Okay, I'm posting this one without my little double check because... well I just want to post it now so I can start on the next chapter. Start the fic.
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Pacifica walked back to the compartment where Dipper, Artie, and the Baba Yaga sat waiting for her. Her personal inspection of the train wasn't everything she was hoping for, on the inside it seemed like a pretty normal train. Outside the compartment though, she could hear Dipper and Artie talking.
"Dipper seriously, your Pacifica friend is maddeningly hot! And you are sharing a ROOF with her! How have you not made a move on her?"
"Pacifica is amazing but I'm on thin ice with her right now. And we both know she's more than a set of curves!"
"True! The likes of you and me are interested in women who are more than a pretty face, but that's kind of my point!"
"Honestly? I kind of feel like I don't have the right to pursue that kind of relationship with her."
"What?" Pacifica whispered.
"You see, we had a visit from Pacifica's father recently."
"Yes, I think you said something about that."
"Yeah, well he brought up some things against me. He's an asshole, and that's putting it nicely, but he wasn't exactly wrong either. Before I came back in to her life she was living at the Ritz, then she hired me to stop this little creeps from stealing her family fortune and... I failed. I offered her a new life of mystery and adventure with me on the road but I've recently learned that it was probably a huge step backwards for her."
"Dipper, mate, if she had a problem with this type of life she would have left it by now."
"Maybe. Pacifica has adapted to the job in every way I was expecting and even some I wasn't. She is smart, creative, confident and if you want to talk looks well anybody with eyes could tell you Pacifica is top shelf the whole way."
Pacifica felt her face suddenly heat up but she held her breath and continued to listen to Dipper.
"And she's not just hot either, she gets these doe eyes."
"Doe eyes?"
"Yeah, her eyes get real big and cute. The type of eyes you'd find on a female deer. When she gives me those eyes I'm practically puddy in her hands."
Pacifica clenched her shirt.
"But none of that matters, I still screwed up with her. Twice I've failed her! Once when I failed to protect her way money, and twice when I went against her wishes and investigated her father. I don't make a move on her because I don't have the right."
"Aww mate..."
Pacifica took a deep breath and decided that perhaps she should double check her inspection of the train.
New Jersey... Prison Island...
The Jersey Devil landed in the middle of his prison courtyard and stretched tiredly. "Long flights are fun but boy do they take it out of me. Alice!"
A ghost almost immediately appeared next to him. She was dressed in goth attire and had a curious bruise mark around her neck.
"Yes sir?"
"Has my new soul arrived? I sent it here."
"Yes sir, but I'm afraid we have a bigger problem involving your 'pet'."
"Oh she started eating the zombies again, didn't she?"
"There's none left, my lord."
"Pity. JOSEPHINE!"
*THOOM!*
A giant monster landed from the sky in front of the Jersey Devil. It had the head of a goat, the wings of a pterodactyl, and a height which easily dwarfed the Jersey Devil. It's tail was forked and it had very scrawny arms, like branches.
"Ah there's my girl."
He scratched it under it's chin and it flopped on to it's back exposing it's belly.
"Although, I will never forget those two old men you ate. Dickie and Ascot, the Sibling Brothers. They should have just learned their lesson from when they were kids, but they would have met their end at some point I guess."
He started to rub the beast's belly.
"There's daddy's red herring."
The Train... Illinois...
*KNOCK!**KNOCK!**KNOCK!*
Pacifica opened the door and came in with her hair an absolute mess. There was an absurd amount of frizz and a leaf and a stick could be seen sticking out of it. She took a seat next to Dipper sitting parallel from Artie. The Baba Yaga sat on the floor in between the seats inside Artie's magic sack.
"Whoa! What happened to you?"
"I didn't stick my head out the window!" Pacifica blurted out a little too quickly.
"...What?"
"Never mind. I just finished checking on the train, everything is quiet and the dinning car seems to be fully stocked for whatever reason. Our RV in the storage caboose, everything seemed secured."
"I still say it is not fair, you lot got to keep your vehicle but I had to leave mine behind." pouted Artie.
"Artie, your 'car' is remote controlled, you can summon it from anywhere. And besides, the storage caboose only had room for one vehicle."
"I'm sorry, anywhere?" asked Pacifica.
"That's right, it can change in to a jet. From the road to the sky in under two minutes! I never have to worry about a traffic jam!"
"Unless you get stuck in a traffic jam in under one minute. Then you're helpless." Dipper jabbed.
"I-Hey!"
Pacifica let out a small giggle.
"You liked that one, did you Sweetheart?"
"Wait!" Artie turned to Pacifica. "He calls you Sweetheart? And you LET him?"
Dipper and Pacifica blushed in unison.
"Yes, well you see... It was Dipper's nickname for me when we reunited after ten years and it just sort of stuck!" Pacifica stammered.
"Yes, but she could have had me stopped calling her that at anytime! All she had to do was speak up about it!" explained Dipper.
"Yeah, but that was the nickname you chose! You could have called me something else but you never did!" Pacifica accused.
"I was going to stop but you insisted that it was 'YOUR nickname' and YOU missed it!"
"...I'm not part of this conversation anymore, am I?" asked Artie.
Artie's little question brought Dipper and Pacifica crashing back to Earth.
"Artie, buddy! I'm so sorry!"
"We didn't mean to ignore you!"
"Can I say something?" asked the Baba Yaga.
"NO!" everyone else shouted in unison.
"You just keep your fat jaw shut!" snapped Artie.
"Okay, let's all just take a step back here. I still got a lot of paper work to finish here."
"Well that's fine, mate. While you do that, I think I'd like to get to know Miss Northwest here a little better. Dipper tells me you've been everywhere."
*POP!*
"Sorry, that was my fault! Another pen popped in my hands."
"Of course it did, mate. Now Miss Northwest, I understand you've been all over the world."
"Please, call me Pacifica."
Dipper let out an angry growl. Pacifica wore a small smirk which if asked she would deny every existed.
"To be honest, I'm not interested in talking about myself for a change. I think I would like to hear more about you!"
*POP!*
"Aw man, again?! Why does this keep happening to me?!" complained Dipper.
"Keep at it, Dipper. Well you've seen my sack, so why don't I show you my gun?"
'Pacifica will see through that innuendo in a second. Then she's REALLY going to let him have it! Just you wait Artie, I won't be the only one in the dog house for very long!' thought Dipper.
"Sure!"
'OH WHAT THE #$%^&*?!'
*POP!*
"And there goes another one." Dipper deadpanned.
"Dipper, you're going through an awful lot of pens. Would you like a handkerchief to wipe the ink off your hands or something?" Pacifica asked.
"Yes!"
Artie tossed a handkerchief to Dipper and pulled out what looked like a toy. Specifically some type of space gun toy from a cartoon. It had a short yellow handle which lead up to the square shaped body of the gun. From here it was colored snow white until it reached a hairline line. After the line it was a metallic blue, and while it did still have three of the four corners from the square from here on it took more of a cone shape. Near the mouth of the gun was a silver ring with little cross hair wings each pointed at a different side. What was strange about it though was four small wheels on the top of it.
"This is my laser piece. Unlike the laser on Dipper's gun I can shoot multiple times instead of just one long beam."
Dipper only grunted at the comparison.
"All by itself, the shots only stun but if I find the situation is a little too dire..." The blue end folded down from the hairline end revealing a square hole in the body. "I can shot lethal blasts from the core."
"And what about the wheels on the top?" Pacifica asked.
"Oh! That's the cool bit! Watch this!"
He placed his gun on the ground upside down and walked to the far end of the compartment.
*SNAP!*
The gun peeled out on the floor with all four of it's little wheels. It sped like a little mini-rocket until it reached Artie.
"It was supposed to spring up to my hand but I sort of plucked it from development a little early."
Dipper didn't stop writing but he did look up from his paper work as Artie sat back down in his spot. "And do you know how that 'magnificent' gun works?"
"I... well, no. The tech boys invented it, I was just assigned it."
"Uh-huh. That's what I thought."
Pacifica put her hand on Artie's. "Hey, it's alright. I don't know how my umbrella works and that is pretty high tech."
The train suddenly came to an abrupt screeching halt causing our four passengers to scream in a blind panic. Pacifica was sent flying forward landing on Artie's chest while Dipper was getting acquainted with the floor.
*POP!*
'You have to GOT to be kidding me with this!'
Pacifica was the first on her feet. "Is everyone okay?"
"I'm alright." stated Dipper.
"I'm better than alright." declared Artie.
"I'm not okay!"
"Nobody cares, Baba Yaga!" Pacifica snapped.
"What's that conductor thinking?!" Dipper fumed. "He almost killed us! I should go talk to him! Pacifica?"
Pacifica stood up and dusted herself off. "I think I'll stay here and guard the prisoner with Artie."
"And I'll stay here. Alone. With Pacifica. In which nothing potentially romantic could happen."
"What?" asked Pacifica.
*POP!*
"Wow, Dipper! You are just FLYING through those pens!"
Dipper grumbled angrily to himself as he marched down the hallway of the passenger car.
"Stupid Artie... 'Oh don't worry, 'mate'! I'll bring you up in conversation; it'll help us both out!' Yeah right! If either one of them gives me a nickname like Blueberry Hand or something then I swear I will never live it down!"
He opened the door and stepped out on to the little railway between the cars. He looked to his right and saw a blue wall of light, this was same shielding covering the entirety of the train.
"Well at least there's no way anyone is getting off the train right now."
He opened the door to the next car and found tables lined with silverware everywhere.
"Ritzy! Must be the dining car. Seems a little too high class to be created McGucket though."
It was then that Dipper looked up and notice banjos hanging on the ceiling.
"Now I believe it. I got the feeling that 'prison transport' wasn't what McGucket had planned for this train though."
Pacifica and Artie were laughing heartily while Baba Yaga fumed on the floor.
"You didn't actually do that, did you? Tell me you didn't actually hit that witch with the bloody RV!"
"I did! I didn't know what else I could do!" Pacifica laughed.
"Well if you ask me, that was very resourceful of you."
"Well I think it was very CRUEL of you! Who hits somebody with an RV? Honestly!"
"Oh shut up! Nobody care what Ms. Child Eater thinks! But thanks for the compliment, Artie."
"The best compliments are always the truest. Speaking of truth, what were the names of those countries you traveled to?"
Pacifica did her best to try and remember them all, but she was sure she could remember the majority of them. "Well let's see... there was Iceland, France of course, England... London was very lovely. Then there was Poland, Germany, Russia, and one very sweet summer in Japan."
"That's a good number of languages to learn right there."
"Yes, but if you can believe it the whole experience was rather boring. When you come from a weird little town like Gravity Falls, local flavors of normal places are kind of bland. But that's just adolescence, my adult life with Dipper has been much more exciting!"
"Mmhmm. I don't doubt it." Artie nodded with a smile, patiently listening to Pacifica go on.
"When it is actually happening to me I'm absolutely terrified but when I look back on them I realize those cases were actually some pretty amazing adventures."
Artie's smile never left as he rested his head in his hand. 'I never knew you could pick'em like this, mate. Dipper, I underestimated you.'
"Do go on!"
Pacifica did not go on. She silently stared at Artie for a moment or two, almost as if she were trying to read his mind.
"Artie, can I ask you a question?"
"For you, I'm an open book!"
"Is there a reason you wanted us to stay behind? Is there, like, a question on your mind or something?"
"Afraid you caught me. There is a question I've wanted to ask you. A question I can only ask you with the two of us alone."
"Excuse me, but I'm still here!" Baba Yaga snapped.
"Oh nobody cares! Why don't you just keep your trap shut?!" Pacifica snapped back.
"Well if that's how you really feel then I'll just leave!"
Baba Yaga started to roll herself towards the door but was stopped by Artie's foot.
"You're going nowhere, you sack of crap!" Artie snapped.
He kicked her back to the end of the wall and looked to Pacifica.
"The truth is Pacifica that I also see in you what Dipper sees. You see, men like Dipper and I are never interested in women who are 'just pretty faces'. We need something more, a woman who develops her core in to something active! A woman who is well aware of the danger she's in but doesn't let it stop her. I could go on and on but I think you get what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to ask though... Pacifica, would you consider leaving Dipper and coming to work with me instead?"
"What?"
"I travel all around the world and sometimes I don't know local language. Don't go thinking I would only need you as a linguist though, I need back up just like Dipper does. It is a smaller pool than you might think it is. Anyways, I think you could go far in my business and there is a LOT more benefits than with Dipper's job."
"I..." Pacifica trailed off, seriously considering the offer. "Geez... That could be a step up... but what about Dipper?"
"My mate Dipper is tough! Yeah, he won't be happy about it but he'll get over it and find somebody else. Did I ever tell you that he won't let me meet his sister?"
Back with Dipper...
"Honestly, did we start with that many cars? This is crazy!"
Dipper entered the engine car ready to give the striped man an earful. Said car was bigger than anyone would have expected, another McGucket super science trick, it was just as big as the other cars with the controls for the steam engine way in the back. Despite the space, Pat still stuck out like a sore thumb. He was quite surprised to see Dipper.
"Hey Pat! What's the big idea stopping like that?! We're transporting a dangerous criminal, this transport is supposed to be non-stop!"
"I'm sorry! It... I just..."
With the day Dipper was having he had very little patience for anything let alone hearing someone try to stutter out an excuse.
"Well?! Out with it! I haven't got all day you know!"
"Hey! You be nice to my daddy!"
"What?"
From behind Pat's leg a little girl appeared, wearing little overalls with a red and yellow striped shirt.
"My daddy is really nice and fun so you should be nice to him!"
Dipper needed a moment to pick his jaw up off the floor. "Pat, tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing! Tell me this isn't your four year old daughter!"
Pat picked the little girl up and held her with one arm. "Yeah, sorry. This is my daughter, little Sarah."
"Man, this is the REDDEST of red flags right here! We have a literal..." Dipper stopped mid-sentence when he noticed he had the four year old's undivided attention. "You-know-what on board! How could you let this happen?!"
"I'm sorry, but this wasn't my fault! She must have slipped away from the government agent I left her with..."
"He was no fun!" Sarah pipped.
"Not now, Sweetie. Anyways, she must have snuck on before we left the station. That's why I stopped the train; her little game of hide and seek was up when I accidentally stumbled upon her. I was so shocked..."
"Pat!" Dipper held up his hand. "You don't have to explain anymore than that. I'll explain to the others what happened but you have to get this train up and running. Especially with our little stow away on board, every second she's on the same train as that... 'thing' is a moment of danger for her; so we need to get to our destination faster than ever now, understand?"
"Yes sir!"
Dipper started his way back letting out an exhausted sigh. How was he supposed to explain this?
Omake
A lone figure sat in a booth patiently waiting for his friend to arrive. A pixie waitress flew down to him with a mini pen and pad. "Ready to order, Big Shot?"
"Thanks, but I'm waiting for my friend to arrive."
"Is this 'friend', famous like you?"
"Sort of. He definitely doesn't have my magnetic personality."
The door suddenly opened with a slam and man was seen panting out of breath in the door way.
"HEY!" a cyclops yelled from inside the kitchen. "CLOSE THE DOOR! YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE COLD AIR IN!"
This person closed the door but quietly muttered "I AM the cold air.".
"That's him now! We'll take a couple of milkshakes, if you got'em."
"Two milkshakes, coming up!"
"Thanks Doll!"
The man sat down at the booth.
"Jack Frost as I live and breathe. You've seen better days."
"It's these snow women man! I've bitten off WAY more than I can chew, which is why I've asked you to come here."
"Sorry, can't help you!"
"What?! Come on! YOU'RE YOU! Only you, and maybe Dipper, can help me!"
"Who's Dipper?"
"He's a detective, deals in our type of messes. That's not important right now, right now you have to tell me why you can't solve my problem! Just make'em go away man!"
"Can't. I have my own problem stopping me from solving your problem. Actually, now that I think about it... a detective is exactly what I need right now! What did you say his name was?"
"Pines. Detective Dipper Pines. He also has this cute little number following him arou..."
"PINES?!" He stood up. "You have to be kidding me!"
"You know about the Pines family? I thought they'd be... below your radar."
"Know them?! Yeah I know them! And I know they're nothing but trouble!"
"Sit down, calm down. Come on, our milkshakes are here."
A couple of rainbow colored milkshakes in glass cups floated down to the table.
*SLURP!*
"There, now don't you feel better?"
"I guess... I'm sorry, just thinking about those Pines makes me so angry!"
"Well you have to ask yourself a question, pal. What's more important; your hang up with the Pines or solving your problem?"
"...Sigh. I guess beggars can't be choosers! Oh!"
"'Oh' what?"
The man pointed to the window. "Looks like your fanclub found you Jack."
Jack turned to the window and saw the three snow women pressed up against the glass. One of them even managed to draw a heart on the window with her finger.
"AAAACK!" Jack screamed in terror as he fell out of his seat crashing to the floor.
"It looks like they have diamond rings on their fingers. Did you...?"
"THEY MADE THEIR OWN!"
That's it for now! So anyways, a couple of things. Artie's gun is actually based off this toy I had as a kid. It was a little vehicle thing I liked to pretend was a laser gun. For the longest time I had no idea what it was or from what is was supposed to be from, only after high school did I get an answer. Apparently it was one of the pieces used to form Voltron (the machine one), you couldn't imagine my disappointment. I liked what I assigned it better. Anyways, there's a big twist coming up in the next chapter and I wonder if anyone will see it coming. Also, longest omake ever; I'm very sorry about that, but I've given a little teaser on their next adventure and I'm very curious to see if anyone can figure out who Jack Frost was sitting with at the table. If you think you've got it figured out, then leave a review about it. Also 'Josephine' was my of acknowledging Lost Legends without sacrificing any of my canon story arc. I think I linked the two pretty well, don't you? (Lost Legends is great!) So did you enjoy this chapter? I write for fun, and knowing my readers are having fun helps me write so let me hear it if you did!