Chapter 122:

Laxus was so fucking sick of the weird dreams. He was starting to wonder if maybe he was still cursed, but of course he wasn't. These were so intrinsically different, he knew they weren't related to Father or lizard people or sacrifices. It was just bizarre and confusing.

His hands were around Gajeel's throat. There was lightning everywhere in the cave around him, scorching the walls and the ceiling. He kept asking him what was going on? What was wrong with him? They were in those caves again, but Laxus's side wasn't burning, he wasn't hurt and confused. He was just angry and getting angrier. Gajeel was beneath him, grinning like a devil as he held onto his hands. His chest was heaving. The lightning didn't hurt him, in fact, it seemed it was getting him excited. Scarlet eyes were wide and wild as he gazed up at him.

Laxus was leaning as close to him as he could, but he couldn't hear what he was saying over the thunder. Something roared in the distance. He was rocketing towards something, his skin breaking out in prickling gooseflesh. He felt like he did during the storm, the uncontrollable power cresting inside of him, boiling up in his blood until he thought it might ooze out his ears. Gajeel arched his spine, his eyes rolling back at the same time they fluttered closed. His lips parted and moved... saying... something. A dragon roared in the distance. Laxus felt like he was falling...

He woke up when he felt the ground rapidly coming up to meet him, flying up from where he lay on the couch. He sat and listened to his breathing, trying to calm himself down. He was hard, aching. On impulse, he was pulling himself free from his boxers, shivering from the simple touch. He didn't need to conjure an image because Gajeel was just on the other side of his eyelids, moaning beneath him. Laxus imagined fucking him hard, digging his nails into his skin. It was so vivid and clear. He arched his spine, frantic as he brought his knuckles to his mouth, stifling a sound that threatened to break free. He needed… he needed to… bite something.

He bit his hand and came, dizzy for a moment as he came down from his high. Clarity made him immediately ashamed. He strained his ears, listening to be sure Lily was still asleep. He didn't hear any movement, and his eyes listed over to the curtains. It was still dark, so for all he knew, it was early in the morning. He huffed and made his way to the shower, pretending like he wasn't frazzled as for the sixth morning in a row, he doused himself in cold water. What the fuck was going on with him? It was like he'd traded one fucked up dream for another.

While he was pulling a fresh shirt on, he realized his thumb was throbbing. He knew it was because he'd bit his knuckle but was more than a little startled when he looked down and saw the crescent mark flecked with blood. Had he… really…? Thathard? How pent up was he that he'd do something like that?

He hastily dressed the wound and shuffled his feet out onto the streets of Magnolia. The air was chilly, and the sun hadn't appeared enough to chase the last of the stars from the sky. His eyes lingered on one Gajeel had pointed out to him once, recalling the story behind it, and he stopped where he was and stared.

Gajeel had told him so much about dragons, about his dad, about being raised a heathen out in the wild. Whenever Laxus had asked him, he'd dredged up stories of flying over mountains, of catching wild rams to eat, of crisp autumn mornings just like this. They were stories Laxus knew he'd never shared with anyone. It was a weakness, a chink in infallible armor on a man who so desperately wanted to seem unbreakable, and yet whenever Laxus had asked, he'd let his guard down and draw him in. Now, he wished more than anything he could talk to him about the dreams he was having, ask him for help, for advice. But it had been almost a week and Gajeel still hadn't come home. He hadn't even found a trace of him.

Once, he thought he'd caught his scent. The sharp stab of iron was so known to him, Laxus had frozen mid-step and turned towards it. Mirajane had been with him, checking up on him after his episode with his lacrima, and they'd been walking to the guild. She'd followed him without hesitation, her eyebrows knitted together and face colored with worry as they went down a back ally to a dingy little bar Laxus had never been to before. He'd lost his scent. It must have been old. And the bartender gave him a look of contempt when he'd strolled inside. He was kind enough to tell him, yes, Gajeel had been there the night prior, but he hadn't been back since, and he wasn't welcome. Neither he nor Mira could get out of him the reason, and Laxus shambled back into the street, wandering aimlessly around until Mira convinced him wherever Gajeel was, he wasn't here any longer.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and slouched down the path that was so known to him. As he had done every morning, he meandered to Gajeel's favorite places even though he knew already he wouldn't be there. The scent of him was nowhere, no lingering piece of him left after he'd been so long away, though that didn't stop Laxus's chest from cinching uncomfortably every time he rounded a corner and found it devoid of the man he loved so much. A delirious, sleep-deprived part of him wondered if he'd ever existed in the first place. He felt like he was chasing ghosts everywhere he went, looking for something that was destined to be invisible to him, something that was never real. The aching in his chest always became worse when he neared the guildhall, his eyes looking to find raven hair and matching feathers disappearing inside, the slight hope that swelled when he swung the doors open, and the crushing letdown when again Gajeel wasn't there. He lumbered quietly to his usual spot and sat down.

Eventually, Levy joined him, teaching him draconic to pass the time. There were a lot of phrases she didn't understand that Laxus found he could piece together fairly easily. Actually, ever since the day he'd activated the lacrima, learning to read draconic had become immensely easier. He just... understood. It was like putting on a pair of glasses. He'd stare at the figures for a while, parsing out the words before they snapped to sharp focus. Levy marveled, offering him ample amounts of praise for his efforts.

"You're getting so good at this, Laxus," she smiled at him, the curves of her soft and dazzling.

That was also new, and incredibly uncomfortable. Laxus was attracted to Levy, a girl who had never been on his radar before. The woman was tiny, and he berated himself for telling Gajeel that he couldn't break someone just by touching them because now he could sympathize. He crossed his ankles under the table and told himself it was just because they'd gotten to know each other better that he was feeling this way. Like with all kiddish crushes, it would go away soon enough, but it didn't make him any less on edge. He remembered the impulse he'd had a few nights prior, and it still made him anxious. He didn't want to touch her. Ever. Gajeel hadn't been able to fight him off when he'd been this way with him. What would he do to Levy?

"U-um... is everything... ok?" Levy asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she fidgeted beneath his gaze.

"Yeah..." he mumbled, tearing his eyes away from her to look down at the book. He hadn't realized he'd been staring, "Just haven't been sleeping well, I think."

"A-again?" she asked, alarmed.

"No, no." he assured her, oddly touched that she was so concerned, "It's not like that. I've been sleeping on the couch."

"He still hasn't come back?" she asked, entwining her fingers together, "Jet hasn't either... I'm starting to worry."

"What're the chances they're together?" Laxus smirked dryly, "Maybe they got into a fight."

"Knowing Jet?" she rolled her eyes, "I wouldn't be surprised. He's jealous about all the wrong things."

"How do you mean?" Laxus hummed, flipping the page.

"It's just so clear Gajeel has no interest in me," she muttered, not meeting his eyes.

"Still confuses the hell outta me," Laxus said and Levy jumped.

"W-what?"

Laxus shrugged and watched his electricity as it snapped up and down his fingers. His stomach twisted, zinging with lightning that was barely bridled and desperate to get out, "You're cute, and kind, and s-soft... and I'd image you don't say really stupid shit when you're angry."

He lazily rolled his eyes back to her, immediately noticing her face was bright red. She wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"I-I say stupid things when I'm angry..." she said. Laxus pretended he didn't know she was blushing because he'd said nice things about her. He raised a brow at her, a voiceless question, "I told Jet the only reason he didn't want me on the cover of Sorcerer Magazine, was because he was scared I'd find someone better."

"I think he deserved that one," Laxus smirked, "Though, I might be biased."

"B-biased?" she asked, suddenly extremely interested in the translation in front of her.

"He really gets on my nerves," Laxus elaborated. "Gajeel sticks up for him, too. I don't get it."

"He does?" she smiled, this time enough that it met her eyes.

"Yeah... says it's fine Jet hates him because of what he did to you guys."

Her smile faded, again, "I think he's more than paid for his crimes. And I'm not the same girl he ambushed in the middle of the night."

"Ah... is that what your fight was about? You not being able to handle yourself?" Laxus asked.

"Jet thinks I'm defenseless, but I'm a fast learner. I can handle myself against some stalker. It wouldn't be the first time," she sighed. At Laxus's questioning look, she flipped her hair idly around her finger, "I'm small. I'm an easy target."

"Ah."

I would keep you safe. Laxus gripped the thought before it could form on his tongue and murdered it somewhere in the back of his mind.

Uncomfortable. Laxus felt uncomfortable. His eyes trailed over her shoulder where her dress fell away. He tore his attention back to the page. What was wrong with him? He never thought about Levy this way. It would be one thing if it was just a little flutter in his chest when she spoke or nervousness when she got near, but the urge to reach out and do something was getting more and more vocal. It wasn't like how desperately he'd craved Gajeel, but he was starting to get worried that would be the direction this was going. What was going on?

Mirajane sighed loudly as she took the seat next to him. She pulled off her apron and laid it on the table. Laxus felt her closeness and his skin prickled. She smelled familiar, homey, and he found his eyes drifting to her figure as she settled next to him. She ran her fingers through her split ends, fluffing up her hair as she relaxed. He balled his hands against the table. Her dress barely contained her as she leaned forward against her arms. She did it intentionally and so frequently that it was second nature to her, cupping her breasts so they'd appear fuller. The upturn of her lips, the way she looked at him through her eyelashes, oozing sex appeal as naturally as a fish takes to water. She took far too much pleasure in making men want her and then shutting them down.

"Laxus," her voice held mischief and he flushed, immediately knowing why, "My eyes are up here."

"Ah... shit." he said, physically leaning away from her. He crossed his arms and looked out towards the guildhall as she laughed demurely at his expense, a sound like bells chiming, "You're just there, Mira."

"You two really must be something. It's not even been a week and you're acting like a preteen going through puberty," Mirajane prodded at him, although he could tell she wasn't trying to be mean, just tease him. "Hormones everywhere, Laxus?"

"T's been longer than a week since we last..." He hadn't realized he'd said it out loud. He heard Mirajane shift and glanced over to see her holding in a giggle as Levy blushed furiously. "Sorry, I... didn't mean... ah..."

"It's ok to miss someone you love," Mira cooed, "I bet the makeup sex is great."

"Make up sex," Laxus scoffed. "You're the only person into that."

"Oh, I am far from the only one, aren't I, Levy?" she said knowingly. Levy blushed harder.

"It's the only time he gets rough with me," she admitted, and Laxus's eyebrows shot up.

"Is that why you're always fighting?" he teased.

"N-no!" she said hurriedly, throwing up her hands, "Most of the time he deserves it. He's just so... so dense. But... sometimes... maybe I try to set him off just a little?"

"It's fun," Mira insisted, memory making her eyes twinkle hungrily. "I miss it."

Laxus sucked in a breath.

Everyone at the guild knew Mira had a mean streak in her but most people never actually saw it. Laxus, on the other hand, had witnessed it so much that he could spot it from a mile away. A certain turn to her lips, a glint in her eyes, the way she'd hold herself, he could see Satan Soul screaming for release. And when she finally did it was catastrophic. Whenever she was tired of being perfect, of being the sweet face of Fairy Tail, the sex icon on a magazine cover, she'd used to corner him and lash out. Everyone always knew when they were back together again because Mira would move out of the dorms. They joked and whispered that it was because guys weren't allowed in, which was a little true. The reality was because of their explosive fights.

"Ah... but the fights were so intense. We just liked taking things out on each other. No idea how in the hell we stayed together so long," Laxus said, remembering a time she'd smacked him across the face and he'd responded in kind, dragging her close and screaming at her to do it again and see what happened. She'd never been frightened though, meeting his wrath without flinching, pushing him to go farther, "Maybe they were a little fun."

Laxus remembered feeling the energy crackle whenever she was in one of her moods. It was like a rockslide. It always started with something innocuous. A little jab, a snide remark, pebbles tumbling down a steep cliff, and then the mountain fell. There were several occasions when she'd slapped him just to try to get him mad enough to lay his hands on her. If he touched her, she could let him have it. It was an excuse. It was her need to let the demon out. And he had a temper that needed satisfied.

Laxus's voice dropped in a way he hadn't intended, "We were dumb kids."

Mira smiled smugly at him, clearly not agreeing, "You liked it."

He couldn't help it. The corner of his lip curled upward.

"You were about the only one who could take me... my temper..." he corrected, trying to pretend he wasn't feeling warmer thinking about it, "I could throw my weight around with you."

The salacious banter had Levy's brown doe eyes looking up at him like they might swallow him if he got too close. Her hands were clasped together and she looked between the two of them, unsure of what to say or do as they two reminisced about their chaotic bliss.

When they were young, it had started with breaking plates, small things that were easily replaced. Then it turned into furniture, fists into drywall. One time, Laxus had gotten so angry he thrown her against the wall. She'd smiled at him in a sickening way that meant he was fucked. He'd spent most of the money from that next mission fixing the damage they had dealt to the house and each other. And, of course, they'd have sex. Angry, lustful, hateful sex. Usually, lacking in anything aside from the taste of frustration and craving for relief. Her face would crack like broken porcelain and she'd try to make him angry so he'd get rough with her. It was toxic warfare. They were always trying to get an edge on one another, filing away some mean word, some hurtful action, so they could bring it up and draw blood with it later.

Mira used to tell people she liked starting fights because they'd have to make up afterwards, but that wasn't really true. She just liked to fight. It was the only time she could be as angry or spiteful or petty as she wanted. She didn't have to be perfect because Laxus wasn't everyone else. He wasn't Levy, or Erza, or Evergreen. He wasn't Elfman, or Makarov. They were the same in that way. They both understood how awful it was being the one everyone turned to. Being the standard, the strong one, the face of Fairy Tail. He knew what it was like to have to fix everything, to be the one everyone recognized, to pretend to care when you wanted to be anyone, anywhere else. To have to act a certain way, be a certain way, present a certain way. To be flawless. To be untouchable. There was always an asshole with a camera or a ballsy wizard that wanted to fight. None of them knew what they were getting into. Not really. Not like he and Mira did.

It was a tale as old as time, wasn't it? They had expectations to meet. Perfect boys and perfect girls have to fit their perfect roles. The only problem was Mirajane was so much better at it than he was, and she made sure he knew it every chance she got. He could pretend, though, for Gramps. For her. And then behind closed doors, they were all but tearing each other apart.

It wasn't all bad, of course. After all, they took solace in each other. It was the quiet moments that he had lived for. The times he'd hold her and they'd just be together. He'd tried to be what she wanted, he just never quite hit the mark. He didn't get jealous enough, and he was too jealous. He wasn't passionate enough, but his temper was too short. He was supposed to fight back, but he wasn't supposed to hurt her. Throw her around but don't feel guilty for it later. They were like two puzzle pieces that looked like they should fit but for some reason, no matter how you turned them, they didn't come together the right way. The picture didn't match up.

"Our breakups were always... violent." Laxus said, his mood souring. "Maybe I have a type. Gajeel also has a wicked right hook."

"Oh..." Mira said, the look in her eye fading immediately, "You two actually fought?"

"Not really," Laxus muttered into his hand, plucking at his bandage, "It was more like he had a meltdown and I just... stood there."

"Oh, Laxus," she said somberly. "You can't keep shutting down like that. It... it hurts."

"I can't get too riled up, either, Mira." he sighed.

"I would rather you strike me with lightning," she said with an inflection that spoke of how much she'd thought of it, "When you're quiet like that... you can't tell what's going on in your head."

Laxus's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"You're so cold." she said, blinking up at him, "You could be thinking anything, but you hide it so well. I always thought you must hate me and it made it worse."

"I never hated you..." he breathed, his chest feeling unbearably tight, "You think... you think he thinks I hate him?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him either. He has been gone a while, though." Mirajane sighed, and then her eyes sparked with determination, "I'm keeping my ears open, though. I'll figure out where he's run off to."

"If it would be anyone, it would be you," Laxus said, though he didn't feel much better.

"Maybe he went to see his therapist?" Levy offered, trying to be hopeful, "That always takes a while, doesn't it? He's just trying to collect his thoughts, I'm sure of it. Any day now, he'll be back."

Laxus's chest didn't feel tight anymore. It just hurt.

"The house is so quiet now," he said. He could feel Mira and Levy's stares, and he didn't like it, "He used to play his guitar in the garage, or turn on my record player when we didn't have anything else to do. It feels like he took all the music with him."

A pale hand rested atop his, and Laxus looked up to see Levy smiling at him, "He'll be back. Just give him a little time."

"Levy and Laxus sitting in a tree...!" Happy flew over their heads and they both snapped away from each other.

Levy stammered through something, blushing like a fresh apple. Laxus fought the urge to strike the Exceed right out of the sky. A growl worked its way up his throat, startling both women next to him. Right on cue, a fight broke out across the guild. Laxus heard Grey and Natsu start getting into it, dragging in Lucy, and then Erza. More and more of the guildhall began joining in, throwing chairs and bottles and falling into tables. The sudden racket did something to Laxus. He was suddenly furious, his heart hammering and pushing hot blood into his veins.

"Goddamn this place..." he muttered, digging his knuckle into his temple and shutting his eyes, attempting to wind himself down. He could feel his magic responding to his turbulent emotions. The molecules around him were starting to buzz. He was becoming frenetic, itching to make a move, to send his fist or maybe electricity into something, someone.

"Oi, Laxus!" Natsu yelled, less than a foot away from him. Laxus's eyes snapped open and he glared at other dragon slayer, "Fight me!"

"I'm not in the mood for your shit, Natsu," he warned. Electricity snaked up his arms, danced across his chest and snapped at the air around him, "Leave me alone."

"Come on, you never fight me! Fight me!" he challenged again, stepping closer so that now Laxus had to tilt his head back to keep his gaze.

Laxus clenched his fists and his teeth, letting out a tight breath as he tried to reign in his magic. The compulsion to send him flying had his legs feeling restless to charge him. Tendrils of electrical discharge slithered and bit towards the fire dragon, telegraphing his thoughts. He angled his body between Natsu and the girls protectively, possessively. He felt the way they shrank under his shadow and it made the shreds of his sanity pull tight, threatening to break.

If Gajeel were here, he'd fight the pinkette in a heartbeat. He square up, drawing up his iron fists and flexing, attempting to take up more space and show off. He could almost picture it, the way his spine would curve and the muscles of his back would move with sinuous grace. Laxus wished he was there to do it now, give him a haughty look as he fought Laxus's battles for him with a grin that could make a demon jealous. If Gajeel were here, Natsu wouldn't be in front of him right now, his pupils dilating as they honed in on him.

The fire dragon's nostrils flared. Sparks around his fists solidified to swirling flames as he stepped even closer, his smile fading away and twisting into something else, something hubristic and covetous. A demand for what was rightfully Laxus's. It made thunder roll in his stomach. How fucking dare he...

He was on his feet. They were chest to chest and Laxus stared down on him with contempt. Stillness crept into Laxus's tone, betraying deathly consequence, "Back off, Natsu."

"Fight me." Natsu demanded, his lip curling back to show his sharp teeth, teeth he rarely exposed like this. This wasn't something Natsu did. This was something Gajeel did. An animalistic show; a bestial threat.

Energy sizzled between them. Laxus felt his eye starting to throb. Something in his chest yearned for violence, to put Natsu in his place. Thunder rolled heavily over the guildhall, pressing everyone down as he wordlessly told Natsu what awaited him if he pushed further. The rowdy fight devolved into tense silence. Static that made the air feel like a heavy blanket fell over the guildhall, smothering them all alive. Everyone was staring at the two of them as fire danced up Natsu's arms, igniting his eyes.

Laxus felt Natsu's magic snap. His eyes tracked him as he lunged, a far cry from Laxus's strength and speed. It was laughable. Had he really thought he'd get the jump on him if he moved first? Laxus swung his fist and it connected with the side of his face, sending him straight down. Lightning struck him when he hit the ground, smashing through the ceiling and chewing up the floorboards as it spread outwards in search of harmony in the raging chaos. He could hear Natsu's scream and the painful cutoff of it when thunder clamored through the hall.

That was it. That was all it took. Natsu was shaking on the ground, electricity jumping across his skin where Laxus had charged every atom in his body with raw power that was still searching for equilibrium. His magic tumulted and shifted like an evil current as he lorded over him, anxiously awaiting the tiniest sign of defiance, watching for signs that he would attempt to stand. His magic all but screamed what his insides kept churning around inside of him. Submit.

A shock of blonde hair broke the rage shivering the air. Lucy tiptoed up to them, shooting him an apprehensive look as she slowly lowered herself down to Natsu's side. She laid her hand on his shoulder, trying to shake him awake. Watching it, Laxus's stomach iced through with frigid dread. He hastily dragged back in his influence like a child desperate to hide the mess they'd made. Static jumped from the still furious atmosphere and back into his skin. He released his fists, dropped his shoulders, and found he was out of breath. He hadn't pulled his punch. Why hadn't he pulled his punch?

Natsu groaned as he came to, pressing his palm to his forehead, "Mm... Lu...? What happened?"

"You idiot, you tried to fight Laxus," she hissed, but she was shooting Laxus a glare, "That was too far."

"Did I win?" Natsu grinned weakly.

"What do you think?" she snapped at him.

"Laxus..." Mira said at his side, "Are you... alright?"

"I... don't know." Laxus said slowly, his words hovering just above a whisper, "I don't know."