Kuroko held hands with Uiharu the entire way to her apartment, her mind awhirl with clashing ideas on what to do next. She found it hard to focus on much of anything, one thought bleeding into the next as her overactive mind envisioned countless scenarios and 'what-ifs'. And that was when she wasn't berating herself for slipping up like this in the first place.

Clearly, continuing her Judgment duties right away had been a mistake. She'd needed more time to center herself, to make sure her mask was glued tight to her face before ever interacting with Kazari Uiharu. She should have come up with an excuse to delay her return to work in the meanwhile…

But, it was all too late now. What had happened, happened, and there was no turning back, short of a direct intervention from Misaki Shokuhou. And quite honestly, Kuroko had no intention of getting her involved. For better or for worse, this was the path she had now chosen.

Indeed, while part of her remained fearful over opening up to her, she'd made her choice, and she was determined to stick with it. In an odd way, knowing she was going to come free felt oddly…liberating. It felt good, knowing that soon enough, her secret would be out in the open with another person. No, what she was really fretting about now, what really took up the most amount of space in her mind, was wondering just how much of the truth she should tell Uiharu.

She was going to tell her the truth about her origins, most definitely. But her meta knowledge of the future? Of how this was a fictional world, a show that she'd watched on tv? That seemed a step too far, and liable to push past Uiharu's suspension of disbelief, which would no doubt be at its breaking point already with the talk of past lives. How could she even prove she was telling the truth there? Uiharu couldn't read her mind, and she couldn't recall any secretive events from Uiharu's past that she otherwise wouldn't have the right to know. Sure, she could predict the future and use those events as her proof, but it'd still take time to acquire such evidence. No, it was best to leave the aspect of her nature out of the discussion, at least for this reintroduction. Perhaps later, she could bring that up. For now…

…

Well, if she was being honest with herself…she was scared. Even leaving out her meta knowledge, the prospect of telling Uiharu everything else remained frightening. She honestly wasn't sure how she was going to react to that revelation. She was going to confess to murdering Kuroko Shirai, after all. And most people didn't take kindly to such revelations. Of course, that did assume Uiharu fully believed her, which…

Well, if in her other life, a friend had come to him confessing to having memories of another life and believed that these resurfaced memories had erased their previous identity, he definitely wouldn't have believed them. It sounded utterly insane. More the pity for her that in this magical instance, that insanity was completely and utterly true.

Hm, well, there was no point speculating, was there? She'd be telling Uiharu the truth soon enough, making all of this hand-wringing pointless. At the end of the day, what Uiharu chose to believe in regards to that truth was entirely up to her. She would just have to live with the results.

Kuroko was finally brought out of her musings as they walked up the stairs to Uiharu's apartment complex. Uiharu unlocked the door to her apartment, letting Kuroko inside as she closed the door behind them.

The place itself looked simple and decent enough. Walking in, the apartment flowed in two directions, with a modest kitchen taking up one of them. The other main room of the apartment was the bedroom, with a single bed set up against the left wall, while a writing desk sat opposite it. Beside the bed was a small dresser, and in the room's center was a small table. And on the right side of the apartment, adjacent to the bedroom and opposite the kitchen, was a closed door that Kuroko was fairly certain led to the bathroom.

All in all, a decent setup for a young girl living by herself. Kuroko could certainly do without the garishly green carpet, though.

"Oh, if you're staying the night, I'll go ahead and make us dinner," Uiharu offered, heading toward the kitchen.

"You don't have to go through the trouble…" she started to object, but Uiharu cut her off.

"Please, I don't mind at all. If you'd like, you can go ahead and take a bath, too, while I cook. I can leave a pair of pajamas outside the door for you to change into."

She hesitated, before nodding her assent to both ideas. After that, she took a small breath, squaring her shoulders before heading into the bathroom.

Honestly, she was glad Uiharu hadn't also offered to wash her back, or something like that. That would have been an embarrassing offer to reject. Though…at this point, it might also be good 'practice' for her.

Distasteful as the idea was, Kuroko knew she'd encounter some sort of similar situation sooner than later. She hadn't been back at Tokiwadai long, so she hadn't been put through any situations with shared or public bathing, or shared changing rooms yet. However, she knew it was only a matter of time until it happened, and when it did…

Oh, it was going to be so awkward. She'd found it weird enough changing in the locker room as a boy in school. Now she'd have to deal with that awkwardness all over again, compounded by the fact she was now a girl, and that she'd be in such compromising situations with minors. Which…okay, fair enough, her new body was also underage, so it kind of compensated for that fact. It still didn't make her feel any less awkward or disgusted at the idea, given her memories and feelings of being an adult, and…

Okay, she was not going to unpack all of that baggage right now. She'd deal with that after telling Uiharu the truth.

Kuroko slapped her cheeks, doing her best to calm herself down before reluctantly getting ready to wash herself. She closed her eyes again as she disrobed, another discomforting shiver running down her spine as she drew the curtain and started up the shower. With her being in an entirely different place this time, it was harder to just let her body default to autopilot, making every moment of this all the more awkward and difficult. She ended up rushing through the process, getting herself cleaned up as fast as she could manage, before finally drying herself off and changing into the pajamas Uiharu had left out for her.

She emerged from the bathroom to the pleasing scent of cooking food, and moved to go help Uiharu out in the kitchen. From there, they enjoyed a small meal together, and Kuroko helped Uiharu wash the dishes before she went to wash up as well. That left Kuroko time to think things over one final time, thinking over her approach…as well as time to send a quick text to Komaki explaining the situation. Hopefully her roommate would be able to cover for her, lest she get her neck snapped by the Dorm Supervisor…

Ugh, she did not want to get on that woman's bad side.

Finally, Uiharu came back from the shower, now changed into a set of pajamas herself. She took a seat opposite from her, the two of them sat at the small table in the center of the bedroom. For a long moment, neither of them spoke. Until, finally, Kuroko gave a sigh, and started to talk.

"Uiharu…do you believe in reincarnation?"

She spoke for some time, detailing everything that had happened since she had awoken on Saturday afternoon. How she had woken up with memories of a different, potentially past life, and in the process, had killed Kuroko Shirai. How she had been pretending since then, masquerading as the girl she had killed so that no one would be the wiser. Just about the only thing she didn't confess was her meta-knowledge and this whole world being fictional in another reality. That, she felt, would still be a bridge too far with Uiharu, at least right now.

Throughout the entire confession, Uiharu remained largely quiet. She spoke up now and again as she told her story, but otherwise, she let her speak for as long as she needed to. For her own part, Kuroko kept her gaze fixed on the table in front of her, too afraid to see just what sort of face Uiharu had to be making during all of this.

"…And that's the truth," she murmured, reaching the end of her tale. "I don't know if you believe me or not; and if you do, you probably hate me now. I wouldn't blame you. But I just…couldn't keep lying to you anymore. Just doing it for a day was torture for me, and furthermore, it just wasn't right."

She fell silent after that, struggling for words as she searched for something more to say. The entire time, she kept her eyes fixed to the table, uncertainty and guilt gnawing away at her.

Uiharu continued to remain silent, and Kuroko felt a sinking pit start to form in her stomach. She continued to stare down, her hands gripping the fabric of her pajama bottoms. After a long moment, she started speaking again.

"If you want me to, I can leave. I don't want to make you uncomfortable…"

Even as she spoke, she couldn't fight against that sense of dread filling her body. Uiharu knew the truth, now, and there would be no coming back from it. What did she think would happen here? That Uiharu would just forgive her for killing her best friend? Or, alternatively, maybe Uiharu just thought she'd gone absolutely nuts, in which case she was clearly questioning having a friendship with such a basketcase. Whatever option it was, she'd been such a fool to think anything else would have happened here.

Either way, it was clear that she'd have to adjust to a life without her, painful as the notion was. She'd need to submit a transfer request to Konori tomorrow, maybe even resign from Judgment altogether. She hated the thought of leaving Judgment, too, but if it made Uiharu feel more comfortable, then that's just what she would have to do. Uiharu would want her out of her life now, and it was a decision she'd have to respect.

Maybe…it was better this way. She could try to keep Uiharu safe from afar, keep her away from all the dangers that were just on the horizon. Even if they couldn't be friends, Kuroko didn't want anything bad to happen to her. Though there was one silver lining here: Saten would be safe too, since she wouldn't be getting involved in any of this. Without Uiharu to introduce them, Saten would never wind up in Mikoto or Touma's orbit, and thus be safe from any of the dangers targeting them. That was good, wasn't it? It would complicate the timeline, sure, and who knew how it would affect things with Mikoto in the long run. But that didn't matter. She'd deal with it, and compensate for these huge changes.

Maybe—

Her thoughts came to a crashing halt as she felt Uiharu embrace her.

Kuroko blinked repeatedly, her mouth opening and closing at a rapid pace as a wave of shock washed over her. Uiharu's head rested against her shoulder, keeping her face obscured from view, but she could feel the warmth and love from the hug all the same.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm hugging my best friend," Uiharu simply said.

For the second time that day, Kuroko felt something break inside of her. A choked sob left her lips as she vigorously shook her head. Tears started streaming down her cheeks, another sob escaping from her as her body shuddered and shook. She weakly tried to push her away, but Uiharu just clung tighter to her in response.

"No, I'm not. I'm not!" She insisted, still shaking her head. "I killed her, Uiharu. I killed Kuroko Shirai with my awakening. She's gone! The friend you know is dead! I'm just…I'm just a monster walking around in her corpse!"

"No, you're not!" Uiharu was just as quick to refute her point, silencing her before she could say anything more. "You're not a monster. You're my friend, Shirai. Nothing is ever going to change that, I swear."

Uiharu pulled back, tears visible in her own eyes as well. But on her face rested a soft, loving smile that just made Kuroko cry harder. She reached over, gingerly cupping her cheek as she continued to speak in a soft, soothing voice.

"You're hurting so much, aren't you? I could tell something was wrong all day…but I never imagined just how awful it was for you. Oh, Shirai, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how you feel right now…"

Kuroko just sobbed harder at that, unable to say much of anything as words failed her. In response, Uiharu reached over to her, pulling her back into a hug as she cradled her head against her chest. Kuroko cried into her shirt, her hands gripping at the fabric as she sobbed and sobbed…

All the while, Uiharu whispered comfortingly to her, softly stroking her hair as she held onto her.

Eventually, Kuroko felt her tears dry out, left feeling hollow and empty as she clung onto Uiharu. She sniffled, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand as she slowly, hesitantly lifted her face away from her chest.

"I'm not…" she started to speak, her voice cracking. "I'm still not…the girl you think I am. I'm…I'm not Kuroko Shirai…"

Uiharu just continued to smile at her, and slowly shook her head. "You might feel that way, but…that's just not how I see it. To me, you're still the same person you were before…all of this."

She paused for a moment, looking unsure of herself before apparently deciding to forge ahead. "Besides, you said it yourself…you still have her memories, don't you? You still have her thoughts and her feelings. And memories are what makes a person, aren't they? So that still makes you Kuroko Shirai. That still makes you the same person I made that promise with a year ago. So you're still my best friend, and nothing is ever going to change that."

Kuroko sniffled again, looking away for a moment as she digested that response. She still didn't agree with her, even if she could see the logic behind Uiharu's argument. It had a certain amount of sense to it, but it just didn't feel right to her. She hadn't felt solely like Kuroko Shirai since her awakening. Sure, she had access to her memories, to her powers, even leftover remnants of her psyche and her brain chemistry. But she wasn't just that person, anymore. The memories of that other life stretched farther than Kuroko Shirai's thirteen years of life, making it feel more real to her than anything Kuroko Shirai had done. Plus, there was the existential crisis over the nature of her existence. She wasn't just in someone else's body, she was in the body of a fictional character. She had been thrown into a world that had just been some convoluted story in her old life. What exactly did that say about the nature of her current reality?

At the end of the day, she was…some other creature, from another life and another world. And that creature had shoved Kuroko Shirai out of her own body, and taken over what was left.

Part of her still felt the urge to press the point, to try and shout some sense into Uiharu, but…she also knew that it wouldn't do either of them any good. Uiharu had made up her mind, and Kuroko knew she wouldn't change it so easily. Trying to argue about it now would only lead to more tears and frustration on both ends.

Besides, if she was being honest…part of her felt relieved. Part of her, the part of her that was left over from Kuroko Shirai, felt thankful that Uiharu didn't consider her some sort of monster: even if that's what she really was, deep down.

She swallowed thickly, taking another moment to compose herself before softly asking,

"So, you…believe me? You believe everything I just told you?"

Uiharu hesitated, looking off to the side as she struggled for an answer. After a slight pause she said, "I…I don't know. It's a lot to take in, and it all sounds so…fantastical. I don't think I really believe in something like that, something like…reincarnation, or past lives. So, part of me doesn't want to believe what you're saying. But…you believe it, Shirai, and that's all that matters. I can tell that it's tearing you up inside, and I hate seeing you in so much pain. Whether or not I believe it, it doesn't matter. All I care about is helping you, Shirai."

That…felt like a surprisingly pragmatic and mature response out of Uiharu, though Kuroko could certainly see her logic there. She might have come to a similar conclusion, had a friend confessed something similar in either of her lives.

She gave another sniffle, looking down in shame as her hands gripped at her knees. "I…you're such a good friend, Uiharu. Far better than I deserve…"

Uiharu smiled softly at her, and reached over to grab her hand. She interlocked their fingers together, gently squeezing her hand as she replied.

"You're a good friend too, Shirai. I know…this can't have been easy for you. So I'm glad you decided to be honest with me."

Kuroko felt a small smile tug at her lips, a feeling of calm and peace starting to push back against the hollowness she felt. Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes again, though this time, they weren't tears of sorrow.

She reached over to hug Uiharu once more, squeezing her tight the entire time. "Thank you."

Uiharu hugged her back, and the two of them stayed like that for some time.

The two of them parted after a while, a soft smile still resting on Uiharu's lips. She reached over to grab her hand again, squeezing it gently. At the same time, a more thoughtful expression blossomed over Uiharu's features.

"Can I…ask you some questions? You know, about…all of this?" she carefully inquired.

Kuroko took a small breath, her thumb rubbing up against the back of Uiharu's hand as she nodded. "Of course. I'll answer whatever questions you have. It's only fair."

She nodded, taking another moment to think of how to phrase her query before she started to speak.

"You…said you were a boy in this other life, right?"

Kuroko gave a single nod, and Uiharu pressed on a few seconds later.

"So…um, does that mean you…consider yourself a boy now?"

Kuroko blinked rapidly, not quite expecting a question like that. A wry little smile spread over her lips as she noted, "You sure like to start off with the hard questions, don't you?"

"Sorry," she quickly apologized, looking rather guilty as she shook her head. "If that question makes you uncomfortable, you—!"

"No, no, it's fine. I don't mind," she quickly said.

Kuroko sighed, leaning back as she considered the matter. It was a very good question, and if she had to answer right now…

"Honestly? I don't know," she admitted, looking off to the side. "This body is female, and I have memories of being a girl my whole life. But I also have memories of being a boy, for an even longer period. It's…hard to reconcile the two. I guess I…don't quite know what I am, yet."

Mentally, it was easier to think of herself in terms of 'she', given that that was her body's current biological gender. But if she had to choose for herself in the long run? If she truly had time to think and ponder about it? Kuroko wasn't really sure what she would pick. Quite honestly, she didn't feel like a girl, but she certainly didn't feel like a boy anymore, either.

Besides, she…had bigger things to worry about. Personal issues like that didn't matter when it came to the threats and issues lurking in the shadows.

Regardless, Uiharu seemed to take her answer with a serious, considerate face, slowly nodding as she looked down in thought.

"So…" she started to speak up again. "Does that mean…um, that is…do you…"

She trailed off, clearly uncertain about her next question. Kuroko smiled kindly at her, and gestured for her to continue.

"So, um, are you still…interested…in boys? Or…" she finally managed to get out, looking away nervously.

She found herself blinking yet again, and a wry little smirk spread over her lips. "Really, Uiharu?"

"Sorry, I'm making it weird, aren't I?" she apologized, her cheeks tinged with a small blush.

"No, no, it's fine. It's pretty easy to answer, actually. I'm fairly sure I'm gay," she noted in a dry tone.

She made a face a moment later, the words feeling a little weird as soon as they left her lips. In the context of her other life, that would have been a very odd thing to say indeed. But, in this life, it was definitely the truth. If there was one, small thing that made this situation slightly more tolerable, it was the fact that both she and Kuroko Shirai shared an attraction to women. She might be having an identity crisis and a gender crisis, but at least she could be confident that any anxiety over her sexuality wouldn't be an actual issue for her.

Well, granted, she could be wrong. She'd yet to see any men that her body found attractive or desirable in any way, but that didn't mean that would always be the case. So it was possible, however remotely, that Kuroko Shirai had been bisexual. It was also possible that her basis for the belief in Kuroko Shirai's sexuality was misguided due to her canonical love being something more akin to a one-target sexuality, as it were, and that her wider attraction to other women was merely because of her own sexual preferences in her other life. But she had her doubts that either of those situations was the case here.

"Oh!" Uiharu blushed harder at that, looking even more flustered as her eyes darted between Kuroko and herself. Only now did she seem to be fully aware, and self-conscious, of the physical distance, or lack thereof, between them.

"I'm not about to confess to you, Uiharu. Just calm down," she teased, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, right, of course," Uiharu noted, looking away with a still visible blush.

…Did she sound disappointed?

Nope, she was not touching that one with a ten foot pole.

"So…" Uiharu cleared her throat a moment later, changing the topic as she approached her next query. "You said you were an adult in this other life, right? Did you…have a family there? Any…children?"

"No…no, I hadn't had any kids. No lover or wife, either," she confirmed with a shake of her head. She looked down at her lap, a small grimace tugging at her lips. And hadn't that made him feel more awkward and self-conscious as he'd grown older, in that other life.

Well, ironically enough, that lack of connections did make this whole situation somewhat…easier to swallow. Kuroko could only imagine the additional misery she'd be feeling if she had actually left behind a wife and children in that other life.

"I did have my parents, a cool aunt, my Memaw, two older sisters, and plenty of nieces and nephews between my sisters. I loved them all very dearly," she recalled, calming down a little as she recounted the rest of her close family. It hurt her to think about them, admittedly, but it paradoxically also brought her some measure of peace, as well.

Uiharu nodded, taking that information in as she furrowed her brow.

"What was it like? Your old life, I mean. No, wait, that's…it's too broad of a question, isn't it? Um, maybe…that is, what do you miss from it? From your old life?" she questioned after a moment, before looking uncertain again. "Sorry, is that too personal…?"

"No, it's fine. I don't mind talking about it. What do I miss, huh?" she hummed in thought, still smiling even as she felt a pang in her chest from the rush of memories that question brought forth.

It hurt to think about it, about what she had had, what she had lost. But, in this context…it felt almost liberating, in an odd sense. Maybe it was because she actually had someone to talk to about this stuff?

"I think I miss my dogs the most," she confided, giving a wistful sigh. "It's silly, I know, but…they were such good dogs, so cute and smart and playful. Bella, especially. She was my favorite. I had had her since college, and just loved playing fetch with her…"

She gave another sigh, trailing off as a flood of memories came to the surface of her mind. Though at the same time, a small, peaceful smile flickered over her lips.

Uiharu seemed to catch that, as she offered a few moments later, "I'd love to hear more about them. If you want to talk about it, I mean."

Kuroko found that she did, as it happened. She found it all too easy to tell Uiharu not just about her dogs, but other facets of her old life. Her friends, her family, her jobs, her hobbies, her dreams. Uiharu listened to her the entire time, letting her speak her mind as they shifted from one topic to the next.

They only ended up stopping when they were both too tired to continue, Uiharu almost ready to fall asleep on the spot. From there they decided to retire for the night. Kuroko was ready to help set up a spare bed, but Uiharu insisted that they share her bed together, and she found it hard to say no to her. So the two of them got ready soon after, talking a bit more as they settled into Uiharu's bed together. Even then, they talked a bit more, about everything and nothing, until they both drifted off into sleep.

And for the first time since she'd come to this world, Kuroko fell asleep with a smile.

When she woke up the next morning, she felt oddly refreshed and at peace, another first for her since her arrival. Kuroko didn't have long to dwell on it, though. She bade her goodbyes to Uiharu, changing back into her uniform swiftly as she rushed out of her apartment, heading back over to her dorm. And as she made her way back, she couldn't help but reflect on what had happened.

That had all gone…a whole lot better than it had any right to, quite honestly. Kuroko could still hardly believe she'd finished the prior night with her friendship with Uiharu still intact. Really, Uiharu was such a kind, empathetic person. It made her all the more thankful that she had someone like that in her life. She truly didn't deserve her.

It did make her wonder, though, just what would happen with her friendship with Uiharu going forward. Just before she'd left the apartment, Uiharu had promised not to tell anyone else what she'd revealed last night. But as for how it affected the relationship between them from here on out, Kuroko honestly wasn't sure. Uiharu herself had confessed she hadn't fully believed her story, after all. A part of Uiharu had to think she was crazy now, as well, and she honestly wouldn't blame her for that.

Then again, maybe she was crazy. Maybe she was still Kuroko Shirai, but she had suffered some sort of mental break alongside that serious fever. Maybe she was just hallucinating all of those memories of a past life...

Ah, if only things could be that simple.

She also couldn't help but feel a bit guilty that she hadn't fully revealed her meta-knowledge to Uiharu, but she still felt that that had been the right call. She just didn't have any real evidence to back that claim up, and it would have stretched Uiharu's disbelief to the breaking point, most likely. Maybe in the future, though, she could figure out how to divulge that information. Perhaps after she got Misaki Shokuhou on board; Uiharu would have to believe her if Mental Out herself was backing up her claim.

Hm, it did make her wonder, though. Just who all was she going to...involve in her inner circle here? Who was she going to confide her secrets to, in order to get their help in dealing with some of these upcoming disasters? Uiharu was partially read in; she was already reluctantly consigned to the idea of involving Misaki Shokuhou, and once she was on board, she could fully brief Uiharu on everything else. Uiharu's technical skills would make her a pivotal ally to have, to say the least. Heaven Canceller meanwhile would be the lynchpin for her plan in dealing with Harumi Kiyama, and it was possible he might be able to help out with Accelerator and the Sisters as well. Though his close association with Aleister Crowley made her wary of him, he seemed like an otherwise good man, and someone liable to believe her claims at face value. Then, of course, there was Touma...she felt she'd almost have to tell him the truth, or at least most of it. He'd also be a key player in helping her circumvent a lot of the upcoming disasters heading Academy City's way.

That seemed like a good, capable enough group. Either way, though, she still had time to think things over.

What she didn't have time for was being distracted by her racing thoughts. She really needed to get back to her dorm room, and quickly at that.

Even with her teleporting, it took a little longer than she would have liked getting back over to her dormitory. Still, she managed to arrive there without any further incident, and walked over to the front entrance of the building. She took a moment to calm herself down, and made sure she was still presentable, in case she ran into anyone.

It was time to find out if Komaki had successfully covered for her…

When she walked into the main entrance and saw the Dorm Supervisor waiting for her, her glinting glasses obscuring her gaze from view, Kuroko saw both of her lives flash before her eyes.

She offered the supervisor a nervous smile, taking a step back even as she considered the pros and cons of an emergency teleport out of there. Unfortunately for her, the dorm supervisor seemed to catch on to her intentions, and started marching straight over to her.

Kuroko started to backpedal even more, raising her hands up in supplication before starting to babble. "N-Now, I know what you're thinking! 'Should I snap her neck?' And the answer might surprise—!"

The Dorm Supervisor proceeded to grab her and put her into a chokehold, cutting off any further words.

Author's Note:

And here we are, the next chapter. The beans have been spilled, but things seem to have gone better for Kuroko than she would have guessed. Good for her! That also brings the first day of KurokoSI's attempt at living her regular life to a close. From here, the pace should hopefully pick up, as our protagonist settles in to really start making some changes to the timeline.

Hope you all enjoy!