Erin had just bathed Emma and laid her down on her ridiculously soft yellow towel -one that she wished was made in adult size- that's spread across her bed. She uses the towel to rub over the baby's bottom before applying a healthy amount of unscented lotion to her hands and massaging it into her baby's folds. She rubbed the lotion between each of her baby's fingers, kneading it between each toe and massaging it into each crevice of her skin, not leaving a patch dry. Emma sticks her tongue out and squirms around leading to Erin to brush her fingertips over the baby's smooth belly, tickling her. Emma stretches her mouth open, as wide as it can go, showcasing the dimpled and gummy smile, -Erin's favorite feature on her baby. She then leans forward, and blows a raspberry into her baby's tummy, earning her another gummy smile and outstretched arms waving above her head before lowering back down and unintentionally gripping her mom's hair and yanking. Ouch, Erin's hand goes behind her head to release Emma's claws from her scalp. She raises her head once freed, and then quickly lowers it back down to press a kiss against the baby's cheek, she repeatedly does this until the strength of her baby's grip wraps around her hair again and she pulls even harder at the strands.
"Ouch," immediately Erin's hands go to her daughter's wrist, encouraging her to loosen her grip so she can slip her hair out of it, "there's no reason for you to be that strong." She gets her hair loose again, and then releases Emma's wrist, leaving her baby there smiling at her as if she was fully aware of what she'd just done, "you're going to give me a bald spot one day."
Emma didn't seem to care, she simply looked up at the ceiling, staring at the recessed lights, absolutely entranced by the brightness. Erin reaches for the outfit, gets the baby dressed and places her in the swing so mama could get ready. Emma is a good baby when she wants to be, and as of today, right now in this moment, she's great. Not a peep or a whine at all, and by the time Erin ruffles the top of Milo's head and ensures he has food and water, mama and baby are ready to brace the outside world. The warm air of the summer breeze embraced them, and knowing that it was only a few weeks until the seasons change, until Emma experiences her first fall, has her both wistful and somber at the thought of her girl growing up so freaking fast. She constantly reminds herself to enjoy these moments, both big and small, which is a part of the reason she had no hesitation in calling out of work today.
Erin pushes the stroller while dividing her time between making silly faces at her daughter to keep her entertained and watching where she's going. Emma appears to be more entertained by the toy dangling across her seat rather than her mom putting her pride aside in public to make goofy faces. Rolling her eyes because her daughter isn't paying her any mind, Erin chooses instead to focus solely on her path. And just as she does that, she spots something.
From the distance, she notices something under the wiper on her windshield, and her heart immediately sinks at the thought that she somehow got a ticket. Did she forget to put her parking pass around her mirror? She couldn't have because it usually stays there; she never moves it. Is she parked a little too close to a fire hydrant? No, the nearest one is across the street. She looks around for a no parking sign, a tow-zone sign, something that may explain the parking ticket, but the only signs present are reserved for residents; the sole purpose of those signs are to protect the nearest spots to the building so visitors and customers to the nearby stores do not take them. Erin is already geared up and prepared to fight the ticket in court, making up her mind and refusing to pay another cent to the city, but when she gets closer to her car, she realizes that the piece of paper is just that, -a piece of paper. She kicks the lock on the wheel of the stroller to keep it in place and then lifts the windshield wiper to read the note.
Stay away from him.
Immediately knowing who it was from and why it was left for her, she balls it up and throws it to the ground, stomping on it for a second in order to release the pent up frustration. She has absolutely had it. She minds her business, cares for her kid, works to keep a roof over her head and food in Milo's bowl and this is what she gets for that. It's mind boggling, truly delusional on Abby's part. Erin doesn't want that woman in her life, and it's starting to make her angry with Jay for him even continuing to allow Abby to have such a role in his own life. She wants to shred that note and shove it down her throat, and maybe she would have if she didn't already ball it up and practically smush it to the ground and into the nearest sewer drain. She questions when this note could have been left. The week since going back to work, she's been carpooling with Kim and had no reason to go to her car or even drive it. That's honestly the least of her concerns though. The biggest one being that a fucking warning was left on her windshield. Suddenly remembering there's a need to salvage as much of it as she can, and figuratively kicking herself for acting out on emotion, she grabs the handle on the baby's stroller to balance herself as she lowered to the ground, slipped her fingers between the grate as best she could and attempted to reach for the proof. Come on, come on, she silently chants to herself, but her fingers barely brush against the tip and when she snags a portion, the grate makes it tear. She pulls up a corner, it's stained with who knows what, but it doesn't stop her from pocketing it.
Emma frets, drawing her mother's attention back to the stroller. She pushed the hood back, masking on a phony smile to cheer her baby up. It does the trick, earning her a gummy smile, one that has been a frequent occurrence to her baby's face lately. She reigns in her emotions, running her fingers down her baby's tummy, coaxing another smile from her lips, before turning to the torn note in her hand. And her mind is made up, she'll make a pitstop and bring Emma along for the ride because there's no way in hell she can let this blow over and act like this woman didn't come to her home and leave a fucking warning on her car.
"Alright Ems," Erin has mastered the art of buckling her daughter in the car seat, folding down the stroller and slipping it right into her trunk and then getting in the car, "whew," she leans her head back against the headrest, and then glances over her shoulder to see Ems kicking her legs, feet covered in fluffy socks as she plays with the arch toy entangled with the handle of the carseat, the hanging toy keys and colorful rings keeping her attention occupied as she waves her hand around to hit it. All of which is unintentional since Erin noticed lately that Emma has become completely fascinated and absolutely obsessed with her hands. Mama can't blame her though since Erin is absolutely obsessed with every part of Emma too.
Erin wraps her hands around the steering wheel, tightening her grip and then loosening up, all in an effort to cool herself down. The last thing she wants or needs to do is drive while filled with a blind rage. She shoves the torn piece of note into her pocket again after looking at it, preserving what little evidence she has before buckling herself up and starting her vehicle. Plugging Jay's address into the system, she changes gears and pulls off, hoping Abby was home to hear more than a piece of what's on Erin's mind. She taps a rhythmic beat with her fingertips into the steering wheel every time she approaches a red or yellow light, it's a sensory technique she hasn't used in years, but now is as best a time as any to start that up again. She needs the distraction because she absolutely hates driving while angry, and the technique only works halfway to her destination but fortunately for her, she gets a call and Stella Severide's name coming across the screen in her car has her immediately pressing the green button to answer, "Hey," she says in relief because having a conversation about anything but Abby will definitely keep the woman off her mind.
"Hey babe," Stella greets, and Erin hears the chatter of Firehouse 51 in the background, "I hope you're not busy, but I had a quick question. Are you at work?"
"No, I'm off, I'll be back in the office tomorrow."
"Okay," Stella pauses, and Erin hears mumbling in the background telling her that she's having a second conversation most likely pertaining to Erin's answer, " I'll just call the main CPS line."
Before Stella could hang up, Erin chimes in, "Is everything okay? What's wrong?"
"We responded to a fire," the background gets quiet which tells Erin that Stella must have stepped away for more privacy, "a three story house, four kids were left alone."
"How old was the oldest kid?"
Stella sighs, "Seven," which only makes Erin pout and regret asking for a distraction from Abby.
"Are they okay? Where were the parents?"
"Dad died a year ago; mom left them home to score," and Erin curses under her breath, "Yeah I feel you on that," Stella agrees, letting out a humorless laugh, "As for the kids, the one year old didn't make it, the three year old is in critical condition but it's honestly not looking too good and the last two got the greenlight to be discharged. We didn't want to call CPS because they'll be separated and they've been through enough already, I was hoping if I called you, then you might be able to pull some kind of strings to keep them together, but that's okay, I'll just uh, I'll figure something out. Be safe out there, and kiss that baby for me."
"Wait-" Erin says before Stella has the chance to hang up, "I'm driving right now, but when I get to my destination, I'm going to text you a number, call them and tell them I gave it to you and what's going on. Tell them to reach out to Irina Franklin, see if she has the room for two siblings and tell him what happened so he can relay it to her, I'm sure she'll make some room."
"Ugh Erin, I love you so much!" Stella exclaimed, absolutely thankful for her friend's effort, "I swear if I wasn't already married," she left the thought hanging for Erin to fill in the blank, causing her to laugh as she approached the nearest parking spot she could find to Jay's building, "Seriously Erin," Stella grows serious, " I can't begin to explain how much I appreciate this. Those kids are stuck at the hip right now and they've been through so much already, I can't imagine what separating them would do."
"No worries at all, thanks for calling me. Irina is one of my frequent foster moms I reach out to when I have a last minute placement. She's really big on keeping siblings together so I'm hoping she has the room. Keep me posted, and if that doesn't work out, I'll think of a plan B."
"Okay babe, will do. Bye."
"Bye!" Erin hangs up, shuts off her car and then sends Stella the contact information for Kenny Rixton just before she texts Kenny to be on the lookout for a call from a friend of hers. Once he responds with a thumb up emoji, she pockets her phone and turns in her seat to notice Emma is no longer playing with her hands or the hanging toys, her little bug has chosen the better option of taking a nap, one that she makes look very appealing.
Erin faces forward, truly appreciating the distraction but not enough to be happy about what those kids are going through. She thinks of her own baby, imagining such trauma being inflicted upon her and her being unable to escape. She shakes her head, physically trying to knock the thought out of her head and then exits the car. Going to the trunk, and like the professional she came to be, unfolds the stroller and unstraps her baby without even waking her up. It took weeks of practice but she at least got that part down. Erin unbuckles Emma and swiftly sets her inside the stroller, and becomes completely surprised that her baby didn't wake up or even bother to peek her eyes open to at least see where they're at. Erin seems to have mastered the swift transfer from car seat to stroller. She definitely has this parenting down, it seems like mama has this newborn parenting down pat. Yet, Erin pushing the stroller into the building to confront Abby is questionable enough that her parenting decisions definitely deserve to be side-eyed.
Chancing one last glance at her daughter fast asleep in her stroller, realizing that once she does this, there will be no going back, but Erin powers through, convincing herself that she's doing this more for her daughter than anyone else. Her only hesitation comes with the fact that her daughter is here, a part of her now regretting that decision and wishing that maybe she could have dropped Emma off at her mom's place before coming here. But, she's here now, and if she leaves then she'll lose the nerve to do this and Erin would rather not have that happen. Besides Emma is young, she'll never remember this, so she knows her daughter won't be mentally scarred by a rash decision her mom is currently making, and as for her physical safety, Erin would happily smile behind a mugshot photo if Abby even thinks of touching one strand on her baby's head. She has no worries there, especially because it seems like Abby would do anything and everything to keep Jay, and hurting Emma would guarantee she'll be on the first train back to Wisconsin, if not, then decaying in an unmarked grave. There doesn't seem to be any cons in what she's doing, but maybe that's the red anger clouding her vision and preventing her from seeing or having any type of rational mind.
A part of her did hesitate, and question whether she should be having this conversation with Jay, but the way her heart is pounding, the redness in her face, and cloud of anger still circulating through her foggy mind would have her ready to curse him out the second he inevitably tried to defend her like he always did. Like he ALWAYS does.
Without wasting any more time, Erin bangs on the apartment door, feeling completely unbothered by the noise she's making even knowing that it's potentially disturbing the neighbors. She hopes the ruckus causes her to open the door sooner rather than later but that would cause Abby to have to care about someone other than herself. She pauses her knocking, giving a moment for Abby to come answer the door. Erin could hear the shuffling inside, could even see a partial shadow under the crack of the door telling her that Abby is at the peephole, yet the door isn't unlocked and opened. Abby isn't fooling anyone, she's home, she has nothing better to do.
"Abby," Erin bangs louder and harder, "open the door! I'm not leaving until you open it!" Another knock, this one harder than the last one, "we can have this conversation now or I can sit out here and wait for Jay to get off from work so he can hear what I have to say!" And that seems to do the trick because both locks are unlocked and the door is cracked open.
"Is everything okay?" Abby plays innocent, opening the door enough to poke her head out.
"No everything isn't okay," Erin pushes the door further open and lets herself in, rolling the stroller inside and locking the wheels, "everything is far from okay but you already know this."
Abby plays dumb, she plays confused and innocent, acting as if she has absolutely no idea what in the world Erin is talking about. In her effort to keep up appearances, she makes her way to the stroller, peering inside to see Emma sleeping. Abby holds what looks to be a genuine smile and waves at Emma, "Hi baby," she blows a kiss until she feels Erin turn her away from the baby and towards her, "What's your problem?" Abby exclaims, ripping her arm from Erin's hold.
"Don't talk to her, talk to me!"
"I will if you tell me what this is about!"
"You know exactly why I'm here and it has everything to do with a little note left to me!"
A blank stare crosses her face, followed by a blink, "Erin, you're not making any sense."
"Of course this is the route you're choosing to go down," she retorts, and then adds a second comment more so to herself than Abby, "why am I not surprised? I should have guessed this. You may have mastered the art of throwing rocks and hiding your hands with Jay, but not with me, Abby. I see through you. The act you put on, I want you to know I'm not falling for it."
"Are you sure you're okay? I'm getting a bit concerned for you." Abby has the audacity to extend her hand and gently squeeze Erin's shoulder as if she's offering comfort, "I can't imagine the toll it must be taking to be a single mother and having to do everything by yourself."
Erin waves her hand away. She absolutely does not appreciate being gaslit. Just because Abby is playing innocent doesn't mean she actually is. She moves further into the apartment, walking with such confidence that reminds Abby that Erin is just as familiar with this place as she is. She helps herself to a seat on the couch, crossing her legs and folding her arms, "I wanted to be in and out but something tells me I'm going to be here for a little minute. Abby I saw the note, I saw the warning, and guess what? I'm not going to listen to it. You're not my dad, you can't tell me who I can and can't be around. And Jay's an adult, one with all of his faculties, even if I decided to cowardly take the threat in your note seriously, he'll still be around. There's no force great enough to keep him away from Emma, and news flash Abby, we're a package deal."
She can tell that last part got to her, but Abby is doing everything in her power to act unfazed. Her expression is flat, her exterior is chilling, and Erin notices the woman's fingers tap melodically against her thigh in an effort to calm herself. Erin found some great thrill in that, in being able to use her words to get under Abby's skin. Call her a bully, call her a mean girl, call her whatever you want, but Abby has been pushing her buttons since the night she met her at the bonfire and this is months worth of anger pent up and finally being released. Her therapist in New York wouldn't be happy about this, but since her last session prior to Erin moving out of state, and then realizing she couldn't resume sessions because her therapist wasn't licensed in Illinois, this was the next best thing. And best of all, it's free. No co-pay whatsoever.
"Erin-"
"Are you upset that you failed to run me off?" She interrupts; she didn't come here to hear what Abby has to say, she's here solely to get this off her chest, "Why would I even listen to a warning on a note you left on my car when you don't even have the guts to tell me that face to face?"
"I'm not afraid of you, Erin."
"Well that's great then because now's your opportunity to warn me to my face." She rises to her feet and moves closer to Abby, only for the latter of the two to take a step back, leading Erin to call her bluff, "And that's exactly what I thought. You're crazy, and you need a lot of help, and even though you might be too much of a coward to tell me that warning to my face, I'm not. I'm warning you Abby, you don't want to try me. You'll end up regretting it."
Erin rises to her feet, suddenly realizing that during her entire monologue, she had been sitting, at rest, in such a vulnerable state that if Abby truly was a threat, she could have taken complete advantage of that. Maybe Abby is afraid of her despite her saying she's not. Or maybe Abby is up to something, that seems to be more likely. Erin doesn't think about it long though because that'll require her to give Abby more energy and time than she's already given her, so instead she moves around her to unlock the wheel on the stroller, realizing that it's nowhere else this conversation will lead so it's best she leaves. Only Abby didn't have the same idea. She decides to move around, body partially blocking the front door, now her own arms crossed over her chest with her head tilted to the side, "You know you can't just barge into someone's house and threaten them. I'm sure you're used to getting your way and getting everything you want but that doesn't work here. This is my home too, and next time you need to call before showing up." She takes a small, measured step forward, "You come here, accusing me of doing something I didn't do and then you threaten me. I'm honestly growing concerned for Emma being in your care."
"You're fucking crazy."
"It might be best if Emma stays with her dad for a bit. I think sleep deprivation is getting to you."
A humorless chuckle escapes Erin, "If you even think for one second I'm going to let your craziness anywhere near my daughter without me being there then you've really lost it."
"Erin, I'm really growing concerned for you. Maybe you should think about talking to someone? I mean, you're believing things that just aren't true. I'm coming from a place of concern. Maybe you should consider it? We take Emma a few days out of the week to give you a break. I think that option would be better for you rather than the alternative."
Out of curiosity, she entertains Abby's thought, "The alternative?"
"Yeah, me and Jay going for full custody. I mean considering Jay is the biological father, and if she's in his custody, she'll be in a two parent household vs. one. It'll be considerably safer, what with you losing your mind and becoming slightly delusional and everything."
"I suggest you stop talking."
"Delusional and a bit aggressive?"
"You have a lot of nerve writing that note and acting like you're the victim in this."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, for all I know, you wrote that note!"
"This may be a really big ask, but I need you to try really hard and think for me. Does any of what you just said make any sense? Forging a note so I can come here on my day off with my kid in tow to confront you about an alleged fake note is mind boggling, Abby. The fact that you're able to even think of that being a possibility tells me that type of shit wouldn't even be a reach when it comes to something you'd probably do. I really can't wait for the day Jay smartens up and leaves your ass. I might even make mommy and me shirts for the special occasion."
"Ouch, that hurt," Abby places her hand above her heart, "So, you're not just delusional and a bit aggressive but mean and a bully too."
"Your insults don't faze me girl."
"I'm not insulting you Erin, I'm describing you."
"I see what kind of game you're trying to play."
"Pardon?"
"I'll use simple terms so you can better comprehend what I'm saying. Jay may be blind to your lies but I'm not. I see right through you. You may be able to manipulate him, to bully him and play the whole sympathy role but that doesn't work on me Abby. I don't care about you enough to want better for you. I do want better for him though. And you're not it. I just can't wait until Jay realizes that too. The day he wakes up and opens his eyes to see how much of a burden you've been on him since you followed him to Chicago will be a day of celebration! It's only a matter of time before your good girl facade starts to slip and it's only a matter of time before he kicks you to the curb after seeing the real you." Erin stops, and releases a deep breath. Getting all of that off of her chest felt so. fucking. good. Nothing would top this feeling today. It was a feeling money really couldn't buy, and that's what made it all the more special.
Abby manages to hide the sting, pretending as if Erin's words didn't hurt. It's a childish game they're playing, trying to see who can dig the deepest. Emma is Erin's weakness and Jay is Abby's. Both of them are fully aware that the other person knows their weakness, and despite Abby wanting to latch on and use Erin's, she holds back, knowing that it would cause problems for her with Jay later if she did. Instead, she straightened her stance and held her chin up, pushing the unfazed persona that appears to be fooling Erin. She may think she has Abby all figured out, but Abby still has a few tricks and maneuvers up her sleeve.
"You're making up lies to try and hurt my feelings."
"Look around you Abby," Erin throws her arms outward for the added effect to show that no one's there, "you're clinging to a man who doesn't want you because you don't have anyone. No one is here, no one must care because if they did they'd tell you to find some dignity girl. I mean, chasing after a man that cannot make it anymore perfectly clear that he doesn't want you is the lowest of the low. You want me to stay away from the same man that had a kid on you, the same man that is only with you because you threaten to hurt yourself every time he wants to leave, the same fucking man that I've screwed multiple times since my baby was conceived. That man."
Erin knows that a lot of what she just said was uncalled for, she knows that she shouldn't have outed the few rendezvous she has had with Jay behind Abby's back, and she definitely should not have stooped so low to hit Abby below the belt. This is a perfect example as to why you shouldn't speak or act out of emotion. Erin is blinded by rage, and while that doesn't justify all she has just said, she's human and no one could pay her any amount of money to care right now.
"I think," Abby swallows, firming her chin to hold back the tears that Erin is pretty sure are phony, "You've overstayed your welcome. I think you should leave."
"Gladly," Erin retorts, turning on her heel and grabbing the handle of the stroller, pushing it forward until she reaches the door. Pausing for a moment before suddenly turning around to face Abby one more time, "This conversation was long overdue but it was finally time we had it. Now stay away from me, from my home, my car, my family, my friends and most importantly, my kid…or else," she's out of the apartment. She doesn't hear the door shut behind her, so when she gets to the elevator and looks over her shoulder to see Abby partially standing half in the hallway and the other half in the apartment, smiling from ear to ear, she feels off. The look on her face contrasted the sad one she wore mere moments ago when she asked her to leave. Erin stands in the hall dumbfounded, slightly confused by the sudden change she just witnessed.
The elevator doors opened, and just before Erin can push the stroller inside, Abby speaks, "Thank you for visiting Erin, just next time make sure you call first. I don't like surprises."
Deciding to not give Abby the pleasure of another response, she wheels the stroller into the elevator, and repeatedly presses the closed door button until the doors finally shut. She still has errands to run but if she's being honest she's not in the mood to do them anymore. Maybe she'll do them during her lunch break at work tomorrow? Or if Emma isn't fussy, she can convince her mother to watch her for an hour longer so she can knock those errands out.
Once Abby is back in the apartment, once the doors are locked, she goes to her recordings, plays back the audio, splices it to cut down the beginning and the end until it has just enough details to get her point across. She clicks on Jay's name, and sends the audio without a second thought, adding the caption, -Erin paid me an unannounced visit. Once the audio is sent, she tosses her phone on the couch and goes to grab lunch from the kitchen, knowing now is the waiting game. She throws leftovers into the microwave, and plugs in enough time to get the meal warm. She watches the time as it counts down to when her food is ready and when her little message hopefully unravels the dynamic between her and Jay. Abby doesn't mind doing it the hard way.
She only wished she could be a fly on the way when Jay watched that video and inevitably reached out to Erin. The microwave goes off just as Jay presses play, and by the time she's finished her meal, he has finished the video. Her phone rings unsurprisingly, and when she answers, her eyes are watery and she's hyperventilating, "Jay!"
"What the hell happened?" He's confused. The video didn't provide enough context clues but Abby isn't too surprised by that considering it's her that spliced it and cut out a few details.
She hiccups, barely able to piece her words together. And Jay thinks she's truly affected by Erin's visit but really Abby doesn't want to lie herself into a corner she can't make her way out of. And once Jay realizes he won't get much out of Abby when she's this hysterical, he hangs up.
And now suddenly the tears are gone and she's breathing normally. She goes to grab her journal, one of the things that truly does cheer her up, and she opens it to a blank page, noticing that she's written and drawn in it so much that she only has a few blank pages left and she grabs a pen, deciding to scribble the words her mind keeps repeating in order to work out the anger that she feels towards Erin just showing up out of the blue with her fucking baby at tow, absolutely unannounced. Abby scribbles the pen so hard into the page that it tears, forcing her to rip it out and shred it, and now she's one page closer to finishing the journal.
She's angry, but she finds peace in believing that Jay will defend her. He'll protect her from that psycho. All the proof is in the recording, and she's prepared to defend it, all while Erin is unprepared to be blindsided. Erin drops her purse on the coffee table and then sets the carrier on the couch, Emma now wide awake, her green eyes glistened with the tears she just finished crying. She's bored, restless and wants to be held so once Erin scoops her up, the crying stops. She misses the call, and assumes that if it's important then they'll call back.
Her phone rings.
It must be important. Erin sees Jay's name and doesn't hesitate to answer. She places the phone between her shoulder and ear, "Hello."
"What made you go to my place? You knew I wouldn't be home! Why'd you go see her? Why'd you talk to her like that, Erin?! You wanted to hurt her feelings. What is wrong with you?!"
She's truly caught off guard. Questions running a mile a minute in her brain as she tries to catch up to what's even happening, and how does he even know about that, "Let me guess, Abby told you all about our conversation." The audio call soon turns to video when he Facetimes her and she answers. She tries to lay Emma down for tummy time, but her baby wasn't having it. She wanted to be just as much a part of the conversation as her parents.
"She did more than tell me Erin, she showed me. There's a video, she recorded you! How could you say those things? How could you tell her what we-" he pauses, desperately trying to reign himself in especially since he's at work, "Look we probably can't talk long. Voight will be coming in at any second with a search warrant. I can't even guess why you would say something like that. I don't appreciate you threatening my girlfriend," and she'd be lying if she said that last part didn't sting, because he couldn't actually be seriously still thinking of her as his girlfriend after everything they've been through, but she bites her tongue, knowing now isn't the time to say that, "I thought Abby's behavior was the only thing I had to worry about, not yours too."
"Jay," she tries to stay calm, not wanting to get worked up and yell with Emma in her arms. Babies can feel tension and the last thing she needs is an inconsolable infant, "I don't appreciate the way you're talking to me right now, throwing accusations and-"
"Oh so you don't appreciate me doing to you exactly what you just did to Abby," he interrupts.
And maybe he had a point, only a little one, considering he's on the outside looking in. But, she's willing to bet that he doesn't know the full story. He wouldn't be coming at her like this if he did.
"You're upset," she states the obvious, shuffling Emma from one arm to the other, "I get that but your anger is misplaced and probably misguided right now."
"Don't do that. Don't go all therapist on me. You're not a therapist."
It's been very few times that she has been on the receiving end of his anger. Enough times that she can count on one hand, and she never particularly liked being on this end of his wrath. He's protective, she gets that, so is she, and for some strange reason, he's convinced himself that Abby needs and is deserving of his protection.
"Are you even listening to me right now?!" She didn't even realize she zoned out.
"I'm listening. Just watch your tone, don't yell at me like I'm a child."
"You don't see the hypocrisy of that statement at all, do you?"
A flip-phone would be really nice to have right now so she could slam it shut on this entire conversation. Emma frets, and Jay goes silent, reigning his emotions in after being reminded their baby is nearby. She cools long enough for Erin to get a bigger point across.
"Do you want to know the reason why I went over there? Or would you prefer to continue to assume that I just have it out for your psycho girlfriend?"
"Erin-" he sighs, not appreciating the name-calling. They're all adults here.
"Which one?" She doesn't back down. She's pretty riled up, and while going off on Abby tamed that emotion, Jay was slowly but surely bringing it back.
"Okay well, tell me, why did you go over there?"
"Your girlfriend left a note on my car, warning me to stay away from you."
There's a pregnant pause, one Erin can only assume is there because Jay is thinking. He's obviously caught off guard and hadn't been expecting to hear that. He probably feels foolish, as he should, and Erin will not be the first to line up to convince him that he's not.
"Abby never mentioned that."
"Of course she didn't, Jay. That goes against the perfect princess image she tries to portray for you. That girl is as fake as press-on nails and for some reason the shit that you picked up in order to take and pass that detective's exam is just tossed out the window when it comes to her! And I'm not trying to be mean to you or ride your ass about this but something has to give, Jay! Your crap is draining into mine. I didn't bring Abby into my life, I'm not keeping her in it, you are! If you don't want me telling her about herself, telling her what you're too afraid to say then keep her away from me, keep her away from Emma and do not mention her around me! Majority if not all of the arguments we've ever had have been about her. You don't see a problem with that?"
Erin has been angry with Abby in the past multiple times, but Jay can tell this time is different. He rises from his desk and goes to the breakroom, shutting the door quietly behind him for a semblance of privacy. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and for the first time he's happy that he has therapy tomorrow. He needs Milah more than anything right now.
"Abby shouldn't have left you that note. I'll talk to her about it."
"How about you approach her about this the same way you just approached me?"
He did come off strong. He was a bit intense. The case they're working on is pulling at the heart strings and when Abby sent that video clip, screen dark because it was laid flat on a surface recording the audio in his living room, he couldn't take it. He thought he'd have to worry about that from Abby, not from Erin and it even made him question if he knew Erin as well as he thought. He takes a seat on the couch, and looks down at her face on the screen. She's obviously trying to reign in her emotions, not wanting to go off on him like she did Abby. He knows she's capable of it, and despite the fact that she's smaller, lighter and shorter than him, she scares him.
"I'm sorry," he licks his lips, "I shouldn't have been so accusatory."
"No you shouldn't have been," she asserts.
"But," he jumps in to continue, "you shouldn't have gone to my home and confronted Abby. You should have called me about the note." She's mature enough to recognize that he may be right. And when she doesn't respond to that, he takes her silence as agreement, "I'll be off in about an hour. Can you send me a picture of the note? I'll talk to Abby when I get home."
Mindlessly, without any thought, Erin reaches into her pockets, feels the slip of paper and pulls it out only to remember the remaining details of the last few hours. It's a torn corner, and she thinks back to the last time she saw the full page together, "I can't."
"You can't what?"
"Send you a picture of the note."
"...and why not?"
"I threw it out."
A silence falls between them, and she mentally kicks herself for being so dumb and full of emotion that she didn't think before acting. She knows better than this. She does better than this. It's something about already not liking Abby, then knowing she came to her home and left a note on her car, and then having her kid with her when she saw the note, it struck so many nerves that she saw red and treated that paper the way she wanted to treat Abby.
"I'm not trying to be accusatory or anything, but why would you throw out the one thing that would prove everything you're saying?"
"Are you trying to say I'm lying about this?"
"No, no of course not," he jumps in because that's the last thing he wants her to believe, "I'm just saying if I confront Abby without a note, she'll deny it. It'll be your word against hers and right now she has all the proof in that phone. This would not hold up in court."
"Well lucky for me we're not in court or going to court. I have no reason to make this up!"
"I mean…it's no secret that you hate her guts."
"Hate would require me to have a feeling towards her and I don't have that. I'm more indifferent, and I don't care if I like you or not, I'm not going to accuse you of doing something you didn't do."
"I think maybe we should just drop this."
"Of course you do."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm just saying, I'm not surprised. You have a backbone at work, you have one with Eric, you even have one with me, but for some reason that woman scares you."
"She doesn't scare me."
"Then why haven't you broken up with her?"
"...maybe because I don't want to."
A silence falls between them. Both of them know that was a lie but Erin does start to question the validity of assuming it's a lie. She gets caught in her mind and over-think. Maybe this was the actual truth? Actions speak louder than words and in the months she's known him, his words would say he wants out but his actions never followed. Maybe she's the one being strung along? Maybe Abby will get exactly what she wants in the end? Wow. That stung. And if it wasn't for the baby in her arms, sucking on her baby fingers, she'd probably argue, but she's growing tired of repeating herself. She's growing tired of going through the same routine, over and over again, and if something didn't change then they'd be destined to repeat this cycle.
Erin swallows, and then clears her throat, "I think maybe it'll be best if we skip you spending the night this week. And maybe set some clearer boundaries between us, I think the ones we have are a little blurred…and that's not fair for either one of us."
He wants to argue, but for Emma's sake, he agrees. Space would do them some good. The last thing Emma needs is to feel the tension between her parents. She deserves better than that. She deserves better than them.