night?"

"You could say that…" he sighed, gripping the cloth and looking over at the blonde, "You look like hell yerself, ya know."

"Kept having nightmares," he sat down heavily next to Gajeel who watched him warily out of the corner of his eye, "What about you? Morning sickness?"

Gajeel snorted, a bit of humor touching his ruby eyes, and he replied with a sordid tone to his voice, "And here I thought I hid it so well."

"Boy or girl?" he smirked and Gajeel just shoved him roughly.

"What the hell are you doing over here so early, anyway?" Gajeel sighed, his humor leaving just as quickly as it had come, "Checking in?"

Laxus eyed him for a moment, noticing the way Gajeel was staring at his hands almost as if he wished they were something else, or maybe someone else's, "Actually… I was going to see if you'd go running with me today,"

"Running…" he hummed the word quietly, "I don't know."

"We could go to the guild instead," Laxus tried, watching the way the Iron Dragon seemed to just sink lower into the ground with the suggestion, "Juvia will be happy to see you."

Gajeel was silent, not even looking up at the blonde. He still had exhaustion hanging under his eyes and Laxus could tell he still didn't have any energy. He scratched the back of his head, trying to think of something to do.

"Well…" he sighed, pushing himself up, "I suppose it can't be helped."

Gajeel didn't make a move, just sat quietly on the tiled floor.

"Let's take a nap," Laxus held out his hand and Gajeel's eyes widened.

"What?"

"We're taking a nap… I'm still tired anyway," Laxus gripped his hand and pulled him up from the floor. Gajeel stumbled.

"Wait… I don't… shouldn't you…?"

Laxus pushed Gajeel onto the bed.

"T-together…?" red was creeping up the raven's neck and Laxus shrugged, "I mean… you can go… I'm just…"

Laxus leaned down so that his eyes were on the same level as Gajeel's, "Do you have any idea what time I got home last night? I could sleep for a week."

Laxus motioned for him to lay down and for some reason, Gajeel complied. He wasn't sure why he was letting this happen, but he was tired and as soon as he was on his blankets again he felt safe and calm. He started when he heard boots hitting the floor and then another body joined him.

"Scoot over,"

"Why don't you sleep on the couch," Gajeel muttered as Laxus eased down next to him.

"The last time I slept on your couch it killed my back," he mumbled and stretched out.

"Then go home," Gajeel growled, but his protest was half-assed. He felt strangely at ease. Laxus didn't have his hands on him, just lounged quietly beside him, hands behind his head and eyes half-closed. Their body heat was enough that together they didn't need to pull up blankets, which was fine by Gajeel. He wasn't comfortable with intimate contact right now. But a tight disquiet in his chest started to settle.

"Too late now… I'm already here."

What if Laxus tried to do something while he was asleep? The two of them had been through that before… unwanted affections. He kept his back to the Lightning Mage and refused to look at him. With his eyes shut he could almost pretend he wasn't there if it weren't for the steady sounds of him breathing behind him. Each breath seemed to make his heart misstep. Another presence so close… in his sleep he wouldn't be able to defend himself. He felt like the strings of his nerves were being wound tighter.

What if he couldn't get away? What if he couldn't fight his way out? Laxus was stronger than he was. He could overpower him in an instant.

He was laying on the table again. His wrists and legs bound down. He couldn't move, couldn't free himself by might or magic or screams. He was helpless. He felt like the world was spinning around him in madness. He couldn't be that helpless again… He'd rather die.

A sonorous inhale and a sigh startled him back to reality. He jolted up, his heart pounding as he fought to stay quiet. He turned and glanced over at the sleeping man beside him. Laxus hadn't moved an inch. His arms were still tucked behind his head and his eyes shut as if all of the tension in his body was released with the sound of his quiet breaths. He was asleep. He must not have been kidding when he'd told Gajeel he was exhausted.

He just watched him for a while. The steady inhale and exhale, his quiet snores as he slept, the way he looked so at peace. Gajeel was jealous. He hadn't felt that kind of comfort in a long time. Slowly, he lowered himself back down to the bed, this time facing the blonde in his bed. Laid out like this, Gajeel realized how much taller Laxus was than he. It must have been three or four inches. He propped himself up by laying his head on his arm and kept watching his face. He hadn't shaved this morning. Glittery gold hairs dotted his jawline and up his cheeks. He couldn't see his scar from this angle and it made him look so much younger, like he was fresh out of high school instead of a well-established mage. Gajeel wondered how old he himself looked. The scars on his body tended to make him seem older, more war-torn and haggard. He pictured the two of them walking down the streets of Magnolia together. They would probably make an odd pair...

An odd pair indeed.

Despite himself, he was relaxing. After a few minutes of watching Laxus sleep, he found it harder and harder to keep his eyes open and eventually he too finally dozed off.

Unbeknownst to either of the mages, Lily waited on the couch for the two to come into the living room. After a few minutes, he hopped off of the sofa and padded his way down the hall. He eased the door open and froze at the sight of the two. Laxus had turned slightly in his sleep and was facing the Iron Dragon. The two were out cold, snoring loudly as they fell deeper into sleep. He decided it would probably be best not to bother them and gently eased the door closed again as he retreated.

A quiet smile played on his features.

He hadn't seen Gajeel so calm in far too long.

…

It was a few hours before Laxus was awoken by the sounds of rummaging in the room. He opened an eye just in time to catch a glimpse of tanned skin and long black hair as Gajeel drew his shirt over his shoulders. A map of scars was quickly concealed and Laxus blinked the rest of the sleep from his eyes. His foot was numb and his arms were stiff. When he finally untangled himself, he felt sore but the grogginess was quickly melting away.

"Morning…" he mumbled, stretching out to take up more of the bed. Everything smelled like Gajeel. Iron and spice and anger permeated the fabric and it made Laxus want to roll over and fall back asleep. It was strange how docile it made him.

"Afternoon, you mean," Gajeel muttered, digging through his drawer for some shorts, "What size do you wear?"

Laxus sniffed, "Why?"

Gajeel stopped and looked at him over his shoulder, a bit of hesitation in his blood-red eyes, "I thought you wanted to go running?"

Laxus blinked once, twice, and then scrambled up from the bed, suddenly realizing that he shouldn't be feeling so at home in Gajeel's bed, "Yeah, I did."

"You're not going in that are you?" Gajeel asked critically and Laxus glanced down. He had on his usual: a pair of long jeans and a collared shirt.

He smiled weakly, "Probably not the best idea."

"What size?" he muttered again, pulling a pair of shorts out and throwing them onto the bed. He turned to his closet and started flipping through shirts.

"Extra large,"

"Hmph," was his only reply and he pulled a shabby-looking tee from the back of his closet and threw it at Laxus. It had a band name that he wasn't familiar with, a shock since he liked a wide variety of music, and slash marks as if some sort of monster had lashed at it.

"I don't have any shoes," he said coolly and Gajeel straightened, turning his eyes to a shelf at the top of his closet full of shoe boxes.

"What size?"

"You're kidding…" Laxus smirked, "There's no way we wear the same size."

"No but Juvia used to buy me shoes all the time because I like to run…" he grinned, remembering something as he spoke, "She wanted it to be a surprise so she didn't ask for my size and ended up just buying me five pairs."

"Why didn't she take them back?" honestly, it sounded like something the emotional woman would do.

"She told me I could give them away," he sighed, pulling down one of the boxes and throwing them over to him, "Try those. If you like them you can have them."

"Uh… yeah," Laxus muttered and started unbuttoning his shirt. Gajeel sat back down on the bed, his shoulders hunched, looking at him casually. When it was Mira and Juvia in his room the other day, he hadn't been bothered in the slightest that he was changing in front of them but suddenly he was extremely awkward. He moved quickly, fumbling over some of the buttons as he went, when he felt the weight on the bed shift and froze. Gajeel had stood and was making his way around to the blonde.

"Nervous?" he said so quietly that Laxus took a moment to register the word. With an easy flick he undid the button at his sternum, then the next, and the next, until his hands were at his navel. Laxus's heart was racing and his mind was getting foggy. He was going to keep himself cool, though. Gajeel had made it clear he hadn't wanted anything and he wasn't going to do something that would drive him into a dark place again. Red eyes travelled swiftly up to meet his and he felt his throat start to dry. This wasn't good.

"You smell like Mira," he said quietly and Laxus felt his veins turn to ice.

"Jealous?" he managed just barely. He felt like Gajeel was gazing right through to his soul and it was driving him mad.

His eyes were predatory slits and in the muted light Laxus thought he could fall right in to the malice swimming there, "It pisses me off."

He felt like he couldn't breathe, "It pissed me off too."

"Then why did you do it?" he felt like he was telling his lover he'd cheated on them, but he really had nothing to be ashamed of. He and Gajeel weren't anything. He shouldn't have to defend his actions in the slightest… so why did he feel he had to?

"You're not the only one who does stupid shit when they're mad," he breathed, "…It's not a good excuse…"

He broke his furious contact suddenly and Laxus felt cold as he retracted his hands. On impulse, he reached out to stop him and this time it was Gajeel's turn to freeze.

"I'm sorry," Laxus said as calmly as he could. He felt two different heats creeping across his body, one that was starting from his neck and slowly trying to march up his cheeks to the tips of his ears, and another, completely different, slinking its way down from the base of his stomach. Gajeel's hands were shaking again and the look on his face was unsure. Laxus didn't want to scare him away so he tried his best to be still when Gajeel gripped the top of his collar and leaned close.

"You shouldn't be… it's not like…"

"Right…" Laxus felt like his heart was going to thump its way out of his ears, "but still."

Gajeel's face was incredibly close to his and he wanted to cross the distance but he couldn't, could he? He didn't have too much time to contemplate it, because Gajeel took the initiative. He tilted his head to the side and his lips brushed Laxus's gently, timidly, and then a second time with more force. Laxus's mind was swimming and he was being pulled into beautiful, refracting red eyes. Gajeel's tongue ran against his lips and he almost lost it, the entire time just telling his body that it needed to remain perfectly still. For the most part it obeyed, excluding an organ that was quickly making his pants too tight.

Gajeel pulled away leaving the blonde breathless. They just sat there for an impossibly long moment as if they both had to recover from such a simple thing. Laxus unconsciously brought his hand up to his lips, running the knuckle against his bottom lip as he remembered the touch of Gajeel's. Gajeel was just gazing at him with those intimidating, all-encapsulating ruby eyes. He almost looked like he was going to lean in to kiss him again and Laxus didn't know if he'd be able to keep his body still a second time; he was already fighting the urge to pull Gajeel close.

Gajeel finally diverted his gaze, "Sorry…"

"No, no… you're fine," Laxus felt like he was speaking too rapidly, he probably sounded too eager, "It's just… I thought you didn't…"

"I don't," Gajeel said sternly, more to himself than to Laxus, "I'm not into guys…"

"Right… me neither… usually…" he was fumbling around like a schoolboy the first time they're alone with a girl. He felt incredibly small in that moment and it irritated him.

"Usually?" Gajeel smirked a little half-heartedly.

"Mira tells me I'm bi…" Laxus babbled, feeling like he was talking too much and he desperately needed to stop, "But you know… labels…"

"Right… I guess…" he was gripping onto the hem of his shorts, obviously uncomfortable. His thoughts were elsewhere and it was obvious as he looked thoughtfully at the floor. His lips moved and he breathed words so quietly Laxus almost thought he heard, "…and not a single drop of whiskey…"

"Hmm?"

"Get dressed," Gajeel snapped, standing suddenly and heading for the door, "We'll go out when you're ready."

With that he slammed the door and Laxus was left sitting on the bed completely shaken, but somehow satisfied. If the slowness didn't kill him first, maybe this could work?