Chapter 38:

"You said what?" Mira fanned herself excitedly, her eyes alight from his words.

"I was in the moment," he admitted, taking a sip from his drink as heat started creeping up his neck just thinking about it.

He and Gajeel had ended up sleeping in the same bed that night and the next morning he'd awoken to Gajeel's body pressed close to his own and it was almost heavenly, the simple thing that it was. They'd spoken a little over breakfast about what exactly Gajeel had in mind and decided to head out Friday morning and spend the night Friday and Saturday and be home again Sunday evening. When asked what hotel they'd be staying at Gajeel refused to tell him, something about not wanting him to look it up beforehand. It would be a surprise. It had piqued Laxus's interest but the thought of it being some big reveal was amusing so he'd let it be.

After breakfast Gajeel had declared he needed to get some things for the trip and so they'd split up, Laxus deciding that it would probably be best for him to be prepared as well. Surprisingly, though, he'd thought a lot about Gajeel's apprehension the day prior. It was true, he hadn't had sex outside from their encounter together and that was far from a good memory for either party involved. Laxus didn't want their unofficial 'first time' to be anything like that.

He wrinkled his nose. Unofficial first time.

Mavis's sakes, he was such a kid.

"It's a shame people don't actually work that way," Mira sighed, resting her hand in her palm, "That was such a stirring thing to say."

"Eh? Why can't they?" he muttered. The waitress sashayed by with their food and set it down gently in front of them, making sure to give Laxus a wink when she told him to ask her if he needed anything, and then she flitted off again to the next table.

Mirajane smiled sweetly at him, giving him a look not too unlike a mother giving their child a heavy dose of reality, "Remember how it took a couple months for Gajeel to get out of his depression? And you even mentioned he still has bad days? It's the same thing, Laxus. Trauma… especially psychological… you can't just say nice words and make it go away. Honestly, he should probably see a specialist."

"He won't see a specialist," Laxus muttered. It wasn't like they'd actually had a conversation about it but if he wouldn't even talk to Wendy about it then he was fairly certain bringing up going to a psychologist would make for a fairly short conversation, "And I don't have months. I have, like, two days."

"What's happening in two days?" her brow furrowed slightly and he felt the blush finally break past his neck to his cheeks. Her eyes widened and she shot him a keen look, "Laxus… why didyou meet up with me today…?"

He felt like he was going to die from embarrassment, "Mirajane… don't get carried away…"

"Laxus...!" her voice was an excited whisper, "Do… do you need advice?"

He was starting to wish he could sink into his seat, "I said don't get carried away."

"Come to think of it… you really haven't had sex with another man before, have you?" her blue eyes were filled with mischief as she spoke, completely ignoring her food, "Unless you have and haven't told me…"

She eyed him pointedly and he pretended to shrug her off as he stuffed fried rice into his mouth. Mira let out an exasperated sigh and busied herself with her salad. He wasn't completely upset with her eagerness to help, it was what he'd met up with her for in the first place. He liked the relationship they'd fallen into as of late. She truly was like his younger sister, his partner in crime, and he sort of enjoyed it. She knew things about him that no one else did, not even the Thunder God Tribe. And as much as he enjoyed their company, he definitely hadn't slept with any of them, so really Mirajane was the best person to ask about his shortcomings in bed. Now all that was left was actually getting the balls to say it out loud.

But if she insisted on going to sex shops with him… he might actually die from the embarrassment.

If he were honest, he didn't really know where to start. He'd watched gay porn before, it wasn't like he didn't know where this would all end up. At some point, anal sex would be brought up; which he figured would happen he just didn't really know when or how… or who would be on bottom. He blinked at his food.

That was what Gajeel had meant by bottom.

He blushed and heard Mira laugh impishly, "Thinking about something dirty, Laxus?"

"No, I'm not!" he snapped a little too harshly and she laughed again, completely seeing through him.

She leaned onto her wrist and waved at him with her fork, "Don't be so shy, Laxus. It's just natural to want to be with someone you love."

"Yeah, well… I just…" he sighed agitatedly and refused to look at her through the embarrassment etched across his face, "I want to do things right for once."

She looked at him steadily, then, as if she were actually considering his words, "You're serious?"

"Well, yeah…" he pulled at the collar of his shirt.

"Why? What are you so worried about?" she gave him an encouraging smile.

"Without going into too much detail," he avoided her gaze as he spoke and felt his stomach slowly turning to stone in his guy just remembering, "Remember Bianca?"

Any humor left in her face suddenly vanished and she became very serious, "Of course."

"You remember what her business was, right?"

She watched him keenly, a firm look on her face, "Laxus… what happened?"

"I don't know how much Gajeel wants people to know… and it ain't exactly something I want to talk about either," he muttered, already feeling like he'd said too much.

"You're worrying me, Laxus," Mira muttered quietly, "That woman… she was into human trafficking and sexual deviancy…"

He didn't look up at her, just stuffed a mouthful of rice into his mouth.

"Was it not consensual?" her voice was soft and he could feel her mood quickly changing from concerned to agitated, "What happened, Laxus."

"It was nobody's fault but hers," he muttered and Mira seemed to quiet some, "We can talk about it some other time, but not now."

She was motionless for a while, just studying him, when she finally reached across the table and put her hand on his, "You're a strong person."

He met her eyes and could see tears gathering on the lip of her eyelid. He moved his hand from hers, "And here I was worried about you gushing too much when I was the one who ruined lunch."

She smiled at him, a bit of wickedness in her eyes, "I wouldn't have ruined our lunch."

"Of course not, Mira. You're the picture of perfection," he said backhandedly.

"You didn't have to say it out loud," she smiled, pretending to take his words at face value. Her smile faded again as she thought to herself, "Well… if you reallywant good advice, I can't give it to you."

"Eh?" he looked up at her, surprised, "That's a lot coming from you."

"I am not a gay man, Laxus," she waved at him dismissively, "But you're in luck. I know someone we can talk to."

"…yeah? And who is that?" he raised his eyebrow, worried about how many people she was about to get involved in his escapade.

She motioned towards the register and started summoning her mind-link magic, "Just go pay for our food."

"I was hoping to keep this quiet, still, Mirajane," he growled but she just waved him away, already chattering to someone across Magnolia. He reluctantly did as she said, paid their bill, politely turned down the waitress who'd been hitting on him, and made his way back to the table. By the time he got there she was already getting up to head towards the door and he – if a bit grudgingly – followed.

"So… do you know what he's into?" she smirked over at him as they walked and Laxus flinched at her words, thinking she was talking fartoo loudly for the public streets of Magnolia.

"What do you mean?" he muttered.

"What gets his engine going?" she laughed at his embarrassment, "You know, what turns him on? Gets him hard?"

"I get it, Mira," he growled through gritted teeth and she laughed all the harder, "I don't know."

"You don't know anything?" she persisted, "Did the jacket work?"

"Yes," he replied tensely.

"Well, there's that," she smiled over at him, "So he likes leather? Are we going clothes shopping?"

"Probably not," he sighed at her.

"But we are going to a few adult stores, aren't we?" she grinned at him wickedly and he felt himself blush at her words again.

"I don't think I need your help with that," he forced past gritted teeth only to feel her patting his arm.

"Oh, don't worry, you will," she said cryptically and steered him towards a neighborhood that was starting to look more and more familiar. Actually, this place wasn't too far from his own house. He looked around.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Freed's house," she smiled at him and sure enough he saw the familiar siding come into view.

"Why?"

Mira looked at him critically, "Laxus… you do know that Freed is gay, don't you?"

He looked at her blankly and she let out a tired sigh, "He never brought it up?"

"I pity Gajeel. You are the densest man I've ever met in my life," she knocked on his door rapidly, "This is going to be a long conversation."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he bristled at her words but the sound of a latch made him settle. Freed crossed his arms in the doorway and glared at Laxus, "What?"

"You're bisexual?" he narrowed his eyes and looked Laxus up and down, "Since when?"

Laxus crossed his arms, "What kind of a question is that?"

Mira stepped backwards as Freed advanced towards Laxus, his expression not quite cross but definitely not friendly.

"I've been hitting on you for years, Laxus Dreyar. You never even looked my way!" he got up into Laxus's face to the point he leaned back slightly, eyes wide that the emerald-haired Freed could be so angry with him.

"I mean…" Laxus looked to Mira for help but she just smiled, "Mavis's sakes, you're my teammate. We're like brothers. We've know each other for years."

"So, even if you hadrealized I was hitting on you, there was never any chance?" he seemed to deflate slightly and Laxus didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry?" he offered but Freed just turned on his heel, throwing his long green hair over his shoulder at him and hitting him in the chest.

"Save it! I don't need your pity," he huffed dramatically and headed inside.

"Guess that's what Bix and Ever meant by he'd be pissed," Mirajane placed her finger over her mouth to signal him to hush but it was too late. He heard Freed scream from somewhere in the house.

"All of the Thunder God Tribe knew except me?!"

"If it makes ya feel any better, it's just been recent…" he paused while stepping across the threshold, "Well except for Bix. He probably knew even before I did."

"Of course Bickslow would know!" Freed raged from further in the house, "But why didn't he tell me,"

"I'm sorry you're having a crisis, Freed," Mira interjected, pushing past Laxus's hesitance, "But he did come to ask for your help."

Laxus followed her in, his eyes immediately falling on the two couches in the living area. Both had floral patterns and matched his curtains. The rug was lush and the wooden furniture was lavish and well made with intricate carvings you'd expect to see in a mansion not a three-bedroom house. Bickslow was right, after all, his place was gaudy. And now that Laxus was aware Freed was gay, it was painfully obvious. He'd always been touchy, and even touchier when Laxus was involved. He was always making over him to the point of extremes but Laxus had always just chalked it up to being who he was as a person, or maybe he felt obligated because he was the son of the guildmaster. After all, he'd been that way ever since they were young…

"Yes, yes, I know!" Freed muttered from the kitchen. Mira took a seat at one of the couches and Laxus sat across from her, leaving the coffee table to separate them. It had a fogged glass window and through it Laxus could make out exuberant colors from the coffee table books Freed kept. The one he currently had on display was about script magic. Laxus stayed silent and glanced about the room, eyeing some pictures of the Thunder God Tribe that he kept on the mantle above a quiet fireplace. One of him and Freed stuck out to him and he felt incredibly stupid for never realizing just how much Freed had it for him. He really was dense.

Freed glided into the room with a tea set. It had to have been some sort of expensive china. He poured a couple of cups of green tea and handed them out, never once looking Laxus in the face although he could see a slight blush on his cheeks, whether from anger or embarrassment it was hard telling. He finally took up post next to Mirajane, crossing his ankle over his knee as he sunk into the seat, a much more relaxed pose than his usual straight-backed posture.

"You never actually told me what you two wanted to talk to me about, Mirajane," Freed tutted, stirring his tea furiously, "Just that it involved Laxus's sexuality."

Mira glanced over at Laxus and smiled, "Well, tell him Laxus."

Freed finally looked up at him, blue eyes more curious than agitated or hurt. Laxus glanced over at Mira who made no move to help him. He had to explain this all himself? He sighed, already regretting his decision to get Mira involved and follow her out this far. But it was too late to back out now, and honestly, he needed to know more than he did currently. He fidgeted with his cup a little bit before finally getting the nerve to start talking.

He took a breath and jumped, "I'm seeing someone and… I don't actually know how to have sex… with him."

Freed's eyes widened and Mira smiled, "Graceful."

"And you're here to… what…? Get pointers?" Freed looked over at Mira for confirmation and she just gave him one of her salacious grins, "You're kidding."

He looked back at Laxus who shrugged in return. Freed chuckled darkly.

"I finally find out the man I've been crushing on is bi and he asks me for advice on how to have sex with someone else," he slumped a little more in his seat, "This is the worst day of my life."

Laxus felt extremely awkward. He crossed and uncrossed his legs, still not taking a sip of the tea that Freed had given him. He was honestly starting to feel bad. How could he have gone so many years without realizing what was going on? But it wasn't exactly like he could change his feelings now. First Mira and now Freed… was he going to piss anyone else off with his relationship with Gajeel?

Mira patted Freed on the leg and smiled, saying something about how it wasn't his fault Laxus was so thick-headed.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Laxus hissed over at her and she looked at him innocently.

"Me? Of course not," but when Freed wasn't looking he could see the smirk in her eyes. The total gossip, she was definitely enjoying this.

"Well, you decided to put your faith in me so I won't let you down," Freed straightened and Mira grinned.

"That's the spirit," she encouraged him and he took a sip of his tea, invigorated.

"So… how far have you two gone, exactly?" Freed asked blatantly and Laxus opened his mouth and then shut it again, not quite sure how to answer. Mira studied him for a moment.

"You've gotten past kissing, haven't you?" she offered, coaxing him forward.

He felt unbearably hot in the small room, "Yes."

She smiled a bit more, "Heavy petting?"

"You're so direct, Mira," Freed fanned himself, his mind in obvious places that only exacerbated Laxus's embarrassment.

"I got that down," Laxus muttered, feeling as if his humiliation would swallow him alive, "It's mostly just the main event I'm worried about,"

Freed watched him and took pity on him, realizing how hard it was for the Thunder God to admit this all out loud, "What has you so worried? Surely you can figure out most of this with your partner? They should kind of know what they like and dislike."

Laxus didn't respond but it didn't seem like Freed needed much assistance in figuring out the problem.

"He's straight, or he wasstraight, am I right?" Freed rubbed his temples, "But still…?"

Mira was staring hard into Laxus. Freed was asking the questions she hadn't known to and it only raised more red flags to her, the only difference was that she actually know who they were talking about was Gajeel. Laxus sighed, resigned, and Freed stopped his contemplation. He could tell Laxus was about to drop something heavy and he glanced over at Mira for confirmation.

"Who is it?" he asked slowly, as if he weren't actually sure he wanted to know.

"I swear to everything on Earthland, you two, what I'm going to tell you today doesn't leave this room," Laxus snapped and the two waited quietly in response, "The other guy is Gajeel."

Freed stood up, shock, anger and disbelief clear on his face, "What?! No!" he looked at Mira.

"It's Gajeel," she smiled.

Freed looked from Laxus to Mira and then finally sank back down into his seat, "I… just… I never pegged him for that kind of… person."

"Yeah, well, neither did he," Laxus snorted just a tad ironically.

Freed's lip tugged up in the corner, "Look at you… turning a straight man…"

"Well… it was definitely an accident," Laxus sighed, staring down at his cup,

"Wait… what?" Freed piped up, stopping him, "I'm confused. Start from the beginning."

Laxus didn't move his eyes from his tea, "Freed, do you remember the mission Gajeel went on a couple of months ago? The one that the Magic Council got involved in?"

"Uh… yeah…"

"How much do you know?" Laxus glanced up and saw Freed shake his head, "Gajeel killed a woman named Bianca. She was the head of a sex trafficking ring… and she'd kidnapped him. That's why he was gone for three weeks."

Freed's eyes widened and the color left his face, "She… kidnapped… Gajeel? And he killedher?"

"Her and everyone in the warehouse that worked for her," Laxus kept his aqua gaze as he spoke, "And that wasn't the first time we'd run into her."

"We?" Freed pressed.

"Yeah… she was after me, too," Laxus swallowed harder than he really should have, but the remembrance of the last time he'd seen her, a woman with reptilian eyes and black tongue that slipped past sharp teeth, suddenly had his palms sweating as he held his cup. He took a steadying breath, "The first time we'd run into her was almost a year ago now, back when we'd both happened to take two jobs that overlapped with shit she was into. Gajeel was trying to track down kids that had gone missing and I was investigating thefts in the area involving potion shops. Turns out she was behind both and was masquerading in one of the nearby towns as a doctor to pick up kids who didn't have anywhere to go."

"I don't understand, what does any of this have to do with your current problem?" Freed started but a quick look from Mira hushed him.

"Mira's been trying to get this out of me for a while," Laxus tried to be a little light-hearted but he fell short of his goal. He thumbed at the side of his glass, "Something a lot of people don't know, or Ididn't at least, is I guess Dragon Slayers go into heat like the dragons did back when they ruled Fiore. Gajeel and Natsu go through it and Wendy will when she's old enough, but I never did because I'm not a first-generation Dragon Slayer, but only a Slayer because of the lacrima Gramps infused in me when I was a kid. Bianca somehow got her hands on the information and made a potion that could… induce it."

When he looked up again both Freed and Mira were quiet with worried expressions plastered across their faces.

"It was awful," he scratched at the back of his neck, his stomach had started to feel sick remembering it all but he powered through, "Can't believe it's something Gajeel and Natus deal with every year."

"She made you…?" Mira's blue eyes were horrified.

"Didn't have to," he pulled up his shirt as and glanced down at his scar. A healer had helped with the wound but after an entire night of bleeding she hadn't been able to help the skin that had already started to heal by itself. It was jagged and rough, but a light scar still existed as proof of the encounter, "She made it so it could just soak into the skin. As a test run she decided to throw the potion bottle at me…"

"Master Makarov had said that you'd tried to kill Gajeel," Mira murmured, "That a potion made you think he was an enemy…?"

"Gajeel told him that… told us both that… I didn't actually remember what happened until later," he left out the part that Bianca had given him something that jogged his memory, figuring it was probably best they didn't know. He was having a hard time meeting their gaze as he continued, "I think he was trying to protect me since the Magic Council was involved."

"What happened?" Mira pressed but her voice was quiet, not ready to hear what he was going to say.

"What do you think, Mira? I didn't know what was happening to me and I didn't have any control over what I was doing. I was just pissed off and scared and felt like my skin was crawling…" he sighed bitterly, sinking deeper into the couch. His skin started to prickle as if a residual memory still lurked beneath his flesh. He shivered, "I just wanted it to end… and I remember I kept thinking it was Gajeel's fault… somehow…"

He lapsed into silence, the memories suddenly bubbling to the surface with a startling ferocity. He could almost see Gajeel lying on the floor, begging him to stop, red eyes full of pain. He felt his heart starting to drop from his ribcage, down to his stomach, and roll into his toes. Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. Hadn't Gajeel been through enough? He didn't really deserve this chance he was given from the Iron Mage. He should just back out now before he got hurt again… since that was all Laxus was good for… hurting him…

"I… had no idea…" Mira's voice broke through his swirling thoughts and he tried to center himself again, focus on his feet on the ground and his weight in the seat, remember why exactly he was here, "And you still want to be in a relationship with him?"

"After all that… how do you not just remember the bad things? Doesn't he… bring up bad memories?" Freed's voice was just above a whisper, as if he couldn't believe the words coming from his mouth.

"I don't think of any of that when I'm alone with him…" Laxus spoke quietly and stared at his own reflection in his now-cold tea, "…I think he's amazing. I put him through hell so many times and he didn't abandon me even when I wouldn't have blamed him. That night he could have left me and run, but he didn't. When my Dragon Instincts were driving me insane he taught me how to use them when he didn't have to… And Bianca would have killed me if he hadn't come back to look for me. It's strange because he thinks I saved his life but actually he's saved mine. And after everythingthat's happened, I asked him to give us a shot because I thought I might like him. He could have said no, right? It would have been easier. He could have settled down with anyone else, someone who didn't bring back those bad memories for him, but instead he chose to give it a try…

"I think I owe it to him, then, to try as hard as he is. I'm sure we can just fumble our way through it like everything else, but I kind of want this to maybe help him start over… make some goodmemories to finally start drowning out all the hell he's been through, you know? I don't know if it will do any good, but if Gajeel's willing to try then I want to give it my all, too."

He hadn't really meant for that to sound so rousing at the end but it just sort of came out. When he looked up at Mira and Freed they were both fighting tears.

"The way you're so ready to fight for him… it's just so…" Freed wiped at his eyes, "You're such an inspiration,"

"I'm impressed with you, Laxus…" Mira smiled and sniffled slightly, "I honestly do hope this works out the way you're wanting it to."

He sighed, feeling loads lighter than he had when he'd walked into Freed's house, "I do too."

They were silent for a few beats, each of them in their own thoughts for a moment, before Freed finally broke the silence.

"Well… I guess I'll be the one to ruin our profound conversation with talk about sex, then," he muttered, his face flushing red.

"Ah, yes… that," Laxus suddenly felt extremely awkward again, "I'm in your hands."

Freed fanned himself, "Don't say things like that to me…"

"Try to contain yourself, Freed," Mira smiled over at him and he huffed.

He took on a studious air to him when he finally started, "Well… I guess we'll just start with the basics, then."