[a/n0]Thank you to Luna's magic for allowing me to revisit #17 I was proud of that one. And to cameron1812 for sending me all the way back to HDD, made me all nostalgic. And recommended reading, polarbear20000's #81 review. You need to write that into a 1shot.

[a/n]We owe this bit of, …., to Slytherin66 "A fun way to mess with expectations, I wonder if Hogwart's has fanfics." Who likely doesn't remember suggesting it, as the review containing it is near 4 years old.

Harry Does Different CDXCVII

A Wizard On the Enterprise

"What have you been doing, Harry?" asked Hermione. It was a rainy day and everyone was just a little stir-crazy "I have never seen you so intense. Looking off into space for several minutes at a time, then scratching furiously on an ever-growing scroll."

The boy looked at his female best friend and removed his glasses, sighing "I have a confession to make. I picked up a bad habit from Dudley."

"Don't see it, mate." Fred called out from an alcove.

George added "You're not Crabbe or Goyle. You're still a scrawny runt."

"Not THAT bad habit ya gits!" he tossed a pillow at a redhead. "Like I was saying, Dudley discovered the world of fanfiction. And even if he doesn't have the creativity to write it, he likes to read it. So I snuck into his room and started checking it out on his computer."

Dean Thomas, from his seat on the opposite side of the room, snorted "Waste of time."

"Not much else to do." Countered Harry, just rather glad the girl of his dreams wasn't currently sitting with the black boy, and barely managing to keep resentment from his tone. Rumor had it they would be a couple next year "To those not in the know, fanfiction is people writing stories using characters in other peoples'. It's just for fun, no one makes any money on it."

Colin Creevey wasn't impressed "No offense, but now I'm making money for my pictures, not doing them for free anymore."

"Anywho!" Hermione spoke over the end of the younger boy's protest "Might we hear what you wrote?"

George clapped lightly, three times, and praised "Way to go Granger. You managed that without snatching the scroll."

"If you were going to post it online, Harry, surely you cannot be bothered sharing it with the dozen of us here, now." Hermione addressed her friend kindly after giving the Weasley boy a hiss.

Looking around at the faces of his Housemates, none of which were hostile, just an array ranging from disinterest to eager. Ultimately deciding, with a shrug "Why not. A quick introduction. My cousin is a fan of Star Trek. And he controls the TV, so I watched what he wanted. In this case, though, it's an interesting show. Takes place about 400 years in the future. Muggles have space travel and have visited many different worlds. They can do, by using technology, a lot of the things we do with magic. I did write this for people who knew something about the series, so go with it if you don't. Right?"

"Do we have time for popcorn?" asked Dennis Creevey, though it was rhetorical. He sat eagerly next to his brother.

"A Wizard On the Enterprise by Harry Potter" the amateur author began.

"Captain's log Stardate 42761.4 Once again the seemingly all powerful being that calls itself Q has paid us an unwelcome visit. We are several thousand light-years from the nearest base. Q has put the Enterprise in the path of a First Contact situation. The species may not be one for elegance, but the cubical ship we've encountered is several times this Galay-class starship. Engineering reports a single representative has transported aboard. It is my hope this is a peaceful first meeting." Captain Picard had recorded this entry while in the turbolift from the bridge.

The engine-room was a site of carefully controlled fear. The invader ignored every attempt at communication and was studying one of the workstations. Naïve Ensign Gomez approached the leather-clad, grey-skinned mostly-humanoid-male saying "Hello, sir, we're with the Federation. I'm Sonya, what is your name?"

The visiting demi-god explained "This is but a scout. Just interested in your technology. He might try to take over. I wouldn't let him."-

"Back Ensign" ordered Picard as he arrived on the scene. The captain held up his hands in a peace gesture adding "We mean you no harm." And that was when the intruder started taking over the workstation. "Lt. Worf, stop him! Use any means necessary!"

The intruder said nothing, but beams of light licked out to connect to the computer. Having seen the phasers fail a nearby crewman pulled what everyone assumed was just a stick and cried "Avada Kedavra!" The green light coming from it stopped the attack. Then the crewman stopped a second at third intruder the same way. There wasn't a fourth.

Abcij

"Crewman Radcliffe, you'd best explain yourself. And please be brief." Everyone in the conference room knew the Captain was issuing an order.

The young man clad in blue swallowed a lump, but wasn't given a chance to speak.

"Jean-Luc, Danny-boy here is a trifle closer to Q on the evolutionary scale than most of your almost intelligent species." Q occupied the seat Worf occupied moments earlier "He is what you call a wizard. And don't bother touting your Statute of Secrecy to me, boy. It should have been abolished centuries ago. Besides, you already gave the whole thing away."

There was too much brass in the room for the crewman not to be intimidated "Captain Picard, I'm sorry, sir, but I did not know there was another captain on board."

"Crewman, despite his uniform, this …person… is not a Starfleet officer and you are in no way obliged to obey him." The bald man spoke with a touch of contempt for the other seeming captain "What he is, is an entity with a seeming unlimited ability. One not unlike yourself, apparently. Now, what happened down there?"

Daniel gave a concise report, concluding "I couldn't let it …him… hurt Sonya, I mean Ensign Gomez."

"Sentimentality, a weakness in the race." Q sneered.

The crewman pulled off his glasses and pinched his nose "If you'd earned those pips, you'd understand how wrong that statement is."

"I think we may have room for a field promotion, Captain." Said Riker with a grin at Radcliffe, adding "Not the first time someone has made that remark. I'll tell you about it later."

Q snorted derisively "Shameless praise to an overachiever, Riker. As may be, you have wasted all this time. I'll be going, care for a side trip, Danny-boy? We could be on the other side of the galaxy before you could pull that silly stick of yours."

"Heard you were in Ten-Forward. Happen to meet Guinan? Y'know? Interesting lady in all purple?" came a snappy reposte.

This surprised the Enterprise officers, especially when Troi noted "Captain, I think Mr. Radcliffe struck a nerve."

"I think we'll take this up when you have improved the quality of your officers, Jean-Luc." There was a glaring white flash, then the seat occupied by the demi-god was empty.

Over the intercom, the voice of Wesley Crusher announced "Captain Picard to the bridge. Sir, we're back where we started. Almost to the cubic inch so far as the sensors can tell."

"Commander Riker, if you would submit that paperwork for a field promotion…" Picard stood, straightened his uniform and headed for the door "Be thankful crewman Radcliffe hasn't attended the officer program, he might be in line for your job."

TheEnd

There was some applause as Harry rerolled his scroll, even if not a standing ovation. The Purebloods among the audience seemed confused by the setting. Colin and Dennis were applauding with the most enthusiasm. What drew curious looks was the reaction of Hermione Granger

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh Harry! Seriously! You actually wrote a Mary Sue!" she chortled with laughter that quickly devolved into a need to clutch at her belly. After catching herself from falling off the couch, the witch added "And you even managed a self-insert! Oh I'm not making fun really."

He smirked at her as he made his scowl vanish "The flaw in your comment, Miss Granger, is that my wizard is more a Danny Drew, don't you think. I mean, HIS name is Dan."

"And does Dan happen to have raven-black hair and sparkling green eyes?" seeing her friend wasn't offended, she persisted goodnaturedly "Possibly a lightning shaped scar on his forehead?"

That comment pretty much clued even the Muggle unaware of exactly what they'd heard. Now there was amusement throughout the common room.

Harry couldn't even raise a hint of real annoyance, but he protested "Hpmf! No, Dan Radcliffe has blue eyes. And no, no scar."

"But you're more handsome with it Harry." Romilda Vane cooed.

The kissy noises were ended when Professor McGonagall arrived on the scene.