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Nathan & Elizabeth: An Epic Love
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Chapter Seven
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Nervous but resolute, Elizabeth picked up the letter now lying beside her.
"Everything is in here. Much of it we've already discussed. But please let me read this to the both of us. So that everything is out in the open and there is not a single thing left between us to keep us apart."
Nathan first hesitated but realized this was what she needed, and though a little unsure and against his own preference (since he simply didn't need anything further answered) he nodded in agreement, drew her a bit closer placing his arm around her shoulder as she snuggled into him. Then he watched as Elizabeth opened the envelope and unfolded the pages.
They were in whatever this was together.
In a soft, half-timid, half-confident voice, Elizabeth then began reading aloud a letter that would change his life forever:
My Dearest Nathan,
As I sit here with my every thought consumed by your presence, anxiously awaiting our coming private time together, I am compelled to put pen to paper and share the depths of my heart with you and you alone, including my innermost truths, so that you can never, ever doubt my forthrightness with you, nor the depth of my feelings and intense, unwavering love for you.
First, I wish to express my sincerest apologies for any and all confusion and pain my past behavior has caused both you and our dear, sweet Allie. Now that I am thinking clearly and have found my way again, I am so deeply ashamed of my insufferable actions and am appalled that I have hurt two of the people in this whole world who are most important to me.
Nathan, that first day I met you, my heart was aflutter with anticipation and excitement for the first time since my beloved husband had passed. You not only brought my heart to life again that day, but in the days that followed, you fully captured it.
As the days turned to weeks to months and our paths continued to cross, I found myself irresistibly drawn to your presence. Your charm, your kindness, and steadfast support awakened a feeling within me that I had only ever felt before with my husband. It was as if my broken heart had been waiting for you and for you alone, all along, as you patiently endured the trials and tribulations of my painful past. I marveled that in addition to all that, you always seemed to understand my pain better than I did myself.
But regrettably, the heart you captured was a completely broken one. When you lose a great love, you are changed forever. You know that I loved Jack with all my heart, all my being. He was my first love, my great love. And I couldn't have possibly loved him more. But you see, we were so young, and we only knew the best of love. We had never experienced loss or pain together, not like you and I have.
Know that when I lost him, everything changed, Nathan. I was alone and my heart broke into a million pieces and then it simply shut down, leaving nothing but the pain. But when Little Jack arrived, I had to function and without me realizing it, my heart started stitching back together those broken pieces, but just enough so that I could love Little Jack. It wasn't until I realized that the woman I had become was dying inside and that I wasn't honoring the love I had experienced with Jack, Sr. that I was able to open my heart back up to romantic love.
I did do that Nathan, with you, but my fear wouldn't let me tell you that fateful day that I loved you with all my heart, that I was completely in love with you, too! You see my love had grown so intense for you beyond anything I had ever experienced before, I knew only one thing: that I couldn't lose you. And so, I said, 'I can't' and ran straight into Lucas's arms. You see I couldn't take the risk of losing you too, which fear convinced me I would. I wouldn't have survived the devastation of losing you.
As for the intensity of our love together, I simply wasn't strong enough to accept that I could be fortunate enough to have a second great love even more all-encompassing in its maturity and shared life experiences than my first. You see, having lost Jack, I needed you and your love even more, meaning I would never have survived to raise our children if I had lost you, and I knew that. So again, I ran to Lucas, yes, fully knowing my heart wanted only you.
However, I couldn't listen to that, I couldn't risk that. Not with the constant ever-looming devastation I was sure would follow.
I also knew I wasn't strong enough to refuse you or your purest of loves without being bound to another.
I suppose on some subconscious level, I thought that being with someone else would eliminate any future devastation where we were concerned.
So, I created a non-existent fairy tale with a man who was comfortable, secure, and safe like all the Hamilton men I had known. Keep in mind I was always in love with only you. But full disclosure, although it pains me to say, I did grow to love Lucas too, though never in the way I love you, nor in the way an engaged woman should love the man she's engaged to.
It was because of the differences between Lucas and me that I couldn't possibly go through with the marriage we had planned together. Especially not when I realized we would never be each other's great loves.
But it was also because my heart was being drawn back to you the entire time, as my love for you just kept getting louder and louder, so much so, that it couldn't be ignored any longer.
I finally realized whether I was with you or not in a physical sense, losing you, losing your love and support would be just as devastatingly painful, and so much more so than if we had never honored our great love.
You see with or without you, my love for you was constant; it could no longer be contained nor denied.
Amidst this awakening, I knew beyond any doubt, that my heart had found its true home in you, and only you.
The love that has blossomed within me is undeniable, overpowering any lingering fears and sentiments that existed in the past.
It's that love, our love, that has allowed me to make the conscious decision to finally let go of the past, all of it, and embrace the love that I hope and pray is still waiting for me in your strong arms, knowing that together we will cherish the love I now know I will always have from Jack.
My Dearest Nathan, please understand that my past behavior, as vile as it has been, was born out of circumstances I was not strong enough to control. And that isn't an excuse. But know, I never for one second intended to cause any pain or confusion, though I take full responsibility for having done so. I humbly ask for your compassion, forgiveness, and understanding.
While at the same time with deep humility, I declare my undying love for you. You are my greatest love, Nathan Grant, my lifetime love, my forever love, my soulmate love.
You have become the beacon of light in my life that guides me through life's darkest moments and lifts me higher than I have ever been through life's most joyous moments, even the simplest of ones!
You are the only one I wish to share my life with. The only one I can see being my husband. The only one I can see being a father to my son, just as I long if she'll have me, to be a mother to your daughter.
In truth, I simply cannot fathom any future at all without you by my side, or without the four of us together as the family I believe we have always been meant to be.
In this era of uncertainty and change, as we embark on a new decade, I am so blessed and grateful to have found this all-encompassing love with you that fills my heart to overflowing while transcending space and time.
With every beat of my heart, I pledge my endless and unwavering devotion to you.
Please, my Dearest Nathan, I pray that we begin this new journey of life together, hand in hand, as we create a magnificent love story, as well as a beautiful home for our children, that will both endure for the ages to come.
Eternally,
Your Lizbeth
"I'm so ashamed and devastated that I lashed out at you and hurt you like that. I was trying so hard to fight the truth and create a new one with Lucas."
She caught her breath, trying her best not to cry, but the tears flowed yet again.
He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her, giving her the strength, she no longer had.
"Please don't cry, Lizbeth. I don't need, nor wish, to know anything at all about your relationship with Lucas. I know it wasn't what we have, and that's all that matters."
"He never had my heart, Nathan! The truth is, I never stopped loving you, as hard as I tried."
"I know," he whispered softly.
Suddenly it dawned on her.
Nathan had called her Lizbeth, and then the tears really poured, causing her entire body to shake.
She clung to him till without realizing it, she was sitting in his lap.
There he held her as tightly as he could, stroking her hair, consoling her as if she had been Allie.
But this wasn't anything like that.
He had imagined what this very thing would feel like a million times, yet his thoughts had never quite reached the reality of holding this beautiful woman he loved more than life itself in his arms, knowing now they were at long last on the same page.
He smiled, though she couldn't see it.
"I might have just one other question."
She sniffled doing her best to stop her tears, unsure she could face another one.
"Wh..at…what is it?"
Then she saw his grin, that lop-sided one that melted her every resistance.
"Elizabeth Thatcher Thornton, will you please dance with me?"
She was astonished. He wanted to dance with her out in the middle of nowhere, without music? She just hadn't imagined dancing as part of their night, but she was thrilled.
"That, is the most romantic thing I have ever heard!"
"Is that a yes?"
"That is a definite yes if I can get these tears to stop!"
He helped her up and wiped her tears, kissing a few away on her cheek.
"Nathan Grant, you do know it was you I was looking for that night so long ago? It was you I wanted desperately to dance with for the Ladies' Choice dance, but I couldn't find you!"
"Really?" he asked with sparkling eyes, teasing her by using her word.
"Now you're just teasing me!" she pouted.
"Maybe a little!" chuckled Nathan.
"But what are we dancing to?"
And then he truly astounded her.
"I might have a song for you."
He held out his hand and gave a little bow, causing her to laugh as she gave him her hand.
Then to her stunned delight, while standing in the middle of the most beautiful wild rose garden, with profusive aromatic scents filling their senses, under the newly formed stars that began to faintly shimmer and twinkle across the vast expanse of sky above them, the two began their very first dance ever.
Nathan simply took her in his arms, placed her into the perfect hold, then most astutely and proficiently led her through the step, slide, step waltz movements in perfect 3/4 time, even without the music, as fluidly as if he were mounting his steed.
Once over her initial shock in realizing Nathan could not only dance but expertly so, Elizabeth succumbed to the serenity and tranquility filling the air around them, under a stunning celestial palette canopy, creating an air of romance like none other.
And that was with just two lanterns and no candles required.
Placing her head on his strong shoulder was the most natural thing in the world, causing a peace like she had never known to fall over her in cascading waves.
After a few delightful steps of dancing fluidly as one, Nathan started humming, drew her closer at the waist, and began singing the song "It Had to Be You" in a lush baritone voice she had no idea he possessed. (*15)
"Why do I do just as you say
Why must I just give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try to forget
It must have been that something lovers call fate
Kept me saying I have to wait
I saw them all, just couldn't fall, 'til we met
It had to be you
It had to be you
I wandered around, and I finally found
The somebody who
Could make me be true
And could make me be blue
And even be glad
Just to be sad - thinking of you
Some others I've seen
Might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else gave me a thrill
With all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you
Wonderful you
It had to be you
For nobody else gave me a thrill
With all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you
Wonderful you
It had to be you." (*16)
She tried but couldn't even get a word out, mostly because she was speechless and overcome with his love, but also because if he didn't kiss her right now, she was going to stand on her tiptoes and thoroughly kiss him senseless.
But Nathan was way ahead of her and taking charge.
Both were stunned this was the moment, they had both waited for and longed for.
Their moment.
And their moment alone.
Nathan's eyes reverently perused her entire beautiful face seeing her intense desire matching his.
Then both pairs of blue eyes locked, full of anticipation and longing from all the pent-up passion that had begun building from that first moment they met in the newly renamed Royal Canadian Mounted Police Office all that time ago.
The chilled night air surrounding them positively crackled with electricity that seemed to also be emanating from each of them, as their bodies gravitated even closer.
Though exquisite, the romantic setting around them faded away into oblivion as their faces moved in, their hearts both pounding in sync, while their heads automatically tilted with their willing lips inching ever so much closer.
As Nathan's lips gently grazed Elizabeth's for the first time, there was a shared burst of the most intense emotion and long-awaited desire, first full of sweet tenderness, but immediately and helplessly erupting into a fiery passion that neither could have possibly known existed, nor could have prevented.
Time stood still as their bodies melded into each other, their souls intertwining in this most intimate moment of pure bliss.
Neither was prepared for this, for their first kiss surpassed anything either had ever known.
Every longing, every touch, every breath, every heartbeat that led them to this point was, at last, being shared in this one single, magical, poignantly beautiful, and unforgettable kiss, now forever etched in their hearts and their memory as the true beginning of this, their epic love story.
Nathan and Elizabeth having at long last found each other, were finally and truly home.
Both knowing without any doubt at all, a fiery flame had been ignited that would never be extinguished, but instead would always burn brightly as a symbol of their deep, abiding love, lasting throughout their entire lifetime…
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15-16. It Had To Be You, Popular Love Song, Isham Jones Composer, Gus Kahn Lyrics, Published May 9, 1924 (a little later than but near this time period), by Jerome H. Remick & Co., Public Domain.