Hi, so here is another story and it is an episode based story like the last few this time in the later series.

I do like the later series and this episode The Lost Sheep in particular however I really struggled with the character of Olivia when she came back from Arizona this episode in particular, as a parent I don't understand her actions, I mean she basically belittles Erin, bullies her out of marriage, all but spits on Ashley and gets John to cover for her. Erin in the later series is basically an afterthought, they never seem to know quiet what to do with her and they create man after man to throw at her and to be honest Ashley was the best-granted Paul was quite good (until they ruined him in the movies) but this is a fix it basically for Erin because she deserved to marry the man she loved and she deserved to marry him despite her mother throwing an almighty temper tantrum (to be kind). Seriously...Olivia did twenty plus years married to John and despite everything I thought it was always pretty clear how he viewed religion...

On that note this does mention atheism, war, PTSD and trauma-basically all the good stuff the series doesn't cover. If this is a hard line for you then maybe stop here. I do not wish to offend anyone but this is based off the episode and nothing more. Personal beliefs don't come into it.

If you've read my work then you know spelling and grammar are not my strongest so please keep that in mind.

This is not going to be word for word cannon either. This story should be about eleven chapters long.

I will try and update when I can but with work that might be a bit sporadic so apologies in the meantime.

I have also brought back the original John Boy. The first five series were the best and it is arguably down to Richard Thomas, Ellen Corby and Will Geer being just as involved as Micheal Learnerd and Ralph Waite.

The Same Coin

Chapter 5-Love, Honour And Obey

Mary Ellen sits and works on her sister's wedding dress but it's a bit of a ploy because she wants to know just what the hell her sister is thinking. Cause you know...sisters.

The dress was beautiful. But then again this was Erin and Mary Ellen knew that her sister could get married in a sack cloth with ashes on her face and she'd still look beautiful. Erin had the looks when she didn't try so when she tried she was beautiful. Her hair was shorter now, her fringe growing out but with her flower crown and her hair pinned back off her face she looked prettier and older and yet somehow softer all at once.

And the dress was beautiful. Rose had done the pattern herself and it was softer than Mary Ellen's had been. The sleeves looser and the skirt more full, fashions…especially wedding fashions changed with every season and Erin's might be more of a reflection of a wartime bride but she would carry the look well. With Ashely in his unform Mary Ellen knew they would make an attractive couple.

At least on the outside.

And…and it wasn't like she didn't understand Erin. Curt had hardly been the most religious of men. He had gone to church more when they were married but he openly used Sundays' to do his charts and when the baby had been born they had snatched moments together so much so that if he had been back on a Sunday the only church she'd wanted to worship was the planes of her husband's body.

If that wasn't blasphemy to say.

It wouldn't have mattered to her if Curt wasn't religious she had told herself on the way over. And indeed it wouldn't have. She had loved every inch of her husband from his strong hands to his gentle smile but the difference between him and Ashely was that Curt like their father had believed in something. Maybe she had not known what at the time but he had believed in a great beyond. He had never slammed the door shut on faith and belief in the way that Ashely had and that was the thing that she couldn't fully understand.

But then again Mary Ellen was a modern woman as was Erin, as was Elizabeth, they were modern woman for modern times and things that might have been outlandish for her mother and father were not the same for her. Momma and Daddy did not believe in divorce, did not believe of a life that wasn't church, dinner and chores. It wasn't a negative thing, Mary Ellen would defend her childhood to the death but she knew the times were changing. Heck if she could be a nurse, a single mother and maybe even a Doctor one day then why couldn't America get a female president?

"I know what your thinking" Erin said setting her needle to the beads on the sleeve. "So you can just say it. I wont be offended"

Mary Ellen sighed and put her needle to the side. She was better at stitching up cuts than switching dresses she supposed. And if she was being honest with herself she didn't want to be making a dress while she had this conversation.

"I don't like it when you and Momma fight"

"We haven't fought like this before. The last time it was like this was Chad"

Mary Ellen nodded. In truth she and her Momma had last been at odds over her moving out all those years ago. When she had wanted to strike out on her own.

It wasn't something that happened very often. Their house was filled with love not arguments.

"I get why it doesn't matter to you" she said quietly. "If it had been Curt…it wouldn't have mattered to me I don't think. If it was a choice between not being with him and being with him if he didn't believe in anything then I would still choose to be his wife and have his children. And if this deal that you and Ashely has sticks then I back you one hundred percent."

"But…"

"But I just think this is a fast wedding"

"So was yours"

"That was different."

"You mean because there wasn't a war on?"

"No because I had just jilted a man at the alter".

Erin laughed then her expression one of genuine amusement. "And I burnt his letter and he came round to demand you marry him anyway"

Mary Ellen felt her heart warm and simultaneously pang with silent sorrow. God she missed her husband. It was not just him, not just the loss of the man she loved and the father of her child—not just what John Curtis had lost, but it was the loss of the future she had wanted. Giving up her home and moving back home, putting the surgery back on the market, watching as another doctor took stock of her well stocked shelves and ate at her table.

"That was Curt"

"And you knew he was the one"

"Yes"

"And I know that about Ashely"

"I know you do. I believe that he loves you. Remember I have been here throughout each of his flying visits, I know that he loves you it's written all over his face when he sees you. I just…I wonder if there is something else, something about the war that he is not telling you about"

"Did Curt talk to you about the war?" Erin asked with genuine interest.

Mary Ellen shrugged.

"Wasn't much to tell" she said quietly turning back to her needle.

And that was true wasn't it? Curt had died in the events that had led to them entering the war, he had never left American shores. She had lost her husband on home soil like she had lost her first boyfriend. Ashely had gone to the battle front, Jason, John-Boy, Mike, Ben soon enough. All of them going to the front and her husband had never gotten to see what the war looked like because he had been taken out of action in the first wave of attacks.

Looking back Mary Ellen still couldn't tell you if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She didn't know. The whole day, that whole December day had been a haze of memories and pain and suffering and the weight of the knowledge that the more time passed by the least likely that her husband was coming home.

They say no news is good news.

Whoever said that had never been a wife and/or mother in a time of war.

"I love him Mary Ellen, I can make sure no matter what Momma says that my children are brought up in a loving home. He doesn't have to say grace at the table. He just has to give me my children and I trust him to do that"

Mary Ellen tapped her needle against her finger feeling the sharp metal prick her skin a little.

"I think so" she said with a smile. "But Erin, are you sure? Because you and I know the times are changing but you if you go to Momma or Daddy three years in and say you want a divorce the roof of that house is gonna pop off"

"Nice image. And yes. I am sure. I am more sure of Ashely than I have been of anything else in my life. He loves me, I love him. Here we can make a go of it. I can see myself as the mother of his children. And I love him and he loves me enough so that we can compromise and that has to be enough surely? Maybe I am being optimistic but I know in my heart that we can do this. I know that I am old enough and mature enough to be his wife, to be the mother of his children. I know that we can have a long lasting and a good marriage and if it's not the same as Momma and Daddy's then so what? Religion does not a marriage make or break. You know that, so does Cindy, so does Rose. I don't get why Momma doesn't but…"

She trailed off and Mary Ellen could see despite the way her sister was carrying on the pain that her Momma's words this morning at breakfast had hurt her deeply.

"Then that's enough" she said not wanting to cause anymore pain. "But Momma isn't gonna be the problem you know. When Grandma finds out…"

Erin had the grace to pull a face at that one.

"Yes." She said picking up her needle again. "I was hoping that she might just…let the wedding slide and we could just get it done."

Mary Ellen thought of Esther Walton, the woman that she knew her as and the grandmother she had been raised with and she wondered just how naïve Erin was to think that that was going to happen. However they were having a nice moment it was best not to ruin it.

"Mary Ellen?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to talk about religion anymore, I want to talk about after"

"After?"

"After the wedding, after everyone goes home. AFTER"

Af—

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

"Ah"

"Yes. I…I know the basics, I know how animals do it and I heard enough gossip and we obviously had the confession magazines when we were young but…but is there something…do I just lie there or do I…participate"

Mary Ellen wondered if it was too early to have a sip of recipe. Unbidden she could close her eyes and see Curt there on their wedding night the light from the fire gleaming off the contours of his chest and his hands as the wandered down her body discovering things that she had never known existed all the while speaking in that low, smooth, melodious voice that had turned her into a puddle of goo.

God she missed that part of being married.

"Mary Ellen?"

"Yes" she said tearing her eyes and her thoughts away from that secret, special image.

"Yes you do…he's your husband. If he wanted to lie with a woman who didn't move, didn't speak or anything else then he could lie with a block of ice."

Here Erin giggled.

"Let him take charge" she thought thinking of Ashely and Curt and men in general. "He'll know what he is doing, I've never met a soldier, sailor or airman who didn't know what he was doing especially with a war on, but make sure you are on equal footing, if he is naked you are. I know some woman wish to remain in their nightclothes but I always thought it was less nerve racking if I was naked with Curt. And the first time…the first time will hurt, it will burn but then there will be a pleasure that will take your breath away and you will know then that you chose the right man to say your marriage vows to"

It was as close as she could get to describe to her little sister what it was like. Some of the things that she and Curt had done, some of the things she had liked to do and he had liked doing and vice versa were deeply personal locked in that box for when she was feeling particularly melancholy and she was alone with no baby. She didn't have to tell Erin any of that. Erin would know soon enough.

"I hope one day you can be as happy again as I am now" Erin said softly.

"I do too. I just…I'm not ready yet. Maybe one day I will be but right now with the war on I am not ready. You want to start your life now with the man you love and I admire that about you Erin. Right now all I want to do is run and hide until this thing is over."

"But do you want another husband?"

Mary Ellen thought about it.

"I want another child" she said finally. "So yes I suppose I do. And I do, I want to be married and have my own home again, I loved it. I was married for such a short amount of time and then I moved back home that it was like a game that we played when we were children. And watching John Curtis grow…well…I know I want another baby."

Erin nodded turning back to her dress.

"Thank you for coming today" she said looking down at the dress.

"Don't mention it" Mary Ellen said picking up her needle. "I'm your big sister Erin. I will always be here for you. And I wish you and Ashely all the happiness in the world. I mean that, truly"

"Thank you" Erin said and so they both turned back to the dress in their laps and Mary Ellen pretended that she didn't see her little sister blink back tears as she realised with a swooping feeling that she was the only person in their family who had said that about the engagement that had happened nearly three days ago.

Behind her eyelids preserved as a perfect memory, her dead husband smiled.

Love, honour and obey.

Yeah. Something like that.

And yeah, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. See you for the next time.

Next Chapter-John Boy is back! And it's the night before the wedding.