January 3rd, 2011. Hogwart, Scotland, 8:00 PM BST

The return to school was a whirlwind of activity. Seras had a last minute sorting before the feast in Dumbledore's office, and was placed in Hufflepuff with Suzie. Daphne tried to make fun of her for it and Suzie got upset so she took it back, and then we all hit the feast, where I power shoveled food down my gullet before slipping away to meet the twins.

I'd gotten a note slipped into my robes from them asking to talk, so I assumed they had an update on cloak guy. I was more determined than ever to find him, given all the crazy bullshit that had been going on.

"Evening boys." I said as I strode into the room. "Hope you had a good holiday. I trust my money was put to good use?"

The both of them were lounging on different desks, and when I came in, they nodded tiredly. "Right you are, old boy." Said George cheerfully. "We got loads of research done. We've also been doing our best to pin down your mysterious figure. Sadly we haven't had much luck with it. We can't seem to get a lock on who it is."

Fred grimaced. "We have a list, at least. A few suspicious bastards sneaking around the third corridor. Unfortunately that place has been busier than King's Cross. For a forbidden corridor it gets plenty of traffic."

"Alright. Who do we have?" I said, walking over to sit down across from George. Having a list would help me keep an eye out at least.

The redhead reached into his robes and withdrew a strip of parchment. "A couple people. Some of the upper years, several of the teachers. One or two of the secret societies have been skulking around. The Red Barons, the Gryffindor secret society, has a few old friends among its members, but even they won't tell us what the hell is in there that they want so bad."

I was pretty sure I knew. With all the talk about Flamel's stone and the attempted theft, not to mention Potter's search for info, plus cloak guy being here and the various factions aiming for that room, it was obvious what was in there. The philosophers stone was at Hogwarts. And I WANTED it.

It might seem like a hat on a hat for me, given my ten thousand year time limit as a devil, but that was just it. The stone let you essentially stop aging. As long as I had it I wouldn't be burning through my ten millennia. And if I ever lost it…well, I'd have tons of time in the bank.

Not to mention I only had fifteen evil pieces, and there were bound to be people like my mom in my life who didn't want to be devils for whatever reason.

With the stone and the elixir I could keep them with me as long as I wanted, and if anyone found out, it would be a perfect excuse for the whole not aging thing too. It was utility and cover all in one. If the stone was really here, I needed to find a way to be the one to get it, not whatever half assed wannabe wizard mob or mysterious edgelord was trying.

But that brought me to the obvious problem. I needed to know what was past that cerberus. The dog had obviously not been enough of a threat to deter cloak guy. There was probably other shit in the trapped door. And it would be stupid to just assume I could counter them. Luckily, I had my own little think tank.

So, two problems. Cloak guy and the stone. Since cloak guy was AFTER the stone, I could probably find a way to make that one problem if I tried. I glanced down at the list. One of these things was not like the other.s One of these things did not belong. I just didn't know WHICH. I folded up the paper and slipped it into my robes.

"Well, this narrows it down." I squinted at them. "How have you guys even been keeping track of this? I thought your wards couldn't tell you who was tripping them?" This was a comprehensive list.

The question seemed to make them uncomfortable. "We never said that." Snapped Fred. "We said the arsehole rewired them and slipped past. Our wards can detect people just fine. That's how we made the list." Which…was a lie. I could, if I focused, hear a rapid pounding from them both. This was touching on some secret of theirs. A secret I…didn't care about.

"Sure man, whatever." I said with a shrug. "You did good either way. Try to keep an eye out for any sightings or odd shit, but otherwise you can try to focus your surveillance on these people."

George nodded. "Right. Sounds good. We'll do that." His face twisted into a grin. "By the way, don't suppose you care if we have some…fun, with your cousin? His daddy's gone missing and he's easy pickings now."

"Gone missing." Scoffed Fred. "Death eater scum is probably off torturing some muggles for kicks and forgot to floo."

I shrugged, putting on an unconcerned face. "Draco is a literal dumpster person. Don't kill or maim him permanently and I'm good to ignore it." I honestly didn't care too much about those two things either, but I figured Andi might be upset if her sister's only son got murdered.

They both nodded, wishing me a happy new year before slipping out of the classroom we were meeting in. Heading back to the feast, I was able to catch my friends all still eating.

Daphne, Seras, and Suzie all looked up at me quizzically as I sat down. "Finish up your food." I said, stealing a stalk of asparagus off Daphne's plate. "We have a lot to talk about. I just figured out something big, and I need some help making a plan."

I led everyone BACK to the empty classroom, and when they were inside, I laid out the whole thing for them. I showed them the list, told them my suspicions about the stone, and finally outlined my desire to steal it. "Basically, I think someone is going to get that thing, and it should definitely be us." I said in conclusion.

Blaise looked thoughtful. "Not a bad idea. It would be pretty cool to never get any older." He winked at Tracey. "Why mess with perfection, right?"

The brunette rolled her eyes. "I hate to agree with Merlin's gift to women over there." She said sarcastically. "But that does sound like a nice perk. I can only assume that the actual protections are going to be intense though. How do we get past them?"

"Together." I said firmly. The real answer, of course, was devil bullshit. Between Seras and I we had a ton of brawn and the brain trust we had assembled for various kinds of magic wasn't exactly unimpressive. Granted, most of them were only a year or two ahead in their chosen field, but it would give us a place to start at least.

Unlike a live fight with dangerous wizards (which I admittedly needed to work on) these obstacles were most likely stationary and probably unintelligent. I somehow doubted one of the professors was going to sit in a room under the school all day waiting for people to try to challenge them. That sounded fucking stupid.

Suzie cleared her throat. "Um…I'm not sure about this." She said worriedly. "Stealing isn't ok, and from what you said Flamel doesn't have another stone. Aren't he and his wife really old? If we take away their source of elixir they'll start aging again. They would die."

I didn't care overly much, but I knew she wouldn't take that as an answer. "Someone is coming for the stone." I told her gently. "We don't know who, but chances are good they're a huge asshole, given the whole throwing death curses at random students thing. We can make more of the elixir and send it to them if you want, not to mention I'm sure they have a stockpile just in case. We need to worry about what could happen if someone else gets it first though."

To my surprise, Hannah spoke up. "Ryan is right. I know it's not a perfect solution, but an immortal dark wizard would be…bad. How are the secret societies managing to try to get close though? They should be about our age, and there can't be THAT many of them."

Theo answered that. "Sorcerers." He said uncertainly. "I think. I'd never heard of them, and dad was never the type to share that kind of stuff, but I think that's it. I remember Lockwood mentioning something to one of his lads during a meeting when he thought I couldn't hear. Something about an elemental. I thought he meant like a construct, but based on what you said…"

"That makes entirely too much sense." I cursed. "Of course the generational secret cult would have access to sorcery. They probably wouldn't even have trouble sneaking them in. Witches and Wizards are a subtype of Sorcerer, so the wards probably wouldn't even notice. Assuming they even keep out non Wizards. I still don't know what they do."

Although…I wondered if my particular type of magic could emulate Sorcerers like it did Wizards. It should be able to, and that was something to think about. Sorcerer magic was much more limited but also seemingly more powerful, plus being more limited wasn't exactly a problem. It meant there was less to learn.

Daphne burst our bubble. "As interesting as this all is, you're all ignoring the obvious. All these groups are trying to get into the forbidden corridor, which means everyone is going to be swarming it. Forget passing the obstacles, we need to figure out what they ARE first, and we have to get past the rest of the school to do it."

We all went silent. That was a good point. I'd already decided we needed to map out the challenges. We weren't master Wizards or anything. Each of us had a toe in the pool but these things would be out of our depth most likely. Luckily we had access to an absolutely massive library to supplement our research.

But to do that, we needed to get into the corridor unnoticed and spend time down there, presumably studying whatever other defenses were down there. Which was going to be noticed…unless everyone was distracted.

"So." I said slowly. "You're saying we need a schoolwide event that almost every teacher and student will be at. Something incredibly captivating and preferably dramatic enough that no one will notice us all missing?"

I glanced at Theo, Tracey, and Blaise, the four of us sharing a look with an exaggerated grin. "Quidditch." We all said at once.

Daphne groaned. "Right. I should have expected that. But even if we do use the the quidditch game as a cover, all of us going missing would be far too noticeable. One or two of us need to go down and check things out, gather as much information as possible and then bring it back to the others to look into."

That actually worked better for me. I was a bit worried about the others seeing my devil abilities, at least this early. I was considering reincarnating them when I did the girls over the summer. Give them time to work on their abilities before next year. But I'd wait to see how they held up on this mission. Like one final test.

"Seras and I will go." I said finally. "She's my retainer and I know her abilities. It should be easy enough for us to pull off. Plus just the two of us being missing won't raise too many red flags." Especially given what most people did with pretty retainers, though I wasn't stupid enough to say that. Everyone else agreed (grudgingly in some cases) and we officially had a plan. Now all that was left to do was wait.

January 22nd, 2011. Hogwart, Scotland, 11:00 AM BST

Despite our excitement to get started…we couldn't. Using the Quidditch match as cover was a great plan, especially since we weren't even playing but sadly, we had to wait weeks for it. In the meantime, we helped Seras get used to Hogwarts, gave her more training using her wand in our respective disciplines, and just generally kept a weather eye on everything.

Finally, it was the day of the first match. Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff, and all the Slytherins were going because Snape was the one refereeing. He didn't make it MANDATORY, per se, but he'd heavily implied it would be smart to show up.

I didn't particularly care. He never messed with me anyway, so while everyone else was filing out to the stadium, Seras and I slipped away, heading for the third floor.

"Alright." I said as we arrived at the door. "First thing's first. This place is dangerous, even without cloak wearing dicks hurling death curses. There's a giant three headed dog in there, so we need to be careful. Granted, it mostly left me alone out of fear last time, so maybe it won't bother us, but it's best not to count on good luck."

My Rook gave a slow, solemn nod, and the two of us opened the door, slipping inside. In the corridor, I saw the familiar sights of the bare stone walls and floors, and at the far end, a giant sleepy puppy snoring away.

"He's so bloody CUTE!" Seras hissed in a frantic whisper. "I love him. Can we keep him? I promise I'll feed him and take him on walks!"

I rolled my eyes. "You wouldn't do either of those things. And no. He's security, if we took him everyone would know we were here, and then they would find us, probably by tracking the GIANT THREE HEADED DOG WE STOLE!" I snapped.

She sniffed in feigned hurt. "Well you don't have to be an arse about it. What do we do then? Just bully him off the thing?"

I shrugged, walking forward until I came within about twenty feet. "Hey there pup." I said conversationally. "Remember me? We need to get by you real quick. No big thing, just do me a favor and move a little to the left."

The dog opened one eye, looking, right at me, paused for a second, and then produced a loud, dramatic snore. Seras about busted up laughing as the big ox pretended badly to still be asleep.

"Don't be an asshole." I snapped at the big sleepy puppy." I pointed across the room. "Go lay down over there." The furry lug groaned in annoyance as he hauled himself to his feet, slinking across the room to lay down in an empty corner. Reaching down, I pulled the door in the floor open and peered inside.

Seras peered in after me. "Bloody hell, I can see everything down there perfectly. I never noticed my eyes work in the dark now."

"You're a vampire, honestly your eyes might be better than mine at night." I said with a shrug. "The question is what exactly IS that. It's huge and green and super creepy, but I don't think that description is going to help us decipher whatever it's supposed to do. You should fly down there and see what it tries." She glared at me and I shrugged. "You're a Rook, you're made to take abuse."

She pointed down into the pit. "And that thing looks like it'll abuse me plenty. I'm not going down into the dark to be violated by some tentacle monstrosity. I've seen videos about where things like that stick tentacles, and I refuse to experience that firsthand."

I snickered at her. "First of all, nice to know what you watch in your free time. Second of all, I'm not going to let you get hentai'd right in front of me." Not by a plant. It did give me some very interesting ideas for if I managed to learn that shadow control thing Val could do if she was into that, but I forced that mental image away, because it wasn't the time.

"Sure." She snorted. "I fall into a pile of tentacles and 'whoops, sorry Seras, took me a minute to find you, don't worry about that tentacle buggering you, I'll have you out in a tick'. Even vampire speed isn't enough to avoid all those."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You can FLY." I said in exasperation. "And seriously, this is a college, I doubt they put a sex monster in the dungeon. It'll probably just choke you to death or something, and that wouldn't even work on you. But fine, if my Rook is going to be a big baby, I, your KING, will go down there myself to scope it out."

Stepping over the edge, I dropped about five feet…and stopped, with my wings. Like a proper devil. I drifted down a bit closer in the dark. The tentacles started rustling, shifting about beneath me, and I braced myself to dodge if the monster did try to snatch me up. It didn't. It was slow and didn't even try to reach up, just waiting.

"It's fine." I said, looking up at my blonde Rook. "We're good. We can just skip this one I think. It's really slow and doesn't take up much of the floor. I think the big trap was not seeing it coming, and since we see perfectly in the dark we should be fine."

She frowned at me as she slowly glided down, following me past it to land on the stone floor. "This one?" She asked unhappily. I pointed at the door behind her, and she turned to grimace at the exit. "What are the chances the stone is behind that door?" She sighed in annoyance, and I couldn't fault her.

Despite knowing there would probably be more defenses, we'd been hoping for like a big chamber with shields or something we could make copies of and then study and break. Not this 'run the gauntlet' bullshit. We'd easily avoided the plant, but who knew what would be in the next room.

As if reading my mind, when I reached for the next room, Seras grabbed my wrist. "No!" She said quickly. "I…I'll do this one. You're my…" She blushed hard. "King. It's my job." Apparently not being first through the door with the plant had made her feel guilty. I didn't really think of her as a servant or anything, so I wasn't mad about it, but she was cute when she was embarrassed.

"Lay on, Macduff." I said, gesturing towards the door. She grinned, turning to open the door boldly and step through…and the only thing that saved her was my reflexes. I caught a flash of light on metal and grabbed her robes, yanking her back and slamming the door as…something, attacked.

Whatever it was, it was fucking FAST. Like…me fast. A white blur that I had to recheck my memory to see clearly. Thinking back, it was a man. Clad in all white, with a shining metal helmet on his head, face completely obscured, and holding a wickedly sharp scythe.

I knew it was wickedly sharp because as it had whooshed past Seras's neck it had sheared right through the fucking STONE of the doorway, leaving a trail of sparks. I braced myself for an attack, but nothing came through. The door remained shut and unmoving. Seras was panting, staring in shock at the gash in the stone beside the door where the attack had hit.

"What the fuck was THAT?" She said in terror. "I could barely see it. We're supposed to be fast right? How did it move so quick?"

"No idea." I said as I pushed her back from the door. "But we need more info. I'm going to open the door again. It isn't coming out, but if it tries I want you to slam the door as hard as you can, ok?" I gestured for her to get behind the door, taking up a position in front of it. I was fast. Really fast. Not KNIGHT fast, but I could move. I took a deep breath, then opened the door slowly and waited.

And waited. And kept waiting. I peered through the door to see a figure standing stock still in the middle of the room. Like I'd remembered. White clothes, metal helmet, sharp ass scythe. It remained motionless, and I could feel its eyes on me, but it didn't attack. I was pretty sure it wouldn't unless I went through the door. From behind the door, Seras muttered. "What's it doing?"

"Standing still." I said with a frown. "Really still. Like…too still." It was creeping me out and I didn't know why. Then it clicked. "It's not breathing. Or shifting its weight. Its heart isn't beating. I think its dead." But we damned sure hadn't killed it. Which meant it had been dead the whole time. Some kind of zombie?

"Camera." I said, holding out my hand. Seras dug around her back, pulling out a big chonker of a camera. I'd borrowed it from George for just this purpose (well, rented, but I only paid him one galleon so it was basically a loaner). I lined it up and snapped a picture. I was honestly a bit bummed. First time using a magic camera that could capture moving images and the damned thing wasn't even twitching. Then I turned and snapped one of the plant for good measure.

With that done, I handed it back to her. We'd brought it in case we needed to study anything we found. I stared at the monster, memorizing every detail, putting my enhanced devilish senses to work. No movement, as I'd seen before, the clothes were just clothes. But that scythe…it seemed off somehow. I recognized the way it cut. Something about the hum as it split the air.

It took me a second to place it, but I finally did. Tanith. The scythe was like Tanith's sword. It had been altered, or made the same way. Which wasn't much, but it WAS a lead. Sighing, I reached up and shut the door.

Putting an arm around Seras I spread my wings, drifting us up over the plant and through the open trapped door, slamming it shut. I kept my ears peeled, eyes scanning the place for any sign of invisible assholes, but I got nothing. I looked over at the dog. "Alright boy, you can have your spot back. Be good."

He grumbled, either much smarter than expected or just generally in a bad mood, and dragged himself back over to lay down.

Slipping out, I brought Seras with me away from the corridor, heading out into the grounds and out of the castle, where it would be less suspicious to see us walking. "Alright, so…that was fucking nuts." I said grimly. "No wonder no one has gotten in yet. We need to figure out a way to get past that thing, hell we need to figure out what it is."

Luckily, I knew exactly who to ask. It was dead and used a weird scythe that reminded me of Tanith's sword. I happened to know a pretty necromancer who could help us on both counts. Seras looked disturbed, but nodded. "Right. So we report this to the others?"

I grinned at her, offering my arm. "Nah. The game will be going for hours yet. I figure we take a quick trip to Dublin to chat with a friend. She'll know what's going on. So what do you say Seras? You interested in a day trip?"

She grinned. "Too right I am. I've been craving real food for weeks. If I don't eat something processed and sugary I might rip someone's head off."

As the red circle consumed us, I snickered at that. I felt her pain there. I could use something good to eat too. Maybe we would stop for lunch. First though, we had to check in with Val about this zombie thing. And that was just the third obstacle. I really hoped there weren't too many of these fucking things.

January 22nd, 2011 Grimwood House, North County Dublin, Ireland, 12:00 PM BST

"That really is so convenient." Seras commented as we stepped through the demonic circle and into the swamp around Val's manor. "When am I going to learn to do that? It's a devil thing right?"

I chuckled. "Talk to Vincent. He helped me learn. You've got way less native magic than I do so it might be tougher."

Walking the familiar path Tanith had taken us down, I arrived at Val's door, knocking briskly on the dark wood. There was a long pause before the door swung open, revealing an exhausted looking Val in big thick flannel pajamas. Her eyes were ringed in dark circles that looked almost like bruises, and her normally pale skin was waxy and grey.

It took her a second to process, but after a moment her eyebrows went up. "Ryan?" She said fuzzily. "What are you doing here?"

"We had some problems at the school that I thought you might be able to help with." I hesitated. "I can come back later if you're sick or something. No offense but you look terrible. Do you have the plague or something?"

Giving me an annoyed sneer, she rolled her eyes. "You sweet talker. No, I'm not sick. Just tired. I haven't…haven't been sleeping well. Don't worry about it. You came all this way so come in. Skulduggery is in the library as usual. Whatever you need if I can't help you maybe he can. Lucky bastard doesn't have to sleep at all."

Her irish brogue got thicker as she got more irritated, and I didn't see a need to argue, nodding and following her inside, Seras at my heels. "Thanks. We ran into something I kind of recognized. Some thing using a scythe that reminded me of Tanith's sword."

She stopped, whirling to look at me. "Was it dressed all in white with a shiny metal helmet that covers its face?"

I flinched back, a bit shocked by the intensity. "Yeah, how did you know."

Cursing, she spun on her heel and stalked down the hall, throwing open the door to the library with a snarl. Skulduggery was sitting in the dark in a chair, making no noise and not moving at all, and she jumped when she noticed him. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph." She snapped. "I've told you how creepy that is, right?"

He shrugged. "You may have mentioned something. I find it soothing. We'll have to agree to disagree."

"No we won't!" She said in outrage. "It's my house! Don't lurk in the dark in silence in my library!"

"Did you invite those two over to talk about this?" He said in a mildly interested tone. "Is this an intervention? Because that sounds like great fun. I'm skeptical they have any moving stories about how my lurking in the dark negatively affects their lives. Unless you count this one. Are you all going to tell this story? That seems a tad redundant."

I had to suppress a snicker at that, but she didn't seem to be in the mood. "It's not an intervention. It's an emergency. Ryan and Seras just met the White Cleaver."

"What?" he said sharply. "Where? I thought the Necromancer Temple still had it. Aren't you back at that school of yours? What in blazes would it be doing there? Are you sure it was the White Cleaver?"

I shrugged. "Is it a creepy dead thing with no heartbeat that dresses all in white with a shiny metal helmet and a scythe made of the same stuff as Tanith's sword? Because if so yeah, I just made it's acquaintance. Think you can fill a guy in on what a cleaver is? Color notwithstanding? And why the hell is it so FAST?"

Val growled in annoyance. "Because of Serpine. The Cleavers are the police of the Sanctuaries. Think of them like special ops agents. They're usually normal humans, no magic at all, just lots of enchanted armor and woven razor scythes that can cut spells. That one is different though. He got caught in a trap a few years ago, and Nefarion Serpine, Skulduggery's worst enemy, experimented on him with necromancy."

"I thought necromancy was just shadow manipulation for you guys?" I said in confusion. "Like you used it in front of me."

She shook her head. "Some of it. But they also work with corpses, using magical reagents and processes to alter and reinforce them. There are some really strange and fringe techniques in necromancy, and Serpine knew all of them. The White Cleaver was made stronger, faster, and damn near unkillable. Combined with normal Cleaver gear, and you get…"

"A problem." I said with a grimace. "So how the hell do I stop it? It's in the way of something I need." I didn't mention the stone. They didn't need to know that bit.

Val shrugged. "Well the person pulling it's strings can call it off. The White Cleaver doesn't really have a mind anymore. It's a puppet. It just does what its told. Other than that…either overwhelm it with brute force or use necromancy to disable it. It won't stick, but it'll stop it temporarily."

Brute force was out. That thing was way too fast for me to take on, and certainly too quick for Seras. Maybe if I had a Knight on the board I could pin it down, but I wasn't burning a piece for a single encounter. I had ideas about my Knights but I was taking my time. Which meant the second option was really the only one.

"Necromancy huh?" I said cautiously. "And would you be interested in maybe…teaching me some? Because I think I can learn it, for reasons that I'm sure you're aware of."

Skulduggery nodded wisely. "Ah, because you're a devil you mean."

I glared at Val, who grinned back sheepishly. "Oh, you know about that?" I said sarcastically. "I wasn't aware we were spreading it around. Maybe I should take out an ad in the Times. Have a skywrited put it up over the city? Hey do you guys have blimps here?"

"I'm sorry." She said almost meekly. "I won't tell anyone, I meant it when I said that. Skulduggery just isn't…he isn't anyone." She paused and pointed at the skeleton detective. "Shut up, you. But yeah, I'm sorry Ryan. I swear I won't tell anyone else. Skulduggery is my mentor and I tell him everything, but he won't mention it to anyone either."

I glared for a second but…honestly I'd kind of expected her to tell him. I was mostly just annoyed at Alucard for blowing up my spot like that. Plus I needed her help. "Fine, but you're teaching me necromancy as an apology."

She sighed in relief. "Of course. Happy to. When do you want to start. Although I have to warn you, I'm still an amateur. I can teach you the basic shadow manipulation stuff, but if you want to make super zombie science experiments like Serpine, you'll need a proper teacher. I learned everything I know from a necromancer named Solomon Wreath."

I made a mental note, but if I needed necromancy lessons I'd go to Vincent. Honestly I felt stupid not having tried this before, remembering that he was a necromancer to begin with."

"Seras, you gonna be sitting in?" I asked my Rook. "I'm not sure how well this whole thing will mesh with your fighting style, but having more tools is bound to be a good thing. Always nice to learn a new trick."

To my surprise, she shook her head. "Learning magic is already a pain. More long range stuff sounds like overloading myself. I might talk to Tanith about learning some of the stuff she can do. I think it fits my niche. I have some CQC training from the academy, and I can fly, but being able to walk up walls couldn't hurt."

I just shrugged. "You want to hang here or head back. I can circle you there without going myself I think."

She waved me off. "If Val doesn't mind I'd love to check out the library. That is, if Mr. Bonejangles over there isn't secretly waiting to fry me for being in the same room as him. I remember Val said he isn't a vampire fan."

"No rational person likes vampires." Said Skulduggery primly. "But Valkyrie tells me that you're a decent sort, and you only drink from him anyway."

Seras nodded. "I've tried other blood, but it's mostly mud in comparison." Her face flushed and her eyes lost focus as she broke into a dreamy smile. "He tastes amazing." I cleared my throat and she shook off the trance, averting her eyes, which had started to turn purplish, which I assumed was the red glow through the blue contacts.

Skulduggery barked out a laugh. "Sounds like the little vampire thinks you're…what do the kids say these days? A snack?"

Val groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "What did I say about trying to be cool? Don't say things like that, it's so embarrassing." She shot me an apologetic look. "Last week he tried to use the word beast to describe a situation."

I winced. "Ouch. It's like dad jokes but a dozen times worse. Always remember what Dr. Evil said. There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster."

The pretty goth burst into a fit of giggles as the skeleton starting making offended noises, and Seras covered her mouth to keep from laughing as Val led me from the room. We headed down the hallway to an empty ballroom, and I raised an eyebrow. "Damn, this place is fancy."

Rolling her eyes, Val snorted. "I'm sorry, did you forget I went to your house for Christmas? You live in a giant arse manor. Grimwood House isn't exactly a shoe box, but it's also not much bigger than your place." I could tell from her smirk that she was just teasing, so I gave the comment the laugh it deserved.

"So." I said, clapping my hands and rubbing them together. "Let's talk about necromancy. I admit that those shadow manipulation tricks seem useful. I'll never have to walk over to pick up a drink or a plate of food again. You must be constantly excited about your powers."

She giggled at that. "I don't think I have as big a problem standing up to get things as you do. But I can definitely get you started.. Before I do though, there's one thing you'll have to decide on. Necromancy requires a vessel. You seal a portion of your power into an object that acts as a focus." She held up a hand. "Mine is my ring. It has all my shadow powers in it and I use necromancy through it. You'll have to pick yours."

Honestly I wasn't thrilled with that idea. I'd have preferred if it was just a point and shoot type deal, but I could understand the rules. Besides, I'd regen the portion of my demonic energy used, apparently unlike a normal sorcerer.

I considered what to use, thinking about something I always had on me and that would work as a good vessel… and came to the obvious conclusion. I slipped my wand from my robe, holding it up to look it over.

"Think this would work?" The pitch black of the ebony wood seemed to drink the light even without the dark magic imbued into it.

She reached out to touch it, but stopped at a warning glance. Touching a wizard's wand was a no go unless you were really close. She nodded her understanding, but studied it closely before finally nodded. "Yeah, that'll do. You sure you want to put your power into something so…fragile?"

My wand hummed in indignation, startling her a bit. "I'm sure." I said with a smile. "I'm curious how it'll affect its power. Plus I always have my wand on me and I make sure to keep it safe at all times. So, now that I've picked that, why don't you teach me how to actually DO necromancy." And with that, the lesson began.

January 22nd, 2011 Grimwood House, North County Dublin, Ireland, 2:00 PM BST

"No, don't do it like that. You look like an idiot." Said Val impatiently. "I told you, in order to use the shadows you have to imbue it into a vessel."

Gritting my teeth, I rubbed my temples. "Yes, Valkyrie. You did. But you didn't tell me HOW to do that. You keep giving me vague directions and expecting me to just magically know how to accomplish them. How do I put the magic into the wand?"

She shrugged. "You just shove it in. It'll fit, if it resists just jam it in there until it gives in."

"Someone needs to teach you what foreplay is." I said glibly. "Though you're going to make some clumsy teenager very happy until that day comes."

Snorting, she just rolled her eyes. "Please. Like a pretty boy like you would know what to do with a superstar like me." She sniffed and flicked her coal black hair over her shoulder. "But if you're really having trouble, let me see if I can put it in different words." She paused, biting her lip as she thought. "Got it. Putting the magic into the wand clearly isn't working, try putting it into the shadows, then putting the whole thing into the wand."

That sounded a bit more plausible. My main issue here was that I'd spent ages training my magic to work as wizardry, and it had gotten used to that. Necromancy actually seemed like a perfect solution because the focus would act as a battery I could just charge without having to retrain it.

My issue was making the damned battery to begin with. Closing my eyes, I pushed the power of my magic into my shadow, willing it to mix and combine. It failed. Then I did it again. And again. And again. It failed. Each time though, I could feel the magic mixing more deeply, feel it getting closer.

Finally, with a sort of buzz, I felt a surge of heat flood my body. My shadow got…darker, somehow. Closing my eyes I reached out for the magic, bringing the shadow with it, and PULLED.

Choking, I felt my whole body ripped forward, my soul feeling like it was stretching. I cried out, catching myself on my hands and knees. "Fuck!" I spat through gritted teeth. "What the fuck is THAT?"

Val dropped to her knees, earlier teasing forgotten as her tired face scrunched in worry. "Ryan! Are you ok? I don't know what's happening. It wasn't this hard for me. Maybe your magic is different. What's happening?"

I relaxed my grip, letting most of my shadow drain away, I eyeballed the amount, catching it again when there was just a bit, then I gripped it tight and TORE. I screamed, but I forced myself to keep going, shoving the shadows into my wand. The wood shifted in color, becoming darker, richer, like I was looking at a manifested stick made from the void. I gasped as I released the magic in my shadow, groaning as it flooded back into me, leaving me mostly fine except for a dull ache in the center of my chest.

"I'm fine." I gasped. "I had to rip out part of my power to make my focus. My power doesn't like that sort of thing. It's not made to be trapped. I had to switch my tactics."

What I'd done was grab the power that hadn't integrated yet. My gains from the contracts I'd made and catching the ghosts. It wasn't an absurd amount, probably about as much magic as a normal witch or wizard had in total, but it had worked. I'd earn it back, and now that I'd made the focus I could nurture it by pouring in pouring in power the normal way, making it stronger as I went.

She held out a hand, helping me up, but grunted as she pulled me. "God you're heavy. What do they feed you at that hoity toity british school?"

"Bangers and mash." I said seriously. "Some of us get bubble and squeak but I won't eat anything that sounds like it contains mouse. How about over here? You guys eat nothing but corned beef and potatoes right?"

She glared at me. "I won't dignify that with an answer. Now. Since you've got this first part down, we can begin the actual training." Gesturing across the room, she said imperiously. "Do something."

I rolled my eyes, but I wasn't going to argue. Holding up my wand I went to use my magic…and then froze. I was about to cast a spell. I didn't want a spell I wanted necromancy. I tried to remember the way it felt before, to mix my magic into my shadow, and I did it again, except this time I mixed it into the shadows in the wand. This time I felt them churn against my hand.

Reaching out through the wand, I PUSHED. The magic began to spill out, draining from the wand like a bucket of ink, spilling onto the floor and across the marble in front of my like an oil slick.

Val gave me a sympathetic look. "It's ok. I hear it happens to thirty percent of guys. They make pills for that."

Suppressing a laugh at her obvious attempt to cheer me up, I focused on the darkness spilling across the floor. Pushing, I tried to enforce the idea of spikes. I wanted shadow blades. In front of me, the inky puddle started to bubble, but not much else happened. I pushed more magic in, and the puddle got larger and thinner, but didn't do much.

I tried to think about what was different between my first and second attempts. The mix of my magic, and then I realized that I was doing this wrong.

I was trying to cast necromancy like a spell, just like when I started. This was my magic, it already belonged to me and already had power. This wasn't wizardry, and I needed to stop treating it that way. Instead, I stripped the layers of magic from my mental construct, leaving nothing but intent, and the SHOVED it into the puddle.

A huge spike shot up, the whole puddle becoming one long cone of cutting shadow that slammed into the ceiling.

Val whistled. "Cool. You're a natural." The magic slumped back down to the ground into a puddle. I retracted it into the wand, before trying it again without dripping it all over the floor first. A spike of shadow exploded from the wand, then retracted.

"Why isn't it working." I said in annoyance. "I'm telling it what to do, and it does it, but then it just…stops."

She held up a hand, and a cloud of darkness spilled out, drifting around her hand like smoke. It shifted in form, becoming a snake, making a figure eight in the air before lashing out and biting nothing. Then it dispersed.

"First rule of necromancy." She said somberly. "Death doesn't like being controlled. The shadow is death, and you're bringing it to heel. After an instruction, you need another, and another. You have to be in complete control of your power at all times or it goes inert. Well, unless you have serious mental problems, then sometimes your subconscious takes control without you knowing."

I blinked at her worriedly. "That sounds…bad. Like something I should have been told about."

"Nah." She said, waving off my very rational concerns. "It's only happened like once, and there were extenuating circumstances. You don't have too much power in there anyway. Though you need to do some image training. That whole liquid state thing is going to hamper you later on. I like the smoke thing because it allows me to transition between actions quick."

She waved her hands, the smoky darkness billowing out and whirling into a helix, then erupting into spikes midair, and so one. "Really, state doesn't matter unless you think it does. Liquid darkness can float just as easily. But that takes training."

I nodded as I pushed on the magic again. Once I connected myself to the wand, I just had to go full bore on intent. As long as I maintained some kind of momentum I was fine. "So." I said through gritted teeth as I worked to force my shadows to do some simple tricks. "How does this help me stop the White Cleaver? Because I don't see this being able to do much."

Despite its potential, I knew that I would need time to master this new form of magic. Granted, it was all physical, so it would be easier than learning new spells, but it was going to take serious mental training.

"Because the White Cleaver is animated through necromancy." She said bluntly. "If you get some of your shadows into its body you can use them to disrupt the animation. Not completely, not at this level, but enough to slow it down and cause it some inconvenience. Then, once that's done…"

My grin was wolfish. "Have Seras rip its arms and legs off." I paused. "Now I have this mental image of it hopping around like the black knight from monty python."

"Tis but a flesh wound." She teased. "Now come on. I'll teach you a few tricks that'll help you learn your limits. With less shadow, it'll move extremely fast, but that's not always a good thing. If you finish an attack before you have the next one chained it'll go dormant like you saw earlier. Tanith has a saying about it as a martial artist. 'Slow is smooth, smooth is fast'."

Which was an issue, because it meant I didn't have a speed of thought shadow attack, at least not that moment. It would be faster than a normal spell for one attack, but if I wanted longer term use it was going to be slower.

Val took me through a series of exercises her mentor taught her. Not battlefield forms or anything, but things that felt weirdly like art exercises. Making shapes, different movements, learning to split focus and do two things with one intention. Splitting my shadows into two circles spinning in opposite directions with on command was ROUGH.

It took serious discipline to do even that much, because I'd been teaching my magic to pair with my intent at a very specific ratio, and I didn't want to untrain it, so I had to do it manually instead of making a special form for it.

So we worked. And worked. And we worked some more. I started to hate Val a little because she seemed to be able to do it so effortlessly. I thought it was experience but she informed me she'd only really started necromancy a few months ago, she was just a natural fucking genius at it.

Finally, after a few hours, I started to improve, my mind started adapting to the specific frequency of intent needed to keep consistent control and to the concept of using it nonstop, and I sighed, letting myself slump to the ground. "Alright." I said, panting. "I think I have it for now. I'll keep practicing with these."

She nodded emphatically. "Yeah, don't fight the White Cleaver right now, he'll chop your head off. You need a lot of polishing before you're ready for a fight like that."

Thanking her, I got to my feet. "Sounds good." I offered her my hand. "Thanks for the help Val, I really appreciate it. We should hang out more. And tell Skulduggery thanks for hanging with Seras, even if he was probably a smarmy dick most of the time."

Snickering, she clapped me on the shoulder. "Awww, you do know us." She cooed, wiping an imaginary tear away. "But yeah, I'd love to hang out more. This was fun. I've been…not great. It's not important, just trouble sleeping, but this took my mind off it."

"Well I'm here if you need me." I smiled, and we headed back to the library. Saying goodbye to the living skeleton I opened a circle and took us back to Hogwarts school grounds, down out of the way where we'd left. I was super keyed up, and I knew my vampire needed to blow off steam too, and we had plenty of time before the game ended. Once we arrived, I grinned at Seras naughtily. "So…" I help up my wand, manifesting a small set of dark tentacles. "Want to help me practice my control?"

January 22nd, 2011 Hogwarts, Scotland, 3:00 PM BST (smut warning. Magic tentacles, dirty talk, restraint)

Seras stared at my hand, eyes losing focus as her pink tongue glided over full lips. "Yeah right." She laughed shakily. "Like I'd spread my legs for you just because you got a new power. Besides, you've already got two girlfriends, isn't that enough?" I noticed her chest heaving as her breathing became labored, and she swallowed hard as she spoke, still staring at my wand.

"The girls already knew this was coming." I said bluntly as the tentacles of shadow started to grow. "They've long since been informed that I would probably be fucking my peerage. It's why we didn't reincarnate Astoria. Of course, if you're not up for it that's fine. This is ultimately your decision."

My tone remained casual as the shadow tendrils wrapped around her wrists and started coiling up her arms. It was actually shockingly hard to focus on the magic given how horny I was, but I was giving her plenty of time to back out. Finding Seras's secret tentacle fetish was nice, but I'd always planned to fuck her when she was ready. If she wasn't I'd stop.

This wasn't out of nowhere though. We'd been flirting for a while, and I could smell how aroused she got sometimes. My Rook wanted me as bad as I wanted her.

"I…well." She said breathily. "If it would help your training." We were out on the grounds, in a secluded clearing that was wooded but not actually over the line of the forbidden forest. We both knew we'd hear anyone get close. "Why don't you…show me a little of what you had in mind."

Grinning, I mentally pushed my intent into the tendrils, wrapping them around her shoulders and up over her collar bone, snaking under her shirt. I stepped closer, the tendrils shortening as I approached, and leaned in close to her. "You can always stop me. Just say 'hentai' and I'll pull the magic back."

She nodded slowly, eyes glowing purple through the contacts. Weirdly, despite the distraction, this was made easier by how sexy she was. Because there was no possible way my intent could be stronger than it was when I was trying to fuck this absolute bombshell.

"Can you move?" I asked, making sure to push my intent to keep her still. She wriggled a bit, then shook her head. I could tell she hadn't tried too hard. I pushed my intent harder, creating another two tendrils that slid down her body to her ankles before winding up her toned legs. "So you're saying you couldn't stop me from doing…this."

With a flex of will, the tendrils under her shirt tore it wide open, snapping the front of her bra and freeing those massive jugs I'd never gotten over. Huge milky tits with pretty pink nippled bounced free into the cold January air, hanging bare and exposed for me. Seras let out a long moan as I pushed with my will, all four tendrils lifting her into the air, hanging unmoored at my mercy.

With my non wand hand, I reached up to palm one of her massive tits with my own groan. "Fuck these are sexy." I said as I kneaded one slowly. "I could never get over how fucking big they are."

"I know." She groaned. "You stare all the time. I like it though. I started leaving a button open so you'd look more. It makes me feel so sexy."

Floating off the ground myself, I drifted up into the air in front of her, reaching down with my free hand as I released the nipple I'd been fondling to unbutton my pants. I let my cock flop out, though I didn't go high enough to smack her in the face.

Positioning her in the air, I drifted closer, then pushed my will at the two arm tendrils, wrapping them around her tits. With a push of effort I shifted the tendrils and her tits with them, pushing them together. Drifting forward, I slid my cock up between them, groaning at the softness. The I started to fucking curl her up and down like a barbell, sliding my cock between her fat tits as I did.

Seras wriggled in place, whimpering a bit as her thighs tried to rub together and couldn't. "You want attention somewhere else?" I asked casually.

"These two work fine." She panted (apparently vampires breathed when they felt like it, or were too horny to remember they didn't need to. "Test the others." Her tone was disaffected, like she had forgotten the tendrils lower down were near her pussy.

I shrugged. "I guess I could do that." Flexing my will again, I pushed my intent into the lower tendrils, sliding them up her thighs until they reached her panties. With a quick jerk I snapped the sides, letting the tendrils trail along her hips then back to wrap around the cheeks of her ass.

Unhappily ceasing my spectacular zero G tit job, I floated down to the ground, touching down and lowering her with me. The closer to the ground she got though, the wider I spread her legs until her skirt had been forced up by her near complete split, exposing her dripping pussy to me. I reached down to run my fingers over the finely trimmed thatch of blonde abode her cunt, earning a whine.

She was hanging in the air in front of me, exposed to the cold air, and my cock was still out. I had no reason not to finally put that surprisingly hot pussy (I'd expected a vampire cunt to be cooler, but hers was sweltering) to work. I pressed the head of my dick against her lower lips, staring into her brightly glowing eyes. "I'm gonna fuck this." I said bluntly. "Unless you tell me to stop."

"I need it." She whined. "It's so fucking big but I want it anyway. Just take it slow. I'm not…it's not my first time, but I've never been with a man as big as you."

I reached down with my free hand, wrapping it around her waist as a guide, and then slowly bushed her down onto my dick with a ragged groan. She was SO FUCKING TIGHT. Fuck. Vampire pussy was like a vise. "Fuck." I grunted. "It's like sticking my dick in a hydraulic press. But I'm a devil, I can still take it. Besides, we haven't even gotten to the fun part yet." Her eyes, which had been fluttering, snapped open wide at that.

"What do you-" I pushed with my will, and the two lower tendrils peeled her thick ass cheeks apart. " Ryan, what are you doing? Wait, I don't know about-." Her stuttering turned to a squeal as I combined the two tendrils into one long thick blunt ended shape and pressed it slowly into her asshole. "FUUUUUUCK my ARSE!" She squealed.

I raised an eyebrow, trying not to moan as her pussy clamped down even tighter. If I wasn't a fucking devil this would have probably caused me actual injury. As it was it just felt like heaven. "I already am."

"I wasn't asking." She ground out. "It was an exclamation. Fuck, you can't just bugger a girl without asking."

I grinned at her. "Please, you knew where that was going when I spread your cheeks. You had plenty of time to say your safe word. You wanted it. Your pussy is fluttering on my cock like a horde of butterflies. Admit it, you're so turned on right now you can't even think."

I started flexing my will, bringing her up and down my dick as I let the blunt tendril fuck her ass. It was HARD. Like rubbing your belly and patting your head, but I was motivated as fuck and she felt amazing. "I don't-" She whined. "I don't like-" She cut off her own sentence with a moan. "I bloody LOVE it. Fuck I'm so full. This feels amazing. Go harder."

Grinning, I started really swinging my hips, they clapped against her thick thighs as I shover myself into her obscenely spread legs, and she threw back her head and let out a ragged roar of lust. Her fat tits were bouncing along with the meaty smacks of my hips into her body as we fucked, and her pussy was working my like a norwegian milk maid.

'Fuck yes." She snarled. "Get in there. Get in those fucking guts stud. I haven't been fucked this hard in my life. This is how devils do it! Break my fanny! Ruin it!" I could feel her wriggling against her restraints, trying to get me deeper but unable to get leverage in the air.

"Fuck" I groaned. "You're a hardcore bitch aren't you Seras. You sure you can take it all?"

She snapped her teeth at me, eyes blazing. "I'm a fucking vampire, stud. I was built for this. None of your little mortal slags can take this dick like I can. Go harder. Hard enough that you would break them!" My pulse was pounding as I sped up, hammering away at her until my hips were a blur.

I fucking reveled in it. She was right, I never noticed how much I held back with the girls. I pushed them a bit for fun, but I always maintained my composure. Seras though, vampire, Rook, she was made to take this. I could pound this pussy until my legs gave out and she wouldn't quit. She could take even more than I could give, and I loved it.

Her tits were flying, flopping and heaving as she writhed on my cock. "Getting…close." She groaned, and I could feel her clamping down. I could hear her cheeks bounce as the back tendril fucked her asshole, and I felt my balls start to tighten up. I was gonna cum soon myself, and I couldn't wait to paint her insides white.

"You want something else." I rasped. Tracking her eyes as they locked on my neck. "I'm in both holes but you need more, don't you?"

She whined, nodding her head. "I do!" Her eyes were so wide I could see the whites all the way around. "I feel so good already. But I need…I need to feed. This is so intense, I'm so fucking hungry. Please let me. Let me put that third hole to work. Please let me suck you, my King."

"Not yet." I hissed, my one free hand sliding up to fist in her blonde hair. "You can't bite me until you cum. And you can't cum until I cum."

Her whine got higher and louder. "PLEASE!" She wailed. "Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaase…" She devolved into babbling keening as I sped up, getting close even as I did. I kept a hand on her head to pull her back, my other holding up the wand that enabled half of what we'd been doing, and as I felt my nuts tighten up I finally let her do it.

"Now!" I said, shoving her head down. Her teeth snapped down and buried in my neck as my cock slammed balls deep into her tight little pussy, and I swear her cunt was milking my dick as hard as she was sucking my throat. She tightened up, squirting all over my cock as she screamed against my neck, and finally went limp after we finished.

I pulled her easily away from my throat, then grabbed her as I let the tendrils fade out of existence, realizing for the first time how drained I was from using so much intent. Or possibly from the hardcore vampire sex, who knew. I dropped down on the ground, fumbling to close my pants, and then flopped onto my back, letting Seras cuddle up on top of me like a sleeping cat.

Putting away my wand, I fumbled to tie her shirt rails together to cover her tits, then smoothed her skirt down since her panties were a lost cause. Then, with her snuggled up on my chest under the shade of the trees, I let myself drift off to sleep for a bit. I needed a quick nap after all that.

As usual, pat-reon has the advance chapters at that site /malcolmtent hope everyone enjoyed the chapter.