Chapter 87:

A pair of arms circled around Laxus's and pulled at him impatiently, a drunken slur was in his ear, "Laxus! Dance with me!"

He was being tugged back to his feet as Gajeel was being helped up by Mirajane, another drink placed in his hand. Wendy bounced up, "I want to dance, too!"

He was abandoned to his growing queue, the record player to started up a new song to dance to. Cana stepped on his feet as she pulled him around the yard, and Wendy apologized that he had to stoop to keep her close. He even danced with little Asuka, whisking her around in a tiny circle as she smiled with glee. An then Mira ended up in his arms, his old dance partner who he'd practiced with when he was younger.

"You never danced with me like that, Laxus Dreyar," she accused, a demoness's venom in her voice. She drifted gracefully at his side with smooth strides and her own dexterous dips and twirls.

"Don' know what you mean..." he teased her.

A small smile shattered her fiery glare, because she was never really good at staying mad at him, "I'm glad you're so happy."

Laxus chuckled, "Thanks, Mira."

With the record player unguarded, Bickslow and Cana took control of the music, interrupting the string of love songs with more upbeat tempos. Natsu wasted no time taking his chance and ended up standing on a table, jumping and spinning while Lucy yelled for him to get down. Juvia dragged Grey from where he'd stubbornly kept back, squealing about being in love and showing affection and dancing with her beloved.

Laxus stumbled from the growing raucous with Mira smiling benignly at his side. She poured him a beer and thrusted it into his hand before dragging him down to her level and kissing his cheek. He rolled his eyes while she sashayed across the yard to make more trouble. He took a far too large of a drink from what she'd given him and wondering when he'd finally stop. Maybe he wouldn't.

"I can't believe you actually paid attention! Those lessons were good for something!" Gramps nudged at him, walking up from… somewhere. Laxus hadn't even noticed his grandfather's approach. Where had he been the past hour?

"Course I paid attention," Laxus drawled.

"You refused to go to any recitals!"

"Cuz I didn't wanna look like an idiot in front of a bunch of people."

"You did a phenomenal job, Laxus," Freed smiled, although something about it seemed off and he couldn't quite place it.

"Oh yes, you almost look like you have some class," Laxus heard Davian before he saw him as he seemingly appeared straight from Freed's shadow. He looked taller. Did he look taller? Maybe he didn't.

"You can't insult Laxus's honor like that!" Freed defended, hot in a second and scathing in reply, "He excels at everything he does!"

"Does he?" Davian smiled wryly, all razor-sharp teeth and then, quite suddenly, not. Laxus blinked, narrowed his eyes at him, and the chameleon shifted slightly under his gaze, like smoke, "It was a joke."

"So joking is something you do?" Laxus grinned into his cup, ignoring the dubious look from the Major, "Have you met Gramps, yet?"

"I beg pardon?"

"Makarov Dreyar," Gramps hopped up next to him, puffing on his pipe, and offering his hand, "Third Guild Master of Fairy Tail."

Davian immediately bowed at the waist, "An honor to meet you, Master Makarov."

"This is Major Davian Bishop," Laxus explained, "Over Ember Island Prison."

"Ah…" Gramps said darkly, "This is the man who took my son away."

Davian cleared his throat, "Your-your son?"

"He also helped get 'em out,"

Mira handed Laxus another beer. How did she always know when he was out? She had a cacodemonic grin as she left, disappearing into the group where Cana was goading Gajeel to take shots with her. He wasn't paying her any mind, lighting a cigarette and wavering on his feet as he laughed with Pantherlily, the latter of whom seemed to be talking about going on a mission with Team Shadow Gear. Droy said something like well I got you out, didn't I?

Someone bumped into Laxus's arm and he sputtered as beer spilled down his shirt. Juvia started apologizing and catching his arm, whining about how she'd been looking for Grey and he'd disappeared. Her eyes got large, then, and she grinned mischievously.

"Juvia heard Laxus saved Gajeel from certain peril at the prison…"

"Who told ya that?" he wiped hopelessly at his shirt. At least he hadn't been wearing his jacket… what had he done with that again?

"It sounds romantic! Juvia wishes Grey would save her!"

"Hasn't he done that b'fore?" Laxus asked plainly, and Juvia's eyes widened as she remembered.

"Oh! Grey must love Juvia, then!" she exclaimed, and then began to tear up, "So why can't she find him anywhere?"

Laxus tugged at his soaked shirt, unbuttoning the first couple buttons. He curled his lip in disgust at the way the fabric suctioned to his skin. He decided to go inside and change, and carefully picked his way into the house. He was pulling his shirt off as he walked through the kitchen, and lost his balance into the wall. A shuffling noise had his eyes falling on Levy and Jet, conspicuously sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, both of their faces incriminating shades of red. He pretended not to notice the way Levy fidgeted with her dress as he waved lazily at them and headed for the stairs. At the sound of a gasp, he glanced back over his shoulder and Levy had seemed to turn an entire shade darker and was staring at her hands. He shook his head and tromped up the stairs to his room, grappling for maybe a tad too long with pulling a new shirt off the hanger, and teetering on his feet as he did.

It wasn't until he was looking in the mirror that a thought occurred to him as to why Levy had reacted at him shirtless. Bruises and marks from Gajeel's nails and teeth weren't prominent but definitely still there on his shoulders and back and fading hickeys dotted his collar and chest. A smug feeling coiled in his spine at the knowledge that Levy knew exactly what they were and how they got there. That was fine with him. Maybe now she'd finally stop throwing herself at his lover whenever she got half a drink in her. (He knew he was being possessive, but Gajeel thought it was hot, right?)

The stairs seemed to sway beneath his feet as he made his way back outside. He forwent another cup for a bottle of something-or-other that he swung back before he'd made it out of the kitchen. He nearly walked right into somebody – Lisanna maybe? – and she laughed as she sidestepped him. He ruffled her hair as he passed. Her hair was thin like Mira's, and just as snow-white. She swatted him away playfully, assuring him she was real.

Crossing through the door to the backyard found him immediately consumed by a wall of sound. A blur by the fence made him look to see Natsu running up it to see if he could stand at the top before he slipped and lost his footing, tumbling to the ground heap. Grey jumped up next, making it an extra step before joining him with a heavy thud. Natsu yelled about him doing it on purpose and elbowed him in the ribs, just as Romeo nailed the trick they'd been drunkenly trying to master. Bickslow's unhinged laughter filled the air as he teased Freed for drinking too much, and Freed, who seemed to be having trouble explaining something to… someone...

He narrowed his eyes at the person, trying to figure out why his vision would get so hazy when he stared straight at them. It was like a shadow or a figure from a dream, an optical illusion, maybe, or a ghost caught in a blurred photograph…

"Ok, ok, hold my beer."

Irena was talking loudly, waving at the small gathering around her to back up. He stepped up next to Macao and Serrill who were muttering between each other as Irena started checking to make sure everything on her outfit was secure. Mirajane and Erza were leaning against each other, picking apart her stance and approach. Satisfied that she was ready, she looked about her space one last time and bounced a couple of times on her toes before jumping into a backflip and landing in a split. She tossed her hair back for good measure and smiled up at the men in front of her with the sort of confidence that would make a weak man fall to his knees, and some of them looked like they might from just watching her. At the look Serrill made, Laxus nudged him.

"She's taken," he slurred and Serrill's face flushed.

"I know that!"

Irena was pulling herself off of the ground in a way that probably should have been criminal, and the look in her eyes said she knew it, "Never been to a strip club, Keirin?"

"Well I- I mean I... not one where the dancers did that!"

"Can you show us how to do that?" Mirajane was at her side, dragging Lucy along with her. The blonde was frantically trying to pull away.

"I can't do something like that! Are you crazy?"

"Of course you can! It just takes some practice," Irena beamed.

The ground tilted under Laxus's feet and that was agitating since he was trying to walk across the yard to get another drink. Cana yelled at him to drink with her and he couldn't quite remember why that was something he hadn't wanted to do earlier. And besides, Gajeel had finally been convinced to sit with her and throw back shots as well. So Laxus tried not to stumble as he pulled up a chair, and promptly fell into the seat harder than he had originally planned. Gajeel snickered at him from behind his cigarette, swirling his whiskey in its cup and eyeing the bottle Laxus had brought with him. Cana slid them both a couple of overfilled shot glasses, most of the liquid ending up on the table and dripping down his hand as they all three threw it back. Laxus grimaced and ran his tongue across his teeth, not minding Cana laughing at his expense.

"What is that?" he slurred and Cana squinted as she tried to read the bottle.

"Vodka," she said but he wasn't sure that was right, "Alright, gimme the details. When did you two start hookin' up?"

"A while ago, I think," Laxus replied dumbly.

"Ya think, eh?" Gajeel laughed, "Like a year, isn't it? More'n that? D'ya count when I was in prison?"

"Prison counts."

"Prison counts," Cana agreed, sloppily filling their glasses once again and making a mess. She wiped the alcohol off the table with her hand tried to flick off the excess, somehow managing to splash Laxus in the process.

"When did we start dating?" Laxus slurred.

"When d'ya wanna say?"

Laxus grabbed the next shot Cana slid his way and blinked at the ring on his finger, "T's when we… ya know… uhhh…"

"When you what?" Cana asked, a salacious glint in her eyes.

"We went to Edelweiss? N'the rings. That was the point, right?"

"Yeah… That's right." The side of Gajeel's mouth tugged up in a lopsided grin. "So, less'n a year."

Cana huffed, obviously not getting what she was looking for. Of course, Laxus wasn't sure what she was looking for, because he'd answered the question, hadn't he? Gajeel shot the brunette a cunning look and his mouth pulled back in a sneer.

"Oh… you wanted ta know when we started fuckin'," he accused and Cana blushed, waving her hand as if to imply no even though she couldn't outright deny it, "Ya gonna be like his nosy-ass friends and ask who tops, too?"

"We are not nosy!" Freed yelled and they both whirled around.

Bickslow was cackling, "You gave us away!"

"You're all kids," Laxus mumbled into his shot and Freed gave him a wounded look, "What's it matter, anyway?"

Gajeel leaned forward with all the seductive sinuousness of a snake and rested his chin on his palm, grasping loosely his cigarette between his fingers. His grin held a razor's edge of wickedness and Laxus's stomach swooped.

"Whatever you're about to say..."

"They know ya walk like yer a god," his words slithered like smoke between his teeth, "can't believe I could make ya weak."

Cana spat out her drink and Bickslow laughed at Freed whose eyes had widened to nearly the size of dinner plates, stammering about how he didn't believe it. Laxus realized if this were any other day at the bar, he'd be annoyed, angry even, but he couldn't find a way to care when Gajeel had a wretched smirk curling his lips like that.

"That was lewd," Laxus snarled.

"Mh? This is yer just deserves fer leavin' me last time."

"You hold a grudge," he charged.

"Would I?" his eyes rolled back when he laughed.

Laxus rested his hand atop his head and watched Gajeel stiffen beneath him, humor vanishing from his face and replaced by surprise, "S'pose I'd be appalled if I ever saw you try to be a saint, hm? Delinquent."

Gajeel blinked up at him, whatever emotion that was playing about in his eyes unreadable. When Laxus left him, though, Gajeel watched him like he didn't want him to leave. Cana muttered something that made him blush and snap something Laxus couldn't quite catch but sounded a lot like what would you know, ya drunk!

Another drink down and things were getting hazy. Someone asked him about horses but he couldn't remember where he'd put them.

"Why don't you just stay?" Mira offered, "Look at them, they can't travel this late in that condition anyway..."

"Certainly, we couldn't..."

"T's fine. T's not like we use all the beds anyway," Laxus muttered, watching the ground as it shifted beneath his feet. That wasn't a good sign, was it? Had he really had that much to drink? His stomach rolled.

"I'm sure your other half would prefer not."

Laxus grinned, "I'll keep him distracted."

Lucy started screaming to be put down. Natsu kept challenging her to wrestle him as she fought to get out of his arms. Juvia had found Grey and was wrapped around his waist, sobbing that he was going to leave her again as he reluctantly reassured her that he wasn't going anywhere. Lisanna was leaving alongside Wendy, Macao, and Wakaba, tired of drunken antics and ready to rest at home. Gramps walked up at him and smiled. Looking down at him was rough with the world continuing to tilt around, but he seemed proud over something. With a strange gleam in his eye he told Laxus he was glad he was home and Laxus felt the need to hug him for it, so he did, nearly falling over in the process but somehow managing to stay on his feet.

It was right after that Laxus realized he was nauseous, which was weird because had drinking ever made him nauseous before? Had he ever had this much to drink before? He was sure he had. Actually, he was positive he had, but that knowledge didn't stop his stomach from twisting the way it did. He furrowed his brow at his cup, determined to ignore the world rocking beneath him for as long as possible. He really, really didn't want to get sick.

He could hear Erza pushing Cana to play a game, and only had barely enough wherewithal to realize that needed to be stopped before it gained traction. Things were getting blurry, fuzzy. He realized he was having a hard time distinguishing sounds and people. His nausea surged and with it a bit of a chill that slipped down the length of his spine. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he felt like he was being watched. Not by his friends and colleagues or passersby, but by something other.

There was a crash and yelling, the sound of fire and ice clashing. Erza started yelling, as did Elfman. None of it really reached Laxus, though. The dissonance and aggression faded into the not-quite-relevant fog at the water's edge of his mind. If he took the time to stare at it, to really attempt to make out the figures that moved between the swaths of grey and white maybe he'd recognize that he should do something, but at the moment he could do little because he was too busy staring at his hand and thinking that something wasn't right. He was as white as a sheet, nearly transparent. He remembered reading about fashion trends hundreds of years ago, that there was a time when looking frail and sick and on the verge of collapse was attractive. That was how he felt, light-headed and shaky... like he was going to pass out...

And watched. He felt like he was being watched and it was wretched. He could hear the hiss in the back of his mind, the need to recoil into a protective shadow, to seek shelter and no longer be exposed and bleeding. He could feel it coming, its steps an approach far more potent than the fight breaking out amongst his guildmates. A table splintering, bottles shattering, the glass-shard footfalls digging into his un-calloused palm and heading for his wrists. It would be there and it would be writhing like maggots through a carcass. The nightmare at the saltbox house. The thing in the corner, the eyeless, all-seeing thing, the shadow that moved like the flies he'd seen on what remained of a child in a basement, the teeth that screamed and cold stone and ribcages and eyes and a train ride and massive things he couldn't see, he couldn't see, he hadn't been able to see.

But he could see now. And how could he describe it other than a darkness? It shaped itself from the air in an undefined outline, just meters away. In the house he'd been chilled by the silence but now he couldn't stand the noise. The knife's-edge ice of dread sank slowly down his chest and raked into his stomach. No one could see it, the hulking, looming figure whose peak brushed the lights and swallowed them like a saltless sea the fragments of its victim ship. Laxus heard whispers louder than accusations and fists dancing over his shoulder and slipping around his throat.

.; ;. ;- I I I s ';.. šś e ęe '; yÿo óø õ,';../';.

Laxus felt like he was weighted down, a will placed over his own and keeping him from moving, from escaping. He felt the sharp of a knife at his shoulder, the blade digging hungry, serrated teeth through skin and sinew and muscle until his breath left him. He wanted to scream. Any rage that could have rooted was stifled by the figure as its lips that Laxus couldn't see pulled back and it smiled. All of the light slowly began to wane from the hanging lights, doused like candles and edging his vision with black fingers that scratched their way up his throat and face and he couldn't breathe or swallow them down because his strength had fled and the world was tilting...

"Laxus?"

It was quiet, dreadfully, horribly quiet.

"Laxus? Laxus, answer me,"

Laxus blinked at the faint and blurred outlines in his vision. He was being restricted. Strong, immoveable something-or-others were around his arms and he realized he wasn't exactly standing even though he was upright. He planted his feet onto the ground and heard a crunch beneath his bootheels. It took him a while to parse through what the sound was and figure out why there was a dull throb in his hand. His cup had shattered and he blinked down at the broken pieces and the alcohol burning his flesh where it slipped and mingled with red. The stinging sort of faded back into his subconscious, more a hassle than an immediate need to be addressed. He eyed the shards of glass at his feet and wondered at leaving to clean it up. He couldn't just walk away, though, what if someone stepped on it? But even that thought was more of a musing than an actual call to action, because he could do little more than watch the slow drip-drip of scarlet from his hand. The beads swelling a heavy drop, the lazy roll down his white skin. His fingers were shaking from shock and he could see a shard winking at him in the dim light.

He was going to throw up.

"I'm... I'm fine..." he shoved his way free and made for the door. Someone asked if he was ok but he was far more concerned with finding a bathroom. The downstairs door was closed and so he immediately headed for the stairs, up the swaying spiteful stairs, and nearly falling into the wall in his hasty retreat. A few more steps, the glaring white light, and finally...

Fuck. He hated getting sick.

Fuck. He hated getting sick.

He heard heavy footsteps that were being purposely loud heading his way. Black boots stopped at his side and from where Laxus had settled leaning against his good arm on the back of the toilet, he just glanced long ebony hair. A damp towel was offered to him and Laxus took it graciously while Gajeel set about examining his hand.

"Had a little too much?" he hummed, a smirk playing on his lips as he dabbed at the wound. Laxus had to look away as his fingers grasped the shard, but the booze made it hard to care too much about the pain.

What bothered him more was how calm Gajeel was because... because what had he seen? Had no one else noticed the massive thing standing in the middle of the yard? No one else had heard the whispers? And the lights going out... had that really happened? Had it really... what had happened? Wait... what had...

Gajeel wrapped his hand, humming a quiet tune as he did and occasionally brushing his hair away. Laxus remembered braiding it in the clearing, how it had felt to sing to him while they were alone and simple. Was that how Gajeel felt whenever he sang to him?

"Little drastic, don'cha think?" Laxus drawled as Gajeel finished patching him up. The iron dragon gave him a small smile.

"You won't say that in the morning."

"How're you not drunk?" Laxus snarled.

"Just that good," he replied roguishly.

"Sorry... 'bout t'night."

"Hm?"

"T's Mira's fault, ya know. My fault. I told her we were coming home but didn't think she'd-" he waved his hand towards the door "-do all this. I know you didn't want company."

"Yeah, I kind of wanted a night alone... with you," Gajeel conceded, not able to look at him for some reason.

"Haven't had enough of me yet?" Laxus teased.

"Course not," Gajeel smiled at him gently and brought his knuckled up to trace the line of his jaw, "Was worried I wouldn't touch you again, for a while there."

"I told you I'd get you out. You didn't believe me?"

Gajeel's smile was reticent. He withdrew his hand and rested it on Laxus's arm. Laxus couldn't help but think he seemed sad again, and distant. They'd had such a good night and he supposed he'd ruined it, hadn't he? He'd gotten too drunk and wound up hurting himself... it must have triggered something. He didn't like the way Gajeel seemed to be shuttering himself up, offering him this surface-level smile after everything they'd been through. But maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Gajeel... well he was very good at keeping secrets, wasn't he? The lacrima, Kahli, meeting Hajime in secret... Laxus had never had a clue.

And now that he was given a minute to dwell on it, the thought of it stung.

"What's wrong?" Gajeel asked, his brow furrowing a little. Laxus swallowed through the tightness in his throat.

"I feel like shit," he muttered.

"Maybe you should lay down?"

"I'll think about it," Laxus sighed and tried to push himself back up only to lose his balance. Gajeel grabbed a hold of his arm to stead him and Laxus didn't have it in him to push him away.

"Want me to carry you?" Gajeel smirked.

"'M too heavy,"

"No yer not,"

"Yes, I am."

"Is that a challenge?" his grin widened and Laxus floundered to get him away.

"No, no! Gajeel!"

He lifted him and Laxus clutched at his chest and arm as they teetered for a moment. Victory was written across the raven's face for one glorious moment until he tried to take a step and they both tumbled into a heap on the ground. A new wave of nausea flared in Laxus's stomach although now he had nothing left in him to alleviate it. Gajeel was laughing and apologizing as he tried to push himself up only to flop back over again. Tears were coming to his eyes as he laughed and the note was strange. Laxus didn't want to bring it up because he didn't want his good mood to end.

It was a while before Gajeel could pull himself back up to stand, and at that point the world had mostly stopped its insane tilt beneath Laxus's feet. They stumbled their way into the bedroom and Gajeel helped him out of his clothes before pushing him back onto the bed. Laxus watched the raven as he put his clothes away and set a glass of water and some pain killers at his bedside. He made no move to join him.

"Where are you going?" Laxus asked, knowing he sounded hurt but not in enough control of himself to stop it.

"Mh? I'm just gonna make sure everyone else is ok," he gave him a questioning look, "Why?"

"You're always leaving... I always wake up and you're gone," he accused, something hot and sticky beneath his chest making him angry. Gajeel blinked at him like a deer staring down a hunter's barrel, and something about it seemed startlingly clear to Laxus. A sharp ache stabbed at his chest, "Gajeel... you're... are you leaving me?"

His jaw tightened, his eyes became cold and hard like stone. Why did he look like he was about to cry? He strode up to his bedside and Laxus could still catch the cigarette smoke clinging to his clothes and breath. But he wasn't sharp and jagged, he wasn't defensive like he should have been. Gajeel was heartbreakingly soft, capturing the sides of Laxus's face with his hands. Fingers danced across his jaw, down his ears, the tips of them digging into his hair.

"Everything that's left in me is yours," he breathed the words against his mouth, pushed him back into the bed. Laxus held onto his arms because he wasn't sure he'd seen Gajeel's eyes focus so intensely into him before, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Gajeel-" his name caught in his throat.

"I never wanted ta make you feel that way, Laxus. You're everything to me. Didn't I say so before? I wasn't kidding. It wasn't a joke..."

"Gajeel, don't-"

"I can't find meaning in my life, but it's not you. It has nothing to do with you, Laxus."

Laxus felt his heart stop. Panic made his vision blur, "Gajeel..."

"You said I could live for you and... and I want to. I'm..." he paused, as if the words were beyond his grasp. When he spoke again, the words were fast and sharp, "I'm gonna get help."

"I... you're... what?"

"I'm gonna get help," he said it again, slower, like maybe it wasn't so painful the second time. Laxus realized his hands were shaking, the red that always stayed captured in his irises were bleeding out and threatening to spill down his cheeks, "The Major got me a therapist... the same one Serrill is seeing. I'm gonna... I'm gonna try... to get better. To be better... for you. I'm sorry..."

Laxus felt like he couldn't get him close enough, there wasn't enough of him that he could hold in his hands or against his body or intertwined in his legs. Gajeel was shaking, clutching him tightly as Laxus buried his face into his chest. His heart was racing, his hand throbbing, but he felt like he was floating. He didn't realize how desperately he had wanted this. Gajeel was going to try to get better... for him.

"I want you to know how much you mean to me," he whispered, the warmth of his breath making Laxus shiver, "I wanna make you know... somehow..." he nuzzled against his neck, "Have we made love?"

"Of course, we have..." although, now that Laxus really thought about it, maybe they hadn't. He'd told Gajeel to back when they'd been together in Edelweiss but... that wasn't quite what had happened. And besides, he hadn't exactly been sober, "Maybe... maybe we haven't."

Gajeel drew back from him then, letting his hair fall over him like a curtain, "That's something I've never done b'fore, ya know,"

"We'll have to then... when we're both sober."

"Yeah... I'll have to travel a lot, to Ember Island, for therapy. Maybe after that starts so we can... pick a date."

Laxus smirked, "Plan a date? Didn't go so well last time..."

"We'll do it right this time, then. Go to The Garden's Edge, get all dressed up," Gajeel smiled, "you can tell me more about school."

"And you can tell me more about growing up a delinquent?" Laxus smiled back.

Gajeel was suddenly serious again, his eyes deep as they gazed into his, "I've fucked up a lotta things in my life, Laxus. I don't want this to be one of those things. I love you. Maybe I leave, but as long as you'll have me, I'll always come back... no matter what it takes."

"I don't think I'll ever not have you."

"Then I'll never not come back," Laxus closed his eyes as Gajeel traced the outline of his face, "I'm gonna make sure Natsu didn't break anything. I'll be back, ok?"

"Yeah... alright."

"I love you," he whispered.

"Yeah..." Laxus stared after him, a bitter taste welling up in his mouth, "I love you, too."