The Grim Adventures of Lincoln and Lucy

by Mr. Dusk

After a series of bets, the Grim Reaper ends up becoming a permeant guest in The Loud House. Things are about to get more supernatural than they already were, at least now it's justified.

21. The Good, the Bad, and the Godly

Lucy emerged from the void holding a shovel, "God is dead, time for the burial."

The Good, the Bad, and the Godly

Grim sat at the Loud's kitchen table laughing as he read about disasters happening around the world.

Leni walked up and handed him coffee and donuts, "Reading something good, Grim?"

Grim set the paper down, "Yes, the newspaper. You mortals never cease to amaze me with your endless kerfuffles."

Leni frowned, "The newspaper? Oh, I don't read the newspaper anymore. The plot got way too repetitive, I couldn't keep track of all the characters, and there aren't any personality tests or top ten tips like in my magazines!"

Grim sighed, "You know, maybe that's for the best. I think your childlike innocence couldn't handle the real world."

Just then, the door leading outside slammed open and Nice Eris stepped in, "Grim! I need your help!" she yelped.

Grim calmly took a sip from the coffee, and ignored the Eris, "Did you hear something, Leni?" he asked.

Leni looked at Eris and waved, "Oh, hi Miss Eris! How was Canada?"

Eris was puzzled, "Canada? I was in jail! I just got out today!"

"Oh. How was jail? I've never been there myself, but I hear it's like, really bad."

Eris rubbed her chin, "It got quite dull but I- WAIT, THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! Grim, I really need your help!"

Grim kept on ignoring Eris, chomping on his donuts, "Thank you very much for the snack, Leni."

Leni smiled, "You're welcome!"

Eris sighed, "Grim, I know we had a very messy breakup and I hurt you as much as you hurt me if not more, but I seriously need your help! I need to deal with...UPPER MANAGEMENT!"

Grim broke out in laughter and pointed at Eris, "Ahhahahahaha! YOU got in trouble with Upper Management? I thought your daddy kept bailing you out!"

"I thought that too but now that I've been in jail he has been...cross with me even more than usual."

Grim went back to his paper, "Eh, well it'll be a learning experience for ya, the High Lords of Chaos aren't as mean or nasty as the literal slave drivers I need to deal with."

Leni let out a gasp, "High lords? Are you going to meet royalty?"

Eris gave Leni a patient smile, "No Leni honey, I have been summoned by the Chaos Gods."

Leni rubbed her chin, "Um...wait, isn't that supposed to be you?"

"Goddess of Strife and Discord as well as Chaos incarnate...on Earth, Leni. There just happens to be a higher level of Gods above me."

Leni smiled, "Oh, so you're like, middle management? That's my job!"

"Uh...yes, let's go with that. I'm supposed to supervise the spread of Chaos on Earth...but well given I was in jail-"

"Grim, Nice Eris gets out of jail today! I'm going to go pick her up!" Lincoln called from the front door.

"Have fun, mon!" Grim yelled back.

Eris ran to Lincoln, "Lincoln! Sweet, dependable Lincoln, I'm already here!"

Lincoln looked at her in a bit of surprise, "Oh, uh, good? Saves me bus fare."

Eris got on her knees and clasped her hands, "Lincoln, I really need your support right now, I need to go see some very scary people."

"Your bail bondsman? Flip isn't too scary once you learn to deal with him."

"Uh, no, um-"

Leni ran up, "Eris needs to deal with her managers!"

"Managers?" Lincoln asked.

Eris informed Lincoln of the High Lords of Chaos.

"Oh, okay...but uh, it doesn't seem like there's much I can do." Lincoln told her.

"Probably not, but it would really mean a lot to have someone there for emotional support."

"Ooh, like a bra! I'll come with you too to be your support bra Eris!" Leni told her.

Lincoln looked aside, "Bet we couldn't say that line on TV."

Lincoln then opened the front door and the trio walked outside.

"Anyway, thank you two for coming, it does mean a lot to me." Eris told them.

"So how are we getting there? Do you have a car?" Leni asked.

"Even better, I have a carriage!" Eris pulled out a bronze apple and tossed it onto the street. It quickly turned into a bronze carriage with wings thay opened up.

"Ooh, so we just get in and it takes us there?" Leni asked.

"Yes, that's usually how carriages work." Eris told her.

Lincoln shrugged, "Well, it works in video games."

Leni entered the carriage and then Lincoln sitting on opposite ends of each other. Eris entered and went to sit next to Leni and then stopped when she noticed Leni had set a handbag on her seat next to her.

She totally had that with her, apparently.

"Uh, Leni dear, can you please put that on the floor?" Eris asked.

Leni frowned, and patted her bag, "What? No! I spent months of my paycheck on this!"

Lincoln sighed, "Just uh, just sit with me Eris. Trust me, don't argue with her about her bag."

"Oh, thank you Lincoln." Eris awkwardly took a seat next to him and shut the carriage door.

The carriage itself started to move, but not along the road. It lifted up into the air.

Leni looked out the window, "Wow! Air travel! Will we have an in-flight movie and tasteless food?"

Eris giggled a bit, "No, this shouldn't take too long... oh, you two may want to hang onto something."

Leni rubbed her chin, "Why?"

Lincoln didn't bother to argue, he grabbed hold of the side of the seat.

In a moment, the carriage shot upwards, and Leni was thrown around the walls inside. She finally landed on Eris who grabbed hold of her until the carriage slowed down. Lincoln looked outside to see they were floating in some sort of white void.

"Uh...did we take a wrong turn somewhere?" Lincoln asked.

Eris shook her head and helped Leni back into her seat, "No Lincoln, this is The Beginning, where all things originated from."

Leni ooohed, "Is this where babies come from?"

"What?" Eris looked genuinely shocked.

Leni giggled, "I'm just messing with ya, I know where babies come from."

"Really? Where?" Lincoln asked.

Eris interrupted them, "Alright enough of that! This place is also known as, the Void, the Abyss, Oblivion, Firmament, Ginungagap...well, it has many names."

"Right, okay, and so where are your uh, managers?"

"We have to wait until they-"

Suddenly, the carriage was grabbed by a giant pink glowing hand with long fancy fingernails.

"Wow! That's an amazing manicure!" Leni complimented.

The hand dragged the carriage through the Void until it reached a dark chamber where it shook the carriage until the trio fell out.

There were four of them in total. Very large, as if they might be giants. Each with a different color of red, pink, blue, and green.

The most human-looking being - aside from being massive in size with offensively bright pink skin - glared at Eris with an evil smile. They had an interesting face with one half being a bit rugged while the other half was soft and smooth with a goatee beard around one half of their mouth but no facial hair at all on the other, with lipstick on that half of the mouth as well, "Ooh, this has been a long time coming, Eris. Your daddy isn't here to save you this time." The pink being spoke in an eerie echoing effeminate falsetto.

The red one looked more like a bunch of floating metal that resembled a suit of armor, but not for a human, for something more alien. Its helmet bounced around as it spoke, "FINALLY! YOU GET TO FIGHT YOUR OWN BATTLES! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!" boomed a loud and brash voice that pushed Lincoln and Leni back a bit from its force.

The blue one looked more like a giant translucent cephalopod with glowing yellow orbs for eyes and tentacles all over. One tentacle was raised up and pointed towards the three showing several beaks that all opened at once, "AnD iT aPpEaRs ShE hAs bRoUgHt GuEsTs. As If ThAt WiLl Do AnY gOoD." it spoke with a chorus of voices.

The green one was disgusting, it looked akin to a massive cockroach that was sucking vapor from a hose that was connected to a large glass bottle with an odd liquid inside it, which was on an open flame. It didn't speak with sentences, and instead belched each time it opened its mouth.

"Such foul language, Nurlo!" chided the pink one.

In uh, response, Nurlo farted.

"Uh, Slaani, what did he say?" Eris asked.

Slaani, the pink one, glared again at Eris, "They aren't for your ears, peasant!"

Eris frowned, "Peasant? I'm still the daughter of a god on Earth, and you're comparing me to the likes of that beast Contorno?"

Slaani sighed, "Yes. He's a dumb beast, but at least Contorno meets his quotas on time."

Leni took out her phone and started snapping pictures, "Wow! I don't think I've ever met a giant man-woman before!"

Slaani looked down at Leni, "Oh, the fodder can talk? Good for them."

Leni looked confused, "Father? Oh, my dad's at work now."

Eris quickly put an arm around Leni, "Um, Leni dear, please do not talk back to my managers...and please put your phone away, it is disrespectful."

The red helmet bounced around a bit, "HAVE YOU GROWN TOO SOFT, ERIS? THE LASS I KNEW WOULD'VE TURNED SUCH DISRESPECTFUL WHELPS INTO HANDPUPPETS BY NOW!"

The tentacled one eyed Eris, "It ApPeArS tHaT ERiS hAs SpLiT hErSeLf InTo TwO bEiNgS aGaIn, KhArNeTh. SuCh A sHaMeFuL gIrL, cAnNoT kEeP hErSeLf In OnE pIeCe FoR a MeRe CeNtUrY..."

"It wasn't my fault this time, Tiznitch!" Eris retorted.

Tiznitch, in response, shot a beam from its eyes at her, frying Eris a bit, "ExCuSeS! MIsErAbLe ExCuSeS! WE nEvEr GeT tHiS kInD oF hOrNsWaGgLe FrOm CoNtOrNo!"

Nurlo burped again.

"SiLeNcE, NUrLo! YoUr PuTrId WoRdS mEaN nOtHiNg To Me!"

Slaani giggled a bit, "Oh yay! Burning her is a good start, what should we do to her next?"

"Hold it!" Lincoln suddenly yelled, "Is this all you're going to do? Torture her?"

"Lincoln, no!" Eris started to plead.

Lincoln kept yelling, "What the heck is wrong with you all? Aren't you supposed to be professional? Eris - well, her bad side more - may be impulsive, destructive, and crazy but she doesn't deserve this!"

Slaani frowned and looked down, "What miserable little- AAAH! It can't be! Is that...YOU?"

...

Back at the Loud House, Grim was watching TV when Lucy appeared suddenly next to him.

"Grim, have you seen Lincoln?" Lucy asked.

Grim nodded, "Yeah, he's dealing with an Eris thing."

"I thought we were still on my vampire arc."

Grim shrugged, "Well, you had three chapters, we can have a break from that."

"Okay, so what are you doing?" Lucy then asked.

Grim held up the tv remote, "Providing a B-Plot, and getting some screen time."

Lucy took a seat on the couch, "Can we watch anything that isn't the news?"

"No, it's the best way to watch humans suffering without leaving the house."

"...touché."

"I really wish they'd shut up about that stupid orangutan though."

...

Lincoln, Eris, and Leni were viewing an odd sight of the three giants Slaani, Kharneth, and Tiznitch bowing their heads in humility. Nurlo seemed content where he was, sucking on his hose.

"Uh...what happened? Did I break them?" Lincoln asked.

"I-I don't know! I've never seen them do this for anyone before!" Eris told him.

Leni smiled, "They might recognize you as royalty, Linky! I mean, you aren't a Duke anymore, I think, but it's nice to see they care!"

"It's cute to see them like this."

Lincoln blinked a few times, thinking he heard something, "Uh, hey, I don't want you to bow to me-"

"WaIt!" Tiznitch screeched as they raused their head up, "No, OuR gReAt LoRd WoUlD nEvEr AsSoCiAtE wItH ZeUs'S mIsErAbLe ChIlD!"

Slaani raised their head up, "Oh yes! What were we thinking! Confusing one of Earth's fodder for HIM!"

Kharneth's helmet was still lowered, "I DON'T KNOW, THIS TINY THING DOES LOOK LIKE HIM A BIT..."

Slaani sighed, "That's because our Lord has beautiful white hair while this IMPOSTER just...ugh, his hair is TACKY!"

Nurlo let out a few burps.

"Shut UP, Nurlo!"

"They ought to listen to him more."

Lincoln noticed a fly buzzing around him, and tried shooing it away, "Eris, what are they talking about?"

Eris then realized something, "Oh, uh, they may be talking about the Chaos God above them, Lord Ayan."

"Ooh! He must be the CEO!" Leni chimed in.

"Sure, let's go with that." Eris humored her.

"And what's above him?" Lincoln asked.

Eris shrugged, "Well...unless you count Chaos incarnate herself, nothing."

Slaani pointed accusingly at Lincoln, "Who or WHAT are you, to impersonate and speak of our Lord?"

Lincoln gave them an annoyed look, "Uh, Lincoln Loud, and I'm not impersonating anyone!"

"HAH! THE TINY THING HAS COURAGE!" roared Kharneth.

"Or, MoRe LiKeLy, It Is JuSt FoOlIsH aNd StUpId." Tiznitch suggested.

Nurlo burped a few times.

Slaani grinned, "Oooh! Now there's an idea!"

"NuRlO, I HaTe YoU aNd EvErYtHiNg yOu StAnD fOr, BuT tHaT hAs To Be ThE sMaRtEsT tHiNg I'vE eVeR hEaRd YoU sAy!" Tiznitch remarked.

Eris looked worried, "Oh no, what did he say?"

Kharneth sent down a bunch of swords that cut through Eris's dress, "SILENCE, WENCH!'

Leni oohed as she observed Eris's dress, "You know, this style of cut clothing is coming back!"

Slaani pointed at Lincoln, "You, you pale imitation, will now be subjected to trials to see if you are worthy of bearing HIS appearance!"

Lincoln balled up his fists at his sides and glared right back, "And what if I pass them?"

Slaani giggled, "You definitely won't."

Lincoln pointed at the giants, "If I pass, you all need to apologize to Eris!"

"Aww, how sweet of you."

Boy, that fly just won't leave Lincoln alone.

Slaani waved him off, "Yeah, sure, as if that'll happen."

Nurlo let out some more burps.

Slaani groaned, "FINE! And there will be something for you as bearer of HIS resemblance."

Lincoln was then grabbed by Slaani, and was whisked away to another dark chamber. Lincoln was set down on the floor while Slaani cleared their throat.

"For your first trial, you will have to impress me by showing a HIGH TALENT for art. You will have five minutes to create a masterpiece worthy of my name."

Lincoln was appalled, "Five minutes?"

"You're lucky I'm sparing ANY time for a little insignificant insect who is definitely not worthy of I, Slaani, the creator of Male and Female and making them antagonize each other for all time!"

"That uh...that explains a lot."

A giant clock appeared and started to count down from five minutes. Lincoln was given a canvas and art supplies, but his mind was blank. He usually did well under pressure, but something about this weird situation was starting to catch up to him.

Slaani scoffed, "You aren't even going to TRY, are you? How insulting, you do know that failing these trials means you pathetic planet will be slated for destruction, yes?"

"Wait, WHAT?" Lincoln yelled.

"Oh, I guess I didn't mention that part. Oh well, three minutes left."

The pressure was certainly on now. Lincoln took his paintbrush and shook as he got paint on the canvas. It wasn't enough. The clock was now on two minutes, and Lincoln tried painting faster. Soon enough, only one minute was left and the seconds started to tick faster and faster. Lincoln quickly grabbed the tubes of paint and shot at the canvas, when those ran out, he grabbed the paint cans and splashed the canvas.

"TIME'S UP!" cackled Slaani as they grabbed the canvas, "Let's see what horrible-"

Slaani took a look of the canvas and went silent.

Lincoln hyperventilated as the frantic panic got to him.

"It's...beautiful..." Slaani finally said, "Such raw energy, such powerful statement, such..." a few tears fell down their face.

"Wow, you managed to get Slaani to weep." remarked the fly who apparently can talk.

Slaani waved Lincoln off, "You...you can go now...I need to...contemplate this."

Lincoln fell through the floor and ended up in the presence of Kharneth.

Kharneth's helmet hopped around, "I SEE YOU PLEASED SLAANI! WELL, I SHALL NOT BE AS EASY, LITTLE LORD LOOKALIKE!"

"Uh, hold on, before we do anything, are you guys really going to destroy the Earth if I don't pass all these trials?" Lincoln asked.

Kharneth laughed, "OF COURSE WE ARE! ALL THOSE UNWORTHY OF THE BEAUTY AND POWER OF CHAOS SHALL BE DESTROYED SO NEW BEARERS CAN BE MADE! 'TIS THE NATURAL ORDER!"

Lincoln grabbed at his hair, "Oh no. I'm risking Earth's destruction."

"THAT YOU ARE! GOOD ON YA, LAD! NOT MANY CAN RISK IT ALL! KEEP IN MIND THAT I AT LEAST ONLY DO THIS OUT OF DUTY AND NOT MALICE!"

"Please just...what do I have to do?"

"AH, YOUR CHALLENGE! YES, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT WHEN HAS THAT EVER STOPPED ANYONE FROM TRYING?"

A few seconds later, an obstacle course appeared in the room. The course had floating platforms over a pit of spikes, flamethrowers that burned through fuel tanks and replaced in seconds, rolling cylinders that continuously fell down a slope, and for the finale, a bunch of wild otters in a wave pool leading to the finish line.

Kharneth laughed, "THIS IS MY MOST DEADLY OBSTACLE COURSE YET! NOT EVEN THE LOWLY EARTH GODS THEMSELVES COULD HOPE TO-"

"I'm done." Lincoln remarked, having completed the course while Kharneth was monologuing to himself. Lincoln's hair was on fire, but he quickly put it out by wringing out his shirt, soaked by the pool water.

"WHA-WHA-WHAT! HOW? YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU DID ALL THAT! YOU EVEN GOT PAST MY VICIOUS OTTERS?"

Lincoln looked at the helmet with a blank stare, "I have lived with ten sisters who put me through pain and suffering on a daily basis. All that? Nothing compared to a morning with them."

"TEN SISTERS? WOW! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? I NEED TO INCLUDE THAT IN MY NEXT ONE!"

"I still can't believe you moved so fast." remarked the fly.

"I just want this over with." Lincoln told it.

"WELL, YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE, TEN SISTERS BOY! GOOD LUCK!"

...

Meanwhile, Leni was fixing up Eris's hair who was in a bit of a slump, "Poor Lincoln, this is all my fault. Who knows what horrors he's being subjected to?"

Leni patted her shoulder, "Hey, don't worry Miss Eris! Lincoln gets subjected to horrors a lot!"

"That isn't reassuring! That just makes me concerned for his mental health!"

Leni frowned, "But his teeth are fine?"

"Leni, you're scaring me."

...

Lincoln fell through the floor again, seeing the odd cephalopod after he landed.

Tiznitch looked over Lincoln with its many judging eyes, "I'm AlMoSt ImPrEsSeD. NOt MaNy MaKe It ThIs FaR, iN fAcT, tHe SuCcEsS rAtE lAsT I ChEcKeD dId NoT eVeN rEaCh OnE oNe BiLlIoNtH!"

Lincoln sighed, "Yeah, okay, you're hard to please. Is that all you got going for you?"

Tiznitch grumbled a bit, "No. I aLsO aM tHe PuRvEyOr Of MaNy, MaNy CoNtRaDiCtInG iDeAs, ThEoRiEs, AnD pHiLoSoPhIeS. LItTlE aNtS sUcH aS yOu CoUlD nEvEr UnDeRsTaNd ThE mEaNiNg Of It AlL, sO yOu CoNsTaNtLy FiGhT oNe AnOtHeR tO dEcIdE wHiCh Is MoRe CoRrEcT."

"And let me guess, no matter what, we're always wrong?"

"YoU mAy Be SmArT wItH yOuR tOnGuE, bUt LeT's SeE hOw YoU hAnDlE a QuIlL aNd ScRoLl!"

A quill and scroll suddenly appeared floating in front of Lincoln who grabbed them. The scroll was empty, and the quill was dripping with ink. "Uh...okay, what do you want me to do?"

"FiGuRe It OuT fOr YoUrSeLf, AnT!"

Lincoln looked upon the empty scroll; nothing on it but full of possibilities. He looked at the quill, dripping with ink and ready to leave its mark on the world. It clicked for him, and he started to write an essay.

"Huh, interesting. You figured out what Tiznitch wanted you to do." remarked the fly.

"Not now, please, I need to focus." Lincoln hushed.

Tiznitch was silent as Lincoln worked.

After quite some time, all the ink from the quill had been transferred to the scroll, and Lincoln held it up to the giant cephalopod. Tiznitch's eyes looked all over the essay, "HmMpH..." it murmured.

Lincoln kept quiet.

"...I cAn AcCePt ThIs. If OnLy ThErE wErE mOrE aNtS lIkE yOu, MaYbE yOu AlL wOuLdN't Be DoOmEd To CoNsTaNtLy DeStRoY eAcH oThEr."

Lincoln fell through the floor yet again and found himself in the presence of Nurlo.

Nurlo let out a burp.

Lincoln looked at the fly that had been following him, "...I guess this is the end. I have no idea what this thing could want."

"Give him a moment." the fly said back.

Lincoln looked aside, "I'm talking to a fly, and somehow that's the most normal thing to happen to me today."

The gigantic green cockroach inhaled a lot of vapors from the hose and blew out a massive green cloud that swarmed around Lincoln.

Oddly enough, Lincoln didn't panic or freak out, in fact the vapor was very calming. All his stress seemed to melt away. "Whoa...what is this?" Lincoln asked.

"Perhaps now we can finally have a civil conversation." spoke the cockroach.

Lincoln looked up curiously at the monstrosity, "Eh? You can talk normally?"

Nurlo puffed out more of the green vapor, "Not exactly, my speech is very...old and forgotten by many. Even young Eris can't seem to understand. I have found a way to open communication however, Lincoln Loud, that is how you are listening now."

"So uh, what's your trial? That's why I'm here, right?" Lincoln asked.

"I have no trial for you. I had suggested it in jest and the others decided to foolishly try to exercise what little power they have. My apologies for that."

Lincoln was still for a moment, "So uh, the Earth was threatened with destruction over a joke?"

"Lord Ayan would never allow that. I hope you can forgive my fellow High Lords, none of them have been humbled as much as they had by your hands. As for myself, I've lived a lifetime of being stepped on, it destroys me to see them go flaunting their authority but there is little I can really do."

"You know, this Lord Ayan guy must be very important for them all to bow to me thinking I'm him. Does I really look like him?"

"Ask him yourself, he's buzzing around you as we speak."

The fly hovered in front of Lincoln's face "Hello Lincoln! Yes, it's almost like looking in the mirror! It's astounding!"

Lincoln looked from the fly to Nurlo, "Uh, but this is just an ordinary talking fly. It looks nothing like me."

Wow, now there's a sentence.

Suddenly, a floating head looking eerily similar to Lincoln's appeared in front of the boy's face in place of the fly "Are you sure?" he asked.

Lincoln yelped and fell back, causing the floating head to giggle. Nurlo blew out another puff, "Lord Ayan's shapeshifting is quite a sight. He tends to turn into a fly a lot to keep an eye on us whenever we dare to think of him."

Momentarily, a torso wearing an orange robe materialized below Ayan's neck. Black gloves and black footed leggings popped out of the sleeves and bottom respectively. Ayan's head differed in Lincoln's with glowing orange eyes with only the black pupils offsetting the color, a skin tone of magenta that changed shade with each passing second, and most notably a wide smile that seemed to stretch off of his face, as if it were not attached to his face at all. "You are quite the interesting child, Lincoln! You even got my favorite orange color on you!"

Lincoln looked down on his shirt and got back up, "Uh, um, thanks? Is the Earth safe? You're not going to destroy it?"

Ayan laughed, "Of course not! Watching you humans destroy each other with your stupidity and evil is FAR more entertaining than anticlimactically destroying Earth in one big kaboom! I prefer my chaos to be a slow burn, you see!"

Lincoln's eyes dulled a bit, "I... don't know how to feel about that."

Ayan gave Lincoln a few reassuring pats on the head, "Aw, chin up, kiddo. I got something for you for going through all that junk today."

Lincoln watched as Ayan held his hand out. There was nothing in it. Then he waved his hand, and now there was a small box that looked to be made of obsidian, closed with a golden latch. Curious, Lincoln reached to open the latch, but Ayan put his hand on the top.

"Ah, ah! You need to wait until you're alone to open this...it's a surprise!" Ayan told him.

Lincoln put his hand down, "I don't think I even want whatever's in there."

Nurlo puffed one more time, "A gift from Ayan is not one to be turned down, Lincoln Loud. It is a great honor to-"

Ayan's head turned around towards the cockroach, "Hold Nurlo, Lincoln doesn't have to accept the surprise if he doesn't want it."

Lincoln pondered for a moment and grabbed the box. It was oddly light, and small enough to fit in his pocket. After that, Lincoln fell through the floor one more time and ended up next to Eris and Leni.

Eris embraced him, "Lincoln! You're okay"

Leni gave him a hug too, "Good to have you back!"

Lincoln was a bit conflicted with the sudden hugs, he focused on the box he had in his pocket and tried to keep the two from noticing it.

A moment later, he got a lot of help from the four High Lords of Chaos showing up again. Slaani threw the carriage at them with a scorned look on their face, "Take your garbage transportation and leave us."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Lincoln asked.

Slaani nodded, "Yes, leave so we can forget you."

"Apologize to Eris!" Lincoln demanded.

"Lincoln I-" Eris tried to stop him.

Slaani scoffed, "I will watch the heatdeath of the universe before I lower myself to-"

"MY LORD!" yelled Kharneth, the helmet looked up and started shaking.

Lincoln, Leni, and Eris looked up themselves. It was Ayan, but now much bigger. So big that they couldn't see his head, mainly just the now huge orange robe draped over him. There was twisted laughter coming from him that shook the room.

Tiznitch was mesmerized by the sight, "He Is LaUgHiNg...ThIs WiLl Be TeRrIbLe."

"Run. You don't need to see this." Lincoln heard Ayan whisper in his ears.

Not waiting to be told twice, Lincoln quickly pushed Eris and Leni into the carriage, "Alright, forget it! Let's go!" Lincoln told them.

"Linky, what's the rush?" Leni asked.

"WE GOTTA GO!" Lincoln shouted.

Eris stammered a bit, "Uh, well, okay! Let's just sit down and we go!"

The carriage took off and left the room, and the Void in general.

Slaani trembled a little, "Oh...oh no... I'm sorry! Whatever I did, I didn't mean-"

Colossal hands grabbed hold of Slaani, Kharneth, and Tiznitch.

"The three of you need to relearn the pecking order." Ayan spoke.

Nurlo watched on while inhaling his vapor.

...

Grim was on the phone and groaning heavily, "Oh come ON, Em! Given most mortals go to the Bad Place for good reasons, it doesn't make sense to open the gate for everyone!"

Some incoherent high-pitched jabber was said through the phone.

"Oh, spare me the bleedin' heart speech, will ya? If EVERY sinner really were redeemable, they'd get out of that cesspool themselves!"

Just then, the front door flung open with Lincoln, Leni, and Eris entering, "We're back!" cheered Leni.

"Gotta go Em, just do your duty, I got my own stuff to worry about." Grim hung up the phone, and got up from the couch, "Welcome back you two." He tried pushing Eris out the door.

"Wait! Grim, you can't kick Eris out!" Leni protested, grabbing his arm.

"Leni, your stu- er, naïveté will doom us all. We can't let Eris in here!" Grim told her.

"Yes we can, we can just invite her in." Leni corrected.

Grim sighed, "Let me correct meself, we SHOULDN'T let Eris in here!"

Lincoln pulled Grim's arm down, "Grim, I'm not in the mood for your drama right now. Nice Eris is gonna stay in Leni's room for now, just ignore her."

"Woah, what crawled into your undies?" Grim asked Lincoln.

Lincoln took a deep breath, "Well, it turns out I'm a dead ringer for the Supreme God of Chaos or something. I'm still coming to terms with that."

With that, Lincoln went upstairs to his bedroom.

"Wait, WHAT?" Grim looked over at Eris.

Eris placed a hand over her heart, "I had nothing to do with it, I am just as surprised as you are."

Leni nodded, "Linky apparently looks like their boss. They put him on a few trial thingies then told us to leave."

Grim tapped his jaw, "That uh...that does not bode well..."

In Lincoln's room, he sat on his bed and took out the box Ayan gave him. The obsidian glimmered in the light, its luster taunting Lincoln to open it. He put a hand on the latch.

"Hey Lincoln." Lucy greeted.

Lincoln quickly yelped and put the box away, "Hey Lucy, you wouldn't believe the day I had."

"Considering the fact that we live with the Grim Reaper, and you are 'friends' with the Goddess of Chaos, I'm willing to believe anything. What was that you had?"

"Uh...well..." Lincoln thought for a moment and pulled the box out, "Okay, so, Eris got out of jail today..."

Lincoln retold the events of the chapter to Lucy.

"...so now Eris is going to bunk with Leni, and I have this mystery box." he finished up.

"I see." Lucy leaned in and looked the box over, "...it feels like nearly every story where the character gets a box, there's something horrible inside."

Lincoln nodded, "I know..." suddenly, Lincoln grabbed the latch and tried to open it. The latch wouldn't move. He kept tugging on it. "I can't get it open?"

"Huh, maybe when that Ayan told you to be alone, he meant it." Lucy figured.

Lincoln groaned, "Sure, let's go with that...feels like I'm never alone though. Maybe that was the point." he put the box into his dresser.

"Well, now that you're free, can we get back to making me a vampire?" Lucy asked.

Lincoln gave her a tired look, "I think I've had enough adventures for one day, Lucy."

"Okay...wanna watch Vampires of Melancholia?"

"Sure."

The two left the room. Inside the dresser, the obsidian box glowed an unnatural orange.