Author's Note:

Figured ya'll were sick of non-laxeel chapters. So I worked hard to pump out two chapters this week. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 78:

Laxus felt like his heart was falling in on itself, not too unlike a log that has burned and sits waiting for one touch to make it crumble into ash and consume its own smoke. Confusion and guilt and a bitter marvel at his own hubris had settled into a somber storm beneath his diaphragm. Hot tar gripped at his ribcage, pulling incessant strings for him to just collapse.

"Is he usually this quiet?" Irena asked from her stop at the stove. She'd tried more than once to get him talking, asking reserved questions about how he was feeling, if he was hungry, and how was the salmon and edamame this morning?

"Only when he's been proven wrong," Davian murmured offhandedly, managing carefully the hand-bound book Laxus had discovered in his room just a couple short days prior. Laxus shot him a glare, but the Major wasn't paying him any mind, far too enrapture in his book to pay any attention to the brooding man leaning against the kitchen doorway with a massive dog at his feet.

Laxus growled as he stared at the glittering crystal sphere sitting in the middle of the counter alongside its new documentation. Mira and Juvia had ended up being the ones to find it. It hadn't taken long, actually Juvia seemed to know exactly what she was looking for. Laxus sort of wondered if she hadn't known about the lacrima all along, but she didn't seem sheepish when he spoke to her. She did make a comment he didn't feel the need to look too much into. Gajeel needs to let go of his past.

He had. Or Laxus thought he had, but he was discovering more and more that maybe he knew his lover a lot less than he previously thought.

The sudden thunk of the heavy tome hitting the granite made Laxus stiffen and he tried to ignore the feel of Davian's critical stare.

"He didn't tell me."

He glanced over at him and was met with a strangely stoic look, "I'm sure it just slipped his mind."

Laxus scoffed in reply and Davian raised a brow at him sharply.

"Traumatic experiences tend to color our judgment. At the end of the day, he's out of prison. Be satisfied with you happy ending."

Laxus narrowed his eyes at him and opened his mouth to bite something back but Irena had come over to them carrying two plates of potstickers. She slid one plate in front of Laxus and another to Davian who pushed it slightly to the side before continuing to rifle through pages, seemingly looking for something. Irena put her hands on her hips for a moment and pursed her lips.

"Are you going to eat?"

"After a while, darling."

"Is that an I'm-only-saying-that-to-distract-you, after a while or an I'm-actually-going-to-eat-in-a-minute, after a while?" she asked pointedly.

Davian didn't even glance up at her, "I don't eat tofu."

"Don't or won't?"

Davian ignored the question as he seemed to have found whatever it was he was looking for. He tapped at the page before meandering his way slowly across the room, muttering to himself as he did.

"I appreciate your attention, little heart," he said before walking past Irena and out of the room. Irena just huffed and crossed her arms as she stood at the island, "I come back and now he won't eat anything I cook."

"What an ass," Laxus he agreed, albeit halfheartedly, as he took a bite from one of the dumplings., "It's very good."

"At least I'm not the only one with good taste," she smirked.

They fell into fitful silence as they ate, broken only by the sounds of utensils clinking against porcelain and the tapping of Irena's shoe on the wood floor, and with Laxus purposely looking at his plate the entire time. He could hear the sound of Davian tromping back down the stairs, the sound of clinking, and he wondered what exactly he was up to. He returned with a few vials of different colors, each with something ranging from oily liquids to a pudding-thick white substance. Laxus wrinkled his nose at the smell of lavender, violet, and coconut as Davian began moving about the kitchen, reading as he went, placing pots of water to boil. Laxus picked up one of the vials of oil and turned it over in his hand. There was a label but the language, of course, he couldn't read.

"Be careful with that," Davian plucked the vial carefully from his hands, but not rudely, "We'd smell it for weeks."

"What is all of this?" Irena was turning over another vile, this one with dried lavender flowers inside, "Are you a witch now, too?"

Davian chuckled, "No. It's just a recipe for a simple tincture."

"What is it for?" Laxus asked flatly and Davian shrugged.

"A little of this and that. Benzoin oil to calm the nerves. Catnip to calm stress, anxiety and nervousness. Patchouli for grounding and balancing emotions. Violet for letting go of anger. Lavender to sooth and calm. Sandalwood oil to cool skin…"

"Mh," Laxus poked at his food, a twisting knot in his stomach suddenly dampening his appetite, "How thoughtful."

"I'm not completely heartless," there was a measured edge to those words and the silence that followed made Laxus feel like he was supposed to say something, to make an offer, but he desperately didn't want to. He cast his eyes down to the table.

He'd gotten there too late, as usual. He was always too late. And Davian had nearly pushed him over in his haste to get out of the interrogation room. The loud clamor that followed, the sound of Gajeel raging on the other side of the door, his pacing and the chink of chains as he snapped out of his restraints, and suddenly all of Laxus's fire had left him and he was staring at the door with wide eyes. That scent, goddamn him, it snuck into and clung to him. The feral feeling, the animality, he caught it on Davian as he was grabbed by the shoulder and bodily pushed back from the door. He could smell iron, as sharp as a honed blade and twice as fierce, and the familiar spice of something he'd been depraved of for a long time. His heart jumped to an alarming pace and for all he knew it could have been panic. Davian was talking to him but he had no concept of the words because the door was opening. The light from inside scattered across the floor and stopped at his feet. A silhouette cut blackened shadow equal parts soft and jagged, shallow and yet impossible not to drown in.

Gajeel was gazing at him as if he'd been surprised to find the Lightning Mage there. For a moment, he thought he must be invisible because Gajeel was still and quiet, his hands balled into tight fists. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip and then died. Laxus couldn't think of anything to say. There was something eerie about this situation, about a door between them and a torn apart room and a chameleon standing just a few short feet away. Laxus standing in a nondescript hall after searching for this man who was now just a few short feet away, within reaching distance, close enough to taste, to be impatient over, to crave, knowing he should have been here, could have been here, so much sooner but he hadn't been. It was cold dèjá vu and it had Laxus frozen in place, dread mixing with the warm scent of heat, hopelessly stoic in front of the man that needed him to move to him, with him, and not just stand there and stare.

Did Gajeel sense this abject fear in him or was he just as floored by this situation? A dark hue descended into his scarlet eyes and he dropped his gaze away. He smiled and it was a painful thing. He didn't show his teeth. His palms found their way into his pockets. He cleared his throat. His hand reflexively went to where his collar had been for so long and Laxus was critically aware of the way his fingertips were dragging down his throat in search for that familiar band to pick at and keep his fingers busy with. Of course, it wasn't there, and so he was left scratching at the stubble on his neck. The sound made Laxus's muscles tense.

"I'm sorry," Gajeel's voice was thick and he took a purposeful step from him, and then another. He turned his back and walked away with hands still dug deep into his pockets. Black hair was in disarray around his shoulders and down his back. There was a tense vacancy at Laxus's side where Davian had once been, now striding quickly after him with a cautious and questioning look back to Laxus.

A safe house. Gajeel had been taken to a safe house. And Laxus was here.

How does a year pass with no lessons learned? Wasn't it this same damnable fear and inaction that had started it all? He should have followed him. They should have walked side by side to the place Gajeel now was and Laxus should be with him. The guilt of it made his stomach pitch and his ribcage inch closer to his lungs. He could suffocate in dread, in shame, in his own worthlessness. He'd let him go again.

"Give me your palm,"

Laxus looked up at Davian, now uncorking one of his bottles. The earthy scent was pungent and a little spicy. When he didn't move Davian rolled his eyes, grabbed his hand, and let a single drop onto his palm. He pressed his thumb into it, made a small circle, and flicked his hand away. Laxus wrinkled his nose at his palm.

"What is that?"

"Patchouli oil," he said shortly, "to harmonize your wretched mood."

Laxus clicked his teeth, "Like magic oil will do that."

"Not magic. Simple herbalism."

"Why so pensive, love?" Irena was leaning against the island. Some of her fiery curls had managed to escape her bandana and were laying gently against her forehead. Her eyes were soft and concerned.

"His boyfriend is out of jail and he's here," Davian had taken a break from his oil mixing and was standing with his arms crossed, eyes trailing down her shoulder.

"Well, that's an easy fix, isn't it?" she said shyly, her lip twitching as she tried not to smile. She glanced over at Davian, "Shouldn't you be a little more encouraging?"

Davian glanced over at Laxus and his brow raised sharply, "That would make me a hypocrite."

"How so?" Laxus dared to ask and the way Davian regarded him made him regret the question.

"Shall I, the creature with a crippling fear of losing control and in the process wound someone I care about, encourage another person with that same crippling fear to put himself into a position where he could, possibly, lose control and wound someone he cares about?" he was staring directly into Laxus's face, as startlingly sincere as he was cutting in reply, and Laxus found himself looking back down to his plate, "I don't see the harm."

"I got it," Laxus snapped.

"What is it with men and doing stupid things to protect the people they care about?" Irena said scathingly, "Maybe consider what he wants. Does boyfriend want to see him?"

"I'm sure he does," Davian replied in an even tone.

"Then maybe you should go see him . I'm sure whoever boyfriend is can handle himself against... whatever your issue is," Irena put her hands on her hips and she smiled at him gently, "Go on. Just walk up, be all charming, and sweep him off his feet. A regular white knight. Don't men like that sort of thing?"

"Only the pretentious ones," Laxus muttered, "Besides, I'm not a white knight and he hates being swept off his feet."

"Being swept off ones feet is a little archaic, isn't it?" Davian was mixing again, pouring his oils into warmed beeswax. The smell of it almost made Laxus dizzy, "At any rate, one should be able to handle his own, I should think. The man nearly took down a fire demon, after all."

"And I almost killed a fire demon," Laxus growled.

"But you didn't. No one stopped you except for yourself. There must be something said for your restraint."

"It should have never gotten that far."

"And yet, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have hesitated," he capped off the salve in a large, glass container, "Well... I suppose I'll be off, then."

Laxus's stomach twisted.

Davian raised his eyebrow at him, "You're welcome to join me."

Laxus grimaced, "Not sure that's a good idea."

"Well, I certainly won't be challenging his dominance. It should be nothing to stay relatively unnoticed. He's bound to be preoccupied, at any rate..." he placed the still hot jar in front of him and let his glasses slide down his nose enough to gaze at him overtop them. His eyes colored yellow, the pupils narrowed, "Unless you'd prefer to go alone?"

Laxus glared at Davian and then the jar. He could smell the herbs even though it was sealed, strong enough even to sting his nose. His magical energy snapped through him nervously and he found himself gritting his teeth, trepidation slowly mixing into his agitation, cooling his temper. The entire time Davian just watched him silently and waited for his response. Laxus knew he took too long before he finally clicked his teeth and snatched the jar from the table. Maybe that was why Davian followed him out the door and into the calm night, only offering a too-sweet "We'll be back shortly, dear" to Irena back in the kitchen.

Even disembarking from the porch, Laxus could hear the beat and fondle of the waves against the shore, smell the saline as it dampened the air. The anxiety made the air teem with the same fervor as cicadas in midsummer, desperate to spread and love before their time was suddenly over. It didn't take much to realize why. The world was coated in silver from the Hare Moon as it hung low and languid over the horizon, barely dusting the tops of the large mansions. It was enrapturing and Laxus felt his eyes drawn to its guiding light as they walked, memorizing the darker spots, the breathtaking beauty that stilled the night and swallowed the stars that shivered too closely around it. He wished it made him calm.

"T's a full moon tonight," he murmured idly, more to break the silence than anything. He tore his eyes from the heavens and down towards the road. The wind had patterned the cobblestones with white sand that caught in the cracks and scattered beneath his feet. His mouth tasted bitter when he heard the grit beneath his boots cutting the silence. He hoped talking might chase it away.

"Yes... good for cleansing and purging," Davian hummed, far more at ease than the blonde beside him. His shoulders had slipped back as he walked and his edges seemed softer, like the salt of the air had grated down his hard lines, "It's a shame I didn't realize it sooner. We could have sent you out picking marigolds and rosemary for a nice bath to help relieve some of your PTSD symptoms."

"I don't have PTSD," Laxus snarled at him.

"Right, of course. Damiana, sage and rose, then."

"And what will that do, Master Shaman? Make my hair grow faster?" skepticism dripped from his words as he glared over at Davian. A mischievous smile broke across the Major's face despite his obvious try at hiding it. Laxus narrowed his eyes, "What?"

"An unfair joke. Forget I said anything."

Laxus didn't try to hide his annoyance, "What does the bath do, Davian?"

He chuckled slightly, an impish glint catching in his shifting eyes, "It's a sensuous bath... for the bedroom."

Laxus, despite himself, smirked, "Fuck off."

"Add a splash of neroli oil to help against impotence."

"That is definitely not my problem."

"Yes, you're nervous, I know. Can't say I blame you," Davian's smile faded slightly, "But you'll be fine."

"So, was that your grand scheme? Make a balm to trick me into walking with you to the safe house?" Laxus rolled the jar between his hands, the substance now cooled and turning white. He could still smell the spice of the patchouli.

"Trick is such a strong word... I merely gave you an excuse."

"Mm... right."

"I do understand your fears," Davian's voice softened, "Although, I think they're not correctly contextualized in this instance."

"What makes you say that?"

"For fear of being too blunt? I think he's more apt to hurt you than you are to him. From the sound of it, the venom makes you more, um... pliant? Susceptible? Ah..." he waved his hand back and forth as he searched for his word, "Acquiescent? Biddable. It makes you biddable."

"Compliant?"

" Compliant . Yes. Thank you."

"Great... that doesn't make me feel better."

"You certainly don't have to stay," Davian turned down a side street, steering them back towards the sea, "Or even go in. I don't mind to give him the tincture. I sort of figured you'd have a hard time sleeping tonight if you weren't sure he was safe. At the very least you can take a look around. Make sure everything looks sound."

"The fact you'd consider something like that sort of surprises me."

"I do like to help people. I just... tend to be a tad cruel about it, I suppose."

"You? Cruel? Never."

"This is exactly why I'm not nice. No appreciation for my efforts at all. I thought I was quite clever."

"I'm sure you did..."

Laxus could hear the crashing of waves again when they finally stopped. They had walked quite a way and he was starting to be chilled by the persistent breeze cutting its way through the tall reeds and across the villa they now stood before. It was small, probably no more than two bedrooms, with a grey terra-cotta roof. It was decently removed from the rest of the neighborhood and Laxus could see the ocean, feel the vibration of it shaking the shifting sand beneath his feet. It was quaint and secluded, the sort of thing newlyweds would enjoy on a honeymoon or possibly some place an aging couple would choose to spend their golden years. The flowerbeds were tended. A gently sloping, hand-placed stone path meandered lazily up to the porch. There were palms and tall beach grasses and so much fine, white sand Laxus was sure he'd track it with him even if he walked inside. The shutters looked like they were made from beechwood and he could see that the curtains inside were a soft shade of seafoam green.

He'd never been more intimidated by a house in his life.

He felt ridiculous and the more he stared at the darkened windows the more he thought of Gajeel and the way everything had started. There had been so much negative, so much hurt, so much working to get where they were. The scent that drove him crazy and he couldn't place, had him practically falling over himself every time he was near the Iron Dragon, forcing him into positions he'd plead not to be in. It hadn't just been when Bianca had hit him with the potion, had it? There was when Laxus had walked a drunk Gajeel home, when he'd pushed the raven against the wall and ignored pleas for to stop, he didn't want this. The first time at the onsen when Gajeel had fallen into the water and he hadn't been able to keep his hands from him, hadn't been able to stop himself from pulling him close in the hot water, how he'd nearly taken him despite the approaching footsteps and raukous voices. And then when he'd been alone with him in the cell, being enraptured by the smell of him and walking knowingly and whole-heartedly into that trap.

Did he want to do this again? Could he handle it? What would happen if Gajeel begged him to stop and he couldn't? His insides churned with that thought, boiled with his guilt and self-loathing that he thought had been thoroughly stamped out over a year ago. He'd claimed not to be an animal, and he had believed it to be true, but now that he was in front of this house he felt every inch of him was entirely too large, too driven by instinct, and with his damaging size alone he would crash through the house like it was damp paper. He was a bumbling giant, destructive even when he desperately didn't want to be. And now, he felt immensely stupid. What in the hell was he doing here?

It was then that he noticed Davian waiting for him patiently with hands clasped behind his back.

"Sorry," Laxus started and found he couldn't finish. He didn't know what he was sorry for, just that he was, and that his heart was beating too fast, "Dammit… I'm such a kid."

"I'm not sure there's anything kiddish about this," he replied calmly.

Laxus snorted, "This is ridiculous."

"Which part? Just so I'm clear."

"I'm fucking standing out here terrified of having sex with my boyfriend because I might hurt him… it's ridiculous. Goddammit, why am I so fucking nervous?" he was starting to get angry. Electricity was racing through his veins, making him want to pace but he refused to… for now at least.

"Is that what you're scared of? Having sex?" Davian was clearly leading him, there was no doubt about it, but Laxus still stewing in his misery, fell right into it. He scuffed his boot heel against the ground. Sand scattered across the stone pathway.

"You know what I'm scared of."

"Yes, I do," Davian stated gently, "You're scared of losing control, of a moment of weakness that could harm someone you care about... neither of which, might I point out, is ridiculous. But you do have some control. You are here of your own free will. And you can leave."

"You made me come," Laxus bristled but couldn't meet Davian's eyes. He faltered beneath that even, unperturbed stare and his anger quickly melted back into the twisting knot of his stomach.

"It's quite alright, you can use me as an excuse. I made you come here despite your effort to avoid this place. But you didn't put up much of a fight which menas, I think, that you want to be here... Unless, you want to go back to the manor?"

Laxus hesitated and finally shook his head, "No. I don't want to go to the manor."

"Which is also perfectly fine," Davian took a step back, "and the only one who will be controlling where you stay tonight, is you. You have the power to go wherever you choose whenever you choose. So, where would you like to be?"

"I know what you're trying to do, Davian," Laxus grumbled and still refused to meet his eyes, "It's not working."

"What a shame. And we came all this way," another step back. He was halfway down the pathway now, hands still clasped tightly behind his back, body slanted just the smallest bit towards Laxus as he waited patiently for him to follow, "I suppose I'll just have to deliver the tincture without you."

"Davian..."

"You'll have to bring it to me," he was still retreating slowly, "and you might want to hurry. I would like to leave soon."

Laxus shot him an unamused look.

"Come, come, we don't have all night."

"I'm starting to think maybe you're the one who wants me out," Laxus muttered, stomping after him. Unsurprisingly, as soon as he got close Davian would back up towards the house, "Fucks sakes, Davian, stop it."

"You are holding yourself accountable for something that wasn't your fault, Laxus. You were a victim of your circumstance just as Mr. Redfox was. It is time for you to let go of your guilt and move on. This cycle will not break. Your other half will go through this every year. You can either cower from it or harmonize with it."

"Yeah? And what do you know?" Laxus snarled. A string of vibrant yellow arced off of him and struck the ground, "Why in the hell did you leave Irena? A fucking argument?"

"I broke her arm in four places, Laxus, and nearly shredded her other one because she accidentally cut herself while bringing groceries home," his face was stoic but his words were pieces of shattered glass, "When I say I understand your fear, I mean it. I convinced myself I would be fine living in a world where she was alive and ok if that meant she was safe, and I am. But she wasn't and I underestimated her stubbornness and tenacity and the point of saying that isn't for that pitiful look you're giving me. The point is you care for him and he cares for you and, Oros above, you're willing to brave corpses and blasted unknowns for this man then certainly you can brave your own disillusionment."

"Davian, I-"

He raised up a hand to stop him and took a steadying breath, "Stay if you like, or don't. Either way, the front door of the manor will remain unlocked. Neither I nor Irena will judge you for your choices... well, I'll make sure Irena is quiet about it, at any rate."

He walked past him and Laxus felt bad for the tension now cording the muscles of his neck. He clicked his teeth and watched him for a moment before finally working up the courage to call out to him. Davian stopped in his tracks and looked back at him, something bitter fighting not to work its way across his face.

"Thank you," Laxus sighed, "For helping us."

"Well, don't go talking too much about it," Davian muttered, suddenly refusing to meet his eyes, "It would be dreadful to have to file paperwork on all of this."