Hello, another story from me and back (after a very long break) to come back to this wonderful fandom with a new story.
So yeah this is massively AU. I don't really have a lot of background notes in the works in terms of the timing for this story, I am going to put it about seven to eight years before the first season, also I am not an adoption/medical expert nor an expert on teenage parents in another state so I don't know how accurate this is going to be.
I know I have made Mamma Reagan the enemy in this story, I am choosing to make her the villain of this story because A. we needed one and B. She's not really a character I ever write so it was easy. I am also choosing to write that her reaction to Jamie and the pregnancy on the same day she got the diagnosis for her cancer. Again this is AU so if she is a bit OCC...believe me she pays the price later on. Hopefully this story begins to make more sense as we get into it.
I don't know when I will be able to update, it used to be weekly but that was before I got a job so...I will try and update when I can. I predict this little story will be seventeen (ish) chapters.
Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine.
Please Read and Review and let me know what you think when you get a chance!
AU for Trigger Warnings for Cancer, underage pregnancy, medical issues and a lot of swearing-I swear a lot in my stories so if that is something that you struggle with them please keep that in mind.
And yes...Eddie makes an appearance at some point...I just don't know when.
Spelling and Grammar are never my strongest points and so please keep that in mind as you read.
There's A Place Where Lost Things Go
Chapter 2-One Mistake
Jamie is back in New York and with Harrison running a fever and it being winter he takes his son to a clinic. There he meets a very pretty blonde nurse called Linda.
He'd forgotten.
Here Jamie was, New York born and bread and had forgotten after a year and a half just how cold New York was in winter. Shivering in his too thin jacket he stood in front of the clinic and wondered if he was brave enough to go in. He was always fifty, fifty about these places. He would get the help he needed but there would always be some do good person who would try and get the story out of him of why he was here, why he was alone and why he had a child with him. The whole song and dance is so predicable it makes his whole body hurt.
He chews his bottom lip for a second and tries to think. He's hungry, so hungry that he can't get his brain to work over his son's tears. Harrison has a fever, has had one for a while now and Jamie's not stupid. He knows that's not a good thing, if he was in California he wouldn't think twice, the problem is he's not, he's in New York and the reality is that he is struggling. He doesn't know what the hell to do. He doesn't know how long his father's reach as Police Commissioner goes. He doesn't know if he goes in and gives his name as Jamie Reagan how soon the game will be up.
Suddenly more than anything he wants his brothers…actually fuck that more than anything he wants Danny. Danny would know what to do. Danny would know what to do and more to the point he would tell him in that way Danny had with no hesitation, no questions asked. Joe would be the same, Erin too. A lack of decision making was not a Reagan trait.
Then again was he even a Reagan anymore?
Harrison let out a wail and Jamie winced against the noise. Already people were looking and he didn't know—
"Hey there sweetie you okay?"
He started backwards so violently he and his son nearly became roadkill.
The woman standing there was a few years older than him with blonde hair just gracing her shoulders. Her eyes were very blue and her smile was very kind. She seemed to all the world a nurse down to her blue scrubs and a jacket hastily thrown over them. Jamie stared at her uncomprehendingly for a moment taking in the diamond on her finger.
"Oh dear" she said reaching out and stroking Harrison's cheek. "Someone is not a happy bunny is he?"
"He's running a fever and I don't know…" he trailed off as she nodded feeling Harrison's warm face.
"Well then you came to the right place. You wanna come inside and we can take a look at the both of you? Get you a hot meal if you want?"
"I don't have any money"
"Hon that's why they call this a free clinic"
"I don't want anyone to know where I am."
She eyed him for a second and then.
"Well…we don't ask questions if we don't have too. I won't lie darling you look like you could do with someone fighting your corner—"
For a second he was so tempted to say Danny's name. Danny he was sure would help him, maybe even take him in. Danny who was with the Marines when he had been thrown out. Danny who had only had six months left before he made the decision to get out or re up. Maybe he was back.
Maybe he would help.
Or maybe their Mom had gotten to him too. God knows there had never been any big searches for him had they?
And again it fed back into the swirling vortex of darkness and bitterness that came from his hatred of his mother, of his distrust of his family, his father especially.
Fuck.
"Nobody" he said quietly. "I don't know…I have a brother but I just…I don't know if he's stateside. My Mom made it pretty clear if I wanted my son I had to leave"
The woman hummed but said nothing. Instead she patted him on the arm. "Come on sweetie let's get him checked out okay? What's your little ones name"
"Harrison"
"Harrison huh? Nice"
He followed her out of the cold into the warmth of the clinic and he sagged onto the bed she pointed him at Harrison warm in his lap. Now he was out of the cold which kept him awake most of the time he found that he was exhausted and drained and shivering and he wanted nothing more to do than to go to sleep.
But that was a very stupid thing to do. Jamie might not have been in school for a year and a half but he still knew how hypothermia worked.
"My name's Linda honey what's yours"
"Jamie. Jamie Reagan"
It was out his mouth a conditioned response before he could stop himself and her eyes snapped up to his so fast he knew she had made the connection.
"No" he muttered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, I have to go, I have to go" he grabbed Harrison startling him and it set of another wail but he hopped off the bed grabbing his bag before she wedged herself in front of him hands up in a gesture of surrender.
"Jamie it's okay—"
"It's not, they'll take him away from me I don't—"
"I know Danny"
It shocked him still Harrison still fussing against his neck.
"What?"
She nodded clearly relieved that he had stopped moving. And with one hand still up in the air she tapped her ring.
Jamie blinked.
"Really?"
He didn't mean for it to come out as insulting as it no doubt did but she didn't judge him for it. Instead she smiled at him.
"Danny Regan? Last nine months. Romantic sod actually proposed high on painkillers."
Jamie snorted. "Sounds like Danny"
"Yeah well…he's back now. He's going to become a cop, so he says"
"Good for him"
"He's been looking for you"
He shook his head the denial firm on his lips.
"No he hasn't"
"Yes he has. That's why he hasn't took the test. Won't do it until he finds you. He came home about six weeks after you—"
"Were disowned"
She frowned and he laughed.
"Ah you've been told the Mary Reagan special" he spat. "Let me guess, I was the disgusting disappointment of the family who left at his own will to raise the bastard with the slut?"
"No" she said not at all phased by his outburst. "I don't know the full story. Danny…well…he came home and then he left again to find you. Got as far as your ex's parents and then the trail went cold. They didn't give you up. They didn't know where you were so he spent three months in California searching for you but it's a big state and you don't have any documents, then when Mary got sick Frank asked him to come home—"
"And he went?"
"That's when he met me. He didn't…his Mom…he made it clear he wasn't…he was so mad at her Jamie I think if Frank hadn't have begged him he wouldn't have gone to see her at the end. He barely made it through the funeral. He…he was so mad. He hated her at the end. So did Joe"
"You know Joe?"
"Course I know Joe. Know Joe and Danny a bit more than Erin but I've met all of them. Jamie listen to me your son is sick. I know you don't have any reason to trust me but please let me get a Doctor to look at him."
"He has a fever"
"I don't think it's just a fever Jamie…I…I think something is wrong, I promise you I won't call anyone if you don't want me too—I think you should call Danny I won't lie but I won't call anyone if you don't want me to but please…I think Harrison needs to be checked out."
He didn't want too. Every instinct in him was crying out for him to get the fuck out of here and far away but he also couldn't. The second she said that his son might be sick he was routed into place. He couldn't move.
And Harrison couldn't stop screaming.
"Please" he said into the brown hair. "Please buddy just stop…give Daddy a minute to process"
He didn't know how to deal with the fact that his brother had been looking for him all this time. He didn't know how to process that he'd had someone in his corner. He didn't know if Danny would have took him and his son in, didn't know if he had a safe place to go but Jamie knew deep down, deep, deep down that he was tired of going from one place to the next with no plan. He was sixteen he felt like an old man and he was tired. He wanted someone to take care of him for a chance as selfish as that sounded.
Linda came back with the Doctor who was tall with the kind of hair that teenage boys dreamed off getting. He had bright blue eyes and he smiled at them both as if Jamie was not the first teenage runaway he had seen and would not be the last.
"Hello there Jamie, Harrison, my name is Doctor Shepherd. I hear someone isn't feeling too well"
"He's had the fever for three days"
"And the rash?"
"Two."
The Doctor nodded. "Jamie did you have Harrison vaccinated?"
"Vaccinations require paperwork I don't have paperwork and I wasn't in a position to get it." he replied in a dead tone. He knew this was going to happen and he could have laughed at the look that passed between Doctor and nurse if he wasn't so fucking tired of the whole thing.
"Jamie…I think we need to get Harrison to hospital"
He could have laughed again.
"Hospital…you mean social workers?" He turned to look at Linda. "So this is how you call Danny huh?"
She shook her blonde head.
"Jamie this has nothing to do with Danny. I would love to call him for you believe me but this is about Harrison, your son has the measles."
He stared at her uncomprehendingly.
"Measles?"
"Measles" the Doctor repeated. "It's in the early stages but Jamie he has no immune system to fight it because he's not been vaccinated. We can get him the proper medicine in a clean hospital, I know you don't want to do this, I don't know the story but I know you don't want to trust us but I am telling you your son is not going to get better without help and measles in a child his age can be life threatening. I know you love him I can see it, I am not going to take him away from you, nobody is going to take him away from you but I need you to trust what I am telling you. Please Jamie, please let me help you okay?"
And he nodded as if it was that simple when it fact it wasn't.
He looked down at Harrison and saw that his son was sick, his eyes fever bright and he could have cried. He was sixteen, for all his talk that he was a man, he was tired and hungry and cold and he just wanted someone to tell him what to do. He was tired now, he was tired of being the one who constantly had to make the decisions.
And unbidden his brother's voice as he remembered it cropped up into his head as strong as if he was standing there next to him arm around his thin shoulders.
"This is a no brainer kid. Your son is sick. You get him help. And then you call me. Cause you know I am gonna be there for you."
He nodded his head and he felt Linda by his side her arm around his shoulders and he opened his eyes biting down on his lip hard to keep the tears at bay.
"Trust me." The voice in his head urged. "Kid you gotta start trusting someone, please trust me."
"Okay"
"Linda?"
"Yeah Jamie?"
"Can you come with me?"
"Course I can" she said after the Doctor nodded. "Course I can Jamie."
"Can you stay?"
"Absolutely. Can I Doc?"
"Sure thing Linda"
"Linda?"
He took a deep breath as she nodded encouragingly her smile soft and gentle and he breathed in and he breathed out and he reminded himself of what the voice told him. Besides…he didn't have any pride or dignity left at this point did he?
He conceded defeat.
"Can you…er…can you call Danny?"
"Of course"
"Just Danny"
"Of course Jamie"
He nodded and he let Harrison cry uncaring that he was crying too.
He needed help.
He just hoped that Danny could help him.
Cause Jamie knew he was screwed if he didn't.
Royally, completely, and utterly fucking screwed.
And I am not a medical expert so any issues there and I do apologise.
Next Chapter-Linda makes a phone call, Danny finally get's some peace of mind. Joe comes along for the ride too.