Luna asked me if I wanted to work with her to bring down Lord Voldemort today. Of course I wanted to because we all agree he's going to come back to kill Harry Potter and the wizarding world would be better of with him dead. But a part of me doesn't wish for him to die. He's the biggest player in wizarding world politics of late. I think ministers are afraid to be more welcoming to muggle-borns even now because they're afraid of what he'll do to them if he ever comes back into power. They're being more neutral than they like. And I think some of the Sacred 28 pureblood Slytherins may want to make some moves on the wizarding world but they currently can't because they're fearful of him. In a way he's still put a blockade on the wizarding world even though his height was over ages ago. Once the problem of him goes away and people know he's dead for real, I don't know which direction the wizarding world would take of in. And I sort of want to preserve the subjugation a little. Especially as I oneday want to rise to the top of the wizarding world. I don't want the hold he has over the world to go. Oh, I didn't even know a small part of me would root for him. He's clearly a monster from all that he's done.
Hermione rambled in her diary late at night.
You'll have to tell me more about Lord Voldemort and the current affairs of the wizarding world. I only have the memories up til the time I was enchanted. The diary said.
Hermione adjusted her position and wrote. She had used 'lumos-yellow' because she wanted a light that would protect her eyes a little and the heavenly glow cast over the book was rather pleasant at this time of night. It gave of orange halloween vibes which she rather liked. Her quill scrawled messages across the page.
Lord Voldemort is a dark wizard who's against muggles and muggle-borns. Most of his supporters were pureblooded slytherins, some of which were Sacred 28 families. They went on muggle killing and torturing sprees, and killed lots of witches and wizards as well. I don't know the reason but I imagine they just liked picking fights, duelling for fun, or possibly wanted to kill other witches or wizards of spectacular power so that they couldn't possibly kill him. He tried to kill Harry Potter when he was a baby, because he thought Harry Potter may grow up to overthrow him one day I think. It didn't work and his body was never found, but Harry Potter remained alive. So Harry Potter must've been able to kill him as a baby. Ever since then the wizarding world hails Harry Potter was a hero and thinks he will finish of Lord Voldemort. I think Harry Potter is just an ordinary boy. And I think who will change the wizarding world will be someone that wants to. Not someone who was thrust into the position at birth. I also think that some people still want to believe Lord Voldemort is gone forever, but some believe he will be back for one more attempt on Harry Potter's life. I believe the latter.
Your analysis is wrong. He wouldn't duel for fun. That's what drunk wizards do at a pub. He must've had deeper reasons for every duel he picked, even if he disguised it as mere duelling for fun to his followers. Yes, a wizard like that wouldn't risk his life in a fight over nothing. There must've been something about Harry Potter that no other wizard had before. Harry Potter can't be an ordinary boy. You are right. People become extraordinary when they make themselves so. Harry Potter may just be a pawn in the game, but it may indeed be another ambitious witch or wizard that changes the wizarding world for the current century. You are right that he still holds a political sway over the current wizarding world and with him gone for certain, changes will happen. What changes do you think will happen? What more do you know about Harry Potter?
I suppose you're right. Harry Potter's in my year but he's done nothing extraordinary. He just seems like an ordinary boy. I think Professor Dumbledore is setting up series of magical challenges for him and his friends to solve because he wants to prepare him for the final showdown between Lord Voldemort and himself, but he doesn't really seem to want to do them. Last year Luna and I solved a challenge. I believe the Sacred 28 purebloods will try to make some changes to make muggles and muggle-borns less welcome in the wizarding society. They've wanted to do that for years. I think some witches and wizards who want to involve muggles and muggle-borns more may...perhaps split of from society? Or create some secret network that is more welcoming? Maybe there will be more conflict there. Maybe other magical sentient creatures that have fought with or against witches and wizards would pick sides in it as well. Some may refuse to interact with muggle-borns, some may only serve them...
Useless boy. What challenge was that? Who is Luna? Yes, it seems like that's a major issue in the wizarding world. Even today. It was in my time. Yes, politics will take on that debate again once the debate over whether Lord Voldemort is alive or not and how much power he holds disappears.
We don't really know. An item was hidden in Hogwarts, and I think someone was trying to steal it. Professor Quirrell, the old Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. There was a series of magical obstacles to get to it. Luna and I found Professor Quirrell there. I think Luna found the item. We killed Professor Quirrell. Professor Dumbledore then took care of everything so the school's still able to run even though a teacher died there. We don't know much more. Luna's a girl in my year who's my only ally at the moment.
Ask Luna. She sounds like she knows more than you.
I can't. We don't really talk that much, just what we have to. We didn't even talk that much last year. I'm not sure if she'll even tell me. She's my only ally at the moment. I don't want to lose her.
What does Luna want? The diary asked.
I don't know. I don't really know her deeply. Hermione wrote.
I think you need to practice getting to know people more. To live and breathe and understand how people think as well as you understand your own. Luna sounds like a difficult person to get to know. I make that inference because you tell me you have no friends so you must be desperate for friendship. All young children crave it. With her being your ally, or really, fake best friend in a sense, and for you to have so little sense of her, she must be an incredibly difficult person to read. You need to learn how to truly know someone.
You're right. I never got that chance with people at my elementary school before Hogwarts. I...I don't know what happened diary. I should've been the queen, but I just didn't...
Someone else became queen bee. Because they wanted to. Perhaps they even kicked you out as a threat.
Maybe. I was always known for my intelligence. Hermione wrote.
Perhaps they saw it early and that's why you were the outcast.
You're right. I can't be the outcast again here in the wizarding world. In fact, if anything I'm the underdog. In a way, because I'm muggle-born.
Perfect.
I'll try to get new friends. Well not friends. Friends don't exist. Allies. Allies that are slightly more normal than Luna...
Start with Blaise. The diary suggested.
What Blaise!? Why? He's not the one to come to mind.
Simple really. The Slytherins keep up the false pretense of hating muggle-borns so you're automatically locked out of the Sacred 28 Slytherins. It will be difficult to understand how they truly think. Tracey-Davis and Blaise Zabini are one of the few people in your grade that come to mind from your mentionings of them who may show a chink in their armour because they don't have the pureblood Sacred 28 facade. Blaise is also the one who seeks you out. It will be easy to use him and hide it. No one will suspect. If you play it well it may seem like he is still using you. And I bet he knows something about the other Slytherins you don't which may be an into the group.
You're right. Blaise is somewhat respected by the Slytherin boys. They might tell him a few things...you're right. He's the Slytherin that's really tried to interact with me the most. Even though he's mostly just flirting with me. Like he flirts with everyone.
He flirts with everyone for different reasons. Find out his with yours.
The diary instructed.
And so...Hermione had a new goal.
"My tongue is back to normal now. Do you want to kiss it?" Blaise opened his mouth and blew her a kiss at breakfast the other day.
The other Slytherins giggled. Even though they found his flirtations annoying a lot of them daydreamed about a prince charming sweeping them of their feet, but they so rarely ever got to see such public displays of affection in person. Especially from the coveted Slytherin boys. So Blaise's flirtations still gave them a sort of value, as they could imagine the same sort of thing just coming from the person they wanted. For a few essentially teenage girls, it made for good entertainment. Blaise Zabini did have his followers and admirers for this reason, or girls who were...fond of him. Despite his general creepiness.
"Go away or I'll hex you again," Hermione bought out her wand a little halfway. She didn't really mean it. She wasn't going to drop the act and act like she was over the moon about his interactions with her however.
"Are you gonna give me a horn in another area?" Blaise said. A tiny hint of a dare in his voice. This got all the Slytherins laughing, as if they couldn't believe him or his comments.
"Do you want to see me try? Not now though. Breakfast," said Hermione as she ate. She picked at her nails like she'd seen Pansy doing.
Then, Blaise shot out a hex from his wand and gave Hermione 5 inch long nails. Unfortunately she didn't know the countercurse so she would have to go to the hospital wing for that. Everyone started giggling.
"Payback for what you did to me," grinned Blaise.
A part of Hermione was chilled though. He hadn't said any incantation yet so that meant he had mastered wordless hexes. That was definitely very impressive. Where though, she had never seen Zabini actually duel with any of the Slytherin boys at Hogwarts. Where had he picked up wordless hexes from?
"Don't make me scratch you," said Hermione before she got up and left. She'd barely had any breakfast.
She went to a bathroom before going to the hospital wing however, because she wanted to write in her diary about this little update.
There's a countercurse for all sorts of minor hexes and jinxes. I can teach you. The diary said.
Hermione tried the incantation.
It works. Thanks. She wrote.
Don't go to class yet. Pretend you've actually gone to the hospital wing and use this time to your advantage. The diary wrote.
"Hey, what's that you've got there," said a voice.
Hermione almost jumped out of her skins. Panic jolting through her like a cat. She'd always thought if she was an animgus like Professor Mcgonagall she'll be a cat or some form of mammal with good instincts. A lot of things actually made her jittery even if she didn't always show it.
The face of a sad little girl about her own age peered back at her. A ghost from Hogwarts she didn't know.
"Just a diary. I keep one," said Hermione, "I'm going to class now."
"No don't go, no one ever comes here!" the ghost girl twirled around a bit all around Hermione. The icy coldness encircled her.
"Did you die at Hogwarts? You're wearing a Hogwarts school uniform," said Hermione. Deciding that she would indeed talk to the girl a little. Perhaps she would find out more about this ghost at Hogwarts in this time. A part of her was chilled though. A deceased Hogwarts student? What had she died from?
"Yes! Finally someone recognises! Do you want to hear my story!" The girl dived into the toilets and let out a stream of water.
Hermione muttered a charm to dry her robes. She hated it when ghosts could move things a little. In fact, it was probably due to the magic in the air of Hogwarts she was able to do that. Sort of like the same magic that allowed peeves to form, but could also allow ghosts to be able to move things. Hermione could tell if there was less magic at Hogwarts all ghosts couldn't be able to occasionally affect the environment as they pleased.
"Yes, what's your name?" she asked.
"Myrtle Warren. I died when I saw a giant snake. I was in the bathroom, crying after Olive Hornby bullied me. Nasty girl she is. Horrible person. And when I opened the door...there was the snake outside and I just...when I came back, I realised I was a ghost. Then I stalked Olive Hornby forever to get revenge for what she did to me," Myrtle began cackling, "but I was ordered to stop by the Ministry of Magic. After that I returned here..." she smirked a little, "I did my job. I hope she remembers all that she did to me."
Like Pansy to me. Except I won't die and if I did I'd have better things to do than haunt her bitterly.
"I have to go," said Hermione, not really finding Myrtle's company all that inspirational.
Myrtle cried and wailed after Hermione but after she left the bathroom Myrtle didn't follow her. Hermione then went to charms. She did find it interesting to learn more about one of the ghost's of Hogwarts but also a little sad too in a way. To think that someone had died as a student. She may not have even been the first, just the one that left behind a ghost.
"Your nails look nice. I never noticed how nice they were until I hexed them," said Blaise as they entered charms.
"You noticed when they were back to normal. Not at the time of hexing," said Hermione.
Professor Flitwick glared in the general direction of where the chatter was coming from.
You hex good.
Hermione looked to see Blaise had passed her a note. Excitement fluttered in her chest. It felt like she had a friend at Hogwarts for a bit.
You're not so bad either. Even though you don't care about classes, including Defence Against the Dark Arts. She scribbled back discreetly.
I don't need it. I'm a halfblood of some influence in the world. I could do even worse at Hogwarts and still get by. He wrote.
So why don't you? What's the carrot for the little effort you're putting in to not completely flunk? Hermione wrote.
Whoa, goody two shoes Granger knows the concept of flunking. I don't know, it's a bit interesting and I don't particularly care to underdo my work to get badly. He wrote.
Ah, so you do actually like learning magic a little. Despite the cool-boy facade. Of course I do, there were people who flunked at my elementary school too you know.
I think everyone does a bit. It's really only Crabbe and Goyle who try to get by by completely doing nothing. And yet you seen so detached from all the normal people at your elementary school. What you say about your friends there mostly seems like they're goody two shoes like you Hermione. It's like there's no people like us there.
There are. I just didn't like their company so I stayed with my group of friends.
Then why are you talking to me now? We both know I'm not a goody two shoes. What's changed about Hogwarts?
I don't know what to say to that.
Is it because...you like me?
Shut up.
Hermione could feel herself heating up.
After charms was over they went to flying. Hermione was busy scrubbing on sunscreen, as with the rest of them. It was one of the mandatory items to bring with them to Hogwarts.
"Hey I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you go all quiet. You never really talked about this sort of stuff with a guy huh? This liking people stuff," Blaise trotted after her.
A few people glanced at them but there was a tiny shred of jealousy in their eyes. Once again it was the first time any one of them heard a guy talking about this sort of stuff with a girl. Hermione was the first to experience it in a way.
"No, have you? You just kiss random girls and that's it," she said.
"I've done more than that," Blaise laughed, but upon seeing her face he stopped. "Jealousy?" He touched Hermione's cheek sadly, "somewhere inside of you. You do want to be liked. Even by me even if I'm not usually the boy you like..."
"You're not totally bad. I don't know why you're so awful all the time. Maybe you'll get more girls if you didn't...creepy on everyone so much," said Hermione.
"I know," Blaise said, "but I do it cause I like to. Keeps the conversation interesting. I don't want to be boring," he hopped on his broom, they were playing dodgeball on broomsticks for about twenty minutes that day and hit Hermione upside the arm. "You're it. Get me back," he said.
"This isn't tag," Hermione said as she shot after him. She usually didn't get a chance to fly much in flying because she wasn't good at it and never really got into the groove of any faux Quidditch matches they had.
"Flying is the easiest class to bludge. We can kind of play whatever came we want in it," he said. He had a point, Crabbe and Goyle were trying to catch insects, Malfoy was busy trying to see his reflection in some statues nearby because he wanted to look at his new broom (one of the most expensive ones), and Pansy, Daphne and Millicent were unfairly lobbying the yellow fluffy dodgeballs at Tracey-Davis instead of everyone.
"I guess, you have a point," said Hermione.
Just as she neared though, he flew higher.
"Catch me," he stuck his tongue out.
Hermione rose up a little. She was scared because the ground was so far beneath her, but yet she found if she squeezed tight she felt more steady on the broom. A breeze flew at her and she felt the broom shake a bit beneath her.
"Fly constantly," he said, "if you keep flying at a constant speed, even slowly, it makes it easier to deal with the wind. I don't know how it helps, it just does."
Blaise dropped into a steady zoom around the field. Hermione tried. Her pace was too slow at first, but when she increased it beyond what she originally dared to, she began to feel her own pace outstripping the wind so that when the next gust came, it almost seemed secondary to her own direction. Luckily the field was big enough she could fly with full-force in one way and never run into any obstacles.
"You're right," said Hermione. This must've been a trick witches and wizards figured out, "what happens if you actually want to stay still though?"
"You could try hovering up and down," said Blaise.
Hermione tried it and found the repeated motions did help with the wind. Thanks to his help she was higher than she ever was before. She flew even higher.
"Sun's annoying," she murmured.
Blaise took out his wand and muttered a charm. Instantly Hermione felt her world darken into shades of grey, like sunglasses had slipped atop her eyes.
"Still don't look at the sun," said Blaise, "neat charm most halfbloods and purebloods know."
A part of Hermione now craved to be a halfblood or pureblood. It seemed like they knew the inns and outs of magic.
"Who's the muggle-born in your family?" she asked.
"My great-aunt," he said, "hey, we should get going back now."
They touched down again. Professor Hooch even awarded Hermione house points for flying well.
Hermione enjoyed hanging out with Blaise all week. He taught her things here and there. She began to like him.
"Can I study with you?" he asked. He had found her in one of the dungeons studying by herself after classes had finished.
"Don't you have friends? Oh wait, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle are friends. And Nott's not exactly friendly with anybody. You're kind of the odd one out of the Slytherin boys," murmured Hermione. She felt a little sad for him. He occupied a spot similar to her and Tracey-Davis of the Slytherin girls. Half in half out. More in than her though.
"Bit more complicated than that. Nott's convinced he's going to discover the secrets of Hogwarts castle - there's always a few every school year like that. They think with all the magic that's going on, the castle has to have more secrets and everything. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle are absolutely uncrackable. They have an agreement that their parents had, for them to be friends at Hogwarts," explained Blaise.
"How do you even know all this?" asked Hermione.
"I watch things. Observe...and also feel left out. I don't really have any friends. You're kind of the first friend I have," he said.
"That's right. Even though you flirted with some other girls you didn't really talk to them much because you didn't share the same house-" said Hermione.
"My mistake-" murmured Blaise.
"So by virtue of us sharing the same house and most of the classes, we...are sort of close," said Hermione.
"Yeah. And well, I knew the Slytherin girls wouldn't ever dream of including you. And well, Tracy-Davis doesn't seem like an easy person to befriend either," said Blaise.
Tracy-Davis liked gossiping, finding people's secrets, and no one ever fully trusted her. Especially as she wanted to appear better in the eyes of the other Hogwarts students through having delicious gossip on the Slytherin queen bees that half of the things coming out of her mouth was blatant lies. She really wasn't a favourite of anyone but because she was so good at entertaining others with her half made up tales, the Slytherin girls took a small liking to her, or at least didn't bully her as badly as if she were plain.
"If I'm not sadistic and didn't want to make my life here so much harder by making friends with the wrong people, Tracy is someone I'm trying to avoid. I'm sort of neutral towards the other Slytherin girls though. I mean, if they'd accept me," said Hermione.
"They might. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's parents have a formal agreement of sorts. The other girls don't," said Blaise, "can I kiss you?"
"What?!" said Hermione.
"I just want to prove something to myself. It's a game I tend to play with others..."
Hermione remembered the diary's suggestions.
"On a condition. I can play games too," she said.
"What's the condition?" Blaise cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Help me get into the Slytherin girls clique. I'm dying to get to know somebody at Hogwarts that isn't Luna. She's great but...unreadable. Even to me. The Slytherin girls seem more...well there was noone like Luna at my elementary school but there were people like them..."
"You relate easier to them. Despite all the bullying," said Blaise, "I dunno. You must have a lot of kisses and hugs and who knows what else to give away. You could spend an eternity trying to crack into the Sacred 28 cliques. People have spent their whole lifetimes trying and dying you know..."
All the more reason I must. To show that I can.
"I'll give you something if it works," said Hermione.
"Swear on it," said Blaise, "there's a small oath that we halfbloods like to use. It's a weaker version of the unbreakable oath."
He taught her a magical oath where you selected a curse, hex or jinx of your choice. He selected a spectacularly nasty one that caused the words 'cheat' to be spelled out on Hermione's face in zits if she were to break her side of the oath and Hermione chose one that would turn his hair into serpents. It seemed like an itchy menace to Medusa and to anyone else who was magically cursed with it as well.
"The first thing," said Blaise, "is to make sure Tracey is completely and utterly permanently banned from the clique. She is someone noone from there wants to touch at all. Once they themselves know they don't want her...you have more chances to buy your way in. It must be done subtly..."
"And in exchange for that. I want a kiss. Open-mouthed," he said.
Hermione knew she shouldn't want it so badly. She knew she ought to be disgusted at this arrangement. She knew she ought to throw away her feelings, tell her it was just for the sake of proving something to herself too on her end (of moving up) that she would agree to swap kisses for secrets, but yet a part of her actually felt...a little like she wanted Blaise. Even though he was still the creep who wouldn't leave her alone. But yet...he had understood her, he had been her first real friend of sorts, he had even understood some of her desires to move up and make something better of herself. He wasn't all that bad. A tiny bit of attraction flared up inside of her. Followed by shame or embarrassment. Ordinarily she would think of herself at above Blaise Zabini, the boy who flirted with everybody but...
"Done deal," said Hermione. She managed to play it cool to him when she said goodbye, she managed to play it cool all the way to the girl's dormitory where she went because she wanted some time to reflect on what had happened after it did, but a part of her burned with the feeling that she might actually be attracted to him a little out of all people.
What...had she gotten herself into?
I'm actually starting to fall in love with Blaise Zabini and I don't want to. She wrote in her diary.
Fall in love with other people then. The diary suggested.
Who? There's no one really...
You need to know more boys. The diary told her. I suggest Nott based on what you said. He seems the most free.
He's a loner. Hermione wrote. He's also good with hexes, jinxes, anything dark. His suggestions in the common room about dark magic are foul and awful.
Slytherins were constantly talking about dark magic of all sorts like it was a drug. It seemed some knew no bounds and wouldn't stop at anything to get what they wanted out of others. No matter what the magic was.
But yet, as you told me what Blaise told you. He is a loner outside of the Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle clique at Hogwarts. That can be turned to benefit yourself eventually...
I have my hands full with Blaise.
Didn't you want to rise to the top? It's not all fun and games. But commitment. Even if you hate it.
I guess you're right.
Hermione didn't really want to spend her time reading everyone, sneaking into their good graces, trying to find out more about them through subtle ways, but because she wanted power, to rise up, to show people they were wrong about her, she found herself turning it into a chore or regular routine. Even when she wanted to sleep, or just spend her days doing something fun or light-hearted, she couldn't exactly stop.
And so she made it a goal to fall in love with Nott because she would die if she found herself married to Blaise Zabini the notorious boytoy one day. Absolutely die.
Author's Note: I really have no idea which direction the story will go in terms of romances yet. There's a lot of different pairings I can imagine for this fanfic, and none of them have fully solidified in my head as a writer so all I can promise is that romance will be explored to some level here. But BlaisexHermione isn't the real pairing. Not for this fic. I'm not sure whether to mark this story under the romance genre or not, I'll write some more chapters and if there turns out to be a strong pairing that arises with a lot of chapters building on their relationship (and it's genuine romance) I might change it. Let me know if there's any chapter that you think this story should be marked under romance or not. I'll mention it in an author's note if I do change it.
Please review, I love reading them :)