Chapter 30 - Apprentices, Part 2
Aziraphale and Crowley did their best to prepare all three apprentices. Aziraphale still suggested and discussed books. He was surprised at how voraciously Eric read through classics, especially adventures. "I can read Mr. Fell, but there are no libraries in Hell." Eric explained. The angel and the demon could debate a phrase in a book for hours. At times, Eric almost wished he were an angel.
Crowley took one, two or all three to the cinema during the day. They could discuss movies and human behavior while they sat alone in the theater. Sometimes, Crowley would stop time for a deeper conversation. As Aziraphale predicted, Raph and Crowley enjoyed trading barbs and rock lyrics.
Whenever a misunderstanding or disagreement seemed to approach dangerous levels, Muriel would use her whimsical approach to keep things going smoothly. Her gift was as distracting and underestimated as Aziraphale's 'twinkle'.
At the urging of the Inter-Realm Ambassador and the Guardian Angel, the apprentices sometimes met on their own to compare notes. "They'll have to learn to work together sometime," Crowley observed. "There will be another War if they don't."
In search of neutral territory, the meetings were held all over the world. By no coincidence, they often occurred at music festivals. Each apprentice's style was so eclectic that they blended in perfectly at those events. Muriel tried to stay current, but her fashion sense was a hodgepodge of influences. A pink camouflage T-shirt that read "Free, Equal, Neutral", with teal harem pants and black combat boots, topped off with an emerald green cardigan trimmed in fake ostrich feathers. Raph preferred active wear, in a navy track suit with clean, white trainers. Eric looked like a mannequin at Saville Row (where he got his fashion sense, thanks to Crowley), in a cashmere sweater, slim trousers, and leather shoes, although his hair horns and eyeliner were ever-present.
Today's meeting was at their 'home base', Nina's coffee shop. 'People watching' was a favorite pastime for the three. They would sit outside "Give Me Coffee…" for hours and make lists of questions for Aziraphale and Crowley, or bless their patience, Nina and Maggie.
They all went to various events with the Balance, but traditional boundaries were kept. Eric was not allowed in the bookshop unless it was open to the public. Muriel and Raph were not allowed in Crowley's flat without approval (and never in his office). The first part of their meetings was always filling the others in on what they may have missed.
While he was the newest to the group, Raph was the most organized, so he ran the meeting. "While the Balance is away, we have to monitor things. Obviously, all are intermingled, so we'll have to keep in touch. Please keep the memes off the business feed. I'll keep an eye on all things logistical and economical- trains, planes, boats, etc. Muriel is going to keep an eye on health and current events -no pandemics while they're gone, please." Muriel nodded. "Eric is going to monitor world politics and the weather." Eric looked up from his tablet and nodded. "Questions or Observations?"
Eric raised his frappucino. "We're still going to Lolapalooza, though, right?"
"If we're doing our jobs right, absolutely. And they should be back by Burning Man." Raph checked the calendar on his phone. "Muriel, how's the duty roster?"
Muriel unrolled a poster. "This will be posted in the kitchen in the bookshop.
You and I are taking turns with the bookshop 3 days each.
I will be visiting and taking care of Mr. Crowley's plants the other 4 days (which I will count as 2 days duty). Plus, I am on call if Uriel needs me.
Eric will be manning Mr. Crowley's office 4 days a week and keeping an eye on the Bentley.
The portals to our head offices will need to be checked for damage once a week; Eric and Raph will do that.
Raph will visit Purgatory once a week.
That gives us all 2 days off to practice our skills and relax, except when we make our monthly report to head office. In the event of an emergency, we notify each other and meet in the record shop. The listening booth is set up as an emergency contact portal to The Balance if we need them. I'll check it for messages daily."
"Well Done!" "Bravo!" Eric and Raph applauded Muriel's report. Eric added, "You may appear flighty, but that's a first-rate puzzle-solving brain you've got there, Muriel!"
Muriel smiled and sipped her tea. "You are amazing at reading people and holding on to information, Eric. I don't have that skill. And Raph always has the 'Big Picture' in mind and keeps track of it all brilliantly." Muriel believed in sharing positivity.
Raph sat down his latte and opened a letter. "Mr. Fell has asked me to review a few policies with you.
'Dear Team,
Just a few reminders as you continue learning about humans and how to blend in:
Do Not Introduce yourself as an Angel or Demon.
Do not refer to anyone as "Human" – that's a dead giveaway.
Small miracles are hidden miracles – no showing off.
No alcohol in the presence of humans, except Maggie and Nina.
Nina and Maggie will have access to all social media posts and the right to delete anything they think might expose us.
No humans go home with you, and you go home with No Humans.
No pet adoptions! Remember what happened last time.
We are completely confident that each of you can do your job; it's when you are 'off the clock' that we worry. If you need us, play "Under Pressure" in the listening booth at the wrong speed, and we'll come right back.
Sincerely,
Aziraphale and Crowley"
"I didn't know there were ordinances." Eric had tried to keep a hyena in his flat; he had to settle for a group of cacti instead.
"No worries. That's why we're here for each other. We'll get it sorted out." Raph looked at his agenda, "That's all I've got, what do we do now?"
Muriel raised her cup, "Black light bowling?"
"Yes!" Eric pounded the table enthusiastically.
"Agreed!" All stood, downed their beverages, and clinked their cups; saying in unison "Meeting adjourned!"