Chapter 80:

Iron.

Had you asked Laxus if he'd describe it before he would have told you it was a hard and terribly ascetic element. He would say it was only warm when driven to hot coals and tempered, only flexible and kind when it was hot enough to sear skin. He never would have told you that it could yield to a fingertip, that it could shiver and writhe. He wouldn't have said that the taste in his mouth was the way cotton candy felt, that when blanketing the rolling shoulders of the man he loved it was more entrancing than velvet, that he could run his hands across it and feel every dip and curve of the rolling ocean and see hills blanketed in wheat and undulating in a midsummer breeze. He wouldn't have told you that when the early morning sun hit it, it scattered like the explosion of a star across the bedroom and sent opalescent fractals of light across the walls and ceiling in the most dazzling display of the cosmos he'd ever dreamed to see. He wouldn't have told you that when his lightning reflected in its unblemished sheen, that it was more stunning than ravishing gold, polished silver, rare and glittering gemstones, a treasure that couldn't be held in one hand. It took the entire body.

Iron.

His body rose into it and it covered him. It was a dream he never wanted to wake from.

"Tell me how much you need me."

"I need you."

"Tell me."

"I need you... I need you..."

"Tell me how much."

Words. Words . What is language?

I don't remember what need is. I only know you.

"Gajeel... tell me..." his breath caught in his throat. He wanted to hear it again.

You.

Fingers played lightly in coarse, black strings. He pressed his lips to milk-white skin.

I need you like... I need you like...

"Gajeel..." he felt the moan down to his bones. He held shivering hips in his hands.

It's not enough to need you more than air, more than a heartbeat, more than magic.

"Gajeel..." he quaked like the blue flame of a candle.

It's not need. It's deeper. Deeper.

It's having my eyes open but my mind is pitch black, wishing I was blind to give it reason. It's having sand in my throat and salt in my lungs, burning and desiring death. It's being in a body that doesn't belong to you, that you hate, and begging for a new one...

"Gajeel...!"

...instead of blindness, you are light.

...instead of death, you are relief and cold water.

...instead of a new body, you are "I think you're perfect, you're beautiful. I love you."

"Ah...! Ga-…! Gajeel!"

I've always chased things I thought I needed. I ran from you.

Nails dug into his scales, upturning them in places, releasing slowly.

You are everything I never knew I needed.

"Gajeel?"

"Hm?"

"I didn't understand what you were saying."

What is language?

He licked his lips and started again.

"What does it feel like? I don't really remember."

Gajeel was drowning in the smell of sweat and amber. He was trying to focus on the way Laxus would shiver when he pressed into a bruise. He kept forgetting what he was doing when he heard him sigh like that .

"What?"

"Being in heat."

"Fire. And bugs."

"Poetic," the word caught in the base of his throat. Gajeel pressed his nose where it originated. Yes, stay right there.

"Mhmm..."

"Tell me."

"Why?"

"I'm curious."

"You'll get me goin' again."

"So?"

"T's only been ten minutes."

"...Fine..."

A deep breath. Lungs flooded with crisp clean air. He could taste the emptiness like it was lodged in the backs of his molars. His mouth couldn't settle around it, this vacancy that needed filled. His thighs were sore and he choked on a whine as he turned on the water. The space in his mouth tasted like snow. It made his teeth hurt.

"Sh-Shit..." Gajeel hissed.

Warmth stirred up in his core and he leaned into the water. It felt like betrayal, like hiding evidence, but he needed to let him rest. The traces of him raced down his back, his chest, his hips. His eyes rolled back as the sultry warmth of amber, the soothe of honey, the full and rich intertwine of tobacco and vanilla, was chased away by the water.

It didn't matter.

It was there in the creases of his scales, beneath his claws. His hips still shivered with it, the sun-touched dew of it deep into his every part. He was possessed, was possessing. He didn't want it gone. Oh gods . He wanted to rub his face into it, drown in it, sear it into his nostrils.

He'd never smell anything again.

He needed to smell it again.

Let him rest.

"Gajeel?"

Just his name tumbling from that man's lips had his core melting. His skin was on fire. He was shivering in the shower, trying to douse the flames. It was painful not to move. It was maddening, the world tinted red like this. The demon in him wretchedlike he was bathing in holy water .

He held his breath, pressed his forehead to the tile and shut his eyes, but all that rested behind them was summer storms and the feel of a throat raw from screaming. Nails working underneath his scales, crying out. He glared at the tiles.

"What are you doing?"

"Cooling down."

An unamused look. A trail of lightning threatened at his side.

"That's what I'm here for."

He hated knives and Gajeel had ten of them. His arms and shoulders were striped with scarlet carnation, lines of it down his thighs. He did that. It was written in his flesh mine, this is mine. Mine. Mine. He's mine.

There was thunder in his chest. He didn't remember getting out of the shower but Laxus was grinning like he'd just gotten his way.

"M'sorry."

"Prove it."

"Go ahead."

"Hold on..."

"Come on, give it to me."

"I... Goddammit..."

"C'mon. I'm your picturesque virgin in a bar."

"Shaddup," Gajeel was settled between his thighs, trying not to laugh. Laxus could feel the way he held it in, pressed chest to chest like this, how is abs coiled and released. He must have been working hard at the prison because even now each ripple of muscle was well defined .

"Do I have a leather skirt on? I bet you went after a girl with a leather skirt."

"Ok, ya ready?"

"I'm ready."

"I wanna teach you about exorcism..." this licentious character, he even had the impish gleam in his eyes right. Laxus couldn't hide his smile of anticipation, "...and fuck the hell outta you."

"...please tell me you didn't really use that."

Gajeel's smile was all teeth.

Laxus snorted, " Damn , you're right. I can't beat that."

Laxus ran his eyes down the length of him, "I'm not gonna lie... that one surprised me."

"Hm?"

"It's just... you have armor... everywhere ."

A studded eyebrow rose, "Eh? Expect something else?"

Laxus shrugged and stumbled over his words slightly, "Well, I mean, lizards...? Don't have scales...? There?"

"Did you just call me...?" he stopped, humor coloring his face, "How in the hell do ya know what a lizard dick looks like?"

"I liked animals as a kid. Zoology books don't just conveniently leave out the reproduction parts just because there's a kid reading."

Gajeel narrowed his eyes at him and muttered out the side of his mouth, "Didn't take a book fer me ta learn about scalies ."

"What in the hell is a scaly?"

"A furry... but ya know... with reptiles."

Laxus blinked at him, "What... the hell...?"

"Oh my god... Laxus... how have you not heard about furries ?"

"How have you heard about them?" he bit back.

"The same way I learned about rimming, and scalies , and bondage, and daddy kinks, and sounding ..."

"Sounding?"

Gajeel snorted. Laxus rolled his eyes.

"Don't be like that, fairy," Gajeel purred into his chest, "I'll teach ya whatever ya wanna know. All ya gotta do is ask."

"Laxus..." Gajeel hissed into his throat, teeth worrying at his Adam's apple.

"You said you'd tell me," Laxus's heart was there, throbbing impatiently and just out of rhythm with the pulse in his hand. Gajeel bucked his hips and Laxus barely humored him.

" Fuck..."

"Not until you tell me."

Gajeel pushed him down and dug his fingers into his forearms, "Or I could shut you the hell up."

"You won't force me."

Gajeel whined, shivering.

"You're so good with words. Tell me."

Gajeel's eyes rolled back as he rocked his hips into him, "Fuck."

Laxus laughed and arched his back, "Articulate."

"My skin, Laxus... I... fuck ."

"Describe it..."

"It's... it's...like fire... and it... and it moves like... it's hot..."

Laxus was starting to lose his breath, " Heh, you sound like the start of shitty porn ..."

"I ain't ... hh... beggin' ta be fucked."

"Maybe you should."

"No..." wickedness ignited in his eyes, " You. Beg. Me ."

"I draw the line at eating ass."

"That's it? The one thing ya can't handle ? Rimming?"

Laxus couldn't stop himself from curling his lip with mild disgust.

"You seem to enjoy it."

"I mean, it feels great just... ya know... don't ask me to do it."

"How is it any different than sucking dick?"

" How is it... ? One's a dick and the other's eating ass ?"

"Ya know ya piss outta that thing, right?" Gajeel nudged his knee against Laxus's thigh to emphasize his point, sluggish amusement tugging on his features.

"...well I'm definitely not sucking you off now."

Gajeel chuckled, "Ya ain't sucking me off anyway."

"Right... yeah..."

"Laxus..." Gajeel hissed, " Please ..."

Laxus dug his nails into his biceps, using everything in him to hold him still. Red eyes were rampaging into his own, demanding and feral.

" Gajeel..." his voice wasn't supposed to sound so wrecked but what was he supposed to do? When Gajeel started to get angry, he didn't hold back. The air turned tremulous with the quickening of their breaths . The hot ire that spilled over his face and body, the quiet demand growing loud and insistent , it was like a fog he couldn't pierce .

"Laxus..." his voice devolved into a growl.

"I'll walk out of this damn house," a lie. An absolute, unadulterated lie, "And you won't stop me."

Watching Gajeel try to reign himself in was one of the most satisfying things Laxus thought he'd ever seen. Seeing him wrestle, toss his mind to something, anything that wasn't Laxus's body, and then giving up... there was something about it that spiked his blood more than alcohol ever could.

"Goddammit, Laxus, let me have you," Laxus could hardly hold him back, "What... I... hah ... I'll get violent ."

"You won't."

"I will ..." Laxus's whole body quivered with his snarl, "I have... I have razors at my fingertips. You think I won't... I won't...?"

"You won't ?"

" Use them ..." Gajeel finally got a grip on his wrists and pushed his hands to the bed, "I love the way it smells."

"The way what smells?" his thoughts scattered.

" You ," Gajeel was talking into his lips, his throat, "like... like..." his hands clenched tighter as he fought for words, "...tall grass after heavy rain and wildfire and metal ... goddamn it drives me wild..."

"... slow down..." Laxus's hips were aching.

"I know you hate it... I know you hate it..." he lost most of his control over his body when Gajeel sank teeth into him. The rest fled from him when he felt the searing sting of those claws , " Gods Laxus, please... one more time..."

"Gajeel... it hurts ..."

"I'm sorry."

"Laxus?"

"Hm?"

"Maybe you should get out... tomorrow."

Laxus stirred and winced at the shock that twisted through his hips. Gajeel wasn't laying on his chest anymore, wasn't curled against him. He was sitting in a chair across the room, eyes focused on a point out in the darkness. His arms were crossed tightly.

"Get out?" he felt like his heart was heavy. Gajeel's only response was to continue to stare out the window, "Why?"

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Gajeel, I'm fine."

Red eyes flashed over to him, papercut pupils quickly enlarging into miniature eclipses. The noise he made was almost a gasp and his hand quickly covered his nose. He was focusing on the window again, this time with a tightness around his eyes.

"Have ya looked at yerself recently?" he said at length.

Laxus clicked his teeth, "If this is about earlier..."

"Don't fucking set yourself on fire just to keep me warm, Laxus," Gajeel snapped, eyes flashing. In the dark, his scales almost looked black.

"I'm not," he was trying to stay calm as the air became volatile and charged. He could feel his guilt and anger... and how he craved him. He didn't say anything, of course, just turned to continue staring out the window.

Laxus threw off the blankets and tried to ignore the aches in his joints. He was immediately cold, his skin prickling in a wave that started from his legs and settled in his hairline. He took his time making his way around the bed, sto pped just a short outstretch of fingers away. Gajeel wouldn't look at him because it made him feel ashame d. Laxus twisted a finger into raven-feather tendrils.

"I want to be here, you know. I want to be with you…" a faint curl of static spidered from his fingertips and frayed the iron-plated pieces of his hair. A hand gripped his wrist and Laxus twisted to twine his fingers into his.

" I'm getting angrier … violent."

"I'm not glass."

"That doesn't mean I can just…" he shuddered and licked his lips, "…just… take you… whenever I want."

"Go ahead," Laxus ghosted fingertips across his cheek, the deceptive gentleness of it, and ran his thumb just below one brilliant ruby eye. If there was a tear there, he would have wiped it away. Gajeel leaned into his wrist and kissed his pulse, "…when you can't stand it, when it's driving you insane, any time it comes over you, I'll be here…." He freed his other hand and used it to cup his face, forced him to gaze up at him, "…I love you. I want to be here with you… see that fire in your eyes and how it tears you apart. You can tear me apart if it makes it easier… I want you to."

"Laxus…" the protest started where it began. Laxus wished he could hold forever that picture between his thumbs. Gajeel'sface, his eyes, every rough edge on him lulling to a delicate touch and suddenly as docile as a summer breeze drifting between languid willow branches, and a fountain of adoration running over in those gorgeous rose-colored eyes, "you're beautiful."

He grinned as he kissed him, relished the way Gajeel's breath left him as he tangled his fingers into that long black hair, "Funny… I was thinking the same about you."

I want you in ways that don't make sense.

I want you in ways that I shouldn't.

I want to warm your body until you boil like the coffins of a marsh graveyard after the floods come.

The sharp edge of the knife, I could slice you apart.

I want to dig into your earth and pull out your musk of fresh soil. The till of the forest rejuvenates me and I breathe.

I could bathe in your skin, the smell of you, hold you down and tear you open.

I want to know those depths of you.

I want to grind into your marrow.

I want to feel your pulse and know you're alive. This is all I have claim to, your golden palace, I'll worship you like a god.

I want to dig a hole into your chest just so I can curl inside and listen to your heartbeat. I need to feel your lungs swell.

Your body is chiseled from marble and splotched with rose perfume. You're my life.

You are broken open where you couldn't handle me, your life is leaking and I can taste it.

Blonde hair. I want to press my nose into you, inhale, and be hopelessly tangled in your nets.

To consume, to make you a part of me. I want to absorb every inch of you

Don't let me find a way out.

Suffocate me. I want to be smothered here.

I'll unfurl myself into the thinnest blanket, make myself spreadable and fill the creases of your porcelain skin.

Push your face into the down. I want to bite pieces out of you.

Those bruises

Those bruises

Are Mine.

His voice was soft against his temple, the sound more refreshing than cool water. How long had it been since he'd last heard him sing? Since he'd last heard him sing in the only language he'd spoken during his days wild and free? He could listen to that voice all night, their arms wrapped around each other, black hair dancing on his cheek and ghosting into his mouth. It smelled like old lust and rusting coins.

"I want to understand what you're singing."

"Didn't mean to wake you."

"Can you sing it again?"

Gajeel touched his forehead with his own. They were so close. Laxus could count his eyelashes if he wanted to. Gajeel's talon-tipped fingers were dancing circles across his lower back, up his spine. His eyes fluttered shut again.

"Come over the hills, my bonnie love,

Come over the hills to your darling,

You choose the road, love, and I'll make the vow,

And I'll be your true love forever.

Red is the rose that in yonder garden grows,

Fair is the lily of the valley,

Clear is the water that flows from the hills,

But my love is fairer than any.

Twas down by the green, green woods that we strayed,

When the moon and the stars they were shining.

The moon shone its rays on your locks of golden hair

And you swore you'd be my love forever.

It's not for the parting that my sister pains

It's not for the grief of my mother,

Tis all for the loss of my bonnie love,

That my heart is breaking forever.

Red is the rose that in yonder garden grows,

Fair is the lily of the valley,

Clear is the water that flows from the hills,

But my love is fairer than any."

"There's not a lot that scares me. I'll do just about anything," he purred, then his smile waned slightly and he quietly amended, "If it's you."

"That's a lot of power. You should be scared," Laxus wagged his eyebrows.

"I would be if ya weren't about as vanilla as a topless sundae in a cup."

Laxus clucked tongue, "You're trying to distract me. Tell me. I told you."

Gajeel grimaced and smiled, "Hell, I dunno."

"Pussy."

Gajeel stretched and Laxus could feel the way his muscles strained all along the front of him, "Oh... fisting, I guess."

" Fisting ?" Laxus's lips twisted, "I woulda guessed like... bondage."

" Mmh ," Gajeel sighed into his shoulder, "Used ta like bein ' tied up, ya know."

Laxus's smile turned a little sour, "You did?"

"Yeah... was fun. The expectation. Pretendin' like ya can't just get out... bein' helpless has a kinda thrill to it until yer actually helpless," red eyes were gazing up at him, flickering with memory dark and passionate, "Then it's just..."

"Scary as hell?" Laxus forced his lips to turn back up, refusing to break his gaze, "We could try sometime... if you want."

Gajeel blinked up at him for a moment as he considered. Red tinged his cheeks slightly and he looked away, "Maybe."

"We can go slow... use something you know you can get out of. Get a safe word..."

"Never needed a safe word before," it didn't sound like he'd meant to say it out loud and the weight behind it wasn't lost to the blonde. He'd never needed a safe word because he'd never felt unsafe, at least, not in his own bed , " Dunno ... M'sorry ."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Laxus hummed down at him gently as he brushed a rebellious strand of black hair away, "It's your pace. I won't rush you."

Gajeel was quiet for a while, "You'll leave my wrists alone?"

Laxus chuckled, "Of course. Whatever you want."

Blush colored the raven scarlet, "You always do what I want."

"That's how it's supposed to work. No one is going to force you, never again. I'll make sure of it," Laxus ran his fingers up his shoulder blades, pulling him closer. Gajeel's eyes had turned impossibly soft and red. When he turned his face away, Laxus let him. He murmured into his temple, "I made you do things you didn't want once; I wasn't there when you needed me. It will never happen again, Gajeel . Never."

"So, what did happen... between you and Levy? That night in Dahlia?"

" Nothin ' much... set up some floats, went to dinner, went to the hotel. I was gonna sleep in the chair but she wasn't gonnahave it..."

"You slept together?"

"Yeah... she's definitely a dame, tho," he shrugged from where he was snuggled close to Laxus's chest, a pale arm wrapped around him. Laxus bit down the jealously that was already making his tongue bitter.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he muttered.

"Hm?" Gajeel blinked up at him, an eyebrow quirking as if he should know the answer already, " Ya know, small. Tiny. I mean, she's nice, pretty, energetic... she's very... Levy . Not a bad thing. Thought I was ok with that before this, the niceness. Spendin' a night with her though, close enough ta touch her... dunno ... felt like I'd, eh, move an'... break her... somehow."

Laxus scoffed, "You can't break people by touching them, Gajeel."

" S'pose not," he yawned, flashing his sharp teeth, a little less sharp than earlier this week, "Felt like it, though... an' she was a ball of nerves, too. Kept blushin' and babblin'. Would've been cute, I guess, if she wasn't so guilty."

"Guilty?"

"The whole thing was to piss off Jet," Gajeel sighed, "She told me why. I don't really remember. Probably somethin' about how he was in bed."

"And you weren't interested in that?" Laxus found himself smirking.

"He's a fuckin' prick every goddamn day, can't imagine he'd have much energy by the time he got to bed," Gajeel's muscles locked up and his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said out loud. Laxus laughed, "I mean... hell... he can be angry... he should be angry... I..."

"The guy's gotta let it go. You're a part of Fairy Tail now, no matter what happened back then. He's not pissed with me."

"You're the guildmaster's grandson..."

"So?"

"Ya also beat the shit outta me right in front of him so, you know, fair's fair."

"And you saved the guild from me."

"Natsu did most of the work," he grumbled.

"You know he didn't."

He huffed but didn't argue. He was too busy settling back into Laxus's arms, taking a deep breath of him. Laxus didn't know if he was trying to be that sinful, his eyes rolling as he acted like Laxus was the only thing that kept his lungs moving. He tangled fingers into his hair.

"Just a dame..." he mumbled, his voice dropping and turning distant. He was falling asleep, " S'nice ... be a shame though. Be missin ' out..."

"Missing out? On what?"

"Getting held... small arms, delicate little hands. 'M all sharp points, ya know, a sawblade. You figured out how ta hold me so ya wouldn't get cut, turned me inta somethin' soft..." he sighed and Laxus felt like his heart was swelling up into his throat, "...Never used to be ok with that, until you. Never knew what I was missing."