Kate knew she'd gone too far when she didn't see Jensen for a week. She didn't really know what had possessed her to kiss his cheek, but she'd felt like the moment had called for it. She regretted it now. She hated to lose his friendship. She wasn't planning to turn it into anything more than that, but she thought he might be thinking she was. Maybe she really did want to and he sensed it before she did.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

"Hey, girl, you ready?" Tavs asked, jolting her back to the present.

"Huh? Yea," Kate said quickly, getting her bearings. It was Friday, early evening, and they were going to the ballgame. They were (apparently) going to beat Jensen this time. Her heart skipped slightly at the thought of seeing him. Would things be awkward?

"You daydreaming?" Tavs inquired, chortling a little as she walked alongside Kate to the car.

"No," Kate answered, keeping her voice as non-guilty sounding as she could. She lowered her window and rested her elbow on the edge as Tavs drove. Thankfully, Tavs did not press further, so Kate began to relax again. She listened as Tavs talked about Antonio. Apparently, things were still going slow between them but looked promising.

When they arrived, Kate pulled her ball cap low over her eyes and pretended to not look for Jensen.

"Auntie Tavs! Auntie Kate!" Piper called, running towards them now. Tavs bent to grab her and swing her up against her hip, planting a big kiss on her cheek.

"Hi, baby!" Tavs replied, rubbing her nose against Piper's neck and making the girl squeal with laughter and squish her neck to make it stop. "Where's your daddy? I wanna tell him he's gonna get crushed today."

"He's over there," Piper said, pointing. "And he said you're going to need to put on boxing gloves cos you're gonna get beat on."

"Oho!" Tavs exclaimed, setting Piper down now. "Well, we shall see about that." Piper was grinning and finding everything hilarious. Kate was trying to calm her now racing heart, and she didn't even know why it was racing.

A hand on her shoulder suddenly made her yelp and jump in fright, and she spun to find Jensen right next to her. Her heart dropped to her feet, but not in a bad way.

"You can put that away," he told her, nodding his head towards her balled fist that was cocked. Kate hadn't even realized she'd done it, and she felt embarrassed as she relaxed it and dropped it to her side again.

"Sorry," she said.

"Don't be. I like that you're ready for a fight," Jensen replied. He clapped her shoulder in a friendly way and turned to Tavs. "Hey, quit fraternizing with my daughter. On the ball field, we are enemies."

"I'm pretty sure you sent her over to get me all gaga over her cuteness so I'd lose concentration," Tavs retorted. "So don't give me that."

Kate stood still with her hand resting on the spot Jensen had touched as she watched Jensen and Tavs square off with each other and pretend to be all rough and tough with each other.

"You're going down, J," Tavs warned, pointing at him.

"You wish," he said back, smirking. Piper took his hand before they headed back for his team. Tavs stuck her tongue out at his receding back.

"You're really competitive," Kate noted.

"Damn right," Tavs confirmed with a laugh. Kate hung back as Tavs approached her team, gathering them into a huddle. Kate looked over to see Jensen watching, and his eyes found hers a second later. She inhaled involuntarily, feeling her face growing a bit flushed. What was wrong with her?! He gave his crooked smile before turning away and talking to his own team.

"Hey," Tavs said, getting her attention. "Focus."

Kate held up her hands in mock surrender and half listened to Tavs's pitch to her team about being winners. She watched the game start, and she offered encouragement and support when needed. If she was honest, she was barely paying attention.

So when Tavs's team won, it took Kate a full five seconds to register it.

"Hey! Good job!" she said, accepting a high five from one of the kids on their way by. Tavs was doing a victory dance while Jensen just shook his head, but he was smiling.

"We get to have pizza, right?" Micah asked as the others were still exclaiming and whooping about their victory.

"You know it!" Tavs answered, ruffling his hair and then grimacing to herself as she wiped his sweat off on her shirt. Kate snickered lightly.

"That seems unfair that they only get pizza if they win," she commented.

"They need some incentive," Tavs said with a laugh. "And they're not deprived. I always take them for ice cream no matter if they win or lose. Pizza is just a bonus."

"I see."

Tavs went to keep congratulating her team, and Kate stood off to the side, watching. She turned slightly when Jensen came up beside her.

"I will never hear the end of it," he said, crossing his arms as he watched too.

"Well, you can only stay the best for so long," she advised, eyes twinkling. He worked to suppress his smirk, giving a light scoff of laughter in the end.

"You tell her to watch it next time," he said, gesturing with his chin towards Tavs.

"I think it's you who better watch it," she replied.

"Well," he said. "Look who's been turned competitive." She gave him a wink and left him standing there. She couldn't take the fluttering from his closeness anymore. She looked at him over her shoulder with a smile as she walked, and he gave his crooked smile again in return. Then she started to laugh as Tavs began singing "We Are the Champions" at the top of her lungs, making the kids join in.

As much as she enjoyed being with the winners, she found herself wanting to actually be with Jensen.

...

Jensen hadn't meant to avoid Kate for so long. It was just that every time he thought about seeing her, he'd think about her lips on his cheek, and it made him think of what it would be like to really kiss her, which made him spiral into feelings of guilt...then he'd hear Suzy in his head tell him to grow up and move on already. Rinse and repeat. It was just easier to not see her and risk ruining their friendship over a stupid thought.

Piper was in bed, and he was working on a surprise for her while keeping an ear on the monitor. She didn't wake up in the middle of the night as much anymore, which he was grateful for. He was lost in his thoughts when footsteps approached. He slightly tensed until he saw it was Kate, her hands in her pockets and a cigarette dangling from her lips.

"Haven't quit yet, huh?" he asked. It still surprised him that she smoked, but it had made him relieved to know it had probably been her that night he'd thought someone was watching the house.

"Last one," she answered.

"I bet you say that every time," he retorted, and she laughed.

"You're half right."

"What does it mean to you?" he asked, taking her by surprise.

"I didn't realize you were secretly a therapist," she said, and it was his turn to laugh.

"I just feel that we do things because it has meaning," he replied after a moment. "So answer the question."

"Ugh, fine," she said dramatically. She put out her cigarette then and sat down on the stump next to him while he worked. "I guess I smoke because it's something my older brother did when he needed to think, and I just ended up mimicking him. Although, I started doing it when I was stressed or bored, so I lost the point of doing it a while ago."

"I see." He hadn't guessed she had siblings, which he didn't know why. Most people did have them. Not everyone was an only child like he was.

"Neil was my favorite," Kate went on, sounding wistful. "He always had time for me. Then he met Julie, and I got left behind. Actually, I got left behind a lot sooner than that. I was the youngest of four, and because I was the 'whoops' child, I was six years younger than the last child my parents had. It made me 12 years younger than my oldest sibling, Coralee."

"Sounds rough."

"I remember spending a lot of time by myself while they all went about doing their own thing," she went on. "Neil was the second youngest. Robbie was the second oldest. Coralee rarely gave me the time of day. Needless to say, I don't really know her that well."

"Sounds like a lonely childhood," he remarked, and she gave a grim smile.

"Pretty much."

"No friends?"

"Eh, a few. I'm more of a loner, if you haven't noticed."

"I did, but I also noticed you're hanging out with us or Tavs more often than not," he pointed out.

"I guess I'm trying to shake things up," she replied, smiling. "So, what are you doing anyway?"

"Making a swing for Piper," he answered, finishing it finally.

"Aw, she'll like that."

"I won't be able to get her off it," he joked, moving towards the tree now. "Mind giving me a hand?"

"Sure."

He climbed the tree easily, making sure the rope was secure after Kate tossed both ends up to him one at a time. He came back down, landing with a thud on his feet. They both looked at it.

"Nope," she said when he looked at her, and he started to laugh.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"Cos I'm not stupid," she replied, looking at him. "I am not testing that out for you. I like avoiding broken bones, thank you very much."

"Alright then," he caved. "I'll do it. Make sure you raise Piper right after I break my neck."

"See, that isn't helping me want to do it for you any more than I already do," she advised. He grinned and went to test it out. He noticed Kate looked slightly worried but started to relax when he pumped lightly and nothing happened.

"Well done," she said when he stopped a moment later.

"It'll do," he agreed, getting up. They stood there, looking at each other until Kate appeared almost shy.

"I...I'm sorry for overstepping last week," she said then. "I shouldn't have."

"It's okay," he said softly. "You had a really good day; I appreciated the gesture that expressed how you felt."

She nodded slowly, and he stood there debating on telling her that last Saturday had been just as special to him when she cleared her throat.

"I, uh...I'll leave you to it," she said. "Have a good night."

"You too." He didn't want her to go, but he didn't know how to tell her to stay either. She gave a small smile and walked away. He watched her go until the darkness swallowed her whole.

The Next Day

Kate did not want to admit how much she was thinking about Piper and Jensen's Saturday routine. She itched to go and join them, but she felt like it would be pushing it way too much. She sat on her deck and listened to the day starting all by herself. She smoked a few cigarettes, watching her pack dwindle down to just a few left. She seriously considered quitting for real.

Then, she heard Piper's excited squeal and chatter, and she knew the girl had seen her swing. She imagined her on it, hair flying and wearing a big grin. Her heart ached with wanting to be a part of it.

"Hi, little girl," she said when Daisy found her. The dog rested her head on her legs, and she pet her slowly. Then Daisy went to find her food and water as usual. Kate finished her cigarette, put it out, and stood to stretch. She winced as her back cracked and a minor pain went through her. Getting old kind of sucked.

She trotted down to the beach, needing to feel sand under her feet; it was warm between her toes as she walked. Then she eventually sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest a bit, hanging an arm loosely over her knee. She gave a start when Tavs emerged from the water, and that's when she registered the towel off to the right on the ground.

"What're you doing here all by yourself?" she asked Kate as she approached, dripping everywhere. She picked up her towel and wiped her face with it.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Fair enough. You don't wanna swim?"

"Not right now."

"Alright. No J?"

"No," Kate answered, hoping she sounded nonchalant. "I think he's busy with Piper."

"We both know damn well he's with Piper," Tavs said with a laugh. "What's gotten into you? You seem...dark...and moody." She gestured with her hand. Kate gave a bit of a rueful smile.

"Welcome to the real me," she stated.

"I don't believe that," Tavs declared. "I think the real you is being suffocated by the darkness." She finished drying herself off and began heading to the trail to her place. "Don't let it win, Kate. It's a long, sad life if you do."

Kate said nothing, but the words hit her hard. She did used to be fun. She did used to smile more often and laugh lots. She did have hopes and dreams for the future despite the pain of losing her father.

And then Evan came along.

The feelings that came with thinking about him were a swift kick to the gut. She clenched her fists. She did not like thinking about him let alone talking about him. He was best left in the past.

"Oh, Kate?" Tavs called, making her look back towards her friend.

"Yea?"

"Dinner at my place tonight. Six."

"Okay." She wasn't going to turn down a free meal. That would just be rude.

...

It had been challenging to get Piper off the swing to do her morning teeth cleaning. Jensen was happy she loved it. He liked that simple things made her so excited; he hoped that would never go away. He wiped down the counters and table from breakfast, thinking about Kate. He had to admit that he'd expected her to show up and hang out with them, but she didn't. Maybe she thought he didn't want her there.

Which was so far from the truth.

"All done," Piper said, coming back. She flashed her teeth at him in an exaggerated manner. He bent down to take a dramatic sniff after she gave a strong exhale.

"Yea, you passed," he stated. "This time." He gave her a playful warning look, and she giggled before rushing back to the swing. Cartoons were definitely forgotten today, which was fine. Jensen liked her being outside anyway.

"Hey, nice swing!" Tavs said on her way by.

"Daddy made it for me," Piper said proudly as she pumped.

"What a sweet man," Tavs replied, giving Jensen a look. He tried and failed to bite down his smile. "You know what you need?"

"What?"

"A nice dinner. Come by tonight around six."

"Can we, Daddy? Pleeeaaase?" Piper begged.

"Yea, sounds good," he agreed, and Piper let her pleasure be known very quickly.

"If you want some time tonight, I don't mind keeping an eye on her for a bit," Tavs added.

"I'll think about it."

"You do that."

He smiled as she turned away to keep walking home. Then he looked behind him to see Kate making her way to her place. Her head was down, as if she was intentionally trying not to look at him. He wondered why she was doing that and why it made him feel hurt inside.

"Daddy, push me!" Piper ordered.

"What do you say?"

"Please," she added sweetly. He reached to catch her toes, making her shriek with laughter. Then he went behind her and began to push her, dodging her dangling feet when she came back at him. It was these simple moments right here that he lived for, and he never wanted to imagine not having them.

Later

"Where's Kate?" Jensen asked as Tavs set the table. He knew she was supposed to be there too since Tavs had told him. She glanced at her watch.

"Huh," she said. "I'm not sure. She was going for a swim around four. I haven't seen her since." She looked at Jensen now, and he couldn't explain the prickling feeling spreading through his stomach and body. He'd noticed Kate had seemed out of sorts earlier, but she wouldn't...would she?

"You're worried," Tavs noted, watching his face carefully.

"Just curious," Jensen said, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. His mind was racing. He'd had those kinds of thoughts before. He knew that most people who were serious about it said nothing to anyone. He hadn't pegged Kate for feeling that way, but maybe she did. How well did he really know her? Was that why she was so drawn to him and Piper? She was looking for a reason to stay?

"Feel free to check up on her. I'll keep an eye on Pippy Longstocking over there," Tavs said, nodding her head in the direction of Piper, who was coloring vigorously. Her pigtails were sticking out at the sides, and her tongue was poking out of the corner of her mouth.

"Alright," he agreed. He pushed off the counter and went out the side door. He walked to the beach, the wind tugging at his clothes. He stood on the sand and shaded his eyes with a hand, searching the water. He didn't see her, and he was about to assume she wasn't there when her head popped up. He relaxed instantly, relieved she was okay, when she disappeared again seconds later. He waited, but she didn't come back up. He counted to thirty with still no sign of her.

"Shit," he said, kicking his shoes off. There wasn't too much of a current, but still. It was windy and the waves were a fair size. He knew even a strong swimmer could get into trouble. He tore across the sand and into the water. He wondered how long she'd been struggling out there.

"Kate!" he shouted when he saw her appear again. She didn't hear him and was gone once more. He swam hard, his clothes weighing him down a bit. He went under to get her when he saw her. It took him three seconds to catch on that she was screaming. It gave him chills hearing it, not to mention seeing her eyes closed and her hands pressed against her face, fingers spread out. When she finished, she swam up to the surface. Jensen came up seconds later.

Kate shrieked in fright at the sight of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, treading water.

"I think the real question is: What are you doing?" she countered.

"You've been out here a while, so I got concerned," he answered. He couldn't read her expression very well, but he knew she wasn't used to many people caring about her.

"I'm fine," she said. Then she gestured to the shore. "As you were."

"Why are you screaming, Kate?" he asked, not letting it go. Her face changed, and he realized she hadn't known he'd witnessed that. He didn't normally pry, but he couldn't help himself.

"I just...I gotta let it out sometimes, you know?" she said as nonchalantly as possible. Her eyes were pleading with him not to ask anymore about it, so he decided to respect that. He felt relief inside that she wasn't out here trying to end her life.

"Does it help?" he asked instead.

"Yea," she answered. "It does."

Jensen didn't know what else to say, so he just bobbed his head in return. He braced himself for a wave, turning his head as it crashed next to his face.

"I lost track of time. Supper's probably ready soon, right?" Kate asked now.

"Yea."

"I'll be right in," she promised. He took that as his cue to leave, so he gave another nod and started to make his way back to the shore. He turned a moment later, seeing her gone again. He couldn't help it. He went under.

There was just something incredibly haunting about what she was doing. He could feel her pain and relief from letting it out at the same time in that scream. He surfaced before she was done so she wouldn't know he'd snooped. He swam slowly to shore, contemplating on trying it for himself.

He had a lot of pain he still needed to release too.

"Well?" Tavs asked when he returned. He'd changed first, and she took in his new attire with a questioning look.

"She's fine," he answered.

"Did you get wet?" she asked.

"Yea," he answered.

"Daddy, look!" Piper said excitedly now as she came over to him. She handed him a drawing, which he held up to examine.

"Looks great, love," he said.

"I made it for Auntie Kate," she said proudly. "Do you think she'll like it?" Jensen looked at his daughter's hopeful face, and he recognized that she was craving a mother figure. She'd latched onto Kate a bit more than Tavs (although no one could replace Aunt Tavs...ever), and Jensen wondered if she picked up on the tension between him and Kate too, if she sensed that Kate could possibly be her stepmother and that's why she attached herself more to her.

"I think she'll love it," he told her.

"I made a wish the other night," Piper went on, looking shy suddenly.

"What's that?"

"I wished for Auntie Kate to be in our family for real."

"What do you mean?" he asked, but he knew.

"I want her to live with us and be my second mommy."

"I see." Something about this simple statement from his daughter struck him to the core, but he didn't know how to respond. Hell, he didn't know what to feel.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad," Piper said.

"No, no. Not sad," he assured her. "It's a nice wish, Piper. Thank you for sharing." Piper beamed and took the drawing from him to go show Tavs, who marveled over it and gave her kisses. Ten minutes later, Kate walked in with her hair damp around her shoulders. They locked eyes for a moment, and he sensed that she felt a bit more exposed around him now. He felt slightly charged inside because he knew his daughter wanted her to be her new mother and she had no idea.

"Auntie Kate!" Piper exclaimed, seeing her. "I made this for you!"

"Aw, that's sweet of you. Thank you."

Jensen watched Kate bend down to Piper's level and examine the drawing. She was smiling and reached to tug Piper's one pigtail playfully, making the girl laugh and run away. He noticed something in her eyes as she looked at the drawing again. It was hard to explain what it looked like...maybe hope or longing.

"Alright, get your grub on," Tavs ordered, setting the last plate of food on the table. Jensen caught Piper and set her on her booster seat. Kate sat away from him and avoided looking in his direction. He got occupied with Piper anyway, and then Tavs was making them laugh with a story of something funny that happened to her earlier that day. Jensen enjoyed these moments. He'd never really had friends in his life, and it was nice to be a part of something like this.

"Auntie Tavs, can we watch a movie?" Piper asked hopefully once supper was eaten and cleaned up.

"I don't see why not," Tavs answered.

"You're babysitting then?" Kate asked, curious. Jensen was giving Piper a kiss goodbye on the top of her head but was half listening.

"Yea. J's gonna go out for a bit."

"Oh."

"You look like you could use a night out yourself," Tavs added.

"No, I'm fine..."

"J, take her with you," Tavs ordered, and Jensen knew better than to argue. He stood up straight and went to join them.

"Really, it's fine," Kate insisted.

"Come on," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder and steering her to the door. "Let's go."

"I...but..."

"Have fun!" Tavs called behind them. Jensen smiled. He was definitely going to be having some fun.

...

"Where are we going?" Kate asked as Jensen drove. She still felt like she shouldn't have come. He'd called someone as they walked to his place, and then he'd grabbed his keys and corralled her to his truck.

"You'll see," he replied, staring ahead and resting his arm on the window. Kate was curious the further they drove. When they approached a big gathering of people and cars, she suddenly realized what was happening.

"We're watching a race?" she inquired when he parked and shut off the engine. He turned his head to look at her.

"Maybe you are," he said, "but I'll be in it."

"Wait...what?!" she exclaimed, but he was already exiting the truck, tugging off his button up shirt and tossing it onto the seat. She tried not to be distracted by his body in that white tank top as she got out too and hurried after him as he strode towards a certain small group of men and women.

"There he is!" a man called, stepping forward with a huge grin on his face. He grasped Jensen's hand and pulled him into a bro type hug. Jensen was smiling in return.

"You got her all ready for me?" Jensen asked, tilting his head.

"Of course. Only the best for my best driver," the man answered. Then he caught sight of Kate, who was hanging back and feeling awkward. "Who is the lovely lady?"

"A friend of mine," Jensen answered. "Kate."

"Hi, Kate. I'm Nemo," the man said.

"Nice to meet you," Kate said back. Nemo as in the cartoon fish? She noticed it suited him, though. She followed them as Nemo led Jensen to a dark blue souped-up Challenger. She watched as Jensen looked under the hood and then nodded to Nemo.

"Alright," Jensen said to her when he came back. "You good to hang out here?"

"I guess," she replied. She felt a little bit nervous for him and wasn't sure why. "I honestly would not have pegged you for a racer."

"I like speed," he said. "What can I say?"

"You're crazy."

"I already knew that," he said with a playful wink. She shook her head at him as he smirked and went to get the car keys from Nemo.

"Good luck, amigo," Nemo said to him.

"Thanks." Jensen got into the car and started it, moving it over to where the starting line was. Kate felt out of place in this type of crowd. She got jostled and bumped into enough times that she went to find a higher spot to sit and watch. She could see the car Jensen was in, but it was too dark and the windows were too tinted to see him. She wondered if he could see her. A woman with too tight of clothing went to stand in front of the line and waved a flag. When she dropped it, all the cars tore off. Kate lost sight of them when they rounded the farthest corner, and she knew all she could do was wait for them to come back.

...

Jensen felt the most alive when he raced. Every movement was registered. Every second was filled with concentration. He slid through a corner easily, overtaking a car and getting into third place. He'd driven this track many times, so he knew every bump, every corner, and every pothole to avoid. He caught up to second place and drafted behind them for a bit before finding his chance to slip by. He prepped his NOS, getting ready for the moment to overtake first place.

Kate had her screaming, he had speed.

Of course, he wouldn't object to trying something new, but this was how he let go of everything. This was how he stayed in the here and now.

He pressed down on the button, and then he was streaking across the finish line.

...

Kate winced as people hollered and shouted when Jensen won the race. She guessed it was something he did a lot of since most of the people here seemed to know him. She watched Nemo high five him after and slip him some cash. She felt the federal agent in her cringe at all of this, but the new version of herself was trying to be open to having some fun here.

"Well, aren't you a big shot," she commented when Jensen finally came back to her after spotting her. She was leaning against his truck now with her arms crossed.

"Just lucky sometimes," he answered, pocketing his cash. She lifted a brow.

"So you do this a lot then?"

"Once a month roughly."

"I see."

A man with baggy pants and a backwards ball cap approached her then, and she immediately stiffened.

"Hey, baby," he said, sounding a bit drunk. "You wanna hang?"

"I'm good," Kate answered, pushing off the truck and squaring off to him.

...

Jensen felt his stomach clench as this blatant attempt to hook up with Kate by this arsehole, but he made no move as he watched Kate stand her ground.

"I think we'd have a great time," the man insisted.

"I think you won't be able to handle me, and you'll wind up getting hurt," Kate retorted. Jensen bit down his laugh; the guy just didn't seem to get it yet.

"I can handle lots," he told her, moving closer. Then he moved to grab her rear, and Jensen had never seen someone move so fast in his life. It left him a bit awestruck if he was honest. The man was on the ground howling, and Kate was already opening the passenger side of the truck door.

"You coming?" she asked, and Jensen went to get in without a word, putting his discarded shirt behind the seat. He was still hot from the adrenaline rush. He started to laugh a bit as they drove farther away.

"What?" She looked at him.

"You're just full of sass," he replied. "It's awesome." He looked at her, and she couldn't hide her grin. They were both laughing a moment later, and then she reached to crank up the radio when "Hell Yeah" came on.

"I love this song," she said to justify her action. He didn't care. When she started singing at the top of her lungs, he found that he really, really enjoyed seeing this side of her.

And he hoped she would continue to let it shine.

I hope this story is still being enjoyed :) What are your thoughts so far?