Bella avoided her haggard reflection in the rearview mirror as she peered through the pouring rain and too-slow dragging wiper blades. Between tears and the storm, Bella could barely see. The rain slapped against her truck in a deafening raid of thumps. She strained the poor engine, maxing out the speedometer, almost desperate to get home.
She groaned as she spotted the cruiser, expecting a reprimand for risking the storm. Instead of waiting for her in the doorway, Bella found Charlie preoccupied with the game on television.
Surprised by her arrival, he scowled as Bella stumbled through the door, looking like a half-drowned rat. "Bells, why are you racing around in this mess when your headlights are absolute shit?"
She stood in the entryway, shaking, her fists clenched against her upper thighs. She could barely feel her rain-drenched limbs, and water pooled at her feet.
Expecting Charlie's reaction didn't matter. It was too much. She already felt like her entire life was falling apart. Instead of sobbing, she stayed still, too exhausted to do anything else.
Charlie swallowed hard as he finally realized her emotional state and rushed to the kitchen. Bella heard the dryer door open, and a second later, he was holding a freshly dried towel out to her. Bella reached for it, hands trembling, and pressed the terry cloth against her face. The lingering warmth was immediate comfort. She closed her eyes with a ragged breath and leaned against the door for support.
"Bells, you gotta get dried off," Charlie said, glowering as he reached for her jacket and tugged the zipper.
Bella squealed and dropped the towel to shove his hands away. Charlie's cheeks flushed as he took a step back, glancing anywhere but at her bra-clad chest as he sputtered, "W-where the hell is your shirt, Bella? Goddamn."
She zipped the jacket, then huffed as she reached for the towel. "It was Jake's. I gave it back to him."
Charlie's eyes widened in confusion as his hands went to his hips. "Since when are you seeing Jacob again, and why would he want a shirt that hasn't fit him in over a year?"
Bella toweled her hair before kicking off her shoes. "I needed time out of the house, so I went to the beach. Jake was there. Making out with his new girlfriend."
His demeanor changed entirely as his temper flared. Charlie yelled, "Since when does Jacob have a girlfriend?"
"Yeah. Exactly," Bella grumbled but remained unusually calm as her temper resurfaced. "Embry and Quil were with him. Paul and Sam. It was awful to realize I was replaced. I lost my shit, Dad. I…"
Bella shook her head as fresh tears welled, but the odd calm remained. She began drying the puddle of water from the floor at her feet. "I went off on all of them. Then I practically ripped Jake's shirt off and threw it at him."
Charlie sighed and muttered, "Sounds like something your mother would do."
Bella ignored the comment and continued, "They were all shouting at each other when I left. I can't even remember everything I said, but…" Bella looked up at Charlie, who seemed brokenhearted for her. "It was pretty mean, I think. I made his girlfriend cry, too." Bella's shoulders slumped as a twinge of guilt briefly replaced her anger. "I probably shouldn't have done that. It's not her fault they're all being assholes. I didn't paint Jake 'in a good light.' I can say that."
Charlie sighed as he ran one hand through his hair and sat in his recliner. "Bells, you're eighteen. The first guy you trusted since having your heart broken turned around and stomped on it. I think you're a little entitled to speak your fucking mind."
Bella trembled again as another ragged sigh of relief left her. He understood! Charlie was on her side, and that meant a lot.
He scoffed over the grateful smile on her face and pointed to the stairs as he stood. "Go…go get changed before you rot the floor, and then you can tell me the rest." He took the towel from her to soak up the new puddle, and she stepped away.
Bella hurried up the stairs to her bedroom and stripped quickly. She emptied her pockets and searched for something baggy to put on before gathering her wet clothes. Bella put them in the washing machine before returning to the living room. She plopped onto the couch and grabbed the blanket off the back before curling up in the corner, hugging her knees to her chest. Her back ached from the fresh bruises as she draped the blanket over herself. Her hands were numb with cold.
Charlie cleared his throat to gain her attention and said, "Bells, you're gonna get pissed at me, but I gotta ask…"
Bella rolled her eyes, anticipating what he would say next. She never told Charlie about her conversation with Embry. That was her fault alone.
"With how they're acting… you're sure you did nothing to run them off? Like, maybe lead any of them on or…"
"No. Actually. I'm not sure, and I keep asking myself that same question. I've never lied to the guys about anything. The only one I ever kissed was Jake. And with how things were changing, I thought…"
Bella chuckled at the discomfort clear as day on her father's face. He rolled his eyes.
She continued, "I have led no one on or even asked them for anything. They are - well, were my friends. Embry told me Jacob was trying to protect me, but he never said what Jake was protecting me from. I don't know why Quil quit responding to my calls. I don't have a fucking clue why Sam Uley hates me either, aside from the fact that he's an asshole, and I'm not very nice to him."
Charlie's brow furrowed at her suspiciously, and again, Bella nearly laughed as she said, "Hey. He started it."
What Charlie said next nearly made her tumble off the couch. "So, you didn't make out with some guy at that party and then let Embry carry you home?"
Adjusting her sitting position, she grumbled, "You truly hear about every single damn thing I do, don't you?" To her annoyance, he cackled. "Paul…Yes, the same Paul that runs around with Sam kissed me at Tyler's party. I did not expect it, and I left right after that. Then, I ran into Embry on the walk home, and I'm guessing you heard about that from your horny stalker next door." Bella gestured toward the neighbor's house with her middle finger.
Charlie tried not to laugh as he hissed, "Bells!"
She smirked. "I haven't seen or heard from them since Embry walked me home. Well, carried, anyway. Not at all until today."
Charlie stood and looked at the clock in preparation to leave. "I gotta get back to work, Bells. I wish I knew what to tell you to do or how to fix this situation. There are rumors about those boys, okay? Now. I've heard 'em all." Charlie huffed, appearing skeptical as he fought the urge to gesture with his hands, and she laughed.
He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "By the way, don't kiss that boy, Bella. I've arrested him so many times, and he's always with a different girl. Paul Lahote makes Quil look like a fucking choirboy. Besides, he used to pick on you something terrible." He grinned as her cheeks burned. Despite her embarrassment, she grinned back and shook her head.
How had the Cullens kept their secrets from Charlie? He knew everything about everyone else in Forks. La Push, too, it seemed. Maybe it was simply the privilege of not knowing vampires were real that protected him. She hoped it remained that way. Bella knew Charlie was relieved when they moved, but that was only because of Edward.
Charlie schooled his features somewhat and continued, "Bells, everyone I've talked to in the tribal council says Sam and the rest are good, respectful kids."
Bella nearly snorted as he wagged a finger at her. "Now…that little Uley bastard made some snide comments about you running around with dangerous people, and I don't get that at all. The only people you spend time with are in La Push. If the boys are so 'dangerous' that you need protection…why would Sam want to hang out with them? I knew the council didn't care for Dr. Cullen, but they moved away nine months ago. It only makes sense for Sam to be implying his own friends. Besides that, Billy loves you like his own kid."
Bella harrumphed. As far as she was concerned, Billy abandoned her, too.
Charlie said, "Harry talked about Sam like the sun shone from his ass, but Sam's tone with me makes me think the favoritism he gets from the council has given him a 'big head' about himself. The way he's treating you is wrong. Whatever they had against the Cullens had nothing to do with you. Whoever Sam thinks you are…"
Charlie's tone softened as he finished, "He's wrong, kiddo. And those boys should know you better than whatever bullshit he might have said. I've always liked all of them, but…I'm disappointed in 'em."
Bella wasn't sure what to say. Clearly, Charlie thought about her predicament more than she realized to work all that out on his own. Her bottom lip quivered with emotion as she silently appreciated her father.
"I gotta go," he said. He looked toward the clock and cringed. "You gonna be okay? I can send someone to check on you if you need me to." He chuckled. "Fuck, just call my cell phone. I don't care."
"I appreciate that," she said, closing her eyes as she laid her head on the armrest. "I'll deal with it though. Or just learn how to enjoy being alone." Bella looked up at him, forcing her eyes to open. "Thanks for listening. Love you."
He grinned at the rarely spoken sentiment. "Love you too, Bells."
Bella yawned, feeling the exhaustion take over. Her eyelids felt heavy, sore, and swollen as they drifted shut. She felt Charlie's lips brush her forehead before he headed out into the rain. She missed seeing his tortured expression and how he hesitated at the door. Bella fell asleep just as he pulled the door shut behind him.
Grimacing from the ache in her back, Bella sat up slowly as bright headlights flooded the living room from the front picture window. Assuming Charlie was home from work and many hours had passed, she draped the blanket in its usual place and plodded upstairs.
Once inside her bedroom, Bella groaned after reaching to turn on the light. She raised her arms to stretch her muscles and nearly yelled as her upper back spasmed. Taking slow breaths as the sensation eased, Bella carefully pulled off her shirt, dumped it on the bed, and turned to study her back in the full-length mirror behind the door.
Bruises littered her back and shoulders, many of them larger than expected. She recalled her feelings at the time, how the pain seemed to resonate so much with the guys deserting her. Now, with a clearer head, she scoffed. Dramatic bitch. No wonder everyone saw your back and…
Coincidentally, a sharp gasp startled her, and she jerkily covered her breasts with her arms as she turned toward the door. Leah's wide eyes burned with disbelief as she looked over Bella's bare torso.
Jesus, do I need to lock my door and window? She was relieved that it was Leah, however. She'd undressed in front of her before but had worn a bra.
Then, there was the towel incident. Bella's cheeks tingled as she adjusted her arms over her chest.
"Bells…" Leah stepped into the room before quietly shutting the door behind her. "What the hell did you do ?"
Sarcastically, Bella thought, 'How am I supposed to answer that? I had a full-blown meltdown and decided that self-injury was the way to go?'
Instead, she lied, "I, uh, kind of fell and smacked against some of the tree roots on the beach."
Leah dropped her car keys on the bedside table and gently reached for Bella's upper arms. Bella's breath hitched at the warm touch as she felt her blush creep down her neck.
"Turn around," Leah said firmly. "Let me see your back."
Bella chuckled, feeling awkward as she stepped toward the bed. "I'm fine, Lee. Let me put my shirt back…"
Leah frowned and physically guided Bella to turn around. She gasped again as she looked at the new bruises up close. "Jesus, Swan. Some of these are the size of my fist." Long, thin fingers gently brushed Bella's ribs. "Are you fucking anemic? You're getting too thin, Bella. I…"
Bella turned back around as Leah seemed to choke on her words. Large eyes swam with worried tears as Leah appraised Bella's gaunt cheeks. Bella's heart sank. "Hey, Leah. I'm fine, okay?"
Leah asked, "You're not eating, are you? You don't look bad, but you're getting too thin. And if you're anemic, you're probably malnourished."
"I just don't have an appetite lately," Bella said and shrugged.
Leah yelled, "You can't do this shit to yourself!"
"I'm not losing weight on purpose! I never could eat much when I'm stressed or depressed." Bella huffed, shaking her head as she turned to reach for her shirt.
Leah grabbed Bella's upper arm and yanked, spinning Bella around to face her. Startled by the sudden movement, Bella released the shirt, her eyes widening in shock as Leah angrily fixed her gaze on Bella's.
Instead of making some angry retort, Leah immediately softened at the stunned look on Bella's face. She wrapped her long, warm arms around her.
"Bella, you're like… all I've got right now. Please take care of yourself. It scares me. Please," Leah begged, burying her face into the crook of Bella's neck and shoulder. "I know I've been busy with work and shit. The doctors are trying to convince Mom to take Dad off life support. Seth isn't handling it well and has been a little asshole the last few weeks. Nothing like his usual self at all."
Ignoring her bare chest pressed against Leah's soft cotton shirt, Bella wrapped her arms around her friend, attempting to soothe her. She hated herself in that moment, allowing herself to languish while Harry was a single decision away from death. She couldn't imagine being in Leah's shoes, watching Charlie on life-support, unchanging and unresponsive…A mere shell of himself, like Bella, but not of his choosing.
Unsure what else to say, Bella whispered, "Leah, I'm so sorry."
Leah said, "I know you're not doing well with everything. I know about what happened today, but…"
Bella interrupted, "How do you know what happened today? Did Charlie call you?"
"Quil. While I was at work. He blew up my phone until I answered, actually."
Immediately, Bella's temper flared. She scoffed, letting go of Leah to retrieve her shirt yet again. "That's nice. Glad he can call you. He's avoided me for weeks, just like the others." She winced again, ignoring Leah's blatant appraisal of her upper torso as she pulled her shirt back on.
"In Quil's case, I don't think it was on purpose," Leah said and sighed as she sat on the side of the bed. "You got Embry to talk to him, finally. Quil said they've just been spending a lot of time trying to reconnect."
Bella carefully sat beside her and rested her elbows on her knees as she recalled lashing out at Quil when he tried to touch her. "And what did he have to say about the rest?"
Leah scooted closer, gingerly wrapping her arm around Bella's lower back. "Apparently… Jake met that girl sometime last week. She's a distant cousin of Emily's named Ellie and is from the Makah reservation."
"Jake and Ellie," Bella grumbled bitterly. "Sounds great ."
Quietly, Leah continued, "Quil said she came to visit, and it was like love at first sight for them or something. Supposedly very similar to when I introduced Sam to Emily."
Love at first sight? Bella mumbled, "What a crock of shit."
Leah sniffled, blinking rapidly as her brow furrowed. Bella assumed Leah was trying to push away her memories of losing Sam. It was the first time she'd seen Leah mention Sam with anything but anger behind his name.
Again, she wondered what Leah had seen in Sam. There has to be something good about the son of a bitch.
Bella said, "I'm just so pissed at all of them! What the hell did I do? You know? Charlie had an excellent theory for why Sam dislikes me so much, but it doesn't explain Jacob discarding me the way he did. He never really gave me a reason, just a lot of attitude and the 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit!"
Leah flopped onto her back. "I tried to ask Quil some questions, but he just clammed up every time. And that's not like Quil. He loves to gossip. You - we all - know that. He said he could only tell me so much."
Bella scoffed, ignoring the stray tear that rolled down her cheek. Well, that confirmed it. Sam wasn't simply allowing Quil's presence for Embry's sake. Quil was involved now, too.
Despite the hurt of her abandonment, Bella could feel the resentment slowly fading toward Quil and Embry. She couldn't blame them when Sam had separated them for so long. Not after witnessing how much they truly cared about each other. Obviously, Quil was trying to help her. Why else would he have sent Leah to check on her? They still cared about her. She could see it in their faces… including Jacob's.
Bella sniffled and asked, "Why didn't Quil just call me himself?"
She turned to look down at Leah and winced. Leah's bottom lip pouted in response. She held her arms open, silently beckoning Bella to lie back. Bella wiped the tear trail off her cheek with the back of her hand and carefully turned onto her stomach beside Leah.
"I asked him that," Leah said as Bella settled herself, resting her head on her forearm. "Quil said you were so hurt, he didn't think you'd answer. He sounded sincerely worried, Bells. I thought he was going to fucking cry."
Bella sighed, closing her eyes. "I'll reach out to him, I guess. I was pretty harsh to all of them and made what's-her-face cry."
Leah chuckled and asked, "Ellie?"
"Yeah, that," Bella grumbled, making Leah cackle. The sound finally pulled a smile from Bella, and she looked up at Leah through her lashes. Her eyelids still felt sore and heavy. "Thanks for coming by. I appreciate it."
Leah smirked as she leaned away. "Is that a dismissal? You ready for me to get out of your hair?"
"No," Bella said a little too firmly. Touch-starved for weeks, she physically longed for human comfort and was nowhere near ready for Leah to leave. She boldly draped her arm across Leah's stomach and tugged her closer, ignoring the ache in her shoulder.
"Can you stay for a while?" She hesitated before adding, "I like having you here."
Leah chuckled, turning onto her side. She reached up to brush the hair out of Bella's face. Bella let out a slow, deep breath, noting the light tingling of her skin where Leah's fingers grazed her forehead. For the first time in days, she began feeling content.
She felt Leah tug at the sleeve of her pajama top, lowering the fabric to expose the large bruise on Bella's shoulder. Bella tensed as Leah leaned closer and gently pressed her lips to the bruise.
"God, Swan, you gotta take better care of yourself."
The innocent, affectionate gesture made Bella immediately aware of Leah's warmth and proximity entirely differently. That same warmth flooded her limbs and cheeks as butterflies erupted through the hollow cavity in her chest. Shuddering, she sucked in a sharp breath, preparing for the overwhelming collision of emotions. A quiet sob escaped her lips. The next thing she knew, Bella was on her side, burying her face into Leah's shoulder as she cried.
Leah pushed one hand into Bella's hair and rubbed her upper arm with the other, trying to soothe her tears. "It's okay, Bells. I got you."
The hand on Bella's arm moved to cup Bella's chin, tilting her face upward as Leah pressed another gentle kiss to her cheek. Instinctively, Bella returned the affectionate gesture, briefly brushing her nose along Leah's.
As Bella pulled away, she realized the tip of her nose was wet - not from her tears, but one of Leah's. She gaped at Leah's sad, beautiful face in silence, attempting to process what she felt for her friend. No one had ever cried with her before.
Despite everything Leah endured, despite the hardened facade of her exterior, this beautiful woman carried the kindest heart Bella had ever met. Her father was literally dying, yet Leah still dealt with Bella's bullshit without complaint, consistently in her corner. And now, Leah shed tears for Bella when she had enough reasons to cry a fountain for herself.
Bella's hands shook as she cupped both sides of Leah's face and whispered, "Oh, sweetie, don't cry."
She leaned in to press another feather-light kiss to Leah's cheek, followed by another. A second, a third, then a fourth. She half-expected Leah to laugh or tease her as she pulled away. Instead, Leah remained entirely still, staring into Bella's face. Bella's heart raced as their eyes met, their shallow breaths nearly in sync. It was the only sound in the room for a few heated seconds.
Quivering, Leah pressed her forehead against Bella's, closed her eyes, and released a slow, self-soothing breath.
What little experience Bella had had taught her one thing, for sure. Every time Edward or Jacob made the same gesture, it was because they felt overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions at that moment - Love, happiness, fear, hesitance, temptation, or need. Desire, too.
Bella felt all of those same things, then and now. Then again, of course, she did. It was Leah, with her flawless skin and a backside Bella thought about far too often over the last few weeks.
The second thing both men had taught her was that tender moments are fleeting. Leah needed to be comforted as much as she did. Each woman felt deprived of affection in more ways than one. Besides that, Leah's warmth seemed to encompass her, a familiar comfort Bella missed and longed for.
Bella leaned in again, grazing her lips across the tear trail on Leah's other cheek. She did it again and again, slowly, tenderly. First up, then down Leah's cheek, close enough to brush the side of her lips as she passed toward Leah's jaw.
Then, unexpectedly, warm, full lips kissed her back. Bella shivered as Leah's lips ghosted along her jaw with an equally feather-light touch. As each slowly turned inward, their lips met, parted, and hesitated slightly before melding together. Bella moved one hand back to Leah's waist and cupped her neck with the other as the kiss deepened.
Kissing Leah differed greatly from the simple fantasy Bella had concocted that day in the car. It was hotter, wetter, and far more intense as each gradually turned further toward the other, twining their bodies together. Each slight movement furthered the sensations, each gentle caress sparking trails of heat that settled lower in Bella's stomach before escaping in short, quiet whimpers. Leah moaned as Bella's hand moved from her waist to her hip. Her perfect, rounded ass was within tempting reach. As Leah's hand slipped under Bella's shirt toward her ribs, Bella reached lower. Leah moaned again as Bella's palm slid over her ass, unconsciously trying to pull her closer. And then, Bella was in pure bliss as warm, thin fingers skimmed her breast before tentatively cupping her palm over it. They remained that way for a while, kissing and exploring, carefully groping one another. Each seemed hesitant to push the other too far despite Leah's long legs tightening around hers, each practically grinding the other's thigh.
Eventually, Leah's hand slid to Bella's back, instinctively tugging her closer. The pressure made Bella cry out as her back spasmed and she arched in pain.
They pulled apart quickly as Bella writhed backward. Leah sat up and pulled Bella with her, urging her to lean forward as she stroked the tight muscles. Bella obeyed, pressing the crown of her head to Leah's chest as Leah tugged at her shirt hem, lifting it to press both warm palms against Bella's bare skin. She continued rubbing until the tension lessened.
Bella slowly sat back to look up at Leah, who grinned at her nervously before placing a quick, chaste kiss on Bella's lips.
Unsure of what to think, Bella giggled and carefully extracted herself, moving to rest her back against the pillows at the headboard. Leah sighed, looking equally dazed as she pushed her hair back and curled her legs under her on the bed.
Each stared at the other timidly, unsure what to say. An awkward silence filled the room.
Bella looked away first as the haze of sensations and emotions swirling inside her eased, and the same old, unsettling worry took over. She couldn't help but question her actions. Leah was her only real friend right now. Had she just ruined that by letting herself get carried away? Sure, Bella had felt attraction toward Leah for months, but had they just crossed a line? She wasn't any more sure about her feelings for Leah than she had been with Jacob.
Despite everything, the thought of Jacob made Bella feel guilty. But, as she looked back into Leah's flushed face and wide smile, that guilt quickly faded. Bella felt so many things where Leah was concerned. She was incredibly attracted to her, but that guaranteed nothing. After everything she experienced over the previous year, Bella clearly didn't understand true romantic love. Friendship, she understood. Lust, she somewhat understood. But Love? Everyone she loved walked away without looking back. How was that love?
Hoping she didn't sound as afraid as she felt, Bella teased, "I'm not in love with you, you know?" And yet, despite the worry of it all, she couldn't stop smiling.
"Well, that's a good thing since I'm not in love with your ass, either." Leah chuckled and pushed her hair back again. "I have love for you, though. You're pretty much my best friend now."
Bella nodded. "But what the hell just happened here?"
"Comfort, I suppose?" Leah said and nodded as if the answer surprised her, too. "I mean, I think that's what it was." She grimaced and asked, "Do we have to analyze it?"
Bella bowed her head over her lap, hugging her knee to her chest as she picked at a loose thread on the sheet. "I suppose not." Overanalyzing situations had never helped her before. She rubbed her aching cheeks with the opposite hand as her smile faded.
Worriedly, Leah asked, "Is this going to hurt us?"
Bella glanced up at Leah, who looked like she might cry. Would it hurt us? Could it? Bella didn't want to imagine her life without Leah in it. She trusted her implicitly. Leah was all she had now besides Charlie - and maybe Quil, if he was allowed to talk to her.
Unable to help it, Bella shrugged timidly and winced. Leah dropped her gaze as Bella fearfully blinked back fresh tears. She moved to the edge of her bed, preparing to stand.
"No," Leah said firmly, answering the question herself. "We know what we mean to each other, and this doesn't have to change anything. Right? We'll be fine."
The affirmation flooded Bella with relief, and she instantly brightened as she stood up. "Yeah? Are you sure?"
Leah nodded, looked at the alarm clock, and cringed. "Should you get back in bed before Charlie gets here?"
Bella smirked, unsurprised by the sudden change of topic. It wasn't nearly as late as she'd thought when she came upstairs. "Nah. He doesn't seem to care much about what hours I keep." She carefully stretched and paced a few steps, willing the ache in her back to leave. She looked up to find Leah standing, wiggling out of her shorts, revealing the tight boy-cut briefs underneath. They were oddly fitting on Leah's curvaceous yet firm figure. For a second, Bella couldn't look away.
Leah crawled back into the bed and laid down, dragging the blanket over her from its bunched-up placement at the foot of the bed.
Bella snickered and asked, "What are you doing?"
Grinning, Leah teased, "What's it look like, Swan? I'm taking my happy ass to bed. I'm tired."
Bella laughed as she realized they had quickly returned to normal, as though the last half hour hadn't happened. It was a bittersweet feeling, but she smiled.
Bella climbed back into bed next to Leah and resettled herself on her side. Leah tossed the other side of the blanket over Bella. She promptly and dramatically snuggled into the mattress, finding a comfortable position as Bella laughed.
"Try to get some sleep, Bells," Leah said, her words slightly garbled as she yawned. "I'm sure your back will thank you for it tomorrow."
"I guess the outside will reflect the inside," Bella joked half-heartedly. Leah shook her head as she draped one arm over Bella's side. Bella closed her eyes, appreciating the warmth and quiet sound of Leah's breathing as each fell asleep.