The last week of Bella's high school career felt like a month without her boys. As she expected, rumors about her and Paul supposedly leaving together swarmed the student body. More than one person had witnessed him kiss her outside, it seemed. Bella worried about the backlash but instead heard nothing. There was no contact from any of them, even Quil. Joy always swore she told him to call her back, but it seemed her cousin had been busy with finals and had a pile of year-end make-up work.
Bella's graduation weekend came and went without fanfare. Without her friends, the so-called accomplishment lacked the excitement she should have felt. Instead, her walk across the stage felt like a final test, one she nearly failed as she tripped on the steps to the stage. Red-faced, she accepted her fake diploma and hurried back to her seat. Her actual diploma waited inside the office, where she would return the decorative scroll in exchange. Bella dodged her classmates and their many cameras, hurrying inside to grab what she needed. She exited Forks High School for the final time with an audible sigh of relief. Charlie took her to dinner to celebrate, just the two of them. Instead of going to another party at Tyler's that evening, Bella chose to stay home alone.
The following weekend, despite his silence, attitude, and avoidance of her, Bella left a message on Jacob's answering machine to say congratulations on his graduation. She desperately wanted to believe that Embry was honest and Jacob still cared about her. Her call went unreturned, and Bella assumed the message had been ignored. Now that Quil seemed to be avoiding her too, she was desperately alone.
Another two weeks went by as she threw herself into job searches and went through the daunting task of decluttering her father's house. Finally, she painted the old yellow kitchen bright white out of desperation for something to focus on. She cooked up a storm for Charlie and took food to the Clearwater's house when she spent time with Leah. Leah's job had been rather demanding of late, pulling her in for extra shifts she said she couldn't afford to turn down. Bella couldn't help but wonder if Leah, too, was secretly avoiding her.
As each day passed, Bella became more withdrawn and listless, spending too much time sleeping or reading and never eating like she should. Caring much about her appearance was difficult when she had nowhere to go. Jacob's old shirts became a go-to before bed, something Charlie noticed but thankfully said nothing about as he worriedly observed her every move.
Soon, her ribs were prominent below her chest, where the hole had returned with a fiery vengeance, often leaving her out of breath and lethargic. Bella knew she was malnourished but couldn't bring herself to care. Hunger was usually the last thing on her mind.
After too many days of keeping herself hidden in the house, despite knowing she was likely unwelcome, Bella decided to go to the beach. She hoped at least someone she was on good terms with was there. It had to be better than all the silence, and cabin fever was setting in. She had hoped in vain, ending up utterly alone on the pebble-covered beach and missing her boys more than ever.
Bella walked along the water's edge, lost in thoughts of her supposed friends and the second familial abandonment she'd suffered. Bella couldn't help but incessantly wonder what she had done, what she could have possibly said or fucked up so badly that everyone left her. She couldn't help but assume she'd lose Leah eventually, too. Why would Leah stick around when no one else ever did?
Eventually, she chose one of the massive beached trees to hide behind and block the wind, listening to the water lap against the shore. Birds cried incessantly, warning of the coming storm as clouds rolled overhead. It felt like they were mocking her, irritatedly squawking over her melancholy presence. She felt like the walking plague. Bella didn't care about the building storm, wondering if it might rush in and carry her out to sea.
Would anyone care? She wasn't so sure anymore. Her mind was slowly sinking back into the dark pit Edward left her in, and she was trying not to let it. It was a difficult task when there was no one to comfort her this time, no Jacob to gently put her back together with warm hugs and sunshine smiles. No silly antics from Quil to cheer her up or wise-beyond-his-years gentle words of advice from Embry. The many long-made plans of a fun-filled summer with her boys before they all left for college had gone up in smoke.
Bella didn't realize she was crying until a tear dripped from her cheek and splashed against the back of her hand. The sight of it was like opening a floodgate, and for the first time in weeks, she allowed herself to grieve. Sobs racked her weak frame as she rocked incoherently, making the tree roots she leaned against jab her in the back with every jerk of her tired body.
Despite the discomfort, she remained where she was. The added pain seemed fitting somehow, the proverbial stabs to the back she'd suffered finally taking on a little physical pain and leaving bruises in their wake. She cried for Jacob and then for Quil. Bella cried for Embry, whose initial departure was the catalyst for the eventual implosion of their circle. Finally, Bella grieved again for Leah, who had suffered the same losses and much more.
She wondered if Leah would think her weak for allowing herself to fall apart. Bella hated to admit to herself how much she needed Leah - her only friend, whom she rarely saw. She stood slowly and wiped the tears away as she calmed, watching the waves in the distance increase with the coming storm.
I need to get out of here before the storm hits, and I actually get tossed into the fucking ocean. It would be just her luck.
A familiar braying laugh greeted her from a distance, and Bella automatically peeked around the massive tree stump to look for Paul. Sure enough, he was talking, gesturing animatedly with his hands while walking backward in front of other people. The shirtless form of Sam Uley was immediately recognizable. A few things happened simultaneously as Paul and Sam stepped out of the way.
Embry darted away from an oblivious couple to walk barefoot through the cold water, flanked by a happy, laughing Quil. Bella sucked in a sharp breath as she realized the friends had mended the rift between them. Unfortunately, Quil's presence meant he'd gotten pulled into Sam's gang. His recent silence made sense now.
The couple stopped walking to wrap their arms around each other as the man tried to block the wind while simultaneously pulling the tall, slender female in for a deep, sensual kiss. Just as Bella began to process her mixed emotions over Quil and Embry, she caught the side profiles of the kissing couple and recognized her so-called best friend despite his now-short hair and hulking form. He was taller than Sam now, with muscles that nearly rivaled Quil's.
Bella released a pained, involuntary cry that sounded like, "Jake?"
So they were all reunited? And Bella had gotten replaced.
She sobbed, unable to help the fury that washed over her like the rising tide at her feet. As another involuntary cry escaped her, all five men spun straight toward her in wide-eyed surprise. A bright, sunshine smile on Jacob's face slowly faded as she stepped into view. Her heart shattered as her stomach plummeted. For a moment, she thought she would be sick. That was her Jacob - her sunshine smile and warm embrace now wrapped around a stranger.
It didn't matter if they saw her now. They would have eventually reached her anyway, and she wasn't about to hide the devastation they deserved to see firsthand.
Her hair came to life in the wind, the dirty, dyed black strands appearing snake-like, whipping around her face like Medusa with a force that stung. She probably looked like a frightening mess in her shredded cutoffs, one of Jacob's old, baggy shirts, and the red, puffy eyes that always accompanied her tears.
The female clinging tightly to Jacob was immediately confused by their surprised reactions and slowly turned toward Bella. Her large, dark eyes roamed over Bella as she tightened her hold at Jacob's side. She was lovely with delicate features, soft curves, and skin slightly lighter than Jacob's. Her long black hair nearly reached her waist, rivaling the lustrous length and waves Bella's currently lackluster hair once had.
No one said a word.
Devastation gave way to fury as Bella strode toward them. Only Paul remained smiling, utterly uncaring about the drama unfolding before him. Sam snarled, glaring at Bella as she came near. Bella didn't bother to hide the blackened tear streaks on her gaunt cheeks, clutching her aching chest with trembling hands. More than anything, she wished Leah was with her now, to walk proud and silent at her side as she fixed her gaze on the beach behind them and flung both middle fingers in the air, stomping past them all without a word.
Paul laughed as the new girl gasped in confusion. He yelled, "Come on now, Bella, baby. Don't be like that."
Someone growled, a fair reflection of Bella's sentiment over the particularly-chosen phrase. Without looking back, Bella yelled, "Believe it or not, Paul, you're the only one I wasn't aiming for."
Paul laughed again as Sam huffed. Heavy footsteps pounded behind her, and Bella spun to face whoever dared approach her. Despite her anger, she couldn't hide her disappointment as a concerned Quil reached her side instead of Jacob.
"Bella, are you okay?"
Quil reached out to touch her arm, and she instinctively slapped his hand away. It was too little, too late. Quil had hurt her, too. Jacob remained where he was, looking guilty as he held tight to his new girl.
"Don't touch me," she hissed, stepping back. Quil froze, gaping at her in shock as she trembled with rage for a change. " YOU are supposed to be my family! Fuck you, Quil."
Embry's gentle voice nearly made her whimper as he asked, "Bells? What the hell happened to you? You look…"
She snapped, "Miserable? Weak? Sick? Yeah, I know, Embry. That's what happens when everyone someone loves fucking abandons them."
Bella turned to Jacob and said, "Congrats on your new girlfriend. Should I teach her what you like, or do you plan to ghost her, too?"
Paul howled with laughter as Jacob's jaw dropped open in shock. One sharp look from Sam calmed Paul's laughter somewhat, though his amused smile remained.
Jacob's new girlfriend's eyes filled with tears. Timidly, she asked, "Jacob? This is Bella? But I thought you said…" She hesitated as she turned to scrutinize Bella's appearance a second time. Her voice was soft and high-pitched, similar to how Bella always imagined Alice's human voice to be. "But, you…"
Interrupting her, Bella yelled, "Tell me, Jake. Were you already dating her when we started fooling around, or was I just your practice dummy until you worked up the nerve?"
Jacob angrily bared his teeth, stepping away from his girlfriend as he clenched his hands into fists, trembling. There was immediate devastation behind them as his eyes locked on Bella's, yet he seemed to have no rebuttal.
She was glad he was angry. It served him right. Finally wiping her tears away, Bella hissed, "Hurts, does it? Good. I hope it does."
Uncaring of anything at the moment, she shrugged off her jacket and let it fall to the ground. Bella whipped Jacob's old t-shirt off over her head, leaving her black bra-clad torso and protruding ribs for all to see. Her breasts rose and fell with each heaving breath, nearly spilling over the cups they squeezed into.
As Paul eyed her form appreciatively, Bella wondered if she looked as shitty as she felt lately - and if her newfound boldness bothered Jacob as much as it seemed.
"Bella…" Jake couldn't seem to say anything else as he stared at her in shock.
She wadded his t-shirt and threw it onto the pebble-filled earth at his feet. She turned around to pick up her jacket and heard them gasp as she shrugged it on. The soreness of her back muscles hinted that it was already bruising from where she'd sobbed and rocked against the tree roots less than twenty minutes prior.
Zipping up her jacket, she said, "You can have your shirt back, Jake. I'll have Charlie drop off the rest of them, too. Enjoy your life, guys. Enjoy your new gang and your summer on the beach."
Looking toward Jacob's girlfriend, Bella said, "Enjoy cooking for three bottomless pits and cleaning Jacob's room when he's too lazy to do it himself. I hope he changed his sheets. Otherwise, they probably still smell like me. Tell me, is a blue night light still glowing in his bedroom, or did he let you pick out your own?"
The girl's face fell in devastation, and she angrily shoved Jacob before stomping away to hide behind Sam. Simultaneously, Sam stepped toward her and hissed, "Bella!"
She barked out a bitter laugh. "Still not talking to you, Sam. Learn to mind your own goddamn business!" Bella made eye contact with all of her - not hers anymore - boys and hissed, "Thank you all for fucking nothing ."
Turning to stalk away from them, she delivered one final blow. "Find me at the next party, Paul. Maybe I will fuck you next time."
As Quil, Embry, and Jacob each snarled, Paul snorted and muttered, "Deal."
Bella couldn't make out their words as the six people behind her all began yelling at each other at once. She wished she could be happy about hurting them with her cold, bitter words, but her tears began anew. They couldn't possibly comprehend how dark the inside of her mind had grown without them all to keep her grounded and safe. They abandoned her…and she hated them for it.
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