Lost
Harry's eyes fluttered open and the first thing he felt was a terrible ache around his jaw. He tried to rub his jaw and it jarred his senses when he realized his hands and legs were bound tightly. Memories of hanging from the chain were threatening to overcome him when Mal's face loomed over him, but he calmed down a little when Mal just sat down opposite him without any malicious intent.
"So you're awake, again," Mal said.
He tried to break free but the ropes were bound securely. "Why am I here?"
"You were freaking out," Mal replied simply.
"Wait a minute," Harry said frowning. "You punched me!"
"Hey, you were the one waving my gun around. Don't blame me for knocking you out which by the way was very, very easy," he said snorting.
Harry narrowed his eyes in anger and struggled to free himself of his bonds. "Let me go," he said when he couldn't even loosen them.
Mal smirked, "and let you steal another gun to wave around like a lunatic? No thanks."
"What do you want from me?" Harry hissed. This was definitely one of Voldemort's mind games and he was not going to fall for it.
"I want answers," Mal said calmly.
"Well don't waste your breath, I won't tell you anything."
"Then I'm going to have my man Jayne have a little one-on-one with you until you loosen your tongue."
"You're going to have me tortured?" Harry said looking unimpressed. "How original," he sneered. "Try something new for once in your life scum! I knew it from the beginning; this is all just a mind trick that you're using to break me! Well, it won't work!"
Mal frowned. "What are you talking about?"
But Harry wasn't listening. "Although you don't look like my regulars," he said darkly. "Has Voldemort started to hire male strippers to do his dirty work now?!"
"Now hold on just a minute! I know I'm good-looking, but calling me a male stripper is going a step too far! Who the hell do you think I am kid?"
Harry scoffed. "Look at you. Is that even your face or just a glamour you're using to cover that ugly mug of yours?
"Tell me, who are you!" he screamed.
"Look Harry," Mal said trying his best to stay calm. "I don't know what gorram nonsense you're spewing but I am Captain Malcolm Reynolds and this is my boat, Serenity."
"Do. You. Understand?"
Harry sneered.
"You remember what you saw on the bridge don't you? That was real. I am real and I am no imposter. Look around you. Do you think this is all fake? Do you want me to put you in the airlock and cast you out into space to make you believe us? Now I want you to calm yourself and talk about this rationally."
Harry suddenly looked a tad unsure of himself. This didn't seem like one of Voldemort's mind games anymore and added to that he wasn't feeling any pain too. Could this be a spectacular deception and was Voldemort laughing his noseless face off at the confusion Harry was going through? He looked into Mal's eyes and read his surface thoughts.
Crazy… Serenity… keep crew safe… who is he?… Alliance spy… another River? There was no resistance from Mal and Harry doubted he even realized that he was reading his mind. Harry could not believe it. Was he really in the future, in a ship that was flying in outer space? The thought boggled his mind!
Harry decided to play this out and see what happens. There was still a chance that this was all an incredible illusion but he couldn't imagine what the purpose of it was.
"Now do I need to punch some sense into you or are you going to start thinking and talking rationally?"
Harry stilled and then shrugged, "Do you worst."
Mal sighed. "How old are you kid?" he asked. He had hoped the threat of Jayne would loosen his tongue but it turns out the kid knew a little something about pain if his rants about torture were anything to go by. His eyes too were haunted and Mal knew… he knew in his heart that this kid had gone through hell.
"Seventeen," Harry muttered.
He was the same age as River and maybe just as mad as she was. Could he possibly be one of the students from the academy? Mal thought with worry.
"I already have one psychotic girl on my vessel and I just have to know, are you right in the head?"
Harry looked very insulted. "Of course I am," he said.
"Then why the rutting hell do you want to go the Earth that was! What, do you think you live there? Were you in a nut house before you came to be stuck inside a slab?"
Harry was quiet. He thought about Voldemort's last words to him but he couldn't recall the exact words. The nerve-racking pain he had to bear had clouded his memories about that time. What he did remember was something about Voldemort sealing him forever.
"Are we really in space?" Harry asked, holding his breath in anticipation of the answer.
"Yes," replied Mal and Harry felt all the air rush out of his body.
For how long had he been sealed? Harry thought in dismay but he kept his emotions under control thanks to his occlumency. "And this is a spaceship?"
"As I said before, yes and her name is Serenity. Now that I've answered few of your questions I want you to answer a few of mine."
Harry nodded hesitantly.
"Where are you from?"
"I err, I'm from Surrey," Harry said thinking quickly. The man had mentioned the term Earth that was a few times and the only reason for that, Harry deduced, was that Earth was no more and muggles had finally achieved their dream of travelling beyond their own atmosphere.
"Surrey?" Mal said with a frown. "I've never heard of that planet."
Harry's hypothesis turned out to be right and that did nothing to ease his mind.
"The name could have changed," Harry said. "It's been a long time since I've been there."
Mal raised an eyebrow. A planet that had its name changed in apparently the last seventeen years? He didn't need to be an expert to know that was a lie. "And would you care to explain how you turned into a slab of stone and back?"
"I think I might have mentioned that Voldemort guy," said Harry trying his very best to sound convincing. He also found it a little amusing that the man didn't even twitch at the dark lord's name.
"Accused us of being in league with him you did," Mal said giving Harry a hard look.
Harry had the grace to look sheepish.
"He murdered my friends and then somehow used, err, some technology to do that to me. I don't know how long ago that was."
"So this Voldemort guy wasn't Alliance."
The Alliance seemed to sound like some sort of group to Harry and a peek into the captain's mind told him that they were tyrants who ruled over this 'verse' with an iron fist. "Almost the same as Voldemort," he thought. "No, he wasn't," he said confidently. "Do you mind letting me go now?"
"Do you promise not to freak out on me?"
"I won't," Harry promised. His hands and legs had gone numb and he really didn't like that feeling.
"Oh one last question," Mal said before cutting Harry's bonds. "Is there any place you'd want to get off at?"
Harry's brain froze. He hadn't considered that at all. Of course, the captain wouldn't want him on the ship.
"Beaumonde," he said, plucking the first planet's name that was floating in the Captain's mind. "I'd like to get off at Beaumonde."
Mal looked at Harry calculatingly. He was certain there was never any planet by the name of Surrey and he knew there was something strange about the boy. He decided to test the boy's knowledge about the verse and was quite surprised to find that he actually knew the name of a planet. Of course, it would be easy to catch the kid in the lie but he didn't press the matter. He honestly didn't feel the boy was a threat to them.
"Alright then," said the Captain. "You can get off once we get there but until then I expect you to work on my boat. I don't like slackers so you best find something you're good at to do understand?"
"Yes sir," Harry said quickly and was very relieved when Mal freed him. He gently rubbed his aching wrists and ankle to get the blood to circulate again and then stood up carefully.
"Are you hungry?"
"I'm famished Captain."
Harry and Mal stepped out and came face to face with a smirking Jayne holding a very big and very sharp knife in one hand and a submachine gun in the other.
"Do I get to torture him yet?" he asked eagerly. "Is he an Alliance lackey?"
"No," Mal said rolling his eyes, "And put the gun away," he added.
"What about the kid? Isn't he dangerous?"
"For now he's not," he said appraising Harry.
Jayne huffed. "Fine," he grouched, "Let's trust the freaky kid instead," he grumbled and followed Harry and Mal to the kitchen while grumbling about more passengers under his breath.
Kaylee was the first to greet them when they reached. "Oh hey cap'n," she said cheerfully. "And you too Harry. Cap'n decided you weren't a threat huh."
Harry smiled tiredly. "I guess so," he said, "But I couldn't exactly say the same about that big guy over there," he added.
"Oh don't mind Jayne," Kaylee said giggling, "He's just got too much testosterone in him and a shrivelled-up pea instead of a brain between his ears. Now come on and join us," she said grabbing his hand and pulled along an amused Harry.
Walking in this ship was so noisy, thought Harry. The constant clanging of metal against metal, the thrum of the engine, the sound of his new boots against the metal floor and the crew were even noisier. They were laughing and talking loudly but when he stepped into the room all of them went silent.
"This is Harry Potter," Mal said thumping Harry on the back, hard. "He'll be joining our crew for a little while. Why don't ya'll introduce each other?"
One by one they said their names and Harry committed them to memory. Ever since he had gained a good grasp on occlumency and legilimency his memory power had gone up too. The girl with the scary eyes, sitting next to the doctor didn't say anything when her turn came and everyone looked at her curiously.
"River," Simon said, "Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"
"To whom?" she asked not bothering to look up.
"Err... the young man standing in front of us?" he said with a confused laugh.
"There's no one there," River said in matter-of-fact tone. "He doesn't exist so there's no need for introductions." She went back to eating and not once looked at Harry.
"Sure he exists, River," Wash said, beaming with importance. "I created him!"
"You just released him from that techno cage husband," Zoe retorted.
"Anyhow," Mal interrupted, "He's joining us for dinner and we'll figure out what to do with him later. But for now eat," he said and pushed Harry to the table.
Harry took a seat next to Inara and thanked Kaylee who filled his plate for him. The food tasted weird but it was oddly filling. Nobody talked with him much but he particularly kept an eye on Jayne who seemed to be ready to chuck him out into space and that mysterious girl, River, who seemed to think he didn't exist. Her behaviour reminded him a bit of Luna and he felt a pang of guilt and sadness thinking about his friends.
Slowly the people in the dining room filtered out and finally, it was just Mal, Zoe and Harry.
He squirmed in his seat as the two scrutinized him. "Is there something you wanted?" he asked nervously.
"We know you were not telling the truth about everything," Mal said straightaway.
Harry opened his mouth to protest.
"But!" Mal interrupted loudly before Harry had a chance to speak, "Everybody is entitled to their secrets and I respect that. It's a dangerous world out here and all I'll say is this, you so much as twitch a finger in the wrong direction; with the wrong intentions and I'll pump you full of lead." Mal said this while casually resting his hand on his gun.
Harry's eyes went cold at the threat. He never responded kindly to threats but he understood what the man was saying, even if he didn't like the way it was said.
"Do we have an understanding?"
Harry nodded stiffly.
"Good, now Zoe will show you to your bunk. You can roam around the ship but the cargo bay, the engine room and the bridge are out of bounds get it?"
Harry nodded again.
"Have a good night then," said the captain, his eyes glittering.
"Come on," Zoe said shortly and beckoned him to follow her. She led him past the infirmary to the guest quarters.
"This is your new room," she said. "Simon's room is next to yours and River's is right in front so if you need something you can ask them for help."
"Thanks," Harry muttered.
"Do you need anything else for now?"
Harry looked around the small room. One bed, a tiny bathroom, a cupboard and a mirror was all the room had, but it was enough. "I don't have any clothes."
"Well too bad," Zoe said unsympathetically, "You're going to have to earn your lodgings else you'll be stranded on the next planet without a hint of remorse."
"Right," Harry said quietly and then said thanks and shut the door in her face. He was tired of all the hostility when he had done nothing to harm them!
He let out a sigh of frustration and collapsed on his bed. The reality of the situation was finally hitting him and it was becoming increasingly overwhelming. His breath was coming in short gasps and tears started to form in his eyes.
"What did I ever do to deserve this?" he cried softly. He had lost his friends, every person he had ever cared about and now he was apparently some 500-odd years in the future and not even on his own planet!
He had failed, he thought miserably. Dumbledore had had so much faith in him and he let everyone down. It was his entire fault.
"I should have listened to Ron," he said angrily. "But no, I thought to say that..." Harry couldn't bring himself to say the dark lord's name. "To say his name was to be brave," he said in grief. "What a foolish notion!"
He didn't know for how long he let his sobs wrack his body. The guilt in his heart was just too much to bear and he let it all out until there was nothing but emptiness left inside of him. He tried to sleep but sleep wouldn't come so he quietly left his room and headed to the bridge. He knew the captain had said it was out of bounds but at the moment he couldn't care less.
As he passed but the doctor and his sister's room he heard River moaning and saying things in her sleep. Nightmare, he thought dully and wondered what had happened to the girl.
He tiptoed all the way to the bridge and gasped when he saw what was outside. It was nothing. It was black, pitch black and he could make out a few dozen stars glowing ominously in the distance. It was like floating in the night sky but the only difference was that it was a vacuum outside, there was no gravity, no air, nothing. The stars weren't twinkling like they did from the ground and Harry suddenly felt insignificant when compared to the universe.
He didn't realize that he had tripped a silent alarm Mal had put in place when he entered the bridge.
"What are you doing here?" asked the soft voice of Inara.
Harry nearly jumped out of his skin. "Err... I was... I was, I just wanted to look outside," he stammered. "The room was making me very claustrophobic."
Inara noticed his dishevelled appearance and tear-stained face. She sat on the cold steel floor and beckoned him to join her.
"Are you alright?" she asked gently.
"I, I don't know," he said helplessly. "I just don't know." He felt like it was alright to open up to this woman. Everything about her made him want to talk to her. Everything from her posture to her eyes was telling him that it was alright and she meant him no harm.
He sat next to her wrapping his arms around his knees.
"It's beautiful isn't it," she said gesturing outside. "Looking into the black always has a calming effect on me."
"It's endless," Harry muttered. "Hollow and empty."
Inara laughed. "Yes, well everyone has their own perspective about the black. Some find it terrifying because of the dangers it holds, some find it gives them a sense of peace and tranquillity and some feel it's brimming to the top with adventure. Everyone has their own outlook about it."
Harry shrugged and continued to stare outside.
"What happened to you Harry?" she asked him with concern. "You look like you're in so much pain."
"It's nothing," Harry mumbled.
Inara grazed her fingers on his cheek and Harry felt like a warm soul was melting him down. "Talking helps you know. Don't be afraid, Harry. I'm only here to help you."
She shifted behind him and began to massage his shoulders. Harry felt so relaxed under her ministrations.
"Do you know what it feels like to lose everything you ever held dear to you and wake up in a completely strange place the next moment?" he said after a while.
"No, I don't," she said quietly.
"It hurts so much," Harry whispered. "It hurts so much that I just want it all to end!" Inara felt her heart squeeze at the amount of pain the boy was radiating.
"Don't think like that," she said. "Pain is a part of life and it is always through pain that you grow and learn to appreciate the things in life you would otherwise just ignore. Sometimes the pain is so great that you can't see anything beyond it but there is a whole world beyond it. There is hope and there is life. Don't let your pain define who you are or who you should become. Remember… you're still alive."
Harry closed his eyes feeling miserable and leaned into the companion's arms, sinking into the warmth of her presence. She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered words of comfort to him and it wasn't long before he fell asleep in her arms.
She carefully shifted his head and placed it on the floor and quietly got up and went out.
"I take it you heard everything?"
"Of course," Mal said.
"And?" she asked. Mal had come to her when the alarm went off and had asked her to use her skills as a companion to get the boy to talk.
"He's not a danger to us yet," he said. "His past seems to be a violent one and we don't know if it has anything to do with the Alliance. Plus it's really weird that he knows nothing about the verse. You can tell by the way he talks that he's not from around these parts."
"He did know about Beaumonde," Inara reminded.
"And that's weird. Maybe he's from a really remote part of the verse which has been cut off for a long time."
"Why didn't you confront him then and there?" she asked.
"He's not going to tell us the truth yet. We'll have to wait and keep observing him." Mal sighed. "I'll take him to his room. You go and get some sleep," he said.
Inara nodded and glanced back at the boy who was now sleeping peacefully, looking like the picture of innocence.
"Though this is the first time I have a sense of appreciation for your whoring skills," he said smirking. "You'd make such a good interrogator."
"Good night Mal," Inara said icily and turned her back on him. She wasn't in the mood for another fight.
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It was disorienting for Harry to wake up and find out that it still was dark outside. Of course, then he remembered the circumstances behind the darkness and how he came to be there but it was still odd.
He also felt a little ashamed about his breakdown last night and wanted to apologize to Inara the first chance he got. He got out of bed and was surprised to find a shirt and trousers neatly folded and placed on the floor.
They're not as bad as they'd like to be, he thought smiling.
He stripped out of his old clothes and stepped into the shower and let the warm water hit his body. It felt unbelievable to take a bath after a week of madness although ironically it was almost five hundred years since he last took a shower.
Memories kept flowing through his mind like the water flowing on his skin. He remembered the day of his capture, how the Death Eaters had reacted when they realized who they had caught. He remembered feeling anguish when they took his wand and threatened to break it; he remembered the fun he had while training with Kingsley and Moody; he remembered Dumbledore's kind face reviving him after a bad occlumency session… the memories kept coming and his tears were mixed with the water from the shower head. He wondered if the magical community still existed and what could have happened to them. According to the dark lord, he was immortal as long as Harry was alive and added to that he still had his Horcruxes. So was 'you know who' still around in this future?
The thought made shivers run down his spine. He needed to find out more about the history of the human race and more, in particular, about Earth and what had happened after his sealing. Voldemort had planned to destroy the muggles but obviously, he wasn't successful seeing as the muggles had occupied a whole new solar system.
After the shower, he changed into his new clothes which were a tad big for him and headed out to the kitchen.
"Morning chum," Wash said cheerfully. Zoe, River, Simon, Book and Jayne were there too.
"Hi," Harry said. "Whose clothes are these?"
"Those would be mine," Wash said giving Harry a mock bow.
"Thank you."
"No problem, it's the least I could do for my creation," He then frowned and looked at the preacher. "Does this make me god Shepherd?"
"No, it does not," Book replied. "But it does make you a delusional god if you want."
Wash nodded thoughtfully, "Hmmm... well as long as there's god in there."
Zoe snorted and shook her head ruefully at her husband's antics. "There's food on the counter if you want some," she said to Harry.
Harry nodded his thanks.
"What is this stuff anyway?" he asked. It tasted very weird.
"Basic necessities," Simon answered. "Protein, vitamins, carbs."
"Huh, you don't have any normal food? Like eggs, bread, bacon?" He stopped talking when he saw everybody staring at him incredulously.
"Fresh food ain't cheap boy and it's a rare commodity too," Jayne said staring down at Harry. The big man was busy cleaning his weapons and he gave Harry a nasty grin and patted his gun.
Harry regretted opening his mouth. He didn't know anything about this new world that he was in and it was better to observe rather than talk.
"Oh, right," he mumbled.
"But we do get some nice fruits once in a while after a successful job," Book said for Harry's benefit.
He spent the rest of the time quietly forcing the food down his throat and every now and then glancing at River who, for a long time now, had been staring intently at the roof. Her mouth was half-open and her eyes wide.
"What's up with your sister?" Harry asked Simon quietly.
"Nothing," said the doctor uncomfortably. "She tends to get a little spaced out now and then."
River slowly shifted her attention to Simon and Harry. "Are you alright, River?" Simon asked, concerned.
She then locked eyes with Harry and for a moment Harry wondered what was going through the girl's mind when he felt it, the pressure of someone trying to pierce his occlumency shields.
It was unlike anything he had ever felt. Usually, a legilimens would focus his attack on a part of the victim's shields but what Harry was feeling was completely different. It was like there were needles trying to sink into every inch of his shield and the force behind it kept increasing at a steady pace.
"Stop," Harry commanded mentally, gathering his magic to strengthen his shields.
But River just continued staring into Harry's eyes, her expression changing from blank to confusion and then to anger.
"How?" she whispered. "How are you doing this?"
And then with a mighty heave, Harry managed to eject her from his mind and her head snapped back in pain. She cried out and stumbled back and the rest of the crew stared at her, bewildered. They didn't know what had just happened but they all tensed when they saw her and Harry's expressions.
Fury was etched all over his face which was reciprocated on River's face too.
"River, Harry?" Simon called out warily, wondering what was going on between the two. The rest of the room had gotten to their feet too, sensing trouble brewing.
"Gun jun duh hwoon dahn," River screamed and then her foot lashed out towards Harry's chest.
Two years of fighting and training with Kingsley in the art of hand-to-hand combat had honed Harry's instincts and he instantly crossed his arms in front of him and blocked the kick.
It was shockingly strong.
"River!" Simon shouted in shock.
But she didn't listen. She retracted her leg and pivoted on her left foot and aimed for his head this time and Harry caught her ankle just in time and shoved her away.
River stumbled back and she stared at him murderously.
"Settle down gorramit!" Jayne yelled and grabbed River while Simon and Book took a hold of Harry's arms and dragged him back. Zoe took position between the two kids with her hand resting on her shotgun.
"Let me go!" River screamed squirming and struggling to get free from Jayne.
"Doc, get your sister under control!"
Simon hurried over to River and whispered calming words into her ear and gently took her out of Jayne's grip. Jayne was ready to catch hold of her again if she went all crazy once more.
"Leave me alone!" River yelled at Simon suddenly looking very upset and ran out of the room at ran into Mal who was just coming in.
"Wha-?"
"Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-Ro," she spat at the captain and sped away.
Mal blinked twice.
"I thought you said she was a prodigy doc," Mal said.
Simon just sighed exasperatedly and hurried after his sister.
"Do I want to know what happened here?"
"The gorram girl went psycho is what happened Mal," Jayne said. "She attacked the kid without provocation!"
"I'm not a kid!"
Everyone ignored Harry.
"Wait, River attacked Harry?" Mal asked frowning.
"That's right captain," Zoe said. "One minute she's all River like and the next she's out for the kid's blood."
Mal laughed. "River like, that's funny."
Zoe glared at the captain while Wash snorted.
"Anyway," he said hastily, "Are you hurt?" he asked Harry.
"No, not really," Harry replied. His eyes were far away as his mind furiously contemplated the possibility of River being a witch. Her mental intrusion was nothing like legilimency so what was it? Why was she so distressed when she couldn't read his mind? The questions raged but there were no satisfactory answers. It was obvious that the crew of this ship were all muggles so there was no asking them for answers and he didn't want to tell them what he was either.
"Good. We'll let the doctor take care of River and you best stay out of River's way. For some reason, she doesn't seem to like you and it's not a good idea to upset her. I don't think my ears can take any more of her screaming."
Harry nodded absently.
"Are you alright son?" the Shepherd asked. "You look a little out of it."
Harry smiled. Around him, Mal was still talking to Jayne. Kaylee and Inara had just come up and Wash was telling them about the altercation between Harry and River.
"What's the deal with River?" he asked the Preacher.
Book sighed. "That girl has suffered a lot at the hands of the Alliance," he said grimly.
Harry leaned forward in interest.
"She is a very gifted child according to her brother, a prodigy you could say," he said. "Anything she does, mathematics, physics, dancing, anything at all and she can master it in no time. When she was fourteen, she was invited to a government-run school called the Academy which promised to be a challenge for her mind. Only it turned out to be a research facility and River was their toy."
Harry's eyes widened in shock and horror.
"For three years they treated her brain like their playground until her brother managed to infiltrate the place and rescue her from that hell."
"So that's why she's the way she is?" he asked quietly.
Book nodded. "She's very intuitive," he said. "And quite morbid sometimes," he added chuckling. "But otherwise she's quite harmless. I honestly don't know what could have provoked her to lash out at you."
"Yeah," Harry muttered. "I wonder what it was."
"What about you son?" asked the Shepherd.
"What do you mean?"
"Where are you from actually?"
Harry had a faraway look in his eyes and he didn't reply.
"I am a priest, Harry. If you ever want to talk about it you should know that I am here and whatever we talk about will always be in confidence," he said seriously.
Harry felt touched by the gesture and for a moment he wanted to tell the man everything. About what he was, about who he was and about the hell he was in for the past twenty-four hours, well technically it was more than 500 years but for him, it had just been a day.
"No thanks Shepherd," he said in the end. "But if I ever feel the need I shall take you up on that offer."
Book smiled and patted him on the back. "War is terrible, son," he whispered knowingly and Harry jerked in shock.
How could the man have known?
"It's the way you hold yourself," he explained. "The captain recognized that stance and the haunted look in your eyes was probably the clincher. That's why he has been so lenient on you."
Harry snorted. "So this is what life is like out here? Living on the edge and being suspicious about everything and everyone?"
"Living on the outer rim is dangerous," Book replied solemnly. "One wrong move could cost you your life. It's only the central planets where life seems easy, but those are the Alliance controlled planets and if you don't want to be under their control you live out here."
"And what's wrong with the Alliance?" But then he remembered River and took back his words.
Book realized what Harry was thinking and spoke up. "What they did to River is terrible but the Alliance is more than that. You should learn more about them before you pass judgment," he said.
Harry hummed. He needed to know more about this new world. "Do you have a history book or something?" he asked. "I'd like to brush up my knowledge about the past."
Book raised his eyebrows. Everything about the boy was an oddity, he thought. The way he spoke, the way he acted, the lack of knowledge about the verse, it was just too peculiar but Book held his tongue and kept his thoughts to himself. "The doctor has an encyclopaedia databook he bought on Persephone. You could ask him."
Harry thanked him and headed to the infirmary. Maybe he could get some answers now.
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